Old Mother Hubbard - or - When You Need a Good Wingman

Recently Wickman decided that it was time the Wick started to look like a cricket club again. GAAR mentioned it in an earlier post. He called for paraphernalia. This evening Wickman and Matty D decided to delve into the club's unofficial archive - the Old Mother Hubbard behind the scorebox - to find out what might be used to brighten up the facilities.

Wickman reckons that there are times in your life when you need a good wingman. Cricket tours. Stag nights. Please supply other answers on a postcard. But Wickman is not talking about Matty D (although he thinks Matty - like all Wick members - would make an excellent wingman). Frank Henry Bean needed a good wingman sometime after February 1992.

Frank was an umpire. A bit of a character by all accounts. His mates held a wake for him down the Wick. Some of Frank's ashes (he was cremated 11 Feb 1992) were scattered on the square. If all his mates were umpires too, you would have thought they'd have put him down round about square leg, or perhaps just behind the stump holes at the Millennium Wood end so that he'd spend eternity gazing out towards Kingsfield.

It was probably a cracking afternoon. Perhaps it went on until the evening. Whatever time it all wound up, Frank's wingman let him down. Because the rest of Frank is in the scorebox cupboard.

Wickman supposes there are three choices. 1 - Leave the old boy where he is. He hasn't minded much for the best part of 15 years. 2 - Buy him a decent urn and get him back into the bar where he can be properly remembered every Saturday evening 3 - Finish the job and blend him with square leg for eternity with all due ceremony.

Definition number 2 here is about as apt as you can get...

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) par·a·pher·na·lia 1. (sometimes used with a singular verb) equipment, apparatus, or furnishing used in or necessary for a particular activity: a skier's paraphernalia. 2. (used with a plural verb) personal belongings. 3.(used with a singular verb) Law. the personal articles, apart from dower, reserved by law to a married woman.