Ashford Blown Away by Rampant Wick 4xi

One Bit of Fruit and a Couple of Crudites Are Missed by Ravenous Colts...

HWRCC 278-3 (32) Clark 118
Ashford 75 all out Linter 4 for 13
HWRCC 4xi wins by 203 runs

Scorecard

HWRCC 4xi put Ashford's bowlers to the sword, gobbled up tea and then ran through their batting to record an emphatic win at Short Lane on Saturday. A strong line up which included The Lord, injured bats Nathan and Mackie, and a selection of colts and regulars was too good for an Ashford line-up who have struggled this season when full strength. That they started with 9 for the first 10 overs didn't help - and the Wick had got away to a flyer by the time the tenth player arrived.

Splints called correctly and chose to bat again this week with half an eye on the weather forecast and a desire to set the pace again. Some loose bowling greeted the openers and Clark was quick to profit, reaching the boundary regularly as the new ball rocketed across a mown outfield.

Whilst The Lord had pronounced the track a green top before the toss it didn't play like one. And neither Nate or Clarky looked in too much trouble - able to keep out the respectable seamers of Boota from the A30 end and pick gaps in the 9 man field. At the Heathrow end... Carnage. A series of bowlers were tried but variable lengths and lines were seized on by Clark in particular and caned all over the place. The Wick were happily blazing away at 9 an over.

The sense of slight unreality was built by the elderly Ashford keeper's almost complete immobility. He let through 27 byes and was unable to stop wides. Coupled with positive batting from the Wick openers, it was impossible for Ashford to gain any control. One change bowler went for 16 off his first over - Clark taking umbrage at being pinged on the back leg smashed four consecutive boundaries.

The opening pair raced to 100 with Clark ably backed up by E X Tras, Nate playing the anchor role. Almost every time Nate did pick up the strike a bowler would fire one wide or for a bye leaving him almost becalmed and watching Clark from the other end. Despite a reasonable spinner turning up to relieve Boota, the partnership reached 150. It was finally broken by Molla bowling Nathan for 38 with Clark by now in the 80s. Mackie joined him and there was no let up in the scoring rate, Mackie busily manoevering the ball around, Clark hitting regular boundaries before turning the spinner round the corner to move to his first league ton from 79 balls and first of any kind for the Wick.

Under instruction to allow others a go Clark then long handled a brace of sixes and a boundary before top edging a pull to mid wicket. Johnny Allen got in the mood and made a brisk 10 including a massive maximum before The Lord strode out and imperiously dismissed the bowling for a two-run-a-ball 32* making Mackie's busy run-a-ball 28* look positively pedestrian. The Lord smote the biggest six of the day too... Enormous wallop over Long Off... Still going up as it crossed the boundary etc etc.

With rain coming Splints pulled the plug with the Wick on an awesome 278-3 from 32. There was enough time to get the covers (covers please note) on before the rain came. While we were at tea it's no exaggeration to say that it absolutely pissed down - the rain bouncing up of the ground. Without them the match would surely have been over and done.

Tea was excellent - a very solid 8 - almost nothing to fault - but there was no dip for the crudités which was felt to be an error and we weren't sure about the cucumber and cheese sandwiches. Just about every last scrap was consumed as we realised there was no chance of play starting again soon with the colts in particular relishing the opportunity to clean up. Nice.

It took 45 minutes to mop up when the rain relented. We'd batted through a shower during our innings so the square had already taken a lot of water and it took time to mop up the water with one of those sponge things that soaks up puddles. Talk about facilities! Because Splints had declared before tea and we'd scored so quickly we still had 43 overs to bowl out Ashford.

The skipper impressed everyone by opening with the old ball and holding back the new cherry until the outfield had dried more. The approach yielded dividends as tight bowling from Jamie Brewin produced a skied drive and a fantastic over the shoulder catch from Bendall in the covers. Inspired captaincy from Linter then saw him take a sharp catch at silly mid on from the flighted spin of Will Taylor who at times spun the ball sharply.

The new ball was taken in the 13th over by Jamie Craddock and The Skipper. Linter was unplayable - frankly - and removed the organised looking #4 with a nick to 1st slip which was classily taken low down by Mackie. Craddock won a marginal LBW decision which we decided would have stayed with the onfield umpire had it been reviewed, but perhaps failed to make the bats play enough.

In contrast Splints was making bat after bat play and miss and completely nonplussed the #6 who was left marvelling as he was cleaned up. The #1, who had seen 5 colleagues depart in short order was finally castled and also appreciated being stitched up like a kipper by the skipper.

Tommy D and Benders both the bowled tidy spells and picked up a wicket a piece. Johnny Allen had a trundle too and The Lord rolled back the years with a typically miserly spell making the bats play every ball. By this time Ashford were 8 down with their last pair at the wicket. The close fielders were very impressed with James Magli (batting 10) who played some of the most attractive shots of the day in putting together the highest score of the Ashford innings.

Eventually Ashford were getting too close to the draw for comfort and the Captain was urged to bring himself back on to mop up and get the boys into the showers. This he did by digging one in a bit and getting the obdurate #9 to spoon one back to him. It capped a 203 run victory and a game that had something for every Wick player.

The game was played in good spirit and we must thank Ashford for getting the game back on. Facing a target of 278 off 43 some oppos would have been less keen to soak it up and especially having been bullied with the bat. The 4s are now 26 points clear at the top of the table going into a game with Staines next week who beat us in the ill-fated affair at their ground last season. It will be an interesting test.

JMac and the Giant Peach – 4s Stay Top After 5th Straight Win

Wick 218-5 Edmonds 63, Clark 47, Laight 36*
Oppo 90ish JMac 5-26

Scorecard

A crushing win against a young and old Egham side vindicated Skipper Linter's controversial decision to bat first on Kingsfield this week. Following a succession of early “bowl first” finishes this season, the skipper decided to set up the game this week and back a strong attack to bowl out the oppo. In the event his bowlers had too much for Egham with JMac McMullan the pick with a useful 5 for 26.

Our half of Chedward had begged the skipper during the week to field first so he could get on the Britneys and watch the other half (playing 2s) from the balcony. Splints though took one look at the deck and decided it was a bat first type of deck and he was probably right.

Ched took the first ball once Splints had won the toss and was accompanied by Clark. The pitch was a standard Kingsfield number with two of everything - two paced and bounce that was up and down like a dwarf in a New Zealand bar with rugby players in town. Perfectly playable of course but a test for anyone expecting cricket week main square decks….

Hawes from the Everest End was decently brisk and swung the ball away and instantly earned the respect of both batsman, beating the edge and delivering a number of Kingsfield jaffas... balls that swing and then seam off the compliant surface… providing a true challenge. Being a 4xi game no one is good enough to get an edge on them - but they are a thing of beauty for the student of cricket aesthetics. The challenge comes from trying to rearrange your thoughts with a pack of close fielders telling you the bowling’s too good for you etc etc.

The plan was to see off the opener, see off the shine, bat 'til drinks and then take stock. Once a look had been had, Clark played some aggressive shots in a reasonably composed stay at the crease. He was severe on anything pitched short but his timing was a little off and in combination with a slow outfield found himself running far too many threes for his or Ched’s comfort. Ched played cautiously and patiently while Clarky biffed a few – with a couple of streaky edges thrown in - and the pair almost ticked off all of their objectives until Clark patted a nothing ball tamely to mid off in time to get first go at the drinks waiting on the boundary edge.

The change bowling was by and large one side of the wicket which kept the scoring rate respectable. The Wick were 80-1 approximately at drinks but with a solid base and batting to come could be quietly confident of setting a sound total.

Tanzeel came and went unluckily top edging a pulled full toss to long leg. Rob Ritchie played a typically belligerent innings and smote one of the changed bowlers over his favourite boundary for a maximum. When Rob perished Unsworth briefly prospered before Kirky played a gem of an innings to register his highest league score, pulling anything short mercilessly along the floor to the midwicket boundary and later smashing some big shots down the ground to remain 36*.

Charles was the glue to the innings though and started to cut loose, eventually achieving a well deserved 50 before powering into the early 60s. He was undone in the end by a wild swing chasing a declaration total and it fell to the skipper to partner Kirky to the 45.5 ball and 218 for 5. It was a well balanced assembly of runs but perhaps we could have pushed on a little quicker. But these are mere trifles. Ched was seriously ruing Splinter’s decision to bat at this point. Wickman will wager it’s the first time he has batted for 42 overs in any form of cricket. It was hard work with excellent application and patience were on show. But it was a physically and mentally demanding knock which will hopefully prepare him for further challenges in the season ahead.

Dave did not serve trifles at tea sadly. But he did surpass himself. There was mass refusal of the cream cheese and spring onion but everything else was wolfed down. Coronation chicken made a reappearance (bravo, encore etc etc) as did beef. The sweet elements were so popular that when Clarky returned to load his plate (went too large on the savouries) there was nothing left! For that and the misjudgement on the cream cheese this is a 9.5. Highest mark ever awarded by Wickman for a home tea. But it was one of Dave’s finest.

Egham’s chase began positively. The oppo skipper is a good cricketer and began at quite a pace. Olly King was bowling from the Mariana Trench end with a surprisingly brisk crosswind which made it difficult for him to shape the ball away this week. So we were treated to the best batting of the day as Bartlett whipped a succession of balls off middle and middle and leg savagely through midwicket.

At the other end Linter bounced a Surrey Ladies trained bat and then mercilessly beat her neck and crop with a perfect awayswinger shaped from leg stump to hit middle and off through a defeated forward defensive. That this was only a ball after we believed he had pinned her in front with a sand shoe crusher was all the more sweet.

Replaced by the number three who looked more than competent this was where the game was “on”. For a while Egham were exactly on the rate that Clark and Edmonds had set earlier. The question was though, would they be able to last 45 overs?

The answer came relatively quickly. Olly nipped a perfectly pitched ball back up the slope to kiss the top of #3’s middle stump. #4 and the skipper looked busy and punished bad bowling for a couple of overs but the introduction of JMac changed the course of the game. He bowled Bartlett off his pads with an inducker and then perhaps with the worst ball of the day he convinced the remaining top order adult batsman to glove one down the leg side to the keeper who collapsed like a gorilla hit by a vet’s dart into a heap and pouched it at the same time.

There was not then a great deal of substance to the rest of the innings. JMac cleaned up another bat or two, one with the sort of peach that should sign up with TMac’s agent to secure a role as a giant fruit in the next film version of James and the Giant Peach. Dom Lown removed a couple – one utilizing the keeper’s legendary matrix skills “it’s like a 2s retirement home out here” the other a drag on as a reward for his tight off stump line. Boooooooooooom. Egham all out in 26.3 overs with JMac registering a very decent 5-26.

It’s too early in the season to be drawing any conclusions. After the narrow low scoring squeak at Valley End at least this game had some quality and structure to it. When England were making a meal out of killing off New Zealand a week or so ago in The North commentators were asking about the “style” of the cricket being played. Well… this was fairly ruthless. Today the 4s top the table and have opened up a 15 point gap… you couldn’t ask much more of them. There will be sterner tests ahead, you can be sure.

Old Whitgiftians vs 3xi - Match Report by Saycey

Tea a Poor 5.5 "Saved" by Sausage and Chips

HWRCC 3xi 162 all out (Collier 41)
OW 163 - 5

Scorecard

The weather and the setting for this encounter encapsulated all that is good about playing cricket in the British summer. The sun shone, it was even warm (sun cream dusted off for the first time) and a small, well situated ground. The deck was rock hard but patchy suggesting plenty in it for the bowlers. The boundaries square were very short and the outfield short and quick. Old Whits won the toss and decided to bowl.

One senses this wasn’t a popular move by the skipper. Having a drink after his first over, the opening bowler was heard to remark, “I can’t believe we’ve decided to bowl on this. It’s an absolute road.” In the third over Collier induces cover to twist his ankle and take them down to ten men. Canny work. All looks fairly serene, Kannan times two beautiful back foot drives to the boundary and it’s another solid start by the pair. At 31-0, Kannan is castled by one that comes back in. An over later, Sayce is sent packing for a duck, bowled having left one. It’s come back a mile – even the bowler doesn’t know how it happened.

The mercurial Tughral is in at 4, having returned from Hong Kong on the Friday. He strides to the crease with the words of “take your time” resounding in his ears. First bowl, slapped through the covers for four, the second he takes two steps down the track and dispatches Woodrow over long on for a huge six. That’s one way to counter-attack. Fifth ball his stumps are splattered as he aims another big shot over the leg side. 45-3.

The skipper’s brother is given the no5 slot ahead of the recently arrived new boy, Yasir. Collier and Sayce R look comfortable and put us back into a decent position and still moving along at 4.5 an over. The elder Sayce having outperformed his brother chips to mid-off and is caught. 80-4. Collier is left in charge of rebuilding again, this time with Yasir who’d been given a personal recommendation by his mate, Farooq. The new boy looks good with cuts and drives either side of the pitch. Collier falls on the verge of drinks for 41 to stall the recovery. Dan Kemp is then undone by one that keeps low by the wily left armer. 115-6. Yasir and Jonny Allen mix defence with attack to good effect putting on 40 before Yasir is caught at mid-on for 40 before Allen is caught in the covers. The last few wickets fall for not many and the Wick finish on 162 but having used only 40 overs. It feels a long way short of par but it’s a score on the board to be chased.

Tea? Saved by hot chips and sausages. 5.5

We take the old ball and entrust it to the youngsters. Alex Dare spinning and teasing the openers from one end, and Dan Kemp swinging it and tempting them from the other. The bowling was excellent, and the number of times ball beat bat escalated. Eventually Dare traps one LBW. Somehow the other opener doesn’t edge one of Kemp many in-duckers. Bowl like that every week and these two will surely take a stack of wickets this summer. The new ball having been taken departs at a quicker rate as Donnelly and Smith are treated harshly by the second wicket pair with the Wick pushing for wickets to force a way into the game defending their total. Eventually the opener skies one to Donnelly at mid-off but having made 70 most of the hard work has been done. In the closing stages, Smith takes two more victims including an incredible leaping catch by Kemp on the rope to dismiss the no3 for 46. Kannan makes a good run out but in the end Old Whits reach their target in 28 overs with 5 wickets down.

A disappointing result to be beaten so comprehensively by a side of not massively superior talent. Collier and Yasir showed the requirements for building a total but 162 never felt like enough. The bowling of Dare and Kemp showed real promise and on a different day would have found greater reward. Again, more positives but not the positive result the boys have been striving for.

Valley End vs HWRCC 4xi - Match Report by Wickles

Keith "runs out of energy" through not eating enough tea at Valley End

Scorecard

The last time I visited Valley End their 1st XI were in Div1 of the Fullers League and they had just started work on a3rd/ 4th Xi ground just across the road from the main ground . Five successive promotions followed. The price of this success was to be huge. The cricket bureaucrats turned up with their tape measures and deemed the main ground to be too small for 1st team cricket. So the 3rdX1 ground is in the process of becoming their first team ground. I paid a short visit before the game. The ground has two port-a-cabins, new covers and three massive sightscreens at each end which would make Joe Ewen look like a dwarf. The ground has a large grass bank at one end which reminded me of Arundel, without the charm (there is the constant drone of traffic from the nearby M3). The club are trying to raise £800,000 for a large new pavilion that can cater for disabled cricket. They are an excellent, well run club with plenty of ambition to provide first class facilities whilst maintaining their local community spirit

The old first team ground is idyllic, surrounded by trees with a good wicket, sightscreens and covers. It is by a country mile the best ground the 4th xi will play on this season. Last year was the best 4th team game of the season with fifty and five wickets from Clarky earning the Clark family another visit to La Cloche. Unaccountable Clarky decided that this year he would rather hit a little white ball around Hampton Court rather than don the whites. Shame on him. [Harsh but fair - Ed]

Not sure who won the toss but The Wick fielded first for the fourth time in a row. Ollie King and the skipper Phil Linter had this week's opposition in the same sort of trouble that they had last week's - Valley End in 28 for 6 in no time at all. The highlight was a good catch by Kirk Laight running backward in the covers. Valley End rallied but were all out for an under par 68 off 31 overs with Kirk and The Chairman cleaning up at the end with two wickets apiece (it was so slow that at one point The Chairman considered that he had taken the wrong option and umpiring the 2nd XI would have been more exciting).

Tea was not taken; much to the disgust of The Chairman who was feeling decidedly peckish after his "exertions". Young Dominic Jones, the most stylish batsman on view all day, was soon taken at slip off Andrew Freeman, a useful young bowler who moved it both ways all be it at a gentle pace. James Lloyd soon followed but with Phil Miles, Rob Swaine and Max Talman, who was very tidy behind the stumps, all making double figure The Wick at 47-3 were cruising to their fourth victory on the trot. 47-3 soon becomes 52-8 however, but Kirk and Ollie King saw the team reach their target, much to the relief of The Chairman who was next in. Valley End took thie defeat in good spirits, not for them the histrionics and excessive appealing you see with many sides. So 18 wickets fell for 137 runs from nearly 56 overs. Poor batting by both teams. Perhaps Mr Clark was not so daft after all. [Debateable - Clark is rumoured to have threatened suicide after recording a 95 in the Monthly Medal - Ed].

Tea was taken and was fine although I cannot give marks as most of the plates were empty by the time I had got to it, as I was chatting to their President whose name is also Keith . Keith, who seemed to have been involved with the club for a fair portion of its 118 year history, thanked me for the glowing report of Valley End CC made by Wickman in 2012. There was nothing from my visit this season that would prevent me from endorsing that report. Valley End are a friendly, well run club who play cricket in the right way and the right spirit. We wish them well this season [apart from in the return fixture - naturally - Ed] and in their desire for a new pavilion.

3xi vs Valley End - Match Report by Saycey

A Run Out that We All Enjoyed...

Scorecard

Looking for their first win at the fourth attempt, the thirds took to the field with a strong looking (on paper – not the bruiser kind) 11 against Valley End. Having won the toss for the first time this summer, Sayce put Valley End in to bat on a typical Kingsfield pitch. You had a good idea that it would “do a bit” but how much, where and when was down to the Kingsfield gremlins..

In the huddle, the skipper remarked on the fact that for once the thirds had eleven and they were all present and correct to start the game. Think that’s a given? See previous 3s match reports. Breaking from the huddle (where other encouraging positive words and instructions were dispensed) the 2s skipper Ben Stephens was seen ambling on to the pitch for a word. The 2s were batting but only had 8 men. Charles was duly surrendered to play in the 2s and maybe putting Valley End in to bat wasn’t the best idea. The 3s would field with 10 men.

Schalk, poached from Crossbats by Collier, opened from the top and showed decent wheels. Valley End’s openers were up to it and looked solid. Sam Jones from the Pavillion looked dangerous and caused problems. Neither had the luck they deserved and the breakthrough had to wait until Jack Smith induced the young opener into skying a drive, well held by Kannan at mid-on. After that the durable opener at the other end supported by the No3 Messenger put together a decent stand, never getting away from the Wick but building a good foundation for a big total. The skipper using captain’s prerogative brought himself on after drinks in search of a wicket. It duly arrived with the opener’s middle stump knocked back. Sadly for him, Sayce thought that bought him another over. Trying the controversial tactic of coming round the wicket to the right hander he beat the bat twice but was also dispatched for a 4 and a 6 in the direction of cow corner. The skipper brought back Chaz who did get rid of Messenger for 81. The middle order put together some useful runs and Valley End finished on 230. Jack Smith’s 1-31 showing real control stood out.

The batting looked capable of chasing 230. Collier and Kannan provided another solid start putting on 45 before Kannan departed. Sayce came in and played out three handy maiden overs from the top end. He finally got off the mark with a two behind square. Next ball he called Collier through for a suicidal single which Collier was never in contention to make. 55-2. Sayce feeling a huge deal of remorse and responsibility set about repairing the innings and putting the team back in contention. With Copeland, the Wick got themselves into a position of needing 115 off the last 20 with 8 wickets in hand. Sayce was harsh on anything short from the young spinners while Copeland swept and reverse swept to his delight and the oppos annoyance. Copeland then mistimed to midwicket and was caught. Sayce made further progress with van vuuren. Now 100 needed. Sayce then had another brain-fade running himself out off a no ball. He’d managed to run out his side’s two top-scorers. Has he forgotten how to judge a run?? Despite a belligerent 15 from Dan Kemp with some scorching back foot shots, the Wick ended up 79 short in the end.

More positives to be taken despite the loss. This game really could have gone the other way if the Wick had fielded with 10 and the skipper had a better eye for a well judged run.

MOM – Jack Smith. Villian – undeniably the captain.

First Ever Match Report... June 9th 1863

Even the first ever match report mentions tea. Nothing changes.

150th Birthday Party - June 9th

Hampton Wick Royal Cricket Club will celebrate the 150th anniversary of its first ever game on Sunday June 9th, 2013 by replaying it in Victorian dress.

The club will also celebrate by putting on a fair for local residents at its Bushy Park main ground, off Bushy Park road, Hampton Wick.

Club Chairman Keith Nicholls and 1st XI captain Graeme Tong will lead two teams – Gentlemen and Players - to replay the opening game in Victorian dress and to Victorian rules set in 1835.

The match will start at 2pm alongside a range of entertainment for members of the public – particularly families - including bouncy castle, face painting, children’s entertainer, cake decorating, coconut shy, egg throwing competition, croquet and confectionary stall. There will be a fancy dress competition with a Victorian theme.

The Club bar will be open, there will additionally be a Pimms stall and BBQ food available throughout the day.

Club Chairman Keith Nicholls said of the day:

“The people of Hampton Wick created this cricket club in 1863 and bar the 1st world war years the club has continued to be a vital part of the sporting life of the village ever since. We want to welcome local residents to the club on June 9th to celebrate the anniversary and to enjoy a day in our fantastic park. We’re keeping our fingers crossed for good weather – 150 years ago 217 runs were scored and the Chairman’s side lost – I’m looking to put that right this time around, although some of my team members are almost old enough to have played the original fixture”.

The Club received its “Royal” name from the involvement of an early patron, His Serene Highness the Prince of Teck, a relative of Queen Victoria. The club was formally established at a meeting on May 13th1863.

HWRCC is a thriving club with more than 100 playing members and 150 Colts members, running four Saturday cricket teams in the Surrey Championship. Its 1st XI currently tops Division 5 and its 4th XI tops the West Division.

When Commentators Have Nothing To Write About

Wickman never goes anywhere without both...

There was so much chuntering in the commentary boxes of Headingly on Sunday night, throughout Monday and on through Tuesday that you would have thought that England had lost this mini-series against New Zealand.


Instead they have won it in some style in the end. The commentating fraternity had very little to do from Sunday evening onwards because Captain Cook had batted New Zeland out of the game and the series. England were 250 ahead with 9 wickets in hand, rain on the way and almost no chance they could find a way to lose against a visiting side that was fast slipping into depression.

Which meant they had to find something to write and talk about. So the debate turned not to whether or not England would win… but how they should do it. And then everyone got very exercised.

There were three basic opinions. Opinion 1 – mostly favoured by the blood and thunder merchants – was to make New Zealand follow on and grovel. Very tabloid. Very red top. Smash ‘em. Opinion 2 – bat on a bit – set the oppo about 350 because, frankly, they’ll never get ‘em. And there’s rain about. Very broadsheet... Guardian / Observer thoughtful. Opinion 3 is grind them into the dust, making the game and the series safe before making any other consideration. Stuff the critics. Stuff the public. We've a job to do and we don't need to win the game to do it.

No one liked opinion 3 apart from the England team and management. And some former captains who know the drill. And so they did bat on and on until the chance of an NZ victory was completely extinguished. The professional, belt, braces and another belt way to do things.

So the last 60 hours has been spent on this debate with everyone having their two pennies worth. Largely there were two sub camps: Camp one followers believe that England should kill NZ every time they play them. Camp two followers think England should play like kings. Be ruthless and less... er... English. And everyone has missed the point in Wickman’s not so humble view.

Back in the day – let’s say 1987 onwards – England were rubbish. They were rubbish for the best part of 18 years. Couldn’t beat anyone away and only occasionally beat teams at home. They improved enough to win the Ashes in 2005 and a couple of other series before collapsing again until 2009.

They’re now pretty good again following their fight back and win against the Indians. Although in the last 12 months they have lost a lot of tests and a couple of series – Pakistan have seriously tucked them up and South Africa annihilated them to the point where the team shattered and the captain resigned. Early this year we almost lost a series to New Zealand on some of the flattest pitches you are likely to see in Test cricket. Our second best batsman is injured. Our best bowler has been out for months and has only just returned. Our best batsman hadn’t had a good knock in a couple of months. We’ve got a couple of teenagers in the middle order (near enough) and an opening batsman that no one likes because he doesn’t smash it.

England is a good side – but it’s not good enough yet to start taking liberties. Not even against the Kiwis.  It has a strong professional management team that is innovating hard and making sure that no stone is left unturned. Flower is probably the best head coach in world cricket and in time will be studied by coaches from other sports you'd think. Flower (with the backing of the ECB) has instilled clarity of objectives. We want to win. We want to be the best team in World cricket. But Wickman's not sure he heard anyone say "we want to play like the Gods of yesteryear and brush everyone aside". Mores the pity. But it's not an objective that's been set, yet.

And Wickman is guessing that’s what motivated the safety first approach from Sunday onwards. Dominate the game. Check. Make the series safe. Check. Try and win the game. Check. Do the professional thing.

Wickman is happy enough with that. He wants to see England win, first and foremost. Perhaps the commentators have got different objectives…

Just Such a Perfect Day - Match Report by G Smith The Elder

Charlton did not fancy his chances of making it across no man's land

Match Report - Bushy Park League
Hampton Hill 183 for 7
Hampton Wick Royal 184 for 2

“It’s such a perfect day, I’m glad I spent it with you.” Lou Reed

You need several things to come together to form the perfect cricketing day:

All day sun in a cloudless sky with perhaps the occasional slight zephyr to cool down the bowlers - Check
Good quality team who are out to enjoy themselves and up for a bit of banter – Check
Friendly Oppo who want to win but play it in the right spirit - Check
High Quality tea including mini doughnuts and perfectly quartered sandwiches with crusts sliced off - Check (ish)
Post match balcony beer from a Wick Player’s hundred jug watching the sun go down and the deer strolling across the ground - Check
A sober Chedward – I’m afraid not, but 5 out of 6 ain’t too bad

This summed up the opening Bushy Park League game of 2013 but on the night before the game, things were not looking so rosy. The usual struggle with numbers meant that we were only 10 men and about to lose another as a worried 1st team skipper attempted to withdraw the services of the great Nomaan after his vital but tiring ton against Dorking. But Nomaan is not one to let the side down and he insisted on participating to the obvious horror of Tong G. The conversation between 1st team skipper and Sunday skipper went like this:

Tong: “ Look Smith, you long streak of p***, I don’t want Nomaan to play but if he must, then you can’t bowl him”
Smith: “Absolutely sir, I’ll just give him a bat then.”
Tong: “No, no, no, you lanky muppet , you can’t bat him higher than 11.”
Smith: “ Right you are, sir, I’ll just let him graze at mid wicket”
Tong: “ No, no, no you great sack of manure, he has to be at slip the whole day and then given a rub down afterwards.”
Smith: “But sir, what if I bring on Charlie High to bowl, surely I can then put him on the boundary like the rest of the team?”
Tong: “You ancient buffoon, Smith, can you really envisage an occasion when Charlie would need to bowl in a match?”
Smith: “Fair point, your highness.”

So we took to the field the following morning with Nomaan in an advisory capacity and the youngest member of the McMullen production line, Jonny, drafted in to make up the eleven – after some serious negotiations concerning exam revision ( In short, I’m in for £500 to bung the Edexcel Latin Exam marker, 500 quid pro quo I suppose).

The sun shone with real warmth on the Wick team for the first time this year allowing Smith to happily consign his thermal long johns to the kit cupboard. The team then took the appropriate positions with Nomaan firmly ensconced at 1st slip form where he began to dispensed a constant stream of encouragement and advice to the bowlers, this ranged from the catchy: “keep going Jack” to the memorable “keep going Ian” with the odd “keep going Graham” thrown in for a bit of variation.

The two Smiths opened up and bowled a disciplined line for their allotted overs, with Smith J the meaner of the two, going for just 15 off his 8 overs. Smith G plodded in gamely and managed to get the opener to feather one behind to the young Stan Kearney making his Sunday debut behind the stumps – nicely pouched.

Taking over from the Smith father son combo, the McMullan father son combo proved equally adept. Old man McMullan called on all his thespian powers to give the clever impression that he could bowl a bit as indeed he could, despite taking the odd spot of verbal abuse from his nurturing skipper. The highlight of his spell saw Tim skip to the wicket whilst quoting Macbeth; this clearly unsettled the Hampton Hill bat who launched the ball high into the azure sky. As the ball continued its path to the heavens, square leg shuffled nervously and pretended he lost the ball in the sun, mid wicket suffered an untimely but temporary hamstring spasm which left a young and steely eyed Jack Smith alone under the ball which had by now begun its re-entry from the stratosphere.

It was a magnificent catch, for which McMullan still owes Smith J a shandy or two.

At the other end, Jonny McMullan marked his Sunday debut with a truly impressive spell of seam bowling at a brisk pace that would have made his brother proud and was unlucky not to pick up a wicket in his spell. I for one will never forget one particular delivery, the intense look on Jonny’s face as he began his 3rd over, steaming in with purpose, with vigour but with his cap still on.

The pressure on the Hampton Hill batsman was kept up with the introduction of Alex Wright making his first appearance of the year. A solid and impressive spell with a couple of wickets as just reward for a man well on his way to regaining his pre childbirth figure.

To tempt the oppo into some reckless shots, Ian Tong was summoned to show his leg spinning prowess, which he duly did with considerable skill. Two cracking deliveries in particular caught the eye: a sharp turner that pitched leg and hit the top of off stump and a similar one that took the edge and landed in the hands of Nomaan at, guess where?, yes, at 1st slip. With Ian Tong in the side you feel like you have 3 cricketers for the price of one, which is handy if his brother tries to take out half your team.

The pitch was a 220 pitch and at about 165 for 7 we had control but perhaps we needed to open up the game to ensure full advantage was made of the warming sun. But how?

So it came to pass that Charlie High bravely took the ball and produced an over that had several consequences:

Firstly, the 15 runs that emanated from the over helped Hampton Hill post a total that allowed Robbie Oliver to make his magnificent ton

Secondly, as the fielders returned shellshocked from various parts of the boundary and beyond, happy that they had survived the kind of carnage not seen since the 1st day of the Somme, they were able to look each other in the eye and instantly know that a strong bond had been formed.

PS the inaugural survivors meeting will take place on Sunday week at the Wick.

Thirdly Charlie now has a greater respect for his bowling compatriots.

Tea was taken by all but with particular vigour by Nomaan who piled his plate whilst encouraging DBW to “keep going, keep going”.

Ed Charlton and Robbie Oliver strode out to open up for the Wick and set about the bowling with alacrity and in no time had 50 on the board. The pitch was a belter, such a belter in fact that Charlton looked unphased throughout his innings and looked set for a big score, double figures even. This he achieved but on 21 his time came.

Robbie, keen to move from 49 to 50, stroked one to an extra cover who was back on his heels. Forgetting that his partner was pining for Charles and clearly not fully concentrating, Oliver called for a sharp one. Charlton responded in the manner of a brave Tommy returning to his trench across a sodden and muddy no man’s land. He was dead before he hit the ground.

No doubt chastened by the experience, Oliver went on to play in a manner that had his team mates in raptures and the oppo fielders applauding. I don’t recall a single chance and the ball was kept on the deck virtually throughout this tremendous innings. Ian Tong and later, Charlie High, contributed well with the bat and helped guide Robbie to what I believe to be his first senior ton and what I am certain to be just a taste of things to come.

With over 830 runs over the weekend the pitch is shaping up nicely and those who have played this year on Saturdays and Sundays, especially Charlie, have benefited from the extra batting. There is nothing better than time in the middle.

So the game ended; played in a great spirit by two sides happy to be out on such a day. Jugs were bought , beers were drunk and stories swapped. The sun began to slip into the horizon and the Wick displayed all its bucolic charm that sunny Sunday evening, a charm that was then enhanced by the surreal appearance of Charles Edmonds returning tired and emotional after a day at Twickers where he thinks he was meant to be working but couldn’t quite be sure.

Such a perfect day.

The Peril of Uncovered Pitches

What the oppo skipper saw when he chose to bat... (A green pudding... keep up... Ed)

Wick 4xi vs Thames Ditton - Scorecard

Thames Ditton 37 - Linter 4-8

HWRCC 40-0 - Clark 31*

Winning the toss and batting first on a drying Kingsfield is a recipe for disaster. And so the Thames Ditton skipper discovered on Saturday as, after 72 hours of rain, he won the toss and decided to commit hari kiri (sorry bat) against a tasty Wick 4xi bowling line up of King, Linter, Lown, McMullen (J), Rob Swaine and Curtis S Tigers.

If the wicket had been sodden and he was hoping to take advantage of a wet ball and nail us later as the track dried we'd have applauded him. As it was we simply marvelled. There could be no worse time to bat on a drying wicket that was legal... But barely. This is what commentators are talking about when they remember uncovered wickets.

And his compatriots were mown down on it like so many honest Tommies on the Somme. The ball reared from a length. When it wasn't scuttling from short of a length. It popped and hissed. It seamed like a lively pair of Armani denims. Great chunks and divots were gouged out as the ball pitched. Behind the stumps we opined that we were pleased to be 30+ yards away from the ball. And we thought that 100 might be difficult to chase with conditions as they were and the outfield of a municipal length.

The beneficiaries of TD's largesse were Olly and Skiplinter. In 14 overs they destroyed TD reducing them to six down with hardly a run on the board and no sense of where one might come from. Caught they were. And bowled. Sometimes they were caught and bowled. Jonny McMullen took a stunning catch at fourth slip over his head stretching. Clarky took one behind the sticks over his gut stretching. Kurt picked one off his toes at square leg. Splints took another. It was mayhem.

The bowling was rotated for variety. Jonny bowled some big induckers and should have had a plumb lbw decision but was horribly denied. Lownsy reprised his Malinga variations to great effect - in one over perfectly zipping three balls across a right handed before curling one back to splatter the off stump through the gate. Kurt Leight - like Kirk Laight in all but name - removed the final two bats with left armers up the hill. Rob Swaine re-debuted and managed to bowl a few very tidy overs without breaking his thumb.

The Wick were jolly in the field and apart from the putting down two sitters so sitterish that you would expect them to be caught by Jeremy Beadle with his good arm tied behind his back (when he was alive, obv) it was blemish free with Tim McMullen belieingly agile, Olly King sharp in the gully and two Dom's - Lown and Jones - unsingleable in the covers. Lloydy and Clarky discussed rumours of multi-generational libidinous Swedes. Did we concede a boundary? Perhaps we did - edged to third man. And perhaps one that was driven.

They made 37. It was not time for tea. So we didn't have it. When we did it was the same as always. 7.

When we batted Clarky was sent in to shepherd Dominic Jones in his debut adult innings. A number of things happened. First it became clear that Jones had been corrupted by his elders who had convinced him to run hard and push Clark for threes in the warm May sunshine. Second Jones is a far more competent bat than his stature may have led Clark to believe and he proceeded to outbat if not outscore Clark - who was determined to knock the runs off as quickly as possible to get to the aforementioned tea. Not before Jones had leant on an off drive with all the nonchalance that Clark manages when he leans on a bar (considerable) and carved a square cut (just behind) that was wasted on a 4xi game.

The chase was up in 7.1 overs without loss and there is little more to be said. Clark bashed it around and was hit a couple of times in the gut by ones that spat making him think it was not a good deck to bat on and reflect that were his gut full of tea (see earlier) perhaps the blow would have been further cushioned. Jones - half his height and a tenth of his girth - ignored these tribulations and batted beautifully. Promising debut. Excellent spell from King who was nearly unplayable. Four wickets for Skipper Linter who hardly put a foot wrong. MOM? You can't give one. There wasn't enough match. Well - maybe the oppo skipper. He had a scratch side out and might have spared them a difficult afternoon in the field by batting first. Enough said. Actually - give it to ours. He did everything well - even down to apologising to the guys who were TFCed.

1xi vs Sinjun Grammarians - Match Report

"I'll show you some red ink, muthaf..."

“Ol red ink Myers” (M.Davies)

Scorecard

Buoyed by victory the previous week and facing a side that struggled to retain status in the Surrey Champ last year the wick were feeling in confident mood.

A new sense of cautious optimism had entered the dressing room as well as Tongy has selected a changing room DJ for each week. This week should have been Fin Murray but he remembered late in the week that he had an exam on the Monday so Tong jnr stepped up and choose a bit of Kasabian to get the dressing room rocking. Blank faces from Ali, Rashid and Fahad but Kilner whistling along seemed to approve.

Riley’s lucky coin didn’t work this week and Sinjun decided that runs on the board were the way forward. As with last week Aqeel still looked a little short for match practice and the Sinjun openers took advantage of him and a slightly weary Tong jnr (ask him about his antics in a back alley off the Strand the night before…). Despite this the Wick were able to pick up early wickets and the big wicket of Ali Zaidi to a debatable LBW decision meant we had the key breakthroughs.

The change of bowling to Tanveer and Tong snr meant the pressure was applied and Fahad bowled 10 on the spin despite not having slept for 36 hours (how does the guy do it???), only conceding a remarkable 17 in the process. Kilner and Rashid also had a go and successfully claimed wickets and then when Ali entered as 5^th change bowler there was really no let off for the oppo. Catches were held and skipper Tong managed a direct hit run out from mid-wicket in a very slick fielding and bowling display. End result Sinjun all out for 138 in 47 overs.

The deck had been a bit juicy and the ball had moved around right up to the 40^th over. This wouldn’t be a straightforward chase. It was then made even harder when the Wick lost Ali and Rashid with only 8 on the board.

The Tong partnership was once again required to propel the wick along. Well not so much propel as splutter as both Tongs were dropped twice and played and missed regularly. This Sinjun bowling attack will cause damage this year and are far improved from previous seasons. The Tong boys dug in and put on nearly 50 to break the back of the chase. However a rare bad delivery wasn’t fully punished by Tong snr and he spooned to mid-on to the delight of Sinjun. Kilner joined the party and seemed more in control along with Tong jnr but Sinjun kept working hard and picked up Tong, Kilner and High in quick succession to a series of poor strokes. Always difficult to put the bad ball away when you are so intent on keeping so many good deliveries out.

5 down and 50 still needed, nerves jangling and skipper Tong's finger nails were fast disappearing. Surely after such a promising start the boys couldn’t throw this away? Fortunately new recruit Paul Myers adds some solid middle order Northern grit to the team. Not out in both friendlies and the 1^st league game, he didn’t fancy giving his wicket away in this one either. Always composed and happy to take time to get settled he and other new boy Jamal saw the Wick home. It was tight but it had been done. The depth of the Wick batting was key and could be for the remainder of the year. Another bonus point win achieved and the Wick were top of the league. Bring on Dorking next week…..

Oxted & Limpsfield vs HWRCC 3xi - Match Report

Copeland Looks Damn Cool But Is Still Late

All "Round" Performance From Paddy McMullen Can't Prevent Defeat for 3s

Scorecard

On Friday afternoon, the Wick were looking at taking to the field with nine men for their away game at O&L. Thankfully, Paddy McMullen stepped in and encouraged two mates to re-engage with our summer sport. Welcome Tom Butterfield and Jackson Iredale.

With a full complement of players we set off for O&L, a little behind schedule at 1130 but with enough time to make it unless the M25 was cruel. Copeland lived up to his rock and roll billing and arrived late (again) on his bike. Two cars departed while the brothers Sayce waited for Copeland. Fifteen minutes in Bushy Park queues didn’t help but the last car to depart the Wick arrived at O&L at 1230.

Awaiting them there was Chaz who had gone straight. No sign of the others. At 1250, with only four Wickmen on the scene O&L won the toss and decided to bat. The umpire insisted no start until the Wick had 8. At 1255, a car arrived. Three Wickmen inside. So still no chance of starting although the O&L openers were ready to go. Phone call. The other four were at the other O&L ground. At 1310, O&L’s captain offers one of his men to give us the requisite eight to start. Skipper thankfully spies the final car coming up the drive. At 1315, we get started with 11 on the field.

Farooq Ahmad opens up and looks lively but with little luck. The O&L openers tough it out and get their side off to a steady start. Chaz ties down the batsman but can’t make the breakthrough either. The older Sayce brother bowls tidy dibbly-dobblers but can’t make a breakthrough. O&L’s openers makes fifties for consecutive weekends. Paddy McMullen comes down the hill and while lacking fitness (a first year at Uni well spent) has too much pace at this level. He bowls full and straight and picks up four wickets. O&L close on 230-6. Not out of reach on a decent track with a fast outfield but the Wick batting line-up doesn’t look to have strength in depth.

Tea. Excellent. Particularly for those with a sweet tooth. A 50/50 savoury/sweet split featuring scones and muffins. This week’s path to victory involves batting the fifty overs. Occupation of the crease with a late burst will get us close...

Last week’s ton hero gets strangled down the leg side, caught behind to a ball that nicks his pad but nothing else. Tough call for the Ump but harder for our hero to stomach. Skipper nicks to the keeper and Harry’s stumps get splattered. We’re 15-3.

Who’s this week’s hero? Paddy steps in with some lusty blows to make 27. No-one else makes double figures. 69 all out in 20 overs. Not pretty, in fact very ugly.

The batting is perhaps best glossed over this week and we’ll give Pete Glancy of O&L credit for his six wickets. Improvement clearly needed here if we’re going to compete. This week’s bowling looked good and Farooq Ahmad looks like he may prosper during the summer despite being luckless.

Perhaps having 11 men at 1300 will help us turn the corner?