TEAM NEWS - SAT 17TH JULY

HWRCC 1ST XI V Kempton C.C. (Away)

1) Ali
2) Davies
3) Rashid
4) Raza ©
5) Cronin
6) Madoc-Jones C
7) Madoc-Jones J +
8) High
9) Tong
10) Marfleet
11) Unsworth

Umpire: K. Nicholls
Scorer: A. Whicher

Meet: 12:00
Start: 13:30

HWRCC 2ND XI V Cranleigh (Home)

1) Cole
2) Goulborn
3) Fudge ©
4) Crowther
5) Gates
6) Stephens
7) Soppitt
8) Holland +
9) Donnelly
10) Breakwell
11) Webster

Umpire: S. Riley
Scorer: N/A

Meet: 12:00
Start: 13:00

HWRCC 3RD XI V Pyrford (Home)

1) Risman
2) Lloyd
3) Singh
4) Tughral Zo
5) Copeland H +
6) Cameron ©
7) Edmonds
8) Austin
9) Lown
10) Robinson
11) Charlton

Umpire: N/A
Scorer: N/A

Meet: 12:00
Start: 13:00

1xi vs Old Paulines (a) Match Report by D

Scorecard

Tongey tossed up this week – he lost. We would bat. If it was a Sunday, then great, we’d watch the oppo suffer like war criminals smashing rocks with toothbrushes, whereas we’d be cooped up inside the air conditioned bar watching a sunny jolly unfurl outside. As it happens, thats pretty much what we did, but the downside was that we’d need to get 10 wickets to win the match. This was unlikely.

Davies and Ali, back together again like Brangelina (there’s always rumours), opened up without alarm. OP bowlers bowled straight enough, which in reality was all they could do given the lack of any assistance from the placid track, which turned out to be a little slower than first appeared. Davies fell with the score on 43, misjudging the length criminally. Cronin soon followed, caught doing his best Anton du Beck impression. At the other end Ali looked assured and found his way to a relatively serene 60, before getting a good’un from OP’s good’un, caught at the slips off one that jumped a little.

The innings then stuttered a little, with Rashid, Whinney and Raza all falling to what can only be described as lazy shots. Having said that I missed most of them because I was so bloody hot I had to get into the air conditioned bar to watch England cock it up against Bangladesh. At 143-7, when young Madoc-Jones fell, we were in trouble. Patience appeared to have got the better of us. High, trying to dab one got a leading edge and the ball plopped to the vacant cover region. Cue an angry response from the Wick cheerleaders, which then prompted a change in approach. 66 off 37 balls later and the Wick were back in the game. Brutal hitting hard, as well and excuisite timing off the legs and off side punctures saw the Wick push the score along. Eewen provided subdued support, although it must be noted that Ops fielding was below poor, dropping at least 6 catches in the deep. Tong and Tughral joined the fun at the end, pushing the score to 228 off 49 overs and we were definitely in the ascendency.

Teas – 5/10. Too many dry sandwiches on a day when moisture had to be the prime ingredient. Lots of it though. Oh, and some cold pizza, which I like. Go on then, have a 6.

Ewen didn’t look himself, deflated by his batting performance which angered him. However, he still managed to bowl probably his quickest spell of the year, somehow making the ball get above waist height numerous times and hitting numerous batsmen in the gut, arm, box, or inducing the odd false stroke. A real effort on a dead track. Tong equally extracted as much swing as was humanly possible from an arid day. Without success and no wickets down at drinks, Raza turned to himself and Tughral to spin the Wick to victory.

Immediately, Raza castled one, and Tughral followed with a beauty that bit the track and jumped to slip. Therein followed a difficult period of action to summarise. Tughral bowled some beauts, including a lovely piece of glove work by MJ behind the sticks, but also mixed it up with some of the filthiest bowling ever seen at any level. One wicket was a waist high full bunger sliced to Mid on who plucked a strawberry straight from Serena Williams punnet (you would, wouldn’t you), and another one that pitched half way down, didn’t bounce, induced a strange scoop from outside off that lolli-popped up to slip. 15-67-6. Heehee. If you don’t buy a ticket, you cant win.

Ewen returned and was too quick, picking up a well deserved W. Ali took a screamer in the deep, running and diving in like a salmon.

Things were close, with OP 8 down, about 35 needed for a win, maybe 10 for the draw and Wick after 2 wickets for victory. In the end, OP decided to block their way and despite a wicket falling last ball of the game, thus leaving OP 9 down, 10 wickets was always going to be a stretch, and it proved just beyond us for the second straight game. It's turning into one of those seasons.

MOM – High. Zam got 6 wickets, but he only deserved 3 of them, and High’s innings was the type of fearless of batting that we need more of.

Pratt of Match – probably Zam, embarrassed at some of his wickets, although he did manage to take 6.

WARRRRRM!

[With apologies from Wickman for failing to publish this on four consecutive days]

"The Risman of the night"

HWRCC DEFEAT CHERTSEY AND GO FIFTH IN LEAGUE

HWRCC - 231 ALL OUT (Lloydy 61, Risman 40, Robinson 28)

CHERTSEY - 108 ALL OUT (Robinson 6 for 18)

King's Field. Saturday. Summertime. Warm and sunny. Is there a better place to be in the world? The short answer is: no. The long answer is: "yes, well i could name you a number of better places actually including...wtf? Clearly this isn't the best place to be..."[*PUNCH*]. End of discussion. A. Risman doesn't take kindly to people criticising King's Field. Noted.

After the kids were cleared off the pitch, the game against Chertsey could finally take place. Calling the pitch a dustbowl would be being a tad too kind. It was like playing beach cricket without the talent in bikinis walking past. Don't get me wrong, the sight of a few men in whites can raise the old bed flute on the odd occasion, but for pure consistency, you get the picture....

The Wick batted first. Lloydy and Risman. Perfect conditions for batting, and the pair didn't hold back. Lloydy belted his first faced over for 12 runs. Risman wasn't too far behind either. In no time, the Wick had reached 80 for no wicket off just 17 overs. Lloydy and Rizzo soon "became bored" (there's no pleasing some people....), and Zo and Pradeep tried to keep the runs flowing. Zo hit a massive 6 off his first few deliveries and (you guessed it) was soon caught trying to hit a ball out of the park for the second time in as many balls. One often wonders if scientists ever did experiments on Zo for development of future products. You can just imagine someone setting up an electric fence, and rather than the exhibit touching it once then walking away, Zo would probably keep touching it just to piss off their experiment. His skipper probably feels the same way too...

DMJ, Harmy and Jimmy C then set about rekindling the innings after Zo, and then Pradeep, had given away their wickets. With Harmy's agressive shotmaking, combined with Jimmy's bottom handed 1s to fine leg, its was soon 170-6 off around 40 overs. Once Jimmy was dismissed, and Bendall threw his wicket away (and Lownsy) it seemed likely that 200 would not be made.

Enter Tommy Robinson and Eddie Charlton. In perhaps the most important innings both have played before, the pair put on almost 50 runs for the last wicket. It was a lesson to those above about what can happen if you apply yourself. Robinson looked as composed a batsman as anyone had seen, and Charlton appeared to gain confidence from time out in the middle. After Eddie was out caught, the Wick had reached a very strong 231 off 48 overs. It was a defendable total.

Teas - 7/10.

Harmy's return to the club has been positive and, alongside Eddie Charlton and then Tommy Robinson, the Wick had a strong bowling attack and were ready to get stuck into Chertsey. Harmy bowled line and length down the hill, and while Eddie went unrewarded for his efforts, it just brought in Tommy Robinson earlier than normal to pick up the slack. The boy bowled beautifully. Line. Length. At the stumps. Nothing more (well...perhaps the odd one that swung), but good consistent bowling. At 1 for 60 odd, it looked to be a contest to the end. After Tommy's bowling, it was game over. He smashed the stumps down five times. Five times. And picked up his 6th after Lloydy took a one hander behind the stumps. It was a brilliant spell of bowling, and the fact that Lownsy and Harmy could only pick up a few wickets between them (while bowling really well) just showed how good he had been. After 31 overs Chertsey were all out. 13 points. job done.

It was a fantastic team performance, and probably the best of season 2010. Two wins from two now and up to fifth in the league. Still a long way to go to get third place and grab promotion, but if the side can put a run together until the end of the season, a promotion might not be out of the question. Believe.

Wickman Junior

TEAM NEWS - SAT 10th JULY

HWRCC 1ST XI V Old Paulines C.C. (Away)p>

1) Ali
2) Davies
3) Rashid
4) Raza ©
5) Cronin
6) High
7) Madoc-Jones J +
8) Whinny
9) Ewen J
10) Tong
11) Tughral Zam

Umpire: K. Nicholls
Scorer: A. Whicher

Meet: 12:00
Start: 13:30

HWRCC 2ND XI V Old Paulines C.C. (Home)

1) Cole
2) Goulborn
3) Fudge ©
4) Allen
5) Sexton
6) Soppitt
7) Stephens +
8) Marfleet
9) Donnelly
10) Breakwell
11) Webster

Umpire: S. Riley
Scorer: N/A

Meet: 12:00
Start: 13:00

HWRCC 3RD XI V Chertsey C.C. (Home)

1) Risman
2) Cameron ©
3) Tughral Zo
4) Madoc-Jones Snr +
5) Pradeep
6) Edmonds
7) Bendall
8) Austin
9) Lown
10) Robinson
11) Charlton

Umpire: N/A
Scorer: N/A

Meet: 12:00
Start: 13:00

WICK

fantasy cricket week 9

3s destroy Warlingham

Warlingham - 9 for 70 off 20 odd overs (Tommy D 5 for)

lost to Hampton Wick - 2 for 74 (Singh not out 34)

A flat deck, small outfield, and warm conditions greeted the 3s on Saturday in the leafy suburb of Warlingham. It screamed in every possible sense that batting first would be the only option. However, as the opposition presented more like a colts side combined with a few basils, bowling first and getting the job done quickly was the only answer. Toss won. Bowl first.

Eddie Charlton and Tommy D opened the bowling. On his day, Eddie is one of the best bowlers at the club. He swings it, loops it, and touches the ball like Herr Fritzel in an underground cellar. On a bad day....the less said the better. This day we found Eddie coming out of the cellar, handcuffs removed and the free to bowl, but still with nagging doubts about whether he would return to the cellar. His first delivery was a banana, cratering into the opener's off stump. 1-4.

Tommy D was bowling beautifully again. With a lively track, he managed to get the ball to pitch up on a length and jump almost vertically. After Eddie had removed a lively left handed to a good catch from Selves, TD then removed the opener with an LBW and the number 4 with a sharp catch from Joe Hirsh. In between these wickets were a couple of gash balls from Eddie which got belted, and a couple which slipped behind the keeper. At 60-4 Warlingham had clearly scored too many runs.

With Selves coming on up the hill after replacing Charlton, he picked up two wickets in just a few overs. A great catch by Tommy Robinson in slips (welcome back mate) and another by Hirsh at point put Warlingham at 6 down for not many more. Tommy D then got the last three wickets, taking a caught and bowled in his 11th over. Waringham only had 10 men, so their innings had ended after just 21 overs.

Teas - brilliant. Nice thick bread, and a surprise late show with some hot cross buns. Perfect.

Rizzo and Nath set about the task of getting the 71 runs quickly, and the score quickly went to 40 off just 5 overs. One thing that has been a feature of watching the 3s bat (aside from the collapses) has been the rather interesting bodily befowlments by some of the boys watching from the sidelines. The phrase "did somebody step on a duck" has become quite a common line heard recently. Jimmy C's favourite appears to be "can someone get the bucket?!. Either way, the GP may need to get a workout this week, and perhaps a packet of dulcoease (picture attached above) purchased.

Anyway....Hirsh and Risman fell in the chase, but the game was done by 3.30pm. So quick was it that the team weer back at the club to watch the 2s go around. Quick. Job done.

MOM - Tommy D....another 5 for!! His name will largely own the wall in the lofting suite this season. Surely he is making strides to be the player of the year. It's a moniker worth striving for.

Wickman Junior

HWRCC Sunday XI Vs Phoenix. HWRCC won by 6 wickets

Report by James Lloyd Esq.

Rashid, Hirsh, Holland, Davies, Copeland+, Miles, Lloyd, Philp, Unsworth, Edmunds, Charlton

I remember the day when the Wick was a reasonably lively and at best unpredictable beast to tame. Massive ridge at one end, tufts of green grass mottling the playing surface, the odd stray bottle cap embedded in the surface by the local yoof. It all added up to interesting cricket and you really had to keep your head in the game. Sundays game was interesting for its own reasons which we will get into shortly but there was a certain something missing. Sure the boundary was enormous, the track dusty as hell from the two previous games and the outfield hard and bumpy such that fielders often felt like they were diving on a cheese grater but at times you could have been anywhere in the world but leafy suburbia.

As it happened a total of 1,300 runs were scored on that scortched patch of Surrey turf in two days!! But we were the only team to take 10 wickets (actually 15 if you count the dropped catches but anyway). With regular captain Tong auditioning for the next episode of Hollyoaks, it was left to Lloydy to pull together a team from the 5 names provided on Thursday night but after a few pleading text messages and pouring sambucca down Leggsy’s neck until he gave in and agreed to play we finally had a team. Not much bowling but a team it was. Toss won, bat first Fact!

Hirshy and Immy opened up and immediately looked in fine fettle against a brisk if slightly erratic Phoenix opening pair. Hirsh fell to the 1st change chinaman bowler for a good 20 odd and Dutchy continued the onslaught until he pulled his calf running his second 3 in a row and was reduced to the long handled approach. He eventually fell to a grenade from the Kingsfield end which unlike the rest of the spell actually turned. Immy meanwhile played an excellent innings full of confidence and composure with plenty of lusty drives and sharp singles to reach his hundred . Davies joined him and smashed a quick fire 45 with a few disdainful Dil-Scoops and reverse sweeps thrown in for good measure but was caught on the boundary 5 short of his fifty. Harry looked to finish off the innings nicely only to be stumped the penultimate ball and let Phil finish the innings. Wick closed on 252/4 from 40 overs with Immy red ink on 134 no.

Teas- Curiously had a meaty overtone due to Dave getting over excited by a buy 2 get 1 free offer on luncheon meat and salami in his local Saino’s but all good none the less.

In reply captain Lloyd turned to his only two medium pacers in an extremely hungover Edward ‘Chunder’ Charlton and the somewhat tired Imran Rashid to open the innings. A little known fact about Ed is that in order to keep his focus and rhythm when bowling, he utilises his own imaginary internal I-Pod. When asked what tune he has on in his head fully expecting a reply ‘Killing in the Name of’ by Rage Against the Machine or perhaps ‘Smack my B***h up!” by The Prodigy like most pace bowlers, Lloydy was a little taken aback with the reply “Reach for the Stars” by 90’s Candy Pop group S-Club 7. Anyway whatever floats your boat I guess.

At the other end Immy (whom your scribe imagines plays out entire concerto’s in his head to keep relaxed) managed to get one to pop on the opener who could only spoon it to emergency fielder Tom Philp. The rest of the Phoenix bats then decided the best way to get close to our total was to try and smash everything that came at them but were seemingly bereft of the skill to keep the ball down so chances and half chances came thick and fast. Charlton managed to get their No3 to hoik one down long on’s Gregory and the wickets started to fall from there.

Matty D replaced Immy after 4 overs and was bowling well then promptly dropped a skier off his second over- very out of character for him. At the other end Joe Hirsh bowled some lovely legspin but was unfortunately not backed up by his field sufficiently who dropped a couple and then was denied a run out at the non strikers end when the umpire said he couldn’t be sure if he had touched it or not despite the sound and Joey rubbing a bruised finger gingerly. Anyway Davies got him next over holding on to another skier for a C+B and then next over drawing an edge which was snaffled by Harry standing in for the injured Dutchy.

Shortly before the tea break Lloydy had received a text from Leggsy stating “Chundered everywhere can’t get out of toilet, sorry mate”. To be fair, Lloydy had only managed to convince him to play after A LOT of sambucca so not really leggsy’s fault. But due to some quick thinking by Dutchy a replacement was raised in the form of Aussie Doug who became the new Leggsy and bowled some lovely legspin as it happened. So leggies at both ends at the Wick… don’t see that often do you.

By now Phoenix needed 60 off the last 10 overs to win and their loud and to the casual observer, over enthusiastic support was cheering them on to a victory. Doug bowled some very tight lines, kept the runs down and slowly the game started to change. A caught and bowled by the Aussie leggie, a good stumping by harry a direct hit run out by Immy and a suicidal run out by Matty D throwing in from the deep, all in the space of 5 overs swung the game in our direction.

With 2 overs to go and 1 wicket left, Hirshy stepped up, got one to bite and the burly number 11 lofted it to Lloydy at mid off who took the catch on the run to end the innings. In truth we all felt a bit sorry for Hirshy as he bowled excellently against a team that looked to hit everything for 6, but his figures don’t reflect it and he certainly deserved another 3 wickets in the chances put down alone. One for Captain Cameron to bear in mind for the future maybe.

An exciting finish to a game that looked to be taken away from us by some robust hitting and a lack of regular bowlers. But thanks have to go to those players that agreed to play and especially to those that volunteered to bowl on such a flat deck. Phoenix were left to wonder how they snatched defeat from the jaws of victory two years in a row and we were left all wondering whether Immy had in fact had Wheatabix for breakfast as to carry your bat for 40 overs, put on 134 runs, take a wicket with the ball and then a run out is sterling stuff indeed.

As a final thought, captaincy can be a thank less task sometimes, especially when you have only 5 players putting their hands from the regular 33 who play on Saturdays. Sunday cricket is a good standard and a great opportunity to help you find some form especially if you aren’t batting much on Saturdays so please try and support Tongy for the rest of the season as he may need it if he doesn’t get in to Hollyoaks season 97.

Frimley vs 1xi

HWRCC (9pts) drew with Frimley CC (7pts)

Frimley are a great bunch of guys. They smile, they talk to you with affection, they have fans (families), they give you hints about their team, they give you nice teas, they look after Alison, they have a large TV with the World Cup on, and unfortunately yesterday they won the toss. Bow Locks. Im trying to think of a way to describe a flat track without saying Witches t*t. But I can’t.

Frimley won the toss with a clever flick of the wrist and the Wick would open up. With no tail whatsoever, we had to score big.

Davies was dropped first ball of the game at first slip, and then off a leading edge a few overs later, and then also high at cover on over 10. However, in the interim he chose to hit the ball hard everywhere, scoring 66 off a mere 33 balls.

Nomaan got a good one and was caught at 2nd off the shoulder of the keeper.

Whinney, promoted to 3, got a rough lbw, scoring a strong 25.

Rashid scored the same, caught on the boundary.

Kam got 50 without breaking sweat.

Cronin suffered when one brings two. Caught slip.

Mackie laboured somewhat to 15.

Ewen blasted 28 off 15 balls, running himself out (although debate remains as to whether the keeper took it cleanly).

Gates was 33* at the end.

Madoc Jones J on debut scored 10*.

And Marfleet didn’t even get in!

270-8 off 47.5, a score unheard of in recent Wick memory. I think on reflection we could have perhaps got a few more, and that between us someone should have got a ton on that dutch pancake. Nevertheless, 270 is a phat score and by declaring half way through we kept it real somewhat.

Teas – easily a 9. Watching Germany put the nail in Argentinas coffin wasn’t ideal, but the plethora of options was a delight, and the volume was epic. Clearly the families in tow were in on the food stakes and were able to fill their boots once we’d finished.

Ewen and Ali opened up with pace and some good direction, but aside from Joey's extra height and consequent bounce, the track was still lake placid. The first wicket fell at 60-odd and Whinney was the man. His infectious fielding on the awful boundary surface galvanised the team and his breakthrough started a semi rot. Bowled, then a slower ball nicked, then another slower ball toed to cover. Raza than joined the party, somewhat fortuitously inducing the opener to handle the ball on instinct, leaving Frimmers teetering at 100-4. A good run rate, but they certainly wouldn’t have a 7-11 like we did.

Then came the crucial partnership, try as we might we couldn’t get the next breakthrough. Raza did induce some false strokes, but the outfield was so fast and bumpy, the pitch so dead and the ball so scuffed that unless you had a mystery spinner on his game (ahem), we were always up against it getting 10 wickets.

Turning back the years (actually only one year), Raza got the breakthrough, bowled (‘still got it’). A further brief rally almost saw Frimley threaten victory, but at 6 down and new bats at the crease it would be tough. Ali induced two aeriel shots that were both caught by Raza at cover and Frimley were suddenly 8 down needing 40 off 4 overs. That wasn’t going to happen, although we would do well to get 2 more wickets. One Chinese cut failed to nibble the leg stick, but that aside the game ended with a draw and points almost shared.

Wick had the better – certainly bowling better than Frimley did, and probably batting a bit better too (although Frimley did well to bat under more pressure, knowing 271 was a mammoth target to chase down). All in all a welcome change from the past 2 weeks which has seen a game abandoned after 3 overs and a complete thrashing. A game of cricket at last hurrah!

MOM – Whinney for his batting (unlucky), fielding (infectious and fearless) and bowling (straight, experimental, enthusiastic and successful)

What TFC Means

2xi vs Mitcham

Goulborn, Crowther, High, Jackson, Wright, Soppitt, Hibberd, Copeland+, Clark, Webster, Unsworth

HWRCC 260-3 Goulborn 101, Jackson 103*, High 41 (cor!)
Mitcham 237ish Ranatunga / Fat Boy (oppo nicknames) 50, Oppo ‘keeper 50.

Playing golf you don’t have much time to consider your mortality. Nor much reason. From 1 to 18 you are involved in the game. Regretting the last stroke, planning the next, evaluating risk, thinking about club selection, reaching for a hydrating drink or refreshing Marlboro, sledging someone nearby, annoyed at players in other groups who interfere with your round (Hello Julian). It’s a busy game. Owing to the handicapping system the unfit 41 year old can play alongside the 20 year old single figure handicapper with some degree of competition and four hours later you are in the bar anyway.

There’s no TFC in golf. Even if you have an absolute stinker and go round in 100+ you’ll have hit one good shot. Or rattled in a putt. Or a chip had some backspin on it (probably by accident). Or a hooked drive curved perfectly enough for it to be considered a draw. Or you just enjoyed the sight of a blue, blue sky as you hit a perfect wedge. There just isn’t a TFC. Even if you lose, lose, lose you’ve played 18 holes, lost a few balls, missed a six inch putt and hooked or sliced every drive (sometimes both) you’ve still been there and enjoyed every second. Even the bad bits.

Cricket is not quite the same. When you play two sports in a day you get to compare. In the morning you shoot a relatively respectable net 74 (three over the stick) and most of what you do works reasonably well. There are a few moments when you need to dig yourself out of a hole and mostly it doesn’t go catastrophically wrong. In the afternoon you answer the call to help out the 2s (both MS and Charlie Browning turned down the spot before this correspondent was even asked) and it’s a different kettle of fish.

For those of you who foolishly picked Clark as part of your fantasy team, look away now. Eight or so games into the season he plays his first game, bats 8 in a game where only 7 or 8 wickets fell in a day, doesn’t keep as there is a younger, more able, keeper in the side and the skipper doesn’t think his right arm over trundlers are the key to victory on a track so flat that it is rumoured the next world land speed record would be attempted on it. In fact those people running the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah would be seriously concerned if the Wick track was about 10 miles in length. As it would have been perfect to attempt to break land speed records on Saturday.

Luckily for the good folk of Bonneville the flat bit at the Wick is only 22 yards long (actually the only flat bit is more like 16 yards but let’s keep the numbers and explanation simple) and you would need (starting at the Kingston end) to be able to accelerate to 764 miles per hour in between the postern rail and the crease. Which is about 100 metres. You would need about four jet engines and probably wheels made out of tungsten or something. With big spikes in. Or something.

That the pitch is not a mile long is critical as even if you did manage to reach 764 mph you wouldn’t get the record as you would have to average that speed over the mile distance. On top of that you would need shit hot breaks or brilliant reactions to avoid the sightscreen at the Millennium Wood end to get down from 764 to 0 in the available space. Wickman is guessing you would die as the postern rail at the wood end decapitated you. If not you would be mangled in the Millennium Wood’s trees anyway. That’s if you didn’t hit a deer. If you hit a deer at pace you will take its legs out and the body will crash into the cockpit. Even if you had decelerated your car to 200mph you would still end up with 100+ kg of raw venison in your lap at a force of something like 400 Newtons (don’t bother to work it out, I haven’t and I don’t care) and Wickman is guessing that it would hurt, even if you hit a female deer without horns. Because no brakes in the world would stop you on the July outfield at the Wick. Glass? It was like facking diamond.

Erm. Back to the report.

Webster, standing in for skipper Fudge, lost the toss to Mitcham, and they chose to insert (despite only having 10 men in 30 degree heat) as they didn’t want to lose the game by batting first and not getting enough runs.

Crowther and Goulborn opened up and saw off the shiny bit where the ball would do anything. Pinball looked good but found a way to get out, while Goulborn played one of those Golby innings where the late cut, the straight drive with much wristage, the three pace down the track defensive shot with raised left calf muscle, the cover drive and the extravagant miss of the leg side ball were much in evidence. He bided his time, was watchful and didn’t give a single chance that this correspondent noticed in between staring off into the middle distance and remembering how beautiful the Wick was.

Jackson at the other end was slightly more brisk in his approach (although he runs like Ed Moses used to run the 400 metre hurdles but without any pace [all bounce and no impetus] – the resemblance to the lemonade icon Fido Dido chilling in all but coolness). Where Goulborn was all Goulborn, Jackson has somewhere discovered some balance. Instead of trying to play every drive by leaning back, he seemed to arrive a moment earlier to the pitch and time it more sweetly than this correspondent has seen before. Some extremely authentic shots went with his poor running and he found the boundary enough in his first fifty to turn many of his threes into twos without much damage to the run rate.

Both bats went to fifty within a ball which must have upset the oppo no end. They then progressed relatively serenely (the occasional unconfirmed LBW aside) (and perhaps the occasional dropped edge) through the 80s and 90s until Golby (who suddenly outstripped Jackson) earned a well deserved ton first. Golby then got out (LBW to a full toss or similar) before Jackson also progressed to three figures to leave everyone wondering when it was that two tons were scored by Wick bats in one league game.

This was a fine performance by both. Watchful. Determined. Patient. Fluent. All good words. To describe batting that had panache (Jackson) and delicacy (Goulborn). Perhaps the innings of the day though was played by Charlie High at 3 who absolutely destroyed the opposition for 41 of the most brisk and powerfully hit runs you will see at the Wick. Absolutely murdered them like a recently released prisoner from gaol, leaving an ex girlfriend mutilated in the hall, her new lover dead on the front lawn, and when the Police came round, he’d already left. Nice. Now that’s saying something when two other batsmen made tons. All three deserve MOM in different ways.

Tea was tea. Rather like various historians who have chosen to, from time to time, try to rehabilitate folk like Hitler (great leader and pedagogue, slightly dodgy attitudes to Jews) or Stalin (beloved by his people whom he regularly sacrificed in their millions for the greater good) there have been match reports this correspondent has seen which have attempted to put Dave Bartle-Wilson on a par with the culinary giants of our generation. Blumenthal. Adria. Roux. Larousse etc etc.

Freed from sampling his work on a two week cycle this writer is keen on Dave’s teas. Perhaps he has become like David Irving momentarily. Untethered. Unable to locate his moral compass. But Dave is doing good things in that serving hatch. 7 this week. Without a doubt. A good solid 7. Nothing new but no ethnic minorities murdered. Which is good.

And so the field. The batsmen recorded, despite wanting us to know that their 100s were well earned, that the deck was doing very little. We had assembled 260 -3 in 51. It was up to us to try to take wickets early, or give them enough of a sniff late on to presage a collapse.

In the event both Webster and Unsworth bowled with creditable pace and hostility. But despite some rather edgy play from both Mitcham openers, no breakthrough was forthcoming. Try as they might, only Unsworth produced a chance (high to first slip) and both were unable to provide a breakthrough. The stand in skipper called on Soppitt after the drinks break and he secured the breakthrough eventually after chances were spurned, bowling one of the openers with a perfectly positioned Yorker.

Sopppitt gave a very good account, varying pace and flight and was unlucky to only snag three in a long spell. The ground fielding was largely exemplary. But five catches were declined in all although none could be described as sitters or dollies. The best of the opposition batting came from their ‘keeper who made a very brisk 50.

The spirit in the outfield was well marshalled by Crowther who was electric all afternoon. Jackson took a steepler at midwicket, and Crowther another at Extra. The skipper had the field just about right and there was little danger that we would concede once it became clear that Mitcham’s caution early on had left them too much to do. But the Wick would not win because the wicket did not have result written all over it.

Which takes us back to the beginning of the piece. In a game of cricket, unlike golf, there is plenty of time to think about the passage of time. The ball can come nowhere near you for periods of 15 minutes at a time. With no hope of being tossed the cherry there is ample opportunity to massage the thighs, adjust your cap against the glare of the setting sun and think about whether, when the ball does come to you, your muscles will behave as you remember they used to. Far enough away from the action, you may occasionally bellow some encouragement or other. You may pass another fielder between overs. Mostly there is time to consider you role in the side and decide that the passage of time has rendered you TFC – thanks for coming. You’ve plugged a gap. Cut off maybe ten runs. Put the game in the balance by employing the long barrier perhaps. But with no runs and without bowling a single ball, you are surplus to the action. Unable to dictate the fate of the game.

Is cricket then a charmless game? Can you enjoy it if largely unemployed? If your role is already played, does the time you spend ruminating on your lack of impact just wasted moments that can never been regained? Does its simple rhythms give you time to re-confirm your decision to play golf instead?

An outside edge hurtles down towards you at third man via vacant slip. You see their ‘keeper haring off on a rapid first (Jackson, please note). As the ball gets to you and you gather it without a fumble, peripherally you see the keeper stretch his bat and ground it at the far end and turn, calling his partner through for a second. He thinks there’s no risk from the fattish contemplater by the boundary. And suddenly you are alive in a way that golf can’t provide. Your arm goes back in a seamless movement and you realise you have the ball in your fingers, not the palm.

You see the keeper mostly and the three sticks and you let go the flattest, hardest throw you can. As you realise the arc of your throw will hit your keeper’s gloves within a yard of the bails you clock the oppo keeper sprinting back and you can see him starting to really push and stretch. You scream “take them off” (probably upsetting a nearby female jogger) and you bounce twice on the balls of your feet as first Harry catches your throw and then breaks the stumps. It takes another second to process the obvious delight of all around when everyone knows it’s out. And the surge of pride and elation when you realise you have avoided the TFC is immense.

A good game of cricket all in all. 100 overs fails to separate the sides. A classic for the purists perhaps. MOM somewhere between Golby and Jackson. Points marginally to HWRCC. And cricket ever so slightly ahead of golf in the standings, if not for The President whose 65 secures him the July medal and the day’s bragging rights on the balcony. TFC means turning up, doing your best and drinking a couple of really cold ones on the balcony at the end of the day and enjoying excellent company. TFC is WICK.

TEAM NEWS - SAT 3RD JULY

HWRCC 1ST XI V Frimley

1) Ali 2) Davies 3) Rashid 4) Raza © 5) Cronin 6) Madoc-Jones J 7) Gates 8) Mackie + 9) Whinny 10) Marfleet 11) Ewen J

Umpire: K. Nicholls

Scorer: A. Whicher

Meet: 11:15

Start: 13:30

HWRCC 2ND XI V Mitcham

1) High 2) Goulborn 3) Fudge © 4) Crowther 5) Jackson 6) Wright 7) Soppitt 8) Copeland H + 9) Hibberd 10) Unsworth 11) Webster

Umpire: S. Riley

Scorer: N/A

Meet: 12:00

Start: 13:00

HWRCC 3RD XI V Warlingham

1) Risman 2) Hirsch 3) Singh 4) Lloyd + 5) Edmonds 6) Madoc-Jones Snr 7) Cameron © 8) Selves 9) Donnelly 10) Robinson 11) Charlton

Umpire: N/A

Scorer: N/A

Meet: 11:15

Start: 13:00

Good Luck to everyone involved...

WICK WASH

Fantasy cricket up to week 8

2nd XI - Match Report (Stoke D'Abernon)

"WICK HAVING A SMASHING TIME AT STOKE..."

Saturday afternoon brought about the much anticipated top of the table clash between Stoke D’abernon and the Wick. Stoke had remained undefeated since their opening game defeat to the Wick and would have been confident on continuing in the same form. What unfolded turned out to be more one sided than Golby’s wagon wheel.

The pitch looked flat and the outfield fast so a high scoring game looked on the cards. Fudgey took the boys for a light warm up to which Stoke responded “ it’s too hot for that” and at least one player opted for a one to one with Mr B.ecks. Advantage Wick.

Fudgey won the toss and elected to bowl on the hottest day of the year and battle commenced.

Leggsy and Webbo opened up and immediately were on the money. With both opening batsmen struggling to get the ball to leave the square. It was not long before Leggsy got an edge which went safely to first slip only for the umps to rule a no ball. No matter, only an over later he got the same batsmen caught and bowled. Webbo was generating some decent pace and bounce which proved far too much for McMillan who edged straight to the waiting gloves of Harry behind the sticks. Stoke were struggling at 25-2.

It was not long before they were 3 down with Webbo removing Watson with the easiest LBW decision umpires have to make. On the full in front of all 3, job done. Webbo bowled a superb spell of 11 over’s for 12 runs with 2 wickets for good measure. Superb effort of a flat deck.

Leggsy was replaced by Breakwell who was greeted by a smash through mid wicket by Bradford-Smith from his first ball. Interesting. A few over’s later he was on his way back to the pavilion having edged again through to Harry. Stoke were now 59-4.

Whilst the wickets were falling at the other end Tufts was slowly compiling a nice start for himself. He and Gottschalk put on 40 before Breakwell removed Gottschalk’s middle stump (99-5). He was joined at the wicket by Crisp and they took the score along nicely to 133-5 before Tufts who had batted so nicely for his 50 hit Leggsy straight to Coley at cover (133-6).

Wick could sense that now was the time to really ram home the advantage. The last 4 wickets fell for just 9 runs as Breakwell opted for the you miss I hit policy and cleaned up the tail with 3 wickets in an over. His hat trick ball being defended stoutly by Parrett. He finished with 6-35 and Stoke had been dismissed for just 142 on a pitch that resembled the Oval on a flat day.

Tea was taken with varying degrees of satisfaction. It appeared that either a barbecue had happened the night before or an Iceland lorry had shed it load nearby and its contents made their way into the stoke freezer. Either way an award of 5/10 is about right.

Down to the run chase.

Coley and Golby opened up and safely negotiated the first few over’s where Bond was generating a lively pace. Golby got the scoring started with two lovely shots for four off Parrett, one through his traditional alley the other through the covers. Coley was more circumspect to start but took a liking to a quick bouncer from Bond and lofted it over the slips where third man could only palm it for a maximum. Both batsmen were under way.

Parrett was removed from the attack quicker than you can say “hey you guys” after an expensive 3 over’s and replaced by Harkett. Golby continued to score at a healthy rate (29 from 30) until he tried to cut one which was a bit too full and straight and got an under edge to be bowled (47-1)

This brought Fudgey (and quite a lot of form) to the crease. He and Coley were happy to pat back all Harketts offerings, as the runs were coming quicker than if you opted for one of the prawn skewers at lunch from the other end. Neither batsmen was in any trouble as they progressed the score onto 100 with ease,dispatching boundaries off Crisp and Gottschalk almost at will.

Harkett continued to keep one end tight but he could do nothing to stop the haemorrhaging of runs from the other end. McMillan was brought into the attack and after being put into the fence (Fudgey), almost impaling Parrett in the process for six and then into the polo windscreen (Coley) for the same outcome was asked to take a blow.

Fudgey brought up his fourth 50 of the season with a nice drive into the off side. All that was left to complete a great day was to see if Coley could do the same. Stoke brought back the lively Bond who opted to bowl round the wicket to Coley, dot, four, four, game over. Wick win by 9 wickets. Coley 51* Fudgey 60* . As emphatic as you can get. As a team we played superbly and got our rewards.

Onwards to Mitcham at home next week and without the distraction of England in the football, Wick will be looking to get another maximum return.

MOM - Breakwell

http://hwrcc.play-cricket.com/scoreboard/scorecard.asp?id=10912414

WICK