HWRCC vs. KINGSTON – Sunday 11th May - Match Report by Jimmy C

HWRCC – 170/4 from 39 overs. Fudgey 48; Goldie 68 (MOM)

KINGSTON – 86/7 off 30-overs. Junaid 3 for very little; Kennedy and Vaider 2 a piece.

Wick achieves winning draw (read: win) against Kingston

They say that a week can be a long time in politics ("They" just do apparently… look it up). But I think the same can be said about, what I would consider being, the harshest and yet most rewarding of all mistresses… namely playing cricket for HWRCC.

After the initial struggles of putting out a 1st Sunday xi last week, Sunday skipper Jimmy C had the run of the club’s best and brightest for the home tie against Kingston on Sunday May 11th. Everyone wanted to play. In fact, so eager were people to play that apparently DBW considered revising his tea schedule to accommodate the extra players. It was that lively.

Jimmy C was overwhelmed by the volume of text messages / emails that came in during the week from players expressing a desire to be a part of the Wick’s newest regime.

Here’s a selection:

Fudgey: “Put me down for Sunday. I need runnnnsssss”. Ok, I will.

Whinney: “Are there any spaces left for Sunday? PE Man!!” For you mate, of course.

Del Boy: “I’m available” – Thanks, but can you play?

Unknown: “It was great to meet you last night. Fancy a drink next weekend?” – No. Piss off and gain 20 pounds. You know I prefer the larger set... I told you that

And so it went on...

Needless to say, Jimmy was thrilled by the squad of players on offer and could hardly wait for Sunday’s match to begin.

On the back of a strong bowling performance last Sunday, the Wick went into this game with a huge sense of confidence and belief (well I know I did). On a hard track that was already cutting up rough from Saturday’s action, Jimmy C won the toss and promptly decided to bat (much to the annoyance of the oppo). It was a hot day, Del was hungover, and none of the boys wanted to do much running in the afternoon sun – FACT. It was a simple decision really.

Golby and big Bobby Sisso opened the batting. Golby, keen to make up for a golden duck in Saturday’s game for the 2s, looked completely at ease out in the middle. With poise, experience and maturity beyond his years, Golby held off the two opening bowlers who were getting the ball to “do a bit” on the ridge, and managed to tick the scoring over nicely. Sisso was experience personified, bedecked in Wick jumper despite the heat (probably because of it) but found himself back in the hutch after only a few overs.

With Fudgey and Golby now at the crease, Kingston really stood no chance in getting back into this game. As the overs ticked by and the bowlers became increasingly tired, both players began launching into their shots. Fudgey, no doubt buoyed by Saturday’s win, played some magnificent long drives over the in field, while Golby played some of the sweetest cover drives you are ever likely to see. At the drinks break, we were only one wicket down, and on track for a solid score.

Not satisfied by the good start, Fudgey tried to pick the scoring rate up, however his exuberance soon got the better of him – holing out to a sort of short-long mid off for a valuable 48 runs. Golby, now joined by Kennedy at the crease, wasn’t fazed. He continued to pile on the runs and, with the later support of Del Boy and Jimmy C, managed to push the Wick to a declared 170 after 39 overs. He finished with a delightful, if not quite redeeming for Saturday's Fantasy Managers, 68 runs.

Teas – ats

After the break, the Wick set about the challenge of taking all 10 wickets. While the 80th birthday celebrations taking place at the club house proved to be some distraction, Jimmy C urged the boys to “$%£! focus” on the task at hand.

With Shaun Whinney debuuuuuing behind the stumps, Junaid and Jimmy C opened the bowling. Like the Sunday before, Junaid bowled out of his skin, quickly taking three wickets in what Sisso described post match as, wait for it, a “lively” opening spell. Jimmy, despite bowling well in conjunction, got nothing. ATS. With that in mind, young colt Nick Parkes, described as the “new Stuart Clark” of Hampton Wick by some, was brought into the attack. Although unlucky not to pick up a wicket, Parko teased Kingston batsmen with pace, nip, bounce, experience and, not to be outdone, fitness.

With the match heading for a dull draw, Jimmy C threw the ball to Duncan Kennedy in a surprise move. Rewarding his faith, big Duncs picked up two wickets in his first few overs, and left Kingston with an almighty struggle to stay in the game.

However, as time drew on, a draw seemed to be the only outcome of the match. While Jimmy rotated his strike force - Del, Hirchy and Vaider (who picked up two wickets) all had a trundle – the game ended in a winning draw. Kingston didn’t look like they wanted it at all, and looked knackered to be honest.

While it was annoying for the skipper not to pick up another win, the Sunday team is still undefeated for 2008. It was a good way to end a great Wick Wash weekend. After the match, Bobby was in fine form, and let loose with some of the funniest anecdotes about cricket and the Wick I’ve ever heard.

So what will be in store for next weekend? Who knows - but like a midget at a urinal, I’m gonna have to stay on my toes. [Here's a urinal which will help you to relax - Ed]

Village Performance by Wick 2s

Banstead CC 2xi vs HWRCC 2xi
HWRCC won toss and batted
HWRCC 120 (Au 50+) Banstead 122-1

Walsh, Singh, Fudge*, Golborn, Clark+, Kennedy (JFK), Taylorson, Parkes, Junaid, Powell, Lown

Banstead. Five whole leagues above us. A club reeking with monies. Not one but two pavilions. Pavillion One an ancient beast totally beautiful with tiled roof. Drop down dead gorgeous viewed from square on across the pitch. Pav two where bar is more of a jury rigged pre-fab. A bright green oasis thingy in gruesomely grim suburban North Surrey. A cart track entry road that winds round rural fields. And then a cricket club worth visiting. A gem. Clarky happy.

The weather was set fair after a week of on off rain. Clarky happy. The deck was a new word – chewy. Brown in a bad way. Green in a bad way. The outfield was like glass… but glass that has been washed and tumbled on the beach. Smooth. Smooth but very sloowwwwwww.

Skipper Fudge decided to bat first on winning the toss, reasoning that we would grind out a competitive total over sixty or so overs of attritional cricket. How wrong he was. Moments after an encouraging fielding practice the entire game unravelled as last week’s oppo cancellation caused deep rifts.

Firstly Clarky had failed to pack the wand. Clarky unhappy. A slight hangover left him unable to distinguish between bat handles. He had only a cut down fielding training bat to play with. Like Harry Potter bereft he would be unable to create magic. Clarky had also omitted to pack a towel which similarly destroyed his ability to remain focused. In a final nod to poor planning he had failed to pack gum. This was not good. Clarky beside himself.

Similarly underprepared, Fudgey had only packed one pad. A lie in after free Coronas the night before had also left him short of preparation time meaning that he only had one boot ready for action. Walshy was reminded by Clarky that Duck Tax applied and was almost immediately undone by one that kept low in partnership with an umpire who was keen to assist Banstead’s start. £5 poorer and so briefly at the crease that Fudgey was forced into action attired like a Colt from a poor family Walsh was advised to seek £2.50 from Clarky and £2.50 from the umpire. Questions were asked of Fudgey by Banstead’s fielders keen to understand this sartorial nonchalance. Shortly afterwards he popped one that stuck in the pitch to midwicket. This saved Banstead’s close fielders from having to think up any more gags.

When Nathan walked across his stumps and lost his leg stick for not very many the Wick looked extremely village at 12-3. The deck was not blameless but those assembled had seen much worse not that far from Kingston Bridge. A couple of rusty shots which had not been worked out of the system the previous week following Old Stiff’s cancellation were largely responsible. Auborn and Clarky tried to rebuild and edged along for half an hour before Clarky middled one with his pad and was adjudged adjacent.

Duncan and Auborn then scored the majority of the Wick’s runs in a fifty or so partnership that was shared evenly between them. Duncan looked at ease despite a long lay off from willow-wielding. Goldy looked… well… like Goldy. Front foot defence – check. Late cut – check. Slap back over the bowler’s head – check. Fifty runs – check. Without his innings the Wick would have looked less like a Village side and more like a small rural settlement without a church. Hamlet.

When Duncan perished in the 20s, Taylorson briefly flourished attracting action from those on the boundary considering their fantasy line ups. Nick Parkes, on debut for the twos, scrapped valiantly. Junaid tried obdurate defence. Both were unpicked by a strike bowler who had been held back from the early skirmish when the Wick was busy self-destructing. Lownsy managed to preserve his average of infinity while others fell about him. 120 was at least 60 short of being defendable. A really rather poor display all in all.

Your food critic is inclined to treat teas more favourably this year. It is not inconceivable that an 8.5 or even 9 could be awarded in 2008 under the right circumstances. This, however, was not going to achieve those lofty heights. A plate of exotic biscuits ensured that it should be taken seriously. As did moist cake and buttered malt loaf. However, like a medium pacer unable to get seam or swing, in the sanwiches there was little variation.

Top marks can only really be attained by those seeking innovation in bread products coupled with biscuit arrays and cakage. It’s just not good enough to go for thin white sliced in every sandwich. Have they not heard of ciabattas, pittas, wholemeal, baps, bloomers etc? Harsh maybe, but that trinity must be observed. 7 is still a good mark, and probably excellent this early in the season, but it signals room for improvement. There was some amusing theatre as an opposition lad who would tip the scales at 18 stone or more started to strip the rice paper off the base of macaroon or similar. It looked to your correspondent to be too late for such half measures. Only stomach stapling or a wired jaw would have made any real difference.

The Wick’s performance in the field was a great improvement on the batting effort. With only 120 runs to play with we managed to keep a fairly relaxed Banstead out there for in excess of 30 overs with a fairly inexperienced attack. Powell looked good value once he had changed ends and dealt with a few issues with his run up. Lown was miserly but perhaps lacked penetration on a day when the ball didn’t zip around in the air. Junaid took the only wicket of the day, removing a debutant wicketkeeper who looked to have been sent in in an attempt to assess ability and temperament. On this showing he will perhaps not open the batting again...

The other opener was a classier bat than is provided for by Fullers opposition and he progressed to a sedate fifty and probably made sixty or more in the end without giving a cut and dried chance. He looked best when on-driving but was compact and unflashy. Utilitarian if you like. The fella who eschewed chewing the rice paper earlier clagged an aggressive thirty or so mostly hitting across the line. Early in his innings he offered two half chances as these shots went awry but once he found his range his natural muscularity allowed him to punish anything at all short. He hit a heavy ball...

Nick Parkes looked surprisingly composed with the ball given the savagery of the batting. He will take wickets this season. Duncan was treated harshly but does just enough with the ball that when tracks harden out with sunshine he will be a tricky proposition. Here the deck was just too slow. Taylorson was on the spot but was brought into the fray too late to affect the outcome. Walsh tossed up a couple at the death, but the corpse of the game had been pronounced earlier in the ambulance so there was little chance he would be able to revive the Wick’s fortunes.

Generally in the field the boys looked sharpish. There were positives to be taken from the run out for Powelly and Lownsy who needed the overs under their belts. Clarky picked up some practice taking grubbers standing up to the stumps. Fudgey hit the sticks from cover to hone in that lazer close fielding. Some new Austrian cellar related banter was essayed in the changing rooms. It was pretty funny. Some dubious rhyming slang was dusted off. The prospect of laptop scoring was discussed. It was decided that modern technology would certainly enliven scoring as you could view some Frankie Vaughan while sticking in the numbers. Lessons were learned about packing. Clarky will not leave his bat at home again. Gum will be purchased. Towels will be remembered. Fudge will also buy gum and will not walk out to bat again this year with odd pads and shoes.

That’s not to say that with better packing we would have beaten Banstead. Credit is due to them for a thoroughly professional performance which suggested they’d been practicing. Their bowlers found rhythm early on and attacked the right areas. They caught one or two very good catches. Their umpire was in excellent form for the LBW shouts too – he too was immaculately prepared right down to the manicure on his giving finger. The sun was out, the wind was light, there was a crowd of almost 50 people watching, the facilities were excellent for the time of year (although the David Gowers were not particularly appealing) and it was definitely cricket.

Congratulations to Golby for a typically obdurate batting performance in making 50. The other bats will not have such a poor day again this season and the Wick will not be village again. MOM Golby.

Match Report by Matty D - 1s vs Deando Ruxley

The 1XI started 2008 with a victory against Deando Ruxley.

Our team included the returning Raza, the debutants Hooper and Walsh, and the promotion of Junaid following the late cancellation of the 2xi fixture (and the now traditional pre-season injury to Mackie).

Deando Ruxley is a pleasant ground in Ewell adjacent to a LA Fitness complex, meaning there were always people around. The ground itself is large with two cricket squares. The ground was lush and greener than Alan Titchmarsh. The pitch reflected this. Recently relaid they were reluctant to take too much grass off, especially early season, so it was destined to be a slow track. And it proved to be the case.

Losing the toss, the Wick were inserted, with Fullers League rules being the order of the day. Sayce and Cole put on an excellent opening partnership of near 50, although with the outfield as slow as it was, it was worth another 25 on top of that. No boundaries were scored, but lots of 2s were run!

Sayce fell. Bowled. He was quickly followed by Hooper, who found it difficult to adjust from Joey at The Oval to slow dobbers at Deando. Raza, who literally hadn't picked up a bat since 2007, came out all guns and middled it from ball one. He fell soon enough however, middling one straight to mid off. Cole, probably bored, skied one and the Wick were stuttering slightly at 65-4.

O'Mahoney and the debutant Walsh patiently nurdled their way to another important 50 partnership, O'Mahoney taking the lead with an impressive 50 making scoring look much easier than anyone else all day. With the score at 140-odd, Davies and Ewen came to the crease. Davies ran himself out trying to do a Mackie, whilst Ewen decided to bring the long handle out and found a maximum straight.

The Wick 168-7 declared off 47.5

Teas. Simple sandwiches, but lovely soft bread and additionals of pate, home made chocolate treats and the ol' scotch egg/pork pie combo. No complaints, other than the squash which was weak. 6/10.

The aim was to give batsmen time in the middle, and bowlers overs under their belt. Ewen opened up, and after waiting 30 overs for the first Wick boundary... Deando managed one off ball one. Joey and Ted Goodwin's opening overs each were expensive, with the plucky Africaans speaking opener happy to bludgeon everything Gilchrist style. However, Ewen proved too strong and nailed him lbw pretty soon afterwards, before nailing the #3 in the same over with a banana of a fast inswinger. Goodwin followed this with an lbw, leaving Deando struggling at 25-3. Always on top of things thereafter, the Wick rotated the bowling to give everyone overs. Ford proved again he is lethal on such tracks, nagging his way to 4 wickets, two of which were expertly caught by O'Mahoney standing up.

Special mention to Junaid who picked up a wicket on debut, bowling 4 excellent overs of controlled medium pace. His bowling was calmer and more mature than his indoor pre-season performances had been, which bodes well for the future.

Ewen returned toward the end to help Ford mop up the tail, and Deando were all out for 100 off 40 overs.

All in all, a good performance and a good way to start the year. The habit of winning is something the side needs to continue next week, when Godalming will prove to be a tougher test.

Individually, the returning Raza and Hooper will need to adjust to English slow green tops if their performances are to match their talent - but that will come. Ewen and Ford again bowled their usual tight stuff, and found reward picking up wickets each.

Cole and Sayce provided a solid platform from which the team could build a good total.

Walsh on debut showed himself to be light on his feet and also that he has a good cricket brain, contributing to a match winning partnership.

MOM was O'Mahoney. The outstanding batsman on the day, shown by both ability and runs. He also kept superbly, taking catches, keeping up the chat, and conceeding no byes.

Everything bodes well

3rds vs Bank of England - by Wickman Jr

HWRCC 3xi v BANK OF ENGLAND

When Harry met Lloydy…

Hampton Wick 3s get second win on the spin to make mockery of non-league status

HWRCC – 135 for 6 (35 overs) – Alex (47 not out), Lloydy 30 + Bank of England – 89 all out – (Laight, and Iqbal taking 3 wickets a piece)

Do you remember in When Harry met Sally when Harry Burns opined about the problems of marriage and long-term relationships? (Stay with me on this… I’m about to draw a tenuous link)[Wickman is reading this very carefully and suspects the urine is being extracted, but carry on]. Well, for those of you who’ve only ever perused the “wrestle mania” and “adult” sections of your local Blockbuster Video (firstly, get some culture and secondly, be thankful you don’t have a woman) here’s what Harry had to say on the subject:

“Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone is in love and that is wonderful. But you gotta know that sooner or later you're gonna be screaming at each other about who's gonna get this dish (Harry points at plate). This eight dollar dish will cost you a thousand dollars in phone calls to the legal firm of That's Mine, This Is Yours.”

Ahh… such a doozy of a quote isn’t? Basically, summing up, Harry’s thinking, “yeah, I really like this bird I’m seeing at the moment, but just give it time and we’ll soon be fighting over last night’s pizza, and it will all end in tears. That’s the way relationships are”. (Just as a side point though, if you do have a penchant for “the larger lady” – and who among us doesn’t? - this WILL happen, FACT… and trust me you won’t be getting any of the pizza).

While it might not be immediately obvious as to what any of this has to do with cricket, if you think about the situation of Hampton Wick’s young star keeper – also named Harry (part of the tenuous link being drawn here, keep tight hold) – the connection is clear. Although Harry is by no means a slice of pizza, he is indeed a dish that everyone at the Wick will be fighting over in the next few months - FACT. The harmony that currently exists between the Club’s first, second and third xis will almost surely be strained after his brilliant performance behind the sticks against Bank of England on Saturday. Harry met Lloydy, and Lloydy liked what he saw.

The young colt single handedly saved 20-30 runs behind the stumps in a stellar performance, with some of the best glove work I’ve seen since I took a tour of the Kookaburra factory and saw them making wicket keeping gloves. Keep tight hold. Not only did he ensure that the Wick picked up their second win on the bounce (“we would be top the league… say we would be top the league…”) but also confirmed that when Fudgey meets Matty D, they will be fighting over just who will get first call on Harry when Garf and Clarky are away?

Indeed. Now to the match.

After last week’s heroics by Iqbal, the talk permeating the club all week was whether or not the boys could back it up against the Bank of England on Saturday (by “talk”, I mean, AJ saying to Matty D at nets: “Great win for the 3s on Saturday eh?”, Matty D: “yeah FACT – reckon they can back it up?”, AJ: “Don’t know mate – yeah why not”? MD: “Jimmy C’s good isn’t he?”, AJ: “Yeah, he’s lively as well!”… you get the gist). Following a couple of late inclusions into the squad, and a mysterious decision from the opposition to field in the wet having won the toss, the Wick went out to bat on what Doddy mused was a “bloody slow” track.

Led by openers Risman and Doddy, the Wick made a slow but confident start. However, with the pitch playing as invitingly as a (deleted, this is a family blog), it wasn’t long before they were both back in the hutch after some cavalier shots. Jimmy C joined them soon after following a ridiculous dance down the wicket, leaving the Wick at 4 for 30 after just 15 overs.

Thankfully, stability was soon restored as Lloydy and Alex arrived at the crease, helping to rescue the innings. Alex never looked troubled by their attack, pushing 2s and scoring boundaries at will, while Lloydy kept the runs ticking over at the other end with his usual, aggressive style. A partnership of 70 was quickly put together, helping the Wick to reach a respectable 135 at the close.

After the tea interval, and a great gee up from Lloydy, the boys took to the field in a buoyant mood. With “Direct” and Iqbal opening the attack, there was every reason to believe it could be a short afternoon. Direct, bowling with his usual pace and bounce was as probing as ever, while Iqbal got the ball to swing and dart all over the place, putting their batsmen under pressure from the off. It was little wonder then that their openers were back in the pavilion after only a few balls, both falling in quick succession.

Given the Wick’s good start and sensing an early finish, Doddy helped lighten the mood with a couple of horrible sledges about “banking” to unsettle the Bank of England batsmen. Listed by no means in order of popularity, Doddy came up with these gems:

“Make them play by ‘direct’ debit Des" “Good to see that our bowling is fixed and not variable” “this is gold standard stuff Wick” “send the next one down with interest”

Surprisingly Doddy’s oddball behaviour clearly rattled the batsmen. Direct and Iqbal managed to pick up another couple of wickets each, with Harry taking superb catches on both occasions. This, however, was only a small part of an amazing repertoire from Harry, who dived at everything and pulled off some amazing stops in the process. With the Bank now at 5 for 50, the game looked to be over as a contest.

With few remaining wickets on offer, Kirky and Jimmy C then came on to get into the act. Jimmy C couldn’t buy a wicket, despite constant appealing (Monty Panesar style) while Kirky, on the other hand, swinging the ball beautifully up the hill, picked up three wickets in quick succession, almost getting a cheeky hat-trick.

Thanks to Tommy Robinson and Ian T, the tail was quickly taken apart and the game was over. The Wick had bowled out Bank for under 90 runs with a brilliant bowling and fielding performance, led by the incomparable Harry behind the stumps.

In the team huddle after the win, Lloydy spoke eloquently about the “solid” performance. It’s two wins on the spin now for the Wick 3s, but can they make it three in a row? There’ll no doubt be talk at nets during the week, courtesy of AJ and Matty D, but don’t be surprised if there’s talk about which team is going to keep Harry.

Yours in Wick, Wickman Junior

HWRCC 3RD X1 VS THAMES DITTON

Thames Ditton – 150 (50)

HWRCC – 151-9 (40)

Hampton Wick steal dramatic win under fading light….

The meaning of ‘Wick’?

Word reaches Wickman Junior of a conversation that took place between Clarky and Jimmy C outside a local establishment in Soho (not G.A.Y) before the first match of the season. With an unwelcome third party taking part in the convo, the talk invariably steered away from matters cricket – something that Jimmy C and Clarky cannot stand for. For them, if you can’t reminisce about Graeme Gooch (333 at the Oval – wikipedia it), Tubby Taylor or Steve Waugh (“wo wo wo, what is he good for?”) over a couple of cold brews, then you’re simply better off six feet under – FACT.

As luck would have it, and before having to conjure up cheeky excuses about needing to “get up early”, the pair managed to wrestle discussion back to cricket, and everything Wick. But an odd-ball question, posed by the third party about the Wick, was set to create confusion. The question went something like this:

Third Party (unwelcome): “You guys always go on about the Wick! What does it mean to be ‘wick’? How do you define something that is / isn’t wick?

Despite being able to speak so eloquently and definitively about cricket (Clarky…not Jimmy C) the pair, on this occasion, didn’t have an answer. Throwing out words like “indefinable”, the two were left completely jiggered. “What does it mean to be wick?” they pondered as they strolled home. It probably kept them up all night.

But after Saturday’s 3rd XI victory over Thames Ditton, Wickman Junior believes that Clarky and Jimmy C should now be closer than ever to answering this “controversial” question. Following one of the club’s greatest ever fight backs, the performance of young colt Junaid Iqbal just screamed “Wick” at every turn.

On a hot and muggy afternoon, the Wick went out to field against league side Ditton. Following some choice words from Lloydy (“I am a captain, but I’ll let you guys call the shots”), we set about tearing into their top order. With Junaid and “Direct” coming from both ends, their openers were quickly under pressure - Junaid bowling with tremendous accuracy and “Direct” sending down plenty of chin music. It was not long before the openers fell.

With Jimmy C and Alex coming in at first change, the boys kept the pressure up. As Jimmy C took out the off peg of two of Ditton’s top order (while also being dropped 4 times – thanks Doddy) and Alex swung the ball (Matty Hoggard style) to take another wicket, the visitors were soon in trouble at 6 for 60.

However with temperatures soaring, the Wick started to take their foot off the pedal. Sloppy fielding and Thames Ditton’s 8th wicket stand of 70, helped them to reach 150 at the tea break. With a weakened batting line up, the Wick felt that a great opportunity to win the match had been squandered.

With a required run rate of 3 runs an over, a good start was imperative. But this did not eventuate, as the reply started in the worst possible way. With their spinners opening from end, Doddy, Lloydy and Direct all went cheaply in the first few overs. And despite a couple of boundaries from Jimmy C and some resistance from Tommy Robinson, the Wick soon had their tail exposed. At 7/67, a comeback did not look likely.

But colt Junaid Iqbal, a “real thinker” according to Jimmy C, had other ideas. Knowing that there were plenty of overs to go, and with the weather still hot and sticky, he pushed the singles on offer and let the better balls to go through to the keeper. It was text book batting – just play each ball on its merits. Predictably, Thames Ditton became increasingly frustrated, and subsequently became tired and sloppy in the field. With the score now creeping up to 7 for 110, the belief that a result could be pulled off was growing, and so was the confidence the Wick’s batsmen.

At 7/130, the match was heading to a climax. But as the Wick lost 2 quick wickets with another 20 runs needed to win, it seemed like it had all been too little too late. However, as Iqbal kept Merwin protected at the non-strikers end (great understanding at Colt level - FACT), and with the two’s being picked off readily, the Wick needed just 4 runs to win the match. It would not be a lie to say that every run was cheered on by the entire squad, now standing on the edge of the boundary in anticipation.

Sensing a dramatic win, Iqbal was cool under the pressure (remember…he’s 13!!!). Letting a wide ball go through to the keeper, the Wick was overjoyed to see the keeper fluff at it. And as the ball went past fine leg and trickled over the boundary, bedlam erupted.

As Iqbal through his bat in the air, the boys charged onto the field for a massive embrace. Wickman Junior has never seen more high fives and [phrase edited out owing to unsuitability in a family publication] in his life. It was a jubilant moment for the boys – pure elation - FACT.

At this moment, everyone knew what it meant to be Wick. But just don’t expect anyone to give you an answer….

Yours in Wick,

Wickman Junior.

Sunday xi vs Teddington Town - by Goldy

Sunday XI vs Teddington Town XI - Bushy Parky League - 3rd June 2007.

Teddington Town 103 all out

HWRCC 104-2

HWRCC won by 8 Wickets

MOM - Sissen

Goulborn *, Mackie, Garf, Copeland H +, Iqbal, Cameron, Bishop, Vader, Austin, Hibberd, Sissen

Unfortunately for the batsmen in the team, the dream of amassing a huge total on Sunday was shattered when yours truly lost the toss and was asked to field. With a previous best team total of 346 off forty overs against Teddington Town, you can understand their greediness. That said, fielding first gave the youthful members in the team a good chance to showcase their talents and further prove the Wick has a bright future. Junaid Iqbal, a 13 year old fast/medium bowler made yet another senior appearance and bowled tight lines, rarely giving away easy runs. He was rewarded for his efforts bowling the opening batsmen who had carried his bat through 30 odd overs, middle stump.

The other opening bowler Tom Austin (still at school, but now almost a Sunday veteran) showed what the Wick has been missing this season with some genuinely quick, lively bowling. “Harmy” picked up two wickets for his troubles. Note to 2s Captain Fudge, as soon as his exams are over, Harmys in, FACT! The other wickets were shared around between Vader (3) who bowled some delicious off spin that was reminiscent of Del Boys spell in the emphatic twos win the day before, Myself (pies) and Jimmy C bowling tight and as usual, aggressive. Harry Copleland (who in the morning won the game for the Wick u13s with a fantastic 30 odd not out) kept well behind the stumps. The keeper, aged twelve showed exceptional talent and it wont be too long before the young lad starts featuring prominently it the adult set up. I asked Garf to give him some advice, and he told me he was too good for advice from him, now that is praise!

So Teddington Town set us a measly 103 to chase down. With a batting order that consisted of big hitters such as Mackie, Barrel, Hibby, Sisso and Copeland, this target was never really going to trouble us. With this in mind the order was shuffled around a bit and early on we did our best to make it difficult for ourselves. Barrel went second ball when Vader raised the finger for a ‘dubious’ LBW decision (don’t worry vader, we ve all made them!eh del!?) and Hibby went shortly after playing an equally dubious shot to their decent left armer, having played some decent shots off the leg spinner. Bobby and Garf settled things down and eventually saw us home. Bobby proved he still had what it takes when he hit a HUGE six into the club house – definitely the highlight of the innings. Garf set about his innings in a professional manner playing technically sound and very straight, hitting some lovely four down the ground.

Wick win. Job done.

MOM – Sisso

Dick of the day – Jimmy C for shouting at an oppo fielder when he was about to take a catch. Then when seeing we were all cringing on the sidelines asking “isn’t that what you do?” bloody Aussies!

WICK!

Here's a gratuitous picture of AJ with more hair.

3rds vs Crossbats.... Match Rep by Wickman Jr

HWRCC 3RD XI vs CROSSBATS

TEAM – Lloydy (c), Jimmy C, Taylorson, Conner, Doddy, Sayce, Iqbal, Tommy, Kirky, Derrick.

HWRCC finish on 8-130; Paul “strokemaker” Sayce making a majestic 65 and Taylorson a cheeky 20.

CROSSBATS finish with 4-134, winning by 6 wickets.

Please welcome back into the fold….Ashley Giles

Hampton Wick Royal Cricket Club, Bushey Park, Hampton Wick, has been the setting for many special occasions over the last hundred odd years. It was the venue for the Queen’s first outdoor sojourn amongst the common folk (you might have to check that on wikipedia – Wickman Junior doesn’t have time for these trivialities), the place where actress Kierra Knightly turned up for a few cheeky beverages (and had her cheeks tested, if you take Joey’s word as read), and the first official sighting of Wickman, still revered as the doyen of the club. Jimmy C disputes this though…. “who is Wickman?”

But all of these events, while significant in the Club’s history, pale in comparison to what can only be described as the most surreal day ever witnessed at The Wick. For May 26th 2007 was the day that Mrs Cricket himself, Ashley Giles MBE (or OBE…again Wikipedia it), made a triumphant return to the game playing for the Crossbats. It was a privilege to say that we were there to witness such an august occasion.

Despite the doubts of HWRCC’s 3rd XI about the veracity of Ashley Giles’ appearance for the Crossbats, new captain “Lloydy” (“do you want me to tell you my average again?”) decided to get down to business and ignore the naysayers. Heading out to bat on a newly trimmed and refurbished outfield (Many thanks to Fudgey for taking heed of Wickman Junior’s comments on these pages last week), the Wick set about posting a solid total.

Led by the masterful Paul Sayce (“are you AJ in disguise?”) and “Direct” Derrick, we looked totally at ease with the opening bowlers. Pushing boundaries and singles at ease, the opening pair had already racked up 20 odd by the time Derrick (“the weather in this country is toilet – FACT”), got an unlucky top edge and was sent packing. And despite Doddy (“just back from Vegas”) and Lloydy going cheaply, we were still confident of posting a score.

But Ashley Giles didn’t just pick Hampton Wick for a “light-hearted” return to the game, and just be “a part” of the action. Not on your nelson. As Jimmy C strode purposely out to the wicket (despite recent knocks), “Gilo” had already found our weakness, and the game was as good as over as a contest. As Sayce skied another hook shot to the boundary, “Gilo” - just like he did from Ponting in the Second Ashes Test in Adelaide last year – dropped a sitter. It was just the spur the Crossbats needed.

With their Captain sighting this typical “Gilo” ineptitude on the boundary, Ashley was brought on to bowl his usual left arm pies. Game over. Whether it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things “Gilo”, like the master he is, tore through Jimmy C and the remaining batsmen – despite the brief resistance of Taylorson and Robinson. Managing only 130, the Wick had succumbed to Mrs Cricket. Welcome back to the game mate.

After a lovely tea interval and a few encouraging words from Clarky - “130 is defendable – FACT” – we took to the field. With one player short, Lloydy deputizing behind the stumps, and the rain becoming stronger, we were up against it from the get-go. “Gilo”, spurred on by Jimmy C’s taunts at first slip, punished our openers all over the park. Jimmy C is developing a reputation for stupid sledging (note: how long can you go before the saying “that’s probing Iqbal…good stuff” gets overused?)

“Direct” and “Iqbal”, although talented bowlers, could not match the quality of “Gilo” – it was a harsh but important lesson for the Wick. The pundits often say that “form is temporary and class is forever” and Gilo, the best thing to happen to cricket since Mark Ealham rolled his arm over, fits this description to a T.

Despite a few late wickets and a great catch by Jimmy C (the ball was a sponge at this point – FACT), the Crossbats coasted to victory. As “Gilo” walked off with bat in hand, acknowledging the crowd, Wickman Junior shed a cheeky tear. I have never considered “turning” for anyone in my life, but at 6.00 pm on May 26th 2007, it could easily have happened.

Best of luck for the future “Gilo”, and welcome back!

Wickman Junior