3's Lose... Well it had to happen some time I guess

3rdXI Vs Old Tiffininans. Risman, Doddy, Lloyd, High, Cameron, Maloj, Caldwell +, Nicholls, Taylorson, Noor, Laight

Coming off the back of 3 straight (and some may say comfortable) wins, one would be forgiven for looking at this score card and saying “complacent”. But you would be wrong. My first mistake was telling people that Duncan had played a blinder with 77 runs and 4 wickets which prompted Fudgey to pipe up and say “ Perfect I need a number 7 next week Ithangyew!”.The next mistake was attempting to slide the highly rated colt Chris Madoc-Jones into my side which prompted Matty D so say ! “Are you sure!!” and my scribbling his name out.
The next heinous crime was that the IRB had rudely decided to play the Guinness premiership final on the same day as our game which instantly prompted Cranesy to go on a ticket hunt and join Dom on his birthday Leo Sayer. Couple this with opening bat Shyam Pushpanath coming down with measles and you have 120 runs missing from the previous week via Duncan and Crane and are an opener short. Following the steep learning curve that I cannot play cricket after an all night bender I took the opportunity to have a quiet one in front of Mario and Sonic Olympics and a Ruby. Perfect!

(Pop) Message from Charlie Fox
“Lloydy, lash tonight, exams finished getting on it”
“cricket match orrr”
“Don’t Worry I’ll get ruuuunnnsss”
Whatever

Toss won I decided to bat as the track was moist and were were fielding more of a bolwing side plus Charlie was looking like he had a night on the tramp juice (white lightening for those un accustomed to the nuances of stoodent beverages) and I thought sending him in early may have been the end of him.
Jimmy and Ian opened the bowling and tied up both ends for the first 3 overs before Ian managed to get their opener to sky one to mid wicket and into the buckets of Lloyd who waited an age for the thing to come down with snow on before catching it and putting it in his pocket. 4 for 1 off 4.
Good start.
Next over and still no more runs. In fact they got to 8 for 1 off 8 before Ian bowled the other opener. On came Muzzy and Maloj and snaffled for their first league overs of the season. Muzzy’s extra bounce accounting for the number 3 who was caught at gully by jimmy and then identical ball and catcher the next over to account for the dangerous number 5 and thennext over, Maloj took a fantastic C&B which he plucked from 2 strips across (god knows!). It was their number 5 that did the damage though, smashing first Kirk and then Keith for too many runs and accelerated their score to 130 odd before he fell and brought the innings to a close.

Teas were a reasonable 6 as a result of the cold sausages but only let down by the overly milky tea…. It’s a precise science don’t you know!
Doddy and Riso opened our innings and the former added to the clubs duck tax flashing at an out swinger (with the old ball?) in the 3rd over and sent the opposition into the kind of raptures usually reserved for service men returning from the battlefield. Lloyd joined Risman at the crease and seemed to be picking the ball well despite the short left armers both coming out of the trees, but fell for 6 playing across he line. The pain was increase when High who had picked his first few balls well had his middle stump uprooted as he did the same as the skipper. The wick were in trouble!

Cameron came to the crease and played selectively but well and he and Riso looked to be bringing the score along nicely before the latter holed out to mid off and brought new Wick keeper and debutant Alex Caldwell to the crease. Alex batted and kept with composure and experience which was in excess of his 15 years and it’s a shame he isn’t about much due to school.

The pressure was put on in a big way not least by Tiffs deciding to appeal for everything that either missed the edge or struck the pad, and by the constant chattering of the slip corden when we had been very quiet during their innings, which isn’t really in the spirit of the modern game. As time ticked on Cameron and Caldwell both fell caught and bowled respectively as did the chairman who spooned one to mid wicket. Frantic conversations were had between incoming batsmen and Lloydy and the draw was decided on as there was only 40 minutes left in the game.

Muzzy and Ian played with composure to see us to the last 10 minutes before Ian was cruely bowled by a grub hunter having seen the previous 2 whistle past his ears.

Last 7 minutes and Kirk and Muzzy were holding firm.
With 5 minutes on the clock, yet another appeal for caught behind was turned down by umpire Lloyd… funnily enough because there was no edge and that they appealed before the ball get near the bat, followed by an LBW shout, again turned down because Kirk was batting with a leg guard and the ball pitched outside off but boy were they grumpy!. Following this entertainment, I guess it should have been no surprise that the first ball of the next over struck the pad (again batting off leg stump) up they went. Their umpire used his good eye, moved the fastest he had all day and triggered Muzzy and bring about more over exuberant celebrations and hand slapping. A draw would have been a fair result we felt and to lose in such a manner left a bad taste with all the wick boys.
next week away to Merstham and hopefully better availability through the club should see a return to winning ways cos my corona just didn’t taste right!
Evenings festivities, Tun= lively Barcadia= even more lively
Duncan= vomming and the passing out on Cranesy’s sofa= Most lively!

3rdXI Vs Weybridge Vandals

Team: Risman, Pushpanath, Crane, High, Lloyd ©, Cameron, Copeland +,Kennedy, Taylorson, Nicholls, Ashmore

With the weather looking bleak to say the least you could be forgiven for thinking this game was to be a non event. However, whilst striding out to the middle for the coin toss it seemed both captains were keen to get a game in as it was decided that we would play through rain unless it started getting dangerous. So I promptly lost the toss for the second time in a row and having seen the damage our bowling attack did to Camberley the week previous we were put in to bat. Riso and new man Shyam looked comfortable from the off and put on an opening stand of 74 befor Shayam fell to a catch at point. The young lad sticking up a hand in hope more than expectation only to find the ball stuck and he celebrated like he had won the lottery. Riso followed shortly afterwards and brought Monkey boy to the crease to partner up Cransey in potentially explosive partnership. As it happened Monkey played a really nice innings full of composure and flair. Sadly Adam realised too soon that you need to leave the drive in the bag when playing on Kingsfield and holed out for a disappointing 6. Monkey and Lloydy put on a strong partnership of 74 for the 4th wicket and saw Monkey reach his maiden 3’s fifty with a number of huge 6’s. Lloydy tried his hardest to prove that you can drive on Kingsfield and was dropped twice on the way to 24 before playing round a straight one to bring Jimmy C to the crease. Jimmy played with his usual bottom handed finesse and ticked the runs along nicely. Monkey decided that his head had gone against their grenade chucker. Jimmy C disagreed. Monkey lost his middle stump next ball for 59. Told you he said. Duncan and the chubby chaser upped the run rate nicely over the last few overs till Jimbo top edged to the keeper and brought Harry in for the final few overs. 47 overs 215 on the board and Lloydy drew the innings to a close with Duncan on 37. Teas- Good with the foods of the world theme extended to some Italian cold cuts. Hot tea was unbelievably welcome. 8/10 With 20 overs being the magic number, the energy of recent weeks fielding performances continued and we found ourselves on top pretty quickly. Jimmy bowling down hill with pace and bounce threatened with everyball. A piece of captaining brilliance saw Duncan moved to 2nd slip and the next delivery drew the edge and nestled into his hands. 2 balls later and he has the number 3 LBW without scoring. Ian bowling uphill in his third over gets one to dip in and the bat gloved onto his own stumps to bring us to 3 for 4 off 5. Nice. Jimmy finished his spell with 4 wickets and Ian with 3, a comedy run out and a wicket for chairman nipps topped it off to win by 165 runs and send a happy Wick back to the bar with their supporters. Thanks go to Dave Ashmore whom I dragged from his bed to field for us and to Shyam for turning out to play on Friday night. Next week we are away to Wallington who were relegated from the Surrey Championship so should be more of a test. Fingers crossed for good availability up the club so we can field strong teams throughout.

HWRCC 3xi Vs Camberley cc 3xi (h) - Match Report by Lloydy

Risman, Crane, Doddy, Lloyd ©, Copeland +, Cameron, Robinson, Taylorson, Kennedy, Tong, Laight

As the proud captain of the Wick’s newest league side, it was with a degree of trepidation that we approached our first game in our new league. All the ingredients for a good days cricket were there: Weather - Check, 11 players - Check, Oppo - Check, Typical Wick pitch - Check. So all going well it seemed until I lost the toss. The oppo had a car missing and we were missing an Aussie (something about shrimp and barbies I dunno) so I helpfully suggested that we would be happy to field first with 10 to enable their remaining players to arrive.

Wick – 1 Camberly - 0

Kirky opened up with the new ball and bowled a lovely line and length that was instantly a challenge to the batsmen who struggled to get their head round the ball angling across and swinging in. At the other end we opened with new boy Graeme Tong. Text from Matty D mid week [He is rapid! Opening bowler Fact!!]. He wasn’t wrong and Tongy hit the mark immediately and took a wicket with his second ball. He and Kirky formed a formidable partnership, miserly on runs and always threatening to take wickets. At 3 for 3 (with only eight players present) Wick tails were firmly up and Camberly looked to be in a spot of bother.

After a spell of 9 overs for 4 wickets and having ripped through the upper order Tong was replaced by Taylorson who continued the demolition with his own run of 4 wickets from 7 overs for 10 runs, supported by Duncan at the other end who shipped in with a wicket off his 4 overs.

Camberly’s innings closed all out for 54 off 30.3 overs. Advantage Wick!

Teas- Interesting Asian fusion with Chicken Tikka [Good work Lloydy - like your use of the word fusion - Ed] but bread slightly dry so 6/10 [Hmmm. Perhaps you were through them so early that the bread was ever so slightly fresher - Ed]

The Wick innings was opened by Mssrs Risman and Crane – a formidable blend of composure and explosive power against the old ball. With the words “You have 75 overs to chase this score so don’t try and do it in the first 3 Cranesy!” they resisted temptation and I am pleased to say batted with control and common sense.

The score was brought up off just 10 overs without losing a wicket and allowed a satisfied team onto the terrace, Magners in hand to cheer on the 2s. An excellent team performance typified by first class fielding and bowling from all. We won’t win games by this kind of margin every week, but we have set ourselves a yardstick for measuring our bowling and fielding against and if we can get close to maintaining this form we will be a tough team to beat.

WICKWASH

[Image is obviously Tongs four for... - Ed]

Village Performance by Wick 2s

Banstead CC 2xi vs HWRCC 2xi
HWRCC won toss and batted
HWRCC 120 (Au 50+) Banstead 122-1

Walsh, Singh, Fudge*, Golborn, Clark+, Kennedy (JFK), Taylorson, Parkes, Junaid, Powell, Lown

Banstead. Five whole leagues above us. A club reeking with monies. Not one but two pavilions. Pavillion One an ancient beast totally beautiful with tiled roof. Drop down dead gorgeous viewed from square on across the pitch. Pav two where bar is more of a jury rigged pre-fab. A bright green oasis thingy in gruesomely grim suburban North Surrey. A cart track entry road that winds round rural fields. And then a cricket club worth visiting. A gem. Clarky happy.

The weather was set fair after a week of on off rain. Clarky happy. The deck was a new word – chewy. Brown in a bad way. Green in a bad way. The outfield was like glass… but glass that has been washed and tumbled on the beach. Smooth. Smooth but very sloowwwwwww.

Skipper Fudge decided to bat first on winning the toss, reasoning that we would grind out a competitive total over sixty or so overs of attritional cricket. How wrong he was. Moments after an encouraging fielding practice the entire game unravelled as last week’s oppo cancellation caused deep rifts.

Firstly Clarky had failed to pack the wand. Clarky unhappy. A slight hangover left him unable to distinguish between bat handles. He had only a cut down fielding training bat to play with. Like Harry Potter bereft he would be unable to create magic. Clarky had also omitted to pack a towel which similarly destroyed his ability to remain focused. In a final nod to poor planning he had failed to pack gum. This was not good. Clarky beside himself.

Similarly underprepared, Fudgey had only packed one pad. A lie in after free Coronas the night before had also left him short of preparation time meaning that he only had one boot ready for action. Walshy was reminded by Clarky that Duck Tax applied and was almost immediately undone by one that kept low in partnership with an umpire who was keen to assist Banstead’s start. £5 poorer and so briefly at the crease that Fudgey was forced into action attired like a Colt from a poor family Walsh was advised to seek £2.50 from Clarky and £2.50 from the umpire. Questions were asked of Fudgey by Banstead’s fielders keen to understand this sartorial nonchalance. Shortly afterwards he popped one that stuck in the pitch to midwicket. This saved Banstead’s close fielders from having to think up any more gags.

When Nathan walked across his stumps and lost his leg stick for not very many the Wick looked extremely village at 12-3. The deck was not blameless but those assembled had seen much worse not that far from Kingston Bridge. A couple of rusty shots which had not been worked out of the system the previous week following Old Stiff’s cancellation were largely responsible. Auborn and Clarky tried to rebuild and edged along for half an hour before Clarky middled one with his pad and was adjudged adjacent.

Duncan and Auborn then scored the majority of the Wick’s runs in a fifty or so partnership that was shared evenly between them. Duncan looked at ease despite a long lay off from willow-wielding. Goldy looked… well… like Goldy. Front foot defence – check. Late cut – check. Slap back over the bowler’s head – check. Fifty runs – check. Without his innings the Wick would have looked less like a Village side and more like a small rural settlement without a church. Hamlet.

When Duncan perished in the 20s, Taylorson briefly flourished attracting action from those on the boundary considering their fantasy line ups. Nick Parkes, on debut for the twos, scrapped valiantly. Junaid tried obdurate defence. Both were unpicked by a strike bowler who had been held back from the early skirmish when the Wick was busy self-destructing. Lownsy managed to preserve his average of infinity while others fell about him. 120 was at least 60 short of being defendable. A really rather poor display all in all.

Your food critic is inclined to treat teas more favourably this year. It is not inconceivable that an 8.5 or even 9 could be awarded in 2008 under the right circumstances. This, however, was not going to achieve those lofty heights. A plate of exotic biscuits ensured that it should be taken seriously. As did moist cake and buttered malt loaf. However, like a medium pacer unable to get seam or swing, in the sanwiches there was little variation.

Top marks can only really be attained by those seeking innovation in bread products coupled with biscuit arrays and cakage. It’s just not good enough to go for thin white sliced in every sandwich. Have they not heard of ciabattas, pittas, wholemeal, baps, bloomers etc? Harsh maybe, but that trinity must be observed. 7 is still a good mark, and probably excellent this early in the season, but it signals room for improvement. There was some amusing theatre as an opposition lad who would tip the scales at 18 stone or more started to strip the rice paper off the base of macaroon or similar. It looked to your correspondent to be too late for such half measures. Only stomach stapling or a wired jaw would have made any real difference.

The Wick’s performance in the field was a great improvement on the batting effort. With only 120 runs to play with we managed to keep a fairly relaxed Banstead out there for in excess of 30 overs with a fairly inexperienced attack. Powell looked good value once he had changed ends and dealt with a few issues with his run up. Lown was miserly but perhaps lacked penetration on a day when the ball didn’t zip around in the air. Junaid took the only wicket of the day, removing a debutant wicketkeeper who looked to have been sent in in an attempt to assess ability and temperament. On this showing he will perhaps not open the batting again...

The other opener was a classier bat than is provided for by Fullers opposition and he progressed to a sedate fifty and probably made sixty or more in the end without giving a cut and dried chance. He looked best when on-driving but was compact and unflashy. Utilitarian if you like. The fella who eschewed chewing the rice paper earlier clagged an aggressive thirty or so mostly hitting across the line. Early in his innings he offered two half chances as these shots went awry but once he found his range his natural muscularity allowed him to punish anything at all short. He hit a heavy ball...

Nick Parkes looked surprisingly composed with the ball given the savagery of the batting. He will take wickets this season. Duncan was treated harshly but does just enough with the ball that when tracks harden out with sunshine he will be a tricky proposition. Here the deck was just too slow. Taylorson was on the spot but was brought into the fray too late to affect the outcome. Walsh tossed up a couple at the death, but the corpse of the game had been pronounced earlier in the ambulance so there was little chance he would be able to revive the Wick’s fortunes.

Generally in the field the boys looked sharpish. There were positives to be taken from the run out for Powelly and Lownsy who needed the overs under their belts. Clarky picked up some practice taking grubbers standing up to the stumps. Fudgey hit the sticks from cover to hone in that lazer close fielding. Some new Austrian cellar related banter was essayed in the changing rooms. It was pretty funny. Some dubious rhyming slang was dusted off. The prospect of laptop scoring was discussed. It was decided that modern technology would certainly enliven scoring as you could view some Frankie Vaughan while sticking in the numbers. Lessons were learned about packing. Clarky will not leave his bat at home again. Gum will be purchased. Towels will be remembered. Fudge will also buy gum and will not walk out to bat again this year with odd pads and shoes.

That’s not to say that with better packing we would have beaten Banstead. Credit is due to them for a thoroughly professional performance which suggested they’d been practicing. Their bowlers found rhythm early on and attacked the right areas. They caught one or two very good catches. Their umpire was in excellent form for the LBW shouts too – he too was immaculately prepared right down to the manicure on his giving finger. The sun was out, the wind was light, there was a crowd of almost 50 people watching, the facilities were excellent for the time of year (although the David Gowers were not particularly appealing) and it was definitely cricket.

Congratulations to Golby for a typically obdurate batting performance in making 50. The other bats will not have such a poor day again this season and the Wick will not be village again. MOM Golby.

Net bunny - part time bowlers please apply

Net Bunny = Lloydy Wickman urges you to get to nets. Batsmen are vulnerable. Wickman actually took a net wicket last Thursday with a big swinging yorker.

Give it a couple of weeks and a gentle away swinger pitched up will be massacred along the floor and will probably bypass tender ankle bones by millimetres.

Right now if you can put it on the spot you are going to look like Curtley Ambrose.

Lloydy was taken apart. The Great Iqbal was unplayable. A wicketkeeper bowled Tun Up. Get down there now. Feel good about your season...

3rds vs Bank of England - by Wickman Jr

HWRCC 3xi v BANK OF ENGLAND

When Harry met Lloydy…

Hampton Wick 3s get second win on the spin to make mockery of non-league status

HWRCC – 135 for 6 (35 overs) – Alex (47 not out), Lloydy 30 + Bank of England – 89 all out – (Laight, and Iqbal taking 3 wickets a piece)

Do you remember in When Harry met Sally when Harry Burns opined about the problems of marriage and long-term relationships? (Stay with me on this… I’m about to draw a tenuous link)[Wickman is reading this very carefully and suspects the urine is being extracted, but carry on]. Well, for those of you who’ve only ever perused the “wrestle mania” and “adult” sections of your local Blockbuster Video (firstly, get some culture and secondly, be thankful you don’t have a woman) here’s what Harry had to say on the subject:

“Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone is in love and that is wonderful. But you gotta know that sooner or later you're gonna be screaming at each other about who's gonna get this dish (Harry points at plate). This eight dollar dish will cost you a thousand dollars in phone calls to the legal firm of That's Mine, This Is Yours.”

Ahh… such a doozy of a quote isn’t? Basically, summing up, Harry’s thinking, “yeah, I really like this bird I’m seeing at the moment, but just give it time and we’ll soon be fighting over last night’s pizza, and it will all end in tears. That’s the way relationships are”. (Just as a side point though, if you do have a penchant for “the larger lady” – and who among us doesn’t? - this WILL happen, FACT… and trust me you won’t be getting any of the pizza).

While it might not be immediately obvious as to what any of this has to do with cricket, if you think about the situation of Hampton Wick’s young star keeper – also named Harry (part of the tenuous link being drawn here, keep tight hold) – the connection is clear. Although Harry is by no means a slice of pizza, he is indeed a dish that everyone at the Wick will be fighting over in the next few months - FACT. The harmony that currently exists between the Club’s first, second and third xis will almost surely be strained after his brilliant performance behind the sticks against Bank of England on Saturday. Harry met Lloydy, and Lloydy liked what he saw.

The young colt single handedly saved 20-30 runs behind the stumps in a stellar performance, with some of the best glove work I’ve seen since I took a tour of the Kookaburra factory and saw them making wicket keeping gloves. Keep tight hold. Not only did he ensure that the Wick picked up their second win on the bounce (“we would be top the league… say we would be top the league…”) but also confirmed that when Fudgey meets Matty D, they will be fighting over just who will get first call on Harry when Garf and Clarky are away?

Indeed. Now to the match.

After last week’s heroics by Iqbal, the talk permeating the club all week was whether or not the boys could back it up against the Bank of England on Saturday (by “talk”, I mean, AJ saying to Matty D at nets: “Great win for the 3s on Saturday eh?”, Matty D: “yeah FACT – reckon they can back it up?”, AJ: “Don’t know mate – yeah why not”? MD: “Jimmy C’s good isn’t he?”, AJ: “Yeah, he’s lively as well!”… you get the gist). Following a couple of late inclusions into the squad, and a mysterious decision from the opposition to field in the wet having won the toss, the Wick went out to bat on what Doddy mused was a “bloody slow” track.

Led by openers Risman and Doddy, the Wick made a slow but confident start. However, with the pitch playing as invitingly as a (deleted, this is a family blog), it wasn’t long before they were both back in the hutch after some cavalier shots. Jimmy C joined them soon after following a ridiculous dance down the wicket, leaving the Wick at 4 for 30 after just 15 overs.

Thankfully, stability was soon restored as Lloydy and Alex arrived at the crease, helping to rescue the innings. Alex never looked troubled by their attack, pushing 2s and scoring boundaries at will, while Lloydy kept the runs ticking over at the other end with his usual, aggressive style. A partnership of 70 was quickly put together, helping the Wick to reach a respectable 135 at the close.

After the tea interval, and a great gee up from Lloydy, the boys took to the field in a buoyant mood. With “Direct” and Iqbal opening the attack, there was every reason to believe it could be a short afternoon. Direct, bowling with his usual pace and bounce was as probing as ever, while Iqbal got the ball to swing and dart all over the place, putting their batsmen under pressure from the off. It was little wonder then that their openers were back in the pavilion after only a few balls, both falling in quick succession.

Given the Wick’s good start and sensing an early finish, Doddy helped lighten the mood with a couple of horrible sledges about “banking” to unsettle the Bank of England batsmen. Listed by no means in order of popularity, Doddy came up with these gems:

“Make them play by ‘direct’ debit Des" “Good to see that our bowling is fixed and not variable” “this is gold standard stuff Wick” “send the next one down with interest”

Surprisingly Doddy’s oddball behaviour clearly rattled the batsmen. Direct and Iqbal managed to pick up another couple of wickets each, with Harry taking superb catches on both occasions. This, however, was only a small part of an amazing repertoire from Harry, who dived at everything and pulled off some amazing stops in the process. With the Bank now at 5 for 50, the game looked to be over as a contest.

With few remaining wickets on offer, Kirky and Jimmy C then came on to get into the act. Jimmy C couldn’t buy a wicket, despite constant appealing (Monty Panesar style) while Kirky, on the other hand, swinging the ball beautifully up the hill, picked up three wickets in quick succession, almost getting a cheeky hat-trick.

Thanks to Tommy Robinson and Ian T, the tail was quickly taken apart and the game was over. The Wick had bowled out Bank for under 90 runs with a brilliant bowling and fielding performance, led by the incomparable Harry behind the stumps.

In the team huddle after the win, Lloydy spoke eloquently about the “solid” performance. It’s two wins on the spin now for the Wick 3s, but can they make it three in a row? There’ll no doubt be talk at nets during the week, courtesy of AJ and Matty D, but don’t be surprised if there’s talk about which team is going to keep Harry.

Yours in Wick, Wickman Junior

Quiz Night

If you didn't make it to quiz night a week or so ago you missed a cracking evening. Del, Fudgey, Mackie and Tommy D combined with their better halfs to take the spoils. Hibby - pictured here in an outrageous waistcoat - played to Del's strong point with a round on cockernee rhyming slang although quite where he got some of his definitions from is open to some conjecture.

Goldy is pictured here trying to drag his team back into the contest with a valiant apple bobbing attempt and assembled Wick members and guests are pictured in the "Wickton Factor" round wearing as much cricket gear as they could find in 5 minutes. A cracking evening.

Many thanks to Dom, Tun-Up, Northern Nick D, Hibby and Clarky for organising and cooking. Look out for the next social at the end of June.

3rds vs Crossbats.... Match Rep by Wickman Jr

HWRCC 3RD XI vs CROSSBATS

TEAM – Lloydy (c), Jimmy C, Taylorson, Conner, Doddy, Sayce, Iqbal, Tommy, Kirky, Derrick.

HWRCC finish on 8-130; Paul “strokemaker” Sayce making a majestic 65 and Taylorson a cheeky 20.

CROSSBATS finish with 4-134, winning by 6 wickets.

Please welcome back into the fold….Ashley Giles

Hampton Wick Royal Cricket Club, Bushey Park, Hampton Wick, has been the setting for many special occasions over the last hundred odd years. It was the venue for the Queen’s first outdoor sojourn amongst the common folk (you might have to check that on wikipedia – Wickman Junior doesn’t have time for these trivialities), the place where actress Kierra Knightly turned up for a few cheeky beverages (and had her cheeks tested, if you take Joey’s word as read), and the first official sighting of Wickman, still revered as the doyen of the club. Jimmy C disputes this though…. “who is Wickman?”

But all of these events, while significant in the Club’s history, pale in comparison to what can only be described as the most surreal day ever witnessed at The Wick. For May 26th 2007 was the day that Mrs Cricket himself, Ashley Giles MBE (or OBE…again Wikipedia it), made a triumphant return to the game playing for the Crossbats. It was a privilege to say that we were there to witness such an august occasion.

Despite the doubts of HWRCC’s 3rd XI about the veracity of Ashley Giles’ appearance for the Crossbats, new captain “Lloydy” (“do you want me to tell you my average again?”) decided to get down to business and ignore the naysayers. Heading out to bat on a newly trimmed and refurbished outfield (Many thanks to Fudgey for taking heed of Wickman Junior’s comments on these pages last week), the Wick set about posting a solid total.

Led by the masterful Paul Sayce (“are you AJ in disguise?”) and “Direct” Derrick, we looked totally at ease with the opening bowlers. Pushing boundaries and singles at ease, the opening pair had already racked up 20 odd by the time Derrick (“the weather in this country is toilet – FACT”), got an unlucky top edge and was sent packing. And despite Doddy (“just back from Vegas”) and Lloydy going cheaply, we were still confident of posting a score.

But Ashley Giles didn’t just pick Hampton Wick for a “light-hearted” return to the game, and just be “a part” of the action. Not on your nelson. As Jimmy C strode purposely out to the wicket (despite recent knocks), “Gilo” had already found our weakness, and the game was as good as over as a contest. As Sayce skied another hook shot to the boundary, “Gilo” - just like he did from Ponting in the Second Ashes Test in Adelaide last year – dropped a sitter. It was just the spur the Crossbats needed.

With their Captain sighting this typical “Gilo” ineptitude on the boundary, Ashley was brought on to bowl his usual left arm pies. Game over. Whether it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things “Gilo”, like the master he is, tore through Jimmy C and the remaining batsmen – despite the brief resistance of Taylorson and Robinson. Managing only 130, the Wick had succumbed to Mrs Cricket. Welcome back to the game mate.

After a lovely tea interval and a few encouraging words from Clarky - “130 is defendable – FACT” – we took to the field. With one player short, Lloydy deputizing behind the stumps, and the rain becoming stronger, we were up against it from the get-go. “Gilo”, spurred on by Jimmy C’s taunts at first slip, punished our openers all over the park. Jimmy C is developing a reputation for stupid sledging (note: how long can you go before the saying “that’s probing Iqbal…good stuff” gets overused?)

“Direct” and “Iqbal”, although talented bowlers, could not match the quality of “Gilo” – it was a harsh but important lesson for the Wick. The pundits often say that “form is temporary and class is forever” and Gilo, the best thing to happen to cricket since Mark Ealham rolled his arm over, fits this description to a T.

Despite a few late wickets and a great catch by Jimmy C (the ball was a sponge at this point – FACT), the Crossbats coasted to victory. As “Gilo” walked off with bat in hand, acknowledging the crowd, Wickman Junior shed a cheeky tear. I have never considered “turning” for anyone in my life, but at 6.00 pm on May 26th 2007, it could easily have happened.

Best of luck for the future “Gilo”, and welcome back!

Wickman Junior

Match Report - 2ndxi vs Lingfield - by Clarky

Lingfield cc 2xi vs HWRCC 2nd xi

Lofting, Goldyou’reindestructible, Fudge*, Mackie (triggered), Clark+, Taylorson, Doddy, Soppitt, Nicholas, Laight, Lown

HWRCC 191-7 (50 overs) Fudge 41, Clark 38, Del Boy (36*)

Lingfield cc 124 all out (32.4) Krusty 5-42

Hampton Wick win by a nose as Lingfield turn up to the races

A different class of opposition pushed an eventually victorious Wick 2s hard this week. We had been reduced to 43-3 after 17 overs on a Victoria sponge of a wicket which was damper than Lindsey Lohan’s Jack and Danny. A partnership of 53 between Fudgey (41) and Clarky (38) rebuilt the innings before an 8th wicket unbroken partnership of 66 between Del Boy (36*) and Del Boy Direct (19*) gave us maximum batting points and enough runs to attack Lingfield. Lownsy took a well deserved Michelle and the points were ours. This was gritty, backs to the wall, stuff, and HWRCC justifiably retain their spot at the top of the league this morning.

It's a tribute to the strength of the club that we made four changes to the 11 this week - Debuts in the league for Nick Doddy and Derek Nicholas - and still came away with all 20.

Lingfield play at an ugly ground shared with a football club. The pavillion looks like a Nissen Hut and hides a scruffy interior and a particularly gruesome set of the coldest showers ever. The outfield was spoiled by big brown patches of bare earth where footballers had plied their trade over the winter. New nets aside Lingfield looks like a club that’s “rebuilding”.

They put out what looked like a very young, but talented, team. They looked good in the field pouncing on anything and whizzing the ball around – although perhaps they were short a bowler – and grounding three absolutely vital catches let down what was an impressive performance. Certainly it was difficult to pierce the ring early on as the pitch played very slowly and they took the pace off the ball to some effect.The first of the catches grassed reprieved Clarky when he had reached only 8. This cost them 30 runs. They later put down both Dels which cost them the 70 runs that pushed us to safety. Catches can win matches and putting them down yesterday cost Lingfield 20 points because their batting was good enough to overhaul a smaller total.

Lingfield won the toss and inserted. What a surprise... After Goldy and MS had watchfully established a base, their wickets fell quickly. They were joined by the unlucky Mackie who was adjudicated caught behind for 0 (quack) off thin air. Fudgey and Clarky then set themselves to bat time and mixed aggression against the short ball and bad ball with resolute defence. It wasn’t pretty – Clarky squirted nearly every run he made between 10 and 20 through first slip – and not off an open face – but it was effective. Some satisfying pull shots and hooks from both bats were emphatic. A cover drive from Clark was applauded. However neither went on and capitalised on the starts they had made on a pitch that was difficult to get “in” on.

A mini collapse saw us subside from 103-3 to 125-7. Doddy was particularly unlucky – beginning to play his muscular brand of cricket he was given out in one of Frank’s bolder leg before decisions which looked to most observers (including the opposition) to be sliding down leg like an attack of Delhi belly on a hiking holiday. We were in a bit of trouble at this point. One batting point in the bag was hardly the sort of haul we were looking for and 125 was not enough. Things looked worse as the two Dels found things difficult. The crucial drops intervened though and both got on with some positive batting. Lingfield ran out of bowling and suddenly the game changed. The unlucky Michael suddenly conceded 21 in three overs and a new bowler Powell had a Barry Crocker, leaking 36 in three including 16 off the last as Del went aerial. The skipper was happy to declare on 191 after 50, giving us 45 in reply.

Tea was not bad at all. Pickled onions were good news. Proper sizes mugs of tea. Those jam tart thingies. Lots of cakey things. Just half a point off DBW on mid season form. 6.5 out of ten.

However things took a poor turn at this point as oppo player Michael realised that his car had been stolen by thieving pikeys and we realised that MS had only escaped the same fate because he’d parked in full view of the pitch. A number of the boys lost keys and shrapnel – a useful if annoying reminder to put EVERYTHING in the valuables bag. The Police, of course, didn’t turn up – why bother? – and the oppo lost one player who was forced to go to the station to deal with them. It left a sour taste and ruined MS’s evening as he couldn’t leave the car for fear the thieves would return to drive it away.

Back on the pitch Lingfield made a good start, punishing anything short. Boundaries flowed. Game on. However Lownsy was in inspired form. The hot conditions assisted his prodigious inswing and the spongey deck made him pitch it up (they were good enough to pull and cut anything short). The dangerous looking Batty slapped a fuller ball to Mackie at point who clung on to a difficult chance. The other opener, Gradon, missed a yorker that swung prodigiously to bowl him through the gate (top bowling). The number 4, who looked like Andrew Symonds when he was growing his hair, mysteriously padded up to one that would have missed leg and off but not middle and we had them 29 for three from 23 for none.

A partnership developed between the useful looking Driscoll (useful looking apart from the cubic zirconium earring) and ‘keeper Gammon. But Krusty bowled the ball of the day – seaming away off the pitch to smash back the off stump – to rid us of Driscoll and MS bagged an LB to get rid of No 6. Del then threw up 5 overs of hand grenades to take 2 for 10 in combination with Clark behind the stumps. It remained for Kirky to take 1-12 and for Lownsy to finish the game with a final LBW, the unfortunate Michaels still dealing with Plod and unable to bat.

And that was that. Krusty’s impressive season with the ball continues unabated. He's currently averaging 7.5 in league cricket. Del (whose average is better than Lownsy's but doesn't yet qualify due to not taking quite enough wickets) backed up his all-rounder tag with runs this week – at the perfect pace and time – and got his name on the sixes league board too. Good runs for Fudgey and Clarky – neither of whom contributed much the previous week - showed that all the bats are more than capable of delivering at this level – even on a soft deck that was not easy to bat on. We should spare a word for opposition skipper Daw, who bowled 15 overs off the reel, cleverly taking the pace off, and deserved more than the wicket of MS to show for it.

Lownsy deservedly picked up MOM for his 5 for 42.

Good game Lingfield. Enjoyed it. Good luck with the rest of your first season in the Fullers.

HWRCC 2xi vs Wandgas 2xi - Match Report

HWRCC 2xi vs Wandgas 2xi (h) - Scorecard

Lofting, Tideswell, Fudge*, High, Clark +, Soppitt, Donnelly, Taylorson, Noor, Lown, Goodwin

Wandgas 92 all out Soppitt 5-0-5-11, Goodwin 13-6-1-13 HWRCC 93-4 Clark 29*, Lofting 25

HWRCC grind out excellent victory

Those of you with young children will be used to Scooby Doo. For the purists, only the older episodes will do. The original theme tune, no Scrappy Doo and a Daphne that stirred strange longings in even pre-pubescent young men (despite ginger hair) are a potent recipe even now.

In Scooby Doo, you will remember, 4 youths (the aforementioned Daphne, Fred – a strange cravat wearing graduate, a loser stoner called Shaggy and an ugly bowl headed “intelligent” one called Velma) and the eponymous dog Scooby who, unusually for a canine, can talk in short sentences, are driving around in a van. No one knows why. No one knows why anyone entertains them. What do they do in real life? How do they earn an income? What relationship do they have with each other? If they aren’t related, who is chaperoning Fred and Daphne?

Anyway. Threre’s a mystery each week that Fred and the team have to solve. Usually Shaggy and Scooby, both of whom must be constantly wrecked, have to eat halfway through the story. So it’s much like a game of Wick cricket. The mystery yesterday was what Wandgas had done with their 2s.

An obviously understrength Wandgas were inserted and soon found themselves approximately 6-2. Tommy D ripped out one of their openers who played no stroke to one that cut back and hit his off stump via his pad. Skipper Fudgey swooped on a quick single and threw down the stumps at the bowler’s end with a direct hit from an acute angle to dismiss the other. They were soon in even more trouble as Billy swung one back to remove Number 4 LBW. They had mustered 11-3.

A decent partnership for the fourth wicket made a game of it as the Number 3, Bash (no kidding) assembled 34 runs mostly through point and between the posted slips and the gully. Their No 5, Winslade, had an early altercation with Clarky – who employed a limited vocabulary in the exchange – and displayed the only really obvious batting technique on the day. However he came up against Ted Goodwin in majestic form. Ted bowled wicket to wicket stuff, occasionally beating both bats off the pitch, and conceding only 13 runs from 11 overs. That Ted only took one wicket – digging one in against the number three who tamely patted it back – was because he was simply too good and all the bats could do was pat him back up the pitch despite Fudgey setting them a field which encouraged them to pay through the V.

The Wick’s quick over rate and rapid changes of ends meant that 20 overs were bowled in the first hour and the game got away from Wandgas. When Delboy was introduced to the attack, as is usual the opposition’s eyes lit up like the quiz machine in the bar. A couple of muscular slogs resulted while Delboy found his line and then, in four overs of mayhem he took a five-for to destroy the Wandgas lower order.

His first removed the barnacle-like Winslade who had laboured for three quarters of an hour for 8. Attractive flight confused him and he yorked himself, the ball knocking back the middle stump. No 7 was not a batsman. He poked around for a couple of balls before edging behind to a grateful Clarky to give Del two wickets in his second over. No 6 perished bowled round his legs a la Shane Warne. No 8 was caught by the same fielder, Clarky’s arm telescoping out to snare a good catch like Inspector Gadget. No 9 also found a way to get bowled. Absolute carnage. Lownsy, last week’s man of the match and opening bowler, was tossed the cherry as fourth change and bowled their No 10 who was making no bones about the fact that he couldn’t bat. No 11 didn’t trouble the scorers, facing, as he did, no balls.

An absolutely ruthless performance in the field served up Wandgas on a plate. The only catches offered were accepted with glee. Fudgey’s run-out was phenomenal and killed their innings before it got going. All the bowlers put the ball on the spot, Ian Taylorson getting some encouraging movement through the air, with Ted and Delboy taking the lion’s share of the plaudits.

So back to the Scooby Doo metaphor. With half the episode in the bag, we were beginning to see a pattern emerging. This Wandgas team was an imposter! This correspondent believed that the No 11, of West Indian descent, must be a pacy fast bowler. Indeed not. He donned the leg-guards and some frankly brutally red keeper’s gloves and took up station behind the stumps. He was definitely in disguise, and very scary. Anything down the leg-side became byes – 1,2 or 4 – and throughout our innings extras kept the scoreboard ticking over nicely. Clarky began to suspect that it was the wicket-keeper who had done it…

MS and Nevil Tideswell (having a pleasant weekend down South) opened our account. The two openers were decentish, one bowling big induckers the other bowling wicket to wicket. Nev’s rustiness was exposed early and he was bowled by one of the aforementioned induckers. Fudgey replaced him and was undone by a good slip catch against the same bowler. Charlie was bowled by one from the other end which cut back off the pitch. So far not so good. The Wick subsided to 28-3.

However Clarky joined MS and together they set about the flagging openers both particularly brutal on anything short. The change bowlers were not of the class of the opening pair (again they were dressed up as cricketers but were probably in disguise) and MS began to enjoy himself against them one or two lofted shots into the leg side for four recalling his salad days. There were to be no further real alarms as both proceeded comfortably to twenty-something. MS did perish when one stopped on him and he lobbed it to cover, but that only brought a beaming Del to the wicket who assembled a rapid 8 runs to win the game and with it the coveted MOM.

The opposition packed their bags and left as soon as they possibly could. They had descended into bickering in the field and using choice language to refer to each other. This continued as they left the ground. The mystery of the missing cricket team was resolved later. Apparently many of their players are Chelsea supporters so they had gone to the FA Cup final. There were 8 changes from the previous week. Good. Thanks for the points. They will, at full strength, probably do us a favour by beating other teams in the league. Thanks for that too. Frankly boys, the disguises as cricketers didn’t quite work. With two players batting in white T-shirts, one donning a hooded top to field, you weren’t convincing…

DBW provided the Scooby snacks (7/10 – addition of pate sandwiches – unusual but much admired).

MOM Delboy pictured here with jug. TFC Tidy… pictured here with some new duck friends.

2s Match Report - vs Ewhurst

Ewhurst 2xi vs HWRCC 2xi

Fudge*, Clark +, Hibberd, Mackie, Lown, Crane, Taylorson, Hill, Donnelly, Soppitt, High

Ewhurst 76 All out John Hill 3-11 Dominic Lown 2-23 HWRCC 80-2 Mackie 31*

There was a point at approximately 11.30am on Saturday when Clarky was considering suicide. Having spent the morning ironing his jockstrap, refolding his socks and polishing the studs on his boots, the news that Ewhurst wanted to call the game off two hours before the scheduled start time was too much to bear.

The league rule book was consulted and the decision taken that we should at least turn up, have a look for ourselves and decide whether it was worth hanging around until the latest possible start time to see if we could get a game in.

A convoy was assembled. Cranesy, chav naved up, headed us off down the A3 via some gnarly traffic jams in Kingston. Go via Hampton Court next time Cranesy or... Anyway it then absolutely hosed down. There were ducks which took one look at the rain and decided they were better off indoors watching Grandstand. We reached Ewhurst, having undertaken what felt like a stage of the RAC Rally only to be surprised by an outfield which was playable and a square which, with a bit of luck, a strong cross breeze and no more rain, would be definitely playable by 2.30.

Spirits were raised. Playing at Ewhurst is a rare pleasure in the Fuller’s League. A village ground, complete with duck pond, cottages and houses bordering the boundary and a sleepy B road along which at one point a horse and trap made stately progress, is almost as attractive a proposition as our own Wick. Plus the refresments, with ham prepared by a local butcher only a day or so earlier, were of a standard which will be difficult to find again this year. The tea was strong enough to suit even those that like it the colour of Scooby Doo. 8/10.

To the cricket. The wicket had dried sufficiently by the start time to be reasonably one paced from the off. Tommy D and Dommy L opened up and grew into impressive rhythm. Their skipper, Greenaway, decided to hit the ball hard and straight and anything pitched up, went. The opening partnership had them rattling along at 5. Not the bright start to the season anticipated by seasoned Wickmen. However he was sawn off when Dom brought one back. There was, according to some observers, a hint of bat and it was evident that the decision was not well thought of. However, Tommy D removed the No 3 in the same fashion with a rapid Yorker which was much less debateable.

The other opener, Arrowsmith, was circumspect and only essayed attacking shots when the ball was pitched up or sufficiently wide of off stump for him to be certain it wasn’t coming back. This was the right approach in the circumstances and despite a slice of fortune when he was put down at point, he largely mastered the conditions to assemble Ewhurst’s top score of 27. Tommy D was replaced by John Hill for his first bowl for many months. However as the runs were drying up the pressure got to No 4 who skied an attempted pull back to Hill. John went on to take 3 wickets, bowling two more bats to enjoy a thoroughly satisfactory comeback game finishing with 7-3-11-3.

At the other end Dommy was turning in an excellent performance. As his line improved, so it became more and more difficult to get him away. Eventually slightly more lift saw No 5 shovel one up in the air in the direction of short leg, a sprightly Clark alert enough to make the ground to pouch the catch with little fuss but perhaps over-exuberant celebration. Dom finished with excellent figures of 12-3-23-2 easily picking up MOM.

Hibby eventually replaced Dom to allow him to recover from his exertions. An amount of loud chat ensued designed to convince the batsman that he was a spinner. Three fireballs later and the poor lad was back in the hutch, bowled, much bemused and muttering “I thought he was a spinner”. With little batting left, Arrowsmith sought to get after the bowling and took a number of strides down the wicket to attempt to smite, like an ancient warrior, the opposition into the wilderness. No smiting resulted though as he failed to connect. Clark gathered and removed the bails.

This brought to the wicket a cricketer so diminutive that he was batting with a size 4 bat and the stumps dwarfed him. Hibby tossed his last ball up and it was stoutly and robustly defended. John was unable to remove the No 9 at the other end so it was clear that to remove this junior Trevor Bailey, guile would needs be employed. Del was brought on, flighted a couple of beauties, and following some confusion and Matrix skills, Clark was able to stump a second victim. Ewhurst all out for 76 from approximately 40-2.

The performance in the field, perfectly marshalled by skipper Fudge, was, if not top drawer then certainly the next drawer down. Three catches were grassed – one a running effort that went to ground the second at the wicket off an under edge and the third by Cranesy leaping like a plate of smoked salmon to spill one over his shoulder. None was straightforward. Clark stood up for all but the opening balls from each bowler adding additional pressure and forcing the bats to remain rooted to the spot. He amused all by falling over in collecting a throw and demolishing the stumps to such an extent that they weren’t straight again in the game. Keanu Reeves eat your heart out.

Our reply was brisk and business like, the target achieved in 12.1 overs. Three sixes were hit, the best a pick up over the pavilion by Mackie that was effortless. Hibby and Cranesy perished “getting on with it” leaving Mackie to make the only sizeable score for the Wick – useful red ink improving his lifetime average a percentage point or two. High remained not out, one giant six over long off his major contribution. Clark was left padded up with nowhere to go for the second year running at Ewhurst. Ian T achieved an unfortunate TFC, Ewhurst running out of batting just before he was employed.

All in all a very positive start for the 2s under Fudgey this year. Job done, 20 points and back to the Wick to find the 1s had applied the coup de grace to their oppo to cement a Wickwash on the first weekend of the season. Some more time with the willow would perhaps have been of benefit, but, frankly, 20 points are 20 points.

3xi vs British Airways - a Clough and Crane production

BA 1st/2nd XI vs. HWRCC 3rd XI – Saturday 28th April

D Ewen, A Risman, D Clough, A Crane ©, P Sayce, I Taylorson, D Nicholas, T Robinson, Z Tughral Jr, Alex Walters +, K Laight

There was an initial scare when we arrived at the well maintained, if not noisy BA facilities when we saw “BA 2nd XI vs. Young Lions XI”. Having a team with an average age low enough for the Arsenal team to point and laugh, we thought this wasn’t an error in team name merely a reflection of our burning desire to get our first game of the season under way. Cranesy, having captained last about 4 years ago, unsurprisingly lost the toss and we were put into the field.

Ian opened the bowling and immediately found the spot, not giving the batsmen much room to manoeuvre, bowling with good speed. Derek from the other end was swinging it more than Ray Quin jacked up on Haribo. Alex behind the stumps, myself and Cranesy in the slips knew a wicket would come early doors if the opening bowling pair carried on like that and sure enough a swipe from a wider delivery gave Derek his first ever wicket in Hampton Wick colours when Dick Ewen collected a nice catch at gully. At this point they were scoring no more than 3.5 an over and we had them at a comfortable 25-1 after 8 overs.

Their number three was one of their 1st XI batsmen, no doubt about it. Anything short, anything not on the off stump, anything small, red, and kind of round got smacked for four. Kirky was on the wrong end of some fantastic shots. Tom Robinson, this season to be known as Juicy (Clough & Crane, 2007), was bowling good stuff on the spot, only to be given the same treatment. We found out soon enough that their number four was equally talented but inspirational captain Cransey picked up his vital wicket (albeit after his century) after a spell of tight bowling slowed their run rate. An attempted clip of the legs ended up in Ian’s safe hands.

After 30 odd overs the run rate we were looking to chase was in the region of 7 an over. And if it were not for some truly outstanding fielding from Paul, it would have been considerably worse. They had amassed a massive total of 244 after 38 overs and mercifully decided to declare.

The tea was distinctively average, and certainly not on a par with the facilities they’ve been provided with by the generous folk at BA. Paul asked Skip what the tactics were going to be after the batting order was read out, to which the all knowing Cransey announced “to score more runs than they did”. With genius like this it’s easy to see why after only on one season he’s made such at impact on the people at the Wick.

Dick and Rizzo opened the batting and had a solid start. They never really looked like troubling them, although they did manage to restrict us to only a few runs after 7 or so overs. Rizzo in an attempt to push the score along was unfortunate to be caught at deep mid off, which put me onto the field. Dick Ewen was dismissed not long after, leaving Cransey and myself in the crease. 26 runs later I was walking back with my head in my hands after swinging and missing a full toss which hit middle.

Cranesy was soon after cleared up by their leggie getting an inside edge onto the stumps, departing for a brisk 19. This left the two new boys Paul Sayce and Ian Taylorson at the crease. Paul followed his good work in the field with some wonderfully played shots including one (at least) sumptuous cover drive. With Ian backing him up well the score was moving on at a decent rate.

I forget how these two departed and on what scores exactly however I know Paul must have been around 30(?).

Along came another new boy Derek who looked to work the ball around and take advantage of any bad balls that came his way. Partnered with young Tom for a while who looked comfortable against both spin and seam.

Derek departed with around two overs to go looking to move the score along to a more respectable total. Bringing forth young Zohaak, clearly frustrated with his lowly appearance in the order he looked to prove a point but this point however lasted 2 balls as he slashed wildly and skied one to point.

Alex who had a good game behind the stumps came out with little more than an over to go hit a couple of strong shots, before doing something truly indescribable on the penultimate ball. Kirk came in played and missed and that was that. At least we were spared being all out.

Overall it was a good team effort against a stronger opposition, who were strengthened by their 1XI being called off. Particular mentions must go to Paul for manful efforts in the field stopping several powerfully struck shots in the covers, young Tom for bowling an excellent line and length though his overs, and finally Alex for a fine performance with the gloves.

Wick does Ditton double - Mackie's Match report

HWRCC Vs Thames Ditton

P Hibberd, R Cole, D Fudge*, K Razza, M Mackie+, C High, D Soppitt, A Crane, I Taylorson, T Donnelly, M NoorHWRCC – 191 a/o Razza 49, Hibberd 46, Fudge 46Thames Ditton CC – 87 a/o Donnelly 3-30, Razza 2-17, Cole 2-5

HWRCC win by 104 runs

With resident match report writers unavailable due to prior commitments, I have humbly taken on the role of journalist-in-chief for the season’s second fixture, an away trip to Thames Ditton. With 8 changes to last week’s victorious side, the match was a good test of the Wick’s new found depth of squad. It’s a new experience to have so many players keen to play at this early stage in the season.

Captain Fudge won the toss and we decided to bat on a track that seemed firm but had a couple of lively ridges, perfect for the odd popping ball here and there. In form Hibberd and kit man Cole opened up and looked assured, Hibberd’s aggressive approach complemented by the steadily built innings of Cole. Another opening partnership passed 50 within the first 10 overs and the Wick seemed set for another big score. Hibberd, who had played some beautiful shots, especially an elegant flick of the pads for six, looked as if he could make it two tons in two weeks, but alas, he was undone, running himself out for a decent and quick paced 46. Some believe he may have run himself out through guilt. Three balls previously he had skied one straight up, the keeper called it… then proceeded to miss the catch by a good two yards. Village (see earlier posts). The Thames Ditton attack, however, was proving anything but village, and delivered an excellent workout with the league season ever getting closer. Fudge strode to the wicket and began to build his innings, just as Coley, who was well set, larruped one straight to cover who took a decent catch, leaving the Wick two down. Fudgey and Kam picked the right balls to attack and to defend. A superb sweep from Fudgey, timed to perfection, was a joy to behold. Kam fell on 49 LBW to a decent enough Australian bowler who had been doing a bit throughout the innings. Fudge and Mackie started with some decent running, taking quick singles and twos, until this tactic led to the downfall of Fudge, run out with both batsmen in the same crease. At 173-3 off 34 overs, the Wick really should have pushed on. However, with the track not playing as well as the top four had made it look, and some horrible attempted heavy hitting, the Wick collapsed to 191 all out, the last 7 wickets falling for a measly 18 runs.

Confidence was high at tea that 191 was more than enough on this wicket and so it proved. Kam and Tommy D opened up with some excellent line and length with swing both ways. The two openers didn’t last long, Tommy D getting an LBW and Kam proving too quick to the left handed No 2 who popped one up to the grateful Crane, who through the catch had effectively ruled himself out of the TFC award. Their paid overseas player came in and looked decent, playing some excellently timed shots on both sides of the wicket. One shot too many was tried, a horrible, out of character cross batted swipe, resulting in Tommy D and the rest of the Wick celebrating, Hibby claiming the game was over at this point. Kam picked up another, caught behind by the makeshift keeper Mackie before claiming the fifth wicket, bowled. Tommy D got the big Aussie, Mellman taking a diving one handed catch after some intelligent bowling from Tommy D who sensed the charge and banged one in. At this point Tommy D and Kam had done their job and Muzzy and Ian were brought into the attack. After some cheeky mind games, Muzzy bowled the number 7 with one that kept low and did a bit off the seam. Struggling with his boots, Muzzy bowled a mix bag, some pearlers mixed in with a couple of rough ones, but it can all be forgiven in the first game of the season, and the potential is there for a successful season for Billy. Fudgey then threw down the stumps for his first ever direct hit run out and the practice and effort of the training drills was bearing fruit. Coley came on, bowled two bats in two balls and was unlucky with another, seemingly, quite plum LBW appeal. It was left to debutant Ian to pick up the final wicket, an edge through to Mackie to wrap up a comprehensive win for the Wick. A great game to be involved in, an excellent fielding and bowling display, great batting from the top four and enthusiasm and motivation at levels previously thought impossible. Mention must go to Kam who did a bit with both bat and ball, Tommy D who bowled his 9 overs superbly, Fudge for his captaincy and Ian who produced an extremely encouraging debut with some good tight bowling, committed fielding and good chat throughout.

must also mention Alison and Tom the colt and thank them for scoring. There’s nothing better than looking at one of Alison’s scorecards, except maybe if I had made more runs! Good to see various Wick members popping along to watch at various intervals, it is great to see and at this moment in time I am far too excited about this season to even manage to put it into decent prose. MOM - T.Donnelly for a fantastic opening spell of 9 overs, 3 – 30.

M Mackie - nb Mellman is the hypochondriac Giraffe from Madagascar. Some say Mackie, well, isn't as unwell as he thinks... cheers Mackie for this. What a game to miss!