Royal Cricket

Wick xi vs Wine Trade


Wick 167-9 40 overs (Mackie 65)

Trade 123 AO (Wickets shared around)



Clark, Mackie, Madoc Jones+, Selves*, Chedwood, Gauvain, Webster, Chedwood, Nicholls, Smith, Collier





On a scorching hot day (what’s that? Ed) a Wick xi assembled from the young and the old and infirm despatched an unusually strong Wine Trade team by 40 runsish.



Skipper Selves won the most important toss of the year, condemning the Wine Trade to 40 overs in the field in 30 degree heat. The Wick deck looked hard and dry but was actually about as responsive as a deaf dog.



Wine Trade had assembled a side that included some familiar faces and some younger folk who looked like club cricketers and or ringers. You could tell this from the shirts they were wearing which had other cricket club logos on them. So it’s not like this author has an eye for talent.



Clark was tasked with seeing off the new ball with Mackie. He was successful for four balls of this task but the fifth (an absolute Jaffa naturally) took the inside edge and the leg bail. An opportunity for an early shower was declined as Clark’s anti-perspirant had not been tested by his brief stay.



Madoc-Jones replaced him and from the other end the Greggs van arrived and some nice looking pies were served up making our departed opener most cross. Mackie and MJ took advantage of the meat-filled bowling until one actually landed on the strip having swung one way and seamed back to defeat a bemused MJ. Wick in trouble at 20-2.



Skipper Selves experienced many of the same issues with the fiery opener from the Kingston end and despite an extremely cautious approach got another Jaffa and was returned to the pavilion. One half of Chedwood then amused the crowd by scoring approximately ten runs and then succumbing to having to run with Mackie and almost being unable to stand up. Charles eventually managed to get himself bowled to end his torture with the Wick’s second highest score on the day of 19.



Leo Gauvain – possibly on debut – was then run out by a combination of ambitious calling (Mackie), comical non studs cartoon running (Leo) and excellent fielding (Fiery Oppo Opener). We were then treated to a superb cameo from Luke Webster who smashed 14 runs in no time at all, 9 magnificent runs from a field splitting Nicholls and some nurdling from the remaining bats.



In the middle of all this mayhem, Mackie batted superbly (when he had the strike – I’ve never heard so much whinging) lofting spinners to the pavilion boundary and flicking and nudging the ball around elsewhere. Scoring 65 absolutely typical Mackie runs, he anchored the Wick reply playing the day’s outstanding innings. For the oppo, Fiery Opener delivered a stunning analysis of 8-3-7-3. The seven runs he conceded he did so in wides. Not a single run came off a Wick bat. He was either pretty much unplayable or… unplayable. That said he was bowling mostly to 4th xi batsmen… and might be 2s standard if he was Wick…



Tea. Absolutely standard DBW tea. Some unusually shaped buns. Didn’t try any new combos. Found some mustard which was particularly good on the ham sandwiches. 8.



The oppo’s reply began with a bat from Kempton (looked useful) and a bat from Brighton. The Brighton bat drilled one absolutely ravishing boundary through the gap between cover and point. Looked a million dollars. Was however VERY lucky not to be LBW to a Webbo full toss before being very unlucky to then be given out LBW for the first LBW when he wasn’t LBW to the second LBW. If you catch my drift. The Kempton opener also looked like he knew what he was doing but fell to both halves of Chedwood.



Selves at mid off instructed Ched to hit the top off stump telling him that he had an excellent off side field, apart from Wood standing at gully. The bat duly smoked a late cut at Wood who pouched a screamer. The rest of the side laughed like hyenas which is so much more upsetting for a departing bat who knows he has been dismissed by something approaching a statistical fluke.



Excellent spells from young Jack Smith and Mike Collier pegged the run rate back and both took wickets leaving Wine Trade in some disarray and behind the rate. To spice things up Selves then turned to the pastries of Clark and Chairman Mao. Clark’s first two filthy overs gave the Wine Trade a sniff of victory but eventually he managed to persuade a number of bats to fall on their swords. Nips at the other end bowled a bat who was trying to take a ball from middle stump and deposit it into the pavilion and removed the #10 more conventionally, caught Webster at point.



Beers were drunk. Wines were tried. A sunset (typical one) was observed. Stories were told. Some became difficult to understand as the evening wore on. Plans for world domination were drawn up before being disregarded in favour of even more ambitious ones. It was agreed that the Wick was a very fine place to play cricket indeed and that everyone who played there or is any way associated with the old place are jolly fine people. All good…