1. Lack of cricket
2. Not even trying to like cricket
3. No famous French cricketers
4. Otherwise sensible daughters who say "Daddy, here's some cricket" only to point, grinning, to a green French insect when you have got your hopes up
5. Steak Tartare at beach-side restaurants that gives you Delhi Belly
6. French waiters that reply in English. Yes Wickman knows his French is merde but at least he can afford to eat in your restaurant you turd
7. French waiters who detect your sarcasm and wipe raw chicken on your Steak Tartare
8. Papa - dirty bastard
9. Making horse look attractive in Butcher's shops (Boucherie - you are still learning)
10. Etc
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