3xi vs Warlingham - Match Report by Lloydy

Warlingham 3xi - 157 all out on 45 overs (Linter 3-45, Smith 3-32
Hwrcc 3rd XI- 158-4 (Sayce- 75*, Walsh 37)

Risman, Sayce, Lloyd (c), Singh, Copeland +, Ewen, Nicholls, Linter, Smith, Walsh, Rodgers

When you start out in a new league you never quite know what to expect, especially from an early season fixture where the availability for a lot of clubs is somewhat erratic. So it was encouraging that the Wick were able to field 3 strong sides on the first league weekend of the season…. Long may it continue!

First up we played Warlingham who were relegated from the league above last season and after a last minute venue change we arrived at Old Walcountians [careful with the spelling there - Ed] Rugby club full of energy and thankful that we had been spared a tour of the perennial mess that is Purley way/ Ikea’s carpark. Playing at a Rugby ground you are never quite sure what king of track you are going to get, but we were pleasantly surprised to be greeted with an absolute road, though be it a green one but certainly no stud marks or lost teeth on a length and a sloping though flat outfield. It was a perfect day for a certain left arm seamer to fill his boots though unfortunately he was called up last minute as a result of a freak testicular injury in the 2’s… get well soon mate! Toss won, bowl first, ATS! Graeme and Linter opened up for us and with a light to brisk down hill breeze blowing across the strip, provided some early entertainment for the expectant wick fielders. The opening bats looked comparatively comfortable though, punishing the short ball and happy to score at 2-3 an over. Frustration began to set in eventually and it wasn’t long before some more expansive shots were played and the edges began to flow. Once Phil found his length he had one opener caught at fly slip by Graeme only to have it wiped off due to a no ball but persevered and had him out the next over in identical fashion. In between Graeme bowled their other more threatening opener with a textbook leg cutter down the slope.

With 3 and 4 at the crease the wick turned the screws with Ewen Snr encouraging the bowlers, the number 4 was cleaned up by the milkybar kid caught behind by Harry and a few overs later Lints struck again bowled this time. Graeme’s consistent line and length encouraged the number 6 to play round a straight one and the wick were on a bit of a roll.

Chairman Nicholls then joined the attack and kept things tight and even took a wicket with his second ball of the season much to Graeme's chagrin. He was ably supported by young Tom Rodgers who also picked up the sticky number 3 thanks to a sharp catch at point by Nathan in his first over. Tom struggled a little with his lines though after this and was replaced by Ewen Snr who bowled his trademark line and length darts and kept the runs down but without the reward of a wicket.

Warlingham then had a bit of a tail wag and realising they were looking like being all out for little over 100 began to chance their hand and throw the bat. Dick and Nipples requested to swap ends so Tom came back on for an over and again took a wicket. The innings was eventually mopped up by Dick and Graeme bowling their last two bats in consecutive overs to leave us needing 157 from our 50 overs plus 5 of theirs.

Tea - Difficult really as it wasn’t their ground. Some said the bread was a bit stale and I’m not sure about the sanity of roast beef and onion as a filler as it recurred on your scribe for the rest of the afternoon. Plenty of it though which is always a plus when Harry is in the side and ginger cake was a nice touch. Tea ran out twice and was served from paper cups which is always a bit galling. – 4

The pairing of Risman and Sayce got us off to a great start punishing anything short or wide and a few that were just lose. Risman walked in the 20’s with a top edge to the keeper and brought the in form Nathan Singh to the crease. Sayce carried on as before and held up his end, frustrating the Warlingham openers. Nathan was unfortunate to fall LBW, narrowly missing out on duck tax to one that kept low and he was replaced by Lloyd who, ignoring Sayce’s suggestion to play himself in creamed the first ball over the bowler for a one bounce 4. It was in the slot apparently. The score board ticked over nicely as the pair (read Sayce) scored at around 4 an over. Lloyd was given out caught behind having struck the ground and brought Will Walsh to the crease.

Will and Paul put on a fantastic partnership with the latter reaching a fine 50 to steer us within touching distance of the win. Will was eventually out to a great one handed catch at midwicket on a well deserved 37 and Harry came in to see us through the final overs to win by 6 wickets with overs to spare. The highlight of his innings being 2 consecutive drives to long off and an attempted third being missed entirely. Indeed the Warlingham keeper was so surprised he made a mess of the stumps without ball in hand much to the amusement of the square leg umpire. It was all over the 4 balls later though as Paul flicked a rank full toss off his legs for four to win the game.

Red ink and a fine 75* for Sayce and 13 points in our first outing in the new league. Early days they maybe but a good start none the less.

Bring on Kempton next week.

MOM Sayce.

[MOM Sayce waves goodbye before disappearing into an Old Walcountian back garden]

Hampton Wick Vs Worplesdon & Burpham - Match Report

Hampton Wick 2nd XI vs. Worplesdon and Burpham 2nd XI

W & B 81 all out (33.3 overs) D Ford 7-17 off 17.3 overs HWRCC 82 -2 (19.5 overs) P Sayce 44 n.o

HWRCC win by 8 wickets – league table

Sayce, Goulborn*, Forbes, Cole, Lofting, High, Ewen, Copland Jnr +, Hill, Ford, Lown

You wait 3 weeks for a game then…

Our usual scribe Wickman is off improving his French this week (“Ou est l’estade de cricket”, “vous jouez au cricket?” “Je m’appelle Wickman” etc etc) so it down to wickman’s cousin to take over. (Who is wickman’s cousin?)

HWRCC turned up at home to find the wick looking glorious. The wicket looked like a wicket, the outfield was lush but firm, there were no ducks swimming by the boundary. The wick were thinking we would actually get a game today having had the previous 2 matches abandoned. There is no worse a feeling than getting a game called off. You spend all week thinking about the match, checking play-cricket, washing your kit, asking your wife for a green card to have a couple of beers after the match, when the heavens open up and decide to ruin your day. The recent rain has not been such a bad thing for the Wick, with record takings behind the bar for Saturdays after the decision is made at 1.30pm that if no cricket shall be had, then drinking all day and night is the next best thing.

On paper, HWRCC were in a funny position on Saturday with the amount of unavailables.. Fudge, Clark, Soppitt, Greenwood, Goodwin, Donnelly, Noor, Mackie all not available. So no skipper, no vice, no experience (Del) yet the side the 2’s put out still contained Ford and Cole from the ones. The side was also fielding young Harry Copland behind the stumps. 13 years old and making your league debut – not bad. Goldy, standing in as skipper (with the help from Fudge using a complex signalling method discussed later) won the toss and put the oppo into bat.

To say they started slowly is an understatement. Their scorer decided to do balls faced in the scorebook. The first 10 overs had gone by and only 4 runs had come off the bat. Ford opened up from one end bowling accurately with John Hill coming in from the other end with some good pace. It was dull – Dick Ewen shouting out he had been to livelier funerals then this game of cricket. As the bats decided that the thing between there hands would not be necessary, more and more balls began to hit the pads full and straight. This got fordy excited, with some menacing appeals. (So loud that my mum said she heard them on the Hampton Court flower show highlights show on BBC2 that evening). However, it was going to be one of those days when LBW’s were going to be as common as Jimmy C with a size zero.

The run rate continued to be slow and the pressure began to build up. Fordy eventually knocked over one of their openers with a cracking Yorker to break the stand. It was good pressure by the wick. It took us 12 overs to get the first wicket but the pressure and fielding remained the same. Out came their number 3 and back went their number 3 two balls later (I think asking for middle stump with bat facing forward was a sure sign). Another wicket fell to John Hill and at drinks they were 53-3.

After drinks, one of their bats, who had begun to get in, started playing some shots. Goldy, with the help of some interesting hand signals from the balcony from Fudgey involving a crutch and a bottle of magners gave the signal to bring on Coley for Lown. (At least we think that is what he meant). This seemed to do the job as the change in pace and extra flight bamboozled their good bat and he ended up playing on. From the other end, Fordy was in an angry mood. Getting no luck with LBW’s and the batsman not using the bats, Fordy began to clean up. He changed his angle to around the wicket and it paid dividends. From 68-3, Worplesdon were soon bowled out for 81 (they only had 10 bats but as their number 8 told us “don’t worry, he isn’t coming as his car broke down and anyway, he isn’t very good”). Fordy finished with figures of 17.3 overs, 8 maidens, 17 runs, 7 wickets – all bowled. 5 of these runs were from hitting the helmet. All 9 wickets that day were bowled.

Wick looked very good in the field. Pressure was on the bat from the start from everyone. Harry Copland, playing in his first league game for the Wick, had an excellent day. He was very tidy to the quickies and sharp as Delboy’s tongue after a few cocktails when standing up to Coley. It was actually a bit scary some of the stumping attempts he tried. This boy is Wick.

So we headed in after 2 hours in the sun for a DBW tea. 6.5/10. However, as we sat down to eat, the oppo skipper informed us that we should be going back out due to the time. Now I know rules are rules etc, but when you have had monsoon rain for the last 3 weeks, the one thing I would want to do is make my time in the sun last as long as possible. But this was not to be. So out trundled Sayce and Goldy (with sandwich in pocket) to get on with knocking off the runs. Both started well, with some good looking shots benefiting from some below average fielding, including running a single, then running another 4 overthrows as no one fielding realised the ball had been hurled to the boundary but not hard enough. Goldy then was unlucky to be bowled round his legs followed by Cole, who seemed to get the ball to hit bat and both legs before bowling him. Sayce was then joined by Forbes, who like Sayce began to play some lovely looking shots to knock over the runs. It was left for Dick to signal a wide with the scores level to bring home the 20 points for the Wick.

Overall a funny day of cricket. 20 points by 4.40pm, although sounding great, was slightly unsatisfying. Only 4 guys bowled, all the wickets were bowled and 4 guys batted leaving 3 unavoidable TFC’s. Having not played cricket for so long, we were left looking for Hibby to give us something to do. MOM goes to Fordy with a devastating spell which was just too good. Another mention to Harry Copland who performed with great maturity and really is one to watch. The lead at the top is now 32 points thanks to Lingfield beating Merrow (however Merrow still have a game on us).

So there are 7 games left of this season, Fudge, Clark and Soppitt, who up until this game had all played nearly every game this season, are back next week. We are heading towards the “business end” of the season where every game is important. Yes we are top, but we have a weekend off and 3 teams within 20 points of us (if they win their game in hand). Availability is looking great these next few weeks so with a massive push from everyone we can do well in this league. As Wickman would say

“Viva le Wick!”

HWRCC 2xi vs Merrow

Merrow 114-3 39 overs Rain 115-0 Sayce, Moore, Ewen, Crane, Wright, High, Clark*+, Goodwin, Noor, Hill, Lown

Rain wins by 10 wickets

Depressingly a game that was shaping up to its billing as a top of the table clash of the Titans was washed out at 4.30ish.

Merrow were inserted by the stand in skipper and HWRCC had largely pegged the opposition back with only Mead and an obdurate South African opener making much sense of the bowling before the rains came. Tight spells from Ted, Billy, Hilly and Lownsy (who bowled 11 off the reel) had made it difficult for all concerned. Merrow’s strategy – to sit in and see what they could get from 52 overs -looked like setting us a target in excess of 160 which might have been testing on a drying wicket.

However when the rain came it came in real torrents. So dark did it become that the trees in the park were no longer visible and within ten minutes there was so much standing water on the square (and in the hollows between the club house and square) that it did not take a genius (not that we had any) to see that the game had gone. At 6.20 when the optimists might have been prepared to have had 20 overs to chase the 114 at an unlikely 5.7 an over on something that would have been largely unplayable and with an outfield that would not have rewarded shots along the floor, the strip was still wetter than an Octopus’ front room.

So that was that. On balance 4 points suited neither side as Merrow failed to close the gap and The Wick failed to widen theirs to second and third place. Those who were picked for their batting spent one of those short afternoons in the field that leave one feeling slightly cheated, feeling slightly cheated. Like Cranesy for instance who took a blinding catch at short leg only to see the obdurate Jaapie stand his ground and the umpire (who had earlier thought that Tid was a new bowler mid spell so little attention was he paying) fail to spot the massive inside edge onto pad.

Next week we play Merstham at their place. The weather looks relatively calm at that end of the week so it will be time for The Wick to get back to winning ways if cricket is played. Our strong start to the season meant that we could afford to concede points to the weather this week and it doesn’t look as if any team will be closer than 18 points behind us going into game 8 of 16.

Wickman's Old Suttonians 2s Match Report

HWRCC 2xi vs Old Suttonians

HWRCC 181-9 (42.4 overs) Doc Greenwood 48

Old Sluts 78-10 (35.4 overs) Shaun Whinney 5-24

HWRCC won by 103 runs - League table

Moore, Sayce, Ewen, Crane, Lofting, Clark*+, Whinney, Noor, Greenwood, Hill, Lown

HWRCC beat conditions

A risky gamble paid off on Saturday as Doc Greenwood recorded his highest league score to dig stand in skipper Clarky out of a hole that was deepening by the minute. Choosing to bat on a soaking pitch to make the most of later bowling conditions, the Wick collapsed to 25-4 before partnerships between MS (26) and Clarky (23) and Shaun (17) and Doc (48) built a more than adequate total on a strip that became harder to bat on as the day wore on.

A deluge that was almost biblical in proportion arrived at 1.15pm, just as Clarky was looking out the opposition skipper, Wrankmore, to do some coin agitation. The toss was delayed while the rain came down and drenched everything. Clark decided that on balance – given the strength of the bowling attack – that he would prefer the Wick to bowl with a dry ball and the only way to have any chance of that was to bat first. It was also the only way that the game was going to get started if the home side took the obviously damp conditions on.

On winning the toss then, much to the opposition’s surprise, HWRCC batted. The decision began to look foolish as Moore edged behind to swell Duck Tax coffers, Sayce top edged a pull and was caught at fine leg and an uncharacteristically cautious Cranesy lobbed one to mid off, stopping his shot for the first time in living memory. When Ewen, who displayed much grit, was brilliantly caught at point / gully, the opposition could rightfully claim to be on top.

However – and perhaps Wickman will cause a heated debate – none of the wickets to fall thus far could be attributed to the state of the pitch. Granted it was not comfortable batting out there, but it was to be a whole lot worse for the opposition as the pitch dried and began to cut up rough like Staffordshire-Bull-Terrier-owning-hoodies in a North London housing estate. Lofting and Clark, while never well set, took advantage of some average bowling, both driving with some style once they had become used to the pace. Clark pulled one young tyro for a large six. Lofting smashed the ball back over another’s head repeatedly. And then a mini-disaster.

Lofting, turning for a second like a dog chasing its tail, pulled his hammy. Some comedy ensued as a bit of yes, no, yes, no “running” occurred in the middle of the pitch, but eventually everyone got home and the damage could be inspected. It was not good. MS retired to find some ice. Shaun joined Clarky and for a few overs they proceeded sedately to put up a decent score before Clark was totally undone by one that came back further than Hugh Grant did from career obscurity after he paid for a quick helmet shine in LA. At this point we were shy of a decent total with our batting either dead or wounded. Billy didn’t last long, spooning one back to the bowler, and in strode Doc.

Crumbs. Criminy. Yoinks. Lawks-a-mercy etc. This was boys own stuff reminiscent of a Victor comic or similar. Doc just biffed the ball all over the park. Clark, hoping to set 140, suddenly watched as the scoreboard revolved quicker than the reels on a fruit machine as Doc pulled and smashed his way towards what would have been a very well-deserved 50. His only blemish was to call Shaun through for a very tight single which Shaun failed to complete. Oh and skying one only for the bowler - too keen by half all day and not trusting his compatriots - to call for the catch and never get anyone near it despite at least two teammates being almost directly underneath it. After that, along with Hilly who made a muscular 10 not out, he completely dominated chasing 180 from 42 overs – the target set by a now rather cheerful Clarky. He eventually perished to his first miscue, caught form the shot that were it middled would have taken him to the magic number. It only remained for Lownsy to come to the wicket for the first time this season and play a very authentic sweep shot to bring up the 180 from 42.4. The declaration was made to preserve Dom’s average of infinity.

Ben Mellett for the opposition, a colt, was an impressive performer for Old Sluts. He will take the wickets of worse batsmen than Moore and Lofting in his career. Wellapilli used the conditions well also, making it difficult for the top order to score. Perhaps though, he could disguise his quicker ball slightly better. It wasn’t so much the signal at the beginning of the run as the doubling of run-up pace that gave it away...

Tea. 6/10. Same old.

If Old Sluts had been able to damage our top order with mostly on the spot sub-military-medium stuff, then it seemed self evident that Shaun and Muzzy – both a yard or two quicker and both much taller – would be very difficult to play on a what was now a quickly drying wicket.

In no time at all OS’s top order were back in the hutch, two caught behind (one off an impossible to deal with rearing ball from a good length from Shaun, the other playing an expansive drive from a super ball from Muzi). Then a fantastic moment. Crane, doing short leg, caught the dangerous Mellett Snr off the full face by staying low and demonstrating fantastic technique. 12-3 and the pitch looked lethal. It was a progression after that until Nichols and James shored things up.

Regular bowling changes followed to break up opposition rhythm and Doc and Lownsy both took wickets. Neither they nor Ewen could locate consistent length to make the bats play though and the skipper turned to Hill who rewarded him with the remarkable figures of 6-4-7-2. Considering that five came from one no ball this was fantastic bowling for the conditions. At the stumps, in-swinging Yorkers in the main, which did enough to break a stubborn eighth wicket partnership (Mellett B again displaying real fight with James), Hill was the pick of the change bowlers.

Shaun was brought back to finish things with overs running down and he removed Mellett B to end the match. This was not before some regrettable controversy occurred which had been brewing ever since Mellett Snr came out to umpire. A fellow that could start a fight, alone, in a phone box (see pic of Casa Mellett), he’d accused the Wick 1s, and Clark in particular, of cheating in the corresponding fixture last year. Knowing this, the Wick had been instructed not to talk to him at all when he batted and to keep as quiet as possible between deliveries as any incidental chat seemed to rile him. He batted reasonably well last year in a dogged rearguard and Clark wanted to ensure that he wasn’t wound up to do the same this time.

However this is the type that will come out to umpire in club games once he has no other role to play to make sure he’s still involved. It’s why you should always bring an umpire if you possibly can because they will probably not have two colt sons batting in the later overs and shouldn’t have an axe to grind. His petty involvement began by widing Dick unnecessarily. He then held back bowlers over fussily if anyone was talking as the bowler was reaching his mark. Here was a man seeking confrontation.

His opportunity eventually arose when Shaun unfortunately – as he had done a few times already to other bats – pitched one near his own toes and bounced it over the head of Mellett’s 13 year old son. It was unfortunate because the lad was not of great stature and this was a very difficult wicket now to keep the ball below bail height. Had we had Delboy in the side he would have been on at this point which would have taken all room for argument out. Unfortunately this short ball was delivered despite repeated and plaintive exhortations during the preceding twenty overs to all the Wick bowlers to try to pitch it up an extra yard to hit the stumps. There was no intent and everyone on the field knew it. Shaun himself was disappointed that he’d let such filth go and apologised immediately.

This prompted volleys of abuse from Mellett and threats to knock the bowler’s head off etc etc. At that point placatory words were said by the skipper to no avail as the tirade continued. Further attempts to pour oil on troubled waters failed between the overs as he then effectively accused the Wick of gamesmanship.

What an example to set the three Colts playing. One of them followed it and started dishing out verbals to the fielders, imagining that slights were being exchanged and this was the way to play cricket. Shamefully, not a single Old Sutt made the trip up the stairs to the bar for a pint afterwards and Mellett was the quickest out of the blocks since Ben Johnson won Gold in 6 or so seconds all those years ago and was surprised to find that he was more doped up on steroids than a champion bodybuilder. All pretty pathetic and frankly the victory was all the sweeter for it. Let us hope that the 2s can get out of this division so that we never have to play against this unfortunate again.

The game was played by all apart from him in good spirit and without edge until his interventions. But the 20 points fall to us on a weekend when Guildford City did us a favour and beat Merrow to leave us… 20 points ahead of the field. There’s a lot to be said for this victory. We won the game batting first on a difficult surface. We toughed it out to give ourselves the best of the conditions to bowl in. And we stuck to the task of winkling out a side that were never in the game and stopped going for it very early. And much better value for our match fees than doing it the other way around.

Collapso cricket sinks Guildford on cabbage patch

Guildford City vs HWRCC 2nd xi

Guildford won the toss and took to the field.

HWRCC 192-8 Sayce 50, Forbes 39, Soppitt 34

Guildford City 151 Soppitt 3-7, Ewen 3-36

Sayce, Lofting, Forbes, Fudge*, High, Clark+, Soppitt, Ewen, Greenwood, Hill, Lown

After every away game in the Fuller’s League this year the visitors are required to fill in a form. The form is an official record of the facilities visited. What happens with the data collected is not year clear. Perhaps, shortly, the Wick will receive a letter. It will tell us what we already know. That the outfield is a bit bumpy. That it keeps low at the Millennium Wood end. That deer dump on the grass. That we have excellent parking.

The forms marking Guildford City’s 2nd xi ground will be equally emphatic. Unfortunately the Old Guildfordians ground at which the 1s usually play was being used for a running event. All over Guildford slightly overweight females dressed in inappropriate lycra were dragging jiggly bits towards the ground, more in hope than expectation one surmised. Anyway, with the whole area under a sea of picnicking supporters and muffin tops, no cricket would be played there.

Which left your correspondent and his team mates to drive around Guildford, briefly stopping off to ask directions from a bemused Worplesdon and Burpham groundsman before arriving at something which resembled down town Bagdhad. Curated by Guildford Council this ground is a Barry Crocker bearing about as much resemblance to our own fecund pastures as, as Hamlet remarks of his dead father and his uncle, a Hyperion to a satyr. It was not the lush green meadow of the picture here...

Hyperion, Gentlemen, lest you forget, was one of the Titans. He was father to Helios, the Sun God. Shakespeare is suggesting that he was an all round good guy and someone to be looked up to. A satyr, on the other hand, is a grotesque creature, half-man and half-goat, symbolic of sexual promiscuity. A dirty sort of smelly thing, always rutting and probably, after rain, smelling rather grim. Shakespeare is not fond of satyrs. He is suggesting that a satyr is contemptible. The comparison, then, that he draws, is designed to tell us that the one is excellent, the other beneath contempt.

Which sounds harsh. But, like the Latvian Police, also fair. After a while the surroundings grow on you. But this is like the dangerous “office effect”. The office effect is a long observed phenomenon. It is where a perfectly ordinary member of the opposite sex joins a company and is immediately marked as a five of out of ten. Were the member a female she would be attractive, but largely unremarkable. Over time the individual’s personality, charisma and good eggness shine through and they unaccountably creep up to an unmerited eight out of ten. There is then a need for recalibration to bring people back to their senses because if a truly outstanding candidate were to join the company, with the scale so obviously out of whack there would be dangerous talk of tens or even, God forbid, elevens. And as everyone knows, there is no such thing as a ten out of ten.

Dear reader, I hope, despite these wanderings, that you are getting the picture. That, like a well directed telegram, the message has arrived. It was a stinker. The pitch was a patchwork of bare earth and closely mown tufts of grass. It was bereft of sightscreens. At one end we were lucky to have a half white mock something or other house behind the arm. At the other there was a children’s playground, and, gloriously, a dark red van belonging to Her Maj’s postal service. You couldn’t make it up. The pav was functional shall we say. There was no parking. All day dangerous looking locals walked dangerous looking dogs round the outfield. After Lingfield’s showers which, on weekends during the winter, might spit out icicles, Guildford’s were hot enough to cook lobsters humanely.

The pitch would play a decisive role in the game. Like an allrounder who boshes a quick fifty, pouches a couple of catches and takes four for, it was always involved. Whether producing a scuttler to bowl their unlucky opener for 49 before he took the game from us or in producing prodigious turn for their skipper’s offies or in putting doubt in the minds of nervous chasing batters it got involved in a big way. Every time you thought it had finished contributing it would stick its hand up or go through its bowling warm up motions in an exaggerated fashion to let you know it was there. Only seven batsmen made double figures.

Hmm. That’s almost 800 words without actually mentioning the game. Perhaps I had better get on with it. Fudgey lost the toss and, like Cilla Black belting out a catchphrase (Surprise, Surprise!) with the audience assisting, we were inserted. We were asked to watch Paul Sayce, on debut, and MS, bat. While MS looked untroubled he perished by edging one onto his stumps without playing as he has been known to. Forbes joined Sayce in the middle and a strange sense of calm descended on your humble scribe. As these two bats caressed and creamed the ball around the park it was very pleasant to be wearing the Dove, the Magenta and the Black. Class. Real class. Nothing belted, nothing smacked, nothing muscled all a joy to watch. Oh the off drives. Oh the glances. Oh oh oh oh oh. They put on almost 100 for the second wicket. Really, really good. Sayce perished eventually for 50, Forbes for 39. Both deserved more.

When Forbes played on too, echoing Lofting’s dismissal, Fudge, then High, then Clark displayed more lower order talent than middle order, collapsing, as they did, like the Hindenburg or R101 but without the loss of life. They went down in flames. Between them they managed to contribute 23 runs to the cause. It was left to Soppitt, once again, to mix aggressive shot making and aggressive running, to build us a defensible total. His 34 runs were invaluable. Doc swung baseball style at a couple to entertain us late on (loud Mooooooos were heard from the sidelines) and we took tea having declared on a useful (if slightly worrying) 191 from 50 overs.

And so to tea. Lloyd Grossman, that excitable foodie, would have struggled to find something to extend his vowels and consonants about. Welllllllllllllllll. Whooooooooooo’s in the kidchin todaaaayyy? There were no truly exciting ingredients. Lloyd gets excited by unusual ingredients. Ohhh. Kohlraaaaaaaabi. Mmmmmmm yesssss gooooooooooseberry. Fresh mushrooooooooooooms. Nope, there was nothing like this. Oh for a DBW tea. And it’s not often you see me write THAT! 6. No more, no less. 6. A D at A level. A pass, but not something you are going to rush home and tell your Mum and Dad about.

Guidlford were to be allowed 45 overs to overhaul us. And the way they set about the target it looked as if they intended to do it in 35 and get off home to watch some light entertainment on the box. My oh my did they play and miss to begin with. Goodness gracious did they try to leather the ball through mid off and miss. Crikey O’Reilly did they hit the ball hard when they connected. They put on lots for the first wicket. 70-ish. When four balls were bowled they despatched them. They could have charged postage and we wouldn’t have blinked. It was good batting. Clark grassed the only chance standing up to Krusty – a thickish edge that didn’t stick and looped to the floor. For a while it looked expensive.

While John Hill and Krusty bowled well, they will not come up against batting of this calibre every week. They will get away with more than they did another day. Ditto MS – who took the first wicket – the first of four great catches pouched by The Wick. Driving uppishly the very good Mohammed hit one towards Soppitt who managed to dive forwards and scoop one up inches from the turf at mid off before hanging on to it and doing a number of forward rolls. Genius and just the breakthrough we needed. Iqbal then smashed MS out of the attack – two huge consecutive sixes disappearing in the arc between long on and the stumps. He looked set to score big and take the game away from us.

With GCCC’s excitable wicket keeper at the other end things looked grim. GCCC passed 100 with only one wicket down. But the team hung in and an outrageous scuttler turned the tide to the Wick. Ewen, who had begun to get inside the head of both bats pitched one on a good length which pea-rolled. If it hadn’t crept through to bowl the bat, it would have been difficult to refuse as an LBW (note: none were given on Saturday despite some double and treble appealing by their keeper). The pitch helped us out – they must have been cursing the Council for putting them up on this rubbish.

All of a sudden things didn’t look quite so clever for GCCC. There was a sniff of fear about them. Early on, when the ball was disappearing to the boundary, there was some VERY cocky spectating going on. You would have thought they were 200-2 rather than 100-1. But now? Silence. Eerie. A very nervy looking No 4 came to the wicket. Scratched around and hoisted one of Ewen’s dobbers over Del’s shoulder. He pouched a second, excellent, catch. Quack. Mahmood, who had, as they say, given it the Barry McGuigan when we batted proceeded to let his team down by missing a straight one from Doc. Quack. Doc bowled excellently all day to return figures of 9-4-24-1. Control. Aggression. Subtle away swing. Really good.

The ‘keeper seemed to be Guildford’s last hope as panic set in. We mentioned this to him. Dick mentioned to him that his crossbatted style was unsuitable for the conditions. He ignored us (although clearly riled) and crossbatted a number of fours and a six. He seemed very pleased with himself. Right up until he slap / pulled the excellent Soppitt at shoulder height two yards to John Hill’s left. Hilly threw himself at the ball and held on to a quite stunning effort to remove him. And with his dismissal went all GCCC’s swagger and self belief. Rehman smacked one back at Dick who clung on to a one handed c&b. The skipper missed one from Del. Hussain was caught by Dom at full stretch over his head (goodness there was some fine catching) from another fine Del- ivery (see what I did there?). Aktar – not looking particularly proficient with the bat – called through his sluggish batting partner for a sharp single to Sayce. Saycey was having none of it and ran him out by so far that he wasn’t in the frame. Quack. A young player who hadn’t taken much part in the game then received the ball of the day from Lown who moved one away off the pitch to knock over the off stump. Quack. We had taken 9 wickets for approximately 40.

What a win! What a great game of cricket! To be so far behind the game and come back so emphatically. To stick at it and hang in there in the field when your cricketing brain said GCCC had it in the bag. Another win batting first. There cannot be enough superlatives to describe Del’s performance. 34 valuable runs to boost a meagre total. 4-1-7-3 with the ball. Two catches that turned the game around. He deservedly walks away with MOM. No TFC for this game as everyone turned up, everyone contributed something, everyone was part of a truly excellent team performance. Well done boys – it was an important one with others near the top of the table all winning. Let’s keep this level of performance going through June…

Something for the weekend...

With the 1s and 2s both playing Guildford City in the league this weekend it's a useful indicator of where HWRCC's two league teams have got to this year. Last year the 1s and 2s both clung on to record losing draws. While the 1s secured the Championship and confirmed an unbeaten season, the corresponding 2s fixture was played out in biting winds by a Guildford team which bore little resemblance to those that played the other 15 or so games that season. As we can see from this graphic, Guildford are strong enough to provide training at all levels, so The Wick should get a good game.

This weekend sees a strong 1s and experienced 2s pit themselves against City. The 1s line up with new finds MacArthur and Kamran in the side joined by Zammak (winner of the 2006 bowling prize) and Joey Ewen - on fire in a division where he doesn't need to hit the stumps to take wickets.

The 2s see a league debut for batsman Paul Sayce, further batting strength in the guise of Mike Forbes and a return to the side for Dick Ewen, making his way back to league cricket after serious injury in 2006. Dominic Lown, Derek Soppitt, The Doc and John Hill, all sporting ridiculous single figure averages, will all need to have the ball prized from their fingers.

And there's a 3s team out as well, facing up to Thames Ditton who play in the Fullers 3s league. This is extremely encouraging for the future of the club as many of the assembled are 2s players in disguise. And don't even ask about the unavailables...

Match Report - 3rdxi vs SR&K - by Wickman Junior

HWRCC 3rd XI v Southern Railway & Kenley 3rd XI (h) – Match Report

Team - Ewen R ©, Risman, Clough, Cameron, Wright, Hirsch, Lloyd, Copeland +, Iqbal, Nicholas, Walters, Moss.

SRK all out for 71, with Derek “You wouldn’t get pitches like this in South Africa” Nicholas taking 6 for very little. Jimmy C, Alex, Dick and Conner all sneaking a cheeky wicket each.

HWRCC 72-4; Lloydy not-out 37.

HWRCC cruises to comfortable victory as boys become men.

It’s not everyday you get to pit your cricketing prowess against Mike Tyson, George Foreman, and the three pesky kids from the Goonies, but Saturday May 20th was just such an occasion for HWRCC’s 3rd XI. To say that recently self-anointed Wickman junior (who still wonders who his father Wickman really is) has never seen anything like it before, would be akin to the reaction of Pete Townsend’s girlfriend on discovering the “pictures” folder of his PC.

While clearly not in Las Vegas on fight night Team Wick, led by Captain Dick were just as prepared as said fighters in boxing’s halcyon era, many of them having attended Fudgey’s 2s warm up and had a cheeky net. Having recovered from the initial shock of seeing the opposition, The Wick headed out onto the field (read: Hill) to bowl. With the outfield looking in need of a trim and some drastic rebalancing (for future reference, a pitch on a 45 degree angle means that it has “character” according to AJ),The Wick set about the task of tearing into the openers. Led by Derrick “I should be in the twos” Nicholas and Iqbal, the openers couldn’t buy a run.

With The Wick clearly on top in the field, Jimmy C decided to question the skipper's tactics in an unprecedented outburst. Cried Jimmy: “Why the #@% am I fielding here! We’re playing on a hill!

While Jimmy C and Dick exchanged verbals (think Ponting responding to big Dunc Fletch after being run out in Ashes ‘05), Derrick did not bat an eye lid. Taking 6 wickets in a blistering opening spell, we were soon into the tail.

It was at this point that the game ended as contest, if it hadn’t already. Out walked to the crease two pads and a helmet wearing what appeared to be an 11 year-old. Barely moving because of the weight of said gear, the young fella could only face a few deliveries before Derrick took out his middle peg.

With two further kids succumbing to Alex and Jimmy C, SRK ended on a difficult to defend 71 runs.

With a small target to chase, Wickman Junior could only see a comfortable win for HWRCC being the result. However, this confidence was ill-judged, as a nervy start of “hit or get out cricket” (right from the book of Shahid Afridi) left Wick on 11-3. The tea interval came at a welcome time for the boys.

After the tea break, Lloydy and Alex played watchfully to their opening bowlers (read: only bowlers) and only went after the loose deliveries. Lloydy batted like a younger version of Greame Hick and with the assistance of Alex, guided the 3s home to a comfortable victory.

Jimmy C later commented on the farcical ending, which saw one of the little blokes getting whacked for two fours in a row by Lloydy, as a “dark day for English cricket”. But then Jimmy C is a bit lively…

After the game, the opposition was invited for a couple of swift brews at Wick HQ. Sadly, given that it is illegal to sell booze to minors, this was unfortunately neither possible nor wise.

Yours in Wick,

Wickman Junior

Match Report - 3rdxi vs Thames Ditton - by Kirky

Thames Ditton's 3rds Ground and President Sissen

Editors's Note:

Wickman has received a number of communications this morning from 3rd xi players who are less than gruntled by Saturday's facilities. Gentlemen, the committee offers its apologies. If they had known Thames Ditton wanted to play boules on a cabbage patch they'd have secured another fixture elsewhere. The thought of Bobby, Dick and Mooro having to change in the open air is bringing a sort of smile to Wickman's face (although Wickman is trying not to think too hard about it) but Wickman appreciates that cricket should be more fun. Thank goodness for Kingsfield... In the meantime everyone should please be assured that the fixtures sec will be assessing not just availability of opposition but facilities also. What with the 3s playing on the Somme and the 2s not getting a game it hasn't been a great weekend. It's not easy...

Kirky's Report Follows:

Whilst I can’t claim to have any knowledge of cricket it seems there is usually a clear man of the match. A person who rises above their team-mates and the opposition to create the winning advantage. It may be argued Gilchrist's 150 may have sealed the world cup for Australia. In the case of HWRCC 3rd XI vs TDCC 3rd XI there was a clear leading wicket taker who stitched up, undid and cleaned up experienced and inexperienced batsmen alike.

This contestant wasn't a player but the wicket. It was a mixture of dust bowl, green patches and yellow tufts and the bounce was variable to say the least. Luckily the wicket wasn’t biased and took victims of both teams. My sympathies go out to Thames Ditton 3rd XI. It appears a lot of their home fixtures will take place at this ground. Not a particularly rough park but it had more Vicky Pollards than you could shake a stick at and it all takes place under the gaze of Surrey's business hub and architectural marvel the Tolworth Tower.

Things started badly when the groundsman failed to turn up and open the pavilion, we plugged on regardless. As with last week the 3rd XI was a mixed bag of experience, youth and variations in-between, it was also Merwin's Saturday debut for the Wick. Someone won the toss and the Wick went into bat.

The Wick top order was quickly undone by the randomiser wicket and before we knew it we were 70/7 and looking down the barrel of the gun. Those in the top order struggled to get into double figures. Perhaps the only person to escape the wicket was Derrick but Tom saw to that and triggered him. There were any number of excuses not to give LBW on this wicket but Tom wasn't feeling charitable. A quick cameo by yours truly brought three 4s and worryingly the top score. After trying slog a full toss and being caught at mid-off, Lloydy was brought to the crease. On a side note Lloydy's flatmate Cransey has recently invested in a fancy new cricket bat. If Lloydy was trying to make a point that you don't need an Uzi SPS to make runs he didn't mention it. He set about dispatching the bad balls of which there were generous amounts. Joined by Jimmy C they set about a match saving partnership. Eventually Jimmy was run out to a direct hit; the quick running stressed his hamstrings ruling him out from the bowling attack but his 29 was more than useful. Tom came and made a few before Bobby declared or whatever you do in timed matchs. This was very kind of Bobby as Lloydy was on 46 and in danger of buying jug. Wick 160/9 off 47 overs.

Tea looked promising but somehow TD had lost the plates. Not being a fastidious bunch we did without, it might explain why there was a fair amount of salad left over. 7/10

Tom and I opened the bowling. I took the wicket of an older fellow and Tom took one of a youngster who had a fine looking leave. This did mean he took one to the helmet a couple to the ribs. Leave at you own risk on this wicket. He eventually tried to cut one that moved in about a foot and kept low skittling him, a good wicket for Tom.

It appeared TD had learnt from our mistakes and were playing patiently. It was slow going as the 3 and 4 put on the runs. Merwin replaced Tom but had a tough time finding the line and length that saw him taking wickets in the nets. Bloomy was brought on to replace myself, though there was movement there was no guarantee it was going with the spin. Dick replaced Merwin and Derrick replaced Bloomy. Derrick’s first ball pitched short of a length and shot along at ankle height. His second pitched short of a length and shot three feet above the bats head. The second did exactly the same. This was the story of Derricks spell, the bat could expect the ball at head height or ankle and there was no discernable way to tell one ball from the other.

Eventually Dick and Derrick began to make inroads. Almost unbelievably there were three catches from Butterfingers Bobby and one caught by myself who has equally if not more buttery fingers. From being up the creek we had managed to turn the game around. It finished a winning draw for the Wick. Thames Ditton 141ish/9.

I think we can all agree a winning draw is more satisfying than a loosing one but when it boils down to the luck of the bounce it takes the shine off it. Credit to Lloydy and Jimmy surviving the randomiser, building any runs on the Alexandra Rec wicket is no mean feat.

3xi vs British Airways - a Clough and Crane production

BA 1st/2nd XI vs. HWRCC 3rd XI – Saturday 28th April

D Ewen, A Risman, D Clough, A Crane ©, P Sayce, I Taylorson, D Nicholas, T Robinson, Z Tughral Jr, Alex Walters +, K Laight

There was an initial scare when we arrived at the well maintained, if not noisy BA facilities when we saw “BA 2nd XI vs. Young Lions XI”. Having a team with an average age low enough for the Arsenal team to point and laugh, we thought this wasn’t an error in team name merely a reflection of our burning desire to get our first game of the season under way. Cranesy, having captained last about 4 years ago, unsurprisingly lost the toss and we were put into the field.

Ian opened the bowling and immediately found the spot, not giving the batsmen much room to manoeuvre, bowling with good speed. Derek from the other end was swinging it more than Ray Quin jacked up on Haribo. Alex behind the stumps, myself and Cranesy in the slips knew a wicket would come early doors if the opening bowling pair carried on like that and sure enough a swipe from a wider delivery gave Derek his first ever wicket in Hampton Wick colours when Dick Ewen collected a nice catch at gully. At this point they were scoring no more than 3.5 an over and we had them at a comfortable 25-1 after 8 overs.

Their number three was one of their 1st XI batsmen, no doubt about it. Anything short, anything not on the off stump, anything small, red, and kind of round got smacked for four. Kirky was on the wrong end of some fantastic shots. Tom Robinson, this season to be known as Juicy (Clough & Crane, 2007), was bowling good stuff on the spot, only to be given the same treatment. We found out soon enough that their number four was equally talented but inspirational captain Cransey picked up his vital wicket (albeit after his century) after a spell of tight bowling slowed their run rate. An attempted clip of the legs ended up in Ian’s safe hands.

After 30 odd overs the run rate we were looking to chase was in the region of 7 an over. And if it were not for some truly outstanding fielding from Paul, it would have been considerably worse. They had amassed a massive total of 244 after 38 overs and mercifully decided to declare.

The tea was distinctively average, and certainly not on a par with the facilities they’ve been provided with by the generous folk at BA. Paul asked Skip what the tactics were going to be after the batting order was read out, to which the all knowing Cransey announced “to score more runs than they did”. With genius like this it’s easy to see why after only on one season he’s made such at impact on the people at the Wick.

Dick and Rizzo opened the batting and had a solid start. They never really looked like troubling them, although they did manage to restrict us to only a few runs after 7 or so overs. Rizzo in an attempt to push the score along was unfortunate to be caught at deep mid off, which put me onto the field. Dick Ewen was dismissed not long after, leaving Cransey and myself in the crease. 26 runs later I was walking back with my head in my hands after swinging and missing a full toss which hit middle.

Cranesy was soon after cleared up by their leggie getting an inside edge onto the stumps, departing for a brisk 19. This left the two new boys Paul Sayce and Ian Taylorson at the crease. Paul followed his good work in the field with some wonderfully played shots including one (at least) sumptuous cover drive. With Ian backing him up well the score was moving on at a decent rate.

I forget how these two departed and on what scores exactly however I know Paul must have been around 30(?).

Along came another new boy Derek who looked to work the ball around and take advantage of any bad balls that came his way. Partnered with young Tom for a while who looked comfortable against both spin and seam.

Derek departed with around two overs to go looking to move the score along to a more respectable total. Bringing forth young Zohaak, clearly frustrated with his lowly appearance in the order he looked to prove a point but this point however lasted 2 balls as he slashed wildly and skied one to point.

Alex who had a good game behind the stumps came out with little more than an over to go hit a couple of strong shots, before doing something truly indescribable on the penultimate ball. Kirk came in played and missed and that was that. At least we were spared being all out.

Overall it was a good team effort against a stronger opposition, who were strengthened by their 1XI being called off. Particular mentions must go to Paul for manful efforts in the field stopping several powerfully struck shots in the covers, young Tom for bowling an excellent line and length though his overs, and finally Alex for a fine performance with the gloves.