Duck Tax - League 2008

It's difficult to keep track of the duck tax contributions across Sundays and Wednesdays but there have been 24 qualifying ducks that can be taxed. That's one hundred and twenty of your English pounds. The most prolific duck maker this year was Junaid with four, followed by Harry Copeland with three. Ironically though the senior player with the most ducks, at three, is one Nick Clark. So it's a shame that the only photo Wickman has to illustrate this unfortunate statistic is a picture of AJ who got one on Saturday. Quaaaaaaaaack!

Jubilant Wick 2s secure promotion at the first attempt

HWRCC 2xi vs Shepperton 2xi
Shepperton won the toss
HWRCC 232-4 43 overs Wright 72, Goulborn 66*
Shepperton 80 0dd all out Lots of 3 and 2 fors

Sayce, Cole, Ghouldie, Fudge, Wright, Clark, Soppitt, Donnelly, Hodges, Powell, Webbo

Wickman was privileged yesterday to play in a momentous game of cricket. Knowing at the beginning of what turned out to be a beautiful summer’s day that only a win was good enough for us to gain promotion to the Surrey Championship focused the mind, straightened backs and puffed out chests.

For many in the team it has been a long week. Sitting at work and at home wishing the days away until the cricket could start was torture. Fear of failure was not particularly a problem but Wickman certainly felt that opportunities to wrap up promotion had come and gone in May and June at Kingstonians and Ripley. Only one more wicket at plucky Lingfield. And some shoddy fielding at Woodmansterne cost us a guaranteed 20 points. These were the margins that could possibly condemn us to another season trying to bully our way out of Fullers.

To wake up and realise that Saturday would be bright, sunny and hot was a huge relief. To arrive at Shepperton and find a fantastic club in beautifully quiet surroundings was a joy. To look around and see the expectation on the faces of the players was enough to lend strength. And then to see the opposition arriving in dribs and drabs, some long after the start time and to realise that three players were under 14, gave comfort that if we played the same brand of cricket we did against CMO we’d be up by dusk.

To come up to the top division of Fullers and get out of it at the first attempt was a goal that almost looked beyond us in May and June when we had slipped down the table after a run of winning draws against teams that didn’t want to play cricket. That’s what makes this format of cricket so hellishly frustrating. Teams come out to avoid losing games, not to try to win them. It is no surprise that the two most negative sides finished in 7th and 8th places in the table respectively, more than 50 points off promotion. Here’s a tip boys. Don’t be afraid to lose those games. You will get just as many points and you might even enjoy yourselves. Heck you might even gain some respect from other clubs. But its why we had to get out of the division. No one wants to play like this and everyone knows that to win games you mostly need to win the toss and bowl first to give yourselves a better chance.

So it was imperative to get to Shepperton on Saturday and play a game of cricket. With excellent availability on a weekend when all three teams needed a win, we had a strong side out. It was felt that it was a strong enough unit to win despite the toss although it would be nice to win one. We’ve only won three this year which has meant that on most occasions we have had to try to winkle out negative teams who insist on bowling first, moaning when they are set four an over in reply and promptly shutting up shop early.

Shepperton’s ton scoring captain of the previous week was engaged elsewhere and the stand in skipper made no bones that his primary objective was to give us as many problems as he could. He promptly won the toss and inserted and he and his young son started the game tidily and with some success removing out of form Saycey for four, caught well in the cordon. Gold and Coley progressed scratchily but with some efficiency taking the score past 50 before Goldy’s poor call for a single to Shepperton’s best fielder left Coley a bat’s length short of safety. As with the Chobham game some unhappiness was heard in the changing room.

Skipper Fudge looked to be in reasonable nick, but still struggling from his wrist injury he chased a wide one to point and shortly after drinks the Wick was momentarily staring down the barrel at 62-3 from 20ish. Ouch.

Wrighty announced himself at the crease with two beautifully timed fours and suddenly the Wick was off at a canter. Goldy progressed to a serene 50 while at the other end Wright had obviously taken this reporters words to heart as he set about smashing Shepperton all over their very nice park. In one over from a leggy who had the previous over looked respectable he hit 4,4,4,6,4 and nicked a single off the final ball to sneak down the other end and tee off there too. His fifty was so rapid was only five minutes behind Gold who had had a 15 over start on him. The carnage continued until Wrighty – who looked a nailed on certainty for a ton – was cut down in the 70s.

All that remained was for Clark to come in and ensure that a declaration total was achieved in rapid time which he did with a clubbed off drive and smashed pull for four before carting the oppo skipper onto a slag heap (the only blight on a fabulous ground) for a maximum. The Wick closed on a very robust 232-4 from 43 which your correspondent, although happy to see Clarky bat, felt was going to be far too many.

Tea was excellent. Difficult to find much wrong with it. Some fantastic melons were on display and if the plates had been as large as them then this would have been a memorable spread. Great to end the season on a culinary high with possibly the best opposition tea tucked under our belts. 8.

So on to the business end of the game. With one guy in the outfield who looked as much like a cricketer as Wickman does a fashion model and three kids who probably wouldn’t tip the scales at half a Clarky, one suspected that this would be a game of patience and cat and mouse. Time, you suspected, would tell.

Fudgey opened up with the old ball employing the spin of Cole and of Delboy. A controversial tactic designed to discombobulate the batting side the early strain showed on the Wick performance. The pitch had largely started to crumble like a Cadbury’s flake there was the sort of variable bounce one might expect to see on the fifth afternoon of a test so it was the right decision. But for some reason nothing would quite stick early on and Shepperton’s openers raced to 30 without much alarm. A chance was put down at short midwicket. The ball didn’t quite carry to Saycey on the fence at square. Finally though the result we were looking for turned up and the better of the two openers was sent back by Cole. There was still time for another half chance to go begging as the legendary Student Ray inside edged past Clark’s gloves. But after that incident the Wick suddenly found its mojo and the game turned inextricably Wickwards.

First Del floated and turned one past a hesitant forward defensive from the other opener to caress the leg stump. Then a useful looking number four came in a was suckered into hoisting a shorter ball to square leg where Saycey made no mistake of a difficult chance which might have carried for six. Powelly was changed in for Cole and with the old ball removed five with a snorter he could only smash to Clark off the outside edge. He trudged off having forced Julian to give him out which hardly seemed necessary so obvious was interaction between ball and bat. He left with advice about walking ringing in his ears for next season.

Number six was sent packing by Del, now bowling with the new ball and combing skid with loop, bowling what looked like the last of the really competent bats. Webbo had replaced Powell and began to bowl a decisive spell of fast medium bowling. As last week he barely wasted a delivery and Student Ray who had been quick to smash anything off line to the boundary (if not quick to take a single) was suddenly becalmed and looking unlikely to score many more runs. He would not as he shuffled across and was adjudged in front. His protests were audible but unfortunately his technique was such that he walked across everything and it was only a matter of time if he missed one. His was the only knock of real substance for Shepperton.

At this point the very grumpy skipper (almost Mellettian) then partnered a succession of youngsters against new ball bowling of some class from Julian and Webbo. Julian removed him with an absolute peach that swung from leg to off and bowled him comprehensively. A young leftie played on to Webbo and Julian rearranged the furniture of another. And we were there, on the brink. We were not to be denied for long as a youngster played all round a Webbo Yorker and the game was, deliriously, over.

Manly hugs not reflecting the pinkness in the badge were exchanged by all. The dressing room became lively with the singing of “Promotione”. It was emotional. Beers were drunk. The moment was savoured. And then a trip to Tesco to pick up victory booze and to Threshers for cold bubbles. And then back to the Wick for the best feeling in the world. Sharing success, champagne, curry, beers and songs with the members of the best cricket club in the world.

Absolutely brilliant. Absolutely and totally Wick.

MOM – Golby’s knock was the glue in the innings, Webbo bowled beautifully, the skipper skippered with style and authority but Wrighty’s knock was simply a class apart and transformed the game.

Promotione

What a day in the life of the Wick. At 10.30am all three teams had an outside chance of finishing the season in the promotion places. One team had an outside chance of becoming champions. By 7.30pm we'd had a Wickwash - which was all that could be asked of them - and the 2xi and 3xi had finished 2nd in their respective divisions. Promotione! No final day of the season has yielded promotions for two sides in the club. This is absolutely unprecedented in the history of the Wick. That the 1xi finished two points behind in third place is testament to the club's strength in depth and progress this year. The 3xi has had an amazing season. To get promoted at the first attempt in the team's first league season must surely again be unprecedented. Congratulations on a punishing batting performance on the final day. 259 from 47 was just the sort of emphatic performance that was needed. The 2xi similarly has played some amazing cricket this year, both here and last week. To go through the top Fuller's division at the first attempt is not something that Wickman has heard comparative tales of in Wick history from the balcony sages. Yesterday the Wick scored 721 runs and took 30 wickets. That is cricket. The afterparty was momentous and totally Wick. Wick men can pack away their gear for the winter in the sure and certain knowledge that a job has been done.

Battersea at home

Rain at Chobham

Perhaps the most extraordinary image is Mr Reactolite talking to his wife through a sock...

Just in case anyone was wondering?

What is belief?

According to the internet:

1. The mental act, condition, or habit of placing trust or confidence in another: My belief in you is as strong as ever.

2. Mental acceptance of and conviction in the truth, actuality, or validity of something: His explanation of what happened defies belief.

3. Something believed or accepted as true, especially a particular tenet or a body of tenets accepted by a group of persons.

Do you believe?

THE ORACLE

The waiting, the waiting! It's too much!

After an entire season of cricket it has all come down to one weekend of pain or glory. One way or another its going to be a weekend to remember.

Last weekend a Wickwash was the order of the day to get all three teams into the promotion places. The 1s came up a few runs short but the 2s and 3s both fulfilled their part of the bargain. A shock result for Stoke D'Ab 1s then kept The Wick just two points behind them going into the final week.

So now everything, and nothing, is possible. If all three teams win, the 2s and 3s will finish in promotion places and the 1s will have to wait to find out the Stoke D'Ab result to see if their season will end in triumph.

In fact there may be a few shredding nerves in and around the Dabbies' clubhouse on Saturday. If the Wick 2s win and the Dabbies only pick up 9 points from their game the 2s could even be champions. Cor!

Of course a win for Stoke D'Ab 1s and our result won't matter. But we certainly wouldn't want to finish below the poorly umpiring Guildford City so a win is important for even pride's sake. Even a winning draw at Shepperton for the 2s will not be enough with the Chobbies playing Whiteley Village and the 3s game is a straight tussle between Battersea and them. Whoever gets the better of the game will get the promotion spot.

The trouble is, its only Wednesday. Wickman has two and a half days to go and enough work to fill five. Not a lot is getting done. Wickman is craving cricket like an alcholic looks forward to opening time. Wickman can't concentrate for a single moment. Wickman's inbox is full of emails from people who are struggling manfully to get a week's work done but are failing dismally. Wickman's imagining that the denizens of Stoke D'Ab will be feeling much the same.

Wick win to set up end of season crunch game

Wick Vs SRK
Singh, Lloyd, Crane, Tughral jnr, Davies jnr, Cameron, Copeland jnr, Copeland snr, Austin, Unsworth, Lown

SR&K 139 all out from 50 overs Wick 143 for 7 from 36 overs(ish)

There have been many an occasion this season when either the bowlers or the batsmen have had a shoddy day at the office but usually one is better than the other.
A frustrating day in the field occurred on Saturday when it seemed that the oppo were just going to throw the bat and see what happened.

It transpired that this proved a successful tactic and to the dismay of the wick men in the field, SRK managed to edge, slap, tickle and generally basil their way to 139 despite the efforts of Harmy and Krusty who in truth didn’t bowl badly at all and took the opening pair between them, bowled and caught by Davies Jnr respectively.
Granted we helped them out a bunch by dropping 4 catches but they certainly seemed to have had their wheat-a-bix that morning. The big swinging (not hitting) number 3 in particular rode his luck before being caught by Zo at 2nd fly Gully off Jimmy C.

We eventually had them 8 down for 90 runs but that is where we let them off the hook.

Frustration set in big time as in the same over a yorker from leggsy was diverted off middle stump by the batsmans foothole (sorty it out groundsman!, no one likes to have one foot in a trench whilst standing at the crease!) and then 2 balls later he skied one which was dropped.

The fug of frustration was lifted momentarily when Cranesy mid over was chirped by Leggsy from square leg “Ahh, well bowled their Lofting” and then drew an edge with the next ball. Nice!

139 all out from 50 overs and the oppo could be suitably happy with themselves.

Now I may cause some controversy here because previous scribes have suggested that the teas warranted a 9 this week and one can see why. However, I will forever be put off the Chicken Tikka sandwich filler by Jimmy C’s unfortunate mid game faecal eruption 2 Sundays ago. In addition, whilst I believe that fruit (watermelon and strawberries in particular) should be a mainstay of any high scoring tea it was brought to my attention that single cream just doesn’t work. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not a dairy fan by any means- it’s all cow juice to me but even I know single cream doesn’t work with fruit!.-7

Nathan and Lloydy opened the batting and the former looked intent on playing the bowler’s in-swinging yorker off his legs, tried twice, missed twice and was bowled at the second attempt.

Cranesy to the crease, new wand in hand, full of promises of runnnnss. Sadly watched Nathan too intently and fell to a second ball duck. Zippy and Lloyd steadied things up and played themselves in before Lloyd mistimed one and skied it to cover to bring Davies Jnr to the crease and the fireworks began.

Having turned up late and been sent out to forage for white trousers in the dressing room (his had been used as a feline litter tray liner apparently) M Davies the younger quickly found his timing and unleashed a succession of boundaries which racked up the score quickly. Zo got a nasty lbw decision, apparently, so our resident Steven Seagal fan was sent in to keep Jnr company.

Jnr eventually fell for 38 but the damage was done. Harry resumed the batting form he showed before his holiday, to take us through the winning draw total with a succession of identical cover drives off the returning opening bowler. Each one heralding by a louder “Shaaaaattttt” from the growing crowd on the sideline.
Harry was soon replaced LBW by Tony to see off the total with a 4 down to the score board.


So where does that leave us? Well we are in the promotion spot, 3 points clear of Battersea, with, you guessed it…. Battersea to play this coming weekend! A win is needed and a win is what we will get. We all need to step up to the plate in a big way for this winner takes all game and there is no room for a scrappy performances.

BELIEVE!

Fantasy cricket - up to week 16 excluding 2's and 3's from Saturday

With one week to go it is going to be a tight finish. With locked up score books til Saturday, this is only a provisional table / players points (yes cransey we know you got 2 wickets and a duck which will be reflected accordingly)

2nd skipper leads the table. Has this been tactical? has bowling Wrighty 18 overs straight been influenced by other things? will he get a big score knowing he hasn't picked himself?

Good luck to all 3 teams this saturday. There are 3 tables a lot more important then the one below...

A few jokers in the pack see Wick home

Quote from Batman (1989)

The Joker: I've recently had a tragedy in my life. Alicia... [lays the mask that Alicia wore on the table] ...threw herself out of the window.

Vicki Vale: Oh, my God.

The Joker: But, you can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs. [breaks the mask and starts giggling]

HWRCC SUNDAY XI - 204 for 9 off 40 overs.

Maloj - 64+, Junaid 25 not out, extras - 50!

defeated Old Spenolians by 80 runs.

Vaider - 4/30 off 8 overs, Jimmy C - 3/9 off 8, Clarky - 2/9 (revelation)

"You can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs"

Such a wonderful quote from arguably the best Batman movie of all time. Sure, the hype recently may suggest that Ledger and co have produced a more stunning and eery display than Tim Burton's first work, however you can't beat the original. FACT. And as I watched the movie for the first time in almost 20 years on Saturday night, i can tell you that i felt just as scared as I had all those years ago. The joker still frightens the bejesus out of me.

And it was with this sense of fright that i arrived at the Wick on sunday to watch Jimmy C's boys take on Old Spenolians on a lovely late summer's afternoon. In fact, it's fair to say that there were a few jokers in the Wick's pack of cards for this match: A worse for wear Matty D (still struggling from a big one on saturday night), a gloveless Clarkey and Harry "H" Copeland, and a giggling Maloj were all put together in a ramshackle outfit to play cricket at the highest of all levels (that's how i'm seeing it). The question on everyone's lips at the ground (read DBW) was just how many eggs (players) would need to be cracked (play badly) in order to make that omelette (i.e. a decent score, etc).

Having won the toss, Skipper Jimmy C elected to bat on a beautiful Wick strip that had been freshly prepared by the club's groundsman, Veri Farkin-Funni. Even the lines on the track had been freshly painted, courtesy of the work of curator Bee Grade Actar.

Game on.

With limited availability due to a music festival in Reading (understandable given that Garry Glitter was headlining), Jimmy C sent out Matty D and Clarkey to kick the innings off. Matty D, who looked in no fit shape to be out of bed let alone onto a cricket pitch, played some beautiful shots that never quite made it to the boundary. Clarkey, on the other hand, eager to continue his recent spell of good batting by making a sizable knock, started off with confidence. It was going to be an interesting combination.

But sadly not interesting enough.

Clarkey was out for just 5 when he failed to connect properly with a pull shot, looping the ball to square leg for a simple, if only one-handed, catch. Harry Copeland and Sam Kemp, newly promoted up the order to try and refresh the innings, couldn't do any better with the bat. Despite being given the golden opportunity to get runnnnnnsss, they both gave their wickets away very cheaply (both caught) and were soon back in the hutch.

Matty D soon left the crease after being bowled all ends up, and Jimmy C and Tommy Robinson were also out after playing some ordinary shots. The eggs appeared to be breaking all over the show and nothing like an omelette was in the offing.

That is until Maloj "The Joker" joined the game. Maloj is a mystery to anyone who has met him. It is even alleged that, in a recent conversation with Jimmy C and Tun Up, he described Derrick Soppitt as "his mentor". While this might seem alarming to some, I can say that whatever Derrick is telling him is working after his performance here with the bat.

Right from the off, Maloj swung the bat around as only he can. The Maloj mentality is that there are no balls worth leaving and everything is worth trying to hit as hard as you can. With incredible whip generated from the bat, Maloj scored a cracking 65 runs to turn the match back in favour of the home side. To point out how good his batting was, Maloj scored about 20 of these runs from wide deliveries that were rolling along the ground. He even managed to hit one boundary from a ball that found itself on the next batting strip. Maloj was clearly the Wick's joker in the pack.

Aided by Junaid Iqbal, who batted beautifully and with maturity by making 25 not out, Maloj took the Wick to 204 at the close of the innings, a previously unthinkable total. In the interest of fairness, it must be pointed out that this 204 consisted of over 50 extras. However the runs were on the board.

Teas - 8/10. Perfect variation from DBW. It did a bit, yet with none of the serious after shocks which have been known to bring certain players to carry out their "bowl work" sooner than usual.

Heading out to bowl, the Wick got off to a confident start. Tommy Robinson and Graham "the teacher" Smith bowled beautifully to keep the runs down. Graham managed to pick himself up a wicket. Followed shortly after by a cameo from Maloj and Linter, who's bowling is getting back to top form, the Wick were still on track for victory but just needed some quick wickets.

The match turned when Vaider and Jimmy C were brought into the attack. Vaider, taking 4/30 off 8 overs with the turkish we all know and love, and Jimmy C taking 3/9 off 8 put the match right out of reach from Old Spens and ended the joking around. Well almost.....

...Having agreed to play Clarkey on the basis that he bowl a few overs, the Wick's wicket keeper stepped up (AJ style?) to roll the arm over and intimidate the batsmen. Bowling straight with movement and fitness, Clarkey managed to pick up the final two wickets to end the match. The occasion was perhaps not lost on the wicket keeper, who appeared to rellish taking wickets with - dare I say - a "joker-esque" cackle after each batsman fell. Job done.

Game over.

Having spoken briefly to Jimmy C after the match, he wanted me to mention the work of Alison in the scorebox who put in another magnificent display with the pen. An absolute delight as per usual.

Believe

Wickman Junior

Match Report - 2xi vs Croydon Municipal Officers

HWRCC 2xi vs Croydon Municipal Officers
Croydon Municipal Officers won the toss
CMO 89 all out
HWRCC 90-5

Going into the final weekend of the Fullers Division One Second xi season there are now three teams who could finish in the promotion spots and three teams that could end the season as champions. One of them is us. We are in the mix. Win and we will be promoted. We might, if Stoke D’Ab fail to beat Lingfield, even finish the season as champs.

The only way to play our game against Croydon Municipal Officers was to assume that Chobham would beat Stoke D’Ab and that if we didn’t beat CMO it would be season over for us. The Chobbies will play Whitely Village next week which we all suspect will be a guaranteed 20 points for them. Effectively if we weren’t ahead in the points table on Sunday morning you could put your mortgage on the fact that only freak weather conditions would keep us in the chase.

So this was a must win fixture. Before the game, mathematicians in the team had worked out that even a winning draw would dump us in the mire. A winning toss was desirable too because the xi was not exactly packed with the Wick’s David Gower, Geoffrey Boycott or Graham Gooch. In fact we were only carrying three recognised top six bats. The toss was lost, but incredibly CMO chose to bat. Little did they know that bowling availability throughout the club was amazing this weekend and they would face an attack that would destroy them inside 35 overs.

CMO turned up with what looked like the best batting line up we have faced this season. Some real strength in depth was evident here. Apart from a ropey looking leftie who looked to have learned his cricket on the Champs Elysee and a number 11 who had fewer clues than Watson in a Sherlock Holmes mystery (“Its lemon entry, Dear Watson” is the punchline to a poor Sherlock Holmes related joke Wickman remembers) this was a quality line up.

O’Donnell opened up and after a rocky start found some line and length. At the other end Tid was simply magnificent. Bowling to the Twilight zone of the Millennium Wood end he bowled straight and with pace. A left handed opener was left bemused and bedraggled as he passed the outside edge time and time again. Tid was unlucky not to be granted an LBW early on but then no one on our side was to be granted one by CMO’s imported umpire. He did both ends during their innings and didn’t give a thing. Wickman thought he umpired the LBWs poorly all day, culminating in finally giving one off the penultimate ball of the game which looked the least likely of them all. He always found a reason not to give his compatriots out – ball missing leg was his favourite – and the comedy increased during the afternoon as he found new excuses. One ball was apparently going wide of off stump. That would have hit the middle stump and nothing else. It was that kind of performance.

Tid quickly lined up opposition gun bat Harfield by bowling close to the stumps and having him play straight before changing his position on the bowling crease and knocking back his middle stump. Simply breathtaking bowling. Fudge changed O’Donnell out of the attack early, responding to a need to get the batsman to play. Webbo’s first ball for a month or so was an absolute peach which bowled the other opener through a big gate to reduce CMO to 12-2.

The fielding and all round performance at this stage had to be seen to be believed. Definitely the performance of the season every Wick man was throwing himself around the green stuff and the noise levels were deafening. No bowler was left un-praised and no piece of fielding was not remarked upon. We were assisted by a square that was in the best nick of the year so far. The deck seemed quite glassy and definitely had pace and carry if not bounce. No one got the ball much above stump height all day.

Tid carried on his amazing spell by stitching up the left handed number four who looked uncomfortable to say the least. Time and again Tid lined him up and he had no answer but to play French style to keep devastatingly accurate bowling out. Down the other end Webbo profited as, frustrated by Tid, he flashed at a wide one to give the easiest of catches to Clark’s left.

The number three looked like one of the better CMO bats. He profited from a tough dropped catch (one handed, running backwards at mid on) and a number of balls that squirted up in the air into empty spaces. When he hit the ball it stayed hit. Some lovely timing saw him larrup Junaid through mid on in perhaps the best shot of CMO’s day. Welcoming the number five to the wicket he told him to play “just like Sunday” which boosted Wick confidence as it suggested that the rest of the line up might lack confidence. Whilst the lad looked useful, his first attacking stroke went only as far as Fudge at cover in the air. Fudgey doesn’t drop them.

One of the more adjacent of the LBW shouts was turned down in this passage of play and fired Webbo and the rest of the side up to even higher standards. CMO’s father figure then arrived at the crease and complimented the Wick boys on being “up for it”. There was no question we were up for it at this stage. It was like bedlam in the middle, everyone on top of their game and with more chat than Richard and Judy. With CMO managing less than two an over they got to drinks four down for less than 50 runs. Game most definitely on. Wickman thinks its fair to say that they were shellshocked.

After the break for ten minutes the performance perhaps looked slightly flat as some leg stump full tosses were turned round the corner and what passed for a mini recovery began. But mini it was. Powell, bowling towards Kingston, was fast, skiddy and accurate and convinced Coydon’s big Daddy to flash at one outside off stump. It was travelling at some pace and looked to be heading between Clark and Tid to the boundary before Clark amazed himself and others by snaring it one handed when it was almost past him. Clark’s reaction seemed to suggest he was quite happy with the plucking of the strawberry.

Coley replaced Junaid who had another great afternoon with the red thing. He is increasingly impressing his elders as, with a season’s bowling behind him, he gains greater control of his inswing. Like a youthful version of MS he gets the ball to move late and now that 11 out of 12 balls are destined to be in the corridor or hitting the stumps he is a difficult prospect to get away. Batsmen now have to play him through mid on for runs instead of being able to look to fine and long legs for scoring strokes. The effect he had yesterday was to continue to tie down the opposition who must have been wondering when we would bring on Duncan Ross or Trevor Trundle so that they could get some runs.

Coley bowled his best spell of the season and removed the dangerous number three who top scored with 36. This week Coley’s stock ball was a flighted off-spinner and his spell was all the better for it. A passing gnat with a tight chuff looked like a complete slag who’d enjoyed a great deal of crafty butchering in comparison. He was unlucky not to get an early breakthrough when a sliced drive just eluded the grasp of point but he took the important wicket inducing a big leading edge again held by Fudgey, who, as mentioned before, doesn’t drop them.

Powelly then yorked the life out of the number six, a relieved Webbo saw Clark gather a looseish throw to run out the number eight by the distance commonly known as a country mile and Delboy drew a phenomenal one handed catch out of Powell at short midwicket. The word plucked could be used again along with the word strawberries. The denouement was predictable as an agricultural heave from the number 11 failed to connect and Clark collected and sharply removed the bails. The umpire at square leg pointed a finger to the skies and HWRCC 2xi had totally dismantled CMO for only 89 of your English runs. A simply brilliant performance. A testament to the team’s work was an extras score in single figures and a feeling of total elation was in evidence as the dressing room door shut behind us.

Perhaps it was the bank holiday, or perhaps it was the summery weather, but something brought the best out of DBW too. His tea was varied, fresh and included strawberries and cream. Strawberries! He gets a nine and best tea of the season. To knock him from his perch the ladies or gents of Shepperton are going to have to serve up cake and fine wines next week at a minimum at their chalet style HQ next week and no mistake.

89 runs to chase was never going to be enough on this deck – which if it didn’t have runs written all over it (what groundsman in his right mind would write runs on a deck – it would defy belief) was certainly a batsman’s paradise in comparison to some other rainforest floors we have played on this year. Even with a more flimsy batting line up than usual and with the skipper still discomforted by his wrist injury we had enough talent to get home, if not to romp home.

Cole and Clark opened up and did a good job of getting us a third of the way there. If neither were particularly fluent, Cole’s off drive looked in fantastic shape and Clark was confident of scoring straight or through the leg side. Coley became bowled looking to get on with it. Fudge and Clark then took the total beyond fifty before Clark top edged a pie to mid on. Fudgey then slapped another pie to midwicket. T Dizzle also holed out to mid on. But Delboy and Charlie took the Wick close, Charlie absolutely tanking it all over the ground, before O’D and Del saw the Wick level before their umpire gave his atrocious decision. The result was never in doubt from tea onwards and the boys retired to watch the thirds romp home on Kingsfield as CMO did not bring any drinkers with them.

This was an absolutely emphatic victory. A committed fielding performance destroyed a strong batting line up. Hardly a single ball (except all the LBWs natch) needed to be taken down leg side. The ground fielding was precise. We gave away perhaps 2 runs in the field. Extras were almost non-existent. Proper standards.

As was mentioned in the intro this keeps us in the mix. Win on Saturday and promotion beckons. Perhaps the Dabbies will screw up again (come on lads, this was the weekend you were supposed to win promotion and help us to second place – what went wrong? – send us your champagne if you stuff it up next week too) and hand us the championship on a plate like we did for Merrow in the final game last year. It all comes down to this final weekend to see if we can get out of the league at the first attempt.

It would be good. There’s no question that the negative, boring cricket of May and June at Kingstonian and Ripley is not the way to spend a Saturday. We all want to play positive, attacking cricket. If we get beaten occasionally (see the great game against the Woodies and the dicking by the one man of Battersea Onemanside) then so be it. It’s easier to accept a good beating than a pointless 120 run draw where the other side blames you for caning their rubbish bowling all over the park for 45 overs so decides to stodge out a bore draw for 25 overs.

Hopefully the Surrey Championship division five is the sunlit uplands where sides win the toss, smash it around and then throw the ball up to encourage a close finish. Do you think? We’d like to find out…

MOM this week was the team. Yes it’s a team game played by individuals but everyone was a man of the match. Everyone gave their best this week. Even Tommy, who almost got TFC. Hee hee.

Here's a picture of a municipal officer. He didn't play but hey.

Needed – One Wickwash

With two weekends left all three teams have an opportunity to finish in their respective promotion places – or crash and burn after long seasons. Whatever the results this has been the most exciting season for the entire club for years, or certainly in Wickman’s recollection.

The 1s – after a couple of disappointing weeks – now find themselves a point off second place behind surging Stoke D’Abernon. Two wins and any slip up from Stoke and promotion will be theirs. But with Long Ditton at the end of the season and a tricky trip to sixth placed Godalming awaiting them on Saturday the 1s will need to be on top of their game.

The 2s – back in the driving seat after a couple of shock losses, can finish at least second with two straight wins at home to CMO and away to Shepperton. Again, neither are easy games, but with Chobham poised to cruise to a victory at the end of the season against already relegated Whiteley Village, who are yet to post a win this year, win they must.

And then there’s the 3s. After looking dead and buried two weeks ago on the abandonment weekend when all around them won games (where were they playing???) the 3s are back in the hunt. Old Tiffinians have been fined 40 points by the League for misdemeanours, dumping them into fourth place. They were pretty much all over this blog a cussing and a dissing after the 3s game a while back (see match report and comments) so there will be a sense of shadenfreude in some quarters (not Wickman of course, he is above such things). A win this weekend for the 3s (again – tough oppo to negotatiate) will put them into second place and create an incredible promotion game with third placed Battersea Ironsides with the Wick needing only to maintain a points margin.

But this weekend is the key. Wins for all three teams will create possibly the most exciting final week in living memory. So its time for a massive effort boys. No one wants to miss out this season and the fact that all three teams have an opportunity to contest promotion spots has got to be great for the club.