Two things are certain in life – Death and Taxes. However three things are certain in Wick – rain, selection issues and rain. Make that four things – it will also rain at some point during the season.
My memory has served me well these past few years. I’ve always managed to remember the month of the Mrs’ birthday (May), even if the exact date changes. Its not often I forget my phone, although when it does happen I get all giddy inside as when I get home I get to see who sent me texts during the day. I can also remember most times Saturdays were wiped out due to rain. Despite global warming, its definitely been a while since an abandoned game. Sanderstead earlier this year came close, although in the end we could have somehow won that one. Byfleet unfortunately was a different story as halfway through the game the world seemingly ended when a body of water roughly equivalent to the Caspian Sea fell in 20 short minutes. Lifejackets were called, but in the end the flood defences stood firm and we were saved.
I shouldn’t make light of flooding given current world news, but I will nevertheless.
KavarornHEYRaza won the toss and proudly announced we would bowl. Joy unconfined as you can imagine. At one point Linter needed a paper bag to regulate his oxygen intake he was so excited.
Tong and Ali opened up with varying degrees of success. Full tosses aren’t the ideal delivery on a green top, unless of course your name is Batty McRunhungry. McRunhungry took advantage of a few of these. In fact, he scored 39 runs in all, although there were some good shots in there too. It was a decent enough track, although if it misbehaved it mid so with such alarm even Linter was heard to call for the ol’ Piano sledge (see if he can play that). Ali was his usual mix of outrageous/unplayable and frustratingly wayward. At this point the small ground/quick outfield combo was proving an exciting prospect and wickets and runs both flowed. Tong was the better of the openers, more consistent and threatening. An lbw, and bowled (played on to a leaper) and a first catch for Murray on debut (Pineapple Dance Studios haircut et al) behind the Barrys. Linter also held an excellent steepler when McRunhungry skied one straight up. Well held – balls of steel (or white chocolate depending how you view these things).
Enter the Rash. His extra height and loopier action immediately caused issues with Byfleets troops. Immo is my nemesis in the nets, cheeky little snicks off the shoulder of the bat etc. He dobblies were nibbling like a rabid hamster and his effort was rewarded with a stone lbw to the dangerous #5 Buzaglo (Google: Woking, FA Cup, Buzaglo).
Raza joined in the fun (or ordeal) and pounded away (ahem) for a good 10 overs seeking edges. He found some, as well as a bit of timber. Davies took a very good catch (not excellent, but very good), diving forward a deep point/gully to remove the increasingly dangerous #7, before proceedings were rounded off with Byfleet all out for 155 off 43 overs. Tong returned to claim a cheeky michelle at the end, although in honesty we should have cleaned them up for no more than 120. The pitch was a Fordy Mate special.
Teas – decent. Fresh. Simple, but effective. Attractive tea girl (FIFY). Test match banter. Byfleet a good bunch of lads. 6/10.
Ali and Davies were padded up. Davies early, Ali late. ATS. We got to the middle in rain. Had you started you could have continued in this, but it was a bit keen to play in what was not cricket conditions.
Davies: ‘If we’d started, Id be OK to continue in these conditions, but you can’t start in this’Umpire (Home): Hmmmm......hands stretched out. Lets go off.
Home team: WHAT? WHAT FOR? FOPR F*CKS SAKE. ITS BARELY RAINING! 5 seconds later the walk off becomes a run off as Armageddon strikes. Home team: That’s why you’re umpire. Good call. Beer? Game abandoned 30 minutes later when it became obvious that the 8 inches puddles won’t drain by 1830. And if they did, the game would be Micky mouse anyway. Wick have had 2 games abandoned this year – No-one else has had any (apart from GC and Byfleet whom we were playing against). I cant remember the last time that happened.
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