Monday 22 February 2010

The Deerhunter

Royal Parks police may want to keep an eye on the Wick golf day at Hampton Court Palace on April 10. It seems that a one man campaign to rid the park of deer has begun with one of our own insituting a cull of our horned friends.

And it appears that unusual weapons and tactics are being deployed to cut the numbers. In scenes reminiscent of the famous 1978 film The Deerhunter, erstwhile Wednesday slalwart and Tom Savage lookalike Tom Gleeson attempted to invite the deer to participate in his own game of Russian Roulette.

President Robert Sissen observed the miscreant at first hand. "I'm sorry to report that one of our members has run amuck in the grounds of Hampton Court Palace. Using a driver and a selection of Wilson Titanium ammunition he first tried to cause a young male to explode by blocking its anus with a ball before trying to blast the head off another with what observers called a Gerry Adams" (a provisional for those struggling - Ed).

The rules committee at Hampton Court Palace (R Sissen) is said to have attempted to convince Gleeson to play his first ball as it lay, but the startled deer declined to particpate and retired a safe distance to extricate the first missle. The second ball was declared lost oblgiging a red-faced Gleeson to play a third ball which cleared the deer but left the par 5 14 unreachable in two. Gleeson failed to record a score on this hole and is now being persued by animal rights activists.

There are two places available for the Wick golf day (please apply to D Fudge or R Sissen). The deer are said to be displaying more caution and were noticeably absent from the fourteenth tee area as Gleeson returned on Saturday.

[Gleeson is pictured here in new golf attire - Ed]

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