Strauss Grows a Pair

Cor. Stone the crows. England have won two one day matches in a row. And the style they have done it in. Incredible.

Now Wickman isn't writing here of the dashing batting of Shah and Colly - although they did bat out of their skins. Nor is he referring to Morgan's dashing 60 odd which had Bob Willis wetting himself in the commentary box alongside Harsha Bogle (good name). No. Wickman's fascinated by Andrew "The Steel" Strauss' refusal to give Smith a runner.

You used to have to be Australian to refuse a runner - it was in all the unofficial laws. Ranatunga famously was told by Ian Healy that you don't get a runner because you are fat. Last night Smith was knackered. On his last legs having biffed 120 odd and put in 50 overs at first slip. AB De V (the fastest man on either side) turned up to do some running for his cramped up skipper.

And boy did the crowd and the dressing room not like it when the umpires and Strauss (mostly Strauss) told Cruella to go and put his feet up. Howls from the stands. Gnashing of teeth from the dressing room. Supporters accusing Strauss of having a long twirly moustache a black cape and a tall hat. Others recalling Ponting's 2005 run out as evidence of malfeasance (despite forgetting that Pratt was on for Simon Jones who was in hospital that time).

For some reason an England skipper deciding (although it's the umpires who make the decision - check your laws) that Smith - cramped up, not injured - couldn't have a runner is a dastardly and cowardly act of a scared leader. There's a sense in which the poor, crippled South African leader was mortally wounded like some figure from a a Hollywood blockbuster or more likely the Black Knight of Monty Python fame. Apparently Smith would have won the game from there if he'd been allowed someone to run for him.

Wickman says we will never know but reckons its a pile of old bollocks. It's hardly as if the plucky Smith, with limbs hacked off by the dastardly English captain, fought valiantly against insurmountable odds. SA did not lose this game because he became dehydrated and Strauss denied him a "Ganguly" (def. get a bit tired and won't run). They lost it because they bowled worse than England and only Smith was able to bat for any length of time. Perhaps the added psychological weight of being told he couldn't have a runner also crushed the Smith psyche and he wilted. But Wickman doubts it.

Having said that Wickman is keenly anticipating Andrew's first knock in South Africa in a few weeks. Smith at first slip. Steyn 90 yards away pawing the ground like an enraged bull. "Short leg, two out on the hook, the rest of you between me and AB at gully. Let it rip Dale..."