Monday, 17 September 2007

More innovation needed in International Cricket

After a chastening weekend in front of the box for the smash and grab stuff from South Africa, Wickman is demanding more innovation in International cricket - and sport in general.

The time was when a couple of shepherds could smash a ball around a field using their crooks, a couple of stools and some sheep for fielders, make up some rules and turn it into an International game. Obviously they needed a bit of help from Hambledon and later the MCC but they invented the game. It then took the best part of 500 years before we started getting regularly beaten at it. And it wasn't until mid way through the last century that it was more than the Australians (let's face it they were exported Brits too) took us apart. Now any Tom, Dick and Hamed fancies having a pop at us and we're powerless to resist.

A couple of years ago we were the only ones even bothering with 20-20. No one cared. Now we're amongst the worst teams in the world at it. It's taken the Aussies a couple of stabs at it and they already look ominously good.

Look at Football. We were fine with that until last century. Whipped everyone. When Billy Webb-Ellis picked up the ball and ran with it so began the slow decline in English rugby prospects too (briefly stemmed in 2003).

The domination cycle in sport has shortened considerably. It only takes a couple of months, maybe a year, for us, as inventors of all the world's great games, to get dicke on. No, its about time we came up with a new version of cricket. I am thinking something innovative (Wickman likes to be outside the box) like 10-10 and then 5-5 and finally let's sell the world boundary bowls. If we practice like billyo in private, suddenly call a world championships with a couple of weeks' notice (having written up a really complicated rule book) we might lead the world for a couple of weeks at least. Although the current world champion of Boundary Bowls is a South African... damn.

8 comments:

Sidle said...

Maybe we could champion Guildford Cricket for a whole innings - while the oppo bat in a normal game maybe, and thus failing to have their mind fully on the new task

Wickman said...

Nice idea gaar but I hear there are already Bangladeshis playing the game to a very high standard

Sidle said...

denied

Anonymous said...

a week ago australia were on the verge of being knocked out if we'd beaten them. make your mind up wickmen. are they good or bad?

Wickman said...

You need to understand Irony Anon. If you do not understand irony then there is no point you reading any post other than the match reports. Actually, most of the match reports contain irony. Don't read this blog. If you understand irony, what it is like to be an Englishman and to have invented all the world's finest games and to be beaten at them, then continue. That is what it is to be Wick. You understand that you have to lose be better. That the system is against you but you will win. That you couldget two games conceded and win the 2s championship but you might as well have finished last because your club has a millionth of the spirit that ours does.

Get it? Got it? Good.

For those Wickmen who were not born in this sceptered isle, we love you and we want you to be more British and the longer you stay here the better. But irony is a particularly British skill and you will never get it.

Now. Remind me. If we lose to NZ do we have to play the last game or are we allowed to forget that the tournament exists???

Anonymous said...

Whilst the current World Bowls Champion (a one off annual event I might add) is South African, it is important to point out that the World Bowls Number One remains British because of the lack of competitive bowls that the World Bowls Champion has played. It is all about ranking points. It is just a shame that Wickman is lacking ranking points also...

Anon.

Anonymous said...

Wickman - i'm liking your thinking here, but i don't think concepts like 10 - 10 go far enough. How about we have just one stump at either end and every wicket taken (that hits the stump) means you get 10 runs added to your innings before you've even started.

This would be pure genius - fact

Anonymous said...

i missed most that. how ironic

GO PAKISTAN