Twas the night before...

So here Wickman finds himself. Nervous for the 2s. There will be some people playing tomorrow who will never have been in a game where the outcome means promotion or not before.

When the newspapers write about this stuff what they never point out is that its not just about the 11 players that have the privilege of actually playing the game that could decide whether it's a good season, an average season or a game that makes no difference one way or another.

Tomorrow 11 players get to enjoy (hopefully, oh hopefully) a moment that they will never forget. Sealing promotion to the next division up.

But over the course of the season 33 players have made a material contribution to the promotion push. David Fudge, Nick Clark, Matthew Goulborn, Paul Sayce, Mike Lofting, Mike Forbes, Charlie High, Alex Wright, Paul Hibberd, Ian Taylorson, Mustafa Billy Noor, Nevil Tideswell, David Ford, Ted Goodwin, Tom Donnelly, Andrew Moore, Copeland Mi, Kirk Laight, Derek Soppitt, Mark Mackie, Shaun Whinney, Alex Jackson, Ian Greenwood, Richard Cole, Derek Nicholas, James Cameron, Adam Crane, Richard Ewen, John Hill, Nick Doddy, Jack Marfleet and Dominic Lown.

One is missing from this list. A small prize if you email Wickman with the name of the individual who played 2s but doesn't make it onto PlayCricket...

So those who are playing tomorrow - there are 22 people behind you who want to share in a good result tomorrow night and who expect you to deliver.

Do it for yourselves and then tell them you did it for them... that's cricket...

Merrow's double title push

Merrow will be watching the Old Hamptonians result only slightly less keenly than Wickman. A club going places, Merrow's 1s have won 1stxi Division II this year and their 2s currently lie 12 points behind The Wick in 2ndxi Division II.

The 2s all enjoyed our half game with Merrow this year (if you remember it was ended by a deluge). They play the game the way we do, with a bit of banter and chirp rather than the homicidal mania of Old Sluts or the 'oh my god I will end it all after the game'-ness of Basilmere and checking out their website and facebook page you can see that the same buzz which has infected The Wick has got them going too.

It really shows what is necessary to get a club out of The Fullers, whichever division. Passion, commitment, enthusiasm and an infectious desire to improve. Oh and they can play cricket too, obviously. It's also Merrow's 150th anniversary this year. What a tribute to the club that they've revitalised the cricket side in this auspicious year...

In line with the elephant trap scenarios, they could even be champions of both divisions if we slip up. They are at home to Ewhurst, so, weather permitting, you would expect them to gain 20 points against a side that has lost more games this year than the eventual champions will win. To remind you we need a minimum of 9 points to stop them.

Good luck in your game boys. And let's hope we see you next year... because if we don't one of us will have found themselves in an elephant trap...

Elephant traps

An elephant trap is, probably, a big hole in the ground which swallows big beasts up. Is there an elephant trap in store for the Wick 2s this week at Old Hamptonians? Wickman outlines some scary scenarios in the run up to the biggest game since the 1s went to Guildford needing four points at the end of last season and got... four points.

This weekend sees the culmination of the season in a fixture at Old Hamptonians. 20 points will be more than enough. 10 points will do. As will 9. 8 will get us up but might not make us champions (the rules are dull, dull, dull - must research this). 7 and 6 points would get us promoted. 5 MIGHT not (those rules again).

So how could we get 5 points or less?

Route one: Rain. Localised rain that forces an abandonment that doesn't take out Lingfield and Merrow. Look some odd shit has gone down this year. Wickman doesn't put it past the weather to intervene and do freaky things. We've had 4 games abandoned already and the rain affected the Southbank game too which would have been won had the heavens not openened. We could only get four points and miss out by one piont... ohWickman'sGodnooooooooooo....

Route two: Old Hamptonians dick on us. They are a good club with good players. They finished above us last year. Hell they could skittle us and take us down with only a few wickets lost. How that would hurt...

Route three: We only score something like 155 and then can't get them more than 5 down and they get the winning draw. It is hardening Wickman's arteries just thinking about it.

Route four: OH pile on the runs and bat us out of the game for about 3 down. We collapse under the pressure and don't get even to 180.

Hell's teeth! You don't need Stephen sodding Spielberg to get busy with the script to see that there are some really big elephant traps here.

It's not easy.

However I prefer to think that bat first we'll have enough to put 180+ on the board again and enough to take a minimum of five wickets in reply. Or enough bowling to restrict OH to a manageable total, taking 7 wickets and enough batting to take on their total.

But Saturday is going to be one hell of a game. Let's hope the rain Gods are not in a lively mood...

Catches win matches - 2s spill 1st chance at championship

HWRCC vs Haslemere 2s

HWRCC 199-5 Fudge 95*, Hibberd 39, High 30 (49.5 overs) Haslemere 134-8 No 3 bat – phenomenal innings (46 overs)

Golby, Saycey, Fudgey, Hibby, Clark (get some nicknames boys FFS!), Delboy, Jimmy C, Billy, Hilly, Lownsy

Saturday’s game against Haslemere – which promised to be a thriller after 20 overs of both innings – was ultimately a disappointment. A feisty Haslemere team gave up the chase when well set and walked away from The Wick with 3 points. It leaves the 2s requiring 9 points to win the division and 6 to gain promotion. A win away at Old Hamptonians would seal the issue outright but no one at The Wick is taking anything for granted.

Rain all week (the final burst on Friday morning) had rendered the Wick track like a sponge. Not a nice light fluffy Victoria sponge like your Grandmother used to make before she started buying the Kipling version – the one with the dusting of icing sugar, tasty strawberry jam and a layer of cream. No. This was a nasty sponge. The sort of sponge that you might use to clean the showers with. A sponge that was very wet, with a light covering of pubes and caked with the mud off the football boys’ boots.

It was a stinking toss to lose. Sadly for the future of the game, opposition skipper Hooker won it and inserted us. He wasn’t a very jolly chap, didn’t enjoy the game one bit and this was the only thing he enjoyed all day.

He opened up with two very useful youngsters - Eastment the more rapid of the two. Sayce and Goulborn – both introspective at the crease even when the sun is blazing and the track harder than the sort of army issue biscuit that Pinball eats by the hundredweight to bung up his bowels while on manoevres found going tough. Both opening bowlers put the ball on a length in the channel outside the off stump. The lack of pace, tennis ball bounce and ring field kept us so under the cosh that after 20 overs we had only assembled 25 runs. Sayce had perished driving at a tempter to find cover at shin height and Golby couldn’t clear mid-off. For the record young Eastment bowled 5-1-0-5 and Hooker Mi 6-2-0-8.

Replacing the quick young right armer who looks a fantastic prospect was a cricketer of some experience, McCally. On the hottest day for cricket since April this middle aged stager, reminiscent of Boxer from Animal Farm, bowled unchanged for literally hours and plugged and wheeled away from back of a length keeping things tighter than a gnat’s chocolate hostage delivery bay. He turned in amazing figures to start with. His first 8 overs brought 1-21. At the other end the wily Hooker, like a weathered pimp in a Marrakesh souk, procured for Haslemere the services of various young boys who danced prettily to the wickets and delivered an accurate off stump line.

It was effective. For 30 overs everyone on the field wondered where enough runs to make a game of it would come from. Hibby and Fudge assembled, through nudges, nurdles, sweeps, edges, misfields and other similarly undashing means, 25 each and gradually dragged The Wick ship from beneath the waves to the surface. Furiously baling they then cut loose and even hit some boundaries before Hibberd was removed trying to take apart McCally – frustration getting the better of him.

Clark arrived in the middle having spent more than an hour watching this. He found it hard to locate the edge of the square with the ball and grew too quickly frustrated as Fudge accumulated. He perished trying to break the shackles, bowled through the gate trying to propel the sixth ball of an over into the long grass. Oh the ignominy.

Charles High esq joined Fudge in the middle and there followed the most fluid passage of play in our innings. Fudge – seeing it like a beach ball – was manoeuvring the ball around the outfield playing all manner of outrageous sweeps. High used the long handle and together – running like the demented habitants of Fraggle Rock – Fudge and High put on more runs than a salad dodger puts on calories at a village fete tea tent. Eventually Charlie smote some big boundaries as the bowlers wilted in the oppressive heat and we passed 180 for the loss of 3 wickets at over 47 and a bit. McCally – kept on too long – bowled the rest of his overs 12-1-2-64. An amazing performance in the conditions nevertheless.

High perished and Soppitt joined Fudge at the crease to press the advantage and see if the skipper could make his second ton in three weeks. Sadly with the overs ticking by, Fudgey was forced to declare on himself five runs short to set Haslemere an equation they might fancy on what was a now dryish deck (even if it was still very slow). A special mention here for young Williams who Hooker was also forced to over bowl. Again his first spell was excellent – 8-3-1-17 but he ran into High in aggressive mood and conceded heavily late on.

Make no mistake, Fudgey’s innings was a masterpiece in the conditions. To reach 95 and only score six 4s shows how hard he had to work. It was the stand out performance of the day. Even if we had bowled the oppo out and someone had taken 6 for it would still have stood out like Camilla at Diana remembrance service.

Haslemere’s in fielders had a lot to say for themselves which is always pleasant. It started as early as over 5 – not in time honoured fashion with a dispute over an LBW – but when Clark wided Eastment. Yawn, yawn, yawn. No names, no pack drill as they say, but one of the comments (when Hilly felt unable to give a run out decision because he couldn’t see whether the keeper had removed the bails with the ball in his gloves) that we must be top of the league due to cheating was a bit off beam. We’re top of the league because we can recover from 20-2 after fifteen overs and 31-2 after twenty overs to post 199-5.

Tea. DBW. Salami!!! 7.

With 46 overs to bowl out the opposition and Haslemere only needing to score at 3.98 the game was neatly poised. Nice tidy equation. Even a relatively good chase – getting to 183 – would have given them the winning draw.

The top six made a battle of it. Williams, who batted at 3, impressed us all. I can’t give too many actual details because we were unable to copy out the book before Haslemere left at the end of the game and they didn’t put up the individual scores - so we’ll have to wait for Play Cricket. But he only gave one chance (which was spurned) in a lengthy stay at the crease and he, more than any other, guided Haslemere to their draw.

But why, when they had reached a good, solid, base (approximately 100 for 4) with plenty of overs to go, did Haslemere shut up shop? Hooker first sent in Hooker junior and then an entertaining biker from the North East to defy us before he came to the wicket at 9. We know he can play because he’s opened the batting against the Wick in the past. He proceeded to cream the bowlers around when he eventually arrived. But by then the chase had been turned down and we bowled fifteen overs towards the end in the pursuit of five wickets with no one on the Haslemere side looking to get the ball off the square. McCally – who by this time must have been hoping to be putting his feet up – defied the last two overs successfully.

It’s the old story. Win the toss and bat for a draw. Why bother? Williams, (and the guy with a red stripe in his hair – no, not the tramp’s beer of choice) and the gritty Sturt who could have guided them home had Hibby not conned him with the slowest, slow bouncer ever, deserved a thrilling victory not a bore draw.

We’ll say no more of it.

Another good performance stuttered in the field despite the manful efforts of the bowlers. Previous oppositions who have given Barnacles a run for their money have trained the boys to bowl at the stumps more often than not. In the final analysis we have fallen two wickets short again and perhaps this week it was the lack of pace in the pitch and three spilled catches (Clark standing up and two others in the ring) that cost us valuable time. Once again any runs beyond 180 were superfluous and the margin of draw was more than 50 runs. There’s got to be something wrong.

Perhaps next year the Fullers people should increase the number of points for a winning draw as long as the batting first skipper declares at 47.5 overs. This wouldn’t encourage anyone batting second to have more of a go. But it would reward teams that lost the toss (let’s face it EVERYONE sticks the oppo in apart from Effingham) for dominating until the side batting second loses their cojones.

Wonderful news arrived from Merrow. Old Tenisonians had been unable to get a side out! Brilliant! Merrow could probably have expected to hammer both sides (Merrow are good cricketers and we have no beef with them) but they may well go up at the expense of us or Lingfield having won fewer games and lost more.

Odd… but somehow very 2007 given the extraordinary season we've all had.

200 up - Wickman promises to grind out more

Morning Wick fans. This is the 200th post on Royal Cricket. Wickman gets a half volley on his legs, eases it away along the ground to mid-wicket and canters through for a single to bring up the milestone. He raises his bat. He congratulates GAAR, Bish and the Student for keeping him company at the other end. He wipes down his keyboard (sorry sweating brow) and replaces his helmet.

Will he try to thrash the next couple of balls for boundaries before holing out in the deep? No, like a Brian Lara innings against England he'll be trying to grind out a big score...

Les Bieres du Monde - Saturday 8pm @ The Wick

This strange looking thing on the left is a beer. It's brewed by those whacky Septics at Samuel Adams brewery. A website says that it retails for $100 per 24 ounce bottle. Wickman is an expert in such matters and can tell you that 24 ounces US is about 1.25 UK pints. You don't want to get into a round of those babies late on Saturday night... while it is a brain mangling 25% alcohol there are cheaper ways to ming. Wickman remembers White Lightening was the modus operandi of the outside drinking enthusiast a while back and he's always believed in taking expert advice.

Saturday evening sees the return to the Wick of one of the most liver poundingly good events of the year - Beers of the World. The idea is you buy SIX or more beers from anywhere in the world (geddit) and donate them to the Wick bar. This is your entry ticket. You then buy back any of the beer that has been donated for £2 a pop. This raises money for The Wick. Last year Hibby turned up with four Carling Premier. Now, whilst this was indubitably a light refreshing lager, with a hint of gas and a light hoppy aroma, it wasn't very interesting. It still got drunk of course but it would be good to see a bit of ingenuity...

No doubt we'll get around to laying on some food of some description for a small additional price and there will be music (resident DJ Geniussound) and frolics including Beersoftheworldpong and Corona Darts. Whisper who dares but Saturday could be a very big night out.

All are welcome so spread the word.

Wick to host League Cup Final

Our own Wick is to host the League Cup Final between holders Valley End (our conquerors in the first round) and Olinda Vandals, currently staring down the barrell of relegation. This happens on Wednesday. On Tuesday evening we need to clear up the club a little (move Monkey's kit out of the slurry pit in the corner of the Home dressing room) and make the bar look hospitable. If you fancy netting and helping out, the committee would appreciate a hand.

HWRCC vs Effingham 2xi (a) Match Report

HWRCC won the toss
Effingham 179-8 (52 overs) Soppitt 3-31, Hibberd 3-38
HWRCC 65-3 (19.3 overs) Hibberd 45*
Table
Abandoned

Another abandoned game – our fourth – descended into acrimony and accusations of sharp practice against Clark and Fudge. Effingham batted first and spent 38 overs under the cosh before cutting loose as the rain began and soaked the ball. The rain continued through tea. The Wick went out to bat, braving an initially skidding pitch. But the rain gradually increased in intensity over the next 90 minutes, the outfield became so wet that the ball would not go to the boundary, footing became at best precarious for all and eventually Clark, at square leg, felt the conditions were no longer playable.

There were protestations from the opposition captain and Hibberd, at least, was happy to stay out there. But then he was batting beautifully, the best on display from either side, and was a few away from a fifty. However – and this is a big however – there was no way we should have been playing. In no other summer other than this would you consider staying out that long in conditions which were unplayable.

Make no mistake this was no “drying wicket” in the old style, the sorts you hear that deadly Derek Underwood would bowl England to victory on. This was a wicket which was taking on more and more water. To say that the ball was not coming on would be an understatement. The opposition “leggy” confessed he was simply tossing it up and watching to see what the pitch would do. It alternated between slightly sticking in the surface and skating on.

And this, to those who did not understand the decision to come off, was where the crux lay. This was not a wicket which started dry for us, got wet, and then started to dry out. This was a wicket that started wet, became wetter and was becoming less playable by the moment. When the rain increased in intensity then so did any chance of us going through to the 38 overs that we would have to bat.

Which was giving a growing advantage to Effingham. They’d already decided to ring the boundary whenever Hibby was on strike (ironically he placed the ball better and scored more boundaries with this defensive field set, but the pattern was being established). They were fairly confident that unless the other bats went aerial and flat the most they would concede would be a two.

What so riled the opposition skipper was the timing of Clark’s decision. Coincidentally as far as Clark was concerned and controversially as far as opposkip was concerned we had received 19.3 overs which meant we were half an over short of a potential result. Perhaps he knew this. Perhaps he knew we were fractionally behind the rate? Clark did not (and actually didn’t understand the rules about 20 overs thinking an abandonment was an abandonment) and had decided that he should take the players off because the conditions were no longer playable and certainly not fair.

Accusations that Clark was cheating were way beyond the mark and unacceptable. But then they summed up the way that the opposition skipper played the game. Every single thing he did all day smacked of casual manipulation. He included a player – batting down the order but who scored a very competent and muscular 41 not out – the difference between a poor innings for Effingham and a decent target of 179 – who had a flight to catch. He left 10 or so overs into our reply. A substitute arrived at about 6 o’clock. This, of course, was the first mention of the player leaving or a substitute being introduced. He was surprised and vocally indignant when we didn’t allow the sub onto the field.

On the field he attempted to influence the umpires despite the umpires being members of our team rather than people who were being paid or who had volunteered. When Del didn’t give Clark LBW an orchestrated campaign of complaining and accusations of cheating began. Six of one and half a dozen of the other you might argue. But your correspondent thinks not. Your correspondent thinks this was a very shrewd character playing the laws to their limit of elasticity and exploiting the lack of umpires to try to heist the game. His frankly hysterical attempts at sledging from the boundary were stupid – referring to the fitness or lack of it of Charlie when he himself was about as mobile as a caravan in quicksand.

Call it sharp practice or experience but clearly we were being done over to a plan. Keep us out there long enough to get a legitimate game on the go and then when would we be allowed to come off? When we were ahead of the run rate? When he decided fielding conditions were unsafe or that the run ups? When he’d worked out they were safely ahead on run rate?

On to happier topics. Tom Robinson’s debut for the twos was a revelation. Hard work in winter nets and overs under the belt for the 3s have turned Tom into a very good prospect for the club. He bowled his 7 overs off the reel and for less than 10 runs. The ball swung away as his stock delivery beating the bat regularly and he also brought one or two back too to keep both the openers guessing. This was a mature performance from a very promising cricketer.

John Hill was no less impressive. 13-4-19-1 was a great return on what started as a good pitch to bat on. Opener Richardson became increasingly frustrated to the point that he tried to slog sweep Hill from outside off stump. Eventually it all became too much for him and he aimed a wild yahoo. The edge sped high to Clark’s right and a one handed catch was made to look easy.

Hibberd followed up his 20-20 hattrick with a 3 for, his slower ball deceiving a couple of bats. Soppitt, until the rain came, bowled with real control removing two of the top four in combination with Clark behind the stumps. Jimmy C and Kirky bowled good change spells, Kirky conning a muscular gentleman of limited footwork to pad up to one that would have removed at least two of the stumps.

The fielding was excellent in the main although there were too many byes. A worrying inability to catch is beginning to dog the team’s performances though. As last week where a spilled effort cost us five overs, three shelled this week probably cost us 50 runs and the ability to push for victory before the rain changed from barely miserable to a relentless downpour.

This was a good performance again from the Wick. It was a shame that the conditions were as they were allowing Effingham first to get out of gaol from about 100 for 6 to 179-8 and then to apply undue pressure and influence when they were in the filed.

On a brighter note this wettest of all seasons is approaching an exciting climax for the 2s. A win against Hazlemere next week would given us the championship and promotion. Anything less would take us into a nerve shredding final weekend if Lingfield and Merrow both win.

Old Suttonians did Merrow a huge favour this weekend by conceding their fixture. If I were in Lingfield’s shoes (now 3rd after being rained off at home to Merstham) I’d be spitting feathers. Good old Old Suttonians. Exactly what the Fullers Division 2 is all about eh?

Teams for Saturday vs Effingham

Ah the late Summer. After weeks of rain, the sun comes out and availability is strangely a problem this week. Unfortunately we cannot offer a 3s fixture on Saturday as resources are stretched tighter than a frog who's got his tongue stuck to a glacier.

Thanks to Nathan, Keith, Lloydy, Leggsy, Zo, Splinter and Conor for making yourselves available. Goldy will be in touch to see if you would like a game on Sunday as recompense.

1xi vs EFFINGHAM(Home)
Davies ©
Jones +
Cole
Raza
Jackson
Mackie
Stephens
Bishop
Tughral
Whinny
Ford

12:30 – Meet
13:00 – Start

2xi vs EFFINGHAM(Away)
Fudge*
Clark +
Wright
Doddy
Hibberd
High
Cameron
Soppitt
Robinson
Hill
Laight

11:15 – Meet @ the WICK
13:30 - Start

Good luck to both teams.

See you down the Wick!

Caption Competition

The Indian players are distressed to hear that a Porsche Carrera has been stolen from the players' car park

Ditton's over rate - Keyboard Warriors

Long Ditton accuse HWRCC of sour grapes on Play Cricket after not being able to dismiss their 2s in 48 overs. Wickman begs to differ. The game kicked off at 1.30pm on Saturday and Ditton were behind the rate by 2 overs an hour from the off. Ditton's openers weren't particularly prompt after the interval either. No one expects a team bowling first to give themselves extra overs to bat through. We're not naive. Oh no. What got Wickman's goat (tied it up and rodgered it) was that Wickman needed to be home by 9pm. By the time the game ended and he was showered, coiffured and appropriately fragranced, there was only time to Gregory a couple of warm pints of Nipples' and Doc's jugs and then to brave the drive and head off. The Wick's a dangerous place when the Sun goes down - it's almost as if The Lost Boys was based on it. Before you know it you'll be up all night and rushing home to beat the dawn. So your lamentable over rate was lamented for reasons you failed to understand boys. We should have fired you out in 48 overs. See the match report. But what's unforgivable is the lost drinking time...

Ask Wickman - Can you buy experience?

Wickman is contacted by a member deeply irritated by his slightly downbeat assessment of Saturday's Ditton encounter. With hindsight perhaps Wickman did not extol the virtues of the two standout performances enough. Fudgey's ton was worthy of greater praise. It was well paced, he needed to overcome some nagging bowling, to get to grips with a two paced Wick pitch, hang tight for 38 overs rather than 38 minutes and, let's face it, you don't get one every week. Even Outerbridge didn't manage that. Doc's Michelle was quality. To find himself on a hat-trick for the second time this season was good going. Here was a man that knows how to bowl at the stumps and make the ball respond to his whim. He almost bowled us to a very good win on a good batting track. You can't buy experience. Well you can, but not here. Soho perhaps. And there are escort services Wickman understands. Here's someone with experience you might be able to buy. Mom - on balance - was Fudgey's on this occasion.

Ditton 2s rearguard staves off heavy defeat

HWRCC 2nd xi vs Long Ditton CC 2nd xi (h)

Sayce, Fudge*, GingangGoldyGoldyGoldyGoldywhat’supginggangGold?, Hibberd, Clark+, High, Soppitt, Cameron, Greenwood, Hill, Lown

Long Ditton won the toss and decided to field

HWRCC 229-8 47.5 overs. Fudge 100, Hibberd 30
Long Ditton 132-9 48 overs Greenwood 5-25

They say fortune favours the brave. HWRCC were all bluster with the bat on Saturday but couldn’t quite boss the game with ball in hand. In the event a declaration that arrived at the right time technically was a wasteful indulgence on a day when the “margin of draw” was 97 runs.

Credit is due to Long Ditton who are the first team to get a draw against the 2s without the assistance of the rain. Heck this is the first 95 over game the 2s have played this year. That Long Ditton didn’t even get close to the winning draw, and only picked up four points in total, shows the relative inequity in the performances and suggests that the rules are wrong somewhere. There’s no value at all to Long Ditton’s valiant rearguard action. The rules don’t reward them for hanging on.

The Wick’s reward was only 2 points for dominating the match and 8 bonus points for doing everything except take that final wicket, absurdly imbued with 10 points all of its own. Ten points to winkle out a batsman with enough technique to realise that all he has to do is to not do anything aggressive and his team won’t have been beaten…

All the risk is piled on to the skipper who wants to win. For the skipper who can’t win because he does not have the resources, there’s no thought of batting first because if his side isn’t up to it, he doesn’t have to attack at any point in the game. He just sits back and preys on the need of the oppo skipper to win the game. Plus its more embarrassing to get dicked out for 132 looking for runs than it is to grind out 132 batting second blocking it out and squeezing boundaries off edges.

With respect to Long Ditton’s young team and skipper Knight who did so much to give us a good game, 230 runs were far too many. This is a strange time of year though. Teams that have done very little during the season to date are suddenly racking up 250+ and reducing teams to less than 100. Not very dignified to top the table and get taken apart. Elsewhere teams that have flirted with the top of the league are suffering mid-season wobbles which would make a Weightwatcher blanch. Guildford City declared after 40 overs yesterday desperate to keep their hopes of promotion alive and had 250+ overhauled… However a bit more bravado might have given us another five overs to do the job. In the warm light of Saturday afternoon 229 didn’t look toooo indulgent…

Our innings was a thing of great beauty. Skipper Fudge decided he would pinch hit. But once out there discovered young Colt Cheema in good form and with a slingy action. At the other end, Morton, a seasoned campaigner, bowled 15 overs of miserly medium away swingers in the almost Mississippi-like swamp heat. Neither Fudge nor Sayce found runs flowing. Both had to knuckle down. And once Fudge had banished a tendency to plant his pad on off stump and whip the ball around it to long leg, he looked the real deal. Sayce, as ever, played with technical aplomb and guided and urged the ball around the park while Fudge played as authentically but with muscle and slightly tighter technique than usual. Gone were the trademark flourishes and the extra waggles of a Garcia with the yips to be replaced with bludgeoning efficiency. This was good stuff.

There’s that bit in the Dambusters movie where, when the dams are broken, the director has spliced in dodgy footage of water spurting through a breach in the Eder. If you’ve seen the film you’ll remember it. The special effects genius of the time (early 1950s) has almost drawn the water on to the film. Still, it’s an impressive gush. Something like Old Faithful blowing in Yellowstone. Something like this happened to the usually even tempered Sayce with the opening stand in the late 70s. Suddenly the Sayce head received a rush of blood so stupendous that there was nothing he could do apart from slog a left armer up into the air and into the hands of one of Ditton’s youngsters.

The obdurate Sayce was replaced by the equally obdurate Goulborn. As Goldy held up the end that Saycey had been holding up, Fudge continued to make merry, dragging the Wick through the 100 barrier and into the batting points. Gold almost partnered Fudge to his personal milestone but perished to bring Hibberd to the wicket who was in a mood much like Toad of Toad Hall on receiving a new motor car.

This coincided with a odd bit of captaincy from Knight. With Fudge clearly flagging a few short of the milestone, the Wick in search of quick runs with Hibberd looking like forty agitated ferrets tied up in a pillow case, he brought on a youngster who served up 31 runs in two overs, most of which went to Hibberd and helped Fudge to reach a well-deserved 100 – the first for the club on Saturday this year.

It was strange because Knight later brought himself on and bowled three overs of extremely serviceable off breaks which claimed High and Soppitt. Those of us inclined to cynicism wondered whether he had held himself back while the really big bullets were being fired. Those of us inclined to seek the best in human nature imagined fondly that he was trying to give all his young bowlers a game.

Bennett – who caused all the bats problems – removed Fudge who had decided to begin pinch hitting only 90 minutes late. He then dispatched an out of sorts Clark who was so off his game that he forget to wear a thigh pad and perished in time honoured Wick fashion with his brains up his arse trying to pull a short ball that, surprise, surprise you’ve only seen it a thousand times, didn’t get up from the Kingsfield end. It was a horrible shot and fully deserved its £5 price tag and accompanying death rattle. Out from the moment it hit the track and inevitably sped under a horizontal bat like a tracer bullet. There was no point in any bat throwing or tantrums. Just a need for quiet reflection.

High then seized his opportunity to partner Hibberd in the search for quick runs and peppered the area between Long on and Cow with boundary seeking guided missiles. A rapid 28 was good value in the circumstances. The rest of the middle order followed Clark’s lead, Soppitt, Cameron, Greenwood and Hill not reaching double figures with some achieving only slightly more than others. 229 had been assembled from 47.5. A good performance in most weeks, but far too many for a Ditton side shorn of a couple of its strong bats (looking at Play Cricket).

Tea. No. Not good. Sorry. Not even quantity this week. I know I was not in the best of moods, but REALLY! 6.

48 overs should have been enough to truss up Long Ditton, bundle them into a van, drive them back over their side of the Thames, drop them in a field, phone the skipper’s mum, demand a tidy ransom, pick it up using an elaborate system of false bag drops and reveal where they were before they starved. But in the event we did not make the batsmen play enough when we bowled.

It seemed that none of the usual pressure was applied and that the performance was, well, just a bit flat. Yes Doc bowled with the guile and cunning of an ancient crocodile appointed Chair of Guile at the University of the River Nile (and was well rewarded in his first spell). Yes Hill made the ball talk, first in a high falsetto and then in a rich baritone, sometimes singing like Hibby, at other times swearing like a navvy with his thumb hit by a hammer. But too much hared harmlessly down the leg side or sailed wide of the off stump. We admired the shape. We were impressed by the areas (even when they weren’t) and we congratulated those two and Lownsy on the “wheels”.

At times it was too good. But in a game when we didn’t take a slip catch and the only edge behind was off a wild yahoo reminiscent of Saycey’s earlier moment, more needed to threaten the stumps. A lesson must be learned here. You need to make batsmen play. Doc deserved his five for and largely did just that. Hilly did get curl and a couple of wickets. But he also tested Clark to destruction who felt a kinship with Matt Prior that went beyond a tendency to shout a lot and slog runs. At least there wasn’t a Tendulkar to drop.

Lownsy also found the right line and, agony of agonies, took the final wicket only to be told he had overstepped. In between Hibby’s fire ball was discovered to be more Nov 5 sparkler than wrecker of street fighting video game characters and Fudgey’s occasional offspin would have been meat and drink to Barry Bonds the home run record hero of last week being as it was mostly full tosses. One of them did for Knight who threatened to make a big score against us as he slapped it in the general direction of Lownsy. Lownsy pulled off a simply stunning one handed catch to a ball that looked to be past him, dropping rapidly and generally not in an arc that Dom should have been able to intercept. But he did and it brought a win sharply into focus for us. How could we fail when such a stunner had been taken?

Fail we did. The last pair survived 36 balls and deserved their moment of quiet satisfaction at denying us a win. It felt like a sloppy performance. It felt like we weren’t penetrative. And maybe some quality in the pitch was missing to make Del so eminently playable on a day when there seemed to be enough turn and bounce for us to expect another 3 for 3 or similar. We drew by 97 runs which, if this were a straight overs format, would be a massacre any bit as humiliating as Custer’s last stand. But it isn’t and Knight, Bennett and Cheema amongst others can look back with some satisfaction on a job well done.

And, as Forrest Gump says, “that’s all I’m gonna say about that”. Scorecard League Table

Ask Wickman - Your letters answered

Wickman receives the following email:

Dear Wickman
I am still sick to the tits of having to pay Duck Tax this season. Do you have a photo that would cheer me up?

Wickman replies: I recently received this picture which I hope will help.

Wednesday xi vs BBC - by Matty

Wait all week for a report, then two come along... here's the perfect opportunity to see how Wick captains, old and young, view the same game!

Wednesday match report v BBC Sport

The BBC Sport CC massive rolled The Wick way last Wednesday to contribute to what was a very fine game of cricket enjoyed by all. The Bushy Park Massive was out in its resplendent glory and the Star upon which our home planet orbits was as bright and hot as it has ever been.

A 40 over game, Sisso promptly called correctly and decided to bat bat bat. A wise choice as he and Amore tucked in to some decent but ultimately harmless bowling. The fielding whilst enthusiastic was hindered by Monty Panesaritis as despite what the name sheet may suggest, the athletic prowess of a number of fielders fell short of the qualifying standard. Amore’s departure was followed closely by the returning McCarthy, who promptly dollied a slow full toss straight back at the bowler. He commented post game that he knew exactly what he wanted to do, it's just his body wasn’t up to the challenge and followed behind thus turning an off drive into an on-swipe. Experience.

Adamson scored a few before the Wednesday specialist Mr Crane joined and brought some hockey prowess to proceedings. He slugged a very powerful 37. Sisso had in the meantime tired somewhat following a typically uncompromising attacking start. He scored just shy of 50.

The Saturday 1s pair of Mackie and Davies were then at the crease, inevitably receiving the sledge from the opposition. Davies decided he was here for a good time, but not necessarily a long time. Having cleared the long on boundary, he then middled another vertically. In contrast Mackie showed all how it should be done. He hudged,(he what? Ed) hussled and at times mowed his way to a classy 50*, ably assisted by Dutchy (playing at Old Paulines… SPIT!), leaving a total of 217-6 from 40 overs.

DBW teas. Well all I will say is I filled my boots.

Sisso had commented on the similarity between this and the 2006 fixture, with the Wick being confident having scored over 200, only to be pegged back by a decent couple of BBC bats, and then once the tail began the game was over, and BBC Sport collapsed to c160. The story was similar this time.

The opening pair were decent. Whinny bowled erratically and they took advantage, whilst Joey’s express pace meant gully and behind square were favourite areas. The score was progressing nicely, before MC and Davies came on to slow things down. Davies started the rot with a lovely Yorker, before MC bowled a beautiful lollipop, which bamboozled the bat and bowling him through the gate. Credit to Joey for some typical sledging as well.

Mackie then had a go and found swing where others had failed, picking up 3 wickets in 4 overs, including a pearler to dismiss the #4 who had some classy shots. Crane also found some decent areas, being rewarded with 2 wickets of his own. Whinny returned towards the end to mop up the tail, and coupled with some run outs, left Joey as the only wicketless bowler, although it's fair to say he bowled with somewhat ‘attacking’ fields.

MOM – Mackie. Excellent innings and 3 wickets.
Prat of match – I would say McCarthey, but he fielded excellently at gully, so I’ll give it to Joey, despite his bowling and diving catch. Harsh but fair.

Wednesday xi vs BBC - by Bobby

It was a beautiful day and the toss was won. It took all of half a millisecond to decide on batting first. I hardly even considered that was a 40 over game and we needed five bowlers...

The old partnership of Sisso and Mooray was reunited and runs flowed... amazingly a number of threes were run and several boundaries struck and 50 was posted in even time. There weren't that many singles funnily enough! It wasn't until the oppo took pace off the ball that Mooray was undone by sweeping to square leg for 28.

McCarthy strode to the wicket and unfortunately struck a full toss back to the same pace-off bowler before he had settled. Adam Crane however was the answer as he bludgeoned Mr Lack of Pace for several brutal fours... much to the skippers relief I might say as was very tired by then on hot day. Drinks were taken after 20 at 97 - 2, so Wick in very fine position. Somebody helpfully put 44 on board for myself, so obviously went down the track first ball after drinks break to get to 50 quickly... 97 - 3! Oops.

Things then didn't go according to plan as Cransey hit to square leg when in twenties, Adamson was stumped after hitting three boundaries and Matty Davies struck a nice three and six and then hit one up in the air... 140 - 6 now of some concern with last week's pratt of the match and Dutchy Holland in residence!

Luckily we had got down to the boys who can run, so all of a sudden the Wick started taking a run a ball, which was simply something none of the experienced players even considered! I am not sure if Cransey is experienced, but he certainly doesn't run!!! Obviously old before his time, or rather he smites it miles instead!!! There were a few run out scares, but Mackie managed a fine 50* abley supported by Mark Holland, who surprised us all in comeback game after four years by still not being able to time the ball... 28* or so though... not bad for a t*sser from Old Paulines..."up the Wick".

218 for BBC to win..

Joe Ewen and Shaun Whinney opened up for the Wick, but despite Joey particularly generating good pace and bounce no breakthrough came. Aware that under trades description act there were only three bowlers in the team a decision was taken to get the spinner on (Collier) and one of the batsmen (so called)... Matty D was the choice. I will dedicate a chapter later to the glove that one of the openers which Dutchy decided to throw "downwards" rather than "upwards" in course of celebration of catch (or not!) Maybe thats how they do it at Old Paulines? Collier settled into a good line and Matty D same... in fact it was Matty D who earned us the breakthrough when opener hit across a straight one. Collier then did for the number three (Sunil), who was beaten by one that was held back... well sledged Joey!!! The other opener however who had also got 50 in previous game still looked good.

After 20 overs BBC still in the game, although at 78 - 2 were 19 behind where Wick were at same stage. It was however time for decisions... should I try and get a wicket by bringing Joey back or should I shuffle the pack and get the batsmen on? I opted for plan B and Cransey was called for... Matty D was tired after 6 overs... then it was last week's POM and this week's jug batsman (Mackie). It looked a good call when Cransey snaffled the nuber four, but then five and one (sounds like a forecast at Wimbledon dogs) tucked, firstly into Collier's last over, had a bit of Crane's and a lot of Mackie... oh dear.

To the cry of "Get in" however Mackie bowled the freeflowing five with a beautiful inswinging yorker more reminiscent of Ryan Sidebottom, Zaheer Khan or R Singh... well done we all said. He then followed up with a beaut that butterfingers Holland snaffled to whip the bails off for stumping and then the "coup de grace" when he repeated ball that got rid of five to nail the very good opener... Zaheer Mackie!!! It was all over and after 32 overs Whinney and Ewen were recalled to finish the job. Saffer Whinney obliged by bowling two of the oppo and then Joe cranked up his pace after we all kindly reminded him that he was the only wicketless bowler. Graham Adamson almost pulled off the catch of the season off Joey, Shaun from PE dropped a skier off Joey... bit of a trend here for our tall wicketless bowler... that will teach him for not bowling at the timber I say!!!!

The last piece of fun was the oppo number 10, who was delighted that we were all winding Joey up as his life insurance wasn't up to date! Never mind, he ran himself out before Joey could finish him off! All out 170ish, Wick win and in bar on time.

Special mention to fantastic fielding by Joey, Matty D, Graham Adamson, Mackie, Tom Mccarthy and the usual crap fielding from the skipper... no change there then!

Man of Match: Mark Mackie
Pratt of Match: Marc Holland. He knows why!!! Welcome back to the Wick Dutchy!

Drunk of the day: Matt Davies. It would have been me, but he refused to drink with me any more as found some bird with name beginning with H better company!!! I had to go home and drink red wine on my own... boo hoo. Thank goodness Mr Culham is back for the next game, which is Stock Exchange.

Spectator of day: AJ (12th man) as not old enough to get into Wick wednesday top order!!!!

The Wick v Wine Trade - Match Report by Bobby

It was a glorious day and the toss was vital as when I looked round there was a grim realisation that there were insufficient leather chasers! Naturally I won the toss and decided to ignore the almost total lack of bowlers in the team as was hoping for a big score!

Smudger Smith and Andy Mooray opened up and against a tidy couple of wine trade bowlers managed to bosh (Smudge) and caress (Mooray) a 46 run opening partnership. Smudge falling to a straight one however opened the door and the Wine Trade stuck their foot in it and the aggressive appealer (Friar (maybe another name) Tuck) squeezed an LBW out of Junaid to remove a surprised Andy Mooray... quickest finger prize certainly went to Junaid there as he was too quick for Mr Mooray as he didn't even see it!

Mackie was the man we were all expecting to hold the innings together, but he tested gully rather early in his innings and went for not many, leaving the skipper to salvage something with Greg Unsworth... Leggsy smote some glorious drives, but then fell to a brilliant catch in the gully... these Wine Traders could certainly field! Graham Adamson came out at six and played a few nice shots before edging behind, so when Mr Culham came in next... he was on the dog and bone when he should have come in we were struggling at 90/5.

Mr Culham however is having an Indian summer and despite turbo senior being 5 years + older than a number of our team (Junaid, Alex Smith) he set about the Trade slow bowlers with a gusto. The skipper went with an out of form swipe at the slow bowler for 18, so Jelly provided some support until ambling a three destroyed his concentration and ended with his demise... turbo senior doesn't usually miss the boundary!

Junaid however came in and gave Mr Culham good support but disaster then struck when the bowler appealed to Mackie for LBW. Nobody knew why, not even Mackie, but as he woke he lifted the dreaded finger and despatched our saviour for 43 when we needed more! At Tea Mr Mackie admitted to being a very bad umpire - next week it will be the score box and bar! Freddie Linter got in on the smiting as did Junaid and Alex Smith (on debut) got off the mark and ended 1*. The view was that 155 might not be enough...

The Trade opened with a very tall left hander, who smote it many a mile I remembered from last year, and a right hander and Freddie Linter and Junaid were chosen to get amongst them. Junaid bowled beautifully with immaculate length and late inswing. A silly mid off and silly mid on were posted to encourage the right hander to drive and he obligingly missed to give the Wick an early wicket, followed by another to make Trade 27/2 with the game on. Linter bowled quite quickly and was unlucky not to snap up the leftie, but he hit very straight and hard and was scoring quickly. Junaid is only used to five over spells as is only 14, so was tiring. Mr Culham was called for as needed control and a couple of wickets... I wanted 10 overs. Disaster struck however as after three immaculate overs the Culham groin caved in.

Time for plan B. Oh no, we hadn't got a plan B!!!!!

Mackie was called for and he had a theory that he should bowl "death bowler" style - full tosses and leg theory! The older members thought line and length might be worth a try, but we were wrong as the Trade skipper slapped one of his death yorkers to Leggsy at mid on. (80/3) and with Junaid now bowled out Jelly was called for to take the pace off it. He certainly did that and the leftie who was in full flow played with much suspicion as could see more in the very slow non turning "please hit me" balls than any of us. Amazingly they played Jelly like Shane Warne on a "bunsen" for three overs when the less patient of us might have given in after one ball.

With the score on 111 for three I admit to missing the obvious as cow not posted to the frustrated leftie and Jelly too slow to go anywhere else... what were we thinking about? The moment was missed and Jelly was sussed, so nothing left but to get Alex Smith on to see how he fared. Three good overs was the answer and an unlucky Freddie Linter who got the lefties edge a couple more times only to see fly over gully and just past the 'keeper down leg.

Game over at 7.00 with leftie 86 not out. Well played we all agreed. Thankfully our ageing team not put through too much misery as the Culham groin, Jelly, myself, Smudge and Andy Mooray have been more mobile in recent history! Mackie was the star in the field though and was exceptional. Having recently come back from tour though the committee agreed he batted like a bowler, bowled like a batsman and umpired like a bowler! Yes.

Pratt of match: Mark Mackie Man of Match: Junaid

In the bar it was a close thing between myself, Jelly, Mr Culham, Mr Marshall, Leggsie, Mooray, Cransey (who turned up to watch) for drunk of the day.

In the end Mr Culham and I dead heated as we ended up currying and drinking Cobra til we couldn't talk in the "flying brick" curry house

HWRCC 3RD XI vs PHOENIX

Wick – 270 odd for 6 (Gruff – 60-odd; Hibby 70- odd) Phoenix all out for 70 (Jimmy C and Iqbal – 3 wickets each; linter 2)

“Oh it’s such a perfect day….such a perfect day” (sings)

I can think of no better way to kick off this weekend’s match report than to quote the lyrics of Lou Reed from his hit “Perfect Day” – it encapsulates everything about Saturday August 4th at Wick HQ, where our very own 3rd XI took centre stage for the first time this season. And didn’t we rise to the occasion?

After one of the most miserable periods of weather this writer has witnessed (think June and July), the sun finally popped its head out for a burn on a scorching August afternoon to see a “strengthened” 3rd XI wipe the proverbial backsides of a dour Phoenix XI in undoubtedly the most one-sided match of the season.

With the 1st and 2nd XI’s taking a well-earned rest from matches this weekend, the 3rd XI lineup was barely recognizable. The introduction of Hibby, Garf, Del Boy et al into the team under the guise and counsel of our very own Adam “lash” Crane, was always going to ensure that this would be a “lively” match. Cheered on by a number of the boys sinking Robert Wagners in a newly-formed paddling pool, and following the swift entry and departure of stalker “Ludlow”, this makeshift team put on the best display of cricket seen at the Wick this summer.

After winning the toss, Captain Cransey (coming in with a suspect record as captain) could see no other option than to throw on the pads and head out to bat – it would have been rude not to. With new openers Garf and Doddy heading out to the pitch (which looked magnificent by the way), it wasn’t long before the runs started to flow. Unfortunately for Doddy, who was perhaps unnerved by his forum posts during the week, in which he vowed to buy a jug for every six that was hit during the game, he was unable to hang around past the first few overs. Beaten by an absolute ripper (according to Garf), Doddy made way for Paul Hibberd. At this point, the game was over – FACT.

Garf and Hibby pasted the Phoenix attack to all parts of the ground in what Mark Nicholas would describe as “electrifying” cricket. Garf's impeccable timing and Hibby’s big hitting saw the Wick reach 100 after just 11 overs, with 300 looking like a possible score. Hibby quickly overtook Garf to reach his 50 – coming off one of the worst shots you will likely see – a slog sweep no less. Regaining his composure, and after some wise counsel from Cransey, it seemed destiny that he would notch up his second 100 of the season. Unfortunately, the inclusion of Doddy as umpire - perhaps sensing his pockets taking a pounding (Hibby had already hit two sixes), ended an Adam Gilchrist-esque knock when he raised the finger to a ball the kept low.

In the context of the match, Hibby’s departure mattered little. Quickfire knocks from Cransey, Lloydy, Del Boy and Jimmy C kept the Wick run-rate up at “ridiculous” , with Del Boy and Jimmy hanging around until the end of the innings with handy knocks – making 30 and 24 respectively.

After DBW’s best serving of the year (debatable?), and seeing an increasingly “lively” paddling pool, the Wick hit the field with confidence, and it wasn’t long before Junaid and Linter had gotten rid of the opening batsmen. Junaid – clearly fired up after a week off and keen to impress – bowled like a young Mark Ealham in a sensational spell of bowling. It was threatening, probing and “far out” – I dug it man!

At 5 down for very little, Phoenix looked like a broken team. With Jimmy C and Direct both coming on to bowl, Cransey added a further 4 slips, including a fly slip, to try and end the match before 6pm. Jimmy C – probably the liveliest we’ve ever seen at the Wick – took shreds out of the remaining Phoenix batsmen. Urged on by Hibby and those in the paddling pool, he took 3 wickets in a blistering spell. With Direct taking a great caught and bowled from the other end, and following an “insane” run out, the game was over. The mauling had finished.

At the end of the match, the boys – to a man – decided to cool off in the paddling pool, much to the chagrin of Sisso, who seemed to be enjoying a “quiet” one. They didn’t care though – it was perfect way to end the perfect day – FACT.

Here the boys create a little bit of Sabina park magic - from the left Leggsy, Mackie, Fudgey, Joey, Mrs Joey? and young Ms Sissen.

Wickman Junior

Team selection - Saturday 11 August

Gentlemen and lady Scorer please find the teams blogged here for Saturday's games.

Assuming that the current Foot and Mouth outbreak has remained contained within the Guildford environs, the 2s and 3s will be at home, as usual.

Wickman understands that you can tell if cows have the disease because they become unsteady on their feet, don't look particularly well and then drool a great deal. Wickman urges caution if you see colleagues displaying those characteristics in the clubhouse because, with the exception of Cransey - who is the devil - they do not have cloven hooves and are unlikely to be infected. They are probably merely drunk.

The 1s need to assemble a run of wins to end their season on a high. Currently mid table four more wins would be a reasonable return for their first season in the higher division.

The 2s are currently leading Division 2 and are unbeaten. Needing 48 points from a possible 80 to be champions of the league, there is no doubt where their ambition lies. But every team visiting fortress Wick will be intent on taking their scalp, especially those who are mid table. "Ah, we didn't get promoted, but we hammered those Basils at The Wick". We're expecting a feisty game from a team that beat us last year. All the more incentive for us to maintain our winning ways...

The 3s are duking it out with The Village xi, recent visitors on a Sunday. It's almost a return fixutre and the boys will need to guard against complacency on a weekend where the oppo will have revenge in their hearts.

1xi vs Long Ditton (a)

1) Cole 2) Mahoney 3) Raza 4) Forbes 5) Bishop 6) Davies © 7) Mackie + 8) Whinney 9) Ewen 10) Ford 11) Tughral

12:00 - Meet @ HWRCC 13:30 - Start

2xi vs Long Ditton (h)

1) Sayce 2) Fudge © 3) Golbourn 4) Hibberd 5) Clark + 6) High 7) Soppitt 8) Cameron 9) Greenwood 10) Hill 11) Lown

12:15 - Meet @ HWRCC13:30 - Start

3xi vs Village xi (h)

1) A. Risman 2) N. Doddy 3) A. Crane © 4) N. Singh 5) J. Lloyd 6) T. Robinson 7) H. Copeland + 8) D. Nicholas 9) P. Linter 10) J. Iqbal 11) K. Laight13:00

Meet @ HWRCC14:00 - Start

Foot and mouth threatens championship push

Down at the bottom of Gordon Brown's list of worries when the Cobra team meet today will be the future of the 2s' championship push and the remaining HWRCC home games this season.

Rightly so. The last outbreak of the disease resulted in the slaughter of up to 10 million animals and cost the country an estimated £8.5 billion. So a few games of cricket? Hardly an issue. Especially when the safety of our near deer neighbours is at risk.

Without the two home games to play the 2s will have to win both its away fixtures, at Effingham and Old Hamptonians to maintain its position at the head of the table. What price a return to Doom road...?

Getting Wick With.......... Adam 'Lash' Crane

We play cricket together, drink together and shower together, so let's find out what makes a bloke Wick. Following Nick Clark, is 3rd team skipper, lover of people with fat knees, and all-round nice guy, Adam Crane.

1 Nickname(s): Cranesy, anything else you Basils call me?

2 Highest Score for HWRCC: 25* V's CMO 2006, may have done better on a Sunday but I doubt it! Guessing my 86 for Crossbats doesn't count.

3 Best Bowling for HWRCC: Erm, prob the Sunday game against cheating basils earlier this year, we won though.

4 Favourite Away Ground: Kingsfield? Erm put a lot of thought into this and can't come up with an answer.

5 Favourite Food: Fish and chips, easy NEXT!

6 Favourite Singer/Band: Humm tough, after a quick check on itunes DJ Shadow is my most played, so him. Quite like Evanescence too.

7 Favourite Movie: Battle Royale, brilliant must be seen. Other than that City of God is awesome story, finally American Psycho I can watch it again and again.

8 Favourite Book: A Million Little Pieces by James Fray, tells the story of a recovering drug addict pretty tough at times but ultimately heartwarming. The followup My Friend Leonard I also loved.

9 Favourite Pub/Club: Humm, genuinely not so sure. Gordon Bennetts in Surbiton probably gets the nod, however O'Neills in Kingston has done me proud over the years, also the Volunteer in Abinger Hammer is great.

10 Favourite Crisps: Perhaps not quite crisps, but M&S do Guacamole flavoured nachos which are to die for (in a salty dehydrated kind of way)!

11 Favourite DBW Sandwich: Tuna although it could do without the cucumber slice. Never touched the egg.

12 Favourite Quote: Work is the curse of the drinking classes. How sad, though it's the only one I can think of.

13 Childhood Sports Hero: Rory Underwood what a legend!

14 Best Wick Moment: The best is yet to come. Anytime after a win watching the sunset is good.

15 Worst Wick Moment: Chairmans v's presidents last year. Thank christ I escaped the evening!!

16 Invite 3 People to Dinner (Dead or Alive): I have been agonising over this question for ages I just couldn't think of anybody really. Well except three people, my mum, dad and sister. Leaving family out of the equasion Martin Johnson, Bill Clinton would make a great guest, humm and we'll need some totty as well so Pam Anderson (grrrr).

Club Dinner and Awards Night

Parlez-vous Wick? Ask Wickman

Parlez-vous Wick is a new, occasional, series to help you keep abreast of Wick lingo. Some recent definitions: Yorkshire - Yorksire Ripper - Stripper. "We're off to see the Yorkshires tonight, but what goes on tour stays on tour, right?" Lively - Lively. Can be used in many ways. If something is "lively" it could very well be vigorous. The joint might well be jumping. But it can also be used sarcastically to discribe something that is decidedly NOT lively. "Look at that old age pensioner with a back like the Sydney Harbour Bridge - he's lively". You can also have a "new kind of lively" which can be applied to anything that might be either lively or emphatically not lively for example: "Clarky, you've got a puncture". "That's lively". If you are falling behind the times on lingo, simply Ask Wickman

3s - Saturday

With the 1s and 2s on a break from League cricket the 3s are at home on Saturday and Keith has generously allowed them to use to the main square... here's the team. Why not get down and support them? Let's face it, how few of you have actually got around to organising something else in the interim???! Certainly I have heard tell of a number of individuals who will be sinking a few Robert Wagners on the balcony... Details as per usual for home games.

Doddy, Risman, High, Crane, Lloyd, Copeland H (+), Cameron, Nicholas, Linter, Taylorson, Iqbal