Match Report - 3rdxi vs SR&K - by Wickman Junior

HWRCC 3rd XI v Southern Railway & Kenley 3rd XI (h) – Match Report

Team - Ewen R ©, Risman, Clough, Cameron, Wright, Hirsch, Lloyd, Copeland +, Iqbal, Nicholas, Walters, Moss.

SRK all out for 71, with Derek “You wouldn’t get pitches like this in South Africa” Nicholas taking 6 for very little. Jimmy C, Alex, Dick and Conner all sneaking a cheeky wicket each.

HWRCC 72-4; Lloydy not-out 37.

HWRCC cruises to comfortable victory as boys become men.

It’s not everyday you get to pit your cricketing prowess against Mike Tyson, George Foreman, and the three pesky kids from the Goonies, but Saturday May 20th was just such an occasion for HWRCC’s 3rd XI. To say that recently self-anointed Wickman junior (who still wonders who his father Wickman really is) has never seen anything like it before, would be akin to the reaction of Pete Townsend’s girlfriend on discovering the “pictures” folder of his PC.

While clearly not in Las Vegas on fight night Team Wick, led by Captain Dick were just as prepared as said fighters in boxing’s halcyon era, many of them having attended Fudgey’s 2s warm up and had a cheeky net. Having recovered from the initial shock of seeing the opposition, The Wick headed out onto the field (read: Hill) to bowl. With the outfield looking in need of a trim and some drastic rebalancing (for future reference, a pitch on a 45 degree angle means that it has “character” according to AJ),The Wick set about the task of tearing into the openers. Led by Derrick “I should be in the twos” Nicholas and Iqbal, the openers couldn’t buy a run.

With The Wick clearly on top in the field, Jimmy C decided to question the skipper's tactics in an unprecedented outburst. Cried Jimmy: “Why the #@% am I fielding here! We’re playing on a hill!

While Jimmy C and Dick exchanged verbals (think Ponting responding to big Dunc Fletch after being run out in Ashes ‘05), Derrick did not bat an eye lid. Taking 6 wickets in a blistering opening spell, we were soon into the tail.

It was at this point that the game ended as contest, if it hadn’t already. Out walked to the crease two pads and a helmet wearing what appeared to be an 11 year-old. Barely moving because of the weight of said gear, the young fella could only face a few deliveries before Derrick took out his middle peg.

With two further kids succumbing to Alex and Jimmy C, SRK ended on a difficult to defend 71 runs.

With a small target to chase, Wickman Junior could only see a comfortable win for HWRCC being the result. However, this confidence was ill-judged, as a nervy start of “hit or get out cricket” (right from the book of Shahid Afridi) left Wick on 11-3. The tea interval came at a welcome time for the boys.

After the tea break, Lloydy and Alex played watchfully to their opening bowlers (read: only bowlers) and only went after the loose deliveries. Lloydy batted like a younger version of Greame Hick and with the assistance of Alex, guided the 3s home to a comfortable victory.

Jimmy C later commented on the farcical ending, which saw one of the little blokes getting whacked for two fours in a row by Lloydy, as a “dark day for English cricket”. But then Jimmy C is a bit lively…

After the game, the opposition was invited for a couple of swift brews at Wick HQ. Sadly, given that it is illegal to sell booze to minors, this was unfortunately neither possible nor wise.

Yours in Wick,

Wickman Junior