The world hasn't stopped turning

Wickman is surprised. On Sunday morning it felt as if the world had stopped turning. We were up. Promoted. Chased down a winning draw total when the confidence was draining away. It seemed just slightly possible that Lingfield could win and dump us back down in 2divII and then half the team would have resigned from the club and drowned themselves in the Thames.

It felt good.

But by Sunday afternoon the prospect that the World had stopped turning was frightening. Good God! If the world had stopped turning and Olinda Vandals and Valley End had first use of the Wick strip what kind of nightmare Groundhog Day would that be? Imagine that Bill Murray was a venerable Wick member. Let's say Bill Murray was playing Sisso in the story of The Day The World Stopped Turning At The Wick.

What would happen to Sisso? The first time he turned up and couldn't get a game he'd have had a couple of sharpeners, placed a few bets and wandered home. And then, if you'v seen the film, it would start again the next day. And the next. And the day after that. Sisso would be drinking and placing bets for days on end. In fact, knowing Sisso, it would be quite some time before he tired of it.

Eventually though, he would. And what then? Try to get a game for one of the sides? Hope, as Wickman used to do against hope, that he would turn up to a cricket game and find the oppo one short? A call would go out to the crowd for a decent player and Billo (see what Wickman did there) would volunteer, crack a brisk 60 and take 4 for?

Or, finding that there were 22 players, umpires, scorers and even a surfeit of drinkers, would he then be forced to nobble an oppo player? How would he do it and cover it up? Dump them down the cesspit?

Luckily the World hasn't stopped. Which means its Chairman's vs President's this weekend and that there is only half a year to go until the new League season starts in May.

Perhaps the World will be hit by a meteorite, speeeeeeeed up for six months and then get hit by one going in the opposite direction and be slowed down on May 1. Or something. Please.