Monday 30 March 2009

Kevin Pietersen "not a politician"

Is Kevin Pietersen the new Andrew Strauss? I ask this question because, in the last few days, Kevin has been coming out with more and more absurd comments about cricket - to wit, the England team in general.

Just a few days ago, Kevin said (speaking on England captaincy):

"After the way I was let down I just don't think I want to get involved in that again. Being England captain means you have to be a politician and that's something I'm not"

Was there ever any suggestion that Kevin Pietersen was a politician? I've always seen him as a cricketer i must admit, but this latest revelation has me baffled. Could it be that, behind closed doors, Andrew Strauss is working with the Prime Minister on the expected fall out from this week's G20? Is Indian captain Dhoni advising their PM on how to seal off the Pakistani border, or prevent fighting in Kasmir? Maybe Chris Gayle is unearthing the financial mess of the Alan Stanford debacle? If this is the case, i "dips me lid" to all of them.

Wickman Junior

Strauss is now the "real deal" as captain

Well, it may have taken three or four months to get there, but Andrew Strauss has finally shown some bottle as England cricket captain. Following his bizarre comments before and during the current tour of the West Indies, such as:

"We're in a scrap. The only way to get out of a scrap is to scrap." "KP will score millions of runs" "We need to get back to what we do best: playing cricket and winning matches" (etc....)

Andrew now appears to have laid down the line to the team's renegade player Kevin "FIGJAM" Pietersen. In recent days, Kevin has aired some pretty strong views, calling Samit Patel (the likeable tubby spinner) "fat and lazy", hanging detritus on Shiv Chanderpaul, and now saying that he's at "the end of his tether". It seems like KP has finally realised that no one likes him in the dressing room and he's thought "bugger it i'm going to say what i think".

Strauss is having none of it. According to reports in the Murdoch press, Strauss told KP to "shut up" and get back to "playing cricket". It remains to be seen how KP, now regarded as the "Shannon Matthews" of the cricket team will take to these words. He might need to be kept on that leash for a little while longer.

Wickman Junior

Tuesday 24 March 2009

Website Looking Good

Pay a quick visit to the parent site if you have a moment. Kirky and his glamorous assistant Fudgey have done legendary work in spring cleaning hwrcc.co.uk. Nice! Well done Kirky. Garf's fantastic design has never looked better!

[Here's a picture of Garf after he inadvertently decided to check out how full the septic tank was two Natwests ago]

NatWest Cricket Weekend - April 4th - What can you do?

Plans are at an advanced stage for Natwest cricket force weekend. Interest from the sponsors themselves means that this year the tasks we have set ourselves will be more ambitious than usual.

The old nets are to be torn up in preparation for the new bases to be laid the following weekend. Those batting members who have been castled by shooters from trundlers like Clarky and Matty D over the years will be ready with the pickaxes no doubt.

The entire clubhouse needs to be painted again on the outside.

Carpetting is being replaced upstairs after years of dribbling members spilling their London Pride and Nelson droppings onto the carpet.

Flagpoles are being refurbished.

The bar is being deep cleaned (Wickman does look forward to being about to go behind the bar without the telltale skritch of shoe sole on sticky floor).

The changing rooms are being spruced up with a lick of paint and the mens' loos too. Rumour has it that DBW is even retiling and decorating the ladies' loos. How civilised!

The thing is... we need your help. Outside volunteers - from Natwest - will be turning up for the day and we need to show some muscle (or painting skills) as well. There's a lot of preparatory work to do and a great deal of square footage to cover. The committee hopes that you will donate at least half a day to the cause of smaretening the club up and getting it ready for the season.

Please make a pledge via email to dominic_lown@hotmail.com of what you can do on the day or how much time you can give us.

[Here is a picture of a previous Natwest Cricket Force team exhausted after a long day's hard effort - Ed]

New Season Kit Announced

The committee has announced that the new season kit is available now. Tattoos in club colours only please. Apply to Nick for pantone colours.

Wednesday 11 March 2009

Wick in Fire Drama - No One Hurt

Firefigters were called last night to extinguish a fire that threatened to engulf The Wick. The 145 year old cricket club, which was razed to the ground by fire in the 1980s, was yesterday threatened by a blaze in an outhouse in the neighbouring Hamtpon Wick allotments.

An ashen faced (Wickman imagines) Chairman Keith Nichols said of the incident "Having visited the club all I can say is that we are lucky to still have a pavillion. The building on the other side of the wall is completely gutted. The guttering on the pavillion has melted in the heat and the TV dish burnt. The fire brigade hosed the rear roof to prevent the fire spreading. They broke into the pavillion, breaking a couple of doors to check for occupancy."

The club had a narrow escape. The diesel tank is directly adjacent to the wall and there is only a metre gap between the allotment building and the club.

Supporters of the club were relieved to hear that the building was largely unscathed. The Wick's one permanent resident, Frank Henry Bean, was said to be resting comfortably despite the ordeal.

["Here we go again" - Frank Henry Bean]

Monday 9 March 2009

Nam... Cheltenham

For those Gentlemen amongst us who enjoy the sporting life, Wickman recommends the work of his old chum The Analyst to you in this, Cheltenham week. As The Analyst would say "get on"!

[Here's the last horse that Wickman backed at Cheltenham - Ed]

New 2s Vice Captain Appointed

Luke Webster is to be the new vice skipper of the HWRCC 2xi. Webster, a former 1s skipper and vital cog in the 2s wheel last season, will provide valuable insight to skipper David Fudge and takes over from Nick Clark who has retired to spend more time with his family.

Friday 6 March 2009

Fitness, food, cricket and rugby, almost heaven...

With the recent attendance of Alex Tudor at Sunday nets promoting such eagerness and motivation from many members old and new to the Wick, the perfect opportunity arose to organise the first fitness session of the season on Saturday February 28th.

Tudor suggested that every person coming was to have water with them and should be prepared to see their breakfast again! During my journey to the Wick, I couldn't quite comprehend his descriptions of activities that he had lined up, all that stood out to me was “Pain, vomit and hard work”.

Armed with more cones than the Highways agency and a smile that knew only too well the pain that was about to be inflicted, Tudor found himself in the unusual role of the pre-season punisher and not fitness victim as usual. The naive showed for their 1230 prompt start, some even bringing their batting gear. “Batting gear to a fitness session?” I asked myself, "what arrogant little sods". The guilty were fresh from a term of school bleep tests and cross country round Richmond park, Harry ‘Mums and Dads’ Copeland and another who has recently departed from his role of PT in the army, Tom ‘Protection is key’ Crowther. Showing true Wick experience I could only say one thing, “Boys put your pads on” as part of the outfield was transformed into what looked like a golf driving range, balls scattered all over the place.

This could only mean one thing - it was up to the naive to go for a run and retrieve them... Fit as a butcher’s dog is an expression that will not be used to describe how we were looking. Retrieving balls and taking them back to their owner, we must have appeared like a pack of retired sheep dogs not your average butcher dog. Constant sprints, turning, bending down with regular but short breaks lead to a rapid build up of lactic acid in muscles that have not been used by many since early September. This started the excuses, subtle trips back to the clubhouse and shares in Lucozade to increase rapidly. Credit must go to those who turned up as they encouraged, persisted and portrayed that never give up attitude that is all so important when the going gets tough on the cricket pitch.

Apres fitness included food, cricket, rugby and the late comers. In true Wick style, as soon as the the kettle was on, members started to show for a feed. It was great to see the likes of Alison, the only member so far to lose weight over the winter, chairman Nicholls with his positive comments, “Is that it? You’ve only been out there for an hour”, new faces Sri Lankan Chris and his friend (be warned they appear to have real potential and appear to be as keen as Matty D with his new Newbury “Grizzly” bat). Tudor, Goldy, Tommy D, Parks, Razza, Ford, Nath, Kirk, Leggsy, Linter, Monkey, Vader and others all enjoyed a protein feast of Joey’s jerk chicken, plantain and rice. Going on feedback this will have to be repeated as we worked our way through 15kg of chicken, well done Goldy and Monkey for eating 3kg each.

Good fortune favoured those who tried - we eventually got Sky Sports working which opened my eyes to the cynical system that allows test players to signal a technical timeout with their forearms, the referral system. It truly proves by not using technology to its full and still entrusting in humans to make decisions then the obvious will happen, human error. If the technology is there should we trust it or keep the tradition and let errors even out? As far as we’re concerned I’m sure we will never have three umpires at the Wick let alone the technology.

To my pleasant surprise Ronan O’Gara’s boot was on the same form as the third umpire in Barbados. Never has indiscipline, lack of creativity and poor kicking ever been prominent in an international game between two sides that on paper should be firing on all cylinders. Friday brought the opportunity for Ireland to become the only ones still on for the grand slam, were they fired up? Did they take their chance? Hardly. On the other hand England tried their upmost to encourage Ireland to flourish and rack up a score similar to that in Barbados. England looked the full part of a team that was managed by a man who has never managed, places his pressures onto his squad trying to force the unachievable. Did anyone really think that Croke Park was the fortress in which Johnsons bulldog puppies could record their second win of the tournament? At odds of 5-2 last week Ireland looked in a very appealing position for the grand slam, however the inevitable question remained, could they defeat the Welsh?

It simply remains that Johnson has got 2 wins from 7 and indiscipline rather than confidence is following through his players veins. What can change? Is Twickenham going to save us and Johnson against France (15th) and Scotland (21st)?

For those who missed out or want to do it again there will be another fitness session at the Wick on Saturday 14th March starting at 1300. It would be great to see as many of you there as possible.

Ginger Wick

[A Butcher's Dog - Ed]

Wednesday 4 March 2009

NATWEST CRICKETFORCE WEEKEND 4TH & 5TH APRIL

YOUR CLUB NEEDS YOU!!

Natwest Cricket Force is a national campaign run by the ECB to help clubs improve their facilities with the help of volunteers, donations and a bit of hard work..

This will be the 3rd year which we are participating in cricketforce. Those of you who have participated before know how much can get done over the weekend to help improve our club.

This year, we are wanting to achieve the following:

- Paint the outside of the clubhouse and balconies - Paint the changing room floors - Repair the entrance to the car park - Prepare the nets area prior to their refurbishment - Clear out of downstairs and the bar area

What we are asking for is for you to give up some of your weekend to help out. We will be starting work at 9.30am on saturday until around 430pm. Depending on how much gets done decides if we come back in on sunday.. Without being too obvious, the more people we can get down to help on saturday, the more we can get done. Last year we had about 15 volunteers. There are over 60 playing adult members and 100+ colts so I know we can do better then that, even if it is only for a couple of hours there will be something for you to help out on.

Lunch, teas and coffees will be provided on the day, as well as a t shirt for you to work in. Please make every effort to come down and help out around the club. The benefits are for everyone.

Finally, if you are able to offer a specific skill on the day (carpentry, plumbing etc) please get in touch with Dom (dominic_lown@hotmail.com) so we can make the most of your skills.

Tuesday 3 March 2009

Is Cricket Belgium's Summer Game?

Years ago when Aggers came up with the classic wind up that Hertz van Rentyl was a threatening quickie in the Dutch team England were about to face in some pointless one day game this was about the funniest cricket story ever to involve the low countries.

Now it transpires that the pleghmish (spelling?) may have invented cricket. Flemish weavers, not the besmocked English peasants of my Ladybird Book of Cricket, were thrashing rocks about with Shepherd's crooks it seems and because some obscure old English word which sounds like "cricket" sounds more likely to have been from Northern Belgium "crekettes" or some such we all have to roll over and accept that Hertz and his pals made the game up. The same guys reckon those craaaazy Belgians also came up with golf. Well they would, wouldn't they. And how brilliant they all are at cricket and golf now.

The research comes from a German and an Australian. Wickman can hardly think of two nations who would be most keen to strip the English of a bit of heritage so he'll be taking this report with a large pinch of nacl. And get this - part of the evidence they cite is "I was brought up with Flemish children and I know the language well. I immediately thought of the Flemish phrase 'met de krik ketsen' which means to 'chase a ball with a curved stick'." That's not cricket. That's HOCKEY. Maybe they made that up as well! At least the Dutch are pretty good at it. Or they were a while ago.

It's not April Fools Day so Wickman is going to take some deep breaths and relax and remind himself that even if, as John Skelton says in his match report of the time which the research quotes that the Flemish weavers (who were in England at the time) were "kings of crekettes" it would hardly be the last time that a touring team had come to our shores and smoked us at our national game. It might have been the first time, but not the last...

501 Not Out

That was quite a momentous post to get to 500 with. Now the blog is 501 not out. Many thanks to all the contributors for their tireless work.

[Here's a picture of a guy that got to 501* but he simply wasn't good enough to take it any further - Ed]

Terrorists attack cricketers in Lahore

Back in December while England were debating whether to return to India after the Mumbai attacks, Michael Atherton said they were safe to go back because terrorists don't attack cricketers. We wrote about it here.

Unfortunately terrorists now do attack cricketers. They may only currently do it on Pakistani soil, but they do.

Wiser commentators than Wickman will say that International cricket will not be played in Pakistan again. And Wickman can't see, now that sportsmen are a legitimate target for fundamentalists, how any major sporting event can be held in Pakistan for the foreseeable future.

This is a truly sad day for cricket and Wickman extends the blog's sympathies (if you can have such things) to the families of those who died to protect the cricketers while they went around the business of trying to entertain.

Wickman is looking forward to Atherton's piece tomorrow. Should be interesting.