Friday 13 February 2009

Cracking new record set by WICB

The West Indies Cricket Board are probably a bunch of well motivated good guys who have the best intersts of the cricket world at heart. They've certainly lifted English spirits since about 2000 by reducing one of the best teams in the world to the status of cricket bums. They've also worked hard, at Sabina Park, a few years back, to create the shortest ever test.

On that occasion they managed to bowl 10 quite frightening overs of chin music at some seriously scared England batsmen. In his autobiography (Being a Grumpy Northern Bastard Trying Hard to Get a Career in Journalism) [Wickman thinks that was what it was called] Michael Atherton recalls seeing a ball whistle over his head from a full length and clear the stands [Wickman thinks that was what happened] and then hearing Lara at first slip saying "I liiiiike it Curtly, I really LIKE it". At least they got 10.3 overs in on that occasion.

Today they managed to bowl ten balls. Ten miserable balls. This will surely be the classiest moment ever in cricket. There was no threat to the batsmen. Actually there was going to be. With Fidel Edwards running in three times and not letting go, the danger was the batsmen swinging at thin air and ricking their necks. No this time it was the bowlers who were in danger of falling into the bunkers that the grounds staff had put on the outfield.

Wickman understands that the problem may lie in a shortage of qualified grounds people in the West Indies now. The only people available to do the ground were the Greens Keepers from the Antigua 9 hole pitch and putt at the Paris HiltonTravelodge who were drafted in last Thursday and told to make things a bit tricky for the Englishmen. On that basis they decided to grow the rough a bit longer just off the green bit and put in some new sand traps.

Wickman sends his sympathies to those supporters who have booked holidays, time off work and paid good money to be out there. A true cricket fan is not going to be consoled by 5 days on the beach.

[Wickman found this picture of the WICB's annual conference]

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