Great opportunity for the Wick!

Mr. Paul Ralph (who the hell is this? Wickman has never heard of you!) Manager Internal Audit/- Foreign Remittance Dept, Union Bank of Nigeria Plc, (oh oh...) Victoria Island , Lagos .

Attention: Sir/Madam, (a bit impersonal, don't you think?)

I sourced your email from a human resource profile database (what the... someone has put Wickman into a database? Who would want to potentially employ a fictional mediocre cricket blogger?) in the chamber (what chamber???) , my name is Mr. Paul Ralph' an account officer to late Mr. William Bryant from America who is an oil merchant Agent (whassat? An oil merchant agent?) here in Nigeria , a well known Philanthropist (he collected stamps?) before he died. He made a Will stating that $13.2M(Thirteen million, two hundred thousand U.S. dollars only) should be given to an citizen of our choice overseas (WOW! This geezer must have been LOADED. Do you think it was family money? Must have been. No oil merchant agent earns that much. How can I become an oil merchant agent if that's how much they DO earn? Do a bit for a couple of years, retire to the Wick balcony. Job's a good'un)

We have searched long for a reliable beneficiary still now that a random draw was made and your e-mail address has been chosen as the beneficiary to this Will (ohmygosh. unbeblooodylievable. This is amazing news! $13.2million! Wickman must check the exchange rate. MOTHERF... that's... wait... that's £6.7million. Wickman's rich, rich I tell you!) I am particularly interested in securing this money from the Bank because they have issued a notice instructing me been the account officer (Paul mate... I know you are excited but no point mangling the language... take some time... or is that it? The deadline's so close you simply don't have time to spell check it! Quick, quick what do I do?) to produce the beneficiary of this Will within two weeks or else the money will be credited to the Government treasury as per law here (arggggghhh nooooooooooo! Give me a number, fast!)

It is my utmost desire to execute the Will of my late client Mr. William Bryant since he is no more alive, both wife Thelma Bryant, and daughter Sheryl Bryant (eh? is there a daughter too? Now that would be a coup. Not only pick up this lottery prize, but shark the daughter. If he's leaving $13.2million to a random punter like Wickman he must have left her a stack! *slicks down hair, combs beard, sprays deodorant into boxer shorts, freshens breath*).

Please for more details concerning him and how he died, you can visit this website: www.cnn.com/2000/US/02/01/alaska.airlines.list/ (poor bastard! whatawaytogo! Dowwwwnnnnnn!) If you are interested, you are required to contact me immediately to start the documentation process with the help of a legal practitioner. and i need your information such as this

1.full name Wickman 2.phone and fax number c/o The Lofting Suite, Hampton Wick Royal etc etc 3.your age and current occupation ahem 35. Blogger and amateur cricketer

I urge you to contact me immediately (I'm on it, I'm on it) for further details bearing in mind that the Bank has given us a date limit, Please act fast.

Contact me through my private E-mail : paul_ralph57@yahoo.es I await your urgent response.

Mr. Paul Ralph Union Bank of Nigeria Plc.

Right - Wickman's getting on it NOW!!! This is a goldmine!!! Oh happy day...