Sunday, 9 September 2007

Sledging. When it's right, it's right

When Hibby arrived at the crease on Saturday he was reminded of the James Ormond classic sledge to Mark Waugh that at least he, Ormond, was the best cricketer in his own family by the close fielders.

You aren't kidding. Today little brother James Hibberd hit 157 from 47 balls in a national 2020 competition. He took four wickets too. He guided his side into the final.

In one over he hit the first five balls for six, the sixth was a wide and the seventh went for a one-bounce four. Awesome stuff.

Amusingly this might make Hibberd J a world champion as organisers believe that 157 might be the highest 2020 score made at the level being played... A Hibberd as world champion... where have we heard that before...

Thursday, 6 September 2007

Chairman's vs President's - Match of the Season II

Here Chairman N is overcome by the fumes of victory last year. He's hoping for a repeat. So he has picked... Chairman Nicholls, Fudge, Stephens, High, Golby, Mackie, Lown, Hibberd, Davies, Ford, Whinney, Zam Tughral, Cameron

Tuesday, 4 September 2007

All the President's Men

Sissen, Lofting, Moore, McCarthy, Culham, Smith, Ewen, Ewen, Godhania, Clark+(ats), Collier, Unsworth, Kamran

Chairman's vs President's - Match of the Season

Chairman's vs President's is this Saturday at The Wick. This is the format. Accept no substitutes:

PLEASE NOTE START TIME
Start time: 12.30
13 per side with 2 nominated as specialist bats/bowlers (can only do one or the other)
Captains have to participate 100%
Fullers League rules
Duck Tax applies
JT to umpire Tea: Charge £5
Chairman and President providing BBQ + drinks (£250) (ww)
DJ Fudgey Fudge on the decks
Invite to all members + females

Monday, 3 September 2007

The world hasn't stopped turning

Wickman is surprised. On Sunday morning it felt as if the world had stopped turning. We were up. Promoted. Chased down a winning draw total when the confidence was draining away. It seemed just slightly possible that Lingfield could win and dump us back down in 2divII and then half the team would have resigned from the club and drowned themselves in the Thames.

It felt good.

But by Sunday afternoon the prospect that the World had stopped turning was frightening. Good God! If the world had stopped turning and Olinda Vandals and Valley End had first use of the Wick strip what kind of nightmare Groundhog Day would that be? Imagine that Bill Murray was a venerable Wick member. Let's say Bill Murray was playing Sisso in the story of The Day The World Stopped Turning At The Wick.

What would happen to Sisso? The first time he turned up and couldn't get a game he'd have had a couple of sharpeners, placed a few bets and wandered home. And then, if you'v seen the film, it would start again the next day. And the next. And the day after that. Sisso would be drinking and placing bets for days on end. In fact, knowing Sisso, it would be quite some time before he tired of it.

Eventually though, he would. And what then? Try to get a game for one of the sides? Hope, as Wickman used to do against hope, that he would turn up to a cricket game and find the oppo one short? A call would go out to the crowd for a decent player and Billo (see what Wickman did there) would volunteer, crack a brisk 60 and take 4 for?

Or, finding that there were 22 players, umpires, scorers and even a surfeit of drinkers, would he then be forced to nobble an oppo player? How would he do it and cover it up? Dump them down the cesspit?

Luckily the World hasn't stopped. Which means its Chairman's vs President's this weekend and that there is only half a year to go until the new League season starts in May.

Perhaps the World will be hit by a meteorite, speeeeeeeed up for six months and then get hit by one going in the opposite direction and be slowed down on May 1. Or something. Please.

Sunday, 2 September 2007

2s Promoted in run a ball finale

Old Hamptonians vs HWRCC 2xi HWRCC won the toss and chose to field OH – 230-4 Speakman 95, Carson 91* Ford 25.5-4-110-3 HWRCC 216-6 Clark 60, Fudge 47, Goulborn 40

HWRCC Winning draw, 7 points and promotion

Wick seal promotion the hard way with thrilling run chase

So let’s get it over with at the beginning. After topping the table for every day of the season apart from the last HWRCC didn’t quite deliver the killer blow to Old Hamptonians that would have mad them champions. Does it matter? It certainly didn’t yesterday evening as the champagne and Britneys flowed as we celebrated a richly deserved promotion. And today, through the blur of a monster hangover, it doesn’t matter either. Okay – so we don’t get a shiny bauble to go on the club shelf for a year – but we’re up to 2ndxi Division 1 and hopefully we’ve left behind the boring, negative cricket of Division 2 for ever. See ya Mellett. NOT.

Would we have taken promotion at the expense of the championship at the beginning of the day? Hell Yes. Did we fight our arses off to stay in the game and try to win? You bet we did. Was it the best game of cricket of the season? It was certainly up there with the Guilford City and Lingfield games – perhaps though – because we only drew – it isn’t quite as satisfying as those two results were. Ultimately we got out of gaol in this game and could have taken a nightmare beating if it wasn’t for some do or die batting at the death.

Yes, with seven overs to go, we were 50 runs adrift of the Winning Draw total of 204 and 75 runs away from a win. The only things in the Wick’s favour was that OH’s strip had been under the covers for a week and was a dry as a bone. For some reason, despite cloud cover, the ball hadn’t swung much all afternoon and the boundaries were generously short. But how had we got ourselves into this position?

Old Hamptonians were inserted by skipper Fudge. Last week on the same square 20 wickets fell for approximately 110 runs so The Wick could reasonably hope to have restricted Old Hamptonians to 180. However this was obviously not the same track. This one was an absolute runway. No one managed to do much with the ball all day and there was surprisingly little bounce either. Yep, it was true, flat and it soon became clear that it was a pleasure to bat on. The outfield was lush, but the grass was short enough to ensure the bats got just reward for their shots.

OH proceeded to 57 before losing a wicket and the signs were ominous. Both openers, Blair and Speakman, played their shots. Speakman was lucky to survive a spilled chance in the gully and a couple of his earlier boundaries reached third man having passed through vacant slip areas at catchable height. However he hit the ball very hard and soon raced to a 50. Blair was pretty adjacent early on but as is the fashion the appeal was declined and it took a good catch by Del in the deep off Fordy to send him back. If the Wick thought the removal of Blair would herald a wicket-fest they were very wrong. The second wicket partnership took OH to 173!

Speakman and Carson batted very well on what was obviously a fantastic deck to bat on. With the ball not deviating at all once the shine had departed we were wondering where a wicket would come from. Of the bowlers Ford was economical until Carson got after him later on. Lofting took to bowling dead straight and at the stumps. This paid off when the unlucky Speakman swept at a ball that pitched on leg stump and hit it. Lofting’s line had inconvenienced him as he had used width on the off side to great effect throughout his innings. He fell for 95.

Carson drove fiercely all afternoon and played some particularly good shots through the offside. Everything was struck firmly. He gave only one chance when he had reached 60ish but the unlucky fielder lost the ball out of the background and didn’t even get a hand to it. Fordy took two more wickets, one bowled, one a dubious LBW and OH declared after 50.5 overs. The declaration, at 230, looked to be slightly too late and perhaps ten runs too many but in fact it was perfectly judged as The Wick would come close to overhauling it in 45 overs and might have won if set 220.

The boys did well in the field, conceding only 3 wides. We could have conceded many more runs but for spirited running and leather chasing. The missed chances cost us runs and if we had not been promoted on the back of this result there would be some red faces in the wash-up because we’ve dropped far too many in the last few weeks. Let’s face it, the Championship should have been wrapped up by now were it not for the spills. But this performance was only really deficient in one area. We only picked up one bowling point and this would cost us the bragging rights and the pennant. In fact just one more wicket would have given us the title but we were not to take it. It also meant that to be certain of promotion we HAD to make the winning draw target of 204 as a minimum requirement.

Tea was okay. A bit dull. A bit tense frankly. There were donuts I suppose, but it really was only a 6.

HWRCC’s reply got off to an entertaining and breezy start. Golby and Fudgey looked in very good nick. You can always tell with Golby. If he nails one of his square cuts – which he did early on – you know he’s seeing it like a football. Some fine leg glances off middle and leg showed timing too. Fudge was in brutal form again and was seeing it like a basketball painted luminous yellow. He charged the first change man Tupilo and hit him for a flat six into the sightscreen. So it was a surprise when Golby, having made 40, missed a straight full toss trying to hit it through midwicket with the score on 78 and then Fudgey (47) dragged one on trying to sweep the impressive Blair with the score on 96. This was not going to plan.

Mackie and Hibby replaced the openers and Mackie in particular looked to be in good form. But disaster struck with the introduction of offspinner Brown. Turning his first ball from outside off just enough to encourage Hibberd to drag it on we were 116-3 and sitting uncomfortably. There was not much time for anyone to catch their breath as Mackie middled one to second slip next over and we were in serious trouble. This was not going to plan at all.

Charlie and Clarky then strapped on the pads with the Wick needing 114 for victory at round about 6 an over. Actually we needed 91 just to get the winning draw. This was tense stuff. Clarky edged Brown just past the leg stump to cause alarm when he had scored only one run. Charlie hit a massive six and exocet four and looked well set, but perished bowled trying to slog sweep Brown into Somerset. Oh dear…

Del started slowly and the game began to swing towards OH as overs 32 to 38 produced a meagre 19 runs. And then in over 39 things began to go the Wick’s way. Clarky took 12 off the returning Blair. Offspinner Brown was then despatched all over the oval to concede 15 runs in his final over, a cover driven four from Clark, all along the ground, is making Wickman stiff just thinking about it and a lofted six over cow the icing on that over’s cake.

And after that it was just a question of getting across the line. New bowler Lizeri made the mistake of pitching one up in his first over which was used to nearly decapitate Hibberd (officiating) and rattle up another four and then Del and Nick scampered runs until we were safe. There might have been time to win the game but Blair conceded only 5 runs from his last two overs as the boys struggled to get him away and there were too many needed at the start of the last. 18 were needed off the last three balls and Clark holed out seeking the first of them, draw ensured.

Wickman can tell you with some authority that this one felt as much like a win as you can without actually scoring more runs than the oppo. It was a great game which has largely restored Wickman’s faith in the Fullers format. This was no bore draw with one side blocking it out for 15 overs while the other grows more impatient by the minute. And for once both sides tried to win the game all the way through, didn’t moan and whinge, there was no threat to murder anyone or any boring cricket played all day and friendly banter all round. This was cricket played as it should be. Frankly we all remember the sides that have come to the Wick this year and played negative, dull cricket. Wickman is glad that we finished with a thriller. We wish OH all the luck next year. They, along with Merrow, Lingfield and Guildford, know how to play the game.

It only remains, for this report, to award MOM. Wickman is genuinely split between Clarky’s debut league half and Fordy’s marathon 155 ball spell. We’ll leave it there…

There will, in the fullness of time, be a report on the whole season to savour but right now Wickman would like to say a big thank you to everyone involved in the 2s this year. We set out to go through the year unbeaten and only looked like losing once. Won 8 drawn 4 (all winning draws) and 4 abandoned is a good return. Congratulations to skipper Fudgey in his first year as skipper for doing what he said he would – get us up!

Vive le Wick!

Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Friday, 31 August 2007

Twas the night before...

So here Wickman finds himself. Nervous for the 2s. There will be some people playing tomorrow who will never have been in a game where the outcome means promotion or not before.

When the newspapers write about this stuff what they never point out is that its not just about the 11 players that have the privilege of actually playing the game that could decide whether it's a good season, an average season or a game that makes no difference one way or another.

Tomorrow 11 players get to enjoy (hopefully, oh hopefully) a moment that they will never forget. Sealing promotion to the next division up.

But over the course of the season 33 players have made a material contribution to the promotion push. David Fudge, Nick Clark, Matthew Goulborn, Paul Sayce, Mike Lofting, Mike Forbes, Charlie High, Alex Wright, Paul Hibberd, Ian Taylorson, Mustafa Billy Noor, Nevil Tideswell, David Ford, Ted Goodwin, Tom Donnelly, Andrew Moore, Copeland Mi, Kirk Laight, Derek Soppitt, Mark Mackie, Shaun Whinney, Alex Jackson, Ian Greenwood, Richard Cole, Derek Nicholas, James Cameron, Adam Crane, Richard Ewen, John Hill, Nick Doddy, Jack Marfleet and Dominic Lown.

One is missing from this list. A small prize if you email Wickman with the name of the individual who played 2s but doesn't make it onto PlayCricket...

So those who are playing tomorrow - there are 22 people behind you who want to share in a good result tomorrow night and who expect you to deliver.

Do it for yourselves and then tell them you did it for them... that's cricket...

Thursday, 30 August 2007

Merrow's double title push

Merrow will be watching the Old Hamptonians result only slightly less keenly than Wickman. A club going places, Merrow's 1s have won 1stxi Division II this year and their 2s currently lie 12 points behind The Wick in 2ndxi Division II.

The 2s all enjoyed our half game with Merrow this year (if you remember it was ended by a deluge). They play the game the way we do, with a bit of banter and chirp rather than the homicidal mania of Old Sluts or the 'oh my god I will end it all after the game'-ness of Basilmere and checking out their website and facebook page you can see that the same buzz which has infected The Wick has got them going too.

It really shows what is necessary to get a club out of The Fullers, whichever division. Passion, commitment, enthusiasm and an infectious desire to improve. Oh and they can play cricket too, obviously. It's also Merrow's 150th anniversary this year. What a tribute to the club that they've revitalised the cricket side in this auspicious year...

In line with the elephant trap scenarios, they could even be champions of both divisions if we slip up. They are at home to Ewhurst, so, weather permitting, you would expect them to gain 20 points against a side that has lost more games this year than the eventual champions will win. To remind you we need a minimum of 9 points to stop them.

Good luck in your game boys. And let's hope we see you next year... because if we don't one of us will have found themselves in an elephant trap...

Wednesday, 29 August 2007

Elephant traps

An elephant trap is, probably, a big hole in the ground which swallows big beasts up. Is there an elephant trap in store for the Wick 2s this week at Old Hamptonians? Wickman outlines some scary scenarios in the run up to the biggest game since the 1s went to Guildford needing four points at the end of last season and got... four points.

This weekend sees the culmination of the season in a fixture at Old Hamptonians. 20 points will be more than enough. 10 points will do. As will 9. 8 will get us up but might not make us champions (the rules are dull, dull, dull - must research this). 7 and 6 points would get us promoted. 5 MIGHT not (those rules again).

So how could we get 5 points or less?

Route one: Rain. Localised rain that forces an abandonment that doesn't take out Lingfield and Merrow. Look some odd shit has gone down this year. Wickman doesn't put it past the weather to intervene and do freaky things. We've had 4 games abandoned already and the rain affected the Southbank game too which would have been won had the heavens not openened. We could only get four points and miss out by one piont... ohWickman'sGodnooooooooooo....

Route two: Old Hamptonians dick on us. They are a good club with good players. They finished above us last year. Hell they could skittle us and take us down with only a few wickets lost. How that would hurt...

Route three: We only score something like 155 and then can't get them more than 5 down and they get the winning draw. It is hardening Wickman's arteries just thinking about it.

Route four: OH pile on the runs and bat us out of the game for about 3 down. We collapse under the pressure and don't get even to 180.

Hell's teeth! You don't need Stephen sodding Spielberg to get busy with the script to see that there are some really big elephant traps here.

It's not easy.

However I prefer to think that bat first we'll have enough to put 180+ on the board again and enough to take a minimum of five wickets in reply. Or enough bowling to restrict OH to a manageable total, taking 7 wickets and enough batting to take on their total.

But Saturday is going to be one hell of a game. Let's hope the rain Gods are not in a lively mood...

Catches win matches - 2s spill 1st chance at championship

HWRCC vs Haslemere 2s

HWRCC 199-5 Fudge 95*, Hibberd 39, High 30 (49.5 overs) Haslemere 134-8 No 3 bat – phenomenal innings (46 overs)

Golby, Saycey, Fudgey, Hibby, Clark (get some nicknames boys FFS!), Delboy, Jimmy C, Billy, Hilly, Lownsy

Saturday’s game against Haslemere – which promised to be a thriller after 20 overs of both innings – was ultimately a disappointment. A feisty Haslemere team gave up the chase when well set and walked away from The Wick with 3 points. It leaves the 2s requiring 9 points to win the division and 6 to gain promotion. A win away at Old Hamptonians would seal the issue outright but no one at The Wick is taking anything for granted.

Rain all week (the final burst on Friday morning) had rendered the Wick track like a sponge. Not a nice light fluffy Victoria sponge like your Grandmother used to make before she started buying the Kipling version – the one with the dusting of icing sugar, tasty strawberry jam and a layer of cream. No. This was a nasty sponge. The sort of sponge that you might use to clean the showers with. A sponge that was very wet, with a light covering of pubes and caked with the mud off the football boys’ boots.

It was a stinking toss to lose. Sadly for the future of the game, opposition skipper Hooker won it and inserted us. He wasn’t a very jolly chap, didn’t enjoy the game one bit and this was the only thing he enjoyed all day.

He opened up with two very useful youngsters - Eastment the more rapid of the two. Sayce and Goulborn – both introspective at the crease even when the sun is blazing and the track harder than the sort of army issue biscuit that Pinball eats by the hundredweight to bung up his bowels while on manoevres found going tough. Both opening bowlers put the ball on a length in the channel outside the off stump. The lack of pace, tennis ball bounce and ring field kept us so under the cosh that after 20 overs we had only assembled 25 runs. Sayce had perished driving at a tempter to find cover at shin height and Golby couldn’t clear mid-off. For the record young Eastment bowled 5-1-0-5 and Hooker Mi 6-2-0-8.

Replacing the quick young right armer who looks a fantastic prospect was a cricketer of some experience, McCally. On the hottest day for cricket since April this middle aged stager, reminiscent of Boxer from Animal Farm, bowled unchanged for literally hours and plugged and wheeled away from back of a length keeping things tighter than a gnat’s chocolate hostage delivery bay. He turned in amazing figures to start with. His first 8 overs brought 1-21. At the other end the wily Hooker, like a weathered pimp in a Marrakesh souk, procured for Haslemere the services of various young boys who danced prettily to the wickets and delivered an accurate off stump line.

It was effective. For 30 overs everyone on the field wondered where enough runs to make a game of it would come from. Hibby and Fudge assembled, through nudges, nurdles, sweeps, edges, misfields and other similarly undashing means, 25 each and gradually dragged The Wick ship from beneath the waves to the surface. Furiously baling they then cut loose and even hit some boundaries before Hibberd was removed trying to take apart McCally – frustration getting the better of him.

Clark arrived in the middle having spent more than an hour watching this. He found it hard to locate the edge of the square with the ball and grew too quickly frustrated as Fudge accumulated. He perished trying to break the shackles, bowled through the gate trying to propel the sixth ball of an over into the long grass. Oh the ignominy.

Charles High esq joined Fudge in the middle and there followed the most fluid passage of play in our innings. Fudge – seeing it like a beach ball – was manoeuvring the ball around the outfield playing all manner of outrageous sweeps. High used the long handle and together – running like the demented habitants of Fraggle Rock – Fudge and High put on more runs than a salad dodger puts on calories at a village fete tea tent. Eventually Charlie smote some big boundaries as the bowlers wilted in the oppressive heat and we passed 180 for the loss of 3 wickets at over 47 and a bit. McCally – kept on too long – bowled the rest of his overs 12-1-2-64. An amazing performance in the conditions nevertheless.

High perished and Soppitt joined Fudge at the crease to press the advantage and see if the skipper could make his second ton in three weeks. Sadly with the overs ticking by, Fudgey was forced to declare on himself five runs short to set Haslemere an equation they might fancy on what was a now dryish deck (even if it was still very slow). A special mention here for young Williams who Hooker was also forced to over bowl. Again his first spell was excellent – 8-3-1-17 but he ran into High in aggressive mood and conceded heavily late on.

Make no mistake, Fudgey’s innings was a masterpiece in the conditions. To reach 95 and only score six 4s shows how hard he had to work. It was the stand out performance of the day. Even if we had bowled the oppo out and someone had taken 6 for it would still have stood out like Camilla at Diana remembrance service.

Haslemere’s in fielders had a lot to say for themselves which is always pleasant. It started as early as over 5 – not in time honoured fashion with a dispute over an LBW – but when Clark wided Eastment. Yawn, yawn, yawn. No names, no pack drill as they say, but one of the comments (when Hilly felt unable to give a run out decision because he couldn’t see whether the keeper had removed the bails with the ball in his gloves) that we must be top of the league due to cheating was a bit off beam. We’re top of the league because we can recover from 20-2 after fifteen overs and 31-2 after twenty overs to post 199-5.

Tea. DBW. Salami!!! 7.

With 46 overs to bowl out the opposition and Haslemere only needing to score at 3.98 the game was neatly poised. Nice tidy equation. Even a relatively good chase – getting to 183 – would have given them the winning draw.

The top six made a battle of it. Williams, who batted at 3, impressed us all. I can’t give too many actual details because we were unable to copy out the book before Haslemere left at the end of the game and they didn’t put up the individual scores - so we’ll have to wait for Play Cricket. But he only gave one chance (which was spurned) in a lengthy stay at the crease and he, more than any other, guided Haslemere to their draw.

But why, when they had reached a good, solid, base (approximately 100 for 4) with plenty of overs to go, did Haslemere shut up shop? Hooker first sent in Hooker junior and then an entertaining biker from the North East to defy us before he came to the wicket at 9. We know he can play because he’s opened the batting against the Wick in the past. He proceeded to cream the bowlers around when he eventually arrived. But by then the chase had been turned down and we bowled fifteen overs towards the end in the pursuit of five wickets with no one on the Haslemere side looking to get the ball off the square. McCally – who by this time must have been hoping to be putting his feet up – defied the last two overs successfully.

It’s the old story. Win the toss and bat for a draw. Why bother? Williams, (and the guy with a red stripe in his hair – no, not the tramp’s beer of choice) and the gritty Sturt who could have guided them home had Hibby not conned him with the slowest, slow bouncer ever, deserved a thrilling victory not a bore draw.

We’ll say no more of it.

Another good performance stuttered in the field despite the manful efforts of the bowlers. Previous oppositions who have given Barnacles a run for their money have trained the boys to bowl at the stumps more often than not. In the final analysis we have fallen two wickets short again and perhaps this week it was the lack of pace in the pitch and three spilled catches (Clark standing up and two others in the ring) that cost us valuable time. Once again any runs beyond 180 were superfluous and the margin of draw was more than 50 runs. There’s got to be something wrong.

Perhaps next year the Fullers people should increase the number of points for a winning draw as long as the batting first skipper declares at 47.5 overs. This wouldn’t encourage anyone batting second to have more of a go. But it would reward teams that lost the toss (let’s face it EVERYONE sticks the oppo in apart from Effingham) for dominating until the side batting second loses their cojones.

Wonderful news arrived from Merrow. Old Tenisonians had been unable to get a side out! Brilliant! Merrow could probably have expected to hammer both sides (Merrow are good cricketers and we have no beef with them) but they may well go up at the expense of us or Lingfield having won fewer games and lost more.

Odd… but somehow very 2007 given the extraordinary season we've all had.

Tuesday, 21 August 2007

200 up - Wickman promises to grind out more

Morning Wick fans. This is the 200th post on Royal Cricket. Wickman gets a half volley on his legs, eases it away along the ground to mid-wicket and canters through for a single to bring up the milestone. He raises his bat. He congratulates GAAR, Bish and the Student for keeping him company at the other end. He wipes down his keyboard (sorry sweating brow) and replaces his helmet.

Will he try to thrash the next couple of balls for boundaries before holing out in the deep? No, like a Brian Lara innings against England he'll be trying to grind out a big score...