3's Lose... Well it had to happen some time I guess

3rdXI Vs Old Tiffininans. Risman, Doddy, Lloyd, High, Cameron, Maloj, Caldwell +, Nicholls, Taylorson, Noor, Laight

Coming off the back of 3 straight (and some may say comfortable) wins, one would be forgiven for looking at this score card and saying “complacent”. But you would be wrong. My first mistake was telling people that Duncan had played a blinder with 77 runs and 4 wickets which prompted Fudgey to pipe up and say “ Perfect I need a number 7 next week Ithangyew!”.The next mistake was attempting to slide the highly rated colt Chris Madoc-Jones into my side which prompted Matty D so say ! “Are you sure!!” and my scribbling his name out.
The next heinous crime was that the IRB had rudely decided to play the Guinness premiership final on the same day as our game which instantly prompted Cranesy to go on a ticket hunt and join Dom on his birthday Leo Sayer. Couple this with opening bat Shyam Pushpanath coming down with measles and you have 120 runs missing from the previous week via Duncan and Crane and are an opener short. Following the steep learning curve that I cannot play cricket after an all night bender I took the opportunity to have a quiet one in front of Mario and Sonic Olympics and a Ruby. Perfect!

(Pop) Message from Charlie Fox
“Lloydy, lash tonight, exams finished getting on it”
“cricket match orrr”
“Don’t Worry I’ll get ruuuunnnsss”
Whatever

Toss won I decided to bat as the track was moist and were were fielding more of a bolwing side plus Charlie was looking like he had a night on the tramp juice (white lightening for those un accustomed to the nuances of stoodent beverages) and I thought sending him in early may have been the end of him.
Jimmy and Ian opened the bowling and tied up both ends for the first 3 overs before Ian managed to get their opener to sky one to mid wicket and into the buckets of Lloyd who waited an age for the thing to come down with snow on before catching it and putting it in his pocket. 4 for 1 off 4.
Good start.
Next over and still no more runs. In fact they got to 8 for 1 off 8 before Ian bowled the other opener. On came Muzzy and Maloj and snaffled for their first league overs of the season. Muzzy’s extra bounce accounting for the number 3 who was caught at gully by jimmy and then identical ball and catcher the next over to account for the dangerous number 5 and thennext over, Maloj took a fantastic C&B which he plucked from 2 strips across (god knows!). It was their number 5 that did the damage though, smashing first Kirk and then Keith for too many runs and accelerated their score to 130 odd before he fell and brought the innings to a close.

Teas were a reasonable 6 as a result of the cold sausages but only let down by the overly milky tea…. It’s a precise science don’t you know!
Doddy and Riso opened our innings and the former added to the clubs duck tax flashing at an out swinger (with the old ball?) in the 3rd over and sent the opposition into the kind of raptures usually reserved for service men returning from the battlefield. Lloyd joined Risman at the crease and seemed to be picking the ball well despite the short left armers both coming out of the trees, but fell for 6 playing across he line. The pain was increase when High who had picked his first few balls well had his middle stump uprooted as he did the same as the skipper. The wick were in trouble!

Cameron came to the crease and played selectively but well and he and Riso looked to be bringing the score along nicely before the latter holed out to mid off and brought new Wick keeper and debutant Alex Caldwell to the crease. Alex batted and kept with composure and experience which was in excess of his 15 years and it’s a shame he isn’t about much due to school.

The pressure was put on in a big way not least by Tiffs deciding to appeal for everything that either missed the edge or struck the pad, and by the constant chattering of the slip corden when we had been very quiet during their innings, which isn’t really in the spirit of the modern game. As time ticked on Cameron and Caldwell both fell caught and bowled respectively as did the chairman who spooned one to mid wicket. Frantic conversations were had between incoming batsmen and Lloydy and the draw was decided on as there was only 40 minutes left in the game.

Muzzy and Ian played with composure to see us to the last 10 minutes before Ian was cruely bowled by a grub hunter having seen the previous 2 whistle past his ears.

Last 7 minutes and Kirk and Muzzy were holding firm.
With 5 minutes on the clock, yet another appeal for caught behind was turned down by umpire Lloyd… funnily enough because there was no edge and that they appealed before the ball get near the bat, followed by an LBW shout, again turned down because Kirk was batting with a leg guard and the ball pitched outside off but boy were they grumpy!. Following this entertainment, I guess it should have been no surprise that the first ball of the next over struck the pad (again batting off leg stump) up they went. Their umpire used his good eye, moved the fastest he had all day and triggered Muzzy and bring about more over exuberant celebrations and hand slapping. A draw would have been a fair result we felt and to lose in such a manner left a bad taste with all the wick boys.
next week away to Merstham and hopefully better availability through the club should see a return to winning ways cos my corona just didn’t taste right!
Evenings festivities, Tun= lively Barcadia= even more lively
Duncan= vomming and the passing out on Cranesy’s sofa= Most lively!

Sunday xi vs Ashtead (home) Match Report by Jimmy C

HWRCC – Jimmy C (Skip), Matty D, Mark, Harry, Junaid, Vaider, Duncan, Maloj, Del Boy, Sam Kemp, Lloydy

125-9 (Matty D 48, Del Boy 25)

ASHTEAD

67 all out (Junaid 5 /15 – lively!)

HWRCC won by 58 runs

If there was any doubt that pressure applied to someone in the right fashion can cause them to do something you want them to do (think water boarding, dripping a tap in a darkened room, blindfolded) you need look no further than this match report. It is a sad state of affairs when someone needs to be cajoled into writing about what they love and dream about every night (aside from the ‘larger set’), but that is precisely what has happened to yours truly.

Following threats from the 1st Team Captain and Wickman to get his proverbial arse into gear, which included removal from employment and…….actually, that pretty much did it, I caved in and penned the following match report of HWRCC Sunday XI vs Ashtead.

Like Josef Fritzl on holiday in Thailand while the kids are left at home, I simply can’t take leave of my responsibilities. So I’m sorry. There – I said it. I’ve learnt my lesson. And I can assure you that, unlike Fritzl, I will not leave you in the dark any longer over the success of the Sunday team.

And what success we had on Sunday May 4th 2008.

Following an almighty struggle to get 11 players to commit to a game (Geez boys, it’s not like cricket is a girl demanding a full term relationship…..Actually, it kind of is now that I think about it), Debut Wick Skipper Jimmy C led out the first Sunday team of the season against an Ashtead side which Lownsy described, in a more sober moment, as “good” (he’s a man of many words…..).

After promptly losing the toss (ominous start), the Wick were sent in to bat on a sticky wicket. With relatively little experience of captaining (read none), Jimmy C displayed a great deal of uncertainty as he put together his batting order. While Matty D was a certainty to open, it was very much a case of picking and hoping that the remaining players who said they could “bat a bit”, weren’t just pulling a fast one.

Aside from handy performances from Matty D (48), Del Boy (25), it turned out that the rest were pulling a fast one and couldn’t “bat a bit” (I include myself on that score). Although Ashtead bowled on the spot, with the right application and “experience” (I had it throw it in) we should have scored more than just the 125 runs we scraped together. Save the final efforts of Del and Junaid, we would have been looking at a much lower total.

Players go to the break. Tea – ats.

Pep talk time.

Quick to establish who was the boss out in the field, Jimmy C rallied the troops. “Talk it up” was his refrain (amongst other inaudible nonsense) as the boys got together in the huddle. He said that with the right pressure on the batsman and the right “talk”, we might just be able to nick a result.

That turned out to be a massive underestimate.

Taking the game by the thruff of the scroat, Jimmy C put himself and young Junaid in to open the bowling. While Jimmy managed to keep it consistent and the on the spot, young Iqbal let loose. Taking 5 for 15 in a blistering opening spell, Junaid took out the top order with ease. Line, length, nip, height, swing - his spell had everything which makes him worthy of the Wick.

Despite the terrific start and with the game very much in our corner, we appeared to be running out of bowling stocks. However, sensing his carpe diem moment, Skipper Jimmy C sent his trump “surprise card” into bowl.

Some say he is the chap who waited on us at last year’s end of season dinner. Del knows him as Maloj. But to everyone (read Jimmy C) out on the field last Sunday, he is now the new Anil Kumble of the Wick. With pace, spin, aggression, length and…wait for it… experience, Maloj bamboozled the batsman – much like Anil does. Welcome to the Wick my son. And while he didn’t pick up any wickets, it didn’t matter. He had made a statement. The batsmen were shocked and it was game over.

Vaider and Del then came into the attack and picked up the remaining wickets, leaving Ashtead with a miserly 67 runs at the close. It was a great day’s cricket and debut skipper Jimmy C was over the moon with the result.

First win of the season.

I can’t wait for next Sunday.