Monday, 25 June 2012

Wick in Disaster Movie Style Loss on Kingsfield - Match Report by Wickman



Shortly after tea, the Wick innings was in some turmoil... Ed

HWRCC 4xi vs Ashford
Wick win toss
Ashford 93 (Mcmullen 5-35)
Wick 57
Ashford win by more than the margin suggests - for teams and detail click here

In the 1970s cinema goers were treated to a series of disaster movies. The most notable are The Poseidon Adventure (ship turns upside down, most are drowned) and The Towering Inferno (large building catches fire, catastrophic results). Eerily, post 9/11 and Costa Concordia, they don’t seem so far fetched.

Proper money was spent on these films. They had all star casts, stunning (for the time) special effects, proper scores and large scale sets. Nothing shonky here. The film industry handed out gongs, fortunes were made and we revelled in the hideous predicaments and moral dilemmas that the scriptwriters doled out.

The end of The Towering Inferno is described thus:

On the ground, Claiborne finds out through Jernigan that Mueller did not survive and is heartbroken, but is given her pet cat. Duncan consoles Patty over Simmons' death. Roberts says to Susan that he does not know what will become of the building, but perhaps it should be left alone as "a kind of shrine to all the bullshit in the world". O'Hallorhan says to Roberts that they were lucky tonight and that it could be much worse when fire safety is not taken into account. Roberts agrees to consult with O'Hallorhan in the near future. The fire chief drives away, exhausted.

And The Poseidon Adventure:

Rogo leads the remaining survivors — Rosen, Martin, Nonnie, Susan and Robin — through the watertight door and into the propeller shaft room. They hear a noise above the ship and bang on the ceiling/floor to get the rescuers' attention. They cut through the hull and help the group out of the ship. The survivors, the only six alive after the disaster, fly off to safety by helicopter.

Top quality stuff as you can no doubt tell from these short excerpts. Wickman particularly likes the detail about the pet cat.

On Saturday, over at Kingsfield, an equally unbelievable disaster movie style script was written by the 4s and acted out in almost stunned silence.

A top cast for the movie, sitting atop the table despite a couple of weeks off for rain and bye rounds, took on one of the more robust looking clubs in the league, Ashford. The track was surprisingly good given the rain of the previous couple of days (no special effects) and the prevailing South Westerly wind was busy drying it out. Selvesy had no hesitation in inserting the oppo.

This turned out to be the right decision. Gayan and Paddy opened up. Once they both found the right length the batsmen looked less than comfortable. Few scoring shots were in evidence and together they took a grip on the game. In the way of these things it took a couple of fairly shocking balls to actually take wickets (a perfect nibble from an away swinger was declined at first slip first). A short ball that didn’t get up accounted for opener 1 and a waist high and barely legal full toss produced a catch at mid off for the skipper to get rid of 2, both to Paddy.

MS, Clark and Risman then perked up a bit as a very incompetent looking number three belied his black trainers (deary, deary me) and started playing some very authoritative looking shots including a perfectly lofted four straight back over Gayan’s head. It was about to get interesting until something filthy from Paddy had him bunting it up in the air to Mo – who made no mistake in the covers. You must credit the bowler for putting so much pressure on, that the first time a bad ball came along it created wickets.

The Oppo kept at it, particularly Ciaran Lewis, a younger player who held their innings together while regular wickets fell. Splinter, struggling slightly unmanfully with flu, bowled well within himself and with good control down the hill – but again took his first of two with something he was less than proud of before producing a peach to take his second wicket.

Olly King once again showed that despite his years he’s a quality prospect barely bowling a ball offline in a spell of 6-1-9-1 which totally tied an end down. He might have added more to the wickets column had not our fielders turned into Tommy Cooper style jugglers from a couple of simple chances. Inevitably after bowling so perfectly his wicket came when he dropped short and a shot was played across the line. Plumb LBW. It was that kind of day for us.

When the bowling rules intervened, Usman replaced him and bowled a succession of maidens as Ashford sought to take some time out of the game. Paddy returned at the other end and produced two quality wicket taking balls when he pitched the ball up, knocking back the off peg twice. There was time at the end for Clark to reward Usman with a second wicket with a tidy stumping of an over aggressive #11 and we were off to tea in the very happy position of having sent back Ashford for 93.

Tea. Absolutely the same. 8. Ashford said their tea is better – so looking forward to that. If selected. At this point in a 70s disaster movie all the cast are usually having a posh dinner not thinking anything is amiss, someone’s drunk and there are shots of a small fire or an undersea earthquake that is happening somewhere. No one quite notices. For us it was that the oppo sat on the Wick tables at tea. It was a bad omen.

At halfway a look in the book would tell you that the Wick were well on top. Only lessons to learn were that catches need to be held (cost a few runs this week) and 21 wides (one every other over) is just too many. Would we have been chasing nearer 60 with a bit more discipline? Perhaps… Generally the fielding was of a high standard, energetic and had contributed to the pressure built by the bowlers. There were no byes this week – Clarky’s first trot out this year with the metal gauntlets was a creditable one.

The Wick had brought enough batting this week to chase 93. But they had reckoned without Anwar and Hussain. Anwar simply blew the top order away while Hussain made sure there were no easy runs on offer and picked up wickets of his own. But the difference was Anwar’s spell from the top end. Tall, rangy, with a shortish run and whirling action, he was a yard or two quicker than your correspondent has come to expect this year. For comparison think a shade off Shaun Whinny pace. Really.

In a lesson to us all he bowled full and straight and attacked the stumps. Perhaps one ball an over was not in the right place… but that said he wasn’t offering up half volleys on leg stump. First MS unluckily kicked Hussain on to his stumps before Anwar castled Risman. Worse was to follow as Miles played on to him and Selves and Clark found themselves in the middle with the Wick 10-3. A familiar story this season but not insurmountable. Returning to our opening theme of disaster movies, this was now the bit where either the boat has capsized or the towerblock is ablaze. Problems early doors – but perhaps the cast hasn’t quite worked out what’s in store for them.

In an attempt to rebuild and nudge the score along both bats knuckled down in an attempt to see off the openers and perhaps get through to drinks. But the lack of balls to hit meant that Ashford were largely able to continue unhindered. Plan B in a disaster movie is where a core group of characters band together and attempt against the odds to lead any survivors to safety. This Plan B then came up short as Clarky played down the wrong line and played on too. Paddy was then given a taste of his own medicine and departed second ball to another roaring straight one. It would be up to the skipper and the tail to see if they could pull something out of the fire.

19-5 was not a happy place to start pulling from though. And that soon became 27-8 as Selvesy got a good one, Uzzy popped one up to silly mid on and Mo became the final batsman to succumb to the pacy stuff from the top end. Gayan and Splinter (unfortunately wearing a blue, fleecy sleveless Gilet [on tour it would have got him sent home with an empty bank account]) made a forlorn attempt to battle back but Ashford had overs in hand and not even the stodgy block out for a point was on the cards. Things were wrapped up by an LBW and a run out as Splints tried to nick the strike. Utter humiliation had been averted but we had been done up good and proper by a quality bowling attack and could have no complaints. Somewhere in the region of 57 runs was cobbled together, leaving us wistfully wondering what might have been if the lines we bowled had been a little tighter.

Unlike in a disaster movie there’s no need to panic here. Usually in a movie of this kind there is a villain – someone has cut corners or hubristically made light of a situation with potentially devastating consequences. Not here. This was a good team performance with the ball but a collective top order failure with the bat, brought on by a good standard of bowling. Wickman prefers to give credit to Hussain and Anwar with the ball and young Lewis with the bat for accomplished performances. Readers will be pleased to know that there were no lives lost in the making of this film and that no one was given anyone else’s pussy to look after. Wickman thinks that’s right anyway.

The return game will be eagerly anticipated. And with the promise of that tea to look forward to as well... MOM, for volume of wickets, goes to Paddy.

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