During the last Ashes Tour (Wickman thinks) there was a beach cricket tournament held in Oz. Think “Masters Football” and apply to cricket on a beach. Old gits with pot bellies looking unathletic and destroying your memories of how good they were.
Wickman saw the Windies, Oz and England last night late. He had Skyplussed it from a few weeks ago thinking “this will do me fine one evening after the missus has gone to bed. Beach cricket sounds like a good lark”.
How wrong Wickman was.
They roll a big plastic matting wicket out to play on. The boundaries are small. Run ups are minimal. Everyone without exception tries to get their front leg out of the way and smash the ball into the sea. All right, Wickman can hear you say, so far, so good! What’s wrong with that?
The concept, gentlemen, is like a genius version of club day. Boundaries aplenty and no respite for the bowlers.
However, the idiots have ruined it by miking up just about everyone.
And here’s the big question for you. Name one English speaking Test match or one day cricketer who has left cricket and gone on to have a successful career in stand-up comedy. Struggling? Me too. So some commentators (and not a top line up, not even Bob The Yawn Willis) are up in the box and they spend the whole time trying to encourage lively banter with those in the middle.
We discover, gentle reader, that Australian legends Dennis Lillee and AB couldn’t even write jokes for crackers. Damien Fleming – well he’s at least lively. Mark Waugh might be a laugh if he had a couple of lagers down him. Goochie? With that squeaky voice? Goughy? All right I suppose…
And when did you EVER see a great West Indian player even give a post match interview? Have you ever heard Curtley Ambrose speak? Wickman thought not. Dire television. Absolutely abominable. Wickman actually went to bed earlyish to escape it.
Nope this is a disaster of massive proportions designed to keep ex test players who don’t have lucrative media careers doin a bit in the Australian summer. Shun it, gentlemen, shun it. Although it does give Wickman an idea for club day…
Hampton Wick Royal Cricket Club * 1863 - 2013 * 150 Glorious Seasons
Wednesday 31 October 2007
Beach Cricket sends Wickman to sleep
During the last Ashes Tour (Wickman thinks) there was a beach cricket tournament held in Oz. Think “Masters Football” and apply to cricket on a beach. Old gits with pot bellies looking unathletic and destroying your memories of how good they were.
Wickman saw the Windies, Oz and England last night late. He had Skyplussed it from a few weeks ago thinking “this will do me fine one evening after the missus has gone to bed. Beach cricket sounds like a good lark”.
How wrong Wickman was.
They roll a big plastic matting wicket out to play on. The boundaries are small. Run ups are minimal. Everyone without exception tries to get their front leg out of the way and smash the ball into the sea. All right, Wickman can hear you say, so far, so good! What’s wrong with that?
The concept, gentlemen, is like a genius version of club day. Boundaries aplenty and no respite for the bowlers.
However, the idiots have ruined it by miking up just about everyone.
And here’s the big question for you. Name one English speaking Test match or one day cricketer who has left cricket and gone on to have a successful career in stand-up comedy. Struggling? Me too. So some commentators (and not a top line up, not even Bob The Yawn Willis) are up in the box and they spend the whole time trying to encourage lively banter with those in the middle.
We discover, gentle reader, that Australian legends Dennis Lillee and AB couldn’t even write jokes for crackers. Damien Fleming – well he’s at least lively. Mark Waugh might be a laugh if he had a couple of lagers down him. Goochie? With that squeaky voice? Goughy? All right I suppose…
And when did you EVER see a great West Indian player even give a post match interview? Have you ever heard Curtley Ambrose speak? Wickman thought not. Dire television. Absolutely abominable. Wickman actually went to bed earlyish to escape it.
Nope this is a disaster of massive proportions designed to keep ex test players who don’t have lucrative media careers doin a bit in the Australian summer. Shun it, gentlemen, shun it. Although it does give Wickman an idea for club day…
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