The Man from Del Monte - he says "yes"!

Not that Wickman ever doubted it, but the Man from Del Monte has said yes. If you were down at the Wick on Sunday morning at 10.15am you would have seen a delegation arrive and a nervous Chairman Maoples usher them around. Far from checking the quality of our citrus and other fruits though they were assessing our suitability for inclusion in the Surrey Champ. Well, boys, its on the nod official that we're in. Surrey Championship cricket is coming to a Wick near you.

So now Cranesy will be able to get ducks at a completely new standard of cricket. Should we put the rate up?

Ducks when playing elsewhere...

Possibly one of the most irritating things to happen to any cricketer must be when they are drafted into a friend's or work side as a ringer and they get a duck. Just imagine the pre-match chat. "Yes mate, I have a ringer, he plays league cricket for Hampton Wick". In your mind you build up the entire week before the innings thinking "easy runs" and "I can impress the bird from marketing with a rapid fifty". But then... disaster. Having towed your coffin into the changing room, donned your stash and stridden to the middle you get castled first ball. Hideous. A feeling of pure hatred for everyone and a desire to beat the strip with your gloved fists is almost totally swamping you. And the ribbing. It's like someone striking your temple with a pickaxe.

Has this happened to any of you this season? Feel like confessing? You know it makes sense. Best get it out here...

Wick send Downsiders dowwwwwwn. Final Sunday Report by Matty D

On Sunday 14th September the Wick season 2008 drew to a close. And like the season, the day ended in success, with Shaun Whinney leading the Sunday side to a hard grafted victory against a competant Downsiders team.

First impressions were intimidating. Downsiders' openers actually did some warm ups. And one bowler actually had a run up! This wasn't what you correspondant fancied on another morning after the night before.

Whinney: We're batting Matty. Where do you want to bat?
MattyD: I don't care mate. You da boss.
Whinney: OK. You go in 3.
MattyD: The ol' glamour position. Perfect.

We opened up with Mr Kemp and Mr Whinney putting no a superb 45 for the opening wicket, coming at 4s. This was characterised by some wayward, but lively, opening bowling that was often bludgeoned by Kemp in particular. Kemp fell caught at cover, making his haighest score for the Wick (against external opposition). Davies came, Davies missed the ball, Parkes gave it out.

Derrick and Whinney then added some more before Whinney was caught at midwicket off a classic slow dobber that seems to do the Wick so many times. So much so in fact that I shall be working on my dobbing bowling pre-season, because if they can do it why can't I?

The wickets began to tumble. Derrick put on a decent 24, and Kirk hung around for 39 balls before finally getting a run. His 15 turned out to be vital in a low scoring game (even theugh the track was much better than this). Vader scored 4, a massive effort on his part and the Wick folded on 134 off 40. Below par, but something to bowl at.

DBW's final tea of the season. There were no tears. No-one cares that much. Egg, Ham, Cheese. Cucumber. ATS. 5/10. A tired effort.

In response, Graham and Splinter opened up. Graham on paper was the senior man, but despite bowling well, couldnt find the consistency we were after. In contrast, Linter made the openers play more often, and was just threatening enough to feel he was the more likely to make the breakthrough. t proved to be so, with Maloj taking a ripping catch at gully, and then another being taken by Parkes at short on the off side.

Back in the game, Whinney turned the screw, bringing on Vader and Maloj to toss it up a bit and ask some nervous questions of the Downsiders. Maloj removed the talente opener with a beauty of a slower ball and before you knew it they were 6 down.

The Downsiders' skipper then joined the party, with a controlled inning of 35, playing sensible and calm cricket under some pressure. He howeevr was fooled by a skippers slower ball, that was snaffled by Debut Dave at mid on and the rest of the wickets fell like dominoes. Soppitt and Davies took experienced catches in the outfield, and Davies ended the season with an efficient run out of the #11. Special mention too for a return to form for Mr Laight, whos runs proved vital and controlled death bowling kept us in the game when their skipper threatened to make it look easy.

Congratulations to PE Man Shaun for a 100% record - which actually makes you the best captain at the club. The same stat makes Clarky the worst.

Wick

Clarky tells me that his captaincy record at The Wick is Played 3, Won 1 (Old Sluts - fcuking killed 'em), Lost 1 (shame), Abandoned 1. That's a 50 per cent record

Season Report – HWRCC 2xi - by Wickman

A second straight promotion for the Wick 2s delivered by the skin of the side’s teeth with three straight wins to finish the season was just reward for a season which at times touched stunning. With hindsight aggressive declarations earlier in the season would probably have led to a slightly less fraught final week to the season and even greater success – but then that final weekend wouldn’t have tasted so sweet. It wouldn’t be Wick if we didn’t push it to the wire.

Wickman is not sure could have predicted that the standard in this division would only be a half, not a whole, step up from last year. Looking forward in March you had to assume that the cricket we were playing in the bottom division of Fullers would come in for some scrutiny at the next level up and that we would be undone and sent, if not packing, then certainly to look for some wrapping paper, gift tags and frilly bows.

In the event during that first part of the season that in years past held the Wick ransom to the University terms we simply exploded out of the batting blocks and it was difficult to see how anyone would ever beat us. Horley watched us pile on the runs like a relapsed slimmer scoffing a month’s supply of cream buns round the back of a Greggs outlet. Kingstonian celebrated an early wicket but were then made to toil like old aged pensioners at the harvest when all the boys were away at war and Ripley, like so many Morpeth householders, were made to look miserable by the rising tide of Wick runs.

That we were only able to take ten wickets once in those three games was not a criticism of our bowlers or fielders although it’s true to say that we have bowled and fielded better before and since. No, safety first in May and June will keep you North of the Wooden Spoon is a fair summation of how our oppos treated the early part of the season. Wickman supposes if you are on the wrong end of a shoeing early doors you probably think there is a great valour in a draw. Perhaps, you think, it builds character. Perhaps, you imagine, you will be in the wash up at the end of the season and any points needlessly ceded to the opposition at this point may well come back to haunt you.

For whatever reason we found that the only major difference between the two divisions was that our oppositions would be quite willing to block out for 40 overs rather than the more usual 10 of the division below. This correspondent really was close to thinking that Saturday cricket was not worth the bother, not worth the sacrifice of an afternoon in the company of one’s loved ones if this was what the good burghers of Surrey were about.

When we then went away to Lingfield – scene of one of the better games of 2007 – and failed to take the final wicket despite having 66 balls to do it – Wickman would be lying if he didn’t say that he thought that the Wick had blown it before even July had begun. That was a depressing journey back to HQ. 66 balls. Wickman estimates that if 16 might have hit the stumps he would be pleased enough to smoke a cigar at the memory. But ball after depressing ball passed wide of the stumps and there was nothing doing for a side that was hungry to win but, like a rat in a lab experiment, couldn’t find the way out of the maze and off towards the food.

Brilliant then that in between Merrow turned up to ours, won the toss, batted, collapsed and then watched us flay them around the Wick like an Austrian Dad in a cellar and head to the bar early. Ditto eventual league winners Stoke D’Ab, who batted themselves into a dominant position before spunking the lot well before the game had developed into the sort of foaming sensual abandon that it deserved given that the two teams finished only 10 points adrift of each other at the end of the season.

July saw a relative cruise through the teams that finished in the bottom half of the table. The boys dealt with Weybridge, Churt and Caterham easily despatched, Churt only bringing 8 men which always seemed optimistic on their behalf. Byfleet set The Wick 182 in 43 overs to provide the only real challenge of the period. The boys chased particularly well in this period and everyone was chipping in with quick, confident runs.

Which was why the mega collapses of Woodmansterne and Battersea were quite as mystifying as they were. How could largely the same line up fail to even pass 100 in a game? How could this team drop simple catches and be so shabby in the field when they had been so positive? It proved to be a blip because following the rain off at Chobham (how important would the result of THAT game have been given that we finished the season only two points in front of them) we then won three straight and never looked like losing any of the games.

The secret this year was in a relatively settled team. 10 players played more than 10 games. Only six played only one game. Seven batsmen contributed 150 runs or more. Fudgey made 550 at 44 (another phenomenal season and ranking him at No1 in the division), Hibby 311 at 77 with that magnificent 151* at Ripley just sublime in the memory (the third highest score made in any league) and Wrighty 307 at 51. Coley (250+) and Golby (230+) both put in very respectable chunks of runs too. Tommy D, Powelly, Duncan, Junaid and Del all took 10+ wickets at respectable averages in the early teens. Powelly took the season’s best 4-10 early on and if there was any slight eyebrow to be raised this year it was how such talented line ups didn’t get five at any point in the year. Clark managed a respectable 19 dismissals this year and improved as the decks became harder. Soppitt and Cole made a formidable spin twin partnership towards the end of the season and Del, as is his way, made very valuable contributions with the bat at important times.

It was, above all, a team performance in the final weeks of the season, that told. If the first half of the season had been about individual performances and big numbers, the run in was about grit, fight and backs to the wall stuff. This correspondent will fondly recall the fielding performance against CMO which was a grassed half chance away from perfect. The bowling was extraordinary – targeted, nagging, too good. If their visiting umpire had given a very plausible LBW they’d have scored no more than 50 against us. The noise, support, banter, camaraderie and general sheer enjoyment in that game was enough to raise hairs on the back of your neck. And this was in THE high pressure game of the season when a loss would have consigned us to another year trying to get up.

The final game will live long in the memory. We put in a very strong performance which should be the template for Fullers cricket. A well paced innings from Golby and a brutal one from Wrighty, both fulfilling their promise and talent, set up a big score in 43 overs. Then, on the strangest of decks, we simply wore down the opposition by bowling straight at the stumps and, once a few nerves had left the side, catching everything else.

It was a big ask to have got through at the first attempt and frankly no mean feat. That we didn’t end the season as champions and didn’t smash everyone in sight may just have taught us how to win again and about how to get through next year. Wickman can’t wait to see what the new season holds.

Huge congratulations to Fudgey for his 109 and innovative skippering, Hibby for that innings, Tommy for topping the wickets table and Powelly for backing him up. But there were so many other important performances over the season. Junaid’s slower ball was genius. Duncan’s LBWs at Lingfield to get him four for. Wrighty’s immense 72 and Golb’s gluey 66 at Shepperton. Delboy’s 66 to bury Whiteley. Nathan’s absolutely hard-on inducing 54 at Kingstonian. Charlie’s 69* against Caterham. Clarky’s all round day against CMO including Inspector Gadget catches. Powelly’s 4-10 vs Horley including some ripping reverse swing. Tommy destroying S&L’s top order with 4-21. Coley’s 3-3 against Churt. Lownsy ripping 4 out at Kingstonian and bringing "the wrestler" to the Wick celebration lexicon. Shauny’s opening spell at Woodies. Hirschy’s catch to give Fudgey a wicket at Weybridge. Saycey emerging from someone’s back garden before taking a blinder at Shepperton. Unsworth’s runs at Woodies. O’D’s important c&b against Byfleet. Tid ripping out CMO’s gun bat. Webbo bowling the perfect spell in the same game. AJ’s exemplary 50 against Horley and criminal run out (using Clarky as a runner) of Wrighty. Hilly getting the Stoke D’Ab skipper. Mackie’s keeping when Clarky was on holiday. Hodgy smashing the stumps to pieces at Shepperton. Even Toogood played.

It’s almost enough to make you want to play another season…

Hampton Wick Sunday XI - Season highlights

Matty D voted Sunday player of the season by Jimmy C

With the weather causing no shortage of havoc at the moment, and therefore the matches coming to a close, it is time to reflect on the season just past. Wickman Junior has had the pleasure of watching all of this year's sunday games, and has experienced the highs and lows like any other wick fan.

For the record, the Sunday team finished with a record of 9 wins and 4 losses. A superb effort. And like any fan of the Wick, there were a number of highlights to pick out.

• Junaid's 5/15 against Ashtead
• Our 3, and then 4 run wins against Nepotists and Teddington Town. Jimmy C and Whinny claiming vital wickets in the last overs.
• Graham Tong's 6/17 against Teddington (wow!)
• Danny Lee's 109 against Hampton Hill, including 9 sixes. MS breaking his nose. or:
• Cransey's blistering 78 runs against the Village XI.

Regardless of these highlights, it has been such an enjoyable season. Special thanks need to go to, in no particular order:

1. Matty D - A pillar of knowledge and strength throughout the entire season. Effectively pulling the strings while Jimmy C tried to captain was no mean feat. His runs and crucial advice in the clutch moments, helped the wick to win a number of these games. A pleasure to watch. MOS
2. Junaid and Whinney - Worked tirelessly all season, and played with infectious enthusiasm (no matter what the conditions)
3. Sisso - for such brilliant banter and story-telling after the matches.
4. Sam Kemp for his banter behind the stumps, and positivity.
5. Colts - Harry Copeland, the MJs and Hirshy's - really stepped up this season and made invaluable contributions. The future of the Wick is in good hands.
6. Dominic Lowns - for organising games. You're a legend - FACT
7. Vaider - great spin bowling all season. Must have clocked up 30 wickets mate!
8. Alison and DBW - for making Jimmy C's job a lot easier.

So, with only one match to go, it is time to sign off for season 2008. Jimmy C is passing the reins for next weekend's match to Shaun Whinney, who will be making his debut as captain. Jimmy will be in the States chasing, what he describes, as the "ultimate" larger set.

In sad news, Jimmy C has decided to step down as captain of the Sunday side after this season. Much in the manner of Michael Vaughan's departure from the England set up, he felt that he "just knew" that the time was right to leave the post. He told me in a exclusive interview for hwrcc blogspot, that he was "honoured to have led the club" on Sundays and "very sad to be stepping down" after his first season as skipper. He said that he still "believes" and that the Wick is THE BEST CLUB IN THE WORLD.

From me, Wickman Junior, that's just about it as well. The blog has very much been my outlet to express everything good and decent about the Wick this season. I hope my posts have been enjoyable to read, and that you've all learnt something. And as i wipe the tears from my eyes (cutting onions, ats), it's been emotional.

I'll see you next season.

Wickman Junior SUNDAY WICK RECORD (as below)

HWRCC vs Ashtead

Wick win by 50 runs. Ashtead bowled out for 67 runs. Junaid 5/15. Vaider 2 wickets. Matty D 48 runs

HWRCC vs Kingston

Wick win by 100 runs. Golby 68 runs. Junaid 3 for. Vaider 2 wickets

HWRCC vs Nepotists

Wick win by 3 runs. Whinney takes 2/12 off 8 overs, including last ball heroics, where they needed 11 off the last over.

HWRCC vs Teddington Town

Wick win by 4 runs. Jimmy C taking two wickets off the last over to win the match.

HWRCC vs Teddington

Wick lose by 10 runs. Whinney and Jimmy C take blinding catches. Tong takes 6/17 and Matty D – 54 runs.

HWRCC vs Sutton

Wick win by 59 runs. Matty D makes 71, Whinney 43. Jimmy C takes 3 for 2.

HWRCC vs Hampton Hill

Wick lose by 1 wicket. 10-man wick. Danny Lee – 100, Harry Copeland 47. Jimmy C 4 wickets. MS goes to hospital – broken nose.

HWRCC vs. Colts coaches

Wick win by 30 runs. Tony Copeland goes mental. Colts annoy Jimmy C

HWRCC vs Deando Ruxley

Wick lose by two wickets. A tale of two pitches.

HWRCC vs Crossbats

Wick win by 50 runs. Whinney and Chris MJ making 60 runs each

HWRCC vs Village XI

Wick win on Duckworth Lewis. Cransey 78 and Matty D 60

HWRCC vs NPL

Wick lose by 2 wickets. International player gives us thumping.

HWRCC vs Old Spens

Wick win by 40 runs. Maloj 65 and Junaid 25. Clarkey 2/9 and Jimmy C 3/9.

A Crazzle and the celebration

Somewhere over the winter too much wrestling was watched. Here Cransey celebrates his five for on Saturday evening. Imagine the fingers waved from side to side in the wrestling style... its almost as bad as McGrath and Warne holding the ball up for a five for. Purlease.

Next you will be telling me that Webbo does 7 star jumps and a "hallo mammy" as part of his standard lbw appeal.

Shocking

Think the cricket season has finished? Not on your nelly!

For those of you "still believing" in 2008, and don't want the season to be over just yet, there are still more games to go.

Starting this Sunday, the Wick are at home to the Fleet Street Rollers. Game kicks off at 1pm (meet at 12.30pm). If you want to end your season on a high by getting runnnsss or a hatful of wickets, then drop jimmy C a note at jamesc@consol.co.uk or call 0789 135 1404 to find out more.

Matty D, Graham Smith, Jo Hirsh, Imran, Maloj and the skipper have been confirmed places already. So if you want to play cricket - 40 overs a side - and enjoy some britany's after the game, the time is now.

Wickman Junior

Club Dinner - Saturday 4th October

After an amazing season for all 3 teams, the end of season club dinner is a perfect way to reflect on the last 8 months. The dinner is being held at the club this year, with tickets priced at £30 each. The dinner will be limited to 80 people due to space, and Alison has already sold 15 tickets..It will commence with a drinks reception from 7.15pm followed by food, speeches and entertainment. Tickets are available this saturday at the chairman v's president XI game or by emailing Dom (dominic_lown@hotmail.com) Wives and girlfriends are more then welcome! Tables will be of 10 people. If you would like to nominate yourself as a table captain let me know. All money raised from the night goes straight to the club and the new nets fund. So book the baby sitter, dig out the DJ and persuade the Wickwag. Look forward to seeing you there.

Wick 3rd XI promoted to Surrey Championship

Final day spanking of Battersea secures deserved promotion for Wick 3rd XI

HWRCC - 259/8 off 47.5 overs (Charlie High - 80-odd runs)

defeated

Battersea Ironsides - 160 all out (Crane 5 for 34, Jimmy C 3/32)

What a brilliant day. Even though it is now a few days since we secured promotion to the Surrey Championship, i'm still pinching myself that this has all happened. Hampton Wick's 3rd XI team, following their first foray into the league, have been promoted at the first attempt. Lively!

After a season of more ups and downs than Devine Brown on Hugh Grant on the sunset strip, it all came down to this moment: if we secured at least a winning draw against Battersea Ironsides we'd be promoted to the Surrey Championship. Destiny was in the hands of 10 wick boys + Risso. The question was: could we produce under the pressure?

Having arrived at the club early on Saturday morning to listen to how hung over Fordy was from his previous night's endeavours (i really just wanted a bacon sandwich....but this is the Wick i guess so you pretend to listen, don't you?), the anticipation amongst the team was growing. Despite concern from some quarters in the team that we might be building this game up too much (i wonder why?), the time soon came to head over to Kingsfield, warm up and calm the nerves - there was no time to even analyse if we were overhyping it.

After a few choice words from Captain Lloyd ("enjoy the occasion, believe, etc"), we were as pumped as we were ever going to get and ready to start the match. While some players talked about the mathematics of winning draws, losing draws, etc, there was a genuine belief that if we played strong and positive cricket, we could give this Battersea side a run for their money. And this was a good Battersea side by the way.

So on a muggy but beautiful Wick afternoon, Battersea won the toss and sent us in to bat. This was probably not a bad result all things considered, as our history of chasing totals this season has not been that impressive. The previous week was still fresh in our mind, and that we just managed to scrape home chasing 139 was potentially an omen that batting first was the way forward. It also meant that if we got a big score, we would surely put the game beyond Battersea's reach. This was our best and deepest batting team of the season, so there were no excuses.

Risso and Lloydy kicked off the innings for the Wick, and the runs soon flowed. Perfect. Risso only knows one way to bat and that is: hit out or get out. Luckily for Risso in the early overs, the chances for Battersea were few and far between, and we were ticking the scoreboard over at about 4 runs every 6 balls. With the assistance of Lloydy from the other end, we had soon reached 50 for no loss after 14 overs and things were going nicely. Perfect.

But this was no ordinary Battersea side, and they clearly hadn't come to just make up the numbers. Soon enough we realised we were in for a tough match. Lloydy was bowled all ends up to a fuller pitched delivery and Cransey, coming in at number 3, didn't last much longer, being caught at square leg to a simple catch despite making a promising start to his innings (ats). When Risso was cleaned bowled a handful of overs later, the boys on the boundary line started to get worried. At 60-odd for three we needed to knuckle down and get some runs. So who would stand up?

Enter Charlie High.

Having performed so well with the bat this season, and after getting out so cheaply on a number of occasions, the question of whether we could get a big total was simlpe: which Charlie High would we get today? Luckily for us, it was a Charlie High who, with surprising maturity, scored runs.

The arrival of Charlie High and Duncan to the crease, and their subsequent partnership, was a massive turning point in the match (though not the biggest). Putting on a 100-odd run partnership, the pair were simply awesome, and made Battersea sweat through every over. Charlie, when the pressure was on, rose to the challenge. Hitting 4s and pushing 1s and 2s, it seemed like he would bat all day (although that never happens). Duncan, from the other end, just needed to hold his end up during the Charlie onslaught, a job he did magnificently well. We had soon reached 170-3 off 30-odd overs and looked set to get a big total. We now needed to turn the screws.

Despite the inevitable removal of Charlie and Duncan, Zohac, Matty O'd, Jimmy C, HC and TC all chipped in to help finish off the innings. On a decent Kingsfield track, we had reached 259 for 8 at after 47.5 overs. A bloody good total. Over to you Battersea.

Teas - not that a lot of us were focused on this aspect of the day, it must be said that this was a shabby offering from DBW. I would expect more from the Chinese re-education camps that some Tibetan protesters may have frequented over the years. The food wasn't even ready for eating when we arrived, and some went as far as to say that the selection of food was pure "gash". I would agree. 5/10.

The total had been set and now we had to defend it. This was the time to deliver, and there was no room for travellers (although there is always one to be fair). Even run would count and every wide / no ball would be crucial. We were determined. This was our time. Believe!

During the huddle, the players talked about leaving nothing left in the tank at the end of the match and to put everything we had into it. A pumped Dominic Lown did just that with his first over. With a rip snorter of a yorker, Lownsy smashed their openers stumps apart. You could see how much the wicket meant to him. It was writ large on his face, and you couldn't help but feel inspired. 1 down and 9 to go. COME ON YOU WICK!

However, as pumped as we were, the wickets didn't come quickly. Matty O'D, teaming up with Lownsy from the other end, struggled to find his length and couldn't get the next breakthrough we were looking for. And while Lownsy was bowling as well as ever, Battersea had managed to race to 50 for 1 after just 15 overs, and were well within the run rate. We needed a wicket - simple.

In order to shake things up a bit, Lloydy brought Jimmy C and Duncan into the attack. Despite a "gash" first ball, Jimmy followed up with four further cracking deliveries. His sixth ball jagged back at pace and took out the batsman's off stump. Bedlam. 2 down and 8 to go. In his very next over Jimmy, removed their number 4 batsmen. He played one down the metropolitan line when the district would have been better. The ball went sailing to Adam Crane at first slip. 7 wickets to go.

Despite being 3 wickets down at the break, Battersea were still well within the run rate and looked like they might trouble us. However, after the drinks break, Harry C took a beautiful catch off Jimmy C's bowling and made it 4 wickets down - 6 to go. Come on!!

The turning point in the match occurred when Adam Crane was thrown the ball to try and do a bit. What happened was pretty special. After bowling three wides with his first three deliveries, the signs weren't good. But then it all changed. Cransey took two wickets in two balls - one bowled and one caught, and it was goodnight nurse. Cransey looked as shocked as anyone, but as proud as punch at the same time.

And he wasn't finished there. Taking a further three wickets (another 1 bowled, a caught behind and another catch at mid on by TC) the game had ended as a contest, and we could taste promotion. Battersea were 150 off for 9 and we needed just 1 more.

The last wicket came from the most unlikely of sources. With fielders crouched around the batsmen, a short push to silly-mid off was followed by a sharp direct hit on the stumps by Lloydy. The batsmen, who had already downed a few pints during the lunch break, simply couldn't put his bat down in time. The umpire put the finger up. Cue bedlam. We were there!!!

The high fives were passed around the team as the boys sensed how great this accomplishment was. Our first season in the league. Promoted. And as we walked off the ground, i'm sure i saw a few tears in Risso's eyes (i can't be sure....but let's say there was), which showed just how much this meant to everyone.

The night ended on a high with the refrain of "promotione" being sung at Wick HQ long into the early hours of the evening. Emotional. So sweet. I didn't want to leave the club that night and wanted to keep soaking in the atmosphere. I eventually stayed over and slept on Matty D's coach with a towel around me because i had nowhere else to go. Lively, but beautiful.

Congratulations to all teams on magnificent seasons. This is what it means to be "Wick", and i'm still pumped.

Jimmy C (filling in for Wickman Junior, who cannot get daytime release on Saturdays. ATS)

Match Report - 1xi vs Long Ditton (h) by Matty D

Skipper fancies kip after oppo destroyed

HWRCC 239-7dec, O'Mahoney 89, Davies 56 (45 overs)
Long Ditton 134ao, Mathews 97*, Tughral 8-45

Ive written match reports like this many times this season. Too many times in fact. We absolutely spanked Long Ditton on Saturday. Took the piss in fact. It was embarassing. The team seemed to be overjoyed at every wicket that fell, wheareas I was mores subdued, knowing we were likely to play them again next year. If we keep the players we've got we will probably spank them again. It was ridiculous.

The deck was rock solid. Apart from a strange vein running down the length of the pitch, just outside the corridor of uncertainty, this was going to be a run fest. In reality it was too wide to be of concern to anyone.

Long Ditton won the toss and fielded. HWRCC opened up with HIbberd and Davies looking unruffled. The fairly sharp opener blew himself out early on, mixing some decent short and lively stuff with too many legside balls that were easy pickings for, in particular, Davies. With the scoreboard healthy at 40 off 13, Hibberd played a slightly rash shot, across the line and was bowled. All this did, however, was bring O'Mahoney to the crease. Along with Davies he pushed on nicely, the occasional bludgeoned 4, the occasional dabble to 3rd man, a few flicks off the legs etc etc. I think there were maybe two stifled appeals for the entire first 25 overs?

Davies, having reached his half century, holed out to the long square leg boundary. A foolish shot, although on a hot day fresh legs at the crease wouldnt be a bad thing. One brings two. £15 please AJ. Ben, and then Raza (40) joined Adam to push the score on to a comfortable 239. O'Mahoney top scoriong with 89 superb runs in fron of the family. Emotional.

Teas? Standard. 7. No variation this week - although the promise of curry later in the evening stopped Davies from eating too much. That, and some slight nerves that we may not be able to take 10 wickets on a flat deck.

Our only option was to take the old ball and start with Zammy. The only bowler to get anything out of the deck for Long Ditton was a leggie (presumably part time). He found some bounce, but certainly didnt escape run punishment either.

Hers where the circus starts. There were two games of cricket being played in the middle. One was against mr Jason Matthews. The best batsman in the league (check the stats), and the other against Long Ditton. In a score of 134, Jason scored 97*. He carried his bat. Apart from his 3rd ball, the scuttled off the edge between slips 1 and 2, his innings was pretty much flawless. In 16 innings, he has reached 50 on 11 occasions. He hasnt scored a ton because, presumably, he runs out of partners. This was LITERALLY the case on Saturday, as Zammack proved far too good for the entire Long Ditton team, scoring 37 between them. Even Kam managed 40!

Mr Matthews was suitably annoyed and I was suitably bored.

Take nothing away from Zammack. He bowled well, but not that well. Ive seen him bowl teams out, but on Saturday he merely had to put the ball there as the wickets were always going to follow. Embarassing, but that's cricket.

Indeed, that's life.

We finish the league in 3rd position, 2 points off a promotion spot having been 2nd all year. Take nothing away from Stoke - the league table doesnt lie. Even though we scored 30 more points than the team in 2nd last year, we need to recognise that both Guildford and Godalming also eclipsed said score. We know were we lost this promotion, it certainly wasnt on Saturday.

Mahusive congratulations to the 2XI and 3XI, but Im embarassed that HWRCC 1XI are still in Fullers going into 2009.

[Here O'Mahoney demonstrates how he has become the club's leading fielder - Ed]

Kammy's Kurry - First Ever 10

A big thank you from all of the boys and girls to Kammy, Mrs K and the little Ks for feeding us all on Saturday night. While there were a few reports of Japanese Flag incidents coming out on Sunday morning, it was certainly one of the finest curries this food critic has sampled in a good long while going in.

Wickman can't remember exactly what was on the menu - a chicken dish and beef dish is about as close a description as you are going to get here owing to alcohol induced forgetfulness - it certainly smashed a DBW tea into a cocked hat. 10 and no quibbles.