Thursday 5 July 2007

A Wick Wash Summer

Even by English standards this summer has been a bit of a wet one. Green tops a plenty means a summer of certainty on two fronts for seamers - Long sleeve sweaters and a hat full of wickets. That is assuming play is possible. April was a scorcher, whilst May, as you can see from the picture of Matty D above was a little moist. The general assumption was that the rest of the summer would be fine. Well we're into July and it shows no sign of abbating.

Like most cricket clubs The Wick is no stranger to ducks. In fact so common are they that we've had to start fining members who bring one home with them after a game - May I propose that Jimmy C also be fined for some of the things he's been bringing home. In all seriousness though the duck theme had reached a new level of ridiculousness when some of the committee arrived on Tuesday night to find some new residents swimming around on the outfield.

As we said before we are longing standing supporters of Ducks. In fact it has been proposed by some members that we should approach the RSPB for sponsorship next year - Ok so they are charity but we are doing stirling work in the duck department. Yes it is a ridiculous suggestion but so far this has been the most ridiculous summer on record. The ducks were later joined by a heron.

So who or what is to blame for this weather? Well a few of the boys have been donning their Deer-Stalkers and have come up with the answer. In fact now we think about it the answer has been staring (and grinning) at us all summer. In fact the answer is in a name. We'll give you a clue: Wading bird, five letters.... Heron? Stork? Egret? Stint? Snipe? No it is of course Crane! Adam Crane! But why and how? Well before we give you the answers, here he is pictured gloating at the success of his evil scheme. Being the hero of evil that he is, he's even managed to grow new arms to celebrate his success Churchill style.

So what possessed this unemployed evil genius to effect such a plan? Was it because he couldn't score any runs himself, and was so evil that he brought rains upon the rest of us? Was it because he wanted to spend more time in the bar on Leo Sayers? The latter seemed the most likely to 9 out of 10 cricketing housewives surveyed.

Well here at the Wick blog we have some breaking news. Adam Crane is no evil genius, but in fact a victim of his own attempts to help the club.

After a particularly hot and barren spell in April the Wick outfield was lumpier than school custard. As the story goes Adam stole out in the night to perform a rain dance ritual he learnt deep in the jungles of Notibrus. Naked and smeared in DBW's egg mayonnaise he danced through the night to bring life giving rain to the Wick outfield. He shook Coronas like maracas and had cocktail umbrellas in his hair.

Unfortunately Adam's rain inducing bum jiggle worked so well it was still raining when the boys arrived for the game against Frimley on Saturday. With the game abandoned there was nothing left to do but indulge in a game of boundary boules, followed by a day and night in the bar. Despite a fun time for all though, Adam will be appearing one night soon at the Wick doing his naked sun dance.... Bird watchers looking for ducks with binoculars...you have been warned!!

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