Chris Lewis

Wickman never understood what people saw in Chris Lewis. It was during that phase when every player in the country who could bat and bowl to any kind of standard was thirstily called an all rounder by the tabloids and then compared to Ian Botham.

Wickman hesitates to write this next paragraph but it needs to be said. Why were journalists, selectors and people like Mike Atherton (who kept selecting and captaining the man) so obsessed? Wickman thinks it was because we were scarred by a decade or so of West Indian maulings. Roberts, Garner, Holding, Marshall, Croft, Ambrose, King et al had broken and bruised a couple of generations of English batsmen and we wanted our own West Indian to come in and terrorise oppos. How ironic it would have been if he'd managed to break a West Indian nose or two.

England persevered with him when most of the evidence was that he didn't swing the thing and he didn't propel it in a threatening manner. They persevered with the famously and hilariously misnamed Malcolm Devon. At least Dev was truly quick on occasion (that spell at The Oval against the Jaapies was phenomenal). Chris Lewis was just average. And don't think this is too much of a leap of imagination. Wickman is almost certain that during this time period the game was desperately searching through St Reatham, Brixton, Wandsworth and the like for a 6'8'' second generation West Indian. They would turn up at schools hoping to discover some badass gangly freak with hands like buckets who would don the lions and look to kill some Antipodean folk.

When he batted he had a sort of limp, away from your body pendulum style which bore about as much resemblance to how Botham batted as Cooky does to his Flintoffness. When he bowled (if you believe today's papers) he would slink in to the popping crease (loving that terminology) like a panther and sort of ooze the ball up to the other end at pace.

But Wickman can NEVER remember Chris Lewis being any more frightening on the box than a five year old daughter dressed as a witch on Halloween. If what they wanted was a West Indian intimidator then the comparison with any of the WI old guard or Ambrose is just laughable.

When Ambrose destroyed England for 46 in WI (top scorer one C Lewis) every ball looked like it would rip the throat out of an England bat. When Malcolm Marshall was blackwashing David Gower's England home and away in the mid 80s every single ball looked like it would take the edge and land in the hands of first slip. Graham Gooch was obliged, on the basis of having been selected, to at least turn up in the middle but he probably spent more time walking in and out than he did at the wicket in those two series.

Chris Lewis was nothing to a young England supporter of the day. He didn't ever fulfill his talent. His image was rubbish. He had neither the aristocratic mien of a Gower nor the brutal power of a Gatting, Gooch or Botham. He perhaps had the run up of a Hadlee but the delivery of a paperboy. He was distinctly average. Add to that but he never convinced Wickman that he gave a damn.

To hear that he might have smuggled drugs into the country to profit from the misery of others is not a surprise on that basis. Derek Pringle said he was shocked in The Telegraph today. Wickman just wasn't. The guy played without heart, without passion, without soul. And now he has cheapened even those vanilla performances.

As Morse would have said... "Oh Lewwwwwwwwwwwwwwissssss".

India Series Starts Tomorrow

Wickman is as excited as a dog who knows it's dinner time. At 4am, when all is quiet, the India England series - which has sucked up more words than the last world Scrabble championship, kicks off. Actually, kicks off is wrong. How do you describe the beginning of a cricket series?

Forgetting that for a moment, the England team has been lauded to the rafters for returning to India. Good on them. Good on them too for remembering, with their generous donation of half a match fee (no seriously, no sarcasm), that cricket is not quite as important as life and death.

But Wickman's not excited by England. Oh no. Wickman just can't wait to get a glimpse of these Indian fellas. Wickman watched as much of the Boreder Gaviscon trophy earlier in the Autumn as time allowed and he liked what he saw. Mishra is beguiling. Ishant Sharma - a sort of fiery hatstand - looks class. Yuvraj - who has now played more one day internationals than the entire England team - doesn't look like getting out. Dhoni - perhaps the ugliest batsman in the world who seems to be playing shots that his muscles have learned on a forestry course - is back in the runs. Gautam Ghambir has, for no discernable reason, become world class overnight. And Viru makes Chris Gayle look like Geoff Boycott. And then there is the little master (and we aren't talking about Paul Collingwood here) who is creating records every time he goes out to bat. Wickman just can't wait.

And no one gives England a rats chance in a cat filled maze. Sigh. We've gone from a joyous Indian Summer against South Africa to a frankly horrifying Indian Winter which could end with armchair fans like Wickman fearing turning the box on in the morning almost as much as he did in the last Ashes.

Baubles

Wickman was having a tidy up and found these. We picked these babies up at the end of season Fullers League Dinner.

The dinner (the food anyway) was good. Beer was cheap as per. But the rest of the evening? A bit bewildering if Wickman is honest.

For some reason the organisers decided that it would be a good idea to honour a whole bunch of people that don't play cricket on the evening. It started with some geezer from the committee who was retiring. They let him up on stage. He decided to tell a very old golf joke. It wasn't a very good joke. He's not a raconteur of much note. Result? Boredom.

Then a procession of people from other clubs who do a bit behind the scenes were invited up. It looked like the entire committee. Clap clap clap clap clap for what seemed like half an hour as these boys tottered up to grab fifteen minutes of bemused onlooking from the rest of us.

We perked up a bit when they handed out the baubles because we picked up a couple. Good stuff. Great season. Two promoted sides, one finishes in third. Surely we'll pick up a club of the month spot? Especially since we WERE club of the month on the Fullers site earlier in the year? Did we buggery.

One of the "clubs of the month" - if Wickman remembers correctly and believe me he took to the liquid anaesthetics pretty hard during the golf "joke" so this might be false memory sydrome - was a club whose 1xi didn't turn out xi players all season, whose seconds are about to rejoin Fullers after a season in which they often had only eight out on a Saturday (welcome back boys why don't you join forces with Mellett and chums?) and their 3xi was docked 40 points for selection irregularities or some such.

Along with the red wine it left a slightly odd taste in the mouth. Never mind eh? It's not every year you have three teams in the promotion run off and two go up. We'll have to content ourselves with enjoying the cricket in Surrey Div 5.

At least Dusty Miller, the hired entertainment, was on his usual form. If Wickman hadn't heard his whole routine at the Oval in August he might have really enjoyed that bit...

Martin Crowe Loses Mind

Wickman is indebted to Wickman Jr who has pointed out to him that Martin Crowe is seriously upset after the Trans Tasman Cup or whatever rubbish bauble Aus and NZ play for ended in a drubbing for the Harry Potter of cricket and his IPL rejects.

Crowe says here that this is New Zealand's "worst moment in Test Cricket" before going on to slate John Bracewell and babble on about how Ross Taylor and Jamie How are thick as the excrement of pigs.

Wickman reckons Martin must have a screw loose. If this isn't the worst moment in New Zealand Test cricket history - a second innings scoreline etched in the brains of every English (and Welsh) schoolboy cricket fan - then Wickman's an Aussie.

Even Russell Crowe probably remembers that innings. He no doubt uses it to summon up feelings of great shame and embarrassment when he needs to act out those feelings in some performance or other. Probably.

Get Well Soon

New reaches Wickman that JT is not well. Get well soon John, no one wants a season of the Great Nips wearing the white coat in the 1s... not least of which, the Great Nips himself.

The “should England play in India” debate

Spare a thought for poor Reeky Punting. No sooner has Australia handed the Gavaskar-Border trophy over to Argy-Bhaji, MSD, Sachin and the lads than terrorists cause an outrage in Mumbai. Just imagine. A couple of weeks earlier and he and the Australian team would have been able to hightail it out of there claiming a draw.

Non-Asian teams have a pretty poor record when it comes to turning up to play on the sub-continent. Wickman can’t recall the last time an Australian team played a test series in Pakistan or Sri Lanka. Actually it was March 2004 when the Aussies last played a game in Sri Lanka. Where the Barmy Army see beautiful beaches and the old world charm of the fort at Galle your average Aussie sees a terrorist in every palm tree. Wickman would have to check but he can’t remember the last time a series was played in Pakistan by anyone (no one turns up to watch Test cricket there anyway) apart from India or Bangladesh.

With the growing number of outrages being perpetrated in India, could it soon become, like Pakistan, a no-go for nervous non sub continentals? There’s a huge amount of hokum being written in the papers about whether England should go back to India to start the ludicrously short Test series. Today, Michael Atherton, who writes for the paper that Wickman takes, suggested that England have become paranoid about the threat against them. He says that there’s no history of terrorists targeting cricket in the sub continent so the lads should be all right. Wickman paraphrases it but you get the picture.

What a load of complete tripe Michael. Wickman reckons the fellas that took out 200ish people in Mumbai last week weren’t committed cricket fans who decided to get on with it because there was a lull in Test cricket. Wickman doesn’t think that they chose that particular week to get on with it because they knew the England team would be safely ensconced up North along with the Indian side. Wickman doesn’t think they asked all the people they murdered whether they had played international cricket before they murdered them.

Surely the only issue should be whether some people who play cricket for a living feel safe going to India after having seen a massacre occur in a hotel they had all stayed at. Wickman can’t think of many businesses that would insist on their employees travelling somewhere they didn’t’ want to go to. Why would the ECB? Pontificating now about whether the England boys should get on the plane is a bit rich – even if Michael would be going on the same tour to write about it.

Getting Wick with... Alison

Perhaps the most popular award of the evening at the Club Dinner was the creation of new Vice President for the Wick. Alison has been a Wick fixture since the 1980s - smuggled into the Wick by her beau of the time none other than Il Presidente Bobby Sissen. This photograph was taken on the evening and shows what two old men will do for a bit of publicity...

Christine Sewell - ex secretary and long time 1s scorer took her under her wing and Christine told Wickman that Ali eventually got around to getting interested in scoring and asked her to show her the ropes. "She was a natural and, as you will know, her scorebook is a thing of beauty because she has such lovely writing. She, like me, became fanatical about making sure the book was correct, everything added up and looked good!

"Ali is of course also great company - I have shared many good times with her both at the Club and outside it, and also enjoyed the numerous occasions on which we scored together (Club Day, midweekers, special days etc) although I believe we might have tarnished our reputations as top notch scorers at times because as the tally of drinks delivered to the scorebox mounted our concentration tended to lapse somewhat!

Am so pleased to hear that the Club has made her a VP - she richly deserves it."

Wickman agrees. Here is more detail about the woman behind the multi-coloured pen set and the commanding scorebox presence. Wickman sees no reference to the game when Ali marched out onto the sward at Ewhurst to remonstrate with JT...

1. Nickname(s): The Witch/Wickcher/Witchy Poo/Nano Brain (family nickname)
2. Highest Score for HWRCC: Undoubtedly the 2s top scorer on Saturdays from 1989 onwards until promoted to the 1s circa 2002. Sometimes top scores on Sundays by special appointment
3. Best Bowling for HWRCC: Physicality does not permit raising one's arm above chest height
4. Favourite Away Ground: Addiscombe - despite losing to them and allowing them to get promoted as I was treated like the Queen
5. Favourite Food: Toad in the Hole
6. Favourite Singer/Band: Alanis Morrisette/Coldplay
7. Favourite Movie: WALL-E
8. Favourite Book: My collection of cookery books
9. Favourite Pub/Club: Waggon and Horses in Surbiton. Too ollllld to go clubbing 10. Favourite Crisps:Pork scratchings
11. Favourite DBW Sandwich: Egg - ATS
12. Favourite Quote: "Mine's a G&T"
13. Best Wick Moment: Being made Vice-President
14. Worst Wick Moment: June 1988 - the day the club was razed to the ground a week after I officially joined the Wick - memory robs me of the exact date
15. Invite 3 People to Dinner (Dead or Alive): Maria Callas (ultimate drama queen), Chris Hoy (thighs) and Jeremy Copp (to pay the bill as we would be dining at the Fat Duck)

Agenda for AGM

HAMPTON WICK ROYAL CRICKET CLUB
Bushy Park, Park Road, Hampton Wick, Kingston-upon-Thames, Surrey
Telephone 020-8977 2378

An Annual General Meeting will be held on Thursday 11th December 2008 in the pavilion at 8.00 p.m.

ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING AGENDA

1. Apologies for absence.
2. Approve minutes of AGM held on 20th November 2007.
3. To elect Officers of the Club for the 2009 season.
4. To elect Team Captains for the 2009 season.
5. To elect the Club Committee.
6. To approve the accounts for the year ending 30th March 2008.
7. To approve amendments to HWRCC constitution.
8. To set subscriptions and match fees for the 2009 season.
9. Any Other Business. Tour. 20/20

N Clark
Hon. Secretary Then off for curry... Anyone who wishes to put their name forward for any positions for next year, please contact Wickman, Keith or Clarky to discuss...

Caption Competition

Final Fantasy Cricket results

REVOLUTIONARY

England could host Pakistan Tests

Wickman Junior has found something very interesting. So interesting in fact that he has decided to stop official work for 5 minutes to post this story.

The intro para couldn't be clearer. Perhaps it could be more definitive now that i think about it. But whatever....

Giles Clarke, the ECB chairman, has floated the idea that England could host Test matches for Asian countries who struggle to fill their grounds, or fail to attract opposition in the first place owing to security fears.

This opens a can of worms. Bangladesh versus Kenya at the Oval. Simply: wow. The likes of Steve Tikolo and Thomas Odoyo from Kenya, whom i've described in other media commitments as the "Durham" of the cricketing world taking on the might of Abdu Razzaq. You'd get 30,000 there for a 5 day match - FACT.

As a side note, doesn't Giles Clarke look like a shabby version of Geoff Lawson, the former Aussie superstar?

League Dinner - November 7th

No sooner have we got one Wick related event out of the way but another springs up. Its the League dinner. Friday November 7th is the date and the venue is Sandown Park. It'll be about £30, pay on the night, reasonable food and one year they had a really funny comedian who told black jokes. Luckily he was black. Still felt a bit funny laughing at some of them. Last year David Graveney turned up and bitched about the England players. Went down like a cup of cold sick. But Fudgey at least got to pick up a shield and runners up pennant for the 2s. This year we'll be picking up two trophies as you know and probably a batting prize for the absent Fudgey who topped last year's 2nd xi run chart... If you want to go please RSVP to Alison quicksmart.

Club Dinner 8 - Club Man of the Year

Ah Club Man of the Year. If you think of the Oscars most people are interested in which lovey is going to pick up best actor and crap on for five minutes about how their dear old mum fed them at the breast until they were six years old to give them the confidence to pretend to be someone else for a living. Then some skinny sort in a ridiculous frock will get up on stage and blither on and weep until the producer manages to drown her out with the advert music. In the same way, batsman and bowler are the best actor and actress; player of the year is probably best film. erm. probably.

If you are still with me at this point do hang on. The pain will eventually go away, Wickman promises.

Club Man of the Year is something like Best Director. It's not the glamour award. Nope it's not about the runnssssss or wickets. It's about what goes on off the pitch. It's about every time you look around, that person is there. Often not leading the charge. But there. Natwest weekend that person will be there. They'll be at all the socials. They'll probably have done something to put the social you are at together. Perhaps its only organising the food one week. Maybe the next time its the invites. Or the music. Collecting the cash. Something.

This year Lownsy won Club Man of the Year by a country mile. This correspondent can't think of a facet of club life that he was not involved in. He played a sackful of games. He put massive amounts of time into getting things publicised, getting things fixed, getting socials to happen. Every time a call went out to turn up to the club and do a bit, Lownsy was there. And this year on top of all the "minor" bits and pieces he gets up to and pies he has fingers in he organised the Club Dinner itself. At the club. And not only did he coordinate it, he actually did 90 per cent of the physical work too.

It would have been far far easier to organise it at a local hotel, turn up, collect the hats and coats and enjoy the evening. Instead he put himself out so that the club could make money. Frankly this correspondent thought the evening knocked spots off the Sandown and Kingston events and will now set the standard for future events. In a post coming to a blog near you soon, Wickman will reveal how much money was raised, who donated what and who else we have to thank for that evening and then we will be able to put a figure on Dom's contribution. And it will be very, very impressive.

[One of the greatest Wick Men of all, Neville Marshall, presented the award to Dominic but not a single photo of the moment exists. So here's Dom winning a competition to see who looks the most like Leggsy... beating Leggsy]

Club Dinner 7 - Player of the Year

Player of the year is the primo cricketing award. This year competition was stiff. Joey picked up fielding and bowling which was pretty special. Wrighty came in for consideration and nomination. What a season for the dark spectacled one. Runnnnnsss, 307 of them at 50 and, mid season, a couple of revelatory bowling performances to go with (Sisso would have been proud of Fudgey bowling him for 17 unchanged overs against the Vandals). He even found time to impregnate his wife too although technically that must have been when he was supposed to be netting in February...

And then there was Charlie High. Scourge of 3xi bowling attacks everywhere. And some 2xi attacks too. Runs on runs. As mentioned elsewhere it was death or glory stuff and when it came off... early on in the season there was talk of a sixes league. Charlie had destroyed it inside a couple of games getting into double figures before the end of May probably. What a season. Go on and build on it my son.

And there was Fudgey's batting to contend with too. And his fielding. And his captaincy, taking the 2s up and out of the Fullers in back to back promotion places. Phenomenal stuff.

But Jimmy C picked up player of the year. He did it by showing what, joking aside, a bit of belief can do. Getting over his slight chagrin that there wasn't a regular 2s berth for him he threw himself into the 3s with guts and gusto. He made it difficult to get him out. Only Ol' Soft Hands and Charles High esq scored more 3xi runs. But then Ol' Soft Hands and Charles High weren't the leading 3s wicket taker to boot. And, throwing in Sunday wickets, they weren't the leading wicket taker in the club. Clarky will wager that no one else bowled as many overs either. He also caught more than Bob Nudd does in a year during the cricket season.

What he also did, like last year's Club Man, was to revitalise a team. Actually, an institution. He picked up the Sunday experience, dusted it down, bought it a new suit, shirt, tie and some fancy shoes and he sent it out the door, full of confidence. All of a sudden people wanted to play Sunday cricket again. A really impressive season all round. You couldn't ask much more.

Wickman salutes Wickman Jr. Damn. That cat's out of the bag then...

[Here club legend Mickey McMahon presents the shield to Jimmy. Chairman Nips demonstrates to an off camera Clarky how to make a bunny rabbit shadow puppet]

Aussie Invincibility Slipping? Or is Michael Clarke a bottler?

It wasn't so long ago that Australia were deemed to be largely invincible. There's always some question raised though, when they they go to India. Mostly because they don't always win there owing to the pitches being uncondusive for bullying quicks with bristling moustaches and prancing pony fast bowlers. And don't try playing a couple of spinners because Tendulkar, Dravid and VVS are the best players of spin since Reginald Bosanquet said "here you go see if you can play that delivery".

It's a sad indication of the times when Michael Clarke

pulls a sickie

just before a big game. That's a big enough indicator that all might not be well. But look what the big girl's blouse is wearing in the photo. CATCHING GLOVES.

Now some may say that this is a bit rich coming from the close personal friend of a wicketkeeper, but Wickman reckons Clarky should always field with keeping gloves on because he couldn't catch an STD without them. But an outfielder, wearing gloves, in practice?

What does this mean for the game? Australia have obviously lost it. A retailer of cricket gear describes similar gloves as "building confidence" because the ball doesn't get away. But how confident are you going to feel when Ging Ganguly fences at a Brett Lee snorter and its shooting towards your likkle unprotected pinkies at 170kph? You are going to think "I wish I put my gloves on for this". But probably Clarke will be in his hotel bed anyway, complaining of a runny botty. And you can bet he didn't get it from the hotel's vidaloo. Oh no. He's a bottler... scared of Ishant Sharma digging one in his ribs or having to take a catch off that burly Yuvraj cove...

William Wright

Wrighty, shockingly, missed the club dinner. Apparently Mrs Wright deliberately gave birth a whole month early to stop him going! Dear me. (Actually Wickman made that up). Congratulations to Emma and Wrighty. Wrighty is seen here in scrubs. It was almost certainly his best delivery of the season.

Little William Cole Sayce Golbourn Fudge Clark Soppit High Iqbal Donnelly Powell Webster Wright is seen here dreaming of delivering his first off break at the Wick. He's roughly the same size as Delbert so as long as he can develop the famous pivot...

Club Dinner 6 - Fantasy Cricket Results

Almost as important as player of the year was the fantasy cricket results. The MVP was worked out by total number of points divided by games played to give the player most likely to deliver a bucketload of points. This left Zam in a good position after some of his bowling returns this season, especially the eight for. Well done Zam.

The old Wick adage, you've got to back yourself, didn't pay off for the Fantasy manager of the year, David Fudgey Fudge who didn't back himself and kicked himself as he smashed fifty after fifty. His scandalously quiet second half of the season couldn't be down to not wanting to hand the trophy to Julian Ratnage can it? Did he really only get just enough runs to top the league and then breathe a big sigh of relief when Webbo got rid of Student Ray at Shepperton to confirm his top spot?

And which umpire triggered Student Ray? None other than the mighty Ratnage!

[Here Lownsy attempts to distract Fudgey's attention from the trophy before doing a runner]

Club Dinner 5 - Batting Prize

It was a vintage year for Wick batsmen. Three scored 500 runs or thereabouts. Charlie High just smashed it all over Surrey this year and if he hadn't been run out by Zo at one point might have set some sort of Wick record. 2 tons, 3 fifties. If he didn't have a marked tendency to get big runs or no runs he would have been a shoe in this year.

Hibby displayed his sacks full of natural talent in the 2s this year. His 151* has been eulogised on this blog and in bars up and down the county. He also smashed another 50 against the Woodies. In between he almost eradicated the sweep off middle stump to the straight ball.

Once again Matt Davies displayed this season why he is still the undisputed best player in the club. Despite perhaps not notching up the big scored he was due, he still assembled close to 500 runs at more than 30 and was the stand out performer in a year when no 1s bat notched a ton. If it wasn't for the winner he would have been a shoe in.

Boney batted beautifully, as Boney is wont to do. Annoyingly for his many fans the absolute storm of a season that he threatens to deliver at some point did not quite materialise this year. Nevertheless he top scored for the 1s with a late 87 and delivered some lightening contributions at other times.

But the winner was a nailed on certainty from the moment the season kicked off. Fudgey just never looked like getting out. At times his treatment of opposition bowlers reminded your correspondent of Ronnie O'Sullivan playing left handed so contemptuous was it. Despite him getting a ton at Kingstonian's his best innings that Wickman witnessed was at Weybridge Vandals. Set 180 from 43 someone needed to inject pace into the chase. Fudgey looked at five or six balls and then scored off the next 30 consecutively to destroy the opposition attack and reduce the one Vandals spectator to deep depression. The opposition skipper held some sort of group psychological huddle after the game to restore the confidence of his shattered team. 533 at 44. Nice.

[Here Fudgey picks up the trophy for Bat of 2008 from Nips who scored almost 470 runs less - Clarky was going to ask Charlie B to present the award but screwed up]

Club Dinner 4 - Bowler of the Year

There were some cracking performances with the ball this year and some great season long campaigns. Once again Fordy took wickets for fun - 30odd at less than 11 would be a phenomenal result most seasons if only Forday hadn't taken more like 50 a season or so back. Zam missed a few games this year and his figures don't look as good as they might but 8-34 was the season's best return at the Wick in any format.

Playing the most cricket this year certainly helped Jimmy C. Jimmy's use of the gym floor to generate pace in the winter had some of us hopping and hoping he could learn to pitch the thing up. Not only did he do that he bowled with real control and delivered some opposition shattering performances for the thirds.

But the bowling prize went to the most feared bowler in Fullers League Division One - the big man Joe Ewen. Certainly the quickest and most life threatening bowler in the club by some margin, Joey added accuracy to his armoury this year. For a quicky to go for so few runs per wicket - less than 12 - is a testament to fire and control. Truly inspirational stuff. Well done Joe and congratulations on an excellent season.

Sadly OD must have ODed on something because he missed the big man picking up the bowling trophy from Ian Geddes. Here's Nips handing out his team of the year certificate.

Club Dinner 3 - Fielder of the Year

Big Joey picked up the award for fielder of the year. Standing at silly mid off to Zam all season when he wasn't piling in from the Millennium Wood end and ripping oppo bats to bits he was an intimidating figure. Hands like buckets. Doesn't drop them. And he beat off stiff competition in the category from Mr Experience Derek Soppitt, Fudgey who took everything he needed to this year and executed a couple of textbook run outs and James "Jimmy C" Cameron who has plucked some absolute beauties on Saturday and Sunday too. Here Joey picks up the award from Mark Webster allegedly a mean fielder "back in the day".

Club Dinner 2

There were sound cricketing reasons for being there last night. A tradition begun last year was the selection and announcing of team of the year. The team of the year, as you will know, is the twelve players picked to form a well balanced side based on performances during the season. Wickman thanks Fudgey for the following words describing the side...

1) In a season that saw 4 or 5 new faces join the 1xi, the skipper again lead from the front with outstanding performances, culminating in 498 league runs @ 31.13. This impressive haul included four 50s, of which 2 came in the last two nail-biting encounters of the season. A model of consistency, he has now racked more than 1700 runs in the last 4 seasons and remains the best bat in the club. Matthew Davies

2) A much needed experienced head in young a young 3rd XI squad, he could often be found having a quiet word in the bowler's ear at mid-off. A real club favourite, Ol' Soft Hands scored 329 runs @ 29.91, including two 50s and valuable contributions in mammoth partnerships with both Charlie High and Adam Crane. Adrian Risman

3) Another skipper setting the example, especially early season when he scored 262 runs in the month of May alone. A wrist injury in August halted his charge for Fullers League Honours however, three 50s and one 100 meant he finished 2008 with 533league runs and top run scorer in Div 1 2nd xi. As well as his performances with the bat, David continued to learn in his role as captain and improved tactically throughout 2008. David Fudge

4) The most talented player in the club took his time to get going this year, however still contributed massively to the 1xi's push for promotion. Exemplary behind the stumps, he averaged only 4 byes a game and managed to snaffle an impressive 16 catches & 6 stumpings along the way. Add that to 432 runs @ 30.86 and this was a model season for any young expiring wicketkeeper/batsman to follow. Adam O'Mahoney +

5) They call him Mr Average, and that's not a reflection on his famous post match checked shirt & sandal combo, but more to do with the fact that he is harder to dislodge than Rahul Dravid on a flat deck in Mumbai. 4 not outs would have been 5, if AJ hadn't had run him out with the aid of his "runner" Clarky in the 1st league game way back at the beginning of May. 307 runs followed that @ a massive 51.17 and his innings in the promotion deciding final game will live long in the memory. Alex Wright

6) You can play a long time in a cricket career and never have the privilege of witnessing what the HWRCC 2xi did at Ripley on a sultry June afternoon. Despite being sledged "for only having one shot" Paul Hibberd continued to pull, glide, nudge, blast and caress his way to magnificent 151* at the expense of a bowling attack that could only bowl "one type of ball". Committed as ever the talented older brother of the even more talented younger Hibbo, scored 409 league runs for the 1 & 2xis at a healthy average of 34.08. Paul Hibberd

7) Wham, Bam, Thank-you Mam!! What can we say about Charlie High's season that hasn't already been said. The brawn that Charlie has displayed in recent times, was matched this year with a degree of thought and a sense that he has finally worked out his game and the areas to score his runs. Charlie bludgeoned his way to 499 league runs, at a strike rate in excess of 150. Two huge hundreds and three quick fire 50s left Charlie with a club high average of 55.44. Charlie High

8) Mr dependable and another season to remember for this experienced campaigner. A new bat from ebay and new book on the "art of spin bowling" just goes to prove that you can teach an old dog new tricks. A captain's dream, Derek Soppitt excels in every facility of the game. All of his 6 not outs were crucial in either laying a platform or leading the side home and his modest 176 runs where worth double in the context of how they were scored. Add that contribution with the willow to 13 wickets @ just over 10 with the ball and many important catches and 2008 was another great season for the pocket rocket. Derek Soppitt

9) Talk it up!! Passion and desire, matched with improving skills and ability are a dangerous combination. This was displayed in abundance by the 3rd's vice captain and Sunday skipper in what for him will be a season never to forget. 226 nuggety runs and 34 league wickets made Jimmy C a massive fantasy points scorer and the 3xi's most valuable player in 2008. Jimmy also ran the Sunday XI with pride and determination and the club recognises your efforts in what has been a successful season all-round. James Cameron

10) Cut this guy open and Magenta runs through his veins, the longest serving member of the "new guard" and one of the club's original colts. If something, somewhere has happened on a cricket pitch you can bet your bottom dollar he has seen it. The league's most feared bowler, Big Joey clocked up express MPHs on his way to 34 league wickets @ a miserly 11.41 a piece. Experienced, aggressive, yet a gentleman in the bar, Joe is a shining example of how this great game should be played. Joe Ewen

11) A wet season meant conditions were ideal for this talented left arm bowler, yet the skill to exploit such conditions is the reason that David Ford picked up 34 league wickets @ 10.97. A model of consistency in recent years, Fordy has picked up a mammoth 158 wickets in just 4 seasons and his performances are living proof that line, length and patience can triumph. David Ford

12th Man) It is purely a case that this player sets such high standards for himself with both the bat & ball that he hasn't quite snuck into the starting XI despite another fruitful season. 247 runs and 33 wickets are healthy figures for a 1xi all-rounder and although Kamran may have liked more runs with the bat, his contribution and excellent availability have made him an automatic choice for the 1st team skipper in the last two years. Kamran Raza [Here's a pic of the Wick xi + a cupla Websters]

Club Dinner 1

Crikey. What a night. WHAT A NIGHT. Brilliantly organised and delivered by the fantastic Dominic Lown and Mr and Mrs Lown. Catering spot on, venue spot on (who has seen the Wick looking that good?), wine spot on (ahem), company spot on etc etc. The whole thing was spot on. Well done Dommy and to Matty D, Charlie and Clarky for able assistance. Haven't had that much fun at the Wick since the end of the season!

The Man from Del Monte - he says "yes"!

Not that Wickman ever doubted it, but the Man from Del Monte has said yes. If you were down at the Wick on Sunday morning at 10.15am you would have seen a delegation arrive and a nervous Chairman Maoples usher them around. Far from checking the quality of our citrus and other fruits though they were assessing our suitability for inclusion in the Surrey Champ. Well, boys, its on the nod official that we're in. Surrey Championship cricket is coming to a Wick near you.

So now Cranesy will be able to get ducks at a completely new standard of cricket. Should we put the rate up?

Ducks when playing elsewhere...

Possibly one of the most irritating things to happen to any cricketer must be when they are drafted into a friend's or work side as a ringer and they get a duck. Just imagine the pre-match chat. "Yes mate, I have a ringer, he plays league cricket for Hampton Wick". In your mind you build up the entire week before the innings thinking "easy runs" and "I can impress the bird from marketing with a rapid fifty". But then... disaster. Having towed your coffin into the changing room, donned your stash and stridden to the middle you get castled first ball. Hideous. A feeling of pure hatred for everyone and a desire to beat the strip with your gloved fists is almost totally swamping you. And the ribbing. It's like someone striking your temple with a pickaxe.

Has this happened to any of you this season? Feel like confessing? You know it makes sense. Best get it out here...

Wick send Downsiders dowwwwwwn. Final Sunday Report by Matty D

On Sunday 14th September the Wick season 2008 drew to a close. And like the season, the day ended in success, with Shaun Whinney leading the Sunday side to a hard grafted victory against a competant Downsiders team.

First impressions were intimidating. Downsiders' openers actually did some warm ups. And one bowler actually had a run up! This wasn't what you correspondant fancied on another morning after the night before.

Whinney: We're batting Matty. Where do you want to bat?
MattyD: I don't care mate. You da boss.
Whinney: OK. You go in 3.
MattyD: The ol' glamour position. Perfect.

We opened up with Mr Kemp and Mr Whinney putting no a superb 45 for the opening wicket, coming at 4s. This was characterised by some wayward, but lively, opening bowling that was often bludgeoned by Kemp in particular. Kemp fell caught at cover, making his haighest score for the Wick (against external opposition). Davies came, Davies missed the ball, Parkes gave it out.

Derrick and Whinney then added some more before Whinney was caught at midwicket off a classic slow dobber that seems to do the Wick so many times. So much so in fact that I shall be working on my dobbing bowling pre-season, because if they can do it why can't I?

The wickets began to tumble. Derrick put on a decent 24, and Kirk hung around for 39 balls before finally getting a run. His 15 turned out to be vital in a low scoring game (even theugh the track was much better than this). Vader scored 4, a massive effort on his part and the Wick folded on 134 off 40. Below par, but something to bowl at.

DBW's final tea of the season. There were no tears. No-one cares that much. Egg, Ham, Cheese. Cucumber. ATS. 5/10. A tired effort.

In response, Graham and Splinter opened up. Graham on paper was the senior man, but despite bowling well, couldnt find the consistency we were after. In contrast, Linter made the openers play more often, and was just threatening enough to feel he was the more likely to make the breakthrough. t proved to be so, with Maloj taking a ripping catch at gully, and then another being taken by Parkes at short on the off side.

Back in the game, Whinney turned the screw, bringing on Vader and Maloj to toss it up a bit and ask some nervous questions of the Downsiders. Maloj removed the talente opener with a beauty of a slower ball and before you knew it they were 6 down.

The Downsiders' skipper then joined the party, with a controlled inning of 35, playing sensible and calm cricket under some pressure. He howeevr was fooled by a skippers slower ball, that was snaffled by Debut Dave at mid on and the rest of the wickets fell like dominoes. Soppitt and Davies took experienced catches in the outfield, and Davies ended the season with an efficient run out of the #11. Special mention too for a return to form for Mr Laight, whos runs proved vital and controlled death bowling kept us in the game when their skipper threatened to make it look easy.

Congratulations to PE Man Shaun for a 100% record - which actually makes you the best captain at the club. The same stat makes Clarky the worst.

Wick

Clarky tells me that his captaincy record at The Wick is Played 3, Won 1 (Old Sluts - fcuking killed 'em), Lost 1 (shame), Abandoned 1. That's a 50 per cent record

Season Report – HWRCC 2xi - by Wickman

A second straight promotion for the Wick 2s delivered by the skin of the side’s teeth with three straight wins to finish the season was just reward for a season which at times touched stunning. With hindsight aggressive declarations earlier in the season would probably have led to a slightly less fraught final week to the season and even greater success – but then that final weekend wouldn’t have tasted so sweet. It wouldn’t be Wick if we didn’t push it to the wire.

Wickman is not sure could have predicted that the standard in this division would only be a half, not a whole, step up from last year. Looking forward in March you had to assume that the cricket we were playing in the bottom division of Fullers would come in for some scrutiny at the next level up and that we would be undone and sent, if not packing, then certainly to look for some wrapping paper, gift tags and frilly bows.

In the event during that first part of the season that in years past held the Wick ransom to the University terms we simply exploded out of the batting blocks and it was difficult to see how anyone would ever beat us. Horley watched us pile on the runs like a relapsed slimmer scoffing a month’s supply of cream buns round the back of a Greggs outlet. Kingstonian celebrated an early wicket but were then made to toil like old aged pensioners at the harvest when all the boys were away at war and Ripley, like so many Morpeth householders, were made to look miserable by the rising tide of Wick runs.

That we were only able to take ten wickets once in those three games was not a criticism of our bowlers or fielders although it’s true to say that we have bowled and fielded better before and since. No, safety first in May and June will keep you North of the Wooden Spoon is a fair summation of how our oppos treated the early part of the season. Wickman supposes if you are on the wrong end of a shoeing early doors you probably think there is a great valour in a draw. Perhaps, you think, it builds character. Perhaps, you imagine, you will be in the wash up at the end of the season and any points needlessly ceded to the opposition at this point may well come back to haunt you.

For whatever reason we found that the only major difference between the two divisions was that our oppositions would be quite willing to block out for 40 overs rather than the more usual 10 of the division below. This correspondent really was close to thinking that Saturday cricket was not worth the bother, not worth the sacrifice of an afternoon in the company of one’s loved ones if this was what the good burghers of Surrey were about.

When we then went away to Lingfield – scene of one of the better games of 2007 – and failed to take the final wicket despite having 66 balls to do it – Wickman would be lying if he didn’t say that he thought that the Wick had blown it before even July had begun. That was a depressing journey back to HQ. 66 balls. Wickman estimates that if 16 might have hit the stumps he would be pleased enough to smoke a cigar at the memory. But ball after depressing ball passed wide of the stumps and there was nothing doing for a side that was hungry to win but, like a rat in a lab experiment, couldn’t find the way out of the maze and off towards the food.

Brilliant then that in between Merrow turned up to ours, won the toss, batted, collapsed and then watched us flay them around the Wick like an Austrian Dad in a cellar and head to the bar early. Ditto eventual league winners Stoke D’Ab, who batted themselves into a dominant position before spunking the lot well before the game had developed into the sort of foaming sensual abandon that it deserved given that the two teams finished only 10 points adrift of each other at the end of the season.

July saw a relative cruise through the teams that finished in the bottom half of the table. The boys dealt with Weybridge, Churt and Caterham easily despatched, Churt only bringing 8 men which always seemed optimistic on their behalf. Byfleet set The Wick 182 in 43 overs to provide the only real challenge of the period. The boys chased particularly well in this period and everyone was chipping in with quick, confident runs.

Which was why the mega collapses of Woodmansterne and Battersea were quite as mystifying as they were. How could largely the same line up fail to even pass 100 in a game? How could this team drop simple catches and be so shabby in the field when they had been so positive? It proved to be a blip because following the rain off at Chobham (how important would the result of THAT game have been given that we finished the season only two points in front of them) we then won three straight and never looked like losing any of the games.

The secret this year was in a relatively settled team. 10 players played more than 10 games. Only six played only one game. Seven batsmen contributed 150 runs or more. Fudgey made 550 at 44 (another phenomenal season and ranking him at No1 in the division), Hibby 311 at 77 with that magnificent 151* at Ripley just sublime in the memory (the third highest score made in any league) and Wrighty 307 at 51. Coley (250+) and Golby (230+) both put in very respectable chunks of runs too. Tommy D, Powelly, Duncan, Junaid and Del all took 10+ wickets at respectable averages in the early teens. Powelly took the season’s best 4-10 early on and if there was any slight eyebrow to be raised this year it was how such talented line ups didn’t get five at any point in the year. Clark managed a respectable 19 dismissals this year and improved as the decks became harder. Soppitt and Cole made a formidable spin twin partnership towards the end of the season and Del, as is his way, made very valuable contributions with the bat at important times.

It was, above all, a team performance in the final weeks of the season, that told. If the first half of the season had been about individual performances and big numbers, the run in was about grit, fight and backs to the wall stuff. This correspondent will fondly recall the fielding performance against CMO which was a grassed half chance away from perfect. The bowling was extraordinary – targeted, nagging, too good. If their visiting umpire had given a very plausible LBW they’d have scored no more than 50 against us. The noise, support, banter, camaraderie and general sheer enjoyment in that game was enough to raise hairs on the back of your neck. And this was in THE high pressure game of the season when a loss would have consigned us to another year trying to get up.

The final game will live long in the memory. We put in a very strong performance which should be the template for Fullers cricket. A well paced innings from Golby and a brutal one from Wrighty, both fulfilling their promise and talent, set up a big score in 43 overs. Then, on the strangest of decks, we simply wore down the opposition by bowling straight at the stumps and, once a few nerves had left the side, catching everything else.

It was a big ask to have got through at the first attempt and frankly no mean feat. That we didn’t end the season as champions and didn’t smash everyone in sight may just have taught us how to win again and about how to get through next year. Wickman can’t wait to see what the new season holds.

Huge congratulations to Fudgey for his 109 and innovative skippering, Hibby for that innings, Tommy for topping the wickets table and Powelly for backing him up. But there were so many other important performances over the season. Junaid’s slower ball was genius. Duncan’s LBWs at Lingfield to get him four for. Wrighty’s immense 72 and Golb’s gluey 66 at Shepperton. Delboy’s 66 to bury Whiteley. Nathan’s absolutely hard-on inducing 54 at Kingstonian. Charlie’s 69* against Caterham. Clarky’s all round day against CMO including Inspector Gadget catches. Powelly’s 4-10 vs Horley including some ripping reverse swing. Tommy destroying S&L’s top order with 4-21. Coley’s 3-3 against Churt. Lownsy ripping 4 out at Kingstonian and bringing "the wrestler" to the Wick celebration lexicon. Shauny’s opening spell at Woodies. Hirschy’s catch to give Fudgey a wicket at Weybridge. Saycey emerging from someone’s back garden before taking a blinder at Shepperton. Unsworth’s runs at Woodies. O’D’s important c&b against Byfleet. Tid ripping out CMO’s gun bat. Webbo bowling the perfect spell in the same game. AJ’s exemplary 50 against Horley and criminal run out (using Clarky as a runner) of Wrighty. Hilly getting the Stoke D’Ab skipper. Mackie’s keeping when Clarky was on holiday. Hodgy smashing the stumps to pieces at Shepperton. Even Toogood played.

It’s almost enough to make you want to play another season…

Hampton Wick Sunday XI - Season highlights

Matty D voted Sunday player of the season by Jimmy C

With the weather causing no shortage of havoc at the moment, and therefore the matches coming to a close, it is time to reflect on the season just past. Wickman Junior has had the pleasure of watching all of this year's sunday games, and has experienced the highs and lows like any other wick fan.

For the record, the Sunday team finished with a record of 9 wins and 4 losses. A superb effort. And like any fan of the Wick, there were a number of highlights to pick out.

• Junaid's 5/15 against Ashtead
• Our 3, and then 4 run wins against Nepotists and Teddington Town. Jimmy C and Whinny claiming vital wickets in the last overs.
• Graham Tong's 6/17 against Teddington (wow!)
• Danny Lee's 109 against Hampton Hill, including 9 sixes. MS breaking his nose. or:
• Cransey's blistering 78 runs against the Village XI.

Regardless of these highlights, it has been such an enjoyable season. Special thanks need to go to, in no particular order:

1. Matty D - A pillar of knowledge and strength throughout the entire season. Effectively pulling the strings while Jimmy C tried to captain was no mean feat. His runs and crucial advice in the clutch moments, helped the wick to win a number of these games. A pleasure to watch. MOS
2. Junaid and Whinney - Worked tirelessly all season, and played with infectious enthusiasm (no matter what the conditions)
3. Sisso - for such brilliant banter and story-telling after the matches.
4. Sam Kemp for his banter behind the stumps, and positivity.
5. Colts - Harry Copeland, the MJs and Hirshy's - really stepped up this season and made invaluable contributions. The future of the Wick is in good hands.
6. Dominic Lowns - for organising games. You're a legend - FACT
7. Vaider - great spin bowling all season. Must have clocked up 30 wickets mate!
8. Alison and DBW - for making Jimmy C's job a lot easier.

So, with only one match to go, it is time to sign off for season 2008. Jimmy C is passing the reins for next weekend's match to Shaun Whinney, who will be making his debut as captain. Jimmy will be in the States chasing, what he describes, as the "ultimate" larger set.

In sad news, Jimmy C has decided to step down as captain of the Sunday side after this season. Much in the manner of Michael Vaughan's departure from the England set up, he felt that he "just knew" that the time was right to leave the post. He told me in a exclusive interview for hwrcc blogspot, that he was "honoured to have led the club" on Sundays and "very sad to be stepping down" after his first season as skipper. He said that he still "believes" and that the Wick is THE BEST CLUB IN THE WORLD.

From me, Wickman Junior, that's just about it as well. The blog has very much been my outlet to express everything good and decent about the Wick this season. I hope my posts have been enjoyable to read, and that you've all learnt something. And as i wipe the tears from my eyes (cutting onions, ats), it's been emotional.

I'll see you next season.

Wickman Junior SUNDAY WICK RECORD (as below)

HWRCC vs Ashtead

Wick win by 50 runs. Ashtead bowled out for 67 runs. Junaid 5/15. Vaider 2 wickets. Matty D 48 runs

HWRCC vs Kingston

Wick win by 100 runs. Golby 68 runs. Junaid 3 for. Vaider 2 wickets

HWRCC vs Nepotists

Wick win by 3 runs. Whinney takes 2/12 off 8 overs, including last ball heroics, where they needed 11 off the last over.

HWRCC vs Teddington Town

Wick win by 4 runs. Jimmy C taking two wickets off the last over to win the match.

HWRCC vs Teddington

Wick lose by 10 runs. Whinney and Jimmy C take blinding catches. Tong takes 6/17 and Matty D – 54 runs.

HWRCC vs Sutton

Wick win by 59 runs. Matty D makes 71, Whinney 43. Jimmy C takes 3 for 2.

HWRCC vs Hampton Hill

Wick lose by 1 wicket. 10-man wick. Danny Lee – 100, Harry Copeland 47. Jimmy C 4 wickets. MS goes to hospital – broken nose.

HWRCC vs. Colts coaches

Wick win by 30 runs. Tony Copeland goes mental. Colts annoy Jimmy C

HWRCC vs Deando Ruxley

Wick lose by two wickets. A tale of two pitches.

HWRCC vs Crossbats

Wick win by 50 runs. Whinney and Chris MJ making 60 runs each

HWRCC vs Village XI

Wick win on Duckworth Lewis. Cransey 78 and Matty D 60

HWRCC vs NPL

Wick lose by 2 wickets. International player gives us thumping.

HWRCC vs Old Spens

Wick win by 40 runs. Maloj 65 and Junaid 25. Clarkey 2/9 and Jimmy C 3/9.

A Crazzle and the celebration

Somewhere over the winter too much wrestling was watched. Here Cransey celebrates his five for on Saturday evening. Imagine the fingers waved from side to side in the wrestling style... its almost as bad as McGrath and Warne holding the ball up for a five for. Purlease.

Next you will be telling me that Webbo does 7 star jumps and a "hallo mammy" as part of his standard lbw appeal.

Shocking

Think the cricket season has finished? Not on your nelly!

For those of you "still believing" in 2008, and don't want the season to be over just yet, there are still more games to go.

Starting this Sunday, the Wick are at home to the Fleet Street Rollers. Game kicks off at 1pm (meet at 12.30pm). If you want to end your season on a high by getting runnnsss or a hatful of wickets, then drop jimmy C a note at jamesc@consol.co.uk or call 0789 135 1404 to find out more.

Matty D, Graham Smith, Jo Hirsh, Imran, Maloj and the skipper have been confirmed places already. So if you want to play cricket - 40 overs a side - and enjoy some britany's after the game, the time is now.

Wickman Junior

Club Dinner - Saturday 4th October

After an amazing season for all 3 teams, the end of season club dinner is a perfect way to reflect on the last 8 months. The dinner is being held at the club this year, with tickets priced at £30 each. The dinner will be limited to 80 people due to space, and Alison has already sold 15 tickets..It will commence with a drinks reception from 7.15pm followed by food, speeches and entertainment. Tickets are available this saturday at the chairman v's president XI game or by emailing Dom (dominic_lown@hotmail.com) Wives and girlfriends are more then welcome! Tables will be of 10 people. If you would like to nominate yourself as a table captain let me know. All money raised from the night goes straight to the club and the new nets fund. So book the baby sitter, dig out the DJ and persuade the Wickwag. Look forward to seeing you there.

Wick 3rd XI promoted to Surrey Championship

Final day spanking of Battersea secures deserved promotion for Wick 3rd XI

HWRCC - 259/8 off 47.5 overs (Charlie High - 80-odd runs)

defeated

Battersea Ironsides - 160 all out (Crane 5 for 34, Jimmy C 3/32)

What a brilliant day. Even though it is now a few days since we secured promotion to the Surrey Championship, i'm still pinching myself that this has all happened. Hampton Wick's 3rd XI team, following their first foray into the league, have been promoted at the first attempt. Lively!

After a season of more ups and downs than Devine Brown on Hugh Grant on the sunset strip, it all came down to this moment: if we secured at least a winning draw against Battersea Ironsides we'd be promoted to the Surrey Championship. Destiny was in the hands of 10 wick boys + Risso. The question was: could we produce under the pressure?

Having arrived at the club early on Saturday morning to listen to how hung over Fordy was from his previous night's endeavours (i really just wanted a bacon sandwich....but this is the Wick i guess so you pretend to listen, don't you?), the anticipation amongst the team was growing. Despite concern from some quarters in the team that we might be building this game up too much (i wonder why?), the time soon came to head over to Kingsfield, warm up and calm the nerves - there was no time to even analyse if we were overhyping it.

After a few choice words from Captain Lloyd ("enjoy the occasion, believe, etc"), we were as pumped as we were ever going to get and ready to start the match. While some players talked about the mathematics of winning draws, losing draws, etc, there was a genuine belief that if we played strong and positive cricket, we could give this Battersea side a run for their money. And this was a good Battersea side by the way.

So on a muggy but beautiful Wick afternoon, Battersea won the toss and sent us in to bat. This was probably not a bad result all things considered, as our history of chasing totals this season has not been that impressive. The previous week was still fresh in our mind, and that we just managed to scrape home chasing 139 was potentially an omen that batting first was the way forward. It also meant that if we got a big score, we would surely put the game beyond Battersea's reach. This was our best and deepest batting team of the season, so there were no excuses.

Risso and Lloydy kicked off the innings for the Wick, and the runs soon flowed. Perfect. Risso only knows one way to bat and that is: hit out or get out. Luckily for Risso in the early overs, the chances for Battersea were few and far between, and we were ticking the scoreboard over at about 4 runs every 6 balls. With the assistance of Lloydy from the other end, we had soon reached 50 for no loss after 14 overs and things were going nicely. Perfect.

But this was no ordinary Battersea side, and they clearly hadn't come to just make up the numbers. Soon enough we realised we were in for a tough match. Lloydy was bowled all ends up to a fuller pitched delivery and Cransey, coming in at number 3, didn't last much longer, being caught at square leg to a simple catch despite making a promising start to his innings (ats). When Risso was cleaned bowled a handful of overs later, the boys on the boundary line started to get worried. At 60-odd for three we needed to knuckle down and get some runs. So who would stand up?

Enter Charlie High.

Having performed so well with the bat this season, and after getting out so cheaply on a number of occasions, the question of whether we could get a big total was simlpe: which Charlie High would we get today? Luckily for us, it was a Charlie High who, with surprising maturity, scored runs.

The arrival of Charlie High and Duncan to the crease, and their subsequent partnership, was a massive turning point in the match (though not the biggest). Putting on a 100-odd run partnership, the pair were simply awesome, and made Battersea sweat through every over. Charlie, when the pressure was on, rose to the challenge. Hitting 4s and pushing 1s and 2s, it seemed like he would bat all day (although that never happens). Duncan, from the other end, just needed to hold his end up during the Charlie onslaught, a job he did magnificently well. We had soon reached 170-3 off 30-odd overs and looked set to get a big total. We now needed to turn the screws.

Despite the inevitable removal of Charlie and Duncan, Zohac, Matty O'd, Jimmy C, HC and TC all chipped in to help finish off the innings. On a decent Kingsfield track, we had reached 259 for 8 at after 47.5 overs. A bloody good total. Over to you Battersea.

Teas - not that a lot of us were focused on this aspect of the day, it must be said that this was a shabby offering from DBW. I would expect more from the Chinese re-education camps that some Tibetan protesters may have frequented over the years. The food wasn't even ready for eating when we arrived, and some went as far as to say that the selection of food was pure "gash". I would agree. 5/10.

The total had been set and now we had to defend it. This was the time to deliver, and there was no room for travellers (although there is always one to be fair). Even run would count and every wide / no ball would be crucial. We were determined. This was our time. Believe!

During the huddle, the players talked about leaving nothing left in the tank at the end of the match and to put everything we had into it. A pumped Dominic Lown did just that with his first over. With a rip snorter of a yorker, Lownsy smashed their openers stumps apart. You could see how much the wicket meant to him. It was writ large on his face, and you couldn't help but feel inspired. 1 down and 9 to go. COME ON YOU WICK!

However, as pumped as we were, the wickets didn't come quickly. Matty O'D, teaming up with Lownsy from the other end, struggled to find his length and couldn't get the next breakthrough we were looking for. And while Lownsy was bowling as well as ever, Battersea had managed to race to 50 for 1 after just 15 overs, and were well within the run rate. We needed a wicket - simple.

In order to shake things up a bit, Lloydy brought Jimmy C and Duncan into the attack. Despite a "gash" first ball, Jimmy followed up with four further cracking deliveries. His sixth ball jagged back at pace and took out the batsman's off stump. Bedlam. 2 down and 8 to go. In his very next over Jimmy, removed their number 4 batsmen. He played one down the metropolitan line when the district would have been better. The ball went sailing to Adam Crane at first slip. 7 wickets to go.

Despite being 3 wickets down at the break, Battersea were still well within the run rate and looked like they might trouble us. However, after the drinks break, Harry C took a beautiful catch off Jimmy C's bowling and made it 4 wickets down - 6 to go. Come on!!

The turning point in the match occurred when Adam Crane was thrown the ball to try and do a bit. What happened was pretty special. After bowling three wides with his first three deliveries, the signs weren't good. But then it all changed. Cransey took two wickets in two balls - one bowled and one caught, and it was goodnight nurse. Cransey looked as shocked as anyone, but as proud as punch at the same time.

And he wasn't finished there. Taking a further three wickets (another 1 bowled, a caught behind and another catch at mid on by TC) the game had ended as a contest, and we could taste promotion. Battersea were 150 off for 9 and we needed just 1 more.

The last wicket came from the most unlikely of sources. With fielders crouched around the batsmen, a short push to silly-mid off was followed by a sharp direct hit on the stumps by Lloydy. The batsmen, who had already downed a few pints during the lunch break, simply couldn't put his bat down in time. The umpire put the finger up. Cue bedlam. We were there!!!

The high fives were passed around the team as the boys sensed how great this accomplishment was. Our first season in the league. Promoted. And as we walked off the ground, i'm sure i saw a few tears in Risso's eyes (i can't be sure....but let's say there was), which showed just how much this meant to everyone.

The night ended on a high with the refrain of "promotione" being sung at Wick HQ long into the early hours of the evening. Emotional. So sweet. I didn't want to leave the club that night and wanted to keep soaking in the atmosphere. I eventually stayed over and slept on Matty D's coach with a towel around me because i had nowhere else to go. Lively, but beautiful.

Congratulations to all teams on magnificent seasons. This is what it means to be "Wick", and i'm still pumped.

Jimmy C (filling in for Wickman Junior, who cannot get daytime release on Saturdays. ATS)

Match Report - 1xi vs Long Ditton (h) by Matty D

Skipper fancies kip after oppo destroyed

HWRCC 239-7dec, O'Mahoney 89, Davies 56 (45 overs)
Long Ditton 134ao, Mathews 97*, Tughral 8-45

Ive written match reports like this many times this season. Too many times in fact. We absolutely spanked Long Ditton on Saturday. Took the piss in fact. It was embarassing. The team seemed to be overjoyed at every wicket that fell, wheareas I was mores subdued, knowing we were likely to play them again next year. If we keep the players we've got we will probably spank them again. It was ridiculous.

The deck was rock solid. Apart from a strange vein running down the length of the pitch, just outside the corridor of uncertainty, this was going to be a run fest. In reality it was too wide to be of concern to anyone.

Long Ditton won the toss and fielded. HWRCC opened up with HIbberd and Davies looking unruffled. The fairly sharp opener blew himself out early on, mixing some decent short and lively stuff with too many legside balls that were easy pickings for, in particular, Davies. With the scoreboard healthy at 40 off 13, Hibberd played a slightly rash shot, across the line and was bowled. All this did, however, was bring O'Mahoney to the crease. Along with Davies he pushed on nicely, the occasional bludgeoned 4, the occasional dabble to 3rd man, a few flicks off the legs etc etc. I think there were maybe two stifled appeals for the entire first 25 overs?

Davies, having reached his half century, holed out to the long square leg boundary. A foolish shot, although on a hot day fresh legs at the crease wouldnt be a bad thing. One brings two. £15 please AJ. Ben, and then Raza (40) joined Adam to push the score on to a comfortable 239. O'Mahoney top scoriong with 89 superb runs in fron of the family. Emotional.

Teas? Standard. 7. No variation this week - although the promise of curry later in the evening stopped Davies from eating too much. That, and some slight nerves that we may not be able to take 10 wickets on a flat deck.

Our only option was to take the old ball and start with Zammy. The only bowler to get anything out of the deck for Long Ditton was a leggie (presumably part time). He found some bounce, but certainly didnt escape run punishment either.

Hers where the circus starts. There were two games of cricket being played in the middle. One was against mr Jason Matthews. The best batsman in the league (check the stats), and the other against Long Ditton. In a score of 134, Jason scored 97*. He carried his bat. Apart from his 3rd ball, the scuttled off the edge between slips 1 and 2, his innings was pretty much flawless. In 16 innings, he has reached 50 on 11 occasions. He hasnt scored a ton because, presumably, he runs out of partners. This was LITERALLY the case on Saturday, as Zammack proved far too good for the entire Long Ditton team, scoring 37 between them. Even Kam managed 40!

Mr Matthews was suitably annoyed and I was suitably bored.

Take nothing away from Zammack. He bowled well, but not that well. Ive seen him bowl teams out, but on Saturday he merely had to put the ball there as the wickets were always going to follow. Embarassing, but that's cricket.

Indeed, that's life.

We finish the league in 3rd position, 2 points off a promotion spot having been 2nd all year. Take nothing away from Stoke - the league table doesnt lie. Even though we scored 30 more points than the team in 2nd last year, we need to recognise that both Guildford and Godalming also eclipsed said score. We know were we lost this promotion, it certainly wasnt on Saturday.

Mahusive congratulations to the 2XI and 3XI, but Im embarassed that HWRCC 1XI are still in Fullers going into 2009.

[Here O'Mahoney demonstrates how he has become the club's leading fielder - Ed]

Kammy's Kurry - First Ever 10

A big thank you from all of the boys and girls to Kammy, Mrs K and the little Ks for feeding us all on Saturday night. While there were a few reports of Japanese Flag incidents coming out on Sunday morning, it was certainly one of the finest curries this food critic has sampled in a good long while going in.

Wickman can't remember exactly what was on the menu - a chicken dish and beef dish is about as close a description as you are going to get here owing to alcohol induced forgetfulness - it certainly smashed a DBW tea into a cocked hat. 10 and no quibbles.

Duck Tax - League 2008

It's difficult to keep track of the duck tax contributions across Sundays and Wednesdays but there have been 24 qualifying ducks that can be taxed. That's one hundred and twenty of your English pounds. The most prolific duck maker this year was Junaid with four, followed by Harry Copeland with three. Ironically though the senior player with the most ducks, at three, is one Nick Clark. So it's a shame that the only photo Wickman has to illustrate this unfortunate statistic is a picture of AJ who got one on Saturday. Quaaaaaaaaack!

Jubilant Wick 2s secure promotion at the first attempt

HWRCC 2xi vs Shepperton 2xi
Shepperton won the toss
HWRCC 232-4 43 overs Wright 72, Goulborn 66*
Shepperton 80 0dd all out Lots of 3 and 2 fors

Sayce, Cole, Ghouldie, Fudge, Wright, Clark, Soppitt, Donnelly, Hodges, Powell, Webbo

Wickman was privileged yesterday to play in a momentous game of cricket. Knowing at the beginning of what turned out to be a beautiful summer’s day that only a win was good enough for us to gain promotion to the Surrey Championship focused the mind, straightened backs and puffed out chests.

For many in the team it has been a long week. Sitting at work and at home wishing the days away until the cricket could start was torture. Fear of failure was not particularly a problem but Wickman certainly felt that opportunities to wrap up promotion had come and gone in May and June at Kingstonians and Ripley. Only one more wicket at plucky Lingfield. And some shoddy fielding at Woodmansterne cost us a guaranteed 20 points. These were the margins that could possibly condemn us to another season trying to bully our way out of Fullers.

To wake up and realise that Saturday would be bright, sunny and hot was a huge relief. To arrive at Shepperton and find a fantastic club in beautifully quiet surroundings was a joy. To look around and see the expectation on the faces of the players was enough to lend strength. And then to see the opposition arriving in dribs and drabs, some long after the start time and to realise that three players were under 14, gave comfort that if we played the same brand of cricket we did against CMO we’d be up by dusk.

To come up to the top division of Fullers and get out of it at the first attempt was a goal that almost looked beyond us in May and June when we had slipped down the table after a run of winning draws against teams that didn’t want to play cricket. That’s what makes this format of cricket so hellishly frustrating. Teams come out to avoid losing games, not to try to win them. It is no surprise that the two most negative sides finished in 7th and 8th places in the table respectively, more than 50 points off promotion. Here’s a tip boys. Don’t be afraid to lose those games. You will get just as many points and you might even enjoy yourselves. Heck you might even gain some respect from other clubs. But its why we had to get out of the division. No one wants to play like this and everyone knows that to win games you mostly need to win the toss and bowl first to give yourselves a better chance.

So it was imperative to get to Shepperton on Saturday and play a game of cricket. With excellent availability on a weekend when all three teams needed a win, we had a strong side out. It was felt that it was a strong enough unit to win despite the toss although it would be nice to win one. We’ve only won three this year which has meant that on most occasions we have had to try to winkle out negative teams who insist on bowling first, moaning when they are set four an over in reply and promptly shutting up shop early.

Shepperton’s ton scoring captain of the previous week was engaged elsewhere and the stand in skipper made no bones that his primary objective was to give us as many problems as he could. He promptly won the toss and inserted and he and his young son started the game tidily and with some success removing out of form Saycey for four, caught well in the cordon. Gold and Coley progressed scratchily but with some efficiency taking the score past 50 before Goldy’s poor call for a single to Shepperton’s best fielder left Coley a bat’s length short of safety. As with the Chobham game some unhappiness was heard in the changing room.

Skipper Fudge looked to be in reasonable nick, but still struggling from his wrist injury he chased a wide one to point and shortly after drinks the Wick was momentarily staring down the barrel at 62-3 from 20ish. Ouch.

Wrighty announced himself at the crease with two beautifully timed fours and suddenly the Wick was off at a canter. Goldy progressed to a serene 50 while at the other end Wright had obviously taken this reporters words to heart as he set about smashing Shepperton all over their very nice park. In one over from a leggy who had the previous over looked respectable he hit 4,4,4,6,4 and nicked a single off the final ball to sneak down the other end and tee off there too. His fifty was so rapid was only five minutes behind Gold who had had a 15 over start on him. The carnage continued until Wrighty – who looked a nailed on certainty for a ton – was cut down in the 70s.

All that remained was for Clark to come in and ensure that a declaration total was achieved in rapid time which he did with a clubbed off drive and smashed pull for four before carting the oppo skipper onto a slag heap (the only blight on a fabulous ground) for a maximum. The Wick closed on a very robust 232-4 from 43 which your correspondent, although happy to see Clarky bat, felt was going to be far too many.

Tea was excellent. Difficult to find much wrong with it. Some fantastic melons were on display and if the plates had been as large as them then this would have been a memorable spread. Great to end the season on a culinary high with possibly the best opposition tea tucked under our belts. 8.

So on to the business end of the game. With one guy in the outfield who looked as much like a cricketer as Wickman does a fashion model and three kids who probably wouldn’t tip the scales at half a Clarky, one suspected that this would be a game of patience and cat and mouse. Time, you suspected, would tell.

Fudgey opened up with the old ball employing the spin of Cole and of Delboy. A controversial tactic designed to discombobulate the batting side the early strain showed on the Wick performance. The pitch had largely started to crumble like a Cadbury’s flake there was the sort of variable bounce one might expect to see on the fifth afternoon of a test so it was the right decision. But for some reason nothing would quite stick early on and Shepperton’s openers raced to 30 without much alarm. A chance was put down at short midwicket. The ball didn’t quite carry to Saycey on the fence at square. Finally though the result we were looking for turned up and the better of the two openers was sent back by Cole. There was still time for another half chance to go begging as the legendary Student Ray inside edged past Clark’s gloves. But after that incident the Wick suddenly found its mojo and the game turned inextricably Wickwards.

First Del floated and turned one past a hesitant forward defensive from the other opener to caress the leg stump. Then a useful looking number four came in a was suckered into hoisting a shorter ball to square leg where Saycey made no mistake of a difficult chance which might have carried for six. Powelly was changed in for Cole and with the old ball removed five with a snorter he could only smash to Clark off the outside edge. He trudged off having forced Julian to give him out which hardly seemed necessary so obvious was interaction between ball and bat. He left with advice about walking ringing in his ears for next season.

Number six was sent packing by Del, now bowling with the new ball and combing skid with loop, bowling what looked like the last of the really competent bats. Webbo had replaced Powell and began to bowl a decisive spell of fast medium bowling. As last week he barely wasted a delivery and Student Ray who had been quick to smash anything off line to the boundary (if not quick to take a single) was suddenly becalmed and looking unlikely to score many more runs. He would not as he shuffled across and was adjudged in front. His protests were audible but unfortunately his technique was such that he walked across everything and it was only a matter of time if he missed one. His was the only knock of real substance for Shepperton.

At this point the very grumpy skipper (almost Mellettian) then partnered a succession of youngsters against new ball bowling of some class from Julian and Webbo. Julian removed him with an absolute peach that swung from leg to off and bowled him comprehensively. A young leftie played on to Webbo and Julian rearranged the furniture of another. And we were there, on the brink. We were not to be denied for long as a youngster played all round a Webbo Yorker and the game was, deliriously, over.

Manly hugs not reflecting the pinkness in the badge were exchanged by all. The dressing room became lively with the singing of “Promotione”. It was emotional. Beers were drunk. The moment was savoured. And then a trip to Tesco to pick up victory booze and to Threshers for cold bubbles. And then back to the Wick for the best feeling in the world. Sharing success, champagne, curry, beers and songs with the members of the best cricket club in the world.

Absolutely brilliant. Absolutely and totally Wick.

MOM – Golby’s knock was the glue in the innings, Webbo bowled beautifully, the skipper skippered with style and authority but Wrighty’s knock was simply a class apart and transformed the game.