Oval Test Result to be Changed

Wickman, alive as ever to the back pages, sees that THAT Oval Test result is to be changed to a draw. A draw. Hmmmm. Funny kind of draw. And interesting for the future of the game. Imaine us 1-0 up against the Aussies going into a future Oval test - perhaps next year (yes, yes, the chances of us being 1-0 up do demand a certain skill of imagination beyond the normal day dreaming capability of most of us). Suddenly Vaughany takes umbrage at a decision and takes the England boys off on the 4th day afternoon. No resolution is reached over night. They stick to their guns on the Monday and by 6.00pm we're confirmed as Ashes winners. Genius.

Rather like Golby's infamous "Retired Hung Over" at the birthplace of cricket, Wickman reckons that in instances like these we should be more descriptive. Try "drawn after fit of pique" or "Retired National Character Hurt" or "Umpire Obstructs Match". Your suggestions please... oh did they get around to talking about Zimbabwe yet or is this a red herring...?