"Ed in the field"
Coldplay at the Wick - Match Report by Smith G
Hampton Wick Sunday XI 132 all out Wimbledon Corinthians 133 for 6
Following the emphatic victory over Chiswick & Latymer on the previous weekend, the aged captain was feeling confident, almost smug, as he surveyed his team sheet. So confident in fact, that he began to wax lyrical to the oppo’s skipper about the strength and depth of his side. This led, as hoped, to the Wimbledon skipper generously allowing our batsmen to make first use of a reasonable early-season track.
As Nomaan and a chirpy Charlton prepared to stride out to the crease, two Wick players were lent to the oppo on a sale or return basis because some of their team were still hopping from one Bushy Park ground to the next on a quest to find their chums.
Captain Smith felt even more sure that an easy victory was on the cards after Nomaan’s flurry of fours in the first over. Charlton, still sporting a colourful bruise from his misguided attempt the previous Sunday to hook so early in the season, also looked at ease as he wafted the occasional wayward ball to the flags.
With 20 in the larder in quick sharp time, a big total seemed inevitable.
Then, to the relief of our substitute fielders, the missing Wimbledon players began to appear from various points of the park, seemingly no worse for their yomp. But it turned out that two of the explorers were the usual opening bowlers and thus the balance of power was about to change. From that moment on, Wimbledon bowled with vim and vigour and much discipline. Charlton soon succumbed to a snorter of a delivery thus allowing the effervescent Paul Myers from Loughbroughshire to make his home debut – question time for the young P.M.
Almost immediately P.M. fashioned a drive but checked the shot at the last moment resulting in the ball spooning gently to extra cover. The extra cover declined the chance, perhaps thinking (correctly as it turned out) that P.M. was bound to spoon the ball again in the near future. So, not the home debut that Paul had no doubt dreamt about. But he had showed huge promise in the One’s on the previous day and I am sure that glories lie ahead.This wicket brought Edmonds loping apprehensively to the middle as the temperature dropped; a cold chill enveloped at the ground and began to infiltrate the bones of the Wick batsmen.
Nomaan was sticking to his task until, on 39, he was caught bang to rights on his back foot and began to anticipate the ascent of Riley’s frozen finger. This took a remarkably long time to occur, because Riley either wants us to believe that he thinks deeply before committing or because he simply wanted to keep his hand warm for as long as possible – I suspect the latter.
At this point the author wishes to publicly apologise to our Lancastrian friend for conning him into umpiring this match with a false promise of warm sunshine and dainty smoked salmon sandwiches for tea (a promise that fell as short as Monty Panesaar’s unnecessary dive in the last Test Match). The Wimbledon bowlers continued to impress and had the remaining Wickmen struggling to regain the upper hand. A double digit total began to seem an alarming possibility but some determined efforts from Madoc-Jones the Eldest, Nav Kamboh, Usman and Hussan helped to post a total of 132.
Tea was the usual bounty of baps supplemented by a selection of biscuits that must have spent the winter maturing in the kit cupboard next to Mo’s discarded jock strap.
After the break, Wick opened up with Smith and Goodwin – an aggregate of 93 years of experience between them. With the wind behind him, Father Ted Goodwin belied his years and gambolled jauntily to the crease. Having just told the skipper to pack the off side as he “never strays down leg”, the inevitable leg side offerings were gratefully accepted by the Corinthians opener. But Ted soon got his line back and began to ask questions of the batsmen (questions such as “why are you such a lucky F*****?).
At the other end Smith G forced himself into the chill wind, knowing that his already creased facial features would be further ravaged by the elements. Serving up his usual away swingers, he too began to ask questions (such as “what the hell I am doing out here when I could be at home with my pipe and slippers?”). A rare cricketing event took place in Smith’s 2nd over, after a cunning leg side ball was misread by Madoc-Jones the Eldest behind the timbers. M-J managed to deflect the ball on to his helmet that he had carefully placed behind him, resulting in Riley gleefully declaring “that’ll be 5 PENALTY RUNS that will”. More fun and games soon ensued when Smith forced the opener to chip to mid off where Charlton was grazing contentedly but Ed decided he would rather grass the ball than give Smith an early wicket. However the batsman, assuming he would be caught out, had already meandered down the wicket to bid his farewells. Seeing this, Charlton rose to his feet like a rhinoceros recovering from a particularly heavy anaesthetic and squirted the ball to our gloveman who completed the run out. First wicket down – but harsh on Smith.
The veteran opening bowlers continued to keep control for the first ten overs before Nomaan came on to shake up the oppo and momentarily tilt the balance back to the Wick by taking the next 4 wickets in an excellent spell of virtually unplayable seam bowling.
All the bowlers performed well, Hussan and Paul Myers probed and deserved more reward for their labour but the Corinthians batted sensibly and began to pick up the two runs an over that they needed. A few more dropped catches ensued – understandable in the cold gloom and a loss of two of our fielders for the last 10 overs did not help the cause. Special mention to young Will Taylor who bowled an accurate 7 overs of dipping off spin offering great promise for the coming season.
Great spirit in the team which augurs well for the coming league season. Getting excited now.
Smith G.
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