Fantasy cricket week 3

Another week, another wick wash. Fudgey again opens up his lead on the player ratings. Top week for Duncan Kennedy, who despite being backed by no one, has racked up an impressive 272 points.

Weekend Team News

1xi vs Ripley (h)

Davies ©, Sayce, Ewen, Mackie, Raza, Whinney, Madoc-Jones, Z Tughral Sr, O'Mahoney+, Ford, Jackson

1215 Meet

2xi vs Ripley (a)

Singh, Hibberd, Fudge ©, Golbourn, Clark +, Soppitt, Kennedy, Donnelly, Powell, Iqbal, Unsworth

Meet 11.30am at The Wick

3xi vs Old Tiffinians (h)

Lloyd © +, Risman, High, Cameron, Doddy, Pushpanath, Taylorson, Maloj, Laight, Nicholls, TBC

3XI match report and other ramblings

HWRCC 3XI Vs Wallington
Risman, Doddy, Crane +, Hirsch, Cameron, Lloyd, Kennedy, Parkes, Nicholls, Taylorson, Laight
HWRCC - 265-8 off 45 overs. Wallington - 150 (odd) all out

Our report this weekend begins on Friday at 4pm when my manager declared that we had had a good week and therefore should be rewarded so off to The Griffin we went for beers and scantily clad lovelies.

On the way… “Cranesy, Im on the way to the pub!”.
“ Really its 4pm…. which one?”.
“Griffin!”…
”I’ll meet you in 5 minutes”.
And from this point onward it went downhill in a big way. Having had a pint, been robbed of a fiver and decided that my secretary was a little uncomfortable with the naked lovelies everywhere, we departed for happy hour at another bar and devoured their stock of chilled Peroni before embarking on the train journey to Wimbledon (via the Golden Arches of course).

After a cheeky redbeer in the Walkabout we cracked on to our bar of choice to meet the rest of the crowd. Jaegerbombs were the drink of choice washed down with ample vodka redbulls.

Next Morning:
Cranesy - “Errr…. What happened last night? I remember nothing from about 11 onwards!.”
Lloydy-“ No idea… I just woke up in my mums spare room grinding my teeth with a dog between my legs” (a Jack Russell terrier for those that were wondering).

So on to the match and having realised that under no circumstances should Cranesy be driving, a quick swig of milskshake was had, everyone piled into Doddy’s truck and we were off to battle the wilderness of Croyden. As we approached Epsom in complete silence it became obvious that not only was the milkshake reacting badly with the RedBull to form chocolate cottage cheese in our stomachs, but Cranesey was asleep at the wheel and hadn’t changed out of third since Surbiton.

A few swigs of water and we were back in the game, though perhaps too much as I was somewhat disturbed to be serenaded to “Nobody does it better”, windows down, volume up whilst driving through Sutton… people have been shot for less round these parts. Builders stopped, babies cried, parents shook fists and I tried to hide in my chair.

The ground was perfect, the strip was a road and the outfield like glass. “There be runs in them there hills” said the old sages, and I was inclined to agree. So I won the toss and after some deliberation (if we can get Ruuunnns they can get Ruuunns was my reasoning) batted first.

Doddy and Rizzo opened against their young bowlers and the former fell LBW for 5 early on to bring Shirley Bassey to the crease still feeling the effects of the demon chocolate milk. Shirley and Rizzo put on a hefty partnership until Cranesy decided to retire himself on 40 by exposing his middle stump. Rizzo cracked on to a comfortable 66 before getting caught at gully. Hirsch played a few nice strokes before falling LBW to a dobbler and the chubby chaser scored some nice runs before being triggered by Shirley LBW to their other dobbler bowler.

Lloydy scored only 1 before playing the wrong ball of 3 that appeared in front of his eyes and having his off stump rattled to bring in Duncan Kennedy and Chairman Mao. Duncs set about their bowlers with distain and rattled up 50 of not a lot. The outfield providing the skipper with the option of 1 or 4 due to its pace, though we benefitted from some inept fielding aswell. At 230 for 6 off 38, I couldn’t declare as it was so early so we cracked on and Duncan finished on 77 having been palmed over the cow boundary for 6 and a 4 in successive balls. Keith played some lovely strokes and finished on 25. I though it best to give Ian and Kirky a bat so declared on 265 with both unbeaten.

Teas - Alfresco style brought a nice refreshing change in the sunny weather and made up for the lack of hot tea (we were warned to be fair). 5

As the wind got up and the sun went hiding we opened with Kirky and Tun-up full of confidence from previous games though Kirky sporting a new war wound following a run in at nets with a ballistic missile. Both struggled with line and length and at one point they were exceeding the run rate. Jimmy C came on and bowled 10 overs of bounce and pace to slow the scoring rate down and was unlucky (ats) to not fill his boots with more than the 2 he got. Tun up removed one of the openers with a rank full toss that he graciously played on to his own stumps, Parkesy bowled some tricky line and length to tie up one end and Cranesy was, to quote their skipper “ very unlucky to have 2 stumpings turned down” off the bowling of Parkes.

Keith replaced Nick and bowled some lovely spin and drift knocking over the number 4’s leg stump and skittling the tail. Hero of the hour Kennedy replaced Jimmy C and took 4 wickets off his 5 overs including the final wicket to bring on the Wickwash and a win by 30 minutes. Back at the wick the 2s were full of Magners and Barry having been on the balcony for a good 3 hours. Duncan arrived bought his jug and went off to try his luck with the ladies and buy a lottery ticket and Parksey did the honourable thing and posed for his duck photo. Perfect.

The evening cracked on as per usual. Tales of fortune and misfortune were regaled and plans for lash were made. Shallow Hal, Delbert and Lloydy went off to secure a table at Barcadia, Cranesy went off to sit on his sofa and the rest of the Wick boys joined us later in Barcadia, positively bouncing off the walls with talk of perfect seasons, promotion, Wickwash and 60 points… and Jimmy C’s latest conquest who was up to his usual demanding standards. Delbert got thrown out, I got stuck in the flooded toilets so missed out on a promise from a girl called Danielle, Fordy was lively and Cranesy was sober.

Moral: Drinking causes you to lose cricketing ability and causes chronic lapses in judgement and control though does give you the ability to fly home without realising and of spontaneously emptying your wallet.

About Sledging

A correspondent writes to Wickman in some agony asking for Wickman's view on sledging in the club game. He feels, he writes, remorse, over a particularly severe sledge delivered to someone much his junior. What, he asks Wickman, is the right amount of sledging? What guidelines exist? Is this my elbow or my arse, he asks?

Wickman has no strong view on sledging but provides the following for discussion rather than to be taken as Gospel.

Sledging is a tactic employed in cricket to put batsmen off their game. The more iron willed amongst you will have your concentration routines running, little tricks to get you focused and moving your feet, tics to get the bat coming down in the right arc etc. It's a legitimate tactic in this day and age to try to distract the batsman at this point. The rest of us are mostly thinking "mmmm tea is soon can't wait" or "cor look at that jogger, if I could catch her, I would definitely have a go" or "hell's teeth how embarrassing was THAT shot?" For us we just appreciate the conversation while we are out there to distract us from our muddled thoughts about batting.

This distraction then is what sledging is all about. Trying, within the spirit of the game, to calmly distract the batsman.

Step one - amusing banter
It would be a dull game if there was absolutely no banter between teams while they are out on the field. That should be the starting point. Banter is good. So much the better if the banter is funny, keeps the fielding side in good spirits and, hush Wickman's mouth, even entertains the opposition but still has the ability to get the bat thinking about the nonsense being spoken about. Delboy pointing out that the No 10 at Kingstonian didn't want to hang around because he was desperate for a pint of bitter was amusing in the extreme. It was clear that the oppo bat, advanced in years, wanted nothing more than a pint of bitter at that particular time. Even naked dancing girls would have had to wait for him to down a pint of London Pride, wipe the foam off his upper lip and rub his hands together and settle down to watch things that jiggle.

Step two - pointing out flaws in technique
We have all played the game now for many years and most of us will recognise that our game is not Test class. On this basis it may well be useful for the opposition, if, in a spirit of friendship, you point out basic errors in their technique. A jaunty "well left" after a bat has attempted to smite your spinner into the wilderness and missed by feet helps the oppo bat to think more carefully about timing and hand eye co-ordination. The occasional "Ooo dear" when someone attempts to drag one across the line or the well-intentioned "Mooooooo" when someone attempts that even more vigourously can help to remind the oppo to play straighter. This can have the added benefit of getting them out caught behind later on as they obviously can't play straight otherwise they wouldn't be trying to slog you to cow corner. "Sniff that" can also be employed if a batsman's eyesight and reactions have failed to the point where he was unable to take evasive action in time. This again is helpful to the batsman who may wish to be reminded that he has a helmet in the pavillion.

Step 3 - running commentary
This is particularly useful in the communications age. Many of us are now so dulled by television and radio commentary with its talk of cake, a little tickle between his legs etc etc that we find ourselves unable to describe the game in our own minds without the sagacity of an Atherton or the wit of an Aggers to keep us on the cricketing straight and narrow. A batsman beaten by swing will appreciate "he almost nicked that one" or "send him down a piano, he might be able to play that". He will also be pleased to hear that the bowler is generating a yard more pace, swinging it like your Dad at a wedding disco, moving it both ways including after the ball has passed the stumps. Opposition batsmen particularly appreciate having the ridge pointed out to them and, when a Millennium Wood scuttler does its scuttley stuff, they are, in Wickman's experience, grateful for the advice "best play back on this deck". Step 4 - Wickman's favourite - faux nostalgia
Wickman likes nothing more than to tell a batsman that he's glad to see certain shots (usually some form of dreadful hoick) safe from dying out and being lost to the game. This is normally occasioned with a sighing sound and the phrase "I'm soooo pleased to see that people are still playing that shot today. It's a tradition that shouldn't die out".

Who should sledge? Frankly any player who is close enough to the bat to be heard by the bat but not the officials. Largely it's the role of the 'keeper and the slips to keep up some incessant banter while keeping a weather eye on the skipper to make sure he's not tiring of it all. Often 'keepers will stand up to the stumps, risking teeth and bruises, just to impart some pearl of wisdom or to let go of an enthusiastic "ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" as a bat swishes at something and misses by six inches. This helps (see step 2) to convince the batsmen he needs to try to play the ball on merit, hopefully creating an edge. If nothing else it just annoys the hell out of the batsman.

Who should not be sledged? There are one or two in the game who like nothing more than a bit of banter. Miandad was one who preferred to socialise with the Oppo and Steve Waugh was rumoured to use the banter to concentrate. Best to ignore these. There is, closer to home, the incendiary Mellett of Old Sluts who is never slow to explode into unimaginable wrath and become like Trevor Bailey playing for his life. Again best avoid these characters. It can also, in league cricket, be considered indelicate to sledge callow youths unless it looks as if they can bat a bit. Just as confusing for them for you to engage in polite banter about who's bat they have borrowed (you can usually tell from the legend "xcc Colts U16 Sunday Team" written in inedelible marker down the spine) or some other trivia such as what time will Mummy be picking you up later?

Finally, racism is to be discouraged at all times, although mimicry of well known cricketing phrases uttered in other countries for comic effect (Shabbash, Shabbash when Coley is bowling and there is not an Asian on the field, Bowling Shane when someone like Tommy D bowls one of his straighter deliveries) should be permitted if not encouraged. It is also permitted to mimic commentators, obviously.

Wickman hopes this helps.

About Chinamen

Wickman was at balcony discussion on Saturday and was guilty of misleading the audience about Chinamen. Extensive research (a bit of Googling, cricinfoing and wikipediaing) leaves him perplexed.

Wickman believes a Chinaman to be a ball bowled by a left arm wrist spinner that replicates a right hand leg spin bowler's googly - the essential element being the deception.

However - all those august sources say that a Chinaman is merely a ball bowled by a lefthanded bowler that turns from a right hander's off peg to leg. A natural left handed wrist spin ball.

It was named after West Indian Test player Ellis Achong - the first Chinese descended Test player - who dismissed an English bat with it. The bat, retreating to the pavillion, muttered something along the lines of "well fancy that, dismissed by a bloody Chinaman". Excellent. A cricket term that's definitely racist... just what we needed.

So Wickman was wrong and apologises for misleading his audience. So what then IS the ball that comes out the back of the hand and goes from leg to off? Is there simply no name for it or is it a left hander's googly plain and simple?

So perplexed is Wickman that he is almost tempted to send in a question to something like "Ask Bearders". But Wickman did not get to his ripe old age by asking directions or writing in to websites or newspapers with wanky queries. Oh no.

[This is a picture of Ellis Achong - was he the first man to suffer rascist sledging in Test Cricket?]

About Ducks

Wickman was asked recently why a duck is a duck. As far as Wickman can discover it's because a zero in the scorebook looks like a duck egg. Sounds a bit lame. A golden as we know is a first baller. A silver a second baller. A bronze a third baller. A diamond duck is secured by a batsman who does not face a ball. A platinum duck is a first baller experienced by the No 1 in the first ball of the match. This has happened to Clarky twice including on club day last year to Milkybar. It's not good. Any way they come, down the Wick they cost a fiver...

Match Report - 1xi vs Merrow (a)

This was a strange game. Having got promoted last year, Merrow were full of enthusiasm and bite, unlike the previous week's opposition. We were rightly cautious but not afraid of their skills.

The opposition skipper seemed to know more about my players than I did. His knowledge was initially impressive, and latterly disturbing, asking me if Dominic Gates and Richard Cole still played for The Wick. They won the toss and bowled. No surprises there.

Davies and Hooper opened up. Whilst Davies went early to a good ball, Hooper started to smoke the ball through midwicket like the ball was on a zipline. O'Mahoney, slightly bogged down, unfortunatley got an inside edge, which brought Raza in with Hooper. The score moved onto 80-2, before Hooper fell one shy of 50. Raza then followed, skying one off the slow left arm of the opposition skipper.

AJ and Mackie progressed the score after drinks to 125, before both fell caught in the outfield. Neither Zammy nor Whinney lasted long, and it was left to O'Donnell in partnership with Ewen to get the total up. They went slightly beyond what we would have settled for at one stage, posting 170 with O'Donnell 22* on debut.

At half time the team was confident of 20 more points given the armoury in our attack.

Teas. Rubbish. 2/10 [Two out of ten? That makes the editor weep for you poor unloved boys. Oh the horror, the horror - Ed] Lots of buttered fresh bread but you had to make sandwiches yourself [Noooooooooooooooooo - Ed]. Tesco tuna paste etc. There were lots of picked onions. I like em, but not for cricket teas. Some big chunks of cheese were supplemented with some Branstons (or chutney, as Whinney called it). Very poor.

In reply, much like the Wick's innings, Merrow got off to a speedy start. Both Ewen and Whinney started with fire, but the pitch was easy paced and the short boundary and quick running made scoring easy enough. The breeze had now become a serious wind, which affected all bowlers. Clearly it was a day for Fordy mate et al.

Fordy came on and got the breakthrough. LBW. ats. O'Donnell then came on and bowled with good control and enthusiasm, getting his first Wick wicket caught at Gully.

Enter Tughral. He again spun his way to 3 excellent wickets, aided by some adept stumping action by O'Mahoney and a snaffle by Hooper at short midwicket. Zammy also got a run out (although it came after he had made an initial fumble).

Raza joined the party, tying up one end to put the pressure on the bats to try to force Zamm out of the attack. As the ball softened and the slippers moved into the ring, the runs dried up. The #3 Aussie, a very good bat, top scored with a patient 60-odd, before eventually being caught in the deep.

Merrow ended up 25 short, but it had been tense throughout as both innings had mirrored each other - fast starts, and as the ball softened runs became very difficult to come by. Lessons for the Wick - dont get caught in the outfield, use your feet to upset the spinners/dibbly dobblies, and be patient. The difference was that we had a #10 who scored 22*, a class leg spinner and runs on the board. The pressure was too much and 40 points had become 60.

The batting was better, but still short of where we can be. The fielding was much improved on a bobbly outfield and horrendously windy conditions. The bowling was as sound as ever.

It must be remembered though that Merrow dropped a lot of catches and let through a number of extras. In all honesty we didn't deserve this victory, but Merrow certainly didnt after their fielding performance. We can be pleased however that we won playing within ourselves. You cant ask for much more. No doubt we will start losing once we start playing as we know we can.

[Here's a picture of O'Mahoney early in his innings]

Merrow Eat Words With Revenge on Menu

HWRCC 2xi vs Merrow CC 2xi (h)

Cole, Singh, Fudge, Hibberd, Clark, High, Soppitt, Donnelly, Iqbal, Lown, Unsworth

Merrow 84 (E X Tras 20*), HWRCC 85-2

HWRCC wins by 8 wickets

There’s very little to say about an ultimately disappointing game that left the balcony sages to conclude that Merrow must have availability issues this season. Having waited since the League dinner where Merrow ‘keeper Lock asked Lownsy with no hint of a smile “whether we were still bitter” that they had won the championship to shove that comment back down Merrow throats, when the game came round so easy was the stroll to 20 points that there would have been time for a 2020 game after and Clarky would still have made his restaurant booking at 9.00pm in Esher with time for a couple of vodka martinis to kick things off.

Merrow won the toss and chose to bat on what looked to be a good Wick surface. Rather lively for any other square, but good for the Wick. Lownsy took up where he left off last week removing the top three, all caught in the cordon off aggressive swing bowling a la Sidebottom, the only hint of alarm in Clark palming the No 3 to Coley at second slip. Fantasy points for Clark but not fantasy managers with Clark in their team. Sneaky. After a first game of the season when he couldn’t bend a banana, Lownsy is now looking very threatening having found a yard of pace in the nets.

Donnelly was gun barrel straight as per usual and deserved a better return than the one wicket he took – an lbw come bowled removing the gobby League dinner Wicky. He looked suspiciously at the deck. Those of us with lingering Wick memories will know that it’s a risky shot indeed to play back at the Millennium Wood end. Junaid, or, as Clarky has taken to calling him, “Iqqers”, then bowled a mature spell of five overs, also taking a wicket.

Coley, in his first game for the 2s this year, looked too good for Merrow’s middle and late order. Bounce did for a number of bats and a good legside stumping from Clarky removed the top scoring Merrow bat much to his evident frustration with the square leg umpire. Unsworth returned to the side from eating pies (sorry that should read University) and bowled a tidy spell exploiting the ridge to good effect. Hibberd was brought on as fourth or fifth change and promptly cleaned up the tail, two caught spooning the ball up and failing to get it off the square (Iqqers taking a running chance at square leg the pick) and comprehensively yorking a No 11 who was a ferret and no mistake. E X Tras top scored for Merrow.

The fielding performance was adequate. Three spills in the field again (although Fudgey is calling it two for the record books). However it was good enough to do for Merrow which is, after all, the point. Wickman does wonder though whether we would get away with it against some of the title contenders…

Tea. ATS. NO variation this week. 6.

There was not much to do in the batting department. Coley and Nate managed to perish to a left arm legger who was later savaged so badly by Hibby that he had to be taken off suffering from whiplash and shell shock. Fudge ended not out to bring his season’s average to a superhuman 106. Which is only beaten by the absent Wright’s career 2s average of approximately 200...

MOM is a tough call this week between Lown and Hibberd. This week it goes to Lown for removing the top three including the dangerous Mead who has scored runs against us in the past. And that’s it. Nothing else to say. Er oh yes. TFC. To Merrow. See you next week folks.

Third Wickwash Takes All Three Teams to the Top

Sunday mornings are often hard work. With grey skies above the Wick and vague recollections of an early morning deluge this Sunday morning should be no different from any other. Except that it is. Mid afternoon yesterday after a demolition of Merrow 2xi in the league that was so comprehensive that when first Sisso, then Andy, then Julian and then Jelly arrived at the Wick to watch a bit of cricket all they found was the 2s ensconced on the balcony hard at a succession of jugs a few of the team discussed how it felt to be the only team at the club that wasn’t in the promotion positions. This morning Play Cricket tells us that we ARE in the promotion places – second place to Chobham by a point. Happy Days. 1s and 3s first in their leagues, 2s second by a single point. Wick. Played 9, Won 8, Drawn 1. Three weekends into the season, two Wickwashes. Now that IS Wick!

Second Ton for Royal Cricket

May 19th. 103 visits. FACT

Match Report - Sunday xi vs Nepotists by Wickman Jr

HWRCC VS NEPOTISTS – SUNDAY MAY 18th Wick – 174/6 off 40 overs (Golby 34, Whinney 27, Hirsch 25)

Defeated

Nepotists – 171/6 (Whinney 2/13 off 8 overs; MJ and Vaider picking up a couple each)

Wick snatch it late to keep 100% record Whinney the hero in 3rd successive win

On these very pages last year, you may remember I asked the question: “What does it mean to be Wick?” It intrigued me at the time because all I’d ever hear from Wickman was – “is he wick?”, when referring to a new player or colt coming through the ranks. Believing I had arrived at an answer, I cited the performance of a young Junaid Iqbal, who put on 30-odd runs to help the 3s score a dramatic come-from-behind win against Long Ditton last year.

From this example, being “Wick” meant having a “never say die” attitude, an ability to fight to the end and to back yourself no matter what the situation. I was convinced that was it. However now, I think the definition can be strengthened. Because after seeing the performance of PE Man Shaun Whinney on Sunday, whose bowling at the death of the match helped pull off a thrilling 3-run victory over the touring Nepotists, I think we can add another descriptive: “love for the game”.

Being Wick means loving cricket. It might sound like a pretty stupid thing to say, but I think we sometimes overlook the fact that, while we’re so hell bent on winning, we also should be having fun doing it. Shaunny epitomizes this as much as anyone else at the club (controversial?). He loves batting, bowling, fielding, even keeping! And isn’t too bad at the sledging either (crucial in a Jimmy C-led team really…..). He eats the game up. That he came back to the UK just to have another season of cricket at the Wick, speaks volumes about the character of the bloke.

But enough of this sycophancy and on to the match.

After spending a big night with Del and Lloydy out in Kingston, Skipper Jimmy C arrived at the Wick eager to build on the first two games of the season. With just a few hours kip under the belt, thanks to the work of a swimming instructor who had never been in a pool, he promptly lost the toss and was sent in to bat on a cold, but beautiful, afternoon. Game on.

Led by Goldy and Nathan, the Wick got off to a solid start. Goldy, who looks to be in better form as each match passes, was free to play his shots against a good opening attack (it must be said). The cut shot was preferred option at all times. Nathan was likewise in fine form. With the timing of a young David Gower (is there talk?), he breezed to 24 runs with some glorious stroke play (reminiscent of the skipper on Saturday night).

However, despite Nath’s solid start, he was back in the hutch after being caught at cover (You were hung-over mate – admit it). And while anyone losing their wicket is a downer, the fact that he made way for new boy (talk him up) Chris Madoc-Jones, was a tantalizing prospect.

Skipper Jimmy C had been told about MJ during the week by first team skipper Matty D. And let me tell you, this kid is good. Very good, in fact. While he may look like a normal kid, when he is out in the middle he looks as though he has already played 100 test matches, notched up a few centuries, and led his country to a few world cup victories (bit excessive….orrrrrrr?). Making a quick fire 20-odd before skying a shot to cover (unlucky), Jimmy C was still impressed. Can you play next week mate?

Despite the losses of Nathan and MJ, the score ticked over at more than 4 runs per over. The arrival of Shaun Whinney, who was timing the ball to perfection, alongside Golby who continued to experiment with the cut shot, helped us to look comfortable. And while Golby eventually went for a valuable 34, the emergence of Joey “Hirchshelle Gibbs” Hirsh to the crease kept the score moving. Clearly motivated by the efforts of Maddoc Jones, Joe Hirsh was sensational. With long drives and timing as good as a young David Gower (there are now two at the club – FACT), the boy put on 25 runs in what was a top knock.

With the support of Whinney and Hirsh, followed by Kennedy and Del Boy, we were able to bring the score to 174-6 after 40. It was a good total Jimmy C thought.

Tea – ats

Heading out to the field, Skipper Jimmy C was thrilled with his bowling and fielding line up. Forget what the Saturday teams will tell you, Sundays provides the best opportunity to see a real team put together – FACT. Opening the bowling with Whinney and Junaid is a captain’s dream (although Joey would be nice to throw in the mix to be fair). And they rarely disappoint.

Whinney bowled so far out of his skin that I swear he could easily have been a young Alan Donald (without any skin). I couldn’t tell. Bowling down the hill, Whinney put every ball on the Putney Bridge to make the oppo’s batsmen look silly (think Nick Nolte’s mug shot after a recent arrest). However, despite these efforts and Junaid’s toil at the other end, the Wick were unable to get the early breakthrough they wanted.

Sensing that this game might go the distance, Jimmy C put himself and Duncan “safe hands” Kennedy into the attack to shake things up a bit. It didn’t really work. Although, Jimmy was pretty much on the spot as usual and Duncan got the ball to “do a bit” from the other end, that first elusive wicket was still to be taken. Meanwhile, the batsmen were putting on the runs.

It was time to reach into the bag and bring out the wild card – MJ. Setting his own field, MJ started to send them down the track to two batsmen gaining in confidence. Following two consecutive sixes off his bowling, Jimmy C was starting to think this might not be his day. And as his next ball was dispatched into the outfield, Jimmy C had his head in his hands. Surely game over. Thankfully, “Safe hands” Duncan was under the ball and took a brilliant catch. He’s got the best pair of hands in the club. Fact. The same thing happened a few overs later. Jimmy started to believe.

Bringing Vaider into the attack (I rate this boy, I really do), the boundaries started to slow up. Putting the ball on the spot, the batsmen became frustrated and began to lash out. The Nepotists now needed 36-odd runs off the last 30 balls. We were still in it with a chance.

Enter Whinney at the death. Bowling yorker after yorker, the batsmen couldn’t get the ball away, and after a few wild shots, two more wickets fell after the stumps were left shattered by Whinney. TALK IT UP MATE. You could feel the drama build.

It went to the last over. They needed 11 off 6. Then 11 off 5; 7 off 4; 7 off 3; 5 off 2 and 5 off 1 (after Kempy put down a sitter).

Heart in mouth time.

Whinney launched in. The bat got a hold of one. Would it go for six? No – you bet it wouldn’t. It went straight to Duncan at deep mid-off. He lobbed the ball back to Whinney at the bowlers end and he took the bails off. We had won by 3 runs. “£!!** YES!!!!” The boys were elated. What a win!

It was a terrific match for anyone that watched (ask Wickman). I never thought being skipper could be this much fun, and I thank Whinney for showing me that on Sunday. Bring on next Sunday I say. And with Joey, Whinney and Matty D all confirmed (I may need to double check that), I can’t bloody wait.

Wickman Junior.

[Here's a handy picture of where MOM Shaun comes from in PE!!!]

Tea Grading

For those of you uncertain of the scoring around teas, there is no standard calibration. As experienced as your scribes are in the sampling of teas around the Middlesex and Surrey areas you must expect some variation. It's an art, not a science.

Points should be awarded for: 1. Freshness - essential. Stale teas are a crime against cricket and should probably be included in the The Spirit of the Game or whatever its called next time around. Fruit is frowned upon in some tradtional quarters as being the work of the devil (remember what happened to Eve in the garden) but Wickman is wholely supportive. If he can get one of his five a day at tea then it can't be bad.

2. Homemadeness - only a truly homemade tea (ie no purchased multi-pack Penguins etc) could ever approach a ten.

3. Innovation - something new, or at least new to the scribe, is important. Ewhurst had a ham one year which was sourced from the local butcher. It was soooo good. They had fresh French bread too. Westfield had sort of custard pies. DBW created a new tikka sandwich filling a couple of weeks ago. Lingfield (Wickman thinks) had pickled onions. Someone else had beetroot in vinegar. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm *Wickman pauses to wipe drool off the keyboard*

4. The Tea (drink) must be plentiful, hot and served in a mug. It should not be the colour of milk. It should be the colour of Del's 20 year old jocky.

5. Abundance - there must be enough of it so that no one has to think "damn it I just can't take any more otherwise the oppo won't get any".

6. Presentation - vitally important to present the tea in such a fashion that the eye and brain can immediately sum up a) how to assemble the perfect plate - one of everything or should one stock up on a particular aspect such as sandwiches? b) how many people will need to be served from it (see 5) so that the teaer can take what's needed? c) has the chef added small touches such as parsley, lettuce (see 1) to show that the art of presentation is not dead?

Thus a standard DBW tea will score between 6 and 7 most weeks. The howler of two weeks ago fell foul of 1). Occasionally Wickman feels that the dodgy mugs DBW uses contravene 4). The homemadeness we all know is often totally absent unless there has been a wedding / funeral / orienteering meet.

Wickman hopes this helps. However Wickman will be enquiring of Lloydy how Matty D scored Saturday's tea as an ATS 5 and Lloydy scored it 8. An 8 this early in the season is just plain wrong. Mentally Wickman has taken the average of the two scores coming out a robust 6.5... [Here's a picture of a fantastic tea. This tea looks as if it could be a 9]

Fantasy Cricket - Week 2

Another great week for the week sees all 3 teams remain undefeated. The fantasy table is opening up with 459 points between 1st and last. Fudgey leads the players board with an average of 138 points a game (bowlers game huh?!)

But to bring him down a bit, he didnt pick himself. His girlfriend did and that's why she is top of the league for week 2. well done jo.

Match Report - 1xi vs Old Tiffinians (h)

In 2007 the 1XI won 3 games and finished a commendable 8th. In 2008, they have already won 2 out of 2, and a 100% record thus far speaks volumes about the ability and team ethic that has emerged in the squad. Everyone really wants to be involved and contribute, and with different people taking leading roles each week, this could turn into a season to remember.

Sat 17th May, Home v Old Tiffs.

Before we start, it must be pointed out that the opposition started the game with 6 players, and when the rest arrived their total was still 2 shy of a full quota. Read what you like into that.

Old Tiffs won the toss and chose to bat - the main reason being their low numbers. MattyD would have probably batted as well, but the fact he had been debating it with most of the team for half an hour mean't it could go either way. A good toss to lose. The deck was green, but it was hard and pretty zippy as well. The odd ball misbehaved a bit, but nothing particularly unusual. Joey started where he left off last week, again picking up a wicket in the first over. In came the number 3. Well, he bated at 3, although I wouldn't like to compare him in any way to our number 3 (Boney). Joey was wasted on him as he continually missed not only the ball but also his mummy. However, Joey couldn't hit the stumps, so he and the other opener moved the scores along to 40 off 12 overs, with Fordy off colour at the other end.

The innings turned howver when Tughral entered, post exams, and flighted his way to 6wickets. with little turn available, he used his flight and guile to guide his way to each wicket, picking up the dangerous 4 and 5 before they had a chance to show their full array of talents. Kam chipped in at the other end with a dubious lbw, but his bowling is slowly returning to 2007's standards.

OT finished on 121-8 (all out) off 35 overs.

A quick turnaround meant Davies and Cole were keen to hit the ground running. Davies, deciding to abandon the 'leave' proceeded to progress at a run a ball, playing some decent strokes alongside a few typical golby like dabs past gully. Davies fell on 49 just before tea.

Tea - ats. 5.

With only 50-odd needed, O'Mahoney came to the crease and showed how to bat properly at that position, falling on 25 when only peanuts were needed to kill off the game. Cole remained unbeaten on 20 at the other end, despite his Friday exploits corporate style at Lords.

In conclusion, the team should be pleased that tey have dominated two teams in the field, and that the batting is coming together. However, there is still lots of room for improvement. The odd catch was dropped, the odd lazy fumble in the field etc etc. Having said that things are bubbling nicely.

Match Report - 2xi vs Old Kingstonians (a) by Clarky

Old Kingstonian’s 2xi vs HWRCC 2xi
HWRCC 248-5 (45.5 overs) declared. D Fudge 109, N Singh 56
Old Ks 129-8 (50 overs). D Lown Four for not very many.
HWRCC draw by 120 runs.
Singh, Clark, Fudge, Globby, Wright, Hibberd, Soppitt, Powell, Donnelly, Hill, Lown

Division new boys take down last year’s 3rd placed team in bore draw

If Alan Sugar had dragged the two teams together on Saturday morning and said, in that Norf Lahndon drawl “go ahhhht and put on a game of cricket, the team that plays the best cricket will win the game. One of the losers will be firrrred” then the Board Room scene at the end of the task could have been very messy.

On the face of it Skipper Fudge and the Wick team would imagine themselves safe from a grilling. Clark apart (who picked up a third ball duck after having almost been run out without facing by an anxious duck avoiding Iqbal, sorry Singh, sorry Nathan) the batsmen mostly delivered in some style. The fielding was close to exemplary although the grassing of a sitter by Hibby and a tracer bullet one handed slip catch by Wrighty might have been more expensive on another day. The bowling was largely naggingingly good if not life-threateningly quick – Dom Lown bowled by some margin his finest spell in a twos shirt to take four for not very many.

On a filthy, filthy day (the contrast with last week was absolute) we travelled to Old Kingstonian’s ground. Owned and maintained by an educational establishment it was immaculate. Beautiful. An outfield smoother than an ice rink. A deck that looked the right colour. Sightscreens freshly painted. HOT showers. This would be an absolute pleasure to play on and no doubt. It did though, con The Wick into batting for too long. Up to 180 from 33 overs, the boys settled into a strange torpor, only scoring another 70 from the next twelve. With such value to be obtained from the outfield we felt we needed to take some overs out of the game otherwise the declaration would be too generous we thought.

In fact in the context of Old K’s reply the Wick put on a quite majestic 248 from 45.5 overs at 5.4 an over. Asked to score at just under 5 in reply Old K’s gave up at the tea break the skipper declaring, none to quietly, that the win was gone. Sad. So there we go. Another skipper (like last week) wins the toss, and sticks the oppo in because he has no confidence in his team.

Fudgey scored one of those tons that Fudgey scores. Off drives. Paddle sweeps. Lofted checked pulls. Nudges for one. He mostly saw it like a beachball. Accompanying him after the early demise of the unfortunate Duck Tax paying Clark was Nathan. Nathan was “due a score”. He promptly put together a wonderful maiden half century full of off driving that had those huddled on the sidelines for warmth briefly glowing with pleasure.

Wrighty continued in his merry way of scoring runs without being out – this time 33 of them to average about 200 for the 2s. Hibby crashed a rapid 22. Golby and Del did what they both do nudging and scampering. The game changing incident though had already happened long before the declaration. Fudgey was given not out by Del relatively early in his innings.

Ever since the advent of Hawkeye, amateur umpires and players have become much more, well, hawkish about LBW shouts. The opposition felt that Fudgey was out. Whatever. They then proceeded not to give any of 13 shouts for LBW when they batted. A few of those appeals were marginal. Perhaps one or two would have missed the leg stump. Certainly they were optimistic. However there were two in particular which were so plumb they hurt. One was a full toss from Lownsy which hit the bat on the toe in front of middle. Had it gone straight on (which the law now says an umpire must think) it would have hit 4 inches above the base of middle. The other was a pad up by the same batsman. He would have lost his off stump had the ball carried on. Neither were given “because you didn’t give your guy out!” It’s a bit Latvian to say this, but if that was the reason they didn’t give an LBW all day rather than “the batsman gets the benefit of the doubt as I wasn’t sure” then, I am afraid, that’s sharp practice. Which is one step from cheating.

The surviving bat was the only reason that Old K’s did not lose this game. He scored 29 from a staggering 124 balls faced. It was the most boring innings this correspondent has witnessed since he and a colleague misunderstood a coach’s instructions to play for a draw in a school game by stodging it out from 1 wicket down for over 90 minutes. But as that occurred when your correspondent was 11 he is claiming lack of experience. This guy was clearly an experienced cricketer. It’s not that he didn’t have any shots either. He had at least one (a powerful square cut). He employed this four times in his innings. The rest of the innings was just dull. Mostly he spent the time playing the ball between his legs (but not onto the stumps unfortunately) or with his pads (which turned out to be the safest way to play yesterday). Eventually he edged a low full toss from Hibberd on to his stumps attempting to play an attacking shot but the time and overs he had used up were critical to Old K’s survival.

Old K’s were in the fight only as long as their opening bat was at the crease. Swinging like a mad axeman he smote and smote, often at thin air, sometimes connecting. This guy was intent on replicating Fudgey’s feat but in half the time. Once he was out the Number 3, who had a rather comical resemblance to a character from Fantasy Island (The plane! The plane!), did not look to have the technique to win the game. Everyone else who came in wasn’t up for it (although to be fair the ‘keeper did have a go, the skipper was out third ball and another chap for a golden).

The boys bowled well to try to winkle out the oppo. Even Powelly took a wicket despite only being able to bowl one ball at pace (4 wides) and four off two paces as his knee gave way. Lownsy was a revelation this week. He found a yard of pace, pitched the ball up much further and after an early flurry of leg side deliveries, camped out on off stump and brought the ball back. Excellent stuff. A win would have probably given him MOM… Hibby too bowled at pace and was accurate in his second spell. He almost cracked the game open with 10 or twelve overs to go removing Barnacle Bill before also deceiving the No 6 with a slower ball. Tommy D was like a wife of forty years who can hear a man pick up a newspaper through solid brick – nagging. Hilly, in his first bowl of the year, produced unplayable delivery after unplayable delivery until the rain got to the ball and took the shine. Del and Fudgey tossed some up – but to no avail. There was not MUCH more they could have done. Certainly it would have been useful to have Powelly firing on all cylinders as his mix of inswinging toe crushers and stump to stump pace but the others did a fantastic job.

So back to the Boardroom. If Sugar knew anything about cricket he might ask Fudgey “What did you think you were doooooing batting on to 45.5 ovvvvvvahhhs?” You would expect Fudgey to answer along the lines that Old K’s made 230 the previous week, this deck was as good as you’d get in the circumstances and the outfield was 5 an over good. Sugar might point the finger at Hibberd and ask about “that” drop. He might even call it a fiasssssssssco. Sugar might ask the middle order why they didn’t press on particularly quickly from 180 for 3 at 33 overs.

The oppo skipper would be in some serious doodoo. 129-8 is not good sport. Denying LBs on flimsy ground is not good sport. Ordering a rearguard that would have put Stalingrad to shame is not good sport. Sugar would also ask what Barnacle Bill does for excitement because he certainly doesn’t get it playing cricket.

Given though that the Wick eventually ran out 9-3 points winners in this game Sugar’d have to invite the oppo skipper in. It’s the rules you see. The oppo skipper would need to try to stave off a sacking for conceding runs at 5.4 an over and then getting a big fat duck. He’d probably take in the guy who got the golden as well. He didn’t do anything else all day. He’d consider his second change bowler who played in black skater trainers (village village village). But he’d have to take in the couple who made the teas. Sugar would have a field day. “ownnnleee four kinds of saaaaandwiches? Tuna and sweeeetcorn? That’s a Pizzzzzzzaaaa recipe not a saaaaaaaandwich. No Egg and Cress even? Tea cups the siiiiizze of blaaaahdy thimbuls?! That’s not a tea it’s a shhhhhhaaaaaaaaaambles. Tea lady? With regret, youre’d fired!” (4.5 out of ten for the statisticians amongst you).

MOM Fudgey.

3rdXI Vs Weybridge Vandals

Team: Risman, Pushpanath, Crane, High, Lloyd ©, Cameron, Copeland +,Kennedy, Taylorson, Nicholls, Ashmore

With the weather looking bleak to say the least you could be forgiven for thinking this game was to be a non event. However, whilst striding out to the middle for the coin toss it seemed both captains were keen to get a game in as it was decided that we would play through rain unless it started getting dangerous. So I promptly lost the toss for the second time in a row and having seen the damage our bowling attack did to Camberley the week previous we were put in to bat. Riso and new man Shyam looked comfortable from the off and put on an opening stand of 74 befor Shayam fell to a catch at point. The young lad sticking up a hand in hope more than expectation only to find the ball stuck and he celebrated like he had won the lottery. Riso followed shortly afterwards and brought Monkey boy to the crease to partner up Cransey in potentially explosive partnership. As it happened Monkey played a really nice innings full of composure and flair. Sadly Adam realised too soon that you need to leave the drive in the bag when playing on Kingsfield and holed out for a disappointing 6. Monkey and Lloydy put on a strong partnership of 74 for the 4th wicket and saw Monkey reach his maiden 3’s fifty with a number of huge 6’s. Lloydy tried his hardest to prove that you can drive on Kingsfield and was dropped twice on the way to 24 before playing round a straight one to bring Jimmy C to the crease. Jimmy played with his usual bottom handed finesse and ticked the runs along nicely. Monkey decided that his head had gone against their grenade chucker. Jimmy C disagreed. Monkey lost his middle stump next ball for 59. Told you he said. Duncan and the chubby chaser upped the run rate nicely over the last few overs till Jimbo top edged to the keeper and brought Harry in for the final few overs. 47 overs 215 on the board and Lloydy drew the innings to a close with Duncan on 37. Teas- Good with the foods of the world theme extended to some Italian cold cuts. Hot tea was unbelievably welcome. 8/10 With 20 overs being the magic number, the energy of recent weeks fielding performances continued and we found ourselves on top pretty quickly. Jimmy bowling down hill with pace and bounce threatened with everyball. A piece of captaining brilliance saw Duncan moved to 2nd slip and the next delivery drew the edge and nestled into his hands. 2 balls later and he has the number 3 LBW without scoring. Ian bowling uphill in his third over gets one to dip in and the bat gloved onto his own stumps to bring us to 3 for 4 off 5. Nice. Jimmy finished his spell with 4 wickets and Ian with 3, a comedy run out and a wicket for chairman nipps topped it off to win by 165 runs and send a happy Wick back to the bar with their supporters. Thanks go to Dave Ashmore whom I dragged from his bed to field for us and to Shyam for turning out to play on Friday night. Next week we are away to Wallington who were relegated from the Surrey Championship so should be more of a test. Fingers crossed for good availability up the club so we can field strong teams throughout.

Fantasy cricket - week 1

A good start to the fantasy league sees J Ratnage take an 89 point lead. Top point scorer this week was Fordy with 143 points following a well earned michelle. Remember with another 17 weeks to go, its a marathon not a sprint. and plenty of time to make up points. Teams can still be entered but after this saturday will not include any previous games points..

Lost 1 x Rubber Chicken

With the new league season underway, the Wick duck tax account is well and truly open and already being levied upon those who fail to trouble the scorer. Indeed in the last two weeks illustrious members such as Jimmy C, Goldmember, Nathan and Melman have all become members of the 08zero club and enjoyed the tricky experience of drinking past a rubber duck in their beer. But there is something missing. This heinous crime of non scoring is going unpunished as Nelson our fine enforcing chicken friend appears to have flown south for winter and not returned. There was a rumour that he was holidaying at Hibby's flat and that Hibby had been choking him to within an inch of his life to put him out of action. Hibby was unavailable to comment...

If anyone has any information pertaining to Nelson's whereabouts please e-mail Wickman (who ever he is) or comment below. This is a recent photo from his holiday album.... the female on the right has been ruled out of the investigation on the basis she is fowl.

HWRCC vs. KINGSTON – Sunday 11th May - Match Report by Jimmy C

HWRCC – 170/4 from 39 overs. Fudgey 48; Goldie 68 (MOM)

KINGSTON – 86/7 off 30-overs. Junaid 3 for very little; Kennedy and Vaider 2 a piece.

Wick achieves winning draw (read: win) against Kingston

They say that a week can be a long time in politics ("They" just do apparently… look it up). But I think the same can be said about, what I would consider being, the harshest and yet most rewarding of all mistresses… namely playing cricket for HWRCC.

After the initial struggles of putting out a 1st Sunday xi last week, Sunday skipper Jimmy C had the run of the club’s best and brightest for the home tie against Kingston on Sunday May 11th. Everyone wanted to play. In fact, so eager were people to play that apparently DBW considered revising his tea schedule to accommodate the extra players. It was that lively.

Jimmy C was overwhelmed by the volume of text messages / emails that came in during the week from players expressing a desire to be a part of the Wick’s newest regime.

Here’s a selection:

Fudgey: “Put me down for Sunday. I need runnnnsssss”. Ok, I will.

Whinney: “Are there any spaces left for Sunday? PE Man!!” For you mate, of course.

Del Boy: “I’m available” – Thanks, but can you play?

Unknown: “It was great to meet you last night. Fancy a drink next weekend?” – No. Piss off and gain 20 pounds. You know I prefer the larger set... I told you that

And so it went on...

Needless to say, Jimmy was thrilled by the squad of players on offer and could hardly wait for Sunday’s match to begin.

On the back of a strong bowling performance last Sunday, the Wick went into this game with a huge sense of confidence and belief (well I know I did). On a hard track that was already cutting up rough from Saturday’s action, Jimmy C won the toss and promptly decided to bat (much to the annoyance of the oppo). It was a hot day, Del was hungover, and none of the boys wanted to do much running in the afternoon sun – FACT. It was a simple decision really.

Golby and big Bobby Sisso opened the batting. Golby, keen to make up for a golden duck in Saturday’s game for the 2s, looked completely at ease out in the middle. With poise, experience and maturity beyond his years, Golby held off the two opening bowlers who were getting the ball to “do a bit” on the ridge, and managed to tick the scoring over nicely. Sisso was experience personified, bedecked in Wick jumper despite the heat (probably because of it) but found himself back in the hutch after only a few overs.

With Fudgey and Golby now at the crease, Kingston really stood no chance in getting back into this game. As the overs ticked by and the bowlers became increasingly tired, both players began launching into their shots. Fudgey, no doubt buoyed by Saturday’s win, played some magnificent long drives over the in field, while Golby played some of the sweetest cover drives you are ever likely to see. At the drinks break, we were only one wicket down, and on track for a solid score.

Not satisfied by the good start, Fudgey tried to pick the scoring rate up, however his exuberance soon got the better of him – holing out to a sort of short-long mid off for a valuable 48 runs. Golby, now joined by Kennedy at the crease, wasn’t fazed. He continued to pile on the runs and, with the later support of Del Boy and Jimmy C, managed to push the Wick to a declared 170 after 39 overs. He finished with a delightful, if not quite redeeming for Saturday's Fantasy Managers, 68 runs.

Teas – ats

After the break, the Wick set about the challenge of taking all 10 wickets. While the 80th birthday celebrations taking place at the club house proved to be some distraction, Jimmy C urged the boys to “$%£! focus” on the task at hand.

With Shaun Whinney debuuuuuing behind the stumps, Junaid and Jimmy C opened the bowling. Like the Sunday before, Junaid bowled out of his skin, quickly taking three wickets in what Sisso described post match as, wait for it, a “lively” opening spell. Jimmy, despite bowling well in conjunction, got nothing. ATS. With that in mind, young colt Nick Parkes, described as the “new Stuart Clark” of Hampton Wick by some, was brought into the attack. Although unlucky not to pick up a wicket, Parko teased Kingston batsmen with pace, nip, bounce, experience and, not to be outdone, fitness.

With the match heading for a dull draw, Jimmy C threw the ball to Duncan Kennedy in a surprise move. Rewarding his faith, big Duncs picked up two wickets in his first few overs, and left Kingston with an almighty struggle to stay in the game.

However, as time drew on, a draw seemed to be the only outcome of the match. While Jimmy rotated his strike force - Del, Hirchy and Vaider (who picked up two wickets) all had a trundle – the game ended in a winning draw. Kingston didn’t look like they wanted it at all, and looked knackered to be honest.

While it was annoying for the skipper not to pick up another win, the Sunday team is still undefeated for 2008. It was a good way to end a great Wick Wash weekend. After the match, Bobby was in fine form, and let loose with some of the funniest anecdotes about cricket and the Wick I’ve ever heard.

So what will be in store for next weekend? Who knows - but like a midget at a urinal, I’m gonna have to stay on my toes. [Here's a urinal which will help you to relax - Ed]

HWRCC 3xi Vs Camberley cc 3xi (h) - Match Report by Lloydy

Risman, Crane, Doddy, Lloyd ©, Copeland +, Cameron, Robinson, Taylorson, Kennedy, Tong, Laight

As the proud captain of the Wick’s newest league side, it was with a degree of trepidation that we approached our first game in our new league. All the ingredients for a good days cricket were there: Weather - Check, 11 players - Check, Oppo - Check, Typical Wick pitch - Check. So all going well it seemed until I lost the toss. The oppo had a car missing and we were missing an Aussie (something about shrimp and barbies I dunno) so I helpfully suggested that we would be happy to field first with 10 to enable their remaining players to arrive.

Wick – 1 Camberly - 0

Kirky opened up with the new ball and bowled a lovely line and length that was instantly a challenge to the batsmen who struggled to get their head round the ball angling across and swinging in. At the other end we opened with new boy Graeme Tong. Text from Matty D mid week [He is rapid! Opening bowler Fact!!]. He wasn’t wrong and Tongy hit the mark immediately and took a wicket with his second ball. He and Kirky formed a formidable partnership, miserly on runs and always threatening to take wickets. At 3 for 3 (with only eight players present) Wick tails were firmly up and Camberly looked to be in a spot of bother.

After a spell of 9 overs for 4 wickets and having ripped through the upper order Tong was replaced by Taylorson who continued the demolition with his own run of 4 wickets from 7 overs for 10 runs, supported by Duncan at the other end who shipped in with a wicket off his 4 overs.

Camberly’s innings closed all out for 54 off 30.3 overs. Advantage Wick!

Teas- Interesting Asian fusion with Chicken Tikka [Good work Lloydy - like your use of the word fusion - Ed] but bread slightly dry so 6/10 [Hmmm. Perhaps you were through them so early that the bread was ever so slightly fresher - Ed]

The Wick innings was opened by Mssrs Risman and Crane – a formidable blend of composure and explosive power against the old ball. With the words “You have 75 overs to chase this score so don’t try and do it in the first 3 Cranesy!” they resisted temptation and I am pleased to say batted with control and common sense.

The score was brought up off just 10 overs without losing a wicket and allowed a satisfied team onto the terrace, Magners in hand to cheer on the 2s. An excellent team performance typified by first class fielding and bowling from all. We won’t win games by this kind of margin every week, but we have set ourselves a yardstick for measuring our bowling and fielding against and if we can get close to maintaining this form we will be a tough team to beat.

WICKWASH

[Image is obviously Tongs four for... - Ed]

1st xi vs Horley (a) Match Report by Matty D

Sat May 10, 1XI win by 60 runs against Horley.

Sayce, Cole, Davies, Raza, O'Mahoney, Mackie, Walsh, Ewen, Whinney, Ford, Iqbal.

May 10 was a truly wonderful day. The Sun was out, lots of skin was on show, and the Wick 1XI eventually showed why they should be challenging for promotion this season with a blistering performance in the field.

We arrived early at Horley, having trekked around South London, Surrey, Gatwick and then part of Sussex. The ground and pavillion is very pleasant at Horley, if a little ropey round the edges (quite literally in the case of the boundary rope). We'd had a bad experience there two years ago in the league cup so were keen to make a point.

No rain for a week and 27 degrees forecast, anyone winning toss with a decent bowling attack simply had to bat first. I duly did so, which seemed to surprise the Horley lot who appeared to feel differently. The track was white, if a little mossy, but essentially a hard deck and runsss were predicted.

Sayce and Cole opened up without alarm. The ball swung a little early on, and the bowling was controlled without being quick or overly threatening. Having caressed the ball around the off side a few times, Sayce fell to short cover with the score at 40. Cole then took over the run scoring, beginning to free his arms, before he tired and dollied a low full toss straight back at the bowler. 70-2.

Raza and O'Mahoney both joined Davies in mini partnerships that started well but ended abruptly. Both looked at ease, before being caught straight and bowled respectively. Davies was slow but untroubled at the other end, before he foolishly again got caught not committing to an attacking stroke. Mackie, whose hamstring and new spikes severly hindered his progress, looked completely out of sorts, and it wasn't a surprise when he gave another caught and bowled for a duck. Walsh got another lbw. Whether is was out or not, you gotta use your bat.

100-7.

Joey, Whinney, young Junaid and in particular Ford then took up the challange of getting the score to a defendable total. Joey used his long handle, Ford did likewise and Whinny nurdled it around. A score of 146 represented a below par batting performance, but the momentum achieved at the end of the innings gave impetus to the team, who were galvanised and ultra determined.

Teas - 4/10. A bit poor to be honest. Nothing original, although chicken nuggets are nice.

Joey had received a send off from the bowler when he was caught on the boundary. Rule 1 of cricket: dont anger a 6-7 left arm quickie. Ball 1 he came to the crease. 80%. Dot ball. Ball 2, he galloped to the crease, inswinging yorker, bowled, gone. Joey was past the batsman before he'd realised he was out. A perfect start that set the tone.

With an attcking field, in his next over, Joey promptly setup the #3. Give him a short and wide one (4), and then bowl it quicker at half volley and see if he middles that one. He didnt he nicked it, and O'Mahoney snaffled it by his ankles. Incidentally in two weeks of 'keeping Adam has not conceeded one bye.

Whinney then joined the party, the other opener lbw. Whinney pulled up lame with cramp after ball 5 of his 4th over. Kam finished the over. One ball. The skipper on strike. Out bowled. You couldnt script it better. Stories - just what cricket is all about.

At 44-4, Horley were struggling wickets wise, but were going a a fair lick thanks to the #4 who was smashing it around. One six off Joey was immense.

...........Fordy mate Fordy mate Fordy mate....

Enter David Ford, who with his usual precision, bowled just short of a length, let the ball and the pitch do the work, and nuggeted his way to 5 priceless wickets, including the crucial #4 who was forced into playing a non-boundary scoring shot and ended up lbw playing across the line.

The rest quickly fell as Horley were all out for 85 inside 20 overs.

A great performance in the field. MOM Ford for aggressive hitting and picking up 5 wickets.

Game on...

HWRCC 2xi vs Horley (h) Match Report

Singh, Clark+, Fudge, Gobly, Wright, Jackson, Soppitt, Powell, Donnelly, Webster, Lown

HWRCC 227-5 (Fudge 72)
Horley 93-10

HWRCC wins

2s deliver Wickwash

What a day. Blue skies with big old stratocumulus. Hot, humid almost dank skies. An alliterative haze hung heavy over Hampton Wick. At twelve the eleven arrived, changed and practiced. Horley hovered.

Who cares how the Wick has turned into a hot, hard deck but all of a sudden, second week in May, happy Wick bats should rejoice. Suddenly after a 2007 in which the only thing that was predictable was that it wouldn’t do what you thought, here was a deck with bounce and carry. Both. Together. In the same ball.

Horley won the toss and decided to field. Their skipper was a bit freaked out by the Wick’s practice session perhaps. But this was a stinking afternoon to bowl. Yes it might have rained a bit the day before. It might have been greasy. But Clarky had been playing fetch with Wickmutt and a cricket ball that morning and he would swear later that the dog’s lead had taken all the moisture off the square. The burning heat removed the rest.

Nathan and Clarky opened. Clarky was sent in in lieu of AJ who was travelling back from a family do the night before in a Northern industrial town. Before he had time to get anxious, Nathan had holed out at mid on from a no ball and then wellied an off drive to… cover to collect the first taxworthy (quack) innings of the day. 1-1. Not what the captain had ordered. Clarky was supposed to be smashing it around, not Nathan.

Fudge and Clark consolidated and found little to worry about. This was a surprisingly true surface despite being greener than a first year university student doing a stint on reception during the holidays and being asked to use the PA system to locate Mike Hunt. It was hotter than it would have been were they trying to film To Kill a Mockingbird on the outfield. And the the oppo’s opening bowler pulled a hammy. So the first wicket down partnership just left the good balls and hit the rest.

Clarky almost died because he was forced to run a lot (all run fours might look good in the scorebook but they look shit when 39 year olds participate in them in 27 degree heat). They put a 70 partnership together before Clark turned for a non existent second, slipped and was stranded trying to get back. Questions were asked but it was just a bad accident. Clark was wearing studded boots etc etc etc.

Goldy – selected by 99 per cent of all fantasy selectors – managed to make it look as if he had edged a leggy into the gloves of the keeper. It was his first ball sadly. Quack. AJ and Fudge then pushed the score along to 110 until Fudge conspired with the oppo to get out when on 72. Frankly he should have got 172 because up until he got out the wickets had been taken off a full toss, a run out where someone slipped and then a leg break which turned so much that the umpire gave it out.

AJ and Wrighty then set about piling on the runs. Both made unflustered progress mostly scoring straight or behind square in blocks of four runs. Eventually AJ decided he couldn’t run any more. This, he said, was down a muscle pull in his thigh. Mostly your scribe thinks that’s because he was out the night before giving it large on the dancefloor. Cutting some shapes. Etc. Well anyway he felt a bit tired and started limping. He asked for a runner. At that point the Wick had lost three wickets. Some knob was going to get stitched up.

It wouldn’t be Fudge. What skipper goes out to run in the heat of the midday Sun? Only mad dogs really get involved. Would you really send Nathan out to run? Probably not. So, instead, send out the oldest man in the team (by probably 9 years) who had to spend 10 minutes in the cellar to cool down earlier. Next time just keep your mouth shut and deal in boundaries. Clarky had once given AJ a paid job in a PR company. He was upset when AJ was unable to persuade his colleagues to turn that into a full time position. Even more so on Saturday. Clarky would have enjoyed waiting for a fresh Alex to turn up to work on the Monday morning. Before asking him to… well in PR you don’t have really crud jobs… spend all week… licking the dirty bits out of the photocopier. Or something.

AJ eventually ran Wrighty out a boundary or so short of a well deserved 50 (reactolite rapides are so yesterday but on Wrighty they seem moderrrrrrnnnnn) using Clark as an instrument before proceeding to a sublime Aj-like 50. Sisso’s teeth – Sisso had AJ in his fantasy team – were visible reflected off the moon by the Hubble Telescope. And the innings was closed leaving Horley to score 228 off one more over than the Wick had managed 227. Any grumbles? All thought that the Horley skipper could have announced himself earlier. Otherwise… nope.

Sadly Horley didn’t fancy it in reply. If, they said, we had offered them 180 off 55 then (looking at their nails, fingers scrunched into their palms) they might have had a go. Oh please. Why not bat first then and set 180? Tea, by the way, was a really disappointing 5.5.

5.5? Yes. Not one bit of bread could be called fresh. Forget everything else. The – bread – was – not – fresh. No wonder Horley didn’t come out firing. How could they on stale bread? Perhaps Dave knew which way the 2s toss would fall? It totally undid the good work Dave had pulled off by creating chicken tikka open sandwiches. Happy Daves? No.

Horley didn’t really have a go. Who would have after that tea? They lost two wickets pretty quickly and then didn’t rebuild. They eventually made 93 in reply. Webbo, Lownsy, Powelly and Timmy F bowled such tight lines that there was nothing going. So Horley shut up shop. Reeeeeeally early. Webbo was the Q of quick if not quite the a of accuracy. Del came on and selflessly threw up some relatively expensive overs to get Horley to hole out. They did. He took three for. At least the hammy victim Horley opener smashed some. He will be pleased with his batting. At the other end Powelly bowled a mature full and straight spell that cleaned up 4 bats. It was quick, accurate and unplayable. Powell is back. FACT.

The fielding was amazing. Golby juggled a phenomenal catch at gully to bring one down which suggests with practice he could be one of the all time Wick gully greats. Clarky coped well with some interesting crop spraying. Fudgey and Webbo in particular fielded like demons. While Horley conceded 40 runs to misfields and poor throws the Wick challenged every bat to risk something. No one did.

The Wick won with many overs to spare. That Horley felt we had gone too far in scoring 220+ off half the overs suggests they may not be the most ambitious oppo we will face this year. No matter. This was a good game, fought at close quarters. Both sides acquitted themselves well.

Powelly MOM.

Perfect.

Wickwash - three league teams. How good is that!?

A winter or so ago a few people sat around the clubhouse thinking about what steps we needed to take to take HWRCC on another level. Rashly it was decided that we would recruit to create a third xi. We'd enter the league we said. Just look at this! The first official all Fullers League Wickwash IN THE HISTORY OF THE CLUB. Never been done before! And what a victory for the 3s! Match reports please!

Sunday xi vs Ashtead (home) Match Report by Jimmy C

HWRCC – Jimmy C (Skip), Matty D, Mark, Harry, Junaid, Vaider, Duncan, Maloj, Del Boy, Sam Kemp, Lloydy

125-9 (Matty D 48, Del Boy 25)

ASHTEAD

67 all out (Junaid 5 /15 – lively!)

HWRCC won by 58 runs

If there was any doubt that pressure applied to someone in the right fashion can cause them to do something you want them to do (think water boarding, dripping a tap in a darkened room, blindfolded) you need look no further than this match report. It is a sad state of affairs when someone needs to be cajoled into writing about what they love and dream about every night (aside from the ‘larger set’), but that is precisely what has happened to yours truly.

Following threats from the 1st Team Captain and Wickman to get his proverbial arse into gear, which included removal from employment and…….actually, that pretty much did it, I caved in and penned the following match report of HWRCC Sunday XI vs Ashtead.

Like Josef Fritzl on holiday in Thailand while the kids are left at home, I simply can’t take leave of my responsibilities. So I’m sorry. There – I said it. I’ve learnt my lesson. And I can assure you that, unlike Fritzl, I will not leave you in the dark any longer over the success of the Sunday team.

And what success we had on Sunday May 4th 2008.

Following an almighty struggle to get 11 players to commit to a game (Geez boys, it’s not like cricket is a girl demanding a full term relationship…..Actually, it kind of is now that I think about it), Debut Wick Skipper Jimmy C led out the first Sunday team of the season against an Ashtead side which Lownsy described, in a more sober moment, as “good” (he’s a man of many words…..).

After promptly losing the toss (ominous start), the Wick were sent in to bat on a sticky wicket. With relatively little experience of captaining (read none), Jimmy C displayed a great deal of uncertainty as he put together his batting order. While Matty D was a certainty to open, it was very much a case of picking and hoping that the remaining players who said they could “bat a bit”, weren’t just pulling a fast one.

Aside from handy performances from Matty D (48), Del Boy (25), it turned out that the rest were pulling a fast one and couldn’t “bat a bit” (I include myself on that score). Although Ashtead bowled on the spot, with the right application and “experience” (I had it throw it in) we should have scored more than just the 125 runs we scraped together. Save the final efforts of Del and Junaid, we would have been looking at a much lower total.

Players go to the break. Tea – ats.

Pep talk time.

Quick to establish who was the boss out in the field, Jimmy C rallied the troops. “Talk it up” was his refrain (amongst other inaudible nonsense) as the boys got together in the huddle. He said that with the right pressure on the batsman and the right “talk”, we might just be able to nick a result.

That turned out to be a massive underestimate.

Taking the game by the thruff of the scroat, Jimmy C put himself and young Junaid in to open the bowling. While Jimmy managed to keep it consistent and the on the spot, young Iqbal let loose. Taking 5 for 15 in a blistering opening spell, Junaid took out the top order with ease. Line, length, nip, height, swing - his spell had everything which makes him worthy of the Wick.

Despite the terrific start and with the game very much in our corner, we appeared to be running out of bowling stocks. However, sensing his carpe diem moment, Skipper Jimmy C sent his trump “surprise card” into bowl.

Some say he is the chap who waited on us at last year’s end of season dinner. Del knows him as Maloj. But to everyone (read Jimmy C) out on the field last Sunday, he is now the new Anil Kumble of the Wick. With pace, spin, aggression, length and…wait for it… experience, Maloj bamboozled the batsman – much like Anil does. Welcome to the Wick my son. And while he didn’t pick up any wickets, it didn’t matter. He had made a statement. The batsmen were shocked and it was game over.

Vaider and Del then came into the attack and picked up the remaining wickets, leaving Ashtead with a miserly 67 runs at the close. It was a great day’s cricket and debut skipper Jimmy C was over the moon with the result.

First win of the season.

I can’t wait for next Sunday.

1xi vs Godalming - Match Report

This is what you could have won... Bully's starrrrrr prize...

At the weekend the Wick 1s made their now traditional start to the season by losing in the first round of the cup. Wickman received the following match report and pusblishes it in good faith word for word.

On Saturday 3rd May, 2008, HWRCC 1XI lost in the Fuller’s Surrey League Cup to Godalming. Congratulations go to our opponents who deserved their victory. Further details can be found from the league website (NC to insert link).

Wickman doesn't know who NC is and can't find a link. So this is it.

Wickman did hear on the grapevine that perhaps we weren't at our best in the field on Saturday which might be the reason for the brevity here...

Something for the weekend sir? Team News...

The first league teams of the year are out. For those of you that have been holding off on Fantasy Team selection (come on guys its a sodding tenner and its for the good of the club!!!) now is the time to get your submission in to Dom Lown. You know it makes sense.

1xi vs Horley (away)
MEET: Skipper to confirm
START: 13:30

Sayce, Walsh, Hooper, Raza, Mahoney +, Davies ©, Mackie, Cole, Ewen, Whinney, Ford

2xi vs Horley (home) Meet 12:00
Start 13:30

Singh, Jackson, Fudge ©, Golbfrapp, Wright, Clark +, Soppitt, Donnelly, Powell, Iqbal, Lown

3xi vs Camberley CC (home)
MEET: 12:30
START 13:30

Risman, Murray, Doddy, Crane, Cameron, Lloyd ©, Copeland +, Tong, Taylorson, Robinson, Laight

Spectacular Cricketing Names (2)

For those of you old enough to remember the extraordinary gnashers of Esther Rantzen flashing away on Sunday nights when telly was rubbish (it really was unbelievably bad) on That's Life the name of Cyril Fletcher will be a distant but painful memory. Cyril used to do the unfunny readers letters bit. "I am indebted to a reader from Swanley who..." was his catchphrase. Wickman is indebted to a reader from Brentford who thinks that we should get this gentleman down the Wick. Wickman is inclined to agree. In fact Cyril was probably a bit of a one too even if he doesn't look it. Banter...

Next Social

The next social at the club will be new members' evening on 17 May. Entry is a modest £3 to cover some minor costs. Your compere for the evening will be Paul Hibby Hibberd and your DJ - none other than Resident denizen of the wheels of steel, DJ Fudgey Fudge of GeniusSound. Ideally we would like there to be dancing and rapid consumption of alcohol leading to intoxication and the having of fun in the company of adults. So you will need to plan ahead. Find approximately £25 and put it in a drawer. Do not touch this until the morning of 17 May. Write in diary "New Members Evening at The Wick". Tell significant others the cold hard facts that they can either join you down the Wick or nothing. If you are a new member, do not even THINK about being somewhere else (new members is defined by not having been to a new members evening before which is the vast majority of the club) and think of it as an opportunity to make new friends and therefore enjoy your cricket more this year. Thank you. May 17. 8pm or whenever the last car returns to the Wick.

Calling all Coaches

Gentlemen. Part of having a colts set up at the club includes the commitment to help out in the fantastic work that Tony and the team put in on a Sunday morning. For the majority of us, Sunday morning is a painful time, often a time for introspection and forensic examination of the previous evening's exploits. However there are 120 youngsters learning the skills of our game down the Wick at the exact same time. Matty has put up a volunteering list on the club notice board. It would be good to see some names on it shortly... one Sunday morning in the season can't be completely impossible, surely?

Village Performance by Wick 2s

Banstead CC 2xi vs HWRCC 2xi
HWRCC won toss and batted
HWRCC 120 (Au 50+) Banstead 122-1

Walsh, Singh, Fudge*, Golborn, Clark+, Kennedy (JFK), Taylorson, Parkes, Junaid, Powell, Lown

Banstead. Five whole leagues above us. A club reeking with monies. Not one but two pavilions. Pavillion One an ancient beast totally beautiful with tiled roof. Drop down dead gorgeous viewed from square on across the pitch. Pav two where bar is more of a jury rigged pre-fab. A bright green oasis thingy in gruesomely grim suburban North Surrey. A cart track entry road that winds round rural fields. And then a cricket club worth visiting. A gem. Clarky happy.

The weather was set fair after a week of on off rain. Clarky happy. The deck was a new word – chewy. Brown in a bad way. Green in a bad way. The outfield was like glass… but glass that has been washed and tumbled on the beach. Smooth. Smooth but very sloowwwwwww.

Skipper Fudge decided to bat first on winning the toss, reasoning that we would grind out a competitive total over sixty or so overs of attritional cricket. How wrong he was. Moments after an encouraging fielding practice the entire game unravelled as last week’s oppo cancellation caused deep rifts.

Firstly Clarky had failed to pack the wand. Clarky unhappy. A slight hangover left him unable to distinguish between bat handles. He had only a cut down fielding training bat to play with. Like Harry Potter bereft he would be unable to create magic. Clarky had also omitted to pack a towel which similarly destroyed his ability to remain focused. In a final nod to poor planning he had failed to pack gum. This was not good. Clarky beside himself.

Similarly underprepared, Fudgey had only packed one pad. A lie in after free Coronas the night before had also left him short of preparation time meaning that he only had one boot ready for action. Walshy was reminded by Clarky that Duck Tax applied and was almost immediately undone by one that kept low in partnership with an umpire who was keen to assist Banstead’s start. £5 poorer and so briefly at the crease that Fudgey was forced into action attired like a Colt from a poor family Walsh was advised to seek £2.50 from Clarky and £2.50 from the umpire. Questions were asked of Fudgey by Banstead’s fielders keen to understand this sartorial nonchalance. Shortly afterwards he popped one that stuck in the pitch to midwicket. This saved Banstead’s close fielders from having to think up any more gags.

When Nathan walked across his stumps and lost his leg stick for not very many the Wick looked extremely village at 12-3. The deck was not blameless but those assembled had seen much worse not that far from Kingston Bridge. A couple of rusty shots which had not been worked out of the system the previous week following Old Stiff’s cancellation were largely responsible. Auborn and Clarky tried to rebuild and edged along for half an hour before Clarky middled one with his pad and was adjudged adjacent.

Duncan and Auborn then scored the majority of the Wick’s runs in a fifty or so partnership that was shared evenly between them. Duncan looked at ease despite a long lay off from willow-wielding. Goldy looked… well… like Goldy. Front foot defence – check. Late cut – check. Slap back over the bowler’s head – check. Fifty runs – check. Without his innings the Wick would have looked less like a Village side and more like a small rural settlement without a church. Hamlet.

When Duncan perished in the 20s, Taylorson briefly flourished attracting action from those on the boundary considering their fantasy line ups. Nick Parkes, on debut for the twos, scrapped valiantly. Junaid tried obdurate defence. Both were unpicked by a strike bowler who had been held back from the early skirmish when the Wick was busy self-destructing. Lownsy managed to preserve his average of infinity while others fell about him. 120 was at least 60 short of being defendable. A really rather poor display all in all.

Your food critic is inclined to treat teas more favourably this year. It is not inconceivable that an 8.5 or even 9 could be awarded in 2008 under the right circumstances. This, however, was not going to achieve those lofty heights. A plate of exotic biscuits ensured that it should be taken seriously. As did moist cake and buttered malt loaf. However, like a medium pacer unable to get seam or swing, in the sanwiches there was little variation.

Top marks can only really be attained by those seeking innovation in bread products coupled with biscuit arrays and cakage. It’s just not good enough to go for thin white sliced in every sandwich. Have they not heard of ciabattas, pittas, wholemeal, baps, bloomers etc? Harsh maybe, but that trinity must be observed. 7 is still a good mark, and probably excellent this early in the season, but it signals room for improvement. There was some amusing theatre as an opposition lad who would tip the scales at 18 stone or more started to strip the rice paper off the base of macaroon or similar. It looked to your correspondent to be too late for such half measures. Only stomach stapling or a wired jaw would have made any real difference.

The Wick’s performance in the field was a great improvement on the batting effort. With only 120 runs to play with we managed to keep a fairly relaxed Banstead out there for in excess of 30 overs with a fairly inexperienced attack. Powell looked good value once he had changed ends and dealt with a few issues with his run up. Lown was miserly but perhaps lacked penetration on a day when the ball didn’t zip around in the air. Junaid took the only wicket of the day, removing a debutant wicketkeeper who looked to have been sent in in an attempt to assess ability and temperament. On this showing he will perhaps not open the batting again...

The other opener was a classier bat than is provided for by Fullers opposition and he progressed to a sedate fifty and probably made sixty or more in the end without giving a cut and dried chance. He looked best when on-driving but was compact and unflashy. Utilitarian if you like. The fella who eschewed chewing the rice paper earlier clagged an aggressive thirty or so mostly hitting across the line. Early in his innings he offered two half chances as these shots went awry but once he found his range his natural muscularity allowed him to punish anything at all short. He hit a heavy ball...

Nick Parkes looked surprisingly composed with the ball given the savagery of the batting. He will take wickets this season. Duncan was treated harshly but does just enough with the ball that when tracks harden out with sunshine he will be a tricky proposition. Here the deck was just too slow. Taylorson was on the spot but was brought into the fray too late to affect the outcome. Walsh tossed up a couple at the death, but the corpse of the game had been pronounced earlier in the ambulance so there was little chance he would be able to revive the Wick’s fortunes.

Generally in the field the boys looked sharpish. There were positives to be taken from the run out for Powelly and Lownsy who needed the overs under their belts. Clarky picked up some practice taking grubbers standing up to the stumps. Fudgey hit the sticks from cover to hone in that lazer close fielding. Some new Austrian cellar related banter was essayed in the changing rooms. It was pretty funny. Some dubious rhyming slang was dusted off. The prospect of laptop scoring was discussed. It was decided that modern technology would certainly enliven scoring as you could view some Frankie Vaughan while sticking in the numbers. Lessons were learned about packing. Clarky will not leave his bat at home again. Gum will be purchased. Towels will be remembered. Fudge will also buy gum and will not walk out to bat again this year with odd pads and shoes.

That’s not to say that with better packing we would have beaten Banstead. Credit is due to them for a thoroughly professional performance which suggested they’d been practicing. Their bowlers found rhythm early on and attacked the right areas. They caught one or two very good catches. Their umpire was in excellent form for the LBW shouts too – he too was immaculately prepared right down to the manicure on his giving finger. The sun was out, the wind was light, there was a crowd of almost 50 people watching, the facilities were excellent for the time of year (although the David Gowers were not particularly appealing) and it was definitely cricket.

Congratulations to Golby for a typically obdurate batting performance in making 50. The other bats will not have such a poor day again this season and the Wick will not be village again. MOM Golby.