Sunday 17 June 2007

Wickman's Old Suttonians 2s Match Report

HWRCC 2xi vs Old Suttonians

HWRCC 181-9 (42.4 overs) Doc Greenwood 48

Old Sluts 78-10 (35.4 overs) Shaun Whinney 5-24

HWRCC won by 103 runs - League table

Moore, Sayce, Ewen, Crane, Lofting, Clark*+, Whinney, Noor, Greenwood, Hill, Lown

HWRCC beat conditions

A risky gamble paid off on Saturday as Doc Greenwood recorded his highest league score to dig stand in skipper Clarky out of a hole that was deepening by the minute. Choosing to bat on a soaking pitch to make the most of later bowling conditions, the Wick collapsed to 25-4 before partnerships between MS (26) and Clarky (23) and Shaun (17) and Doc (48) built a more than adequate total on a strip that became harder to bat on as the day wore on.

A deluge that was almost biblical in proportion arrived at 1.15pm, just as Clarky was looking out the opposition skipper, Wrankmore, to do some coin agitation. The toss was delayed while the rain came down and drenched everything. Clark decided that on balance – given the strength of the bowling attack – that he would prefer the Wick to bowl with a dry ball and the only way to have any chance of that was to bat first. It was also the only way that the game was going to get started if the home side took the obviously damp conditions on.

On winning the toss then, much to the opposition’s surprise, HWRCC batted. The decision began to look foolish as Moore edged behind to swell Duck Tax coffers, Sayce top edged a pull and was caught at fine leg and an uncharacteristically cautious Cranesy lobbed one to mid off, stopping his shot for the first time in living memory. When Ewen, who displayed much grit, was brilliantly caught at point / gully, the opposition could rightfully claim to be on top.

However – and perhaps Wickman will cause a heated debate – none of the wickets to fall thus far could be attributed to the state of the pitch. Granted it was not comfortable batting out there, but it was to be a whole lot worse for the opposition as the pitch dried and began to cut up rough like Staffordshire-Bull-Terrier-owning-hoodies in a North London housing estate. Lofting and Clark, while never well set, took advantage of some average bowling, both driving with some style once they had become used to the pace. Clark pulled one young tyro for a large six. Lofting smashed the ball back over another’s head repeatedly. And then a mini-disaster.

Lofting, turning for a second like a dog chasing its tail, pulled his hammy. Some comedy ensued as a bit of yes, no, yes, no “running” occurred in the middle of the pitch, but eventually everyone got home and the damage could be inspected. It was not good. MS retired to find some ice. Shaun joined Clarky and for a few overs they proceeded sedately to put up a decent score before Clark was totally undone by one that came back further than Hugh Grant did from career obscurity after he paid for a quick helmet shine in LA. At this point we were shy of a decent total with our batting either dead or wounded. Billy didn’t last long, spooning one back to the bowler, and in strode Doc.

Crumbs. Criminy. Yoinks. Lawks-a-mercy etc. This was boys own stuff reminiscent of a Victor comic or similar. Doc just biffed the ball all over the park. Clark, hoping to set 140, suddenly watched as the scoreboard revolved quicker than the reels on a fruit machine as Doc pulled and smashed his way towards what would have been a very well-deserved 50. His only blemish was to call Shaun through for a very tight single which Shaun failed to complete. Oh and skying one only for the bowler - too keen by half all day and not trusting his compatriots - to call for the catch and never get anyone near it despite at least two teammates being almost directly underneath it. After that, along with Hilly who made a muscular 10 not out, he completely dominated chasing 180 from 42 overs – the target set by a now rather cheerful Clarky. He eventually perished to his first miscue, caught form the shot that were it middled would have taken him to the magic number. It only remained for Lownsy to come to the wicket for the first time this season and play a very authentic sweep shot to bring up the 180 from 42.4. The declaration was made to preserve Dom’s average of infinity.

Ben Mellett for the opposition, a colt, was an impressive performer for Old Sluts. He will take the wickets of worse batsmen than Moore and Lofting in his career. Wellapilli used the conditions well also, making it difficult for the top order to score. Perhaps though, he could disguise his quicker ball slightly better. It wasn’t so much the signal at the beginning of the run as the doubling of run-up pace that gave it away...

Tea. 6/10. Same old.

If Old Sluts had been able to damage our top order with mostly on the spot sub-military-medium stuff, then it seemed self evident that Shaun and Muzzy – both a yard or two quicker and both much taller – would be very difficult to play on a what was now a quickly drying wicket.

In no time at all OS’s top order were back in the hutch, two caught behind (one off an impossible to deal with rearing ball from a good length from Shaun, the other playing an expansive drive from a super ball from Muzi). Then a fantastic moment. Crane, doing short leg, caught the dangerous Mellett Snr off the full face by staying low and demonstrating fantastic technique. 12-3 and the pitch looked lethal. It was a progression after that until Nichols and James shored things up.

Regular bowling changes followed to break up opposition rhythm and Doc and Lownsy both took wickets. Neither they nor Ewen could locate consistent length to make the bats play though and the skipper turned to Hill who rewarded him with the remarkable figures of 6-4-7-2. Considering that five came from one no ball this was fantastic bowling for the conditions. At the stumps, in-swinging Yorkers in the main, which did enough to break a stubborn eighth wicket partnership (Mellett B again displaying real fight with James), Hill was the pick of the change bowlers.

Shaun was brought back to finish things with overs running down and he removed Mellett B to end the match. This was not before some regrettable controversy occurred which had been brewing ever since Mellett Snr came out to umpire. A fellow that could start a fight, alone, in a phone box (see pic of Casa Mellett), he’d accused the Wick 1s, and Clark in particular, of cheating in the corresponding fixture last year. Knowing this, the Wick had been instructed not to talk to him at all when he batted and to keep as quiet as possible between deliveries as any incidental chat seemed to rile him. He batted reasonably well last year in a dogged rearguard and Clark wanted to ensure that he wasn’t wound up to do the same this time.

However this is the type that will come out to umpire in club games once he has no other role to play to make sure he’s still involved. It’s why you should always bring an umpire if you possibly can because they will probably not have two colt sons batting in the later overs and shouldn’t have an axe to grind. His petty involvement began by widing Dick unnecessarily. He then held back bowlers over fussily if anyone was talking as the bowler was reaching his mark. Here was a man seeking confrontation.

His opportunity eventually arose when Shaun unfortunately – as he had done a few times already to other bats – pitched one near his own toes and bounced it over the head of Mellett’s 13 year old son. It was unfortunate because the lad was not of great stature and this was a very difficult wicket now to keep the ball below bail height. Had we had Delboy in the side he would have been on at this point which would have taken all room for argument out. Unfortunately this short ball was delivered despite repeated and plaintive exhortations during the preceding twenty overs to all the Wick bowlers to try to pitch it up an extra yard to hit the stumps. There was no intent and everyone on the field knew it. Shaun himself was disappointed that he’d let such filth go and apologised immediately.

This prompted volleys of abuse from Mellett and threats to knock the bowler’s head off etc etc. At that point placatory words were said by the skipper to no avail as the tirade continued. Further attempts to pour oil on troubled waters failed between the overs as he then effectively accused the Wick of gamesmanship.

What an example to set the three Colts playing. One of them followed it and started dishing out verbals to the fielders, imagining that slights were being exchanged and this was the way to play cricket. Shamefully, not a single Old Sutt made the trip up the stairs to the bar for a pint afterwards and Mellett was the quickest out of the blocks since Ben Johnson won Gold in 6 or so seconds all those years ago and was surprised to find that he was more doped up on steroids than a champion bodybuilder. All pretty pathetic and frankly the victory was all the sweeter for it. Let us hope that the 2s can get out of this division so that we never have to play against this unfortunate again.

The game was played by all apart from him in good spirit and without edge until his interventions. But the 20 points fall to us on a weekend when Guildford City did us a favour and beat Merrow to leave us… 20 points ahead of the field. There’s a lot to be said for this victory. We won the game batting first on a difficult surface. We toughed it out to give ourselves the best of the conditions to bowl in. And we stuck to the task of winkling out a side that were never in the game and stopped going for it very early. And much better value for our match fees than doing it the other way around.

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