1xi Season Report

HWRCC 1XI 2011: Promoted. Unbeaten. Job done.

I want to tell you a story. Once upon a time in a Royal Park not far away a cricket team decided to pull their finger out and achieve something they had been threatening to do for 4 long years. Ever since a dark day in Godalming in 2007, when the same team (if not the same personnel) failed miserably to chase down 160 on the flattest track south of the Kennington Oval, the Wick 1xi had been caught in limbo - stuck in a standard of cricket that varies from the sublime to the ridiculous, and in a league designed to frustrate...

Or is it? If there is one lesson that we should take from this season, it's that cricket is even more than ever a game played in your head. It's about pressure and how you handle it. Forget the rules, forget the pitch. Forget the silly dibbly-dobbly who could get you caught at mid on. They don't matter - and this year they didn't as the boys produced a season full of verve and drive that put such pressure on opposition teams that not only did we turn up believing we were going to win, the opposition turned up expecting to lose.

The league season reads P17, W12, D4, A1. Bearing in mind there were two draws in the final two games, you can get a sense of how dominant we were. There are some well worn facts about this team that I will mention here - most of these are reported on a weekly basis so need not be repeated at length:

Nomaan Ali scored 719 league runs this year and over 900 including cup games. His last two scores were 2 and 0. Cricket is a strange game. That is quite a ridiculous return and he will win League batsman of the Year.

We chased large totals (220 against Shepperton off 35 overs for the loss of 3 wickets) and small totals (smiting Ripley away like a pesky fly). We defended large totals (240 against Old Paulines and then bowled them out for 170) and when we'd struggled invariably on difficult tracks we turned up the pressure-ometer and cleaned the opposition up (Wallington for example).

The fact that Zammack often batted number 11 gives a clue as to the strength of our batting - pretty much everyone could bat top 6 in almost all opponents' line ups. Adam O'Mahoney took the most catches in the league (in fact all 4 divisions of the Fullers setup I believe) - probably because we found more edges than anyone else. At times I had seven bowlers to choose from - all of whom were more than capable of cleaning up (and invariably took it in turns to do so - Zamm, Graham Tong, Alex, Nomaan all taking 5 wicket hauls)... and the ever reliable Kamm and Shri complemented by the incoming Iain Tong and Vish made our attack almost ridiculous. In fact it was ridiculous.

But these stats don't tell the story that needs to be told - and that's about cricket more generally. I remember remarking to The Lord (Pete Culham for the uninitiated) once in the bar perhaps 12 years ago after a tough game in the Thames Valley, that to win at cricket you had to be a C*NT. I think he was taken aback by my frankness. To be fair I was probably drunk as most 15 year olds would have been after a lager shandy (oh how lax standards were in those days - Ed), but I stand by this sentiment, even if the term used didn't, and still doesn't, accurately describe what I mean. You have to be ruthless. You can't hide. Forget looking stupid, you have to out yourself out there, but you also need to value your wicket. It's not easy, but winners have to earn the right to be such, and you don't get anything for coming third - not in the Fullers. And most importantly you have to be selfish. A selfish b*stard.

We won loads of games this year and many a turning point can be pointed at, but I'd like to tell a short tale of two contrasting fixtures that arguably gave me more pleasure than any of the fixtures than preceded them. They were the final two games - neither of which were won, but both of which showed everything that is great (and terrible) about cricket and provide a fitting conclusion to a successful season.

Chobham

We were promoted with 2 games to go. Mathematically guaranteed. But we were still in the hunt for the league title. Our arrival at a sunny Chobham was met with total indifference by an opposition who seemed to care more about the Daily Mirror than playing cricket. Not even a "Hello", or even an acknowledgement that it was wet - just total indifference. And I wouldn't have minded if it was indeed wet! It was bloody dry. I had to invade their precious clubhouse and invite them to take their covers off so that the wicket (covered for 2 days) could be viewed and allowed to dry (again... not that it was wet!). There were a few puddles that needed skewering (a 5 minute job that we as the opposing team did) and we should have been off. There were numerous other incidents that I need not go into here - suffice to say there is probably a reason that that club only has 16 registered adult players.

The game in effect became an absolute damp squib, with yours truly and Kam (under my instruction) opting to block out 15 overs out of principle to secure a draw, rather than gamble and go for a winning draw/win and risk a loss and give Chobham points they didn't deserve. The abuse received in the field (and to a certain extent in the dressing room) was perhaps understandable, but reasons for this approach will be explained shortly.

Battersea Ironsides

Battersea were an absolute pleasure to host. The weather was fine and the track looked a belter. As is tradition, Battersea have a few strong bats up top and then fade away. They also have a few decent bowlers and one who gives it more flight that Delboy. Battersea won the toss and batted. The track was lurvely and despite one eary breakthrough from Graham, the runs were coming freely. In Zamm's absense this necessitated a lengthly spell from Mr Relibale Kam Raza who bowled 15 overs of controlled off spin. The 3rd wicket fell with the score on 190 and Batterseas ended up on 210 off 51 overs. The fact it took so long is testament to the control of all bowlers on the day who kept their discipline. For the record, at the death if Kam had taken a catch at cow Alex would have had a hat trick. Heehee.

In response we were soon in trouble with Noman leaving the third ball of the day that hooped in and bowled him. Neither Alex nor Adam lasted much longer which left some rebuilding work for Raza and Davies. With an attacking brief, both moved things along, putting on about 120 for the 4th wicket. As both tired, the turning point may have actually been their lazy dismissals, bringing as it did some fresh legs to the crease. Iain Tong and JMJ set about the task of going at a run a ball for 12 overs with great gusto - some powerful heaves, intelligent running and classy drives kept the scores moving along beautifully. As the balconies filled and the sun began to set a great finish was in order. Iain fell, as did Matt Cronin, leaving Vish with JMJ. A few smites and he was gone, leaving about 18 off the last two, and 9 off the last, Wick 8 wickets down and all results still possible. 4 to win off the last ball, JMJ on strike - it's heaved to cow and JMJ is run out diving full stretch going for the 3rd. Wick get the winning draw and a fitting end to a great season.

Conclusions and lessons learnt

These last two games tell many stories. Firstly, the Wick had earned the right to play the game how we wanted it to be played. We'd secured promotion with 2 games to go and from a position of comfort we were able to dictate terms. Chobham? Screw them. We didn't lose and ended up being unbeaten for an entire season - they could only dream of winning cricket matches and the fact we were able to prevent them doing so when they had a real chance gives me great satisfaction and is in my view a 'win'. HWRCC were promoted and Chobham ened up relegated - you really do get what you deserve. Kam and I played like c*nts that final 12 overs, but we'd earnt the right to do so. That's cricket. And would it have been fair to the team that fought hard elsewhere to avoid relegation for us to play like idiots? No.

Secondly, in the Battersea game we were able to get within 2 runs of chasing 210 (off 43 overs remember), having been 20-3. Noman didn't get anything, nor Alex who was off the back of 40, 60 and 40 in his last three innings. Yet we still had the strength in character and depth of quality to get within a simdgen of winning, chasing over 200.

Thirdly, the Wick is a glorious place to be. Whilst Chobham is a great tour venue with the attractive spire and the lush english field feeling, it doesnt have the dramatic character of the Wick on a warm summer's evening with two full balconies. And JMJ running himself out off the last ball going for a third run made for a great season finale.

Fouthly Battersea continue to be a great club and we shall miss them next year. At least 8 of them hung around for drinks for a few hours. We shall investigate some pre-season friendlies next year.

Finally - the team went unbeaten for an entire league season. That is a remarkable achievement. To not let your guard down even once to lose, and when the guard was wavering someone propped up the side like a girder. Every team has stars but we've had at least 18, 20 including Keith and Alison, who are as much part of the scene as anyone.

We are now going places.....game on.

Tour Report - by Selvesy

"Edmonds finds a crack early on, but is reportedly retired drunk later"

Touring X: Davies. Cronin. O'Mahoney. Tong, G. Tong, I. Fahad. Edmonds. Selves. Charlton. Mo Bal.(Denly, Joe Saturday only).

Saturday 17th September Hampton Wick Touring X vs the Bars of Canterbury and Faversham.

Sunday 18th September Hampton Wick Touring X vs The Phoenix Tavern CC

Hampton Wick Touring X won by 71 runs.

HWRCC: 260 for 5 from 36
Ian Tong (Ting) 50* retired
Bonny 45
Cronin 41
Matty D 37*
Tongy 31
Fahad 12
Charlton 4* (reverse sweep)
Selves 1 (gloved at that!)

The Phoenix Tavern CC 189 all out from 33
Mohit 2-45
Charlton 2-32
Bonny 2-20
Tongy 2-26
Selvesy 1-3
Cronin direct hit run out (got spanked bowling)
Edmonds spanked.
Fahad too quick.

As a fantastic season for the WICK came to a close a few of the lads jumped in their cars and headed down to Kent for a last swing and chuck. With Saturday’s game falling through Matty D filled the void with a tour of the Shepherd Neame brewery in Faversham. Chedwood had spent the trip down drinking a slab of fizzy lager in the back of Matt Cronin's car and found the forty minute tour without booze, yet talking about nothing but booze, quite hard to deal with.

Fahad, however, was loving the history of how the English mix together lots of good healthy things and turn them into muddy water that induces more love from some men than most show to their wives. The tasting session and drinks after got the boys back in the flow and Fahad debated the relative merits of Coke and Pepsi while Chedwood ordered a lager at the bar in the oldest bitter brew house in the UK.

A quick sprucing up and the allocation of accommodation then off to Canterbury to look at the cathedral. In Canterbury there where a few firsts: Chedwood got served without ID and paid for a whole round by themselves (the boys are growing up so fast); Mo ordered so much Sambuca that they had to serve the fourth round of shots in ten minutes in sherry glasses; for five minutes the Wick had an international batsman on tour with them, Joe Denly, but he bottled it when Mo went back to the bar for the fifth round of bucas; Fahad went to a night club (the term night club is used as loosely as the term tour for a one match trip to Kent). Much hilarity took place in said establishment, including the wonders of Ian Tong (Read Ting) as a magnet for any lady in Kent and Chedwood announcing they love Canterbury while Selvesy and Matty D turn to each other and ask if they are getting too old for this shi....

Back in Faversham the decision to put Chedwood next to a bathroom paid off as they both brought up their kebabs in spectacular style (Ed needs a new sleeping bag). In the morning there was some percussive rugby watching and then we remembered why we were there.

Selvesy won toss and chose to bat. Deciding there was a chance for some runs Fahad (the only one sober at the time) and Selvesy opened up on a track that was as green as Chedwood after a night of Sambuca and vomming. Fahad blazed to 12 before missing one. Selvesy missed everything except the one that he gloved down the leg side for 1 before missing a straight one. Selvesy's father looked on wondering what his son actually did at those expensive boarding schools and where it all went wrong.

Cronin and Tongy G steadied the drunken ship, although with some interesting shots at times from Tongy, and a few dropped catches later had the WICK at 61 for 2 off 17. At this point it should be said that each incoming bat was told the shot they had to play off the first ball they faced and Tongy’s leg glance off one pitching outside off was a giggle. Then when Tongy got skittled (Fahad has the video footage from the umpire spot, link to you tube coming soon) Bonny went in needing a reverse sweep off the first ball. He survived, just.

Once the opening bowlers quotas were up Bonny and Cronin went on to punish the change bowlers. Cronin fell in the 40s and Ting strode out with his first shot to be a leave. The opposition had by now twigged what was going on and had realised that someone would be told to leave his first ball at some point. However with the openers done they lacked someone who could hit the stumps to order and Ting was safe fielding arms as the bowler ran up to the stumps. After his sighter Ting then gave it a good whack. The score went up like Mo's bar tab and the WICK were soon on 120 for 3 from 22 and Bonny was now having to bat while Selvesy, umpiring, was telling him with sign language what shot to play as the bowler ran in (stick cricket with real people). This time the reverse sweep was quality but Bonny eventually went for 45.

Out came Matty D as the bowler said, "the problem is every wicket we take the batting gets better". He then bowled a good ball and Matty D played a solid block. Matty D wasn't playing the “this is your first your shot” games like those pesky kids. Ting hit 50 and took a bow and out went Charlton, the one who puts the wood in Chedwood. First shot instructions: reverse sweep slog. Charlton will struggle to play a better shot ever again. It nearly went for six and the opposition was starting to dread what would happen when Mo and Charles got in. But the heavens opened and the WICK declared for an early tea on 260 for 5 from 36. Which is a shame, as Mo does like to Mohit. Although Charles was happy as he still looked as green as the wicket.

The rain did not last and the boys took to the wet pitch with a bar of soap that had swelled nicely over tea. Charlton and Mo (who likes to Mohit Mohit, sung to the tune of, I like to move it move it. Matty D comedy genius) opened up and both hit the sticks in their first over. Charlton picked up another with a one handed catch from Edmonds and Selves senior came to the crease.

All catching had to be one handed and the way Charles took a regulation sitter with one hand suggests a change of technique could be of benefit for the WICK'S most loveable chain smoker. Selvesy was not planning on bowling but when Charlton pulled up with a Sambuca related injury Selvesy, standing at mid off, was the closest to fill in. A couple of overs later, having trapped his old man lbw (so plumb the umpire, employed by Selves senior, had to give it) Selvesy took himself off for Edmonds with The Phoenix on 65 for 4 from 10 (45 of those from their gun bat).

Edmonds paid the price for his hangover and perhaps he should have tweaked the ball a bit more like the rather attractive lady's derrière outside of the kebab house that morning. Indeed the dexterity with which Charles held and ate a kebab in one hand whilst working his magic with the other shows great promise with the ball with a bit more practice. That said so could the derriere tweaking, after a few goes the young lady made it clear that enough was enough. Meanwhile Mo plugged away at the other end (we are back on the cricket now) and picked up another clean bowled.

The Phoenix were 75 for 5 and along with the opening bat who was close to 50 their number seven was settling in and as it would have been a shame to take Fahad all that way without a bowl he had a go with a ball that now look like a soap on a rope after a tough day in the wormwood scrub showers. Three slips, gully, fly slip and point, Mo drying the ball at midd off and Bonny, having given the gloves to Cronin, pacing the leg side warming up his bowling arm. Fahad bowled so well with the soap but was perhaps a bit too good (and quick) to find the edge. Charlton had another go at the other end and the Phoenix dug, edged and pulled their way to 128 for 5 from 26. With the Phoenixes gun bat in the 80s it needed something special and Bonny replaced Charlton. First ball gun bat caught and bowled. Half tracker would be unfair but their bat did well to hit it before it bounced again. But Bonny got a taste for it and finding a line just outside off picked up another with a great catch, one handed of course, at deep cover by Charlton.

Tongy replaced Fahad and gave us all a glimpse of the off spin he plans to bowl in his late thirties and Mo took a great, you guessed it, one handed catch at midd off. By now Cronin had had a go keeping and gave the gloves to Mo so Cronin could have a bowl. However before he could get on he picked up a drive at midd off and with a direct hit ran out the non striker. Cronin then came on for Bonny and perhaps wished he didn't. Luckily for him though Tongy wrapped things up at the other end next over but not before Mo had let one bye through, and with each bye resulting in a round of Sambuca Mo was also a happy man when the stumps got hit. The Phoenix all out for 189 from 33.

Other than perhaps the 2 run win in the 3s top of the table clash this year it was one of the best WICK games this writer has played in, genuine fun on all sides. Plans are in place for a three or four day tour to Kent again next season with games of varying standard but certainly taking on the Phoenix again. WICK.

Barbados Tour 2013

With the proposed tour 18 months away, we are now looking to confirm with people who wish to come along.

At the moment we have 10 people signed up to the direct debit scheme. At this stage, we are wanting people who are looking to come on tour but not signed up to the direct debit scheme to commit £250 by October 31st so we can start looking towards booking flights in April 2012. We will need to book flights around this time to secure the best prices/deals in terms of luggage and flights. We are looking to get 20 people signed up.

Please can you reply to hwrcctour2013@hotmail.co.uk by September 20th to let us know:

a) yes I want to come on tour and will pay £250 by October 31st

b) No I dont want to come on tour

c) I am unsure at the moment. Details of the bank details will be sent over.

thanks

TEAMS - SAT 3RD SEPT

SAT 3RD SEPT

1ST XI V BATTERSEA (H)

1 Ali 2 Day 3 O'Mahoney (+) 4 Raza 5 Davies © 6 Tong, I 7 Maddoc-Jones James 8 Cronin 9 Tong, G 10 Abeyrante, Vishva 11 Shinde

U: K. Nicholls S: A. Whitcher

M: 12:30 S: 13:30

2ND XI V GODALMING (A)

1 Rashid 2 Jackson © 3 Mackie (+) 4 High 5 Crowther 6 Soppitt 7 Tanveer, Fahad 8 McMullan 9 Charlton 10 Donnelly 11 Goodwin

U: S. Riley S: N/A

M: 10:30 S: 12:00

3RD XI V Old Rutlishians (H)

1 N. Singh © 2 Goulborn 3 Clements (+) 4 Byrne, Dan 5 Edmonds 6 Kamboh, Nav 7 Miles 8 Vijayakumar, Pradeep 9 Linter 10 Sadiq, Zeeshan 11 Ilyas, Aqeel

U: N/A S: N/A

M: 11:30 S: 12:00

Good Luck To everyone involved.

WICK