Friday 15 June 2007

The dangers of cricketing injuries

This is why a lid is essential. This is Mark Vermeulen the former Zimbabwean test player. There is a growing school of thought that believes Vermeulen should be encased in a straight jacket and thrown into a very soft cell so he cannot cause further damage to his already strained brain.

Vermeulen has a colourful list of cricketing misdeamenours. In a recent case against him - for attempting to burn down the Zimbabwean Cricket Academy, he has cited the blow he received to the head [as seen in pic above] as the reason for his odd behaviour. When you have a national leader like Mugabe though, it's not difficult to see why you might have a touch of frustration to vent.

Here is a list of some of his antics:

1) Getting banned from school cricket having walked off with the stumps after receiving a poor lbw decision and locking himself in the changing room.

2) Sent home during the second Test of the 2003 England tour when, after becoming only the 13th man in Test history to record a pair on the same day of a match, ignored a management instruction to travel with the rest of the squad on the coach, instead choosing to leave the ground on his own.

3) Refusing to stop a ball at Hove because "it was too cold"

4) Throwing first a cricket ball and then a boundary marker at a spectator who'd annoyed him by pointing out that he might bowl better if he took his sunglasses off.

5) Burning down the Zimbawean Cricket Academy

In short, Mark Vermeulen is a mentalist. I believe the wonderful reporters at King Cricket got in trouble for saying this, but he's even claiming it himself in his case for the defence, apparently...

What is worrying me though is the injuries already sustained at the club this year. There was Garf falling in the Cess pit, Fudgey's broken ankle, Mackie's hangover.... all these could have serious repercussions.

And remember kids..... always wear a lid! You don't want to end up like 'Mad apparently' Mark Vermeulen

2 comments:

Wickman said...

I think, under point 5, you meant that he was formally accused of burning it down.

Anonymous said...

Can i just take the opportunity to thank Garth for highlighting such a story? This is the sort of stuff that won't be printed in the "mainstream media".

Great reporting - keep it up. Let's hope that no one at the Wick takes heed of this sort of insanity.