Momentum

Wickman is now extremely concerned about momentum. Everyone in the England camp has been talking about it for the last few days. A win against the Aussies began to give us some "momentum". We then seized on it to beat the Sri Lankans. After that we were in full momentum swing and trounced the Jaapies. But then we had momentum issues and lost to the Kiwis yesterday who picked up a bit of momentum of their own. So in ODI terms we were LLLLLLWWW and now we are LLLLLLWWWL. What next? Will we symmetrically now lose five more in a row with negative momentum? Wickman is confused.

What's even more confusing is it seems you can have two kinds of momentum. KP here talks about not losing the Ashes momentum. So maybe there is Test momentum as well as one day momentum and you can get destroyed by Australia six times in a row in one day cricket but lose no Test momentum in the process?

Wickman needs a lie down.

Shah Gets Ahead of Himself

Here Owais Shah says it's important for England not to get ahead of themselves. He then goes on to talk about the next step being winning the semi-final "whenever it is". No Owais, the next step is beating New Zealand today...

Strauss Grows a Pair

Cor. Stone the crows. England have won two one day matches in a row. And the style they have done it in. Incredible.

Now Wickman isn't writing here of the dashing batting of Shah and Colly - although they did bat out of their skins. Nor is he referring to Morgan's dashing 60 odd which had Bob Willis wetting himself in the commentary box alongside Harsha Bogle (good name). No. Wickman's fascinated by Andrew "The Steel" Strauss' refusal to give Smith a runner.

You used to have to be Australian to refuse a runner - it was in all the unofficial laws. Ranatunga famously was told by Ian Healy that you don't get a runner because you are fat. Last night Smith was knackered. On his last legs having biffed 120 odd and put in 50 overs at first slip. AB De V (the fastest man on either side) turned up to do some running for his cramped up skipper.

And boy did the crowd and the dressing room not like it when the umpires and Strauss (mostly Strauss) told Cruella to go and put his feet up. Howls from the stands. Gnashing of teeth from the dressing room. Supporters accusing Strauss of having a long twirly moustache a black cape and a tall hat. Others recalling Ponting's 2005 run out as evidence of malfeasance (despite forgetting that Pratt was on for Simon Jones who was in hospital that time).

For some reason an England skipper deciding (although it's the umpires who make the decision - check your laws) that Smith - cramped up, not injured - couldn't have a runner is a dastardly and cowardly act of a scared leader. There's a sense in which the poor, crippled South African leader was mortally wounded like some figure from a a Hollywood blockbuster or more likely the Black Knight of Monty Python fame. Apparently Smith would have won the game from there if he'd been allowed someone to run for him.

Wickman says we will never know but reckons its a pile of old bollocks. It's hardly as if the plucky Smith, with limbs hacked off by the dastardly English captain, fought valiantly against insurmountable odds. SA did not lose this game because he became dehydrated and Strauss denied him a "Ganguly" (def. get a bit tired and won't run). They lost it because they bowled worse than England and only Smith was able to bat for any length of time. Perhaps the added psychological weight of being told he couldn't have a runner also crushed the Smith psyche and he wilted. But Wickman doubts it.

Having said that Wickman is keenly anticipating Andrew's first knock in South Africa in a few weeks. Smith at first slip. Steyn 90 yards away pawing the ground like an enraged bull. "Short leg, two out on the hook, the rest of you between me and AB at gully. Let it rip Dale..."

Daniel Vettori - New Career as Mystic Dan?

In a preview for today's ICC Trophy clash between Danny V's New Zealand and the home side Daniel displayed remarkable clear sight. Asked about the game he said:

The challenge is to put a score on the board and defend it as a bowling unit

Wickman was originally attracted to this gem because of its seeming banality. Yes Danny, there's no pulling the wool over your eyes after 240+ ODIs. Then Wickman was briefly entertained by the thought of what would happen if Danny lost the toss and the Jaapies batted? "Sheeeeit boys I lost the toss. How do we go about this whole ODI thing if we have to field first? Defend a total we haven't got by not letting them get so many runs that we can't get them? Or maybe - we could give them less runs than we think we could score. Erm... right... perhaps we could try to defend our bowling score as a batting unit. Brendon, Jesse - you boys have played a few, whaddya reckon?"

But in reality Danny was merely stating a fact as he saw it. If he won the toss, he was going to have a bat. He clearly knew that the Jaapies would stick in the black whatevertheyares. Which begs an intersting question. How did he know? Is he a bit like Derren Brown planting the suggestion in the mind of Smithy? Whatever. If its a genuine talent he's got Wickman suggests we get him over to Kempton so we can spunk the club's bank balance on his prediction for the first race of next season. Genius.

[Derren Brown today in the nets at Centurion - Ed]

captain obvious

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Owais and the Winning Spirit

Wickman is contacted by a cricketing expert who reguarly travels to the subcontinent. It is a little known fact that Owais Shah writes for the Times Of India. This, you can be assured, is a new one on Wickman. When, you might think, does Mr Shah get the time? And, with all the sub-continental talent on offer, why in heaven's name do they need Owais?

No matter. Shah is clearly a genius in the mould of Arthur. Commenting on last week's seminal win at Durham against the finest one day team ever to play the game he says:

It was nice winning the final ODI against Australia after losing the first six games. Now the real challenge for us is to keep up the momentum. We are in the right frame of mind for the Champions Trophy and the win will help our cause immensely. We need to maintain the spirit of winning and the result will take care of itself.

Let's have a quick look at this shall we? First of all it was "nice". Nice? Tea is nice. Beating Australia in a one day international? Surely you should be using a swear word, even in the Times of India? Perhaps not. Perhaps it was TOTALLY AWESOME. Or A MASSIVE RELIEF. OR SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSING AFTER GETTING HAMMERED. Nice.

Now we come to momentum. Momentum is an expression of impetus. Force times speed or something like that. So exactly how much momentum do you pick up from winning one game after a six game losing streak. I'm guessing we've taken the old handbrake off and are beginning to move down the hill. We haven't even turned the key to start the engine. We're the Luca Badoer of the cricket world.

Apparently Owais and the boys are in the right frame of mind for the Champions Trophy. Mmmmm let's think about that shall we? The right frame of mind after losing four wickets in 14 balls chasing not very many against a mediocre bowling attack. Suuurrre you are. Owais old fella. You might not even get a game because your fielding is only just better than your running between the wickets. I'm guessing when you look in the mirror on match day you are practising exactly how you will look carrying the drinks tray.

Finally they need to maintain the spirit of winning. What is the spirit of winning? Rum? Vodka? In which case they need a good barman. As long as they look after it the result will take care of itself. Oh yes. As long as you have the winning spirit you don't even have to turn up and play. Maybe that's been the mistake this series. The boys had bathed in the winning spirit during the Ashes like Obelix falling into the magic potion as a baby and thought all they had to do was turn up...

[Here is Owais picking up the cash for his latest Times of India column - Ed]

Mickey Arthur - Coaching Genius

One day in to our STBO campaign, Mickey Arthur has come out with an absolute humdinger.

Over at cricinfo, Firdose Moonda has asked whether cricket's perennial nearly men, the Jaapies, will win the tourney.

Moonda, no fool, has identified that South Africa are at home in this tournament. And this is not wasted on Arthur either. Nosiree.

"We are extremely comfortable with the two venues the tournament will be played at (Supersport Park, Centurion and The Wanderers, Johannesburg)," said Arthur. "We've had some good results at both stadiums in the past and we receive lots of local support there as well."

Let's look into this shall we? First: they are extremely comfortable with the venues. No. Really? You don't say. Is he hinting that if they had picked, let's say, Lords or the MCG there might be slightly less of an advantage? He continues mentioning that they have had some good results there. You'd hope so. Given they will have played more games there than any other side and, Wickman's guessing, some of the players may even play for clubs that use these grounds they would have, from time to time, scraped a couple of wins. Finally, and this is where Arthur is simply head and shoulders above his coaching rivals, he identifies that they receive "lots of local support there as well".

Wickman is in awe - AWE of his intellect. This makes Buchanan's use of Sun Tzu pale into insignificance and Fletcher's Forward Press look like just another trigger movement.

[Here's Mickey about to deliver a strategic gem - Ed]

Ashes turned to Booze cruise?

Andrew Flintoff's "update" to his autobiography has left Wickman Junior in a state of bemusement. Firstly, just going off the bit for a sec...Wickman Junior loves the fact that sports people (usually) can just add to their autobiographies as they go along. That David Beckham has about six means that we can probably expect more from Freddie in future. I can see him now penning chapters about his time for the New South Wales Blues one-day side, appearing in the Hong Kong Super 8s, and about how difficult it was to tell his kids about the "corridor of uncertainty"....but I digress.

Speaking about the 2006-07 Ashes tour, Flintoff said: "I found myself questioning my own ability and I was questioning the team", and also, "It didn't matter we were losing heavily, it didn't matter that the team seemed to be breaking into factions and it didn't matter that I was finding it hard to hold them together."

Wickman Junior is wondering what sort of questions Freddie was asking the team, but surely one of the questions he must have asked was: "boys, why aren't we winning? or why are we playing badly? Unlike Flintoff, Wickman Junior doesn't see these questions as bad, which he seems to be implying. But rather, surely if a team is losing, it is only right to ask why, and to "question" the team? But then it gets even more confusing. Freddie says that "it didn't matter that we were losing heavily". Hang on. So the questions weren't probably even related to how the team was performing? This is bizarre indeed. So just what was he asking? "Where can I get a good burger?" Wickman Junior is unsure, but clearly whatever it was confused the team.

Secondly, this "factions" business seems to be rearing its head again. Wickman Junior doesn't understand this. Was there a left-handed faction? A select band of guys who didn't drink? Maybe people who liked wearing high pants? If this was the case, it's not surprising Freddie was finding it difficult to hold the players together. Perhaps they should have been focusing on cricket, and that, SURELY, has to come from the top. Maybe if Freddie had questionned his team a little more, the factions would surely have come together....

More questions than answers....but let's look forward to the next installment

(attached picture: prizes given to who can guess which faction KP is in) Wickman Junior

Stating the Bleedin' Obvious

Wickman and Wickman Junior from time to time put aside the cares and worries of everyday industry and discuss the beautiful game during working hours. Recently talk has turned to the platitidinous (here's a handy link Delboy) nature of many cricket related interviews.

With pages to cover and interview slots to fill, the modern cricketer needs to work hard on his or her pre and post match game. Obviously this duty falls particularly hard on the skipper of any xi and they are bound to be caught out in this form of the game more often than other players. Cooky though is vulnerable to the pre-match good lenghth (500 word) interview in the Metro and Colly can make his batting in the real form of the game look like a Yuvraj whirlwind in comparison to him grinding out a post match broadcast slot.

To give them something to do during the long winter ahead W and WJr will bring to you the best of these bon mots - starting with a perfect example from the England captain which sums up the struggle. Commenting on the recent 1-6 win against the Australians and previewing our chances in the ICC Trophy Captain Fantastic said: "We need to be honest and not settle for mediocrity".

Wickman was disturbed by this. There's no doubt some of England's one day cricket in this most recent series has been mediocre. Boy has it been mediocre. But who has been settling for it? The Coach? James Anderson? Owais Shah? That the England team now needs to be honest and stop settling for it is very unsettling indeed.

Wickman particularly likes this piece of utter banality because it is, in itself, a completely mediocre comment too. So it's the perfect start to our Winter campaign. Feel free to email with your favourites...

Name the One Day Squad

When we aren't playing league cricket (Sunday and Wednesday) what should we be called? There are moves afoot to consider entering a special one day league next year (find out more at the AGM) and we might, perhaps, go all 2010 and have coloured kit. Nice.

So what should we be called? We can hardly go out as The Hamptons (unfortunate rhyming slang connotations). The Royals? The Stags? The Basils? Leave your views here...

[It was recently suggested that we were a "cockney" team by an oppo - so maybe here's an idea for our strip - Ed]

No more excuses for One Day debacle

Wickman was amused to hear Andrew Strauss has finally not offering any excuses for the execrable performances in this one day series.

Wickman has always been a big fan of inventive excuses. The Dog ate my homework was always a favourite alongside the classic "food poisoning" which always mysteriously clears up so that a returning employee can be on the beers on a Wednesday evening.

Wickman has noticed that the unfairer sex have advantages in the illness excuse making game. If a young lady texts in and says she's a little bit Tom and Dick and can't come in today you can GUARANTEE that the following day she will turn up looking like the Bride of Dracula or Lilleth from Frasier because she will deliberately not wear make up. So wan, so sickly does this make her look that you are fooled into thinking she's had a brain embolism and has staggered in off her death bed just to make your business profitable. The reality is she's probably been sporting enough war paint to cover a Native American tribe for months just so that when she pulls this sickie it looks effective.

It's hardly as if Andrew Strauss can turn up to the last game of the one day series without his make up on. Or rather if he does we will know that he's preparing to take a sickie somewhere down the line. And frankly what excuses has he got? The two best one day players in the country are injured?

It seems to Wickman that the selectors are in a terrible mess here and if Straussy needs an excuse he should blame the selectors. They seem to have got in a mess with the 50 over stuff because they aren't sure of the Test side and 2020 has turned their heads. Since when is Matt Prior an international No4? Forgive Wickman but surely you would want someone in that position (and number 3) who you thought was more likely than anyone else in the team to able to score a one day ton? Where did all the Test players go? Why is Trotty a test player, but not a 50 overs man? Why when every successful one day side has an explosive opener at the top of the order do we have pedestrians?

Wickman thinks its time to go back to first principles. Pick your best 12 cricketers and leave one out depending on the conditions. If you have a truly slow Boycottesque test opener perhaps leave them to get on with something else but otherwise? Pick a proper cricketer every time in this form of the game.

Club dinner - NEW DATE

The club dinner will now be held on Saturday 5th December from 7pm. Tickets will be available from club captains and Dom.

Drinks Reception

3 course Dinner

End of season awards

Music from the Wick's own "Let's get Science"

Silent Auction

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