Wednesday, 29 December 2010
Team of the Series - to Date
Always a good one this. From those currently fit to play (removing any debate about Broady or Harris).
Openers... Cook. Strauss (a moment's hesitation over Watson - he's got more runs than Strauss...) No, Strauss. Gets it for solidity and proven ability to convert a score.
At three... Trotty. No issue. The new David Boon. Limited but effective. If he gets in, will get you big runs. Ponting not fit to clean his boots in this series.
At four... KP. Still the best bat in the England set up although weight of runs has not been quite there has looked very clam and authoratative. Knocks Clarke into a cocked hat.
At five... Mr Cricket. You can't have Colly in the side on the form he's showing.
Six. Bell vs Watson... and Watson loses out again. Just.
Seven. Haddin. Better series than Prior although it's close. Haddin has come up with something almost every time he's batted. Prior's one knock of substance was flaky stuff. Haddin's keeping a micron better than Prior who has looked a little suspect standing up to Swann at times.
Eight. Swanny. Only spinner in the series worthy of the term.
Eleven. James Anderson. Brilliant this series in almost every innings.
So... two more bowlers. Siddle first. Should have been better backed up in Brisbane and bowled with real skill in Melbourne. Tries his bollocks off. Then... Tremlett. Has bowled beautifully in his two games and convinced any doubters. Sould have been better supported by all his colleagues in Perth otherwise might have seen a different result there.
No place for Bresnan. Bowled superbly in Melbourne but hasn't done enough to get the nod at this point.
Cook. Strauss. Trott. KP. Mr Cricket. Bell. Haddin. Swann. Siddle. Tremlett. Anderson. The funny thing is... it really doesn't look any better than the England XIs we have put out with the exception of Mr Cricket for Colly...
Hang on a Minute...
As much as Wickman has enjoyed watching us browbeat and demoralise this Aussie XI and "retain the Ashes for the first time in 24 years" the job isn't finished. Not by a long stretch.
Any England cricket fan worth his or her salt will want to see us press for a series win in Sydney, no less. There will be a real sense of deflation in the Wickman camp if we come away from this at 2-2. While we will still have the urn, Aussie sides of the past 20 years made sure they won the thing outright and didn't retain it on a technicality.
This England side earned the right to come into this series with the advantage of having the Urn, compelling Australia to beat us to get it back. But who seriously thinks its enough to come away with a series draw and say "Well, we played them in their back yard and kept it - that's good enough for me?"
There was a sense last night in the early hours as the old guard who knew the feeling (Gower, Botham) and Hussain (who never did) failing to spot that the job isn't finished yet. Declaring England to be the better side and burnishing the pedestal was a failure to understand the real hurt of the last 20 years. That has been that we have been comprehensively dismantled in most of the intervening series. They have been pretty one sided and in most of them we have failed to take a lead at any point in them barring the miracle of Edgbaston when Nasser got a big score and the last two home series where we have largely come from behind to turn things around.
This is a good achievement no doubt. We've secured the Ashes until 2013 and no one can take them away. But the bragging rights will be much diminished if we don't put another convincing performance together with bat and ball in Sydney and at least shade the game.
There are five more days left in this series. The clamour for Australia to start rebuilding and pick the successes from this team (Hussey, Haddin, Siddle, Watson [ish]) and pick seven amoebas to prepare them for the next Australian Reich is somewhat premature.
Ponting MUST captain the side in Sydney. He has one last shot at redemption and must be offered the chance to take it. The only established batsman who could take the honour is Clarke and if anything he is in worse nick than Punter. Mr Cricket does not have captaincy credentials. Too quiet. Too nice. Haddin for some reason is never mentioned. Watson is a grade A nobber and never looks interested unless someone is giving him sh*t in the middle. There isn't anyone else in the Melbourne XI who is guaranteed a trot out in Sydney.
And Punter must bat at three. He might not be making runs right now but is Khawaja or Ferguson the answer in a crunch match with England on fire with the ball? Neither have done much to recommend them while England have been touring. Why set them up to fail now? Those guys need to come in at five and six and be given an opportunity to suss the game out. Hussey needs to come in at four but hopefully when the ball isn't new. Haddin has been batting a position too deep.
The selectors ought to dispense with Hughes right now and let him get some runs against a side that don't know how to bowl at him. And they should jettison Clarke as well for a Test. Let him get some runs in Shield stuff and prepare for the one dayers. Bring back Katich. Wickman hates watching him but he's a better bet than Hughes. Persist with Watson in the Hayden role. And blood one of the newbies. So: Katich, Watson, Punter, Hussey (step up man!), Khawaja / Fergusson, Haddin as a top six which should be able to make 350.
Then remodel the bowling attack. Now Wickman's knowledge of fringe members of the Aussie squad is not what it should be but let's face it with Harris on the gurney for two months it's time for some desperate action. Whatever reason that Hauritz has been left out needs to be addressed and he needs to play ahead of the spinner no one wants to play... Beer. Siddle is inked in. A real tryer with some passion. Wickman likes the cut of his gib. Johnson. Johnson. He needs someone to give him a rollicking and to stop fannying around.
There was a moment in Trotty's innings where he was scratching out his mark again. Johnson decided to come round the wicket. And there he was, captured on camera, re-gripping the ball like Sergio Garcia with the yips, and running through a little warm up "jump, rotate arm, let go of ball while rolling fingers down the seam" routine. He's been over coached, over tolerated. FFS! Get him in a room with Brett Lee and Merv Hughes after a few beers and get them to tell him how to let it rip again. He was the best cricketer in the World 18 months ago.
Hmm. So that's Hauritz, Siddle and Johnson. Is Bollinger fit? Don't rate him actually. Where's Tait? Yes. Bring back Tait. Get him to bowl at 97 mph for a bit. One match. NO pressure. Just knock some heads together. And then pick Smith. For the future. And find one other bowler from Shield cricket. Perhaps that chap who got some England wickets earlier in the tour. Katich. Watson. Punter. Hussey. Khawaja / Fergusson. Johnson. Smith. Hauritz. Siddle. Tait. A N Other.
It's not a world beater but it gives Australia a chance of getting something from the wreckage.
Monday, 20 December 2010
WIckman's View from Behind His Fingers
So erm... there it was. The comprehensive Ashes winning performance that everyone expected from this England team. Not.
Wickman mentioned that this Australian side hadn't just become Bangladesh overnight and that there was no guarantee that we would win on a result wicket. But my oh my how we capitulated. In just about total control at 0-78 after getting Australia for a manageable 268 you would have thought that our much vaunted top six could have rattled up 400 and put the boot on the Aussie neck.
But Johnson suddenly found his range and Harris delivered and once again we'd thrown away a dominant position against the old enemy like we managed to in Headingly 2009. Immediately the English media have turned on the team - almost in some form of payback for the guys letting them down after they had written so much guff about how we were going to wipe the floor and keep the Urn in time for Christmas.
The title of this piece would suggest that Wickman actually watched some of this test. Well. He didn't. The lure of a lie-in on the Saturday and Sunday mornings (with no golf to drag him from his sack) was too much to resist. When he turned on the radio for an update it was clear that torturing himself by trying to get up and wrest the remote from Spongebob watching little Wickmen was going to be too much of a battle - especially if it was going to be to see various England tyros ducking bullets from Johnson and wetly steering Harris to the slip cordon.
That it was topped up by the thought of watching Watson finally get past 60 and us bowling full tosses at the middle of Hussey's bat was too much to bear. So rather like the England team after the second day, Wickman chalked this one up to the cricket Gods and set his alarm clock for Melbourne.
The MCG Test now takes on massive significance. There is already talk that the Aussies are preparing another result wicket (although one that won't take any turn). We are back to West coast time so it will be possible (if not desirable) to watch the first sessions rather than the evening ones which really didn't go England's way in Perth. And we are now back in a series - a good old fashioned dog fight the like of which we haven't seen in Australia for years. Two tests to go and the Ashes could reside with either country. But you get the feeling that both sides are pretty fragile right now. If one gets on top in Melbourne then the series is heading in that direction.
Right now it's too close to call. England have had one hand on the trophy and you wonder if at 78-0 they actually were imagining they had two on it. England took 20 wickets for the second successive test. We just failed to tough it out with the bat. That's three times we've capitulated in this series against two decent efforts. It's time the batsmen came back to the party and this time bought some booze and a couple of racy birds too.
Tuesday, 14 December 2010
Perth Hoodoo... Will it Help?
What with the all the triumphalism about in the English media and the downright suicidal tone in the Australian media, you would be forgiven for thinking that England will destroy Australia for a decade this Thursday.
During an Ashes series abroad it's traditional for the Aussie media to be raising Shane Warne onto a pedestal. But things have got so grim for them that this time around it's because he's shtupping a middle aged lady with great cans who has appeared in some adverts, a dress held together with safety pins and was cast aside in favour of a skanky prostitute by floppy haired fop Hugh Grant. If you were English you might be asking why he has to fly round the world to score these days. But then that's probably because he already has every woman's telephone number in Australia on his mobile.
And actually things are pretty grim for Australia. So bad so that Greg Chappell has tried to post-rationalise dropping Johnson as a "rotation policy". They've picked someone called "Beer" to give the sub-editors on Aussie newspapers something else to pun with rather than simply variations on "Selectors are idiots, team is a disgrace". And one paper has called for the resignation of chief selector Andrew Hilditch. But only after the World Cup. Crikey. The press must be hoping he stuffs that up too so they can carry on writing this stuff until well into April.
So the question is... how bad actually IS it in the Aussie camp? Are they feeling the pressure? Well... there are very few of them claiming they are going to win the Ashes now. In fact all talk of targetting batsmen is out of the window. The press are hoping that Jimmy A has screwed himself by flying back to the UK. (Interestingly he claims to have stayed on Aussie time for his visit - very easy with the UK dark for 24 hours a day at the moment). They also seem to be hinting that the England players will be so exhausted from catching up with 44 days of no conjugals that they will be unable to stand on Thursday never mind bat, bowl or field. And there is some crowing about Cooky not batting for three consecutive millennia on a pudding in Melbourne.
This is STILL not a terrible cricket side even if the preparation and background work from the selectors and media people has been poor. Ponting, Clarke and Hussey are still good bats. Watson is a good number six who just happens to be opening. Haddin is as good as any keeper batsman, Gilchrist aside, that Australia have produced including Healey. There are runs in them there hills... even if the openers look a bit iffy.
The bowling does look a bit popgun at the moment but Perth is just the place (if the curator is to be believed) for a fast / seam attack to prosper. Especially if it's green to start with. That will be a good toss to lose. And England have already fallen over once in the series and haven't dominated in any of the State games in the way that did on the flat Test tracks we've all become used to.
You sense that the Aussies are desperate to have a result wicket here. They cannot afford to lose, but a draw simply puts more pressure on them to win two on the bounce on tracks that are not expected to be wicket fests. There is some debate as to what a four day wicket in Australia is like but that's what the curator has prepared he claims and monkeys to the hierarachy at the WACA who would prefer the game to go the distance.
So this has all the hallmarks of a shootout, here and now, for the urn. Win this and the Aussies only need to win one more game. Lose it and they have to win two to even draw the series, Ashes gone. The only fly in this particular ointment is that actually England have been better in seaming / quick conditions than Australia recently. Game well and truly on.
Thursday, 9 December 2010
HWRCC 2011 COMMITTEE & CLUB CAPTAINS
Captain of the Club and Chairman of Committee:
KEITH NICHOLLS
Hon. Secretary:
NICK CLARK
Hon. Fixture Secretary:
JOEY BREAKWELL
Hon. Treasurer:
KEITH NICHOLLS
Hon. Fundraiser:
MATTHEW DAVIES
Hon Colts Leader:
CHARLIE BROWNING
Welfare Officers :
M FLETCHER, JOE EWEN
CAPTAINS
1st XI Saturday:
MATTHEW DAVIES
2nd XI Saturday:
DAVID FUDGE
3rd XI Saturday:
NATHAN SINGH
Sunday XI:
GRAEME TONG
Wednesday XI:
ROBERT SISSEN
Twenty20 XI:
MARK MACKIE
Club Scorer:
ALSION WHITCHER
League Represntative:
TOM CROWTHER
Elected Committee Members
GREG UNSWORTH
STEPHEN RILEY
PHILIP LINTER
MATTHEW GOULBORN
Kit Manager:
RICHARD COLE
WICK
Wednesday, 8 December 2010
2010 CHAIRMANS AWARD WINNER - NICK CLARK
The Chairman's Award is special!! By all means fill your boots with 500 runs or take 50 wickets, we won't mind that!! But what really makes a club tick, is it's members and one's devotion to the cause, devotion to the WICK!!
Lots of people up and down the country play cricket. But there are a few special people at every club that put in hideous amounts of effort to ensure that majority are able to just turn up and doe exactly that; play. It's the behind the scenes stuff that really makes a cricket club what it is and the WICK such a special place to be a member of.
We are fortunate to have a number of these special people at our club and they have once again given up their time to help improve the WICK in 2010.
So rightly so the following people received nominations for the 2010 Chairman's Award; Dominic Lown, David Fudge, Greg Unsowrth and Charlie Browning all made a real difference this year and their hard work will never go un-recognised, however this years recipient really stood out from the crowd.
Nick Clark was announced the winner of the Chairman's Award for 2010 and received his trophy to rapturous applause on Sat night.
Nick's persistent effort to move the club forward was rewarded with the WICK being awarded Club Mark in the Spring of 2010. This was a great achievement by Nick and the rest of the sub committee and provided a real feather in the clubs cap. Clarky wasn't done there. He excelled in his new role as Chief Selector, helping the league captains continuously get strong teams out on a Saturday and actually represented the WICK in League, Sunday and Wednesday cricket to show their is life in the old dog yet. Add this to being Hon. Club Sec and head of club communications (Who is WICKMAN?), Nick was also pivotal in helping persuade GRCP to become new Sponsors of the HWRCC Colts.
All that's left to say is, Thank You Nick, and you are totally and utterly WICK!!
WICK
2010 PLAYER OF THE YEAR - NOMAN ALI
2010 BOWLER OF THE YEAR - GRAEME TONG
2010 BATSMAN OF THE YEAR - NOMAN ALI
2010 FIELDER OF THE YEAR - HARRY COPELAND
2010 - WICK XI
1) Noman Ali
What a debut season from the WICKS new 1st XI Star. An ever present in the team, Noman amassed an impressive 66o runs in 16 league games at an average of 47 as well as taking 28 wickets at just over 20 a piece. This was Noman’s first season in England and he is already looking forward to even more success in 2011.
2) Matthew Goulborn
Matthew really benefited from a full season of cricket has he maintained fantastic form throughout the year. 440 league runs included a memorable hundred at home to Mitcham and he wasn’t done there. A regular member of the midweek side, he also notched three figures against the reliably strong, Wine Trade.
3) Nathan Singh
Nathan was the epitome of consistency in 2010 reaching double figures on all but two occasions in a total of 14 innings. With three scores in the 30’s and three others in the 40’s Nathan will be kicking himself that he didn’t manage a half century, but will be delighted with accruing 360 runs and his highest overall run total in a league season. Nathan is one of the most naturally destructive batsmen in the club and I am sure that the newly appointed 3rd XI skipper will build on last years efforts and lead from the front in 2011.
4) Kamran Raza
Kamran once again led from the front in the 1st XI year by contributing heavily with both bat and ball. Kammy scored a valuable 438 league runs, including 4 half centuries and reverting to off spin took 29 league wickets at under 20 a piece. Kamran’s bucket like hands also saw him take 11 catches and making him a nominee for the fielder of the year award.
5) Alex JacksonAJ represented a promotion pushing 2nd XI 14 times last year and contributed a healthy 364 runs from just 12 innings. AJ joined Goldy in a record stand of 178 against Mitcham by helping himself to a league hundred of his own. Batting at #5 AJ was not out 5 times as he often found himself taking apart the spinners and finishing off an innings. AJ finished 2010 with a healthy average of 45 and will be a key member of the team if the 2’s are to go at least one better and secure promotion in 2o11.
6) Joe Hirsch
This was the season the Joe really came of age and turned natural talent into regular runs. Joe amassed 275 in just 10 3rd appearances including two half centuries and contributed well to the 2nd XI when called up for duty. Joe will know doubt look to build on 2010‘s achievements and press on next year.
7) Harry Copeland +
Harry’s glove work improved out of sight in 2010 and a new found confidence saw him take a huge step forward. Harry plucked 12 important catches many of which that turned the game at vital times. Harry has the ability with both bat and ball to push for higher honours in 2011 and as he is already being touted as a 1st XI keeper of the future. Harry is a WICK star in the making and real asset to the club.
8) Graeme Tong
Graeme had the unenviable task of juggling opening the bowling for the 1st XI with being captain of the Sunday team yet he seemed to thrive under the pressure. A true club man Graeme finished a memorable 2010 with 46 wickets and over 250 runs for the club. Graeme led from the front in both teams but shone for the 1’s by taking 31 wickets at just 15 a piece. Graeme is the newly appointed 1st vice captain and will continue to steer the Sunday ship so 2011 promises to be equally as challenging.
9) Tom Donnelly
Tom broke the thirty league wicket barrier for the 1st time in 2010 as he led the 3rd XI attack with great pace and control. Tom finished in the leagues top 10 wicket takers and boasted three 5 wicket hauls in doing so. Tom’s 7/39 was the pick of the bunch as he tore through Oxted and Limpsfield’s top order.
10) Greg Unsworth
Greg was rewarded for a flying start to the season with a well deserved call up and new ball duties for the 1st XI by the end of the 2010 campaign. Greg bagged 9 wickets in his first 3 league games for the 2’s and continued to terrorize 1st and 2nd XI opening bats with late swing throughout the season. Greg finished with 26 league wickets at 19 a piece and signed off in style with 3 for 44 for the 1st XI against promotion pushing Battersea Ironsides.
11) Joey Breakwell
New signing Joey Breakwell joined the 2nd XI from promotion winning Brook and kicked on from where he left off with his former side by being bang amongst the wickets in 2010. Joey announced himself in just his 1st game by taking 4 for 24 against arch rivals Stoke D’Abernon and he followed that up with the seasons most remarkable figures of 10 over’s, 8 maidens 2 for 8 against Old Hamptonians. Only injury stopped Joey from taking league honours as his season was cut 4 games short. However 35 wickets at just over 11 was a great return in your first season for a new club.
WICK
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Wickman Calls for New Ashes Venue
It's never usually a good idea to watch the Perth test. Wickman can't remember the last time he tuned into one. He tried to tune into the 2006 test but left it until day 4 by which time it was all over and everyone had packed up and gone home.
Given that the first hour of every session (in fact in many cases the first OVER of each test) of this series has been so vitally important, what idiot decided to schedule an Ashes test in Perth of all places? It's bad enough having to wait until midnight our time to kick off a test on Australia's Eastern seaboard. But coverage won't start until 2am UK time for next week's test and the day's play probably won't get underway until 3am or something hideous.
Now there will be some workshy fops down at the Wick who will be saying "what's not to like Wickman my old buddy, my old chum?" because they will be planning to "get up really early" at about 8am and watch a bit of the final session in their fluffy slippers with Mumsy handing them tea and toast etc.
For the rest of us faced with commuting tasks there will be no joy to be had. Time your morning routine wrong and you'll be having breakfast during the tea break and spending the final session on the 07somethingorother to Waterloo or 300 feet underground in a reeking tube carriage quitely fuming as some Antipodean rams his backpack into your goolies on his way to take a pefectly good bar job somewhere.
By the time you've got into the office, ogled the work experience girl, made a coffee, had your morning constitutional and got to your desk, the whole thing will be over and you will be reduced to watching the ball by balls from India vs Bangladesh or whatever other third rate contest is going on during God's own series.
There's still time to move this test to Peru or Paraguay in a bold move reminiscent of Qatar's bid to host the 2022 Footer World Cup, both of which are four hours behind GMT. This would be perfect allowing for almost a whole evening's booze-filled contemplation of the cricket in a suitable drinking hole in London. Cricket travellers bored of Australia, The West Indies and Cape Town would be rewarded with a new venue to tick off and there would probably be unrestricted access to class A drugs at ridiculous prices. The Aussies would be slightly inconvenienced, granted, as this would make it slightly more difficult for them. But it's not the middle of winter in Australia obviously. Get up at 5.30am or 6.00am and they'd see the majority of a day's play which would be a better compromise.
Tuesday, 7 December 2010
2-0 TO THE ENGERLAND... 2-0 TO THE ENGERLAND...
Botham and Chappell square up in car-park....
Ian Botham and Ian Chappell resumed their 30-year feud in spectacular fashion during the second Test in Adelaide, when they had to be pulled apart by their respective Sky and Channel Nine colleagues following a dust-up in the car-park at the close of the fourth day’s play.
Despite their regular stints in adjacent commentary boxes, neither man has spoken to the other in three decades, with the root of their feud lying in an incident at the Hilton Hotel during the Centenary Test in Melbourne in 1977, when the then-uncapped Botham claimed to have punched the recently retired Chappell off his bar-stool in response to his disparaging remarks about the English.
On Monday, the two came close to blows once again when, according to The Daily Mail, Chappell muttered something provocative in Botham’s direction, before both men dropped their bags and went for each other’s throats. “They might be aged 55 and 67, but neither of them are the type of people to give an inch in the face of conflict,” said a source at Channel Nine.
A Convenient Way to Win
So in the end England beat the rain by 30 odd overs and Australia by an innings and 71. Those of us that watched it live will have seen something strangely familiar but not been quite able to put our fingers on why.
Here we were, watching the final day of an Ashes test match and seeing a side crumble into dust like a vampire exposed to the light at the denouement of one of those great 70s Christopher Lee classics that used to scare the bejasus out of us as kids (well, those of us of Wickman's *ahem* vintage). It felt good. But hell's teeth it was Australia doing the crumbling and not us!
Mike Hussey's pull shot from a Finn short ball that barely got above waist height was criminally badly executed and poorly thought through. It might have been prompted by him feathering an edge off Swanny that got too big on Matt Prior, but it was the wrong shot for the circumstances.
Brad Haddin - so good up until now in this series - played down the wrong line as he had so many times in Brisbane - but this time got an edge. The rest were simply execrable. A tail? Wickman has seen illustrations of Brontosauri with shorter ones. Harris was simply cleaned up and the rest fumbled and groped at Swann like men who had consumed a vat of strong whisky the night before and were blearily fumbling for the alarm clock.
For some reason the presentations seemed to take an age to organise and a stream of delighted Englishmen (some naturalised, naturally) spoke to Athers and the underlying emotion was one of, well, joy. This was a really excellent performance from the first over right the way through the game. 20 wickets vs 5. The first innings defeat in Australia for Australia since 1993 by any team. An imperious century from KP and another chanceless knock from Cook. And then some very disciplined bowling all round, topped off by Swann using a wearing deck to perfection.
Make no bones about it (and you won't even find Australians doing that) they were totally outplayed in every area of the game in a way that we didn't even manage in 2005 and 2009. They were put on the rack, stretched and then broken. The question everyone is going to be asking is can Australia come back from this?
And Athers asked it of everyone he interviewed including Ponting. The message coming from the England spinners (media handlers, not Swanny and KP) was that this is a funny game that will turn round and bite you. Australia didn't become a bad side overnight and we need to stay focussed and not get ahead of ourselves. It seems clear that no one in the England camp wants to give the Australians any reason to get motivated. The Australian rugby team used to say of Matt Dawson era England that we were "pricks to lose to". Our cricketers are leaving nothing to chance.
Australia do have quite a bit going for them. At some point Watson will score a ton. Ponting is due too. Hussey is clearly seeing it like a space hopper. Haddin is very handy. And Clarke too is showing signs that he is still the heir apparent to Ponting at 3. It's in the bowling department that they are struggling to find a combination and a strategy. Siddle was okay. And Harris was the most effective. But the rest at the moment look like so many English strugglers of the 1990s and that's where they need to really improve. Is there anything out there apart from Johnson and Hauritz? The team for the Perth test will tell us if Australia have anything left in the tank.
Wickman can ask nothing more right now. Not only are we winning, we are winning big. And best of all, we're doing it before lunch. Which means those of us watching on this side of the globe can stay up just long enough to spam up facebook and twitter with magnanimous "never minds" for our unusually quiet Australian friends. Now that's a convenient way to win.
Monday, 6 December 2010
Enjoy it now... Ashes Day 9
With up one day remaining in the Adelaide Test, England look firm favourites to win it and go one up in the series, weather permitting.
Jubilant Barmy Army members in Australia and bleary eyed UK resident cricket fans will be willing them on when play begins early again after rain washed out part of today’s session.
In the meantime what should we be making of what’s going on down under? Two and three days into the series it looked like England were about to go down in flames again having contributed a limp batting performance and some less than incisive bowling to what was shaping up for an ominous Aussie win.
Since then Australia haven’t had a sniff. The public are staying away from Adelaide in their thousands largely leaving the BA to boss things in the supporting stakes. Last night in the first session when Australia batted every time Watson or Katich hit a boundary there was a very audible single scream of Australian joy from a person in the crowd. It was disturbing in tone – a sort of mini-orgasm – and in the fact that you could hear it at all in a venue where 20 odd thousand Aussies would usually be baying for blood.
That this Test started on a Friday partly explains the reason why there were so few Aussie fans there to see the day’s play. But mostly it’s because there’s a pall hanging over Australian cricket right now. If it wasn’t for Mr Cricket’s phoenix-like rise and Watson and Haddin’s sheer grit and in-your-face brashness you’d think we were playing an England side presided over by Ted Dexter.
That Ponting persevered with Doherty in this test undid all the good work the selectors undertook in jettisoning Hilfenhaus and Johnson. Harris is a good replacement with a bit of grunt but surely the England lads must be pissing themselves every time Doherty gets the ball. He looks like the duelling banjoist from Deliverance and the parallels between the central act of that movie and what KP has being doing to him recently are a painful reminder of when entertainment becomes too difficult to watch.
The Australian press have absolutely hammered their side for the last ten days. Some tabloids have taken to issuing guidelines as to how to do a rain dance. Others are trotting out (see what Wickman did there) the old canard about South Africans playing for England in desperation. Do they remember Kepler Wessels at all? The selectors and Ponting are said to be at loggerheads with Andrew Hilditch the one getting most of the abuse. Until Michael Clarke got runs last night the knives were out for him. Marcus North needs a bit innings it would seem. Nathan Hauritz’s standing as Australia’s best spinner increases every time Doherty sways past the wicket on his way to deliver another pie.
Wickman’s advice is simple. Sit back and enjoy it. Whatever happens tomorrow we're in the driving seat and it doesn't happen very often. And if you aren’t getting much in the way of banter from Australian chums who have gone worryingly silent get on to cricinfo. Right now its open season on the Ashes from our sub-continental chums who are up in arms about whether a series between the third and fifth ranked test nations is worth the candle… Wickman says it is. It’s been a long time since England played so positively and with such enjoyment. And a long time since Australia have had to overcome their own limitations, a panicking media and a home crowd as hostile as a Headingly Saturday. It might not happen again…
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