HWRCC 2xi vs Horley (h) Match Report

Singh, Clark+, Fudge, Gobly, Wright, Jackson, Soppitt, Powell, Donnelly, Webster, Lown

HWRCC 227-5 (Fudge 72)
Horley 93-10

HWRCC wins

2s deliver Wickwash

What a day. Blue skies with big old stratocumulus. Hot, humid almost dank skies. An alliterative haze hung heavy over Hampton Wick. At twelve the eleven arrived, changed and practiced. Horley hovered.

Who cares how the Wick has turned into a hot, hard deck but all of a sudden, second week in May, happy Wick bats should rejoice. Suddenly after a 2007 in which the only thing that was predictable was that it wouldn’t do what you thought, here was a deck with bounce and carry. Both. Together. In the same ball.

Horley won the toss and decided to field. Their skipper was a bit freaked out by the Wick’s practice session perhaps. But this was a stinking afternoon to bowl. Yes it might have rained a bit the day before. It might have been greasy. But Clarky had been playing fetch with Wickmutt and a cricket ball that morning and he would swear later that the dog’s lead had taken all the moisture off the square. The burning heat removed the rest.

Nathan and Clarky opened. Clarky was sent in in lieu of AJ who was travelling back from a family do the night before in a Northern industrial town. Before he had time to get anxious, Nathan had holed out at mid on from a no ball and then wellied an off drive to… cover to collect the first taxworthy (quack) innings of the day. 1-1. Not what the captain had ordered. Clarky was supposed to be smashing it around, not Nathan.

Fudge and Clark consolidated and found little to worry about. This was a surprisingly true surface despite being greener than a first year university student doing a stint on reception during the holidays and being asked to use the PA system to locate Mike Hunt. It was hotter than it would have been were they trying to film To Kill a Mockingbird on the outfield. And the the oppo’s opening bowler pulled a hammy. So the first wicket down partnership just left the good balls and hit the rest.

Clarky almost died because he was forced to run a lot (all run fours might look good in the scorebook but they look shit when 39 year olds participate in them in 27 degree heat). They put a 70 partnership together before Clark turned for a non existent second, slipped and was stranded trying to get back. Questions were asked but it was just a bad accident. Clark was wearing studded boots etc etc etc.

Goldy – selected by 99 per cent of all fantasy selectors – managed to make it look as if he had edged a leggy into the gloves of the keeper. It was his first ball sadly. Quack. AJ and Fudge then pushed the score along to 110 until Fudge conspired with the oppo to get out when on 72. Frankly he should have got 172 because up until he got out the wickets had been taken off a full toss, a run out where someone slipped and then a leg break which turned so much that the umpire gave it out.

AJ and Wrighty then set about piling on the runs. Both made unflustered progress mostly scoring straight or behind square in blocks of four runs. Eventually AJ decided he couldn’t run any more. This, he said, was down a muscle pull in his thigh. Mostly your scribe thinks that’s because he was out the night before giving it large on the dancefloor. Cutting some shapes. Etc. Well anyway he felt a bit tired and started limping. He asked for a runner. At that point the Wick had lost three wickets. Some knob was going to get stitched up.

It wouldn’t be Fudge. What skipper goes out to run in the heat of the midday Sun? Only mad dogs really get involved. Would you really send Nathan out to run? Probably not. So, instead, send out the oldest man in the team (by probably 9 years) who had to spend 10 minutes in the cellar to cool down earlier. Next time just keep your mouth shut and deal in boundaries. Clarky had once given AJ a paid job in a PR company. He was upset when AJ was unable to persuade his colleagues to turn that into a full time position. Even more so on Saturday. Clarky would have enjoyed waiting for a fresh Alex to turn up to work on the Monday morning. Before asking him to… well in PR you don’t have really crud jobs… spend all week… licking the dirty bits out of the photocopier. Or something.

AJ eventually ran Wrighty out a boundary or so short of a well deserved 50 (reactolite rapides are so yesterday but on Wrighty they seem moderrrrrrnnnnn) using Clark as an instrument before proceeding to a sublime Aj-like 50. Sisso’s teeth – Sisso had AJ in his fantasy team – were visible reflected off the moon by the Hubble Telescope. And the innings was closed leaving Horley to score 228 off one more over than the Wick had managed 227. Any grumbles? All thought that the Horley skipper could have announced himself earlier. Otherwise… nope.

Sadly Horley didn’t fancy it in reply. If, they said, we had offered them 180 off 55 then (looking at their nails, fingers scrunched into their palms) they might have had a go. Oh please. Why not bat first then and set 180? Tea, by the way, was a really disappointing 5.5.

5.5? Yes. Not one bit of bread could be called fresh. Forget everything else. The – bread – was – not – fresh. No wonder Horley didn’t come out firing. How could they on stale bread? Perhaps Dave knew which way the 2s toss would fall? It totally undid the good work Dave had pulled off by creating chicken tikka open sandwiches. Happy Daves? No.

Horley didn’t really have a go. Who would have after that tea? They lost two wickets pretty quickly and then didn’t rebuild. They eventually made 93 in reply. Webbo, Lownsy, Powelly and Timmy F bowled such tight lines that there was nothing going. So Horley shut up shop. Reeeeeeally early. Webbo was the Q of quick if not quite the a of accuracy. Del came on and selflessly threw up some relatively expensive overs to get Horley to hole out. They did. He took three for. At least the hammy victim Horley opener smashed some. He will be pleased with his batting. At the other end Powelly bowled a mature full and straight spell that cleaned up 4 bats. It was quick, accurate and unplayable. Powell is back. FACT.

The fielding was amazing. Golby juggled a phenomenal catch at gully to bring one down which suggests with practice he could be one of the all time Wick gully greats. Clarky coped well with some interesting crop spraying. Fudgey and Webbo in particular fielded like demons. While Horley conceded 40 runs to misfields and poor throws the Wick challenged every bat to risk something. No one did.

The Wick won with many overs to spare. That Horley felt we had gone too far in scoring 220+ off half the overs suggests they may not be the most ambitious oppo we will face this year. No matter. This was a good game, fought at close quarters. Both sides acquitted themselves well.

Powelly MOM.

Perfect.