0900 - blog about going to Lords
0915 - take precautionary dump - no one likes the loos at Lords
1000 - attend local off licence, purchase bottle of champagne
1005 - hold arm horizontally to attract Hackney Carriage
1006 - engage cabbie in lively banter re cricket
1007 - ostentatiously take imaginary phone call when realise that cabby likes Chris Tavare
1010 - run out of fake things to say to imaginary caller
1011 - talk to cabby about football
1020 - arrive Lords
1027 - beat off over enthusiastic bag searchers
1031 - arrive seat
1032 - begin to get agitated about when decent to have first alcohol
1033 - start sweating due to 1032 issues
1034 - notice chap on the other side of the ground through binocs who has opened champagne
1035 - open champagne, careful to spill some on bloke in front who has brought noisy child
1036 - immediate response from grateful liver
1037 - engage fella to the right in conversation so as not to have to do it again during day
1040 - play
1041 - more champagne
1042 - more champagne
1043 - more champagne until
1200 - cleansing lager
Repeat 'til close of play
