Wednesday, 12 September 2007

It's Winter. So what do you do? HOWZAT 2

So you've mastered HOWZAT basic style.

But after a while situations where Willis B scores 8x6, 16x4 etc to make a career best 192* lead you to refine the rules somewhat.

As we know Willis is a charisma-free vortex that sucks the joy from television reporting. This evening Wickman saw him giving the mic to do the presentations at the Oval in the exciting Pro 40 game that guaranteed the Wurzel-lovers promotione...

Willis: Aaaaannnnnd let's welcome Justin Langer to the stage the winning CAPtin.
Langer: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiyaaaaaa. Like Zen mannnnnn. Oval duuuuuuuuuuude finally won something heeeeeeere...
Tresco: Listen man it's cool to be here. I need to get right back home tonight in case the wife thinks I am touring but its cool...
Willis: dribble dribble dribble bore bore bore annoying voice. looks like a tall old lady. stops talking
Langer: My Kung Fu skills got me through. Hiiiiiiiiiiiiyaaaaaa (stares with big eyes)

Giving up on this filth you change the rules on Howzat. On the first role if you get 1, 2, 3, 4, - or 6 you note it and then roll again. 1+1 is a single. 1 + anything else is a dot (Tests only). 2 + 2 = 2, 2+1 = 1. 2 + anything else is a block.

Now, when you roll - and then roll - again you are out. UNLESS, in 2007, you roll Run Out or Stumped. Then you can ask for a TV replay (odd out, even in). Very occasionally (if you have your favourite batsman at the crease such as D I Gower) you can appeal a catch too as the cheating oppo will have tried to claim one which might have been grassed.

This means scores are more realistic. However. You can revert to the original method if the oppo require 77 in the final innings. All of a sudden its a Bunsen, Underwood is bowling, and its so difficult to bat that he can get a wicket if it rolls a 3 or 5.

Or was Wickman taking it too seriously?

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