About Sledging

A correspondent writes to Wickman in some agony asking for Wickman's view on sledging in the club game. He feels, he writes, remorse, over a particularly severe sledge delivered to someone much his junior. What, he asks Wickman, is the right amount of sledging? What guidelines exist? Is this my elbow or my arse, he asks?

Wickman has no strong view on sledging but provides the following for discussion rather than to be taken as Gospel.

Sledging is a tactic employed in cricket to put batsmen off their game. The more iron willed amongst you will have your concentration routines running, little tricks to get you focused and moving your feet, tics to get the bat coming down in the right arc etc. It's a legitimate tactic in this day and age to try to distract the batsman at this point. The rest of us are mostly thinking "mmmm tea is soon can't wait" or "cor look at that jogger, if I could catch her, I would definitely have a go" or "hell's teeth how embarrassing was THAT shot?" For us we just appreciate the conversation while we are out there to distract us from our muddled thoughts about batting.

This distraction then is what sledging is all about. Trying, within the spirit of the game, to calmly distract the batsman.

Step one - amusing banter
It would be a dull game if there was absolutely no banter between teams while they are out on the field. That should be the starting point. Banter is good. So much the better if the banter is funny, keeps the fielding side in good spirits and, hush Wickman's mouth, even entertains the opposition but still has the ability to get the bat thinking about the nonsense being spoken about. Delboy pointing out that the No 10 at Kingstonian didn't want to hang around because he was desperate for a pint of bitter was amusing in the extreme. It was clear that the oppo bat, advanced in years, wanted nothing more than a pint of bitter at that particular time. Even naked dancing girls would have had to wait for him to down a pint of London Pride, wipe the foam off his upper lip and rub his hands together and settle down to watch things that jiggle.

Step two - pointing out flaws in technique
We have all played the game now for many years and most of us will recognise that our game is not Test class. On this basis it may well be useful for the opposition, if, in a spirit of friendship, you point out basic errors in their technique. A jaunty "well left" after a bat has attempted to smite your spinner into the wilderness and missed by feet helps the oppo bat to think more carefully about timing and hand eye co-ordination. The occasional "Ooo dear" when someone attempts to drag one across the line or the well-intentioned "Mooooooo" when someone attempts that even more vigourously can help to remind the oppo to play straighter. This can have the added benefit of getting them out caught behind later on as they obviously can't play straight otherwise they wouldn't be trying to slog you to cow corner. "Sniff that" can also be employed if a batsman's eyesight and reactions have failed to the point where he was unable to take evasive action in time. This again is helpful to the batsman who may wish to be reminded that he has a helmet in the pavillion.

Step 3 - running commentary
This is particularly useful in the communications age. Many of us are now so dulled by television and radio commentary with its talk of cake, a little tickle between his legs etc etc that we find ourselves unable to describe the game in our own minds without the sagacity of an Atherton or the wit of an Aggers to keep us on the cricketing straight and narrow. A batsman beaten by swing will appreciate "he almost nicked that one" or "send him down a piano, he might be able to play that". He will also be pleased to hear that the bowler is generating a yard more pace, swinging it like your Dad at a wedding disco, moving it both ways including after the ball has passed the stumps. Opposition batsmen particularly appreciate having the ridge pointed out to them and, when a Millennium Wood scuttler does its scuttley stuff, they are, in Wickman's experience, grateful for the advice "best play back on this deck". Step 4 - Wickman's favourite - faux nostalgia
Wickman likes nothing more than to tell a batsman that he's glad to see certain shots (usually some form of dreadful hoick) safe from dying out and being lost to the game. This is normally occasioned with a sighing sound and the phrase "I'm soooo pleased to see that people are still playing that shot today. It's a tradition that shouldn't die out".

Who should sledge? Frankly any player who is close enough to the bat to be heard by the bat but not the officials. Largely it's the role of the 'keeper and the slips to keep up some incessant banter while keeping a weather eye on the skipper to make sure he's not tiring of it all. Often 'keepers will stand up to the stumps, risking teeth and bruises, just to impart some pearl of wisdom or to let go of an enthusiastic "ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" as a bat swishes at something and misses by six inches. This helps (see step 2) to convince the batsmen he needs to try to play the ball on merit, hopefully creating an edge. If nothing else it just annoys the hell out of the batsman.

Who should not be sledged? There are one or two in the game who like nothing more than a bit of banter. Miandad was one who preferred to socialise with the Oppo and Steve Waugh was rumoured to use the banter to concentrate. Best to ignore these. There is, closer to home, the incendiary Mellett of Old Sluts who is never slow to explode into unimaginable wrath and become like Trevor Bailey playing for his life. Again best avoid these characters. It can also, in league cricket, be considered indelicate to sledge callow youths unless it looks as if they can bat a bit. Just as confusing for them for you to engage in polite banter about who's bat they have borrowed (you can usually tell from the legend "xcc Colts U16 Sunday Team" written in inedelible marker down the spine) or some other trivia such as what time will Mummy be picking you up later?

Finally, racism is to be discouraged at all times, although mimicry of well known cricketing phrases uttered in other countries for comic effect (Shabbash, Shabbash when Coley is bowling and there is not an Asian on the field, Bowling Shane when someone like Tommy D bowls one of his straighter deliveries) should be permitted if not encouraged. It is also permitted to mimic commentators, obviously.

Wickman hopes this helps.