Return of Za Mack

Anyone who has played at the Wick for any length of time will know what's its like to be embarrassed by Zammak ripper. Despite bowling slower than Keith, you somehow get beaten for pace, the bounce comes from nowhere, it bites in the pitch like a snake in the grass, and out of the corner of your eye you see a wee fella with the smuggest grin on his face. You weren't even close and you were laughing at the ball before it passed the stumps.

Zumba was part of the Wick Invincibles of 2006. And a vital part too. A quick scan of Play Cricket will tell you that he took 34@13, going for only 3.2 an over that year. His next great year came in 2008 when he took 29@18. In fact even in his poorer seasons he performed better than most of us would care dream about....and all this bowling leg spin. Bloody good leg spin too. As Nomi said a few weeks back, great cricket teams are made up of great individual talents - and in Tuggles we have one more to add to our list. Welcome back Tuggzy.

Speaking of individual talents, did anyone see that spell by Dale Steyn on Sunday? True cricket fans should appreciate the sight of a genuine fast bowler flying in at pace and controlling ball like a yoyo. Fair play to Mitchell Johnson, he has bowled some great balls in the past 18 months, but Mr Steyn has been at the top of the world game for 5 years and seems as hungry as ever for wickets - ideally Australian ones. Epic stuff.

Back to Zambezi - his challenge now is whether he can be as good as his brother, who has matured into one of the most feared hitters of the circuit. One Tughral is scary enough, but two gives me the giggles.

There were other people a nets on Sunday too - 17 others in fact (a low turn out by 2014 standards), each with a point to prove. MattyD's batting aside, the standard was as high as ever, so if if anyone who hasn't rocked up yet do get involved. Tiffin Boys School, Sundays, 11-1.

KP back with England*

The MCC today announced that the rules of cricket are to change as of yesterday. Cricket will no longer be a team sport. It will be played still by 22 players, but each will be competing for themselves. Players will wear their own kit and each will get five overs to bat. Bowlers will be decided by lottery, fielding positions by phone vote and non-strikers by fines committee from the previous week.

The move is believed to be is response to KP's sacking from England. A spokesman for the ECB tomorrow said 'We're delighted to welcome KP back to the England setup. He's been our best individual player for the past decade, long may this continue.'

In a re-vamped County Championship 250 players will all play against each other every day for 6 months starting next week at Worcester. The one day stuff will be take on a Royal Rumble feel with players entering the field every over with batsmen and bowlers rotating until everyone is out.

T20 will not change.

*this is not true.

First indoor net review - Marrrvelous

Gooood morning everyone and welcome to the review of the Hampton Wick Royal first netsh shession for 2014, and what a marrrvelous shession it was.

Tiffin Schoool was the venue and **** me what a dingy place that can be. But not on Shunday as the Wick boys turned up in their droves for the first crack at practice and shed some light on what has been a pretty p*ss poor summer for the pommies. What better way to burn off the frustration of an Ashes bashing than to bash a few balls of your own. Marrrvelous.

Noman was on fine form as usual, hitting marrrrvelous straight drives past anyone who deared bowl in his half of the pitch. Shaycey also looked like his old-self, shtanding tall and shnicking off. Mr Collier also showed his face…although we’d rather he’d hidden it, shporting as it did a beard Mr Gatting would have been proud of. Mr Laight turned up late and then didn’t contribute for an hour, before bowling QUICKERBALLS slower than everyone else’s SLOWERBALLS. Marrrrvelous.

Quote of the day came from Mr Highh when discussing the value of Lidl over competing Shupermarket eshtablishments. ‘You can get a lobster for £4.99’. He looked composed at the crease though and will provide a headache for the shelectors later in the Summer. Iain Tong, the taller of the twooo Tongs, again displayed a dress sense like no other. Chedward were there in full gear, both having worked at the Wick the night before, as always full of shtories.

A few newww faces tooooooo. Shum tasty looking ones as well – all showing abilities with bat and ball. Old timer Davieshhh getting a few on the toes and looking a little worshe for wear afterwardsh. Zohaak was there toooo….hitting the ball as hard as anyone. Mr Shmith, reliable as ever found some good length, and the Prawn dibbled his way to a firsht run out of the year. Gayan showed us all his famous gate (ball going through it), and Mr Shimcox wasn’t afraid of getting involved, but only in net number twoooo.

Next week we will have more of the shame, do stay tuuuuned of get involved yourself. Remember, its Tiffin Boys’ Schoool, 11-1pm. If they numbersh stay like this, and the quality this high, the Wick will be in for another great sheason. Marrrrvelous.