Wickman was amused to hear Andrew Strauss has finally not offering any excuses for the execrable performances in this one day series.
Wickman has always been a big fan of inventive excuses. The Dog ate my homework was always a favourite alongside the classic "food poisoning" which always mysteriously clears up so that a returning employee can be on the beers on a Wednesday evening.
Wickman has noticed that the unfairer sex have advantages in the illness excuse making game. If a young lady texts in and says she's a little bit Tom and Dick and can't come in today you can GUARANTEE that the following day she will turn up looking like the Bride of Dracula or Lilleth from Frasier because she will deliberately not wear make up. So wan, so sickly does this make her look that you are fooled into thinking she's had a brain embolism and has staggered in off her death bed just to make your business profitable. The reality is she's probably been sporting enough war paint to cover a Native American tribe for months just so that when she pulls this sickie it looks effective.
It's hardly as if Andrew Strauss can turn up to the last game of the one day series without his make up on. Or rather if he does we will know that he's preparing to take a sickie somewhere down the line. And frankly what excuses has he got? The two best one day players in the country are injured?
It seems to Wickman that the selectors are in a terrible mess here and if Straussy needs an excuse he should blame the selectors. They seem to have got in a mess with the 50 over stuff because they aren't sure of the Test side and 2020 has turned their heads. Since when is Matt Prior an international No4? Forgive Wickman but surely you would want someone in that position (and number 3) who you thought was more likely than anyone else in the team to able to score a one day ton? Where did all the Test players go? Why is Trotty a test player, but not a 50 overs man? Why when every successful one day side has an explosive opener at the top of the order do we have pedestrians?
Wickman thinks its time to go back to first principles. Pick your best 12 cricketers and leave one out depending on the conditions. If you have a truly slow Boycottesque test opener perhaps leave them to get on with something else but otherwise? Pick a proper cricketer every time in this form of the game.
Hampton Wick Royal Cricket Club * 1863 - 2013 * 150 Glorious Seasons
Friday 18 September 2009
No more excuses for One Day debacle
Wickman was amused to hear Andrew Strauss has finally not offering any excuses for the execrable performances in this one day series.
Wickman has always been a big fan of inventive excuses. The Dog ate my homework was always a favourite alongside the classic "food poisoning" which always mysteriously clears up so that a returning employee can be on the beers on a Wednesday evening.
Wickman has noticed that the unfairer sex have advantages in the illness excuse making game. If a young lady texts in and says she's a little bit Tom and Dick and can't come in today you can GUARANTEE that the following day she will turn up looking like the Bride of Dracula or Lilleth from Frasier because she will deliberately not wear make up. So wan, so sickly does this make her look that you are fooled into thinking she's had a brain embolism and has staggered in off her death bed just to make your business profitable. The reality is she's probably been sporting enough war paint to cover a Native American tribe for months just so that when she pulls this sickie it looks effective.
It's hardly as if Andrew Strauss can turn up to the last game of the one day series without his make up on. Or rather if he does we will know that he's preparing to take a sickie somewhere down the line. And frankly what excuses has he got? The two best one day players in the country are injured?
It seems to Wickman that the selectors are in a terrible mess here and if Straussy needs an excuse he should blame the selectors. They seem to have got in a mess with the 50 over stuff because they aren't sure of the Test side and 2020 has turned their heads. Since when is Matt Prior an international No4? Forgive Wickman but surely you would want someone in that position (and number 3) who you thought was more likely than anyone else in the team to able to score a one day ton? Where did all the Test players go? Why is Trotty a test player, but not a 50 overs man? Why when every successful one day side has an explosive opener at the top of the order do we have pedestrians?
Wickman thinks its time to go back to first principles. Pick your best 12 cricketers and leave one out depending on the conditions. If you have a truly slow Boycottesque test opener perhaps leave them to get on with something else but otherwise? Pick a proper cricketer every time in this form of the game.
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1 comment:
Wickman - love the talk about girls pulling sickies. So true.
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