5-0 Thrashing - Scapegoat Needed...

Graeme Swann's ill-timed biography is the real reason England lost 5-0 in India. After a summer where even the weather conspired against India to leave them without an International win, the hosts turned the tables on a hapless English side to leave them sorely embarrassed by their trip to the jewel in the crown.

The conditions in India are always difficult to navigate. Pitches which turn part-time twirlers into world beaters and fast bowlers into trundlers don't help. Evening dew, smog and rabid fans come together to make life uncomfortable for visiting teams. But how come this England team played with so little joie de vivre and elan? How did a team that won a game by 10 wickets in September lose 10 for forty something yesterday? Why are our players fighting each other and looking moodier than Stuart Broad after a trip to the match referee's hut?

Wickman's search for a scapegoat has stopped at Swanny's hotel door. In the week the boys left for the land of curry and abysmal musicals his auto-biography was serialised. In it he slags off the team's world class maverick bat, KP, saying that he couldn't captain his way out of a wet paper bag. He also laid into Fatty Patel for some ruck or other in the past. Wickman forgets the rest. But what a way to treat your teammates and your newish One Day skipper!

Swann then wasn't allowed anywhere near the media, was comprehensively out-performed by Patel and only managed two wickets in four games while folk like Tiwary - who bowls utter filth - filled their boots with English wickets. Without his chum de bum Jimmy A on tour, and probably having been bollocked half to death by the England management, Swann seemed subdued and cheerless in the field and was treated with scant respect by the oppo.

Those that follow English team members on Twitter will have observed the playground bully banter that Swann indulges in against teammates. His post match bravado filled interviews remind Wickman of the graceless offerings of rugby's Matt Dawson. Perhaps this time Swann's brand of braggadocio has had a far more profound affect on his own dressing room. Let's face it. India is probably THE hardest tour. You don't want to have to take it on with a divided team, many of them with knives in their backs either crticised outright by someone within the dressing room or damned with faint praise.

Wickman seriously worries about the upcoming 2020 international. Will the boys really want to play for a skipper that they can't trust?

Surrey Championship Dinner

Older viewers of the blog may well remember a few years back the farrago of Henry Kelly's visit to Sandown. If not, search the blog and enjoy a report of a previous visit to the SC Dinner when an inebriated Kelly bored and insulted Surrey's finest club crickets and administrators before being booed off. Folk that were there that night made lofty promises never to return etc etc. But with the venue moved to the Oval and reports that Surrey had cleaned up its act, Mao, Clarky, Mr Bean, Alison, Nathan and various excited 3xi players decided to climb in to pick up the 3xi Div 2 Champions Trophy.

Ever so suprsingly we all had a cracking evening. The booze was drinkable and the evening's entertainment was... well... entertaining. The evening was well compered by a chap called Roger Makin who blended quick fire wit with hilarious tales of conceding an enormous number of goals against the Squareheads in a hockey international back in the day.

Tea received 6 out of ten. Cauliflower soup with some excellent croutons, some kind of beef and ale pie with veg and a pudding that evades the memory.

Theo Paphitis of Dragons Den and sponsor Rymans fame submitted to a Q&A and acquitted himself well despite the lateness of the hour and the imbibed nature of the audience.

The man that put the Wales into the England and Wales Cricket Board - offspinner Robert Croft - handed out the prizes and then told a number of amusing anecdotes about his time at Glamorgan. As this was towards the end of the evening, recollections are sparse but mostly involved Viv Richards smashing crap bowling into the Bristol Channel and the punchline "That's comin back wid seaweed on it". It was very amusing if you were there.

Pictured are the 3xi with Alison, brandishing the "trophy" [coming to a wall near you soon] and giving manly hugs to Crofty himself. Who was a legend and didn't mind having a bunch of well-oiled folk demanding photos of him with various bits of brass and silver.

1xi Season Report

HWRCC 1XI 2011: Promoted. Unbeaten. Job done.

I want to tell you a story. Once upon a time in a Royal Park not far away a cricket team decided to pull their finger out and achieve something they had been threatening to do for 4 long years. Ever since a dark day in Godalming in 2007, when the same team (if not the same personnel) failed miserably to chase down 160 on the flattest track south of the Kennington Oval, the Wick 1xi had been caught in limbo - stuck in a standard of cricket that varies from the sublime to the ridiculous, and in a league designed to frustrate...

Or is it? If there is one lesson that we should take from this season, it's that cricket is even more than ever a game played in your head. It's about pressure and how you handle it. Forget the rules, forget the pitch. Forget the silly dibbly-dobbly who could get you caught at mid on. They don't matter - and this year they didn't as the boys produced a season full of verve and drive that put such pressure on opposition teams that not only did we turn up believing we were going to win, the opposition turned up expecting to lose.

The league season reads P17, W12, D4, A1. Bearing in mind there were two draws in the final two games, you can get a sense of how dominant we were. There are some well worn facts about this team that I will mention here - most of these are reported on a weekly basis so need not be repeated at length:

Nomaan Ali scored 719 league runs this year and over 900 including cup games. His last two scores were 2 and 0. Cricket is a strange game. That is quite a ridiculous return and he will win League batsman of the Year.

We chased large totals (220 against Shepperton off 35 overs for the loss of 3 wickets) and small totals (smiting Ripley away like a pesky fly). We defended large totals (240 against Old Paulines and then bowled them out for 170) and when we'd struggled invariably on difficult tracks we turned up the pressure-ometer and cleaned the opposition up (Wallington for example).

The fact that Zammack often batted number 11 gives a clue as to the strength of our batting - pretty much everyone could bat top 6 in almost all opponents' line ups. Adam O'Mahoney took the most catches in the league (in fact all 4 divisions of the Fullers setup I believe) - probably because we found more edges than anyone else. At times I had seven bowlers to choose from - all of whom were more than capable of cleaning up (and invariably took it in turns to do so - Zamm, Graham Tong, Alex, Nomaan all taking 5 wicket hauls)... and the ever reliable Kamm and Shri complemented by the incoming Iain Tong and Vish made our attack almost ridiculous. In fact it was ridiculous.

But these stats don't tell the story that needs to be told - and that's about cricket more generally. I remember remarking to The Lord (Pete Culham for the uninitiated) once in the bar perhaps 12 years ago after a tough game in the Thames Valley, that to win at cricket you had to be a C*NT. I think he was taken aback by my frankness. To be fair I was probably drunk as most 15 year olds would have been after a lager shandy (oh how lax standards were in those days - Ed), but I stand by this sentiment, even if the term used didn't, and still doesn't, accurately describe what I mean. You have to be ruthless. You can't hide. Forget looking stupid, you have to out yourself out there, but you also need to value your wicket. It's not easy, but winners have to earn the right to be such, and you don't get anything for coming third - not in the Fullers. And most importantly you have to be selfish. A selfish b*stard.

We won loads of games this year and many a turning point can be pointed at, but I'd like to tell a short tale of two contrasting fixtures that arguably gave me more pleasure than any of the fixtures than preceded them. They were the final two games - neither of which were won, but both of which showed everything that is great (and terrible) about cricket and provide a fitting conclusion to a successful season.

Chobham

We were promoted with 2 games to go. Mathematically guaranteed. But we were still in the hunt for the league title. Our arrival at a sunny Chobham was met with total indifference by an opposition who seemed to care more about the Daily Mirror than playing cricket. Not even a "Hello", or even an acknowledgement that it was wet - just total indifference. And I wouldn't have minded if it was indeed wet! It was bloody dry. I had to invade their precious clubhouse and invite them to take their covers off so that the wicket (covered for 2 days) could be viewed and allowed to dry (again... not that it was wet!). There were a few puddles that needed skewering (a 5 minute job that we as the opposing team did) and we should have been off. There were numerous other incidents that I need not go into here - suffice to say there is probably a reason that that club only has 16 registered adult players.

The game in effect became an absolute damp squib, with yours truly and Kam (under my instruction) opting to block out 15 overs out of principle to secure a draw, rather than gamble and go for a winning draw/win and risk a loss and give Chobham points they didn't deserve. The abuse received in the field (and to a certain extent in the dressing room) was perhaps understandable, but reasons for this approach will be explained shortly.

Battersea Ironsides

Battersea were an absolute pleasure to host. The weather was fine and the track looked a belter. As is tradition, Battersea have a few strong bats up top and then fade away. They also have a few decent bowlers and one who gives it more flight that Delboy. Battersea won the toss and batted. The track was lurvely and despite one eary breakthrough from Graham, the runs were coming freely. In Zamm's absense this necessitated a lengthly spell from Mr Relibale Kam Raza who bowled 15 overs of controlled off spin. The 3rd wicket fell with the score on 190 and Batterseas ended up on 210 off 51 overs. The fact it took so long is testament to the control of all bowlers on the day who kept their discipline. For the record, at the death if Kam had taken a catch at cow Alex would have had a hat trick. Heehee.

In response we were soon in trouble with Noman leaving the third ball of the day that hooped in and bowled him. Neither Alex nor Adam lasted much longer which left some rebuilding work for Raza and Davies. With an attacking brief, both moved things along, putting on about 120 for the 4th wicket. As both tired, the turning point may have actually been their lazy dismissals, bringing as it did some fresh legs to the crease. Iain Tong and JMJ set about the task of going at a run a ball for 12 overs with great gusto - some powerful heaves, intelligent running and classy drives kept the scores moving along beautifully. As the balconies filled and the sun began to set a great finish was in order. Iain fell, as did Matt Cronin, leaving Vish with JMJ. A few smites and he was gone, leaving about 18 off the last two, and 9 off the last, Wick 8 wickets down and all results still possible. 4 to win off the last ball, JMJ on strike - it's heaved to cow and JMJ is run out diving full stretch going for the 3rd. Wick get the winning draw and a fitting end to a great season.

Conclusions and lessons learnt

These last two games tell many stories. Firstly, the Wick had earned the right to play the game how we wanted it to be played. We'd secured promotion with 2 games to go and from a position of comfort we were able to dictate terms. Chobham? Screw them. We didn't lose and ended up being unbeaten for an entire season - they could only dream of winning cricket matches and the fact we were able to prevent them doing so when they had a real chance gives me great satisfaction and is in my view a 'win'. HWRCC were promoted and Chobham ened up relegated - you really do get what you deserve. Kam and I played like c*nts that final 12 overs, but we'd earnt the right to do so. That's cricket. And would it have been fair to the team that fought hard elsewhere to avoid relegation for us to play like idiots? No.

Secondly, in the Battersea game we were able to get within 2 runs of chasing 210 (off 43 overs remember), having been 20-3. Noman didn't get anything, nor Alex who was off the back of 40, 60 and 40 in his last three innings. Yet we still had the strength in character and depth of quality to get within a simdgen of winning, chasing over 200.

Thirdly, the Wick is a glorious place to be. Whilst Chobham is a great tour venue with the attractive spire and the lush english field feeling, it doesnt have the dramatic character of the Wick on a warm summer's evening with two full balconies. And JMJ running himself out off the last ball going for a third run made for a great season finale.

Fouthly Battersea continue to be a great club and we shall miss them next year. At least 8 of them hung around for drinks for a few hours. We shall investigate some pre-season friendlies next year.

Finally - the team went unbeaten for an entire league season. That is a remarkable achievement. To not let your guard down even once to lose, and when the guard was wavering someone propped up the side like a girder. Every team has stars but we've had at least 18, 20 including Keith and Alison, who are as much part of the scene as anyone.

We are now going places.....game on.

Tour Report - by Selvesy

"Edmonds finds a crack early on, but is reportedly retired drunk later"

Touring X: Davies. Cronin. O'Mahoney. Tong, G. Tong, I. Fahad. Edmonds. Selves. Charlton. Mo Bal.(Denly, Joe Saturday only).

Saturday 17th September Hampton Wick Touring X vs the Bars of Canterbury and Faversham.

Sunday 18th September Hampton Wick Touring X vs The Phoenix Tavern CC

Hampton Wick Touring X won by 71 runs.

HWRCC: 260 for 5 from 36
Ian Tong (Ting) 50* retired
Bonny 45
Cronin 41
Matty D 37*
Tongy 31
Fahad 12
Charlton 4* (reverse sweep)
Selves 1 (gloved at that!)

The Phoenix Tavern CC 189 all out from 33
Mohit 2-45
Charlton 2-32
Bonny 2-20
Tongy 2-26
Selvesy 1-3
Cronin direct hit run out (got spanked bowling)
Edmonds spanked.
Fahad too quick.

As a fantastic season for the WICK came to a close a few of the lads jumped in their cars and headed down to Kent for a last swing and chuck. With Saturday’s game falling through Matty D filled the void with a tour of the Shepherd Neame brewery in Faversham. Chedwood had spent the trip down drinking a slab of fizzy lager in the back of Matt Cronin's car and found the forty minute tour without booze, yet talking about nothing but booze, quite hard to deal with.

Fahad, however, was loving the history of how the English mix together lots of good healthy things and turn them into muddy water that induces more love from some men than most show to their wives. The tasting session and drinks after got the boys back in the flow and Fahad debated the relative merits of Coke and Pepsi while Chedwood ordered a lager at the bar in the oldest bitter brew house in the UK.

A quick sprucing up and the allocation of accommodation then off to Canterbury to look at the cathedral. In Canterbury there where a few firsts: Chedwood got served without ID and paid for a whole round by themselves (the boys are growing up so fast); Mo ordered so much Sambuca that they had to serve the fourth round of shots in ten minutes in sherry glasses; for five minutes the Wick had an international batsman on tour with them, Joe Denly, but he bottled it when Mo went back to the bar for the fifth round of bucas; Fahad went to a night club (the term night club is used as loosely as the term tour for a one match trip to Kent). Much hilarity took place in said establishment, including the wonders of Ian Tong (Read Ting) as a magnet for any lady in Kent and Chedwood announcing they love Canterbury while Selvesy and Matty D turn to each other and ask if they are getting too old for this shi....

Back in Faversham the decision to put Chedwood next to a bathroom paid off as they both brought up their kebabs in spectacular style (Ed needs a new sleeping bag). In the morning there was some percussive rugby watching and then we remembered why we were there.

Selvesy won toss and chose to bat. Deciding there was a chance for some runs Fahad (the only one sober at the time) and Selvesy opened up on a track that was as green as Chedwood after a night of Sambuca and vomming. Fahad blazed to 12 before missing one. Selvesy missed everything except the one that he gloved down the leg side for 1 before missing a straight one. Selvesy's father looked on wondering what his son actually did at those expensive boarding schools and where it all went wrong.

Cronin and Tongy G steadied the drunken ship, although with some interesting shots at times from Tongy, and a few dropped catches later had the WICK at 61 for 2 off 17. At this point it should be said that each incoming bat was told the shot they had to play off the first ball they faced and Tongy’s leg glance off one pitching outside off was a giggle. Then when Tongy got skittled (Fahad has the video footage from the umpire spot, link to you tube coming soon) Bonny went in needing a reverse sweep off the first ball. He survived, just.

Once the opening bowlers quotas were up Bonny and Cronin went on to punish the change bowlers. Cronin fell in the 40s and Ting strode out with his first shot to be a leave. The opposition had by now twigged what was going on and had realised that someone would be told to leave his first ball at some point. However with the openers done they lacked someone who could hit the stumps to order and Ting was safe fielding arms as the bowler ran up to the stumps. After his sighter Ting then gave it a good whack. The score went up like Mo's bar tab and the WICK were soon on 120 for 3 from 22 and Bonny was now having to bat while Selvesy, umpiring, was telling him with sign language what shot to play as the bowler ran in (stick cricket with real people). This time the reverse sweep was quality but Bonny eventually went for 45.

Out came Matty D as the bowler said, "the problem is every wicket we take the batting gets better". He then bowled a good ball and Matty D played a solid block. Matty D wasn't playing the “this is your first your shot” games like those pesky kids. Ting hit 50 and took a bow and out went Charlton, the one who puts the wood in Chedwood. First shot instructions: reverse sweep slog. Charlton will struggle to play a better shot ever again. It nearly went for six and the opposition was starting to dread what would happen when Mo and Charles got in. But the heavens opened and the WICK declared for an early tea on 260 for 5 from 36. Which is a shame, as Mo does like to Mohit. Although Charles was happy as he still looked as green as the wicket.

The rain did not last and the boys took to the wet pitch with a bar of soap that had swelled nicely over tea. Charlton and Mo (who likes to Mohit Mohit, sung to the tune of, I like to move it move it. Matty D comedy genius) opened up and both hit the sticks in their first over. Charlton picked up another with a one handed catch from Edmonds and Selves senior came to the crease.

All catching had to be one handed and the way Charles took a regulation sitter with one hand suggests a change of technique could be of benefit for the WICK'S most loveable chain smoker. Selvesy was not planning on bowling but when Charlton pulled up with a Sambuca related injury Selvesy, standing at mid off, was the closest to fill in. A couple of overs later, having trapped his old man lbw (so plumb the umpire, employed by Selves senior, had to give it) Selvesy took himself off for Edmonds with The Phoenix on 65 for 4 from 10 (45 of those from their gun bat).

Edmonds paid the price for his hangover and perhaps he should have tweaked the ball a bit more like the rather attractive lady's derrière outside of the kebab house that morning. Indeed the dexterity with which Charles held and ate a kebab in one hand whilst working his magic with the other shows great promise with the ball with a bit more practice. That said so could the derriere tweaking, after a few goes the young lady made it clear that enough was enough. Meanwhile Mo plugged away at the other end (we are back on the cricket now) and picked up another clean bowled.

The Phoenix were 75 for 5 and along with the opening bat who was close to 50 their number seven was settling in and as it would have been a shame to take Fahad all that way without a bowl he had a go with a ball that now look like a soap on a rope after a tough day in the wormwood scrub showers. Three slips, gully, fly slip and point, Mo drying the ball at midd off and Bonny, having given the gloves to Cronin, pacing the leg side warming up his bowling arm. Fahad bowled so well with the soap but was perhaps a bit too good (and quick) to find the edge. Charlton had another go at the other end and the Phoenix dug, edged and pulled their way to 128 for 5 from 26. With the Phoenixes gun bat in the 80s it needed something special and Bonny replaced Charlton. First ball gun bat caught and bowled. Half tracker would be unfair but their bat did well to hit it before it bounced again. But Bonny got a taste for it and finding a line just outside off picked up another with a great catch, one handed of course, at deep cover by Charlton.

Tongy replaced Fahad and gave us all a glimpse of the off spin he plans to bowl in his late thirties and Mo took a great, you guessed it, one handed catch at midd off. By now Cronin had had a go keeping and gave the gloves to Mo so Cronin could have a bowl. However before he could get on he picked up a drive at midd off and with a direct hit ran out the non striker. Cronin then came on for Bonny and perhaps wished he didn't. Luckily for him though Tongy wrapped things up at the other end next over but not before Mo had let one bye through, and with each bye resulting in a round of Sambuca Mo was also a happy man when the stumps got hit. The Phoenix all out for 189 from 33.

Other than perhaps the 2 run win in the 3s top of the table clash this year it was one of the best WICK games this writer has played in, genuine fun on all sides. Plans are in place for a three or four day tour to Kent again next season with games of varying standard but certainly taking on the Phoenix again. WICK.

Barbados Tour 2013

With the proposed tour 18 months away, we are now looking to confirm with people who wish to come along.

At the moment we have 10 people signed up to the direct debit scheme. At this stage, we are wanting people who are looking to come on tour but not signed up to the direct debit scheme to commit £250 by October 31st so we can start looking towards booking flights in April 2012. We will need to book flights around this time to secure the best prices/deals in terms of luggage and flights. We are looking to get 20 people signed up.

Please can you reply to hwrcctour2013@hotmail.co.uk by September 20th to let us know:

a) yes I want to come on tour and will pay £250 by October 31st

b) No I dont want to come on tour

c) I am unsure at the moment. Details of the bank details will be sent over.

thanks

TEAMS - SAT 3RD SEPT

SAT 3RD SEPT

1ST XI V BATTERSEA (H)

1 Ali 2 Day 3 O'Mahoney (+) 4 Raza 5 Davies © 6 Tong, I 7 Maddoc-Jones James 8 Cronin 9 Tong, G 10 Abeyrante, Vishva 11 Shinde

U: K. Nicholls S: A. Whitcher

M: 12:30 S: 13:30

2ND XI V GODALMING (A)

1 Rashid 2 Jackson © 3 Mackie (+) 4 High 5 Crowther 6 Soppitt 7 Tanveer, Fahad 8 McMullan 9 Charlton 10 Donnelly 11 Goodwin

U: S. Riley S: N/A

M: 10:30 S: 12:00

3RD XI V Old Rutlishians (H)

1 N. Singh © 2 Goulborn 3 Clements (+) 4 Byrne, Dan 5 Edmonds 6 Kamboh, Nav 7 Miles 8 Vijayakumar, Pradeep 9 Linter 10 Sadiq, Zeeshan 11 Ilyas, Aqeel

U: N/A S: N/A

M: 11:30 S: 12:00

Good Luck To everyone involved.

WICK

TEAMS - SAT 27TH AUG

1ST XI V Chobham (A)

1 Ali 2 Rashid 3 O'Mahoney (+) 4 Raza 5 Davies © 6 High 7 Cronin 8 Tughral, Zo 9 Tughral, Zam 10 Tanveer, Fahad 11 Shinde

U: N/A S: A. Whitcher

M: 11:30 S: 13:00

2ND XI V Carshalton (H)

1 Jackson 2 Fudge © 3 Murray 4 McMullan 5 Oliver, Robbie 6 Soppitt 7 Copeland H (+) 8 Taylor, Will 9 Donnelly 10 Goodwin 11 Lown

U: S. Riley S: N/A

M: 11:15 S: 12:00

3RD XI V Guildford City (H)

1 Ratnage 2 Hirsch 3 Byrne, Dan 4 Clements (+) 5 TBC 6 Kamboh, Nav 7 Selves © 8 Nicholls 9 Ilyas, Aqeel 10 Linter 11 Smith

U: K. Bryan S: N/A

M: 12:00 S: 12:30

Good Luck to everyone involved!!

WICK

Match Report - 1s win promotion at Caterham - by Matty D

HWRCC 1XI beat Caterham 1XI by 7 runs.

A season review will follow (at the end of the season), but this game proved to be decisive. Our target of 12 wins was achieved and promotion was secured, but only after confirmation of Guildford Citys draw at Shepperton. It would have been nice to secure promotion with a wicket, or a boundary, or something more dramatic than a text from the Chairman on your way to a Fish and Chip shop at 9pm in Kent. On the plus side the fish I procured was half-price at £2 on account of it being split. Saved me two bob and I was going to eat the thing even if it wasn’t split. And it was delish.

Anyway, back to the creekeet...

Caterham – lovely town. Has a Waitrose at the bottom of the hill. Always a good sign.

The ground is high up and part-funded by the famous Caterham School – Think Hogwarts without the wizard bit. Therefore they have some good facilities and the track was a belter. The best track we have played on all year – true carry and some pace if you bent your back, but also some grip if you hit the seam. Obviously I lost the toss and we were inserted. There was some rain in the air and whilst it wasn’t cold, it was slightly dank. The gazebo under which we were sat did receive a warm pattering for maybe an hour. This didn’t stop Nomaan and Alex though who attacked from the off – hitting cleanly through the line – Nomaan mostly off-side, Alex mostly on-side – but both with orthodox cricket play. They put on a round 100 in maybe 15 overs – continuing their great form of the previous few weeks.

However, 1 can bring 2. And in some cases a lot more. The ball started to grip, catches were being held, a few poor shots played and an ump with an itchy finger all left us ‘reeling’ at 167-7/ Raza made a few but others found ways to get out (as did Raza to be fair) and thoughts of 250 were some way off. MattyD and in-form Tong steadied somewhat – Davies fortunate at best but nevertheless effective for a while. His dismissal brought in Abeyratne, whose explosive hitting accelerated the score to 242 in no time with a declaration now possible off 45 overs, leaving us 50 to get them out on a flat deck and an outfield like the Oval.

Teas were pretty good – not much variety but I’ve said it before – if the bread is soft I won’t complain. And you didn’t need to ask for the cold drinks. 6 out of 10.

The sun had come out for our response. So much so in fact I decided to zinc up and I looked like the monkey out of Lion King. It seemed to do the job as I plucked an absolute beaut at gully to give the innings an early lift. Nevertheless Caterham approached their chase in the right frame – attack. Their run rate was consistently high at around 5 an over – which is probably a first for us this season. Attacking fields soon paid off, as well as runs on the board which forced agitation with some batsman. A few tight overs invariably led to a wicket in some form. Tongy – the pick of the seamers – took a great catch at point and Nomaan was successful with two run outs – one with the help of an energetic Zammy at mid wicket. With the exception of Vish – who didn’t threaten on a track that didn’t suit him – everyone looked like taking wickets. Day bowled with real verve on a batsman’s track and attacking fields. He didn’t get the rewards this week. Ali – on his return to bowling action, somehow got 4 wickets despite a glut on no-balls (don’t look at me Noman – they’re your feet). With wickets tumbling, the key one was a Kammy catch at long-on – plucking skier to remove the Caterham skip who had threatened to challenge for the full 20 points. Runs wern’t the problem, it was the losing of wickets that was going to do for them. Zammy cleaned up the final one and 20 points was ours.

MOM – Paper suggests it should be Nomaan, but he didn’t do much more than anyone else really. He was probably the worst of the bowlers aside from Vish, but still took 4 wickets. He top scored – but he Alex and Vish all played vital contributions with the willow. And Tongy put in a fine all round stint – unbeaten with bat, best bowler on day, a great catch and some outstanding standards in the field.

Special mention to young Robbie Oliver. He didn’t trouble the scorers this time around, but last time I got a duck (Frimley 1st league game) I followed it up with 135 the week after. Debut out the way – tick that box...plenty more opportunities to come.

In the field this had been a good effort – I think we forget how good we actually are at times. Caterham was a batting paradise, especially with the sun out. Some of our bowling was full of skill and poise and the catching this week was top drawer when it needed to be. Caterham’s fielding in contrast was lacklustre (no disrespect intended). 15 games and 12 wins is a great return and if we win the final two we have a real chance of going up as Champions – but we are now officially a Surrey Championship team – I will dine out on that for a while.

Go Wick.

TEAMS - SAT 20TH AUGUST

1ST XI V Caterham (A)

1 Ali 2 Day 3 Raza 4 O'Mahoney (+) 5 Davies © 6 High 7 Cronin 8 Oliver, Robbie 9 Tong, G 10 Abeyrante, Vishva 11 Tughral, Zam

U: S. Riley S: A. Whitcher

M: 11:00 S: 13:00

2ND XI V SKR (H)

1 Rashid 2 Fudge © 3 Murray 4 Crowther 5 Jackson 6 Soppitt 7 Copeland H (+) 8 Tanveer, Fahad 9 McMullan 10 Shinde 11 Lown

U: N/A S: N/A

M: 12:00 S: 13:00

3RD XI V Streatham & M'Boro (H)

1 Lloyd 2 Hirsch 3 Collier 4 Clements (+) 5 Byrne, Dan 6 Ratnage 7 Kamboh, Nav 8 Selves © 9 Charlton 10 Ilyas, Aqeel 11 Linter

U: K. Bryan S: N. Singh

M: 12:00 S: 13:00

Good Luck to everyone involved...

WICK

Teams - Saturday 6 August 2011

1ST XI V Weybridge Vandals (A)

1 Ali, 2 Davies ©, 3 Raza, 4 O'Mahoney (+), 5 Day, 6 High, 7 Cronin, 8 Tong, G, 9 Abeyrante, Vishva, 10 Tughral, Zam, 11 Shinde

U: K. Nicholls
S: A. Whitcher

M: 11:30 S: 13:30

2ND XI V Dorking (H)

1 Rashid, 2 Tughral, Zo, 3 Collier, 4 Clements, 5 Jackson, 6 Crowther, 7 Soppitt, 8 Copeland H (+), 9 Tanveer, Fahad, 10 Webster ©, 11 Lown

U: S. Riley

M: 12:00
S: 13:00

3RD XI V Kempton (A)

1 Singh ©, 2 Hirsch, 3 Mackie, 4 Rudolph, Matt (+), 5 Byrne, Dan, 6 Ratnage, 7 Kamboh, Nav, 8 Selves, 9 Charlton, E, 10 Ilyas, Aqeel, 11 Linter

M: 11:30
S: 13:00

CLUB DAY - 2011 SIXES SHIELD

And there's more...

CLUB DAY - THE 2011 SIXES SHIELD

Here are just a few reasons why you should support YOUR Club this Sunday!! Don't miss out on the best club social of the year!!

TEAMS - SAT 30TH JULY

SAT 30TH JULY

1ST XI V Byfleet (H)

1 Ali 2 Davies © 3 Tong, I 4 Raza 5 O'Mahoney (+) 6 Maddoc-Jones James 7 Cronin 8 Tong, G 9 Abeyrante, Vishva 10 Tughral, Zam 11 Shinde

U: B. Sissen S: A. Whitcher

M: 12:30 S: 13:30

2ND XI V Old Paulines (A)

1 Cole 2 Tughral, Zo 3 Crowther 4 Clements 5 Jackson 6 Soppitt 7 Copeland H (+) 8 Charlton, E 9 Tanveer, Fahad 10 Webster © 11 Lown

U: S. Riley S: N/A

M: 11:30 S: 13:00

3RD XI V Thames Ditton (H)

1 Singh © 2 Hirsch 3 Lloyd 4 Haddock 5 Edmonds 6 Rudolph, Matt + 7 Breakwell 8 Unsworth 9 Selves 10 Ilyas, Aqeel 11 Linter

U: N/A S: N/A

M: 12:00 S: 13:00

Good luck to everyone involved...

WICK

England vs India - The Recriminations

"India's fielding - about as mobile as an order of aloo gobi"

Indian supporters on Cricinfo are hurting today. A comprehensive roasting at Lords on a pretty blameless surface has rather dented the hype. No Sachin ton, India fielded like an order of aloo gobi and the stony faces on the oppo balcony spoke volumes of professional misery.

MSD in his post match interview with Athers claimed that India suffered some cruel misfortune. And he's probably right. But no-one wants The Little Master suffering from Camden Colon or Zaheer's hamstring to detract from a brilliant England win.

Pietersen, Trott, Prior and Broad all batted out of their skins at high pressure moments. The bowlers took 20 wickets on what was a good track without the help of DRS. We survived a terrible insertion on the first day when the ball was hooping round corners.

Interestingly you have to ask if Duncan Fletcher is relishing this challenge. He looked fairly inscrutable up there on the Indian balcony. But he looks like he's got a tough job to do to get India into the right frame of mind.

Zaheer looked anything but fit. In fact he looked like he'd had too many coories. Samit Patel must be kicking himself he's English because if Zaheer can get a game looking like a 42 year old Elvis while Jimmy Anderson has to slim down to Amy Winehouse size, he'd have played 100 Tests by now. (Oh - okay - he's not that good). And the rest of them didn't look in peak physical condition either. Contrast the look of the England lot - the bowlers all fresh no doubt from some shoot or other with a magazine with pink in its badge, the batsmen all looking like they've spent as much time as Tremmers on the rowing machine - and you begin to wonder whether India have some fundamental issues with team ethic and desire.

A couple of commentators have pointed to the lack of warms ups, the desultory netting, the wearing of sweaters while bowling and the general brainlessness of some of their match play at key moments (funny how Pietersen and Prior could score at will in a Test Match situation but Prior can't get it off the square in a 50 over game) and you wonder whether Dunc can turn it round or whether he's just a really clever babysitter that needs to wait for some of the egos to leave the team before he can create change.

"Whatever" Wickman says. Unless everyone is completely gone in the head (Dravid didn't look that way, and Suresh Raina looked class [if a little chubby of cheek]) there's no way that India will continue to obligingly fall over when batting and Wickman was never sure why Munaf Patel or that strange chipmunk like fellow Sreesanth weren't picked so he's expecting some sort of resurgence on Friday...

TEAMS - SAT 23RD JULY

SAT 23RD JULY

1ST XI V Wallington (A)

1 Ali 2 Davies © 3 Day 4 Raza 5 O'Mahoney (+) 6 High 7 Maddoc-Jones James 8 Crowther 9 Tong, G 10 Abeyrante, Vishva 11 Tughral, Zam

U: K. Nicholls S: A. Whitcher

M: 11:30 S: 13:30

2ND XI V Woodmansterne (H)

1 Cole 2 Rashid 3 Fudge © 4 Tughral, Zo 5 Byrne, Dan 6 Soppitt 7 Copeland H (+) 8 Tanveer, Fahad 9 Shinde 10 Goodwin 11 Lown

U: S. Riley S: G. Unsworth

M: 12:00 S: 13:00

3RD XI V Ashford (A)

1 Risman 2 Jackson 3 Singh © 4 Lloyd 5 Ratnage S 6 Clements Tom (+) 7 Oliver, Robbie 8 Charlton, E 9 Ilyas, Aqeel 10 Donnelly 11 Linter

U: K. Bryan S: N/A

M: 11:30 S: 13:00

Good luck to everyone involved...

WICK

2011 HWRCC CLUB DAY...

It's Coming... The Club Event of the Year is nearly here!!

2011 HWRCC CLUB DAY - THE SIXES SHIELD

This years Fancy Dress Theme; Pop Stars/Bands.

Club Day Includes;

Fancy Dress 6 aside competition - BBQ Lunch - Live DJ - Hot Tub* - Pimms Bar - Corona Bar - Slow Race - Man of the Tournament - Prat of the Tournament - & Much, Much More...

Don't miss out on the best social of the year!!

HWRCC 2011 CLUB DAY - TEAMS

SIMPLY RED

P. Hibberd © D. Fudge K. Raza M. Mackie J. Breakwell G. Unsworth D. Lown

KISS

G. Tong © A. Day F. Murray H. Copeland F. Tanveer P. Miles M. Bal

TBC

T. Crowther © M. Davies I. Tong V. Abeyrante P. Linter C. Powell S. Riley

TBC

J. Lloyd © N. Ali M. Cronin S. Ratnage R. Oliver E. Charlton A. Ilyas

TBC

C. High © I. Rashid Zo Tughral C. Edmonds D. Soppitt S. Shinde D. Bendall

TBC

A. Crane © A. O'Mahoney T. Clements J. Hirsch Zam Tughral N. Weerakoon C. Appleyard

WICK

* Please note that the Hot Tub may not be hot. It may not even be a tub.

Daddy Hundreds

Wickman was watching a fantastic interview with Alastair Cook on Sky this evening - Charles Colville asking the questions - before suddenly being sent into a terrible rage by THE most irritating piece of cricket speak ever devised.

Now Wickman knows that cricket is no longer played by Gentlemen and Amateurs. He has been guilty down the years of some use of fruity urban language on the pitch, the balcony and in the bar. He realises that the correct response to a 19 wicket test match haul is no longer to hitch up your cream flannels and shake hands with your skipper. He knows that the England captain is no longer likely to have been to Eton or Harrow (although the current Test Captain did go to Radley which Wickman believes to be acceptable and the one day captain went to Bedford Modern [which sounds ghastly but dates back to the 16th century]) and probably won't have a Blue.

The fact that modern cricketers call a Bosie a Googly and that for some reason commentators now call the new ball in a Test Match the 2nd new ball when in the old days we all knew that the new ball was the one you got after 80 overs because you couldn't start a Test Match with anything other than a new ball occasionally causes Wickman to thrash around in his sleep. But he is seldom moved to abused the television.

However the "Daddy" hundred takes the biscuit, drops it on the kitchen floor in a pool of dog spittle, picks it up and eats it. Wickman was brought up on Graham Gooch. For much of Wickman's early cricketing education the moustachioed one was at one end with Boycs, Brearly, Broady or someone else at the other. He scored big runs. He smashed it. He muscled it. He had a big eff-off moustache that was the rival of any Australian soup strainer.

Goochy's had, as the modern parlance would have it, a shocker with the... Wickman can't write it again... oh... Daddy hundred. What in God's name does it mean? Why is a big hundred a Daddy? What hideousness in Essex can have caused Gooch to come up with this execrable piece of badinage and to feed it to his disciple Cook? Did Obi Wan Kenobi (say it quickly and the word wank is heard) come up with something similar? No - he talked of the force and managed to misdirect the weak minded to look for other droids. He did NOT talk of Daddy lightsabres and the like.

Wickman is lead to believe that the phrase originates from the common vernacular of saying "Who's Your Daddy?". Wickman has heard it said that this is not an enquiry to be asked of young Scrotes as one apprehends them scrumping in your orchard (obviously the correct usage would be "father" here), but is used by young men to display authority as they copulate with loose moralled young women. Although even in Essex it escapes Wickman as to why you would want to remind a young lady of her father in such delicate circumstances.

Wickman now imagines a chubby Goochie smashing Kapil Dev and the others around Lords in 1993 thinking "I really need something to say to them which will subdue them and remind them of their submissive situation" and being at a loss for words. Later, post retirement, he stumbles across the phraseology and passes it on to Cook and the other England players. Now they imagine themselves astride the Aussies, the Sri Lankans and others shouting "Who's your Daddy?" at the top of their voices, giving it the old Brokeback Mountain treatment to some poor bowler.

It's just wrong. It's even more wrong coming from the mouth of Cook, Strauss and Swann in interviews. You can tell they are trying to establish it as vernacular, as argot as part of the game. And it stinks. It stinks like fish left out in the midday sun infested with maggots. It sounds pathetic, juvenile... like a playground thing. If Sachin Tendulkar scores a double this Summer will he describe it as a "Daddyji"? Would Brian Lara ever call his 401 a Daddy score? Steve Waugh? Mark Taylor? Boony? Len Hutton? Bradman? Hayden? Anyone but a modern English cricketer?

It's an abomination. Do NOT use it.

1s Triumph to Open Up 44 Point Gap to 3rd Place - Match Report by Matty D

1xi vs Guildford City
Guildford City 156 (32 Overs)
HWRCC 1xi 158-4 (22.5 Overs)

Scorecard

''Guildford Cricket'' was invented in 2006 in homage to the Wick's performance against Guildford City on the last game of that season. We needed to either get 4 points or stop GC winning to secure promotion for ourselves. Having got 184 (and therefore maximum batting points) they declared, leaving us a difficult chase. We were soon in the shyte at 28-6. Were we going to cock it up right at the last, having been unbeaten and top the league all year? No, thereafter ensued the most almighty block-session. The likes of Ewen and Tughral (one of only three surviving players in this fixture) fought their way to 76-8 off 45, meaning we didn't lose (and GC didn't win) - and we were promoted.

Last year our game against GC was abandoned due to the pitch being deemed unfit for play. Yours truly was playing in that game, and was going quite well, until one reared from a length and hit me in the face.

You could say this fixture has history.

2011 was no different. On the balcony Coley called it "the greatest win he'd ever seen down the Wick". Thats some statement.

The day started for me on the Number 4 bus heading from Highbury to Waterloo. Text from Fudgey suggesting I "get down the Wick and get the covers off".

'Since when do we have covers?'. Since Nomi spent 3 hours on Friday folding up the old ones (with holes in), in an apparently vain attempt to protect the pitch. A week of warm weather was to be replaced with heavy rain overnight on the Friday. This isn't surprising because statistically it does actually rain more at the weekend than during the week. Stephen Fry said so on QI once [Must be true - Ed].

Fudgey was convinced it was game on. Arrival at 1130 suggested otherwise. It was Duck weather. The cover however was still in place and if Nomi had applied it correctly, there was a fair chance that the track would be moist but more than playable. The outfield, as always, was fine. The square however was getting puddlier by the minute and it was almost getting stupid.

Firstly credit to Guildford City - they were keen to play. And despite Keith's best efforts at Square protection, he was convinced otherwise and it was game on at 1610 - the latest time we could start. We assumed (wrongly as it turned out) that most games would be off, and so the need to get a game in (and potentially win) could make or break the season, especially following a below par run-out fest last week which ended in a thoroughly depressing draw.

Secondly, credit to most of the boys who worked their t*ts off for over 2 hours trying to soak up and move the surface water away from the track. Groundsmanship is boring and tiring, but it can be very rewarding.

You must be getting bored now...

I won the toss and decided to bowl - unsurprisingly. The track was fine, the outfield a bit dank in places, and the skies looking evil. But it was dry for the moment. Daisy and Tongy started things off, the latter showing more control, and being rewarded with two important early wickets against some bats with good eyes. Nomaan had a go, as did Tongy jnr. Both showing control on a good surface. Wickets fell regularly, and the run rate slowed, but GC would have a total to defend. We nailed a few last on the keep the score to 156, which we would have 23 overs to get them in. No chance, or so I thought.

We decided to go for it. If we got rolled, we would still get 4 points (the same as if the match had been abandoned). After taking one look at the leggie from the Millennium Wood end I decided if I was to score it would be off the seamers. Or I would get bowled... I got bowled. This brought Tongy Jnr in with Ali - both of whom played good attacking but sensible cricket. It's hard to be bowled out off 23 overs, so whilst the run rate was building, wickets in hand meant that a late biff could mean 20 points.

They put on nearly a ton, Tong being replaced with Raza, who came in a hit a quickfire 10. Ali got a wonderful 74. Needing 9 an over for the last 10, and consistently getting it right to the last, I could barely watch. Then it became 30 off 24. 25 off 17. 18 off 12. 9 off the last....

5 off 3. They take out fine leg and Daisy plays a paddle and top edges it. Boney gallops like a hare and it's 3. 2 off 2. Boney misses and it flicks off the pads between slip and the keeper. The appeal goes up but the finger stays down. WICK WIN WICK WIN WICK WIN! The boys go radio rental.

The 4 teams below us in the league either lost or had their games abandoned. I couldn't have written the script any better. Keef loved it too... hee hee

TEAMS - SAT 16TH JULY

SAT 16TH JULY

1ST XI V Guildford City (H)

1 Ali 2 Davies © 3 Day 4 Raza 5 O'Mahoney (+) 6 Tong, I 7 Maddoc-Jones James 8 Cronin 9 Tong, G 10 Abeyrante, Vishva 11 Tughral, Zam

U: K. Nicholls S: A. Whitcher

M: 12:00 S: 13:30

2ND XI V Cranleigh (A)

1 Cole 2 Rashid 3 Fudge © 4 Mackie (+) 5 Crowther 6 High 7 Byrne, Dan 8 Soppitt 9 Tanveer, Fahad 10 Shinde 11 Webster

U: S. Riley S: N/A

M: 11:00 S: 13:00

3RD XI V Pyrford (H)

1 Risman 2 Goulborn 3 Singh © 4 Jackson 5 Tughral, Zo 6 Lloyd 7 Ratnage S 8 Clements Tom (+) 9 Ilyas, Aqeel 10 Donnelly 11 Linter

U: K. Bryan S: N/A

M: 12:00 S: 13:00

4TH XI V Riverside CC (A)

1. Hirsch 2. Edmonds 3. Rudolph, Matt + 4. Oliver, Robbie 5. Miles 6. Charlton, Ed 7. Chaudhry, Sohail 8. Bendall © 9. Bal, Mohit 10. McNab 11. Sadiq, Zeesham

MEET 13:00

START 14:00

WICK

Team News - 4xi vs Turnham Green Poly

4XI for Saturday 9th at Home to Chiswick. Meet 13:00.

1. Hirsch, 2. Edmond, 3. Rudolph+, 4. Miles, 5. Tanzeel, 6. Selves*, 7. Benndall, 8. Sohil, 9. Mohit, Bal, 10. Swain, 11. McNab

Historic Moment - 1st 4xi Match Report on the blog - By Selvesy

Much time could be spent looking for a quote or coming up with something profound to say about the Hampton Wick Royal Cricket Club 4XI taking to the kingsfield on Saturday 2nd July 2011. However, breaking from the strange feeling of writing a match report including yourself in the third person, a day like Saturday is not a day for soundbites, we can leave those to the home balcony, but I feel the hand of history upon our shoulder with respect to this.... (not the writer's poor grammar. Points for anyone under 25 who knows that quote.). Anyway, the 4s fielding 5 under 19s from the WICKS thriving colts set up and former colt Charles Edmonds took to the field against Teddington Town 3XI. There hadn't been a toss as such, but a lot like back in Stormont the decisions were made before the ceremony when Selvesy informed the opposition skipper that the batting was light today.

Sohail took the new ball and plugged away up the hill finding some good lines but with no luck. Alisdair McNab came down the hill and after a first over finding his lines bowled a tight spell with a very tidy clean bowled to take the first wicket for the 4s in their brave new world. Zeesham came on for McNab and also took an over to find his straps but then, like McNab, found his lines and picked up a nice clean bowled. Teddington 46 for 2 from 12 after hard running up the hill by Sohail and two great little spells from two of the WICKS promising youngsters. Selves, feeling all this young talent may have him needing to start a 5th XI next year to get a game, plodded up the hill and Rob Swain making his Saturday debut for the WICK came down. A neat catch from Will Taylor off Selves followed by a cheeky lbw had Teddington 4 down before Swain got in on the act forcing a chip to mid off.

Mohit came on up the hill and bowling some good lines picked up a couple of clean bowled. Charlie Pilcher came down the hill for Swain and after struggling to find his lines produced a peach of a ball and took an even better catch to pick up his first senior wicket. With the ball turning Will Taylor came on for Mohit and bowled a great little spell at the death halting what was becoming a quick scoring number 3 who had carried Teddington through their innings. Phil Miles then brought on his experience to wrap up the last few overs down the hill.

Teddington ended on 182 for 8. Held together by a great knock of 70 by their number 3 and with extras being their second highest scorer there is work to do in the wides, no ball and byes area. However the ground fielding would have put other sides in the club to shame and not one dropped catch for the bowlers to moan about. Tea. We may be the 4th XI but we eat like the 1st XI.

After tea Phil Miles stepped up for the boys and opened up with James Dann and both looked good seeing off the new ball before Phil had one sit up on a pitch that was starting to behave like a new born baby (topical reference for the writer. For the bulk of the players at the club that means erratic and not doing anything you expect or want). Charles Edmonds started well playing what is fast becoming his trademark clips off his pads until he missed a straight one. Selves joined Dann and together they saw off the rest of the opening bowlers until having done the hard work and looking set Dann edged the last ball of the openers spell to the keeper. Alisdair McNab came out and leaned the hard way about playing on the back foot on the kingsfield. At not many for 3 Sohail helped steady the ship till drinks when the decision was made to up the rate. Two overs at 8 plus an over had the 4s back on the run rate until Selves missed one. Rob Swain continued the fight but when he and Sohail fell Charlie Pil and Will Taylor could not stop Teddington with the bit between their teeth. Zeesham hung in there but ran out of people to hang about with. The loss was not as bad as it looks on paper and with such talented youngsters coming through the 4s have a prosperous future ahead. The commitment, skill and attitude of the colts, who for many were making their senior bow, was a credit to each individual and the system in the club that has brought on such a great bunch of young players who all look to have promising futures at the WICK. With several seniors back this week the side has a better looking balance between bat and ball. Although it is good for all players to know that there are keen talented colts pushing them for their places and making the step up to senior cricket.

Match Report - Shepperton vs 1xi - by Rowan Atkinson

Shepperton 213-9 (52 Overs)
Wick 214-3 (30+ overs) Stallone 80, Atkinson 53
Wick 1s wick Shepperton 1s by 7 wkts.

Scorecard... you'll need it... Without googling, which two of these films was not filmed at the famous Shepperton Film Studios?

a. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
b. Ghandhi
c. The Guns of Navaronne
d. Shakespeare in Love

If Saturday was a film, this is how it would go:

Shepperton have gone well thus far, but we have good memories from last year, and are in great form, so were confident. Rowan Atkinson won the toss for the first time this season and was delighted to invite Shepperton to bat on an extremely flat track. Sylvester Stallone felt it might turn a bit but Atkinson wasn’t so sure. Either way we knew 10 wickets would be a tough ask, even with our bowling attack.

Jonny Depp, his brother The Fonz on debut and Vin Diesel turned up at 1320. Apparently they had left at 11am and the traffic was ‘bad’. Yeah no sh*t, Atkinson wasn’t happy, and The Kung Fu Panda was fuming, but these things happen. The start was all a bit of a rush, but Stallone and Diesel made an excellent start with the new ball – both finding admirable control on a pitch that wasn’t offering anything. The new ball was used well, and both were soon finding the edges, with Atkinson and Depp failing to hold onto chances. On the plus side, Stallone did hold one at 2nd slip for Diesel, who also sneaked one through the defences. Stallone himself then brilliantly cleaned up the aggressive #3 and at 50-3 we were going well. Depp replaced Diesel although by now nothing much was happening and batting was getting easier.

The Fonz had a go and was joined at the other end by Tom Cruise who set the field back to see if he could induce a false stroke. He did, caught on the boundary, much to the surprise of the catcher – Matt Damon. The ball before he had fumbled around like a teenage Keith (Justin Timberlake) having seen his first boobie, and it had gone between his legs much to his embarrassment. The Fonz also got one to nibble to Macourlay Culkin behind the sticks. His girlfriend (Sandra Bullock) was most impressed when he turned up with his mum (Jennifer Coolidge) to cheer the boys on.

5 down and more changes were needed – the track was still easy-peasy to bat on. In fact it seemed to be getting easier. Panda had a go, as did James Brown, whose reverse swing seemed to tie down the late order well. Hard work in the field for the boys, with the ever vocal and enthusiastic Taylor Lautner keeping the boys going. A few lusty blows from Shepperton at the end saw them to a below par but admirable 213-9 from the full allocation of 52. Wickets were shared around so no-one really stood out with the ball. Perhaps Diesel was the pick.

Teas – well... controversially I'm going to give them a 9. Not only was there variety and volume, you had napkins and the option of cordial drink as well as Tea – something often forgotten by many-a-tea creator. A great mix of staples and home made fare. Also, I do enjoy a good old fashioned tea lady (as opposed to Brian Blessed that we have) and for that they score very highly. Unfortunately Atkinson wasn’t able to eat much due to nerves.

Said nerves were however soon lost upon the start of the Wick innings. Stallone, surviving a chance 2nd ball, soon got into things. The tactic of the old ball wasn’t working. Especially as said ball was soon lost over cow and a new (but not new) ball was needed. Atkinson wasn’t far behind and when the new ball did come both were seeing it like a Pair of DDs and were in no mood to see off the shine. The partnership was over 130 off less than 20 overs before Stallone clipped one to midwicket for 80. Diesel joined in – the atmosphere being one of Sunday resignation. Robert De Nero behind the sticks got involved and nailed Diesel and Atkinson soon followed having brought up his 50. It was then left to the classy Panda and Culkin to see us home off 32 overs without any fuss. Bullock seemed very impressed. Special thanks again to Eliza Cuthbert whose pretty patterns in the scorebook continue to make a mockery of Chedwards attempts on Sundays.

And thats a wrap.

Oh – the answer is d.

T20 Side vs Kempton

1. Mackie, 2. Jackson, 3. High, 4. Clements, 5. Crane, 6. Murray (TBC), 7. Edmunds, 8. McMullen (TBC), 9. Bendall, 10. Charlton, 11. Pradeep.

5.30 meet at Kempton for a 5.45 start.

Huge Weekend for the Club... Preview

,

"A jaundiced club secretary looks forward to the weekend's fixtures" - Ed

,

So already we've reached the mid season point... or thereabouts... and this weekend represents a potential watershed for two teams.

Many clubs will find themselves ever so slightly stronger as the season enters its second half with returning University players up for selection and talented colts free of school commitments. With luck, holidays won't play a part. So this weekend could very well see a change in fortunes for many clubs and it's important to capitalise now.

The 1s are at home to Sanderstead. This match sees the two unbeaten teams in Fullers Division One 1st xi clash and though there are many challenges ahead, the bragging rights for the season are on offer right here, right now. The teams are currently separated by the difference between the points gained for a tie (Sanderstead) and an abandonement (The Wick).

With both teams more than two wins clear of the chasing pack, another win here would leave one club unbeaten and needing to score only 120 points from a possible 160 to secure promotion.

The 2s travel to group leaders Carshalton and after results didn't go quite their way last week, need a positive result to make sure that they stay in touch with what is a very tight promotion battle. With strong availability this week and some weather around, this could be a crucial weekend.

The 3xi are sitting pretty at the top of their table. With a sizeable gap opening up between them and the fourth placed team, they travel to bottom half club Farnham. A win would give them breathing space and allow them to approach a Uni and Colts rich second half of the season with some confidence.

Wickman is drooling Homer Simpson like at the prospect...

Teams - Saturday 2 July

Shepperton vs 1xi

1 Ali, 2 Davies ©, 3 Day, 4 Raza, 5 O'Mahoney (+), 6 Mackie, 7 Tong, I, 8 Tughral, Zo, 9 Tong, G, 10 Abeyrante, Vishva, 11 Tughral, Zam

U: A. Moore
S: A. Whitcher

M: 12:00, S: 13:30

2xi vs Old Hamptonians

1 Cole , 2 Rashid , 3 Fudge ©, 4 Jackson, 5 Clements, 6 Soppitt, 7 Weerakoon, Naveendra, 8 Copeland H (+), 9 Fahad, 10 Shinde, 11 Lown

U: S. Riley
S: G. Unsworth

M: 12:00
S: 13:00

Oxted & Limpsfield vs 3xi

1 Risman, 2 Goulborn, 3 Singh ©, 4 Byrne, 5 Ratnage S, 6 Lloyd, 7 Hirsch +, 8 Charlton E, 9 Donnelly, 10 Smith, G, 11 Linter

U: K. Bryan
S: N/A

M: 11:00
S: 13:00

4xi vs Teddington Town

Miles, Edmonds, McNab, Dann+, Selves*, Chaudhry, Chapman, Zeeshan, Mohit, Swaine, Taylor

M: 13:00
S: 13:30

Match Report - Dorking vs 2xi by Fudgey

More positives than points…

HWRCC WINNING DRAW (4 POINTS)

Dorking 233/7 (55.0) Tanveer – 5/61
HWRCC 206/3 (45.0) Fudge 78, Rashid 67 (Winning draw target 191)

2 weeks without cricket is a looooooong time and unfortunately that is exactly what the 2nd XI faced after the disappointment of an abandoned game at home to Maori Oxshott last weekend. Saturdays in the summer without cricket are like gin without tonic or strawberries without cream, it just doesn’t feel right. So after an unsettled week and a downpour on Friday night we were relieved to arrive at Dorking on Saturday morning to find it was very much game on!

And it was game on, in every sense of the word as the top 6 teams in the league (now only separated by 11 points) did battle on a weekend where losing wasn’t an option.

Dorking C.C. is a proper club. Steeped in History, the ground itself is situated at the foot of Boxhill and provides fantastic views of the rolling Surrey Countryside. They have 4 teams that represent them on a Saturday, one on a Sunday, another midweek XI and thriving colts section. Most of those colts seemed to be representing their 3rd & 4th XI’s, just as it should be. Their 2’s are a solid team with no real weak links therefore it was a surprise to us all that they were relegated in 2010 after just on season in Division 4.

Their pitch had been covered yet it was still fairly soft and had a more than a tinge of green about it. On first inspection it promised to do a little early on, especially with the new ball, so winning the toss and bowling was the only option. We did exactly that and Unsworth & Lown opened up. Known to their team mates as Leggsy and Lownsy this can cause serious problems amongst the rest of the team as they set about encouraging the pair between deliveries. The skipper is easily confused and amongst trying to sort out his fields and stay one step ahead of the game he can often be heard to shout “Well bowled Leggsy boy” after Lownsy has beaten the outside edge and “Areas Lownsy” as Leggsy nips one away towards the slips. To their credit both Leggsy and Lownsy just pull the face and get on with their work, and it was only injury to Unsworth that stopped this charade from going on for over after over.

Unsworth is suffering from a “Pectoralis Muscle Rupture”. To you, me and everyone else he has tweaked his tit!! Not a common injury I hear you say, but it is a pain in the breast when it comes to trying to bowl right arm, medium-fast. He managed just 3 overs on Saturday and although he did grab the wicket of the opener caught at second slip by Tom Clements we were very quickly without the leader of our attack for the 2nd time in 3 weeks. Fahad Tanveer (not easily confused with Leggsy or Lownsy) replaced Unsworth and struck almost immediately, as the new ball was offering just enough assistance despite the pitch's apparent lack of pace. Tanveer would strike 2 more times in a devastating 1st spell and with the help of miserly overs from Lown at the other end Dorking were rocking at 49/4.

I mentioned that the pitch was slow, but in Tanveer we have a bowler who is quick through the air and he caused problems to a Dorking top order that all seemed to be in something of a hurry. None of them showed the application required of a top order batsman and their skipper’s team-talk, asking the batsman to be “selfish” had obviously fallen on deaf ears. It was left to the middle order to try and re-build a total.

With the ball now approaching 25 overs old, the pitch became very flat and offered very little in the way of sideways movement. It was left to Fudge (replacing Tanveer) and Breakwell to try and keep a lid on the scoring a restrict Dorking to anything under 200. Fudge returned 0/31 from his 11 overs and Breakwell 0/17 from the same number at the other end and although no.’s 5 & 6 were digging in, the WICK were well in control of the run rate. Neither of these batsmen was blessed with an immense amount of stroke making ability however they played the situation perfectly and towards the end of their 100+ partnership their follow throughs began to lengthen the boundaries were threatened. This was the perfect example of what “occupying the crease” does for you and proof that even batsman with limited ability can be difficult to dislodge.

Tanveer returned to eventually get rid of them both and ended up with career best figures of 5/61 from 14. Before no.’s 7 & 8 threw the bat at the end and damaged Breakwell’s figures with some lusty blows. The decision of Dorking’s captain (batting at the time) to bat the full 55 was an interesting one. If he knew anything about our first 6 games he would know that we haven’t had to chase anything more than 150 all season and historically we don’t do draws so he may have been tempted to leave us a more gettable target in an attempt to produce rash shots and collect early wickets. As it was he went the whole hog and left us with just 45 to chase down 233.

Tea – 2009 isn’t that long ago but I am pretty sure that the teas were of a slightly higher standard back in the day than they were on this occasion. Plenty to go round and all pleasant enough, but a bit like the home team's bowling attack, it lacked variation and any real sense of mystery. 6.5/10

The 2s welcomed Imran Rashid into the ranks for Saturday’s game, a selection that would hopefully benefit the team and more importantly the individual involved. Rashid is pure class!! You won’t see a higher elbow or a bigger stride in the whole of the Surrey league. He reminds me of Matthew Elliot (former Australian Test Batsman) who albeit was left handed, shares the same upright, fluent style and unquestionable desire when it comes to churning out big runs. At the halfway point skipper Fudge had set his and the team’s eye firmly on reaching the winning draw target of 191. And thoughts of winning the game outright were parked until we found ourselves in a position to do so. 191 from 45 is still 4.2 an over and a sensible target in a league where 4 points could become crucial.

Rashid opened with the dependable Cole and the two of them were joined in the middle by Unsworth as the umpire called play on the second innings. Despite some indifferent batting this year, this wasn’t a new tactic dreamt up to bamboozle the opposition by opening up with three batsmen, (although now you mention it…) but Unsworth was purely there to help facilitate Cole in the running between wickets after he had earlier picked up a hamstring injury when diving to stop a ball at short extra cover. Unsworth was ultimately chosen after a process of elimination that involved working out who was the least knackered. The skipper had initially picked keeper Copeland (youngest in the team, despite previous warning) but after being told where to go by his young keeper (no respect these days) it was decided that even a torn tit couldn’t get Unsworth out of this one. In a week where the ICC outlined plans to stop batsman from having runners, Unsworth was in the wrong place at the wrong time, but manfully took one for the team, donning pads, gloves, bats and even a helmet, to match Cole’s attire. It’s a good job it wasn’t too hot!!

Cole and Rashid looked a really solid opening partnership, playing straight and seeing off any problems the new ball may have caused. Both kept the scoreboard ticking and racked up a 50 partnership to dent Dorking’s early intent. The pair almost made it too drinks (25 overs) before Cole (and Unsworth, now puffing quite profusely) was dismissed for 28 trying to loft spinner Quinn over the infield. Fudge joined Rashid and pushed the score on to 98/1 from 30 overs. The WICK required another 93 from the last 15 overs to secure the winning draw and they were favourites to do so as Fudge and now Rashid were starting to hit the smaller of the two boundaries with more regularity. Fudge brutally greeted 2 bowling changes as Subesh & Rogers were hit out of the attack after just one over spells. He bought up his 50 with a lofted 6 over extra cover and more than little help from fielder, Lane. Rashid too had reached his 50 and was looking like really going on, before he dragged on the impressive Lane (2/52) for 67. The WICK reached the winning draw target with 2 overs to go and as Fudge fell going for another maximum on over the short offside thoughts of a win disappeared with him back to the pavilion. Weerakoon & Crowther were left to knock around the final few deliveries and the WICK went home with a well earned 4 points.

MOM – Rashid A near flawless opening display, Rashid provided the 2’s (and opening partner Cole) with exactly what we had been missing. Rashid displayed great technique, a sense of calm and a desire to turn a good start into a well made half century. The 2’s batting clicked this week as they made 206 in good time against a decent attack. This added to another near flawless fielding display and a bowling effort that did well to recover from Unsworth’s injury and restrict Dorking in a mammoth 55 overs provided us with plenty positives heading into this weeks re-match against table topping Old Hamptonians.

Match Report - 1xi vs Kempton - by Mat E Dee

1xi 152-9 (52) beat
Kempton 1xi 65ao (c.30 overs)

Great toss to lose this one. Overnight rain had left the pitch dank and warm to touch. The weather was overcast and cloudy, with it expected to clear up through the day. I was of course delighted then to be strapping the pads at 1320.

Ali and Davies started watchfully against disciplined bowling from Kempers. A difficult pitch (albeit slow) meant patience was the key. After seeing off the shine, both fell caught behind leaving the Wick teetering at 16-2. Day joined Raza and found things equally difficult but ate up some time allowing the deck to improve and runs to be accumulated later. When O’M joined Raza Kempers were on top, but a classy partnership progressed the Wick score slowly. O’M in particular looking serene with some wonderful driving and manipulation of the crease. His wicket was a total surprise, but Raza’s innings continued. You make your luck.

Mackie came and went, having ran about 10 but only scoring 2. Neither Tughral nor Tong were able to add much to the score. Cronin, battling hard on a difficult track propelled the Wick to a defendable 152 off 52 overs. (Kempers would get 43 to get them). This was probably below par, but not by much. Sure conditions were improving, but the pitch was like a teenage boy's face and would dry in this state making the bounce unpredictable. The extra pace could also work in our favour given our attack.

Teas – some potato salad and I think some scone action. 8.5 Id say.

Ali and Tong opened up, in conditions that would lead to wickets....the question being how many. Both lacked something at the start, but found their range soon enough. The ball was swinging an Tong took out an off stump to start proceedings. Ali, being tight without repeating the heroics of last week, kept plugging and beating the edge with some regularity. Tong – fresh from his 3rd place in the Miss Ghana 2011 competition, was replaced by Vishva who also began to make the ball talk. The rate started well for Kempers, but the Wick reigned them in with some discipline and some athletic fielding from Day and others.

Day replaced Ali and with the aggression of a firework up his arse chuntered in like Hoggard used to. He seared one in first up, lbw and things went from good to excellent sooen thereafter. Vishva nailed the #3 with a ripper and then immediately took out another. Day at the other end was bowling like a man possessed. Caught point (great catch from Mackie), bowled, caught sq leg, ct 1st slip and ct 2nd completed a quite ridiculous return of 5.2-5-7. That’s 7 wickets. And 5 runs. Some real pace and venom in many of those balls and no less quality in the supporting fielding cast.

Great stuff.

MOM – Adam, Raza and Cronin did well with the bat, but Daisy’s spell would win any game. Wallop.

Caption Competition...

SAT TEAMS - 25TH JUNE

SAT 25TH JUNE

1ST XI V Kempton (H)

1 Ali 2 Davies © 3 Day 4 Raza 5 O'Mahoney (+) 6 Mackie 7 Cronin 8 Tughral, Zo 9 Tong 10 Abeyrante, Vishva 11 Tughral, Zam

U: B. Sissen S: A. Whitcher

M: 12:00 S: 13:30

2ND XI V Dorking (A)

1 Cole 2 Rashid 3 Fudge © 4 Weerakoon, Naveendra 5 Crowther 6 Clements Tom 7 Copeland H (+) 8 Tanveer, Fahad 9 Breakwell 10 Unsworth 11 Lown

U: S. Riley S: N/A

M: 11:00 S: 13:00

3RD XI V Walton on Thames (H)

1 Risman 2 Ratnage 3 Singh © 4 Byrne, Dan 5 Hirsch 6 Rudolph, Matt (+) 7 Oliver, Robbie 8 Charlton E 9 McMullan 10 Linter 11 Ilyas, Aqeel

U: N/A S: N/A

M: 12:00 S: 13:00

WICK

WED & SUN TEAM NEWS

Wed XI vs. Hampton Hill C.C. (Away)

1) High (c)
2) Rashid
3) Cronin
4) Davies
5) Byrne
6) O'Mahoney
7) Clements +
8) Oliver
9) Abeyrante
10) Weerakoon
11) Vijayakumar

Meet @ Hampton Hill - 17:30
Start - 17:45

SUN XI vs. Sutton C.C. (Home)

1) Tong (c)
2) Jackson
3) Madoc-Jones J +
4) Miles
5) Dann
6) Madoc-Jones D
7) Vijayakumar
8) Nehru
9) Smith J
10) Bal
11) Smith G

Meet - 13:30
Start - 14:00

Saturday teams to follow.

WICK

India and DRS... Just Asking...

The BCCI has vetoed the use of DRS in the forthcoming Test series and Wickman thinks he knows why. Two words. Graeme Peter Swann.

If you were sending a side over to play in English conditions and were already worried about fronting up to pace, swing and seam of the calibre of Anderson, Tremlett and Broad what would you do tactically to negate the threat of England?

There's little you can do about the quickies. But you might have a look at England's most potent weapon of recent years and decide that if you could knock out one of HIS major weapons you would. The LBW. It's widely accepted that Swanny is getting more wickets than folk such as John Emburey and even The Turbanator because umpires have been convinced to give more LBWs on the front foot to off spinners in particular.

Wickman hasn't got access to exact stats but Swann gets more LBs than anyone did in the past bowling offies. And that's because umpires started giving them following the introduction of Hawkeye - the technology telling them that more balls were hitting the stumps than was accepted before.

So it stands to reason then that if you take out DRS, Swann will get fewer decisions in his favour. Now here's where you would have to get really deep into the numbers. Does Swann get given a significant proportion of his LBs on DRS reviews? Wickman feels as if he does get another 25%. Just a feeling mind. So have India pulled a fast one?

It depends. I wonder how many Swann victims have got away with ones sliding past leg stump or being hit outside the line playing a shot due to DRS? It could be similar. And given that we think that umpires are more likely to give them on the front foot now - with, it stands to reason, more reason to doubt... taking out DRS might actually backfire on the Indians. Imagine MSD - apparently the most vocal opponent backed up by (surprise, surprise) other senior bats including Tendulkar (you wouldn't hear bowlers asking for it to be withdrawn) - being trapped just outside off stump (marginal but DRS wouldn't give it) and someone unimpeachable like Aleem Dar sending him on his way.

Poetic justice. So will Indian chickens come home to roost?

Just asking...

Thames Ditton vs 1xi - Match Report by our man with the snorkel, Matty D

"Matty D believes toss will be important at Thames Ditton"

Thames Ditton 1xi vs HWRCC
HWRCC 92 Vishy 20*
Thames Ditton 80 Nomaan 7-40

Scorecard

Forget what you think you know about cricket, cos you aint seen nuffink yet. Saturday was an incredible game in a season that is fast becoming one for squeaky bums...

We played Thames Ditton in the cup earlier in the season and won well although not totally convincingly. The weather was however always going to be a leveller and the greenest of green tops welcomed us at the Village Green. They did however have covers, which actually meant the difference between a match and no match. At 1310, in dry but sunny conditions both teams were warming up, before the heavens opened and fleeing to the clubhouse I was reminded of Sanderstead from 2010. Nail biting stuff.

An hour later after the heavens had tired, we ventured out to find an outfield moist but drying, and a track dry but green and even softer than before. This would be a crucial toss, or so you would think.

The odds of losing the toss 6 times in a row is 1 in 64. This therefore makes me as clever as Paul the Octopus, who correctly predicted the path of Germany successfully through the recent World Cup, only to say they would lose in the final, which they did. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10567712. If we had as many arms as he does we may be able to catch a bit better and make our lives a lot easier.

Rather than describing the game, I will show you the Blackberry message narrative between two Wick members (who shall remain nameless) – one who watched the entire game, the other who was a keen observer. Their emotional rollercoaster mirrored those playing and provide the clearest description of the action:

Day off Wick: Keep me updated on the score.
Day off Wick: 4 balls into the 3's game and the heavens have opened and stopped play. Pissing it down.
Day off Wick: Are you playing?
Spectator Wick: Just about to toss up here & heavens open....chucking it down
Day off Wick: Forecast got it spot on. Heavy rain from 1pm to 4pm across Surrey. In the bookies. Best place to be on a day like this.
Day off Wick: Got covers?
Spectator Wick: Yes, I reckon we'll be on in a couple of hours.
Day off Wick: Always the optimist.
Spectator Wick: Covers coming off.
Day off Wick: Who won the toss?
Spectator Wick: Haven't tossed up yet. Won't be using the lucky coin ;)
Spectator Wick: Starting at 14.30.
Day off Wick: Who's bowling?
Spectator Wick: We're batting, Matty D lost the toss...
Day off Wick: ATS
Day off Wick: Playing?
Spectator Wick: 11-1 after 6. Can bat for 44
Day off Wick: Who is out?
Spectator Wick: Nomaan. Bowled by Curtley Ambrose. 19-1 off 9. Difficult track, green.
Spectator Wick: 23-2 Mattyd bowled
Spectator Wick: 23-3 Kam bowled duck.
Day off Wick: Start doing a rain dance!
Spectator Wick: 38-4. Day bowled. Bonay & High in
Day off Wick: All 4 wickets bowled? Raining now.
Spectator Wick: Yes! Spitting, clear behind
Spectator Wick: Sunny now!
Spectator Wick: 51-4. High has hit 2 boundaries.
Spectator Wick: 51-5 High holes out. Caught mid off
Spectator Wick: 53-6 Cronin yorked. Turning into a bit of a Jakki (Jakki Brambles – Shambles)
Day off Wick: Bonay still in?
Spectator Wick: Yes with Zohaak
Spectator Wick: Er......no. Just caught at mid wicket. 53-7
Day off Wick: I'm surprised Matty was so desperate to play. Always think in conditions like today, anything can happen?
Spectator Wick: 63-8 Zam gets under a slower ball, caught mid on
Spectator Wick: 68-9
Spectator Wick: Zohaak caught 1st slip.
Day off Wick: What did we end up with?
Spectator Wick: 92 all out 41.1
Day off Wick: Deary me.
Spectator Wick: Bad toss to lose
Spectator Wick: 2-1. Nomaan wkt with 1st ball
Spectator Wick: 2-2 another bowled!
Day off Wick: Game on.
Spectator Wick: 11-3 Nomaan c&b
Spectator Wick: Suddenly 92 looks a long way off.
Day off Wick: Fact. Should have declared on 80 and given themselves more time to bowl the oppo out.
Day off Wick: All gone quiet?
Spectator Wick: Kam has dropped 2, 2 lbw's not given 52-3 now
Spectator Wick: 59-4. Their top man run out
Day off Wick: Run out! Chasing only 90! Schoolboy.
Spectator Wick: 60-5 played on
Spectator Wick: Kam catches 1 at cow 68-6
Spectator Wick: 68-7 Nomaan bowled
Spectator Wick: 68-8 kam bowled
Spectator Wick: 75-8. Curtley hit a huge 6. Facing Nomaan now...
Day off Wick: Curtley the key.
Spectator Wick: Riley has just given him lbw b Kam, plum in front of middle 80-9.
Spectator Wick: WICK win 80 all out
Day off Wick: WICKWASH
Spectator Wick: More like WICKWASHout.... ;)

...and relax...

A few points that you may have not picked up from the above:

1. Vish and Shri put on 24 for the final wicket. Vital, vital, vital.
2. Their opener was excellent – decent pace and got 5-50 from 21 overs unchanged.
3. The track was lethal, so 92 was below par, but not by much
4. Teas were very good – the softest bread Ive had in a while, although as always lacked the variety of HWRCC
5. Cricket is a game played in the mind....92 was 1 more than they were gonna get.
6. Nomaan got 7 wickets, and had 2 cathces dropped off his bowling (Day had one drop as well)
7. The run out turned the game – MattyDs throw from the boundary, Tuggles Zam demolishing the stumps to get rid of the danger man #4.
8. Cheers to Ali for scoring, Riley for umpiring following the 2 s cancellation, Lloydy, Lown, Sissen and Bonay’s mum for watching.
9. Epic.

MOM - Vish. Diving around like a gazelle in the field and scoring 20 vital runs at #10. Shri was the same. Neither got a bowl (despite being bowlers), but with the bat they made the difference and turned 3 or 4 points into 20. Nomaan is Nomaan. Class.

3xi Match Report by Lownsy

HWRCC 3xi vs Old Hamptonians (Friendly)
HWRCC 1
Old Hamptonians DID NOT BAT

Ratnage, Lloyd, Hirsch, Oliver, Soppitt, Rudolph +, Bendall, Charlton, Donnelly, Linter, Lown*

The 3rd XI were given a week off league cricket due to Old Tiffs falling out of the league. With 5 wins on the bounce, all were keen to keep up the standard of cricket, and a friendly against local rivals Old Hamptonians was just the way to do so.

With heavy rain on the Friday, the pitch inspection from Del did not sound promising (“we are playing on that? You have got to be joking. Let’s not be nonsensical about this.")

Having lost the toss, Wick were put into bat into what was now a 20/20 match. Ratnage opened up and left the first ball which pitched on middle and sort of tennis ball bounced to the keeper. The second ball was a bit straighter so Sam played a solid looking forward defence back to the bowler who fielded the ball. The third ball was a bit too straight and hit the thigh pad. But with height and going down leg, there was no appeal. The ball ran off towards fine leg and they ran a leg bye. Lloyd faced the next ball and again played a solid enough looking forward defence. 1-0 off 0.4 overs. Then the rain came. It was a bit like that scene in Forrest Gump when he is out in Vietnam:

“One day it started raining, and it didn't quit for four months. We been through every kind of rain there is. Little bitty stingin' rain... and big ol' fat rain. Rain that flew in sideways. And sometimes rain even seemed to come straight up from underneath. Shoot, it even rained at night..”

Everyone went back into the clubhouse for 45 minutes whilst we waited for the rain to stop. Once it did, the pitch was unplayable, and with it being a friendly, it was decided it was not worth chewing up the square. So we all got back in the cars and headed back to the Wick.

In terms of tea report, we didn’t stick around long enough to get a tea. However after a stop off in Sainsburys on the way back, I had a really nice southern fried chicken wrap and bag of Doritos, Lloydy went for a Moroccan chicken and cous cous dish and Linter had a BLT sandwich. 7/10

MOM went to Dave Bendall for his signaling of the leg bye – struggled with the balance after lifting his leg up and almost fell over, but composed himself enough to give a tap on the thigh which allowed Ed to note down correctly.