3rds vs Crossbats.... Match Rep by Wickman Jr

HWRCC 3RD XI vs CROSSBATS

TEAM – Lloydy (c), Jimmy C, Taylorson, Conner, Doddy, Sayce, Iqbal, Tommy, Kirky, Derrick.

HWRCC finish on 8-130; Paul “strokemaker” Sayce making a majestic 65 and Taylorson a cheeky 20.

CROSSBATS finish with 4-134, winning by 6 wickets.

Please welcome back into the fold….Ashley Giles

Hampton Wick Royal Cricket Club, Bushey Park, Hampton Wick, has been the setting for many special occasions over the last hundred odd years. It was the venue for the Queen’s first outdoor sojourn amongst the common folk (you might have to check that on wikipedia – Wickman Junior doesn’t have time for these trivialities), the place where actress Kierra Knightly turned up for a few cheeky beverages (and had her cheeks tested, if you take Joey’s word as read), and the first official sighting of Wickman, still revered as the doyen of the club. Jimmy C disputes this though…. “who is Wickman?”

But all of these events, while significant in the Club’s history, pale in comparison to what can only be described as the most surreal day ever witnessed at The Wick. For May 26th 2007 was the day that Mrs Cricket himself, Ashley Giles MBE (or OBE…again Wikipedia it), made a triumphant return to the game playing for the Crossbats. It was a privilege to say that we were there to witness such an august occasion.

Despite the doubts of HWRCC’s 3rd XI about the veracity of Ashley Giles’ appearance for the Crossbats, new captain “Lloydy” (“do you want me to tell you my average again?”) decided to get down to business and ignore the naysayers. Heading out to bat on a newly trimmed and refurbished outfield (Many thanks to Fudgey for taking heed of Wickman Junior’s comments on these pages last week), the Wick set about posting a solid total.

Led by the masterful Paul Sayce (“are you AJ in disguise?”) and “Direct” Derrick, we looked totally at ease with the opening bowlers. Pushing boundaries and singles at ease, the opening pair had already racked up 20 odd by the time Derrick (“the weather in this country is toilet – FACT”), got an unlucky top edge and was sent packing. And despite Doddy (“just back from Vegas”) and Lloydy going cheaply, we were still confident of posting a score.

But Ashley Giles didn’t just pick Hampton Wick for a “light-hearted” return to the game, and just be “a part” of the action. Not on your nelson. As Jimmy C strode purposely out to the wicket (despite recent knocks), “Gilo” had already found our weakness, and the game was as good as over as a contest. As Sayce skied another hook shot to the boundary, “Gilo” - just like he did from Ponting in the Second Ashes Test in Adelaide last year – dropped a sitter. It was just the spur the Crossbats needed.

With their Captain sighting this typical “Gilo” ineptitude on the boundary, Ashley was brought on to bowl his usual left arm pies. Game over. Whether it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things “Gilo”, like the master he is, tore through Jimmy C and the remaining batsmen – despite the brief resistance of Taylorson and Robinson. Managing only 130, the Wick had succumbed to Mrs Cricket. Welcome back to the game mate.

After a lovely tea interval and a few encouraging words from Clarky - “130 is defendable – FACT” – we took to the field. With one player short, Lloydy deputizing behind the stumps, and the rain becoming stronger, we were up against it from the get-go. “Gilo”, spurred on by Jimmy C’s taunts at first slip, punished our openers all over the park. Jimmy C is developing a reputation for stupid sledging (note: how long can you go before the saying “that’s probing Iqbal…good stuff” gets overused?)

“Direct” and “Iqbal”, although talented bowlers, could not match the quality of “Gilo” – it was a harsh but important lesson for the Wick. The pundits often say that “form is temporary and class is forever” and Gilo, the best thing to happen to cricket since Mark Ealham rolled his arm over, fits this description to a T.

Despite a few late wickets and a great catch by Jimmy C (the ball was a sponge at this point – FACT), the Crossbats coasted to victory. As “Gilo” walked off with bat in hand, acknowledging the crowd, Wickman Junior shed a cheeky tear. I have never considered “turning” for anyone in my life, but at 6.00 pm on May 26th 2007, it could easily have happened.

Best of luck for the future “Gilo”, and welcome back!

Wickman Junior

Match Report - 3rdxi vs Thames Ditton - by Kirky

Thames Ditton's 3rds Ground and President Sissen

Editors's Note:

Wickman has received a number of communications this morning from 3rd xi players who are less than gruntled by Saturday's facilities. Gentlemen, the committee offers its apologies. If they had known Thames Ditton wanted to play boules on a cabbage patch they'd have secured another fixture elsewhere. The thought of Bobby, Dick and Mooro having to change in the open air is bringing a sort of smile to Wickman's face (although Wickman is trying not to think too hard about it) but Wickman appreciates that cricket should be more fun. Thank goodness for Kingsfield... In the meantime everyone should please be assured that the fixtures sec will be assessing not just availability of opposition but facilities also. What with the 3s playing on the Somme and the 2s not getting a game it hasn't been a great weekend. It's not easy...

Kirky's Report Follows:

Whilst I can’t claim to have any knowledge of cricket it seems there is usually a clear man of the match. A person who rises above their team-mates and the opposition to create the winning advantage. It may be argued Gilchrist's 150 may have sealed the world cup for Australia. In the case of HWRCC 3rd XI vs TDCC 3rd XI there was a clear leading wicket taker who stitched up, undid and cleaned up experienced and inexperienced batsmen alike.

This contestant wasn't a player but the wicket. It was a mixture of dust bowl, green patches and yellow tufts and the bounce was variable to say the least. Luckily the wicket wasn’t biased and took victims of both teams. My sympathies go out to Thames Ditton 3rd XI. It appears a lot of their home fixtures will take place at this ground. Not a particularly rough park but it had more Vicky Pollards than you could shake a stick at and it all takes place under the gaze of Surrey's business hub and architectural marvel the Tolworth Tower.

Things started badly when the groundsman failed to turn up and open the pavilion, we plugged on regardless. As with last week the 3rd XI was a mixed bag of experience, youth and variations in-between, it was also Merwin's Saturday debut for the Wick. Someone won the toss and the Wick went into bat.

The Wick top order was quickly undone by the randomiser wicket and before we knew it we were 70/7 and looking down the barrel of the gun. Those in the top order struggled to get into double figures. Perhaps the only person to escape the wicket was Derrick but Tom saw to that and triggered him. There were any number of excuses not to give LBW on this wicket but Tom wasn't feeling charitable. A quick cameo by yours truly brought three 4s and worryingly the top score. After trying slog a full toss and being caught at mid-off, Lloydy was brought to the crease. On a side note Lloydy's flatmate Cransey has recently invested in a fancy new cricket bat. If Lloydy was trying to make a point that you don't need an Uzi SPS to make runs he didn't mention it. He set about dispatching the bad balls of which there were generous amounts. Joined by Jimmy C they set about a match saving partnership. Eventually Jimmy was run out to a direct hit; the quick running stressed his hamstrings ruling him out from the bowling attack but his 29 was more than useful. Tom came and made a few before Bobby declared or whatever you do in timed matchs. This was very kind of Bobby as Lloydy was on 46 and in danger of buying jug. Wick 160/9 off 47 overs.

Tea looked promising but somehow TD had lost the plates. Not being a fastidious bunch we did without, it might explain why there was a fair amount of salad left over. 7/10

Tom and I opened the bowling. I took the wicket of an older fellow and Tom took one of a youngster who had a fine looking leave. This did mean he took one to the helmet a couple to the ribs. Leave at you own risk on this wicket. He eventually tried to cut one that moved in about a foot and kept low skittling him, a good wicket for Tom.

It appeared TD had learnt from our mistakes and were playing patiently. It was slow going as the 3 and 4 put on the runs. Merwin replaced Tom but had a tough time finding the line and length that saw him taking wickets in the nets. Bloomy was brought on to replace myself, though there was movement there was no guarantee it was going with the spin. Dick replaced Merwin and Derrick replaced Bloomy. Derrick’s first ball pitched short of a length and shot along at ankle height. His second pitched short of a length and shot three feet above the bats head. The second did exactly the same. This was the story of Derricks spell, the bat could expect the ball at head height or ankle and there was no discernable way to tell one ball from the other.

Eventually Dick and Derrick began to make inroads. Almost unbelievably there were three catches from Butterfingers Bobby and one caught by myself who has equally if not more buttery fingers. From being up the creek we had managed to turn the game around. It finished a winning draw for the Wick. Thames Ditton 141ish/9.

I think we can all agree a winning draw is more satisfying than a loosing one but when it boils down to the luck of the bounce it takes the shine off it. Credit to Lloydy and Jimmy surviving the randomiser, building any runs on the Alexandra Rec wicket is no mean feat.