TEDDINGTON VS HWRCC

Unbeaten run ended by Teddington

Sunday XII fall just short after batting collapse

Teddington – 155 all out Tong (6 for 17 off 8 overs) Powelly (1 for 38 off 8 overs) Murray (2 for a few) Matty D – direct hit run-out

Defeated

Wick – 138 all out Matty D – 54 runs Tong – 29 runs

It’s just gone 7.16 pm on Monday evening. Ordinarily, I’d be at home by now doin’ a bit, but unfortunately I’m still in the office. Work is going to be a bit lively this week, so best to get all of the frippery out the way early and start looking forward to this weekend I reckon. As a side note, I have a splitting headache (get out the violins…..) and am about ready to put a fist through my computer screen. It’s been one of those days…..

….and weekends too. Normally in these match reports I’d fine some obscure and tenuous connection to the game of cricket and, not so subtly, try to link it to the game that has just passed (rest assured…..there’s plenty left in the locker. Wait till you hear my views on how the current housing crisis has been caused Paul Collingwood’s inability to get bat on ball, or how the rise in oil prices can be directly linked to Charlie High’s 120 on the weekend. Revolutionary stuff).

Not so on this occasion. I toyed briefly with the idea of comparing Dorothy’s walk along the yellow brick road in the Wizard of Oz to the walk that Whinney, myself, Junaid and Andrew Murray took from Wick HQ to Teddington’s ground through Bushey Park on Sunday, but I don’t know who would be the scarecrow or whether Whinney would cut it as the tin man. No instead, this is a plain and simple match report. End of. Sorry AJ.

The Wick arrived at Teddington (the Emerald City, orr?) at 1pm to get acclimatised ahead of the big match, undoubtedly our biggest test of the season so far. And what an amazing place (although nothing compared to the Wick). The outfield was everything Matty D described….and more. Not only was the grass cut short like the fringe of a green at a golf course (a good one that is), but it was cut in diagonal lines like Lords or the MCG. The pitch was so bright and white that you almost had to put your sunnies on to even look at it. If there was a track you ever dreamed of playing on, this was undoubtedly it.

After four straight wins and an undefeated record, we were confident of continuing our great start to the season against a Teddington side that were bound to be strong. Losing the toss, the Wick headed out to bowl on one of the hottest days of the year so far, and believed pressure on the batsmen early would bring a wicket or two. It didn’t happen as we planned. Dropping three catches off the bowling of big bustling Shauny Whinney in quick succession, we were quickly on the back foot. After 10 overs, Teddington had reached 70-odd for no loss, and a score of 250+ looked like being on the cards.

Enter Graham Tong.

This kid can play – FACT. When people asked Skipper Jimmy C during the week what kind of team would be put out on Sunday, just the mention of the name Tonga was enough to get them excited and ask for a place. That the Wick could have fielded 20 players is testament to the respect that Tonga (or Baywatch, GT) gets when he dons the whites for the Wick.

In one of the best spells of bowling this writer has ever seen (excluding Curtly Ambrose’s 7/1 at the WACA in ’93), Tonga made a bloody good Teddington side look decidedly average. Taking 6 wickets for just 17 runs off 8 overs (LBWs, catches (including a one-hander from Whinney), bowled….the works), Graham well and truly had Teddington under the kosh. That 250+ score they had envisioned now seemed completely out of reach.

In between those 6 wickets, it was fair to say that the game became a bit lively, and it was of no surprise to see Wick Skipper Jimmy at the forefront of the action (the bloke needs to calm down I reckon – perhaps take a shot of penicillin?). As Powelly came in for his fifth of a magnificent spell of 8 overs, the ball pitched invitingly on the off side and the batsmen (apparently known to the Wick boys) decided to have a swing. He middled it to extra cover. So quick was the ball moving that Jimmy C didn’t even have time to move from his position and had to stick out a left hand. The ball stuck like glue – FACT. It was probably the happiest Jimmy has ever been to have had something less than 200 pounds safe n his hands

Sadly for our Skipper he could not carry this genius out onto the wicket when having a trundle. Being hit for boundary after boundary, Jimmy C finally lost it in an outrageous show of emotion (which apparently is not allowed in England. It’s no wonder you guys bow down to a monarchy…..seriously). Letting go of one of the loudest expletives you are likely to hear – the F word, of course – Jimmy had to be restrained by the umpire. And while we cannot but assume what was said between said skipper and umpire, we do know this: It was his last over for the match.

Despite the histrionics, and following a few wickets from Andrew Murray, the Wick had managed to bowl Teddington out for just 155. Led by the mercurial Graham Tong, it was a terrific effort that gave the boys a great chance of winning the match.

Tea – not enough food to be honest. Needed a bit of the handlebar magic to inject a bit of passion into it. Tomato sandwiches? Please…..5/10.

Led by the incomparable Matty D and Big Bobby Sisso (who, despite the heat, was still wearing a jumper. Let me tell you, if they ever think of landing people on the sun for some research, I reckon Sisso could just about survive it – FACT), the Wick set about chasing down Teddington’s total. Sisso, playing some fantastic shots past the keeper, looked comfortable and quickly built up some runs. Matty D, whom Sisso would describe as a “more conventional” batsmen I suppose, played his shots forward of the crease, and the Wick had soon reached 30 without loss.

Sisso’s run finally came to an end after one too many hits and misses, and had his pegs sent flying. Maddoc Jones then came to the crease to try and restore some sanity. He didn’t. He went for a golden duck instead. At two down for 60 runs off 20 overs, it was starting to look a bit lively. However, thanks to the genius of both Matty D and Tonga (MOM orrr……), the Wick had reached 80-odd for two and were looking comfortable. So comfortable was Matty D that he hit possibly one of the biggest sixes I’ve ever seen. That Teddington managed to find the ball in the long grass afterwards was a miracle.

But then something happened. Perhaps it was Junaid’s idiotic comment to skipper Jimmy C that the match was “sewn up” that jinxed it for us. Perhaps it was bad batting – more likely I guess. Either way, the Wick suffered what is commonly known as a brain explosion. Losing the remaining 8 wickets for just 45 runs (shut up!!), we succumbed to 138 all out (roughly). It was a mind numbing experience. Something that I won’t talk about any further.

Despite such a terrific bowling performance and a decent start with the bat, the Wick had lost the match. Gutting. Perhaps it was the wake up call the boys needed after a few streaky wins (not!!!). Perhaps it was Dorothy’s way of telling the Wick – “we’re not in Kansas anymore toto” (see the connection? Genius)

Whatever it was, the game was over, and the boys now need to regroup for this Sunday. Another game on a beautiful ground awaits us. This time it is Sutton that will welcome the Wick. Hopefully, the boys can make it a 5-1 record after this weekend and put Sunday behind them. Anyone wanting to re-establish some much needed form with the bat and ball should contact Jimmy C for further details.

Wickman Junior.