Wickman discovers Cricinfo gem

"I thought Stephen Outerbridge was unlucky as he didn't play at the ball when the umpire gave him out caught behind. I also thought my lbw was a little suspect, but that's no excuse."

What sounds remarkably like excuses from Bermuda captain Irving Romaine after his side's 43-run loss to Uganda. Bermuda receive millions of dollars of funding each year while Uganda have to launch appeals for equipment

Oh dear, poor Stephen Outerbridge. Here he is getting out have not played at the ball. That would make up for the times he didn't get out middling it. What goes around, comes around for cheats.

Latvian Police...

Record number of old Bores join 2008 committee

Only kidding. Clarky's on it. It must be fun.

There have been a few changes to the committee in preparation for possibly the most exciting season of Wick cricket ever. Since the 2s got promoted. And the 1s were champions...

Sadly AJ has relinquished the Fixtures Sec job after, it is reported, the 1s travelled to Mars only to find it uninhabited with no strips prepared (the picture shows Matti's car parked where the SATNav said the pavillion would be). The journey took only marginally less time than a round trip to Barnet with MS at the wheel, or so I am told. Lownsy has stepped manfully into the breach and has also now been promoted to Social Secretary Second Class (Order of the Corona) to work alongside Hibby who continues to demonstrate his legendary delegation skills.

With the thirds entering the Fullers League next season, James Lloyd has been elected 3s skipper. We wish him the best of luck in building on the enthusiasm of last year's friendly foray into league opposition territory.

Jimmy C, self styled as Wickman Jr, has taken perhaps the most difficult job in the club in becoming Sunday Skipper for 2008. Rumour has it he bounced a 12 year old last year so we're expecting competitive cricket there and more difficulty than ever for the 2009 Fixtures Secretary in securing games.

Alan Carter has agreed to be Crossbats liaison for 2008 which will be a brilliant move. Coley is doin a bit too. Cransey (or Poacher turned gamekeeper) has agreed to take on the bar. Keith thinks this means he'll be running it, but Wickman fears that he actually meant he was going to drink it dry over the close season...

Matti D and Fudgey remain as 1s and 2s skippers, Keith is Chair and Treasurer, Clarky is Secretary and Bobby is still "Il Presidente de la Republica de la Wick". Julian as ever quietly goes about the business of league repping.

Joking aside last year Herculanean efforts were put in to Year 3 of the revitalisation of the club. Many good things were acheived. A real sense of purpose and achievement so Wickman salutes everyone who gave so much unheralded time and dedication to making the club a success via the committee.

Getting wick with... Krusty the Lown

1 Nickname(s): Lownsey, Krusty, Clowns, slinga, malinga, mr treasurer, trainee level 6
2 Highest Score for HWRCC: 11 Sunday XI v's Hampton Hill 2006, only faced 2 balls this season so no chance to improve
3 Best Bowling for HWRCC: 5 for 42 for 2nd XI vs Lingfield away 2/06/2007
4 Favourite Away Ground: Hambledon
5 Favourite Food: Salt Beef bagels
6 Favourite Singer/Band: Green Day
7 Favourite Movie: Layercake
8 Favourite Book: Roger's Profanisaurus
9 Favourite Pub/Club: Halo, Leeds
10 Favourite Crisps: Space Invaders beef flavour
11 Favourite DBW Sandwich: Egg Mayo. it is the Heston Blumenthal of egg sandwiches. such dedication each week
12 Favourite Quote: Del's explaining why he has had his tonsils out on the trip down to Southampton Tour 2007. Can't really repeat here...!
13 Childhood Sports Hero: Gary Lineker
14 Best Wick Moment: Catch against Thames Ditton off Fudgey's bowling or Clarky's innings against Hampton last game of season (great catch, great innings - Ed)
15 Worst Wick Moment: Not beating Long Ditton 3rd last game of season when we needed 1 wicket to win the league
16 Invite 3 People to Dinner (Dead or Alive) Gordon Ramsey, Tara Reid, Martin Johnson

Uda Walawwe Mahim Bandaralage Chanaka Asanka Welegedara

Crazy name, crazy guy. Not likely to make his test debut, which is a shame.

England Tour Starts Off Okay Shocker

Whisper it quietly, but what is going on in Sri Lanka right now? An England tour has started without the usual criticisms of the schedule, spate of career limiting injuries and heavy defeats to provincial sides. Although, it must be remembered, oppo openers (it was Phil Jacques last Winter) have done a certain amount of feasting on our new ball bowlers.

But after the mauling handed out in the 500+ run glut last week, something bizarre happened here. England ressurrected a tour match which looked at best precarious. Like Jesus bringing Lazarus back from the dead, Hoggy, whom it is not permitted to write about without using the words "trencherman", "stooped" and "trudge", reached down, touched the corpse of this game and brought it back to life with five for twenty five.

Cook - who was made for sub continent batting on the basis that you have to simply grind your way to a decent score - then scored more runs, Pietersen decided to ruin the Cook theory with a nice quick thrash including customary reverse sweep and Shah and Prior smeared the rest of the runs in an indecent haste to give us a five wicket win. Well blow Wickman down.

Of course this doesn't mean that Murali isn't going to destroy us at the weekend, but it's quite comforting. Sri Lanka will, as they have done for the last 10 years, try to bat first and make enough runs so that they can allow Murali to bowl 80+ overs in the game to bowl England out twice. The boys will spend hour after hour trying to get outside the line of off stump to him and score runs at the other end. Run rates will be at best "attritional". We'll try to take all the tests into a fifth day. Hoggy will bowl spells where every other ball is slower or an off cutter. Cook will get all the runs. The media will have a field day talking about Tsunami victims when the show moves to Galle.

And you know what? It will all be absolutely perfect because Test cricket is what its all about. Wickman cannot wait for 5am Saturday morning. Eyes propped open with matchsticks, Mrs W and the Wickettes tucked up in bed, coffee and the old bacon sandwich fella in hand. It's the proper thing.

Aussies set new standard 2

And while we are on the subject of crap Australian trophies, what's this obsession with naming them? Why do Aussies have to have something to play for?

Here we have a Mickey Mouse two test series between them and the Sri Lankans. For the Warne - Murali trophy. Play the Indians and its Border - Gavaskar. The Kiwis? Chappell - Hadlee. Then there's the Frank Worrell Trophy - between them and the Windies. That was set up in the 1960s at least.

So what next? They could have the Kepler Wessells trophy for tests between them and the Jaapies? Would make it nice and easy after all as he played for both teams.

They could inaugurate the Hair - Inzi Trophy for Pak games... or maybe not

2003 showed they have nothing against Mugabe when it comes to winning trophies so that's the Zim one sorted.

Your suggestions here please for Bangladesh...

Aussies set new standard

No, this is not a post about how well Jacques has done in replacing Mr Kung Fu, nor is about Mr Cricket's improbable average.

It's about how they have managed to make the ugliest trophy in world cricket. Scrub that, world sport, full stop.

It reminds Wickman of various horror films he has seen. Hands here are reaching through a seemingly solid wall and grasping the cojones of someone unsuspecting.

A nightmare indeed.

God's own garden

In Basel, Switzerland, it is as cold as a nuns nasty, and I have only a wood burner in the corner of the room to stop my more vital personal organs becoming frostbitten and snapping off.

The hills surrounding the city are sunk beneath a metre of snow, and the whistling wind makes going outside as enjoyable as watching re-runs of the 5th day of the 2006 Adelaide Ashes test.

I don't know what it's like back in Blighty but i bet it's not as good as this - Golden Wick summer of 2006 anyone?

Friday Beers in town pre-Fullers League Dinner UPDATED

Are now here because an Anon has been ASBOed out of the Firestation. See you there.

AGM - Tuesday November 20th

HAMPTON WICK ROYAL CRICKET CLUB
Bushy Park, Park Road, Hampton Wick, Kingston-upon-Thames, Surrey
Telephone 020-8977 2378

06 November 2007

TO: ALL MEMBERS

NOTICE OF ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING

An Annual General Meeting will be held on Tuesday 20th November 2007 in the pavilion at 8 p.m.

AGENDA

1. Apologies for absence.
2. To elect Officers of the Club for the 2008 season.
3. To elect Team Captains for the 2008 season.
4. To elect the Club Committee.
5. To approve the accounts for the year ending 30th march 2007.
6. To set subscriptions and match fees for the 2008 season.
7. Any Other Business.
8. Closure.

Nick Clark
Hon. Secretary

Friday Beers in town pre-Fullers League Dinner

Looking forward to Friday's celebration of the 2s promotion (aka The Fullers League Dinner)? If you are waged and working in London we'll be meeting at The Firestation for a drink or two. Wickman will be there from 5pm. We'll need to get the 18.32 to Esher from Waterloo so we don't miss the soup. See you there...

AGM - Tuesday November 20th

The Annual General Meeting will be held at the Wick at 7.45pm on November 20th.

Elections will be held for key club positions and we will review plans for next year if Clarky can get of his arse and get them done.

We'll also review the finances which are likely to show that we aren't drinking enough, talk about exciting things like new nets and then those of you with the stomach / wallet for it will be heading off for a curry. It's magical nights like that which make the Wick what it is today. Please let me know if you intend to attend the AGM and specifically if you are coming out for a Ruby afterwards. RSVP to Wickman1863@gmail.com

Getting wick with... Chairman Nips

1 Nickname(s): Nipples, Chief Basil, Justin Timberlake??
2 Highest Score for HWRCC: 85 v Willingham
3 Best Bowling for HWRCC: 7- 50 odd v Ashford
4 Favourite Away Ground: Finchampstead
5 Favourite Food: Chinese Duck
6 Favourite Singer/Band: The Who, Neil Young, Sinatra, Tracey Chapman REM, Mariza
7 Favourite Movie: Pulp Fiction, Shawshank Redemption, Volver, The lives of Others, The Killing Fields
8 Favourite Book: Star of The Sea (Joseph O’Connor) The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini), Snow (Orhan Pamuk) Homage to Catalonia (George Orwell)
9 Favourite Pub/Club: Adelaide (Teddington) Chequers (Steyning, Sussex) White Horse (Shere)
10 Favourite Crisps: Cheese & Onion
11 Favourite DBW Sandwich: Egg Mayo & Onion
12 Favourite Quote: Marriage is an institution but who wants to live in an institution (Groucho Marx)
13 Childhood Sports Hero: John Snow (Sussex & England bowler now newsreader)
14 Best Wick Moment: Being elected Chairman of the club
15 Worst Wick Moment: Being elected Chairman of the club .Dropping 4 catches in a 3rd X! match. The rest of the team reckoned it was 5 and it cost me a jug
16 Invite 3 People to Dinner (Dead or Alive) Fidel Castro, Stephen Fry, Marilyn Monro and, if I had a fourth, Hibby