Poor Preparation Hampers First Day in Brisbane

Poor preparation dogged the first day of England's Ashes challenge down under leaving Wickman reeling at the end of the first day.

How could it happen? During the traditional warm up session, while the guys were netting, Botham was rabbiting on about the pitch and Bob Willis was no doubt frothing away about something completely non-sensical in a studio in West Middlesex, Wickman was in complete disarray.

Preparing for the first Ashes session of an Australian series is never normally problematic. You need to think about nutrition and hydration. Wickman booked himself and a cricket loving client into a decent restaurant to set about those issues but soon found himself under the cosh from the start.

A confident attempt at getting off the mark with a cheeky Reisling was cut off straight away by the sommelier who solemnly announced that there was a shortage. An attempt to force away a request for a solid looking Rioja was also intercepted by the same guy. We had to settle for an inferior Sauvignon blanc and a Malbec. Good wines both but not perfect.

The food - something to take you through to lunch at 2.00am - needed to stand up the rigours of 2 hour session. First up there's going to be a bit of moisture around and you need something to absorb it if you are going to avoid trips to the loo at vital moments. Venison loin just wasn't up the job leaving Wickman hopping from butt cheek to butt cheek during the first session later. Bread and butter pudding didn't sort the issue out. And a complimentary bottle of Muscat with the pudding left Wickman and guests over-hydrated

Transport to the ground was also an issue leaving Wickman 10 minutes from home with 8minutes until the first ball after a snafu in Knighstbridge. And horror of horrors when Wickman reached the sofa, turned on the telly and sat down he realised that Mrs W had removed the cushions and put them in the wash. Expecting a soft track which Wickman was well prepared for, he was instead confronted by one of the hardest decks you can imagine with ridges on a length and no give whatsoever.

Which left him in absoltuley no state to spectate the first over from Hilfenhaus so it was no surprise that Straussy wafted at the third ball and contributed to his sense of utter befuddlement. Soon the Muscat came back to bite leaving him totally nonplussed at the score on returning from the traps and having to watch Trotty play that horrible shot to Tommy Trundle's fifth ball.

Things would only get worse as the session progressed as snacks were now necessary to get through to lunch. Ditto coffee. By 2.30am it was all over as the combined stresses of the evening prompted a hypglaecemic episode and Wickman was luckily spared much of the post-tea carnage, comatose as he was.

Wickman has picked up valuable lessons for his preparation tonight. Eating is obviously cheating so he's off for a few jars in Soho...