Teams for this Saturday

A snafu over pitches means that we will get two teams out this week. Which is a good thing because avaialability has been better. Looks like a weekend for sub aqua gear anyway but there you go. 1s are home to Godalming in the cup, 2s are away to the mighty Banstead who are a gazillion leagues above us in the Surrey champ. Looking at this picture of their ground they seem to play in black and white. A stern test for both sides Wickman thinks. *pssst make it a time game and bowl first Fudgey*

Skippers will be in touch re timings etc but Wickman reckons if the 2s were at the Wick ready to leave by 11.30 that would be a good indicator of what to tell your missus / loved ones. 1s would probably want to be there for 12.15 Wickman would have thought. Difficult to say really.

1xi
1)Cole
2)Jackson
3)Davies ©
4)Raza
5)Mackie
6)Hibberd
7)Stephens +
8)Cameron
9)Whinny
10)Ewen
11)Ford
Umpire: Keith "readyaimfire" Nicholls
Scorer: Alison Whitcher

2xi
1)Walsh
2)Singh
3)Fudge ©
4)Golbourn
5)High
6)Clark +
7)Taylorson
8)Robinson
9)Powell
10)Iqbal
11)Lown
Umpire: Frank Henry Bean
Scorer: R Descartes

Match Report - 3rd xi vs Cheam Cavaliers - by Lloydy

It’s good to be back…

The first pre season game seems to have come upon us at a rapid rate of knots. It seems like only yesterday that we were down in Southampton, the rain coming down in buckets, talk of league defeats by the narrowest of margins and people's individual moments of mupperty ringing in our ears. I almost fell off my seat when the announcement of forthcoming net sessions was announced. “But it’s still dark at 5pm and the Corona doesn’t taste right yet. It can’t be cricket time already.” Was my retort. In the preceding week the highs and lows of selection began to become apparent though despite having 30 odd players MIA we managed to select 3 sides for our first warm up game. (Well done lads).

The ground was a pleasant backwater public park beside Ham House for this 40 over a side encounter, where the trimmed out field was married up nicely with a nice flat but very green batting road. Monkey Boy and our SA overseas player began eyeing up the short boundary and I went off to win the toss, which I subsequently won and elected to bat.

We got off to a flying start as Forrest (SA) and Tom B-W (both hockey recruits for 08) set a ferocious pace of 10 an over until Forry fell LBW, (triggered by Kirky- sorry) for 18 to be replaced by Monkey who did what Monkey and kept the pace up nicely. At 100 odd of 10 over’s Jimmy C at square leg shouted “Is it 40 over’s each?” and our entire team grinned and nodded.

Tom fell having provided the stability for the big hitters to bring Doddy to the crease who started well and played with good composure. Monkey then fell going for 1 smash too many and brought Jimmy C to the crease with the words “Slow Down, Play yourself in and you have 28 over’s still to bat”. Doddy and Jimmy put on an excellent, composed partnership of 80 odd runs with both looking like they had been netting for months. 5 to go and Doddy was squared up in front with the ball staying low and LBW was correctly asked for and awarded to bring your scribe and skipper to the crease. A Flurry of quick singles and doubles ensued to see Jimmy C to his maiden Wick 50 before falling for 55 in the penultimate over. I managed to pick out the smallest player on their team to hit over his head for a big 6 over mid off, as part of a quick fire 16 and Harry smashed a nice 4 off his second ball before running himself out. 215-5 off 40 over’s… first game of the season… That’ll do nicely.

Teas were an interesting mix of biscuits and crisps out of the packet with a melee of home made sarnies. Slightly larger than we are accustomed to meant less gluttony all round but a nice BLT made up for it. Rating 5.

Our fielding was a little on the rusty side as you would expect and we were thankful for a slow outfield for once. That said, Kirky produced a lovely economical spell and was unlucky not to be rewarded with a wicket. Likewise Robbo produced the goods after an initial wobble and was equally as miserly on the runs. The oppo scored at about 5 an over and apart from punishing our bad stuff seemed to offer little in scoring shots. New recruit Nick Parkes came onto replace Tommy for a full 8 overs and was rewarded with a good 4-for and bowled a nice line and length. He was ably assisted by Jimmy c who kept the runs down and had their high scoring number 2 dropped twice before Tom B-W taking over from Nick at the tennis court end bowled him as part of his own 4 wicket haul. Dave Ashmore had little chance to shine but did get to briefly turn his arm over in the cause. All in all an encouraging start to the new league campaign with some excellent individual performances. Fielding and bowling practice all round and some consistency throughout the club and this will be a great season.

P.S Corona just tastes better at the wick after a Wickwash! P.P.S Here's a cavalier as driven in Cheam

"Bhaji" wrist slapped for using bindis...

Well there's a dubious title to a thread even if Wickman says so himself. But our old mate Bhaji is back in the news again testing the disciplinary machine to its absolute limit.

Over the weekend he slapped Indian Test star Sree Santh round the kisser for some reason or another in the heat of yet another defeat for his team.

Unfortunately for him instead of the out in the middle situation with Symmo this was done in front of both teams as they left the field and this time he is bang to rights.

Somehow the IPL have managed to come down on him and come down hard without dicking about too much. He forfeits all his match fees for the tournament which someone somewhere has calculated at $750k. He probably won't play again this year. The ICC will hopefully tuck in too. Now we all know the dollar's not doing too well against the pound right now but Wickman bets that would have bought him a small semi-detached somewhere in the UK...

What will be interesting to note now is whether, like in the usual ICC shenanigans, Bhaji can hire Messrs Sue, Grabbit and Runne and get himself off the hook and keep cricket on the front pages for all the wrong reasons.

There was an article not so long ago by one of cricket's sages - Martin-Jenkins or the like - saying that the day when the sport descended into physical abuse was not too far away. So here we are. Doesn't feel very good.

Fantasy Cricket Comes to The Wick

This year the Wick is running its own fantasy cricket tournament. All money raised goes straight to the club's funds for new nets.

All members who will play league cricket this year will be assigned a value.

Anyone who wants to enter (which should be all of you) then:

Picks 11 players. 4 batsman, 4 bowlers, 1 keeper, 2 all rounders

The value of the team must not exceed 60 points (TBC)

There won't be any transfers once the teams are entered (even if Mackie breaks something - it is a risk you take in picking him)

Points are awarded as follows:

runs: 1 run = 1 point
50 = bonus 25 points
100 = bonus 50 points
duck = -20 (-40 for golden)

Bowling: Wickets = 20 points
5 wicket haul = bonus 25 points
10 wicket haul = bonus 50 points

Fielding: Catches/run out = 20 points
Stumping = 20 points

Entry costs £10 a team. You can enter as many teams as you want. The prize for the winner will be £100 (or 20% of the money from entries - this is all for the club but bragging rights are worth a lot). Matches are all 3 league teams for the 2008 season. Final entry for teams will be 16th May 2008.

The player list will be sent out shortly along with an application form. If you are wishing to play, send the form back as an excel file saved under (your name)_wickfanasycricket. (ie mattdavies_wickfantasycricket.xls) Money will be collected at the club on match days/training or a cheque can be sent. Details will follow on application email.

Please forward this email onto anyone else who may be interested. Any further details can be found by emailing me back.

This is all for fun so any final decisions will be down to the organizing committee.

Please try to get application forms back as soon as they are sent out. Once the league is underway, the player points and fantasy table will be posted on the blog during the next week.

Thanks

Dominic
wickfantasycricket@hotmail.co.uk

p.s - Please don't hold any grudges based on the value you are given or your role. If you feel undervalued then be the bargain buy this season! Need to fill a certain amount of positions as well.

Jell in genealogy shocker

Wickman is perturbed to discover that the motivation for the creation of the Wick may have come from a man descended from those garlic crunchers from accross the channel. Jell has uncovered the history of the Wick's founder and first president and Wickman has great pleasure in reprinting this here. It could very well be the most useful thing ever contributed to the blog:

The Reverend Frederick John Champion de Crespigny

Le Wickman premier avait des ancêtres français

It seems we have to thank the French for our cricket club. Frederick, the prime mover in founding the club and its first President had French origins. His family can trace its lineage back to 16th century France, to Richard Champion, a member of a noble Norman family. After the revocation of the Edict of Nantes in 1685 the Protestant Champion family headed for England, settling initially in London.

The family retained its links with France over the intervening years as Frederick’s father, Augustus James, was born in Nice in 1791. Frederick himself was born 12 December 1822 at the house of his cousin, Sir William Bowyer Smijth, at Hill Hall, in Essex. Little is known of Frederick’s early life other that his father died at sea when Frederick was 3 years old. Augustus had served with Nelson and Collingwood.

Frederick went up to Magdalene College, Cambridge in 1840 and played one game for the University, but not versus Oxford so did not get a blue.

He was ordained a clergyman in 1847 and served as a curate at Hockerton, and then Southwell Minster, both in Nottinghamshire. He was next a curate at Emmanuel Church, Camberwell, from 1850 to 1858, during which time he married Rosabelle Mary Wythe in Essex 18 August 1857. He then became the vicar of St John the Baptist, Hampton Wick from 1858 until his death in 1887.

Frederick’s first class cricket career consisted of just 3 matches. The first was in May 1843 when he played for Cambridge University v the MCC at Parker’s Piece in Cambridge. This was a 12 a side game and batting at 12 in the university’s 1st innings he was bowled for a duck, a very Wicklike start to his first class career. [It is not known whether he paid Duck Tax - Ed] In the MCC first innings his older brother Claude William opened the batting and was similarly out for a duck, although there is no evidence he ever played for the Wick. Would we have wanted him? [He would probably have paid lots of Duck Tax so yes]. This was Claude’s only first class match. In the university 2nd innings Frederick recorded a creditable 7 not out, again batting at number 12!

His 2nd match was for Nottinghamshire. He was a member of Notts County Cricket Club and played for the local Southwell side when he was living there. His single appearance for the county was versus Sussex at Trent Bridge in 1848. The scorecard shows that he bowled 3 overs for 7 runs in the Sussex first innings, including a wide and 2 overs for 5 runs in their second innings, this time including 2 wides and failed to take a wicket in either innings, a very Wicklike bowling performance. Battings at 10 in the only innings of Notts he scored a splendid 20 not out from a total of 134 scored in 95 overs. Slow going even by current Wick standards! Some enquiries regarding his cricket later in life led to him replying: ‘In bye gone times I had the honour and pleasure of playing for the famous County of Notts’.

The St Lawrence ground at Canterbury was the scene of his 3rd and last first class appearance playing for the Gentlemen of England against the Gentlemen of Kent in 1851. He did not bowl and scored 15 batting at 8 in the only innings of England.

The 1861 Census for Hampton Wick finds Frederick and Rosabelle living at the Parsonage in Park Road, along with 4 servants. With a groom who doubled as a gardener, a cook and 2 maids he must have had plenty of time for cricket.

The cricket club was founded in 1863 and 2 reports appeared in the Surrey Comet, the first in May 1863 reporting that the requisition for a grant of part of Bushy Park had been successful. The second article in June was a report on the first match, an inter club game, which was played on Tuesday 9 June 1863.

There has been much debate over the name of the club and the inclusion of Royal. Some jealous clubs have said it was an affectation introduced by us after the 2nd World war. We can now lay that to rest. The Surrey Advertiser has a headline “The Royal Cricket Club” reporting the annual meeting of the club, published in March 1873, under the section of Hampton Wick news. The report states the club’s patron was His Serene Highness the Prince Teck. The Prince was a German aristocrat from Württemberg who spent some of his later life at White Lodge in Richmond Park.

Frederick died 25th June 1887. His death was reported in the 2nd July edition of the Surrey Comet with a very long and fulsome tribute. The report included: “He was an enthusiastic lover of English field sports, and excelled especially as cricketer. He had been for many years president of the Hampton Wick Cricket Club which owes much of its original success and present prosperity to his hearty and energetic support”. Surely the editor of the paper must have forgotten to include the Royal?

His wife Rosabelle survived him until she died in 14th December 1902. She was listed on the 1901 Census living with her niece in Hampton Wick. She was recorded as an imbecile. I guess that’s what happens to all us Wick people in the end.

Richard Jell
April 2008

Match Report by Matty D - 1s vs Deando Ruxley

The 1XI started 2008 with a victory against Deando Ruxley.

Our team included the returning Raza, the debutants Hooper and Walsh, and the promotion of Junaid following the late cancellation of the 2xi fixture (and the now traditional pre-season injury to Mackie).

Deando Ruxley is a pleasant ground in Ewell adjacent to a LA Fitness complex, meaning there were always people around. The ground itself is large with two cricket squares. The ground was lush and greener than Alan Titchmarsh. The pitch reflected this. Recently relaid they were reluctant to take too much grass off, especially early season, so it was destined to be a slow track. And it proved to be the case.

Losing the toss, the Wick were inserted, with Fullers League rules being the order of the day. Sayce and Cole put on an excellent opening partnership of near 50, although with the outfield as slow as it was, it was worth another 25 on top of that. No boundaries were scored, but lots of 2s were run!

Sayce fell. Bowled. He was quickly followed by Hooper, who found it difficult to adjust from Joey at The Oval to slow dobbers at Deando. Raza, who literally hadn't picked up a bat since 2007, came out all guns and middled it from ball one. He fell soon enough however, middling one straight to mid off. Cole, probably bored, skied one and the Wick were stuttering slightly at 65-4.

O'Mahoney and the debutant Walsh patiently nurdled their way to another important 50 partnership, O'Mahoney taking the lead with an impressive 50 making scoring look much easier than anyone else all day. With the score at 140-odd, Davies and Ewen came to the crease. Davies ran himself out trying to do a Mackie, whilst Ewen decided to bring the long handle out and found a maximum straight.

The Wick 168-7 declared off 47.5

Teas. Simple sandwiches, but lovely soft bread and additionals of pate, home made chocolate treats and the ol' scotch egg/pork pie combo. No complaints, other than the squash which was weak. 6/10.

The aim was to give batsmen time in the middle, and bowlers overs under their belt. Ewen opened up, and after waiting 30 overs for the first Wick boundary... Deando managed one off ball one. Joey and Ted Goodwin's opening overs each were expensive, with the plucky Africaans speaking opener happy to bludgeon everything Gilchrist style. However, Ewen proved too strong and nailed him lbw pretty soon afterwards, before nailing the #3 in the same over with a banana of a fast inswinger. Goodwin followed this with an lbw, leaving Deando struggling at 25-3. Always on top of things thereafter, the Wick rotated the bowling to give everyone overs. Ford proved again he is lethal on such tracks, nagging his way to 4 wickets, two of which were expertly caught by O'Mahoney standing up.

Special mention to Junaid who picked up a wicket on debut, bowling 4 excellent overs of controlled medium pace. His bowling was calmer and more mature than his indoor pre-season performances had been, which bodes well for the future.

Ewen returned toward the end to help Ford mop up the tail, and Deando were all out for 100 off 40 overs.

All in all, a good performance and a good way to start the year. The habit of winning is something the side needs to continue next week, when Godalming will prove to be a tougher test.

Individually, the returning Raza and Hooper will need to adjust to English slow green tops if their performances are to match their talent - but that will come. Ewen and Ford again bowled their usual tight stuff, and found reward picking up wickets each.

Cole and Sayce provided a solid platform from which the team could build a good total.

Walsh on debut showed himself to be light on his feet and also that he has a good cricket brain, contributing to a match winning partnership.

MOM was O'Mahoney. The outstanding batsman on the day, shown by both ability and runs. He also kept superbly, taking catches, keeping up the chat, and conceeding no byes.

Everything bodes well

Subs are due

Ah yes it's that time of year, my little friends, when the club asks you to reach deep into your wallets and produce subs. These subs, gentlemen, pay in part for the upkeep of the club, the fixtures, the fittings and for the provision of strips to play on each week.

Your committee has generously frozen subs at last year's rates of £100 adults, £50 unwaged and students. These are due before the end of May. After May the amount goes up by £10. After that we'll send Keith round to your house to scare your Mum. The technical term used by the taxman is distrait. This is where goods and chattels to the value of the amount owed are seized. For some members this will be their Superman duvet cover, an old collection of Shoot magazines circa 1993 and something they made in woodwork. Seize them Keith will. Think of your poor Mum's ticker...

If you are suddenly panicking and thinking ohmigosh I forget to order a new chequebook, fear not as there is now a card machine in the club. Use it... or risk the wrath of... The Chairman.

Getting Wick with... AJ

1 Nickname(s): aj, junior, spike, bas
2 Highest Score for HWRCC: 118 v Crowhurst, July Tour 2003
3 Best Bowling for HWRCC: 4/50 v Wadhurst, July Tour 2003 (absolutely bossed that tour. lost it soon after)
4 Favourite Away Ground: NPL, flat batting track, good oppo, short drive, top clubhouse and banter always good.
5 Favourite Food: Chicken Teriyaki
6 Favourite Singer/Band: Rolling Stones/U2
7 Favourite Movie: Road to Perdition/Anchorman
8 Favourite Book: All the President's Men
9 Favourite Pub: Teddington Arms. Sorry fellas, blasphemy I know.
10.Favourite Club: The End, West Central St
11.Favourite Crisps: Roysters - T Bone Steak Flavour
12.Favourite DBW Sandwich: ham on a roll, odd concept that has worked for years. There's life in the old dog yet.
13.Favourite Quote: "That track was more up and down than a cheerleader's head on prom night" - Del Boy, circa 2005. Stoke D'Abernon? [Wickman begs to differ. Surely "sniff that"?] 13 Childhood Sports Hero: Gary Lineker, without a doubt.
14 Best Wick Moment: 54 v Merrow 2006.
15 Worst Wick Moment: Being called up to play for the 2s when I was 15 (on the back of 50 odd the week before in the 3s). The game was away at Wembley, I batted at 9, grabbed a second baller, and we got stuffed by 8 wickets. Got dumped that night too. I haven't forgot that Sisso... [Wickman didn't know you and Sisso were lovers - good of you to out yourself in a blog questionnaire. Must have taken a lot of guts]
16 Invite 3 People to Dinner (Dead or Alive): Keith Miller, Jimi Hendrix and Keith Richards

If Wickman was Delia...

...he'd be a couple of first half glasses of Pinot Grigio to the worse and howling like a banshee down the mic "let's be 'avin ya". We're a couple short for Saturday. It's pre-season and the usual April grumbles about not wanting to play for this or that reason are surfacing. Even if its a friendly weekend we do still need to marshall the troops and fulfill our commitments so dust off the wife, caress your whites fondly as you leave the door and head down to the Wick to play. Call Matty D or your nearest committee member for details.

Remember there are only two warm up games before the league starts for all three teams...

What's a sixer?

Not that Wickman needs a lie down or anything after a weekend of 2020 action but he’s on a roll here. What is the Indian crowd on about chanting that it wants a “sixer”? “We want a sixer, we want a sixer”. Ever since the seminal (fnarr) book “Scouting for Boys” by Baden-Powell there has no doubt been a demand in certain quarters for fresh faced young gentlemen in shorts who know what to do with a woggle. But whole crowds asking for the Lead Cub in a cub pack… surely independence was supposed to change all that?

McCullum's Orange Hat

And another thing. What’s the orange hat that McCullum’s wearing all about? Well Wickman knows it’s for the chap that is currently the leading run scorer in the tournament. But why? What’s the point of him wearing it? So you can spot him when he’s fielding is the obvious answer you’ll be telling Wickman. It sort of doesn’t mean anything. Yes Wickman knows that in cycling the fella that’s leading the race wears the maillot jaune and the king of the sprints gets green or whatever and the mountain king gets white with red spots. But there’s a reason. Hundreds of cyclists bunch together for 250kms of French countryside. The spectators in that sport need to know where the overall race leader is. It makes it easier. What plonker can’t spot McCullum with McCullum written on his back on the telly? And for the crowd? Do 70,000 people want to see McCullum under the ball and scream “you can bat, but you can’t field”? What happens when it changes from McCullum to Mr Cricket or someone else? Do they publicise the fact? Otherwise you might be thinking “Hello McCullum has changed sides – he’s not playing for Kolkata tonight”. It just doesn’t help. Wickman supposes you could be close enough in the crowd to see the hat and read the player’s name on the back of the shirt and say “okay that’s x and he’s the leading run scorer in the tournament”. Wickman wonders what happens if someone overtakes McCullum in the middle of a game they are both playing in. At the apposite moment does McCullum say “fair goes mate, here’s the cap”? It would be sweaty… Here's someone wearing an orange hat totally unlike the orange hat that McCullum was wearing. This is because when you type McCullum's orange hat into Google an alarm goes off and IT come round to take away your computer as they think it's something "wrong". They should see Wickman's temp files...

Sixes

Has anyone worked out what the DLF sixes tournament is about yet? Wickman began by thinking it was a league. Didn’t Fudgey have a Wick sixes league last year? Then rather than simply numbers (you’d have to be backing McCullum after day one) he then got confused by Ravi Shastri or some other hysterical commentating loon banging on about distance. And then yet some other loon seemed to think that there would be some sort of judging thing going on for the best six. Now that would be a strange one. How do you win? Height and length? Length? Sheer brutality? The perfect slog sweep? Footwork? Bat weight divided by distance? What if you larruped it off Brett Lee bowling at 99mph? Surely that’s got to be better than nailing a Danny Vetori short one out of the ground? DLF is an Indian building firm by the way. So if you have Indian construction needs...

This IPL lark

So finally it all began at the weekend. The IPL. The future of the game. Although actually, it turned out not to be. It turned out to be a 2020 tournament in India with some of the world’s best players involved. Forgive Wickman for a moment but didn’t we have a 2020 tournament not so long ago in South Africa with… all of the world’s best players in it? Wickman supposes that by having this tournament in India it means we get to see more Indian players. They do have some fantastic youngsters to watch. That Ishant Sharma. He’s a find. No, hang on, we’ve just seen him do over the Australians downunder in a Test series and stick it up the Jaapies too. Hmmm. That Yuvraj Singh then. He’s a clean striker of the ball… What’s that you say? He hit six sixes in the world cup?

It also means we get to see more Australian players than we are used to seeing. Wickman hasn’t seen much of David Hussey… outside of the English county season. James Hopes… he can hit it. Erm… Cameron White… plays in England. What IS this tournament about? This is Doug Bollinger. He must be the only cricketer in Australia not playing in the tournament.

Slogging with the Swiss

When I checked my cricket kit in for my flight at Luton Airport back in December, the Easyjet drone on the desk suddenly woke up and felt compelled to double check that I was sure I wanted to go to Basel, Switzerland.

It's not exactly the first, second or even 100th place many would think of if asked by Les Dennis 'to name a country you would associate with cricket'. But unlike most other decisions in my life, my move to Switzerland was not one based on cricket.

To my pleasant surprise there is a lot more happening here than you would first think. There are 19 teams which compete in a league and cup. There are now 35 ECB Level One coaches and 12 Level 2 coaches.

There is a growing junior setup, and the U11's and U13 Swiss National teams have just won a European Tournament in Munich. Big deal I hear you mutter... Mickey Mouse are the words probably passing through the brain of Matty D. When you compare it to English cricket and it's heritage yes it is, but until 3 years ago there was little or no junior cricketers here and no qualified coaches, so the strides that have been made in such a short space of time is nothing but commendable.

And so yesterday I played my first game. An inter-club game of which for which 30 people turned up. English, Aussie, New Zealand, Indian, Pakistani, West Indian, South African and even a genuine Swiss player all came together for a 25 over game, followed by a junior game, and a curry afterwards on a beautiful sunny day on the outskirts of Basel, near the French border.

The ground, not surprisingly, lacks the cricketing feel and class of The Wick. There is no sense of heritage, no history oozing pores or for that matter a club house. Instead there is a shipping container which houses the club kit, the barbecue, scoreboard and seating.

And what of the pitch? Again it couldn't really be more different. The ground is essentially a football field, with a concrete path running through the middle of it. On this road is laid a mat for the pitch and the run-ups. When I say it is quick, that does not do it justice. Balls fizz past your nose as though you're in a virtual reality game and stormtroopers are unleashing a barrage of lazer fire at you. If Joey were to bowl on it, they would have to demolish the surrounding golf club and build a hospital instead. Unfortunately for me though, my third ball did very much the opposite to everyone else's. It bounced 3cm off the floor, having pitched half way down the pitch and struck me on the ankle bone. I'm not sure if I was actually given out LBW or if I walked, especially as the fielding appeal consisted of not so much a "Howzat", but "SHIT! It's never done that before"!

My keeping experience was slightly less eventful but it was certainly an early season workout of an intensity I wasn't expecting. Especially when, stood-up to one of the opening bowlers, he decided to bowl a vicious bouncer, which seemed to collect snot from the batsman's nose and smash into my gloves milliseconds before it would have smashed into my cranium square between the eyes. The bowler apologised after, commenting that he didn't realise I was standing up.

As it's a football field the grass in the outfield is long, especially as we've had enough rain in the last two weeks to drown a whale. Some players approach this hurdle with a more agricultural game plan from the Adam Crane and Charlie High school of batting, but it was also a very pleasant surprise to see some genuine stroke-makers and some very good cricketers. One young English lad was very much in the Boney mould, and given opportunities could be a very good batsman. There is a South African who has played provincial cricket back home and the skipper and all-round godfather of Basel cricket played for the Indian Army in the Ranjiv Trophy, and despite his advancing years is without doubt still a very good player.

The game was a relatively low scoring affair and in the end the side I was playing for came out victorious, but it has indeed whet my appetite for more, and gone some way to making up for the disappointment I felt when it became clear that I wouldn't be able to play for the Wick for the foreseeable future.

Saturday

Those of us hoping for a gradual introduction to the cricket season were left reeling in the bath on Saturday afternoon. A brutal warm up and physical examination lead by Joey and Matt exposed the long winter of indolence perpetrated by your sorry correspondent. 120 minutes of torturous fielding practice, painful stretching and pay back sets of press-ups for the merest of Sunday fumbles necessitated 90 minutes in a warm bath and an hour’s kip in front of one of the many 20-20 games served up over the weekend. Wickman was recovered enough to undo some of the good work with a few pints of Hog’s Back Spring Ale and a slap up supper at the Teddington Arms later on that evening, but a certain weariness of limb left him strangely prostrate on Sunday morning. It was easier to claim a hangover and linger groaning half an hour longer than admit the onset of age and unfitness…#

ps the oppo cried off on Saturday. Something about them being too wet to play Wickman thinks. Three teams out this Saturday chaps...

IPL - cor

So the most eagerly anticipated cricket event since the last day of the Oval in 2005 (slightly biased but hey, who cares) starts today. The cashathon (sorry slogathon) ((sorry future of the game)) that is the IPL kicks off with the usual razzmattazz. Wickman is going to sound like an egg and bacon type here, but why oh why will we need to see some eejits on slits prance about the outfield before the game starts?

Cricket does this stuff so badly. In fact it's almost laughable when cricket has an opening ceremony. There just isn't the money and the necessary vim, vigour and pride. A footer world cup or the Olympics demands months of rehearsals. Half time at the Fruitbowl or whatever its called has even had one of the globe's headline acts flashing her booby bits on live TV. Cricket has blokes on stilts.

The cricket promises to throw up some fantastic statistics. With Mahendra Singh Dhoni on $1.5million we could end the tourney with him earning $100,000 a run or something. And get the sledging opportunities. So, Ricky, how much did you cost bwahahahahahaha. And Shane Warne won't even earn enough to pay his phone bill. It's going to be legendary.

Or is it? Anyone remember the post Ashes World xi game between Flintoff et al and the Aussies? No, neither does Wickman because there was absolutely nothing for the scratch team to play for. They were played off the park, out of whatever state it was played in and right back out of the country because the World xi couldn't motivate themselves beyond checking their online balances at the end of play.

How will coaches motivate teams? Who will carry Ganguly's bags to the bus? Will our old friend John Buchanan be distributing copies of Colin Powell's autobiography or something? Will Dimi Mascarenhas be sending out for a Sunday Roast takeaway after four weeks on the Rubies? Wickman can't wait to find out. A lucky switch away from Sky to Setanta means he might even get to watch a bit. Yayyyyyy Bangolore Bulls or whatever...

When sledging is good for the game

At the end of the Masters Wickman was left feeling slightly deflated. Let's face it no one came up with a credible challenge to Immelman and the only people who were happy would have been his immediate family and anyone who had backed him to hold on at 30-1 at the end of the first day. Wickman is a cautious animal, rarely betting on anything other than cricket. So he wasn't on Immelman at all. Not even one one farthing.

So Wickman was busy uploading stuff to the blog and didn't look at what came on next. Which was a series called Last Man Standing. Now Wickman is no great connoisseur of Wrasslin' or World's Strongest Man so the format - a bunch of oddball blokes from around the world battle it out in various bizarre sports to see who is the Last Man Standing of the title... seemed a bit of that sort of ilk.

So Wickman only started to pay attention when he realised it was an obscure version of cricket to be played between two villages in the South Pacific which the international knobs would be included in. Then Wickman realised that the game was genius. Remember the dicussion earlier this year about sledging being banned by the ICC? Well dear oh dear the match referee in this form of the game would be somewhat busy. Every time someone is caught the entire opposition team gets going on an organised taunting that bears some primal link back to the Haka. So if you've just top edged a pull into the sky and someone plucks it (actually the standard of catching is a bit village - not surprising given that they come from villages Wickman supposes) you then have to endure a couple of minutes of organised in your face tongue poking, jumping about and general jostling. Imagine Harbhajan and Symmo in the middle of that little lot.

Imagine Steve "I always look slightly bemused" Bucknor in the middle of that lot, starched white shirt neatly tucked into his belt while 50 or so (there doesn't seem to be the modern limit on participation) semi naked warriors giving it the Barry. Imagine whatshisface with the bent fingers getting involved and going native and you've got it. I wouldn't fancy Mike Proctor's chances in the aftermath. Handing down fines is going to involve removing a goat or something and if he's going to give someone a three match ban - as they only play once a year - someone wouldn't get a game again until 2012.

Back on the pitch a cultured knob from somewhere in the South of England wafted a couple of smashing sixes over square leg using something that looked like a brightly decorated oar before being commically run out (they operate a running system rather like having a school fag do your running for you). As is often the case a big bloke (who the day before had almost sliced half his toes off with an axe) clagged a series of big sixes in a last wicket stand to win the game. Worth a watch. But fast forward all the non cricket bits. By the way the standard of keeping is phenomenal. If we could fly one of them over...

Saturday Team News and Practice

Wickman is told that the selection committee has met to decide who will play at Long Ditton on Saturday. Please note that the team is asked to MEET AT THE GROUNDat Long Ditton, NOT at the Wick Club House.

Matt Davies
Nathan Singh
Will Walsh
James Cameron
Derrick Soppitt
Zammak Tughral
Dominic Lown
David Ford
Tom Robinson
Adam O'Mahoney
Adam Crane

For remaining club members there will be a net and fielding practice session at the Wick... 1.30 for 2.00pm start. As we are trying to get three teams out next week it would be useful to attend as you won't want to look like a donkey come the first game of the season now will you?

First poll over... not a shock result

As expected Keith Wickles Nicholls beat "the Wick from a candle" to the "Royal Cricket" official "Who is the most Wick" title for 2007-8. Wickman says "as expected" but the Wick from a candle really is quite Wick. Well... it's a wick. So to beat it, you have to be very Wick.

Thank you to the Eskimos... and Hibby

Word reaches Wickman that Saturday's gig at the Wick was absolutely fantastic and probably one of the great nights at the Wick in living memory.

Our thanks should go the band and to Hibby - who generously gave their time in the cause of club funds. More than 80 people paid to see the band and then drank themselves sober into the early hours. It's a much needed boost to club funds.

To those of you that missed the event, the Wick is the cricket club where you play your cricket. It's off Sandy Lane, Hampton Wick. Hampton Wick is a small village just the other side of the river from Kingston.

Just to remind you this Saturday (the day after Friday) there will be a game at one of the Dittons and practice down at the club. There will be an email going out this week.

This attractive young Eskimo beauty did not play at the Wick this weekend but has threatened to love any Wick players with subs still outstanding on June 1 "long time". Rumour has it that the two members who didn't pay their debts by the end of last season can expect a very special visit soonest...

Lookalikes again - who is this?

Two different cartoon characters who look strangely similar to one Wick member...

Nets - Lively

Wickman attended nets at the Oval yesterday with Matti, Cranesy, Lloydy, Jimmy C, Clarky and new boy Matt. Matt O for those of you who might find it hard to cope with another Matt. Wickman is a fan of netting. This winter he has been working on the usual technical adjustments - grip, backlift, trigger movement, switching on and off between deliveries etc (you bowlers won't know what we are talking about here so don't worry).

After a few gentle sessions recently Wickman was most discouraged by a genuine going over and roughing up from this new guy Matt. Netting at the Oval obviously requires lugging kit in to work in the morning. The decision to "leave the helmet behind because Joey's not coming to the net" was a massive miscalculation. One Matt bouncer was past Wickman's cheekbone before he had had time to react. A couple of perfectly pitched and rather rapid outswingers were not played with much elan. One found the edge. Wickman could only hope that it could have been grassed in the real world. Helmetless and low on confidence Wickman then lost all grasp of technique, stopped getting in line and largely just began trying to slog his way out of trouble. Not good. The picture was taken shortly afterwards as Wickman considered ending it all at the nearby Southbank Centre.

So now its back to the living room mirror. There his backlift is metronymic. His elegant back foot plant with weight evenly distributed on the balls of both feet would outdoo Ramps and Goughie in a dance off. The imaginary ball is laced with precision through the tiniest of gaps in a cover region patrolled by fleet of foot Aussies. Ah yes. It's all coming back now...

Getting wick with... Sisso

1 Nickname(s): Sisso/Gambler
2 Highest Score for HWRCC: 125ish v Eastcote
3 Best Bowling for HWRCC: 5 for something or other v Jack Frost 11 (Was mid 1980s so don't remember exact details!) Brad MacNamara got a ton before lunch and I struck after a few vinos!
4 Favourite Away Ground: Honor Oak CC (Got first Wick ton there)
5 Favourite Food: Ruby Murry of course
6 Favourite Singer/Band: David Bowie/Silence
7 Favourite Movie: Godfather
8 Favourite Book: Timeform
9 Favourite Pub/Club: Kingston Tup!/Mavericks
10 Favourite Crisps: Plain…
11 Favourite DBW Sandwich: Tuna… Luvley!
12 Favourite Oppo Tribute: Andy Dindas (captain of Reading CC) when we beat them in first league game of season in League 1 by 150 runs (HWRCC 20 points Reading CC 3 points) "I hope you boys have a good season and don't get relegated!!!!!!!!"
13 Favourite Quote: "winners smile and losers tell stories" Mike McMahon
14 Childhood Sports Hero: Beefy Botham…
15 Best Wick Moment: Beating Gatting's team to get promotion to Middlesex league 2 (With Mike Gatting playing)... despite scoring ZERO…
16 Worst Wick Moment: Haven't had any as the amber anasthetic wipes them all away after the match... After a few beers and a curry even a duck can feel like a ton!
17 Invite 3 People to Dinner (Dead or Alive) Keith Miller, Nicole Kidman and Kate Moss

First Match, Nets, Practice roll up roll up etc

Chaps

Sunshine and cruel Artic winds allowing we're due our first game and formal outside practice session on Sat 19th April.

New skipper of the thirds James Lloydy Lloyd (who makes up these nicknames?) will run net and fielding practice from 12.30.

Those not picked for the mixed ability Wick team to play Thames Ditton are invited to attend. Those of you with stout livers and strong constitutions will then enjoy a lively trip to watch the boys play. Last year Paul Hibby Hibberd (who makes up these nicknames) was in fine form and smashed a ton.

Nets will then run every Tues & Thurs at 18:00 from 22nd April. There are one or two Wednesday Oval nets remaining for those of you who fancy a more controlled environment in which to limber up for the season...

Duck tax applies from Friday 18 April by the way in all games including Sundays... £5 seniors, £2.50 concs (Colts exempted).

HIbby and the Eskimos + special guest DJ Fudge

Without wishing to go on about it Saturday could be a legendary evening at the club. Wickman says could be because it will only actually be a legendary evening if people turn up and bring guests. If you do turn up and bring guests the place will be heaving. If you don't, it might be sort of like when Hibby and the Eskimos rehearse down there. The band. On stage. With no one watching. Which would be dull.

Imagine the place with three eager bar staff, Fudgey's Mrs on the door, specially mixed vats of cocktails for the laydeees, a fully stocked bar, Fudgey doin a bit on the decks.

That sort of infectious atmosphere could get a leper laid.

See you there?

Cricket Force Weekend

Before the snow came on Sunday for brief moments on Saturday you might have believed it was spring. The sun shone. People daubed creosote on things. Chairman Wickles and Fixtures Secretary Lown rolled the outfield (remember the outfield last year? This year it's already like a snooker table in comparison), changing room floors were painted by Nate Dawg. Joe Hirsch and Tommy R (nice to see the new boys making an effort) showed up and lent a brush to the place under the expert eye of Matti D. Hibby, Powelly and Fudgey de-shited the shed. Alison turned up to breathe fire for 10 minutes offended by the concreting work undertaken by our good friends from the park.

Inside in the warmth DBW was busy pulling a varnishing act on the chairs and cursing and moaning about last year's Natwest inspired efforts. Tony C and Coley prepared the kit for colts registration (Coley has generously donated last year's kit to the club which is, frankly, Very Wick). Kirky did a bit too. Linter turned up and organised the sweepstake - which - while it might not have necessitated getting dirty, certainly seemed beyond the combined brainpower of the rest of those assembled. In the end Powelly seemed to have the correct horse for the course.

This time last year the sun was blazing, the ground was harder than a group of skinheads inhaling glue and we had four glorious weekends of sunshine to play cricket and fix the place up. Something tells Wickman, as he observed the Wick under two inches of snow and local ruddy faced youths rolling snowmen on the outfield that our friendly calendar may not quite proceed with the same brio. Someone said Crossbats had their first game on Saturday. Would be good to see a match report and to check that all their extremities haven't fallen victim to frostbite.

For those of you that weren't able to make it on Saturday the club is still where we left it last year you will be relieved to know...

Natwest Cricket Force - This Sat and Sun

Guys there is loads to do on Saturday and Sunday. We're open for business from 10am both days. If you don't want to come to work come to watch DBW working. Do not wear your good clothes... There will be a Grand National sweepstake for those of the betting persuasion

12 April - You know it makes sense...