Referrals

The era of referrals may just be beginning in Test Cruckitt. Today Indian skipper Anal Crumble asked for a Bhaji LBW appeal to be checked after it was first turned down. Genius or madness?

Wickman reckons the idea of being able to overturn really crummy decisions is appealing (see what he did there?) Remember Allan Donald getting Athers to glove one behind and not getting the finger? That would have been a great result surely? Er no it would have ruined one of the great rearguards but never mind.

How about Darren Pattinson? He's be logging it that his first test wicket would have been rescinded. We would have been robbed of one of the truly awful sights - a fuller than full full bunger LB that was missing the stumps. It could have denied DP a long and fulfilling Test career!

Actually Wickman would like a referral system in other parts of his life. How about being able to refer other critical decisions to an impartial third umpire with limitless technology and replays?

*Wickman arrives home*
Mrs W: Where the Devil have you been you useless good for nothing bar steward?
W: Er working late and then a couple of beers with *insert name of colleague* to talk them down from the ledge.
Mrs W: Rubbish! You are legless!
W: No no! It was only a few light ales!
Mrs W: I'm not having that you are drunk you silly little man!
*Wickman makes the sign for a replay - the third umpire gets on the walkie talkie to Mrs W*
Third Umpire (somone like Boutros Boutros Ghali could do a job with Mrs W - global diplomacy skills spanning military conflict, genocide and all the continents): I've reviewed cctv evidence from Hampton Wick station back to Wickman's scret lair and there was no swerving, no crafty urination in a front garden, no half eaten middle Eastern snacks discarded and no five minute attempt to banish hiccups while outside the front door. I must conclude he is telling the truth. Not out!
W: Yesssssssss. Back in the game
Mrs W: I can still sledge you, you useless... [Continues ad infinitum]

[Just the man for Mrs W; Boo Boo Ghali - Ed]