TEAMS - SAT 27TH AUG

1ST XI V Chobham (A)

1 Ali 2 Rashid 3 O'Mahoney (+) 4 Raza 5 Davies © 6 High 7 Cronin 8 Tughral, Zo 9 Tughral, Zam 10 Tanveer, Fahad 11 Shinde

U: N/A S: A. Whitcher

M: 11:30 S: 13:00

2ND XI V Carshalton (H)

1 Jackson 2 Fudge © 3 Murray 4 McMullan 5 Oliver, Robbie 6 Soppitt 7 Copeland H (+) 8 Taylor, Will 9 Donnelly 10 Goodwin 11 Lown

U: S. Riley S: N/A

M: 11:15 S: 12:00

3RD XI V Guildford City (H)

1 Ratnage 2 Hirsch 3 Byrne, Dan 4 Clements (+) 5 TBC 6 Kamboh, Nav 7 Selves © 8 Nicholls 9 Ilyas, Aqeel 10 Linter 11 Smith

U: K. Bryan S: N/A

M: 12:00 S: 12:30

Good Luck to everyone involved!!

WICK

Match Report - 1s win promotion at Caterham - by Matty D

HWRCC 1XI beat Caterham 1XI by 7 runs.

A season review will follow (at the end of the season), but this game proved to be decisive. Our target of 12 wins was achieved and promotion was secured, but only after confirmation of Guildford Citys draw at Shepperton. It would have been nice to secure promotion with a wicket, or a boundary, or something more dramatic than a text from the Chairman on your way to a Fish and Chip shop at 9pm in Kent. On the plus side the fish I procured was half-price at £2 on account of it being split. Saved me two bob and I was going to eat the thing even if it wasn’t split. And it was delish.

Anyway, back to the creekeet...

Caterham – lovely town. Has a Waitrose at the bottom of the hill. Always a good sign.

The ground is high up and part-funded by the famous Caterham School – Think Hogwarts without the wizard bit. Therefore they have some good facilities and the track was a belter. The best track we have played on all year – true carry and some pace if you bent your back, but also some grip if you hit the seam. Obviously I lost the toss and we were inserted. There was some rain in the air and whilst it wasn’t cold, it was slightly dank. The gazebo under which we were sat did receive a warm pattering for maybe an hour. This didn’t stop Nomaan and Alex though who attacked from the off – hitting cleanly through the line – Nomaan mostly off-side, Alex mostly on-side – but both with orthodox cricket play. They put on a round 100 in maybe 15 overs – continuing their great form of the previous few weeks.

However, 1 can bring 2. And in some cases a lot more. The ball started to grip, catches were being held, a few poor shots played and an ump with an itchy finger all left us ‘reeling’ at 167-7/ Raza made a few but others found ways to get out (as did Raza to be fair) and thoughts of 250 were some way off. MattyD and in-form Tong steadied somewhat – Davies fortunate at best but nevertheless effective for a while. His dismissal brought in Abeyratne, whose explosive hitting accelerated the score to 242 in no time with a declaration now possible off 45 overs, leaving us 50 to get them out on a flat deck and an outfield like the Oval.

Teas were pretty good – not much variety but I’ve said it before – if the bread is soft I won’t complain. And you didn’t need to ask for the cold drinks. 6 out of 10.

The sun had come out for our response. So much so in fact I decided to zinc up and I looked like the monkey out of Lion King. It seemed to do the job as I plucked an absolute beaut at gully to give the innings an early lift. Nevertheless Caterham approached their chase in the right frame – attack. Their run rate was consistently high at around 5 an over – which is probably a first for us this season. Attacking fields soon paid off, as well as runs on the board which forced agitation with some batsman. A few tight overs invariably led to a wicket in some form. Tongy – the pick of the seamers – took a great catch at point and Nomaan was successful with two run outs – one with the help of an energetic Zammy at mid wicket. With the exception of Vish – who didn’t threaten on a track that didn’t suit him – everyone looked like taking wickets. Day bowled with real verve on a batsman’s track and attacking fields. He didn’t get the rewards this week. Ali – on his return to bowling action, somehow got 4 wickets despite a glut on no-balls (don’t look at me Noman – they’re your feet). With wickets tumbling, the key one was a Kammy catch at long-on – plucking skier to remove the Caterham skip who had threatened to challenge for the full 20 points. Runs wern’t the problem, it was the losing of wickets that was going to do for them. Zammy cleaned up the final one and 20 points was ours.

MOM – Paper suggests it should be Nomaan, but he didn’t do much more than anyone else really. He was probably the worst of the bowlers aside from Vish, but still took 4 wickets. He top scored – but he Alex and Vish all played vital contributions with the willow. And Tongy put in a fine all round stint – unbeaten with bat, best bowler on day, a great catch and some outstanding standards in the field.

Special mention to young Robbie Oliver. He didn’t trouble the scorers this time around, but last time I got a duck (Frimley 1st league game) I followed it up with 135 the week after. Debut out the way – tick that box...plenty more opportunities to come.

In the field this had been a good effort – I think we forget how good we actually are at times. Caterham was a batting paradise, especially with the sun out. Some of our bowling was full of skill and poise and the catching this week was top drawer when it needed to be. Caterham’s fielding in contrast was lacklustre (no disrespect intended). 15 games and 12 wins is a great return and if we win the final two we have a real chance of going up as Champions – but we are now officially a Surrey Championship team – I will dine out on that for a while.

Go Wick.

TEAMS - SAT 20TH AUGUST

1ST XI V Caterham (A)

1 Ali 2 Day 3 Raza 4 O'Mahoney (+) 5 Davies © 6 High 7 Cronin 8 Oliver, Robbie 9 Tong, G 10 Abeyrante, Vishva 11 Tughral, Zam

U: S. Riley S: A. Whitcher

M: 11:00 S: 13:00

2ND XI V SKR (H)

1 Rashid 2 Fudge © 3 Murray 4 Crowther 5 Jackson 6 Soppitt 7 Copeland H (+) 8 Tanveer, Fahad 9 McMullan 10 Shinde 11 Lown

U: N/A S: N/A

M: 12:00 S: 13:00

3RD XI V Streatham & M'Boro (H)

1 Lloyd 2 Hirsch 3 Collier 4 Clements (+) 5 Byrne, Dan 6 Ratnage 7 Kamboh, Nav 8 Selves © 9 Charlton 10 Ilyas, Aqeel 11 Linter

U: K. Bryan S: N. Singh

M: 12:00 S: 13:00

Good Luck to everyone involved...

WICK

Teams - Saturday 6 August 2011

1ST XI V Weybridge Vandals (A)

1 Ali, 2 Davies ©, 3 Raza, 4 O'Mahoney (+), 5 Day, 6 High, 7 Cronin, 8 Tong, G, 9 Abeyrante, Vishva, 10 Tughral, Zam, 11 Shinde

U: K. Nicholls
S: A. Whitcher

M: 11:30 S: 13:30

2ND XI V Dorking (H)

1 Rashid, 2 Tughral, Zo, 3 Collier, 4 Clements, 5 Jackson, 6 Crowther, 7 Soppitt, 8 Copeland H (+), 9 Tanveer, Fahad, 10 Webster ©, 11 Lown

U: S. Riley

M: 12:00
S: 13:00

3RD XI V Kempton (A)

1 Singh ©, 2 Hirsch, 3 Mackie, 4 Rudolph, Matt (+), 5 Byrne, Dan, 6 Ratnage, 7 Kamboh, Nav, 8 Selves, 9 Charlton, E, 10 Ilyas, Aqeel, 11 Linter

M: 11:30
S: 13:00

CLUB DAY - 2011 SIXES SHIELD

And there's more...

CLUB DAY - THE 2011 SIXES SHIELD

Here are just a few reasons why you should support YOUR Club this Sunday!! Don't miss out on the best club social of the year!!

TEAMS - SAT 30TH JULY

SAT 30TH JULY

1ST XI V Byfleet (H)

1 Ali 2 Davies © 3 Tong, I 4 Raza 5 O'Mahoney (+) 6 Maddoc-Jones James 7 Cronin 8 Tong, G 9 Abeyrante, Vishva 10 Tughral, Zam 11 Shinde

U: B. Sissen S: A. Whitcher

M: 12:30 S: 13:30

2ND XI V Old Paulines (A)

1 Cole 2 Tughral, Zo 3 Crowther 4 Clements 5 Jackson 6 Soppitt 7 Copeland H (+) 8 Charlton, E 9 Tanveer, Fahad 10 Webster © 11 Lown

U: S. Riley S: N/A

M: 11:30 S: 13:00

3RD XI V Thames Ditton (H)

1 Singh © 2 Hirsch 3 Lloyd 4 Haddock 5 Edmonds 6 Rudolph, Matt + 7 Breakwell 8 Unsworth 9 Selves 10 Ilyas, Aqeel 11 Linter

U: N/A S: N/A

M: 12:00 S: 13:00

Good luck to everyone involved...

WICK

England vs India - The Recriminations

"India's fielding - about as mobile as an order of aloo gobi"

Indian supporters on Cricinfo are hurting today. A comprehensive roasting at Lords on a pretty blameless surface has rather dented the hype. No Sachin ton, India fielded like an order of aloo gobi and the stony faces on the oppo balcony spoke volumes of professional misery.

MSD in his post match interview with Athers claimed that India suffered some cruel misfortune. And he's probably right. But no-one wants The Little Master suffering from Camden Colon or Zaheer's hamstring to detract from a brilliant England win.

Pietersen, Trott, Prior and Broad all batted out of their skins at high pressure moments. The bowlers took 20 wickets on what was a good track without the help of DRS. We survived a terrible insertion on the first day when the ball was hooping round corners.

Interestingly you have to ask if Duncan Fletcher is relishing this challenge. He looked fairly inscrutable up there on the Indian balcony. But he looks like he's got a tough job to do to get India into the right frame of mind.

Zaheer looked anything but fit. In fact he looked like he'd had too many coories. Samit Patel must be kicking himself he's English because if Zaheer can get a game looking like a 42 year old Elvis while Jimmy Anderson has to slim down to Amy Winehouse size, he'd have played 100 Tests by now. (Oh - okay - he's not that good). And the rest of them didn't look in peak physical condition either. Contrast the look of the England lot - the bowlers all fresh no doubt from some shoot or other with a magazine with pink in its badge, the batsmen all looking like they've spent as much time as Tremmers on the rowing machine - and you begin to wonder whether India have some fundamental issues with team ethic and desire.

A couple of commentators have pointed to the lack of warms ups, the desultory netting, the wearing of sweaters while bowling and the general brainlessness of some of their match play at key moments (funny how Pietersen and Prior could score at will in a Test Match situation but Prior can't get it off the square in a 50 over game) and you wonder whether Dunc can turn it round or whether he's just a really clever babysitter that needs to wait for some of the egos to leave the team before he can create change.

"Whatever" Wickman says. Unless everyone is completely gone in the head (Dravid didn't look that way, and Suresh Raina looked class [if a little chubby of cheek]) there's no way that India will continue to obligingly fall over when batting and Wickman was never sure why Munaf Patel or that strange chipmunk like fellow Sreesanth weren't picked so he's expecting some sort of resurgence on Friday...

TEAMS - SAT 23RD JULY

SAT 23RD JULY

1ST XI V Wallington (A)

1 Ali 2 Davies © 3 Day 4 Raza 5 O'Mahoney (+) 6 High 7 Maddoc-Jones James 8 Crowther 9 Tong, G 10 Abeyrante, Vishva 11 Tughral, Zam

U: K. Nicholls S: A. Whitcher

M: 11:30 S: 13:30

2ND XI V Woodmansterne (H)

1 Cole 2 Rashid 3 Fudge © 4 Tughral, Zo 5 Byrne, Dan 6 Soppitt 7 Copeland H (+) 8 Tanveer, Fahad 9 Shinde 10 Goodwin 11 Lown

U: S. Riley S: G. Unsworth

M: 12:00 S: 13:00

3RD XI V Ashford (A)

1 Risman 2 Jackson 3 Singh © 4 Lloyd 5 Ratnage S 6 Clements Tom (+) 7 Oliver, Robbie 8 Charlton, E 9 Ilyas, Aqeel 10 Donnelly 11 Linter

U: K. Bryan S: N/A

M: 11:30 S: 13:00

Good luck to everyone involved...

WICK

2011 HWRCC CLUB DAY...

It's Coming... The Club Event of the Year is nearly here!!

2011 HWRCC CLUB DAY - THE SIXES SHIELD

This years Fancy Dress Theme; Pop Stars/Bands.

Club Day Includes;

Fancy Dress 6 aside competition - BBQ Lunch - Live DJ - Hot Tub* - Pimms Bar - Corona Bar - Slow Race - Man of the Tournament - Prat of the Tournament - & Much, Much More...

Don't miss out on the best social of the year!!

HWRCC 2011 CLUB DAY - TEAMS

SIMPLY RED

P. Hibberd © D. Fudge K. Raza M. Mackie J. Breakwell G. Unsworth D. Lown

KISS

G. Tong © A. Day F. Murray H. Copeland F. Tanveer P. Miles M. Bal

TBC

T. Crowther © M. Davies I. Tong V. Abeyrante P. Linter C. Powell S. Riley

TBC

J. Lloyd © N. Ali M. Cronin S. Ratnage R. Oliver E. Charlton A. Ilyas

TBC

C. High © I. Rashid Zo Tughral C. Edmonds D. Soppitt S. Shinde D. Bendall

TBC

A. Crane © A. O'Mahoney T. Clements J. Hirsch Zam Tughral N. Weerakoon C. Appleyard

WICK

* Please note that the Hot Tub may not be hot. It may not even be a tub.

Daddy Hundreds

Wickman was watching a fantastic interview with Alastair Cook on Sky this evening - Charles Colville asking the questions - before suddenly being sent into a terrible rage by THE most irritating piece of cricket speak ever devised.

Now Wickman knows that cricket is no longer played by Gentlemen and Amateurs. He has been guilty down the years of some use of fruity urban language on the pitch, the balcony and in the bar. He realises that the correct response to a 19 wicket test match haul is no longer to hitch up your cream flannels and shake hands with your skipper. He knows that the England captain is no longer likely to have been to Eton or Harrow (although the current Test Captain did go to Radley which Wickman believes to be acceptable and the one day captain went to Bedford Modern [which sounds ghastly but dates back to the 16th century]) and probably won't have a Blue.

The fact that modern cricketers call a Bosie a Googly and that for some reason commentators now call the new ball in a Test Match the 2nd new ball when in the old days we all knew that the new ball was the one you got after 80 overs because you couldn't start a Test Match with anything other than a new ball occasionally causes Wickman to thrash around in his sleep. But he is seldom moved to abused the television.

However the "Daddy" hundred takes the biscuit, drops it on the kitchen floor in a pool of dog spittle, picks it up and eats it. Wickman was brought up on Graham Gooch. For much of Wickman's early cricketing education the moustachioed one was at one end with Boycs, Brearly, Broady or someone else at the other. He scored big runs. He smashed it. He muscled it. He had a big eff-off moustache that was the rival of any Australian soup strainer.

Goochy's had, as the modern parlance would have it, a shocker with the... Wickman can't write it again... oh... Daddy hundred. What in God's name does it mean? Why is a big hundred a Daddy? What hideousness in Essex can have caused Gooch to come up with this execrable piece of badinage and to feed it to his disciple Cook? Did Obi Wan Kenobi (say it quickly and the word wank is heard) come up with something similar? No - he talked of the force and managed to misdirect the weak minded to look for other droids. He did NOT talk of Daddy lightsabres and the like.

Wickman is lead to believe that the phrase originates from the common vernacular of saying "Who's Your Daddy?". Wickman has heard it said that this is not an enquiry to be asked of young Scrotes as one apprehends them scrumping in your orchard (obviously the correct usage would be "father" here), but is used by young men to display authority as they copulate with loose moralled young women. Although even in Essex it escapes Wickman as to why you would want to remind a young lady of her father in such delicate circumstances.

Wickman now imagines a chubby Goochie smashing Kapil Dev and the others around Lords in 1993 thinking "I really need something to say to them which will subdue them and remind them of their submissive situation" and being at a loss for words. Later, post retirement, he stumbles across the phraseology and passes it on to Cook and the other England players. Now they imagine themselves astride the Aussies, the Sri Lankans and others shouting "Who's your Daddy?" at the top of their voices, giving it the old Brokeback Mountain treatment to some poor bowler.

It's just wrong. It's even more wrong coming from the mouth of Cook, Strauss and Swann in interviews. You can tell they are trying to establish it as vernacular, as argot as part of the game. And it stinks. It stinks like fish left out in the midday sun infested with maggots. It sounds pathetic, juvenile... like a playground thing. If Sachin Tendulkar scores a double this Summer will he describe it as a "Daddyji"? Would Brian Lara ever call his 401 a Daddy score? Steve Waugh? Mark Taylor? Boony? Len Hutton? Bradman? Hayden? Anyone but a modern English cricketer?

It's an abomination. Do NOT use it.

1s Triumph to Open Up 44 Point Gap to 3rd Place - Match Report by Matty D

1xi vs Guildford City
Guildford City 156 (32 Overs)
HWRCC 1xi 158-4 (22.5 Overs)

Scorecard

''Guildford Cricket'' was invented in 2006 in homage to the Wick's performance against Guildford City on the last game of that season. We needed to either get 4 points or stop GC winning to secure promotion for ourselves. Having got 184 (and therefore maximum batting points) they declared, leaving us a difficult chase. We were soon in the shyte at 28-6. Were we going to cock it up right at the last, having been unbeaten and top the league all year? No, thereafter ensued the most almighty block-session. The likes of Ewen and Tughral (one of only three surviving players in this fixture) fought their way to 76-8 off 45, meaning we didn't lose (and GC didn't win) - and we were promoted.

Last year our game against GC was abandoned due to the pitch being deemed unfit for play. Yours truly was playing in that game, and was going quite well, until one reared from a length and hit me in the face.

You could say this fixture has history.

2011 was no different. On the balcony Coley called it "the greatest win he'd ever seen down the Wick". Thats some statement.

The day started for me on the Number 4 bus heading from Highbury to Waterloo. Text from Fudgey suggesting I "get down the Wick and get the covers off".

'Since when do we have covers?'. Since Nomi spent 3 hours on Friday folding up the old ones (with holes in), in an apparently vain attempt to protect the pitch. A week of warm weather was to be replaced with heavy rain overnight on the Friday. This isn't surprising because statistically it does actually rain more at the weekend than during the week. Stephen Fry said so on QI once [Must be true - Ed].

Fudgey was convinced it was game on. Arrival at 1130 suggested otherwise. It was Duck weather. The cover however was still in place and if Nomi had applied it correctly, there was a fair chance that the track would be moist but more than playable. The outfield, as always, was fine. The square however was getting puddlier by the minute and it was almost getting stupid.

Firstly credit to Guildford City - they were keen to play. And despite Keith's best efforts at Square protection, he was convinced otherwise and it was game on at 1610 - the latest time we could start. We assumed (wrongly as it turned out) that most games would be off, and so the need to get a game in (and potentially win) could make or break the season, especially following a below par run-out fest last week which ended in a thoroughly depressing draw.

Secondly, credit to most of the boys who worked their t*ts off for over 2 hours trying to soak up and move the surface water away from the track. Groundsmanship is boring and tiring, but it can be very rewarding.

You must be getting bored now...

I won the toss and decided to bowl - unsurprisingly. The track was fine, the outfield a bit dank in places, and the skies looking evil. But it was dry for the moment. Daisy and Tongy started things off, the latter showing more control, and being rewarded with two important early wickets against some bats with good eyes. Nomaan had a go, as did Tongy jnr. Both showing control on a good surface. Wickets fell regularly, and the run rate slowed, but GC would have a total to defend. We nailed a few last on the keep the score to 156, which we would have 23 overs to get them in. No chance, or so I thought.

We decided to go for it. If we got rolled, we would still get 4 points (the same as if the match had been abandoned). After taking one look at the leggie from the Millennium Wood end I decided if I was to score it would be off the seamers. Or I would get bowled... I got bowled. This brought Tongy Jnr in with Ali - both of whom played good attacking but sensible cricket. It's hard to be bowled out off 23 overs, so whilst the run rate was building, wickets in hand meant that a late biff could mean 20 points.

They put on nearly a ton, Tong being replaced with Raza, who came in a hit a quickfire 10. Ali got a wonderful 74. Needing 9 an over for the last 10, and consistently getting it right to the last, I could barely watch. Then it became 30 off 24. 25 off 17. 18 off 12. 9 off the last....

5 off 3. They take out fine leg and Daisy plays a paddle and top edges it. Boney gallops like a hare and it's 3. 2 off 2. Boney misses and it flicks off the pads between slip and the keeper. The appeal goes up but the finger stays down. WICK WIN WICK WIN WICK WIN! The boys go radio rental.

The 4 teams below us in the league either lost or had their games abandoned. I couldn't have written the script any better. Keef loved it too... hee hee