Third Wickwash Takes All Three Teams to the Top

Sunday mornings are often hard work. With grey skies above the Wick and vague recollections of an early morning deluge this Sunday morning should be no different from any other. Except that it is. Mid afternoon yesterday after a demolition of Merrow 2xi in the league that was so comprehensive that when first Sisso, then Andy, then Julian and then Jelly arrived at the Wick to watch a bit of cricket all they found was the 2s ensconced on the balcony hard at a succession of jugs a few of the team discussed how it felt to be the only team at the club that wasn’t in the promotion positions. This morning Play Cricket tells us that we ARE in the promotion places – second place to Chobham by a point. Happy Days. 1s and 3s first in their leagues, 2s second by a single point. Wick. Played 9, Won 8, Drawn 1. Three weekends into the season, two Wickwashes. Now that IS Wick!

Second Ton for Royal Cricket

May 19th. 103 visits. FACT

Match Report - Sunday xi vs Nepotists by Wickman Jr

HWRCC VS NEPOTISTS – SUNDAY MAY 18th Wick – 174/6 off 40 overs (Golby 34, Whinney 27, Hirsch 25)

Defeated

Nepotists – 171/6 (Whinney 2/13 off 8 overs; MJ and Vaider picking up a couple each)

Wick snatch it late to keep 100% record Whinney the hero in 3rd successive win

On these very pages last year, you may remember I asked the question: “What does it mean to be Wick?” It intrigued me at the time because all I’d ever hear from Wickman was – “is he wick?”, when referring to a new player or colt coming through the ranks. Believing I had arrived at an answer, I cited the performance of a young Junaid Iqbal, who put on 30-odd runs to help the 3s score a dramatic come-from-behind win against Long Ditton last year.

From this example, being “Wick” meant having a “never say die” attitude, an ability to fight to the end and to back yourself no matter what the situation. I was convinced that was it. However now, I think the definition can be strengthened. Because after seeing the performance of PE Man Shaun Whinney on Sunday, whose bowling at the death of the match helped pull off a thrilling 3-run victory over the touring Nepotists, I think we can add another descriptive: “love for the game”.

Being Wick means loving cricket. It might sound like a pretty stupid thing to say, but I think we sometimes overlook the fact that, while we’re so hell bent on winning, we also should be having fun doing it. Shaunny epitomizes this as much as anyone else at the club (controversial?). He loves batting, bowling, fielding, even keeping! And isn’t too bad at the sledging either (crucial in a Jimmy C-led team really…..). He eats the game up. That he came back to the UK just to have another season of cricket at the Wick, speaks volumes about the character of the bloke.

But enough of this sycophancy and on to the match.

After spending a big night with Del and Lloydy out in Kingston, Skipper Jimmy C arrived at the Wick eager to build on the first two games of the season. With just a few hours kip under the belt, thanks to the work of a swimming instructor who had never been in a pool, he promptly lost the toss and was sent in to bat on a cold, but beautiful, afternoon. Game on.

Led by Goldy and Nathan, the Wick got off to a solid start. Goldy, who looks to be in better form as each match passes, was free to play his shots against a good opening attack (it must be said). The cut shot was preferred option at all times. Nathan was likewise in fine form. With the timing of a young David Gower (is there talk?), he breezed to 24 runs with some glorious stroke play (reminiscent of the skipper on Saturday night).

However, despite Nath’s solid start, he was back in the hutch after being caught at cover (You were hung-over mate – admit it). And while anyone losing their wicket is a downer, the fact that he made way for new boy (talk him up) Chris Madoc-Jones, was a tantalizing prospect.

Skipper Jimmy C had been told about MJ during the week by first team skipper Matty D. And let me tell you, this kid is good. Very good, in fact. While he may look like a normal kid, when he is out in the middle he looks as though he has already played 100 test matches, notched up a few centuries, and led his country to a few world cup victories (bit excessive….orrrrrrr?). Making a quick fire 20-odd before skying a shot to cover (unlucky), Jimmy C was still impressed. Can you play next week mate?

Despite the losses of Nathan and MJ, the score ticked over at more than 4 runs per over. The arrival of Shaun Whinney, who was timing the ball to perfection, alongside Golby who continued to experiment with the cut shot, helped us to look comfortable. And while Golby eventually went for a valuable 34, the emergence of Joey “Hirchshelle Gibbs” Hirsh to the crease kept the score moving. Clearly motivated by the efforts of Maddoc Jones, Joe Hirsh was sensational. With long drives and timing as good as a young David Gower (there are now two at the club – FACT), the boy put on 25 runs in what was a top knock.

With the support of Whinney and Hirsh, followed by Kennedy and Del Boy, we were able to bring the score to 174-6 after 40. It was a good total Jimmy C thought.

Tea – ats

Heading out to the field, Skipper Jimmy C was thrilled with his bowling and fielding line up. Forget what the Saturday teams will tell you, Sundays provides the best opportunity to see a real team put together – FACT. Opening the bowling with Whinney and Junaid is a captain’s dream (although Joey would be nice to throw in the mix to be fair). And they rarely disappoint.

Whinney bowled so far out of his skin that I swear he could easily have been a young Alan Donald (without any skin). I couldn’t tell. Bowling down the hill, Whinney put every ball on the Putney Bridge to make the oppo’s batsmen look silly (think Nick Nolte’s mug shot after a recent arrest). However, despite these efforts and Junaid’s toil at the other end, the Wick were unable to get the early breakthrough they wanted.

Sensing that this game might go the distance, Jimmy C put himself and Duncan “safe hands” Kennedy into the attack to shake things up a bit. It didn’t really work. Although, Jimmy was pretty much on the spot as usual and Duncan got the ball to “do a bit” from the other end, that first elusive wicket was still to be taken. Meanwhile, the batsmen were putting on the runs.

It was time to reach into the bag and bring out the wild card – MJ. Setting his own field, MJ started to send them down the track to two batsmen gaining in confidence. Following two consecutive sixes off his bowling, Jimmy C was starting to think this might not be his day. And as his next ball was dispatched into the outfield, Jimmy C had his head in his hands. Surely game over. Thankfully, “Safe hands” Duncan was under the ball and took a brilliant catch. He’s got the best pair of hands in the club. Fact. The same thing happened a few overs later. Jimmy started to believe.

Bringing Vaider into the attack (I rate this boy, I really do), the boundaries started to slow up. Putting the ball on the spot, the batsmen became frustrated and began to lash out. The Nepotists now needed 36-odd runs off the last 30 balls. We were still in it with a chance.

Enter Whinney at the death. Bowling yorker after yorker, the batsmen couldn’t get the ball away, and after a few wild shots, two more wickets fell after the stumps were left shattered by Whinney. TALK IT UP MATE. You could feel the drama build.

It went to the last over. They needed 11 off 6. Then 11 off 5; 7 off 4; 7 off 3; 5 off 2 and 5 off 1 (after Kempy put down a sitter).

Heart in mouth time.

Whinney launched in. The bat got a hold of one. Would it go for six? No – you bet it wouldn’t. It went straight to Duncan at deep mid-off. He lobbed the ball back to Whinney at the bowlers end and he took the bails off. We had won by 3 runs. “£!!** YES!!!!” The boys were elated. What a win!

It was a terrific match for anyone that watched (ask Wickman). I never thought being skipper could be this much fun, and I thank Whinney for showing me that on Sunday. Bring on next Sunday I say. And with Joey, Whinney and Matty D all confirmed (I may need to double check that), I can’t bloody wait.

Wickman Junior.

[Here's a handy picture of where MOM Shaun comes from in PE!!!]

Tea Grading

For those of you uncertain of the scoring around teas, there is no standard calibration. As experienced as your scribes are in the sampling of teas around the Middlesex and Surrey areas you must expect some variation. It's an art, not a science.

Points should be awarded for: 1. Freshness - essential. Stale teas are a crime against cricket and should probably be included in the The Spirit of the Game or whatever its called next time around. Fruit is frowned upon in some tradtional quarters as being the work of the devil (remember what happened to Eve in the garden) but Wickman is wholely supportive. If he can get one of his five a day at tea then it can't be bad.

2. Homemadeness - only a truly homemade tea (ie no purchased multi-pack Penguins etc) could ever approach a ten.

3. Innovation - something new, or at least new to the scribe, is important. Ewhurst had a ham one year which was sourced from the local butcher. It was soooo good. They had fresh French bread too. Westfield had sort of custard pies. DBW created a new tikka sandwich filling a couple of weeks ago. Lingfield (Wickman thinks) had pickled onions. Someone else had beetroot in vinegar. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm *Wickman pauses to wipe drool off the keyboard*

4. The Tea (drink) must be plentiful, hot and served in a mug. It should not be the colour of milk. It should be the colour of Del's 20 year old jocky.

5. Abundance - there must be enough of it so that no one has to think "damn it I just can't take any more otherwise the oppo won't get any".

6. Presentation - vitally important to present the tea in such a fashion that the eye and brain can immediately sum up a) how to assemble the perfect plate - one of everything or should one stock up on a particular aspect such as sandwiches? b) how many people will need to be served from it (see 5) so that the teaer can take what's needed? c) has the chef added small touches such as parsley, lettuce (see 1) to show that the art of presentation is not dead?

Thus a standard DBW tea will score between 6 and 7 most weeks. The howler of two weeks ago fell foul of 1). Occasionally Wickman feels that the dodgy mugs DBW uses contravene 4). The homemadeness we all know is often totally absent unless there has been a wedding / funeral / orienteering meet.

Wickman hopes this helps. However Wickman will be enquiring of Lloydy how Matty D scored Saturday's tea as an ATS 5 and Lloydy scored it 8. An 8 this early in the season is just plain wrong. Mentally Wickman has taken the average of the two scores coming out a robust 6.5... [Here's a picture of a fantastic tea. This tea looks as if it could be a 9]

Fantasy Cricket - Week 2

Another great week for the week sees all 3 teams remain undefeated. The fantasy table is opening up with 459 points between 1st and last. Fudgey leads the players board with an average of 138 points a game (bowlers game huh?!)

But to bring him down a bit, he didnt pick himself. His girlfriend did and that's why she is top of the league for week 2. well done jo.

Match Report - 1xi vs Old Tiffinians (h)

In 2007 the 1XI won 3 games and finished a commendable 8th. In 2008, they have already won 2 out of 2, and a 100% record thus far speaks volumes about the ability and team ethic that has emerged in the squad. Everyone really wants to be involved and contribute, and with different people taking leading roles each week, this could turn into a season to remember.

Sat 17th May, Home v Old Tiffs.

Before we start, it must be pointed out that the opposition started the game with 6 players, and when the rest arrived their total was still 2 shy of a full quota. Read what you like into that.

Old Tiffs won the toss and chose to bat - the main reason being their low numbers. MattyD would have probably batted as well, but the fact he had been debating it with most of the team for half an hour mean't it could go either way. A good toss to lose. The deck was green, but it was hard and pretty zippy as well. The odd ball misbehaved a bit, but nothing particularly unusual. Joey started where he left off last week, again picking up a wicket in the first over. In came the number 3. Well, he bated at 3, although I wouldn't like to compare him in any way to our number 3 (Boney). Joey was wasted on him as he continually missed not only the ball but also his mummy. However, Joey couldn't hit the stumps, so he and the other opener moved the scores along to 40 off 12 overs, with Fordy off colour at the other end.

The innings turned howver when Tughral entered, post exams, and flighted his way to 6wickets. with little turn available, he used his flight and guile to guide his way to each wicket, picking up the dangerous 4 and 5 before they had a chance to show their full array of talents. Kam chipped in at the other end with a dubious lbw, but his bowling is slowly returning to 2007's standards.

OT finished on 121-8 (all out) off 35 overs.

A quick turnaround meant Davies and Cole were keen to hit the ground running. Davies, deciding to abandon the 'leave' proceeded to progress at a run a ball, playing some decent strokes alongside a few typical golby like dabs past gully. Davies fell on 49 just before tea.

Tea - ats. 5.

With only 50-odd needed, O'Mahoney came to the crease and showed how to bat properly at that position, falling on 25 when only peanuts were needed to kill off the game. Cole remained unbeaten on 20 at the other end, despite his Friday exploits corporate style at Lords.

In conclusion, the team should be pleased that tey have dominated two teams in the field, and that the batting is coming together. However, there is still lots of room for improvement. The odd catch was dropped, the odd lazy fumble in the field etc etc. Having said that things are bubbling nicely.

Match Report - 2xi vs Old Kingstonians (a) by Clarky

Old Kingstonian’s 2xi vs HWRCC 2xi
HWRCC 248-5 (45.5 overs) declared. D Fudge 109, N Singh 56
Old Ks 129-8 (50 overs). D Lown Four for not very many.
HWRCC draw by 120 runs.
Singh, Clark, Fudge, Globby, Wright, Hibberd, Soppitt, Powell, Donnelly, Hill, Lown

Division new boys take down last year’s 3rd placed team in bore draw

If Alan Sugar had dragged the two teams together on Saturday morning and said, in that Norf Lahndon drawl “go ahhhht and put on a game of cricket, the team that plays the best cricket will win the game. One of the losers will be firrrred” then the Board Room scene at the end of the task could have been very messy.

On the face of it Skipper Fudge and the Wick team would imagine themselves safe from a grilling. Clark apart (who picked up a third ball duck after having almost been run out without facing by an anxious duck avoiding Iqbal, sorry Singh, sorry Nathan) the batsmen mostly delivered in some style. The fielding was close to exemplary although the grassing of a sitter by Hibby and a tracer bullet one handed slip catch by Wrighty might have been more expensive on another day. The bowling was largely naggingingly good if not life-threateningly quick – Dom Lown bowled by some margin his finest spell in a twos shirt to take four for not very many.

On a filthy, filthy day (the contrast with last week was absolute) we travelled to Old Kingstonian’s ground. Owned and maintained by an educational establishment it was immaculate. Beautiful. An outfield smoother than an ice rink. A deck that looked the right colour. Sightscreens freshly painted. HOT showers. This would be an absolute pleasure to play on and no doubt. It did though, con The Wick into batting for too long. Up to 180 from 33 overs, the boys settled into a strange torpor, only scoring another 70 from the next twelve. With such value to be obtained from the outfield we felt we needed to take some overs out of the game otherwise the declaration would be too generous we thought.

In fact in the context of Old K’s reply the Wick put on a quite majestic 248 from 45.5 overs at 5.4 an over. Asked to score at just under 5 in reply Old K’s gave up at the tea break the skipper declaring, none to quietly, that the win was gone. Sad. So there we go. Another skipper (like last week) wins the toss, and sticks the oppo in because he has no confidence in his team.

Fudgey scored one of those tons that Fudgey scores. Off drives. Paddle sweeps. Lofted checked pulls. Nudges for one. He mostly saw it like a beachball. Accompanying him after the early demise of the unfortunate Duck Tax paying Clark was Nathan. Nathan was “due a score”. He promptly put together a wonderful maiden half century full of off driving that had those huddled on the sidelines for warmth briefly glowing with pleasure.

Wrighty continued in his merry way of scoring runs without being out – this time 33 of them to average about 200 for the 2s. Hibby crashed a rapid 22. Golby and Del did what they both do nudging and scampering. The game changing incident though had already happened long before the declaration. Fudgey was given not out by Del relatively early in his innings.

Ever since the advent of Hawkeye, amateur umpires and players have become much more, well, hawkish about LBW shouts. The opposition felt that Fudgey was out. Whatever. They then proceeded not to give any of 13 shouts for LBW when they batted. A few of those appeals were marginal. Perhaps one or two would have missed the leg stump. Certainly they were optimistic. However there were two in particular which were so plumb they hurt. One was a full toss from Lownsy which hit the bat on the toe in front of middle. Had it gone straight on (which the law now says an umpire must think) it would have hit 4 inches above the base of middle. The other was a pad up by the same batsman. He would have lost his off stump had the ball carried on. Neither were given “because you didn’t give your guy out!” It’s a bit Latvian to say this, but if that was the reason they didn’t give an LBW all day rather than “the batsman gets the benefit of the doubt as I wasn’t sure” then, I am afraid, that’s sharp practice. Which is one step from cheating.

The surviving bat was the only reason that Old K’s did not lose this game. He scored 29 from a staggering 124 balls faced. It was the most boring innings this correspondent has witnessed since he and a colleague misunderstood a coach’s instructions to play for a draw in a school game by stodging it out from 1 wicket down for over 90 minutes. But as that occurred when your correspondent was 11 he is claiming lack of experience. This guy was clearly an experienced cricketer. It’s not that he didn’t have any shots either. He had at least one (a powerful square cut). He employed this four times in his innings. The rest of the innings was just dull. Mostly he spent the time playing the ball between his legs (but not onto the stumps unfortunately) or with his pads (which turned out to be the safest way to play yesterday). Eventually he edged a low full toss from Hibberd on to his stumps attempting to play an attacking shot but the time and overs he had used up were critical to Old K’s survival.

Old K’s were in the fight only as long as their opening bat was at the crease. Swinging like a mad axeman he smote and smote, often at thin air, sometimes connecting. This guy was intent on replicating Fudgey’s feat but in half the time. Once he was out the Number 3, who had a rather comical resemblance to a character from Fantasy Island (The plane! The plane!), did not look to have the technique to win the game. Everyone else who came in wasn’t up for it (although to be fair the ‘keeper did have a go, the skipper was out third ball and another chap for a golden).

The boys bowled well to try to winkle out the oppo. Even Powelly took a wicket despite only being able to bowl one ball at pace (4 wides) and four off two paces as his knee gave way. Lownsy was a revelation this week. He found a yard of pace, pitched the ball up much further and after an early flurry of leg side deliveries, camped out on off stump and brought the ball back. Excellent stuff. A win would have probably given him MOM… Hibby too bowled at pace and was accurate in his second spell. He almost cracked the game open with 10 or twelve overs to go removing Barnacle Bill before also deceiving the No 6 with a slower ball. Tommy D was like a wife of forty years who can hear a man pick up a newspaper through solid brick – nagging. Hilly, in his first bowl of the year, produced unplayable delivery after unplayable delivery until the rain got to the ball and took the shine. Del and Fudgey tossed some up – but to no avail. There was not MUCH more they could have done. Certainly it would have been useful to have Powelly firing on all cylinders as his mix of inswinging toe crushers and stump to stump pace but the others did a fantastic job.

So back to the Boardroom. If Sugar knew anything about cricket he might ask Fudgey “What did you think you were doooooing batting on to 45.5 ovvvvvvahhhs?” You would expect Fudgey to answer along the lines that Old K’s made 230 the previous week, this deck was as good as you’d get in the circumstances and the outfield was 5 an over good. Sugar might point the finger at Hibberd and ask about “that” drop. He might even call it a fiasssssssssco. Sugar might ask the middle order why they didn’t press on particularly quickly from 180 for 3 at 33 overs.

The oppo skipper would be in some serious doodoo. 129-8 is not good sport. Denying LBs on flimsy ground is not good sport. Ordering a rearguard that would have put Stalingrad to shame is not good sport. Sugar would also ask what Barnacle Bill does for excitement because he certainly doesn’t get it playing cricket.

Given though that the Wick eventually ran out 9-3 points winners in this game Sugar’d have to invite the oppo skipper in. It’s the rules you see. The oppo skipper would need to try to stave off a sacking for conceding runs at 5.4 an over and then getting a big fat duck. He’d probably take in the guy who got the golden as well. He didn’t do anything else all day. He’d consider his second change bowler who played in black skater trainers (village village village). But he’d have to take in the couple who made the teas. Sugar would have a field day. “ownnnleee four kinds of saaaaandwiches? Tuna and sweeeetcorn? That’s a Pizzzzzzzaaaa recipe not a saaaaaaaandwich. No Egg and Cress even? Tea cups the siiiiizze of blaaaahdy thimbuls?! That’s not a tea it’s a shhhhhhaaaaaaaaaambles. Tea lady? With regret, youre’d fired!” (4.5 out of ten for the statisticians amongst you).

MOM Fudgey.

3rdXI Vs Weybridge Vandals

Team: Risman, Pushpanath, Crane, High, Lloyd ©, Cameron, Copeland +,Kennedy, Taylorson, Nicholls, Ashmore

With the weather looking bleak to say the least you could be forgiven for thinking this game was to be a non event. However, whilst striding out to the middle for the coin toss it seemed both captains were keen to get a game in as it was decided that we would play through rain unless it started getting dangerous. So I promptly lost the toss for the second time in a row and having seen the damage our bowling attack did to Camberley the week previous we were put in to bat. Riso and new man Shyam looked comfortable from the off and put on an opening stand of 74 befor Shayam fell to a catch at point. The young lad sticking up a hand in hope more than expectation only to find the ball stuck and he celebrated like he had won the lottery. Riso followed shortly afterwards and brought Monkey boy to the crease to partner up Cransey in potentially explosive partnership. As it happened Monkey played a really nice innings full of composure and flair. Sadly Adam realised too soon that you need to leave the drive in the bag when playing on Kingsfield and holed out for a disappointing 6. Monkey and Lloydy put on a strong partnership of 74 for the 4th wicket and saw Monkey reach his maiden 3’s fifty with a number of huge 6’s. Lloydy tried his hardest to prove that you can drive on Kingsfield and was dropped twice on the way to 24 before playing round a straight one to bring Jimmy C to the crease. Jimmy played with his usual bottom handed finesse and ticked the runs along nicely. Monkey decided that his head had gone against their grenade chucker. Jimmy C disagreed. Monkey lost his middle stump next ball for 59. Told you he said. Duncan and the chubby chaser upped the run rate nicely over the last few overs till Jimbo top edged to the keeper and brought Harry in for the final few overs. 47 overs 215 on the board and Lloydy drew the innings to a close with Duncan on 37. Teas- Good with the foods of the world theme extended to some Italian cold cuts. Hot tea was unbelievably welcome. 8/10 With 20 overs being the magic number, the energy of recent weeks fielding performances continued and we found ourselves on top pretty quickly. Jimmy bowling down hill with pace and bounce threatened with everyball. A piece of captaining brilliance saw Duncan moved to 2nd slip and the next delivery drew the edge and nestled into his hands. 2 balls later and he has the number 3 LBW without scoring. Ian bowling uphill in his third over gets one to dip in and the bat gloved onto his own stumps to bring us to 3 for 4 off 5. Nice. Jimmy finished his spell with 4 wickets and Ian with 3, a comedy run out and a wicket for chairman nipps topped it off to win by 165 runs and send a happy Wick back to the bar with their supporters. Thanks go to Dave Ashmore whom I dragged from his bed to field for us and to Shyam for turning out to play on Friday night. Next week we are away to Wallington who were relegated from the Surrey Championship so should be more of a test. Fingers crossed for good availability up the club so we can field strong teams throughout.

Fantasy cricket - week 1

A good start to the fantasy league sees J Ratnage take an 89 point lead. Top point scorer this week was Fordy with 143 points following a well earned michelle. Remember with another 17 weeks to go, its a marathon not a sprint. and plenty of time to make up points. Teams can still be entered but after this saturday will not include any previous games points..

Lost 1 x Rubber Chicken

With the new league season underway, the Wick duck tax account is well and truly open and already being levied upon those who fail to trouble the scorer. Indeed in the last two weeks illustrious members such as Jimmy C, Goldmember, Nathan and Melman have all become members of the 08zero club and enjoyed the tricky experience of drinking past a rubber duck in their beer. But there is something missing. This heinous crime of non scoring is going unpunished as Nelson our fine enforcing chicken friend appears to have flown south for winter and not returned. There was a rumour that he was holidaying at Hibby's flat and that Hibby had been choking him to within an inch of his life to put him out of action. Hibby was unavailable to comment...

If anyone has any information pertaining to Nelson's whereabouts please e-mail Wickman (who ever he is) or comment below. This is a recent photo from his holiday album.... the female on the right has been ruled out of the investigation on the basis she is fowl.

HWRCC vs. KINGSTON – Sunday 11th May - Match Report by Jimmy C

HWRCC – 170/4 from 39 overs. Fudgey 48; Goldie 68 (MOM)

KINGSTON – 86/7 off 30-overs. Junaid 3 for very little; Kennedy and Vaider 2 a piece.

Wick achieves winning draw (read: win) against Kingston

They say that a week can be a long time in politics ("They" just do apparently… look it up). But I think the same can be said about, what I would consider being, the harshest and yet most rewarding of all mistresses… namely playing cricket for HWRCC.

After the initial struggles of putting out a 1st Sunday xi last week, Sunday skipper Jimmy C had the run of the club’s best and brightest for the home tie against Kingston on Sunday May 11th. Everyone wanted to play. In fact, so eager were people to play that apparently DBW considered revising his tea schedule to accommodate the extra players. It was that lively.

Jimmy C was overwhelmed by the volume of text messages / emails that came in during the week from players expressing a desire to be a part of the Wick’s newest regime.

Here’s a selection:

Fudgey: “Put me down for Sunday. I need runnnnsssss”. Ok, I will.

Whinney: “Are there any spaces left for Sunday? PE Man!!” For you mate, of course.

Del Boy: “I’m available” – Thanks, but can you play?

Unknown: “It was great to meet you last night. Fancy a drink next weekend?” – No. Piss off and gain 20 pounds. You know I prefer the larger set... I told you that

And so it went on...

Needless to say, Jimmy was thrilled by the squad of players on offer and could hardly wait for Sunday’s match to begin.

On the back of a strong bowling performance last Sunday, the Wick went into this game with a huge sense of confidence and belief (well I know I did). On a hard track that was already cutting up rough from Saturday’s action, Jimmy C won the toss and promptly decided to bat (much to the annoyance of the oppo). It was a hot day, Del was hungover, and none of the boys wanted to do much running in the afternoon sun – FACT. It was a simple decision really.

Golby and big Bobby Sisso opened the batting. Golby, keen to make up for a golden duck in Saturday’s game for the 2s, looked completely at ease out in the middle. With poise, experience and maturity beyond his years, Golby held off the two opening bowlers who were getting the ball to “do a bit” on the ridge, and managed to tick the scoring over nicely. Sisso was experience personified, bedecked in Wick jumper despite the heat (probably because of it) but found himself back in the hutch after only a few overs.

With Fudgey and Golby now at the crease, Kingston really stood no chance in getting back into this game. As the overs ticked by and the bowlers became increasingly tired, both players began launching into their shots. Fudgey, no doubt buoyed by Saturday’s win, played some magnificent long drives over the in field, while Golby played some of the sweetest cover drives you are ever likely to see. At the drinks break, we were only one wicket down, and on track for a solid score.

Not satisfied by the good start, Fudgey tried to pick the scoring rate up, however his exuberance soon got the better of him – holing out to a sort of short-long mid off for a valuable 48 runs. Golby, now joined by Kennedy at the crease, wasn’t fazed. He continued to pile on the runs and, with the later support of Del Boy and Jimmy C, managed to push the Wick to a declared 170 after 39 overs. He finished with a delightful, if not quite redeeming for Saturday's Fantasy Managers, 68 runs.

Teas – ats

After the break, the Wick set about the challenge of taking all 10 wickets. While the 80th birthday celebrations taking place at the club house proved to be some distraction, Jimmy C urged the boys to “$%£! focus” on the task at hand.

With Shaun Whinney debuuuuuing behind the stumps, Junaid and Jimmy C opened the bowling. Like the Sunday before, Junaid bowled out of his skin, quickly taking three wickets in what Sisso described post match as, wait for it, a “lively” opening spell. Jimmy, despite bowling well in conjunction, got nothing. ATS. With that in mind, young colt Nick Parkes, described as the “new Stuart Clark” of Hampton Wick by some, was brought into the attack. Although unlucky not to pick up a wicket, Parko teased Kingston batsmen with pace, nip, bounce, experience and, not to be outdone, fitness.

With the match heading for a dull draw, Jimmy C threw the ball to Duncan Kennedy in a surprise move. Rewarding his faith, big Duncs picked up two wickets in his first few overs, and left Kingston with an almighty struggle to stay in the game.

However, as time drew on, a draw seemed to be the only outcome of the match. While Jimmy rotated his strike force - Del, Hirchy and Vaider (who picked up two wickets) all had a trundle – the game ended in a winning draw. Kingston didn’t look like they wanted it at all, and looked knackered to be honest.

While it was annoying for the skipper not to pick up another win, the Sunday team is still undefeated for 2008. It was a good way to end a great Wick Wash weekend. After the match, Bobby was in fine form, and let loose with some of the funniest anecdotes about cricket and the Wick I’ve ever heard.

So what will be in store for next weekend? Who knows - but like a midget at a urinal, I’m gonna have to stay on my toes. [Here's a urinal which will help you to relax - Ed]

HWRCC 3xi Vs Camberley cc 3xi (h) - Match Report by Lloydy

Risman, Crane, Doddy, Lloyd ©, Copeland +, Cameron, Robinson, Taylorson, Kennedy, Tong, Laight

As the proud captain of the Wick’s newest league side, it was with a degree of trepidation that we approached our first game in our new league. All the ingredients for a good days cricket were there: Weather - Check, 11 players - Check, Oppo - Check, Typical Wick pitch - Check. So all going well it seemed until I lost the toss. The oppo had a car missing and we were missing an Aussie (something about shrimp and barbies I dunno) so I helpfully suggested that we would be happy to field first with 10 to enable their remaining players to arrive.

Wick – 1 Camberly - 0

Kirky opened up with the new ball and bowled a lovely line and length that was instantly a challenge to the batsmen who struggled to get their head round the ball angling across and swinging in. At the other end we opened with new boy Graeme Tong. Text from Matty D mid week [He is rapid! Opening bowler Fact!!]. He wasn’t wrong and Tongy hit the mark immediately and took a wicket with his second ball. He and Kirky formed a formidable partnership, miserly on runs and always threatening to take wickets. At 3 for 3 (with only eight players present) Wick tails were firmly up and Camberly looked to be in a spot of bother.

After a spell of 9 overs for 4 wickets and having ripped through the upper order Tong was replaced by Taylorson who continued the demolition with his own run of 4 wickets from 7 overs for 10 runs, supported by Duncan at the other end who shipped in with a wicket off his 4 overs.

Camberly’s innings closed all out for 54 off 30.3 overs. Advantage Wick!

Teas- Interesting Asian fusion with Chicken Tikka [Good work Lloydy - like your use of the word fusion - Ed] but bread slightly dry so 6/10 [Hmmm. Perhaps you were through them so early that the bread was ever so slightly fresher - Ed]

The Wick innings was opened by Mssrs Risman and Crane – a formidable blend of composure and explosive power against the old ball. With the words “You have 75 overs to chase this score so don’t try and do it in the first 3 Cranesy!” they resisted temptation and I am pleased to say batted with control and common sense.

The score was brought up off just 10 overs without losing a wicket and allowed a satisfied team onto the terrace, Magners in hand to cheer on the 2s. An excellent team performance typified by first class fielding and bowling from all. We won’t win games by this kind of margin every week, but we have set ourselves a yardstick for measuring our bowling and fielding against and if we can get close to maintaining this form we will be a tough team to beat.

WICKWASH

[Image is obviously Tongs four for... - Ed]