1st xi vs Horley (a) Match Report by Matty D

Sat May 10, 1XI win by 60 runs against Horley.

Sayce, Cole, Davies, Raza, O'Mahoney, Mackie, Walsh, Ewen, Whinney, Ford, Iqbal.

May 10 was a truly wonderful day. The Sun was out, lots of skin was on show, and the Wick 1XI eventually showed why they should be challenging for promotion this season with a blistering performance in the field.

We arrived early at Horley, having trekked around South London, Surrey, Gatwick and then part of Sussex. The ground and pavillion is very pleasant at Horley, if a little ropey round the edges (quite literally in the case of the boundary rope). We'd had a bad experience there two years ago in the league cup so were keen to make a point.

No rain for a week and 27 degrees forecast, anyone winning toss with a decent bowling attack simply had to bat first. I duly did so, which seemed to surprise the Horley lot who appeared to feel differently. The track was white, if a little mossy, but essentially a hard deck and runsss were predicted.

Sayce and Cole opened up without alarm. The ball swung a little early on, and the bowling was controlled without being quick or overly threatening. Having caressed the ball around the off side a few times, Sayce fell to short cover with the score at 40. Cole then took over the run scoring, beginning to free his arms, before he tired and dollied a low full toss straight back at the bowler. 70-2.

Raza and O'Mahoney both joined Davies in mini partnerships that started well but ended abruptly. Both looked at ease, before being caught straight and bowled respectively. Davies was slow but untroubled at the other end, before he foolishly again got caught not committing to an attacking stroke. Mackie, whose hamstring and new spikes severly hindered his progress, looked completely out of sorts, and it wasn't a surprise when he gave another caught and bowled for a duck. Walsh got another lbw. Whether is was out or not, you gotta use your bat.

100-7.

Joey, Whinney, young Junaid and in particular Ford then took up the challange of getting the score to a defendable total. Joey used his long handle, Ford did likewise and Whinny nurdled it around. A score of 146 represented a below par batting performance, but the momentum achieved at the end of the innings gave impetus to the team, who were galvanised and ultra determined.

Teas - 4/10. A bit poor to be honest. Nothing original, although chicken nuggets are nice.

Joey had received a send off from the bowler when he was caught on the boundary. Rule 1 of cricket: dont anger a 6-7 left arm quickie. Ball 1 he came to the crease. 80%. Dot ball. Ball 2, he galloped to the crease, inswinging yorker, bowled, gone. Joey was past the batsman before he'd realised he was out. A perfect start that set the tone.

With an attcking field, in his next over, Joey promptly setup the #3. Give him a short and wide one (4), and then bowl it quicker at half volley and see if he middles that one. He didnt he nicked it, and O'Mahoney snaffled it by his ankles. Incidentally in two weeks of 'keeping Adam has not conceeded one bye.

Whinney then joined the party, the other opener lbw. Whinney pulled up lame with cramp after ball 5 of his 4th over. Kam finished the over. One ball. The skipper on strike. Out bowled. You couldnt script it better. Stories - just what cricket is all about.

At 44-4, Horley were struggling wickets wise, but were going a a fair lick thanks to the #4 who was smashing it around. One six off Joey was immense.

...........Fordy mate Fordy mate Fordy mate....

Enter David Ford, who with his usual precision, bowled just short of a length, let the ball and the pitch do the work, and nuggeted his way to 5 priceless wickets, including the crucial #4 who was forced into playing a non-boundary scoring shot and ended up lbw playing across the line.

The rest quickly fell as Horley were all out for 85 inside 20 overs.

A great performance in the field. MOM Ford for aggressive hitting and picking up 5 wickets.

Game on...

Sunday xi vs Ashtead (home) Match Report by Jimmy C

HWRCC – Jimmy C (Skip), Matty D, Mark, Harry, Junaid, Vaider, Duncan, Maloj, Del Boy, Sam Kemp, Lloydy

125-9 (Matty D 48, Del Boy 25)

ASHTEAD

67 all out (Junaid 5 /15 – lively!)

HWRCC won by 58 runs

If there was any doubt that pressure applied to someone in the right fashion can cause them to do something you want them to do (think water boarding, dripping a tap in a darkened room, blindfolded) you need look no further than this match report. It is a sad state of affairs when someone needs to be cajoled into writing about what they love and dream about every night (aside from the ‘larger set’), but that is precisely what has happened to yours truly.

Following threats from the 1st Team Captain and Wickman to get his proverbial arse into gear, which included removal from employment and…….actually, that pretty much did it, I caved in and penned the following match report of HWRCC Sunday XI vs Ashtead.

Like Josef Fritzl on holiday in Thailand while the kids are left at home, I simply can’t take leave of my responsibilities. So I’m sorry. There – I said it. I’ve learnt my lesson. And I can assure you that, unlike Fritzl, I will not leave you in the dark any longer over the success of the Sunday team.

And what success we had on Sunday May 4th 2008.

Following an almighty struggle to get 11 players to commit to a game (Geez boys, it’s not like cricket is a girl demanding a full term relationship…..Actually, it kind of is now that I think about it), Debut Wick Skipper Jimmy C led out the first Sunday team of the season against an Ashtead side which Lownsy described, in a more sober moment, as “good” (he’s a man of many words…..).

After promptly losing the toss (ominous start), the Wick were sent in to bat on a sticky wicket. With relatively little experience of captaining (read none), Jimmy C displayed a great deal of uncertainty as he put together his batting order. While Matty D was a certainty to open, it was very much a case of picking and hoping that the remaining players who said they could “bat a bit”, weren’t just pulling a fast one.

Aside from handy performances from Matty D (48), Del Boy (25), it turned out that the rest were pulling a fast one and couldn’t “bat a bit” (I include myself on that score). Although Ashtead bowled on the spot, with the right application and “experience” (I had it throw it in) we should have scored more than just the 125 runs we scraped together. Save the final efforts of Del and Junaid, we would have been looking at a much lower total.

Players go to the break. Tea – ats.

Pep talk time.

Quick to establish who was the boss out in the field, Jimmy C rallied the troops. “Talk it up” was his refrain (amongst other inaudible nonsense) as the boys got together in the huddle. He said that with the right pressure on the batsman and the right “talk”, we might just be able to nick a result.

That turned out to be a massive underestimate.

Taking the game by the thruff of the scroat, Jimmy C put himself and young Junaid in to open the bowling. While Jimmy managed to keep it consistent and the on the spot, young Iqbal let loose. Taking 5 for 15 in a blistering opening spell, Junaid took out the top order with ease. Line, length, nip, height, swing - his spell had everything which makes him worthy of the Wick.

Despite the terrific start and with the game very much in our corner, we appeared to be running out of bowling stocks. However, sensing his carpe diem moment, Skipper Jimmy C sent his trump “surprise card” into bowl.

Some say he is the chap who waited on us at last year’s end of season dinner. Del knows him as Maloj. But to everyone (read Jimmy C) out on the field last Sunday, he is now the new Anil Kumble of the Wick. With pace, spin, aggression, length and…wait for it… experience, Maloj bamboozled the batsman – much like Anil does. Welcome to the Wick my son. And while he didn’t pick up any wickets, it didn’t matter. He had made a statement. The batsmen were shocked and it was game over.

Vaider and Del then came into the attack and picked up the remaining wickets, leaving Ashtead with a miserly 67 runs at the close. It was a great day’s cricket and debut skipper Jimmy C was over the moon with the result.

First win of the season.

I can’t wait for next Sunday.

Net bunny - part time bowlers please apply

Net Bunny = Lloydy Wickman urges you to get to nets. Batsmen are vulnerable. Wickman actually took a net wicket last Thursday with a big swinging yorker.

Give it a couple of weeks and a gentle away swinger pitched up will be massacred along the floor and will probably bypass tender ankle bones by millimetres.

Right now if you can put it on the spot you are going to look like Curtley Ambrose.

Lloydy was taken apart. The Great Iqbal was unplayable. A wicketkeeper bowled Tun Up. Get down there now. Feel good about your season...

Match Report - 3rdxi vs SR&K - by Wickman Junior

HWRCC 3rd XI v Southern Railway & Kenley 3rd XI (h) – Match Report

Team - Ewen R ©, Risman, Clough, Cameron, Wright, Hirsch, Lloyd, Copeland +, Iqbal, Nicholas, Walters, Moss.

SRK all out for 71, with Derek “You wouldn’t get pitches like this in South Africa” Nicholas taking 6 for very little. Jimmy C, Alex, Dick and Conner all sneaking a cheeky wicket each.

HWRCC 72-4; Lloydy not-out 37.

HWRCC cruises to comfortable victory as boys become men.

It’s not everyday you get to pit your cricketing prowess against Mike Tyson, George Foreman, and the three pesky kids from the Goonies, but Saturday May 20th was just such an occasion for HWRCC’s 3rd XI. To say that recently self-anointed Wickman junior (who still wonders who his father Wickman really is) has never seen anything like it before, would be akin to the reaction of Pete Townsend’s girlfriend on discovering the “pictures” folder of his PC.

While clearly not in Las Vegas on fight night Team Wick, led by Captain Dick were just as prepared as said fighters in boxing’s halcyon era, many of them having attended Fudgey’s 2s warm up and had a cheeky net. Having recovered from the initial shock of seeing the opposition, The Wick headed out onto the field (read: Hill) to bowl. With the outfield looking in need of a trim and some drastic rebalancing (for future reference, a pitch on a 45 degree angle means that it has “character” according to AJ),The Wick set about the task of tearing into the openers. Led by Derrick “I should be in the twos” Nicholas and Iqbal, the openers couldn’t buy a run.

With The Wick clearly on top in the field, Jimmy C decided to question the skipper's tactics in an unprecedented outburst. Cried Jimmy: “Why the #@% am I fielding here! We’re playing on a hill!

While Jimmy C and Dick exchanged verbals (think Ponting responding to big Dunc Fletch after being run out in Ashes ‘05), Derrick did not bat an eye lid. Taking 6 wickets in a blistering opening spell, we were soon into the tail.

It was at this point that the game ended as contest, if it hadn’t already. Out walked to the crease two pads and a helmet wearing what appeared to be an 11 year-old. Barely moving because of the weight of said gear, the young fella could only face a few deliveries before Derrick took out his middle peg.

With two further kids succumbing to Alex and Jimmy C, SRK ended on a difficult to defend 71 runs.

With a small target to chase, Wickman Junior could only see a comfortable win for HWRCC being the result. However, this confidence was ill-judged, as a nervy start of “hit or get out cricket” (right from the book of Shahid Afridi) left Wick on 11-3. The tea interval came at a welcome time for the boys.

After the tea break, Lloydy and Alex played watchfully to their opening bowlers (read: only bowlers) and only went after the loose deliveries. Lloydy batted like a younger version of Greame Hick and with the assistance of Alex, guided the 3s home to a comfortable victory.

Jimmy C later commented on the farcical ending, which saw one of the little blokes getting whacked for two fours in a row by Lloydy, as a “dark day for English cricket”. But then Jimmy C is a bit lively…

After the game, the opposition was invited for a couple of swift brews at Wick HQ. Sadly, given that it is illegal to sell booze to minors, this was unfortunately neither possible nor wise.

Yours in Wick,

Wickman Junior

Matty's Sunday Report

May 20th, home ss Neapotists The Sunday team suffered its first defeat of the season, losing by 40 runs to a decent Nepotists xi. Having to chase 217 off 40 overs on a difficult track proved just beyond the young and inexperienced side who despite some impressive performances and some aggressive strokeplaying, were always playing catch up, and the result was a fair one. Skipper Davies was left with the invidious task of having to find 3 players at midday on the Sunday. He was buoyed by Copeland the greater who managed to find me Sam and Steve - two colts coaches, and a young 12-year old James Madoc-Jones - fresh from a red-inked 50 runs in the morning. Davies was confident, as always. The toss was a formality. We were going to field first whaever happened. I insisted. Young Iqbal, perhaps the keenest cricketer since Matt Goldbrush was a colt, opened up with Master Hibberd, who looked and smelt distinctly worse for wear following antics that shall remain guarded in secrecy the previous evening (being generous there in more ways than one). Nepotists took the attack to us and moved serenely along at 4s, the opener employing a strong bottom hand and using his feet to good effect. Davies followed Iqbal and bowled some tight lines mixed in with some lovely half trackers which were dispatched with aplomb. Steve followed Hibberd and bowled a similar mix. Copeland the greater came on with Marfleet and the spin twins slowed the rate, picking up a few crucial wickets. A Davies double then accounted for the middle order before their best player (clearly a bowling all rounnder of 1xi standard came to the wicket and played like a true batsman, driving through the off side with aplomb and ease. Copeland the younger was again excellent behind the sticks and the fielding was aggressive, especially from Young James Madock-Jones who despite his 4ft frame flew himself about like a salmon, and also has an impressive arm. In response some tight lines restricted the openers run-wise, before the pressure told on Sam who unfortunately ran out Lloyd. Such is cricket. Hibberd came to the crease but didnt last as the aforementioned antics appeared to have taken their toll. Sam then fell, dricing to cover leaving Davies and young Joe Hirsch to start clocking up some runs with the score at 28-3. Young Hirsch looked confident and played some lovely drives through the off side before falling to tight lines. James Madock-Jones played a similar innings, keen to hit the ball as oppsed to prod to meekly, he also timed the ball beautifully a number of times, finding gaps and enjoying himself. It soon became apparent however that the total was going to be too much and when Davies was joined by Marfleet that there were two games of cricket here. What should be done, and was was going to be done. Boundaries were the more appealing prospect, and a number of lofted striaght hits threatened to make the target achieveable, but when the aforementioned decent bat came on, who happened to be a decent medium fast bowler, it was clear that Neapotists were going to win. Copeland the lesser looked excellent against the quicky, despite his frequent conversations with me that he was sh*tting himself. Davies didnt care and employed the unleash on numerous occasions, keen to score boundaries rather than run 2s. The wick ended up on 180-odd, with Davies scoring 79. MOM goes to The Copelands, firstly for helping me out in an hour of need, and secondly for Harry's excellent keeping (Matrix) and brave batting in the face of 1XI sharp bowling - and a plethora of aussie chirp thrown in for good measure. Well played Neapotists, deserving winners.